Story: "Hairpins" Part 10
Mar. 12th, 2014 12:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithSorry for the delay, my loyal fans, and thanks to the folks who asked if everything was okay here. Tuesday evening got eaten by locusts. Thursday Friday is also likely to get eaten by different locusts. I'll keep up posting as best I can.
This story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," and "Green Eggs and Hulk."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, JARVIS, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Bruce Banner.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: This story is mostly fluff, but it has some intense scenes in the middle. Highlight for details. These include dubious consent as Phil and JARVIS discuss what really happened when Agent Coulson hacked his way into Stark Tower, over which Phil has something between a flashback and a panic attack. They also discuss some of the bad things that have happened to Avengers in the past, including various flavors of abuse. If these are sensitive topics for you, please think carefully before deciding whether to read onward.
Summary: Uncle Phil needs to pick out pajamas for game night. He gets help from an unexpected direction.
Notes: Service. Shopping. Gifts. Artificial intelligence. Computers. Teamwork. Team as family. Friendship. Communication. Hope. Apologies. Forgiveness. Nonsexual ageplay. Nonsexual intimacy. Love. Tony Stark needs a hug. Bruce Banner needs a hug. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29.
"Hairpins" Part 10
Phil was doing SHIELD paperwork in his den, with soft classical music playing in the background, when JARVIS chimed for attention. "Our order for game night has arrived," JARVIS announced. "Do you wish to claim it in the lobby, or shall I direct it up here?" The tower had central reception and processing areas, connected to service ways filtered through increasing layers of security, so that supplies could be routed where needed without intruding on personal space.
Along with the package from the pajama company came a basket of less urgent mail and a white cardboard carton that opened to reveal a piece of New York crumb cake. "I didn't ask for brunch," Phil said, although it smelled so delicious that his mouth watered. He hated the thought of sending it away. "Somebody else's order must have gotten mixed in with mine."
"The delivery is correct," JARVIS said. "You have not yet consumed anything more than coffee today. Studies indicate that early-morning meals improve performance. A snack service is also available if you state your preferences. Stark Industries protocol includes the provision of food from tower supplies to encourage healthy eating habits in employees."
"I'm not --" Phil began, but he was, because Tony had insisted on hiring all the Avengers when they first moved in with him. He didn't trust SHIELD to provide for them. They all had salaries and benefits through SI now. Phil had been startled to discover that 'Avengers Tower' accorded each of them partial ownership of the building, primarily their own apartments, although Bruce also had lab space in his name and some of the other specialty areas were shared across various team members. "All right, fine, I'll take a break for brunch."
The crumb cake tasted even better than it smelled, pale fluffy cake under a generous layer of big crispy crumbs that burst in his mouth with a warm cinnamon flavor. Phil hummed in appreciation. The tower maintained contracts with several local bakeries, as well as what its own cafeteria produced, so there was never a shortage of fresh bread and pastries. Phil licked his forefinger and pressed it to the bottom of the carton to catch the last few delectable crumbs.
Next he picked up the package and checked to make sure that both sets of pajamas matched the specs provided for them. They did. Then his gaze fell on the address label. He had routed the order through several bounce accounts so that it could not be traced to him, but the last one pointed to his current address.
Phillip J. Coulson
Avengers Tower Apt. A6
Columbus Circle
New York, NY 10019
His hand brushed over the padded yellow envelope and the white label, following the lines of crisp black ink. "Our order..." he murmured thoughtfully.
There was only one name on the label. Phil had picked out the pajamas himself. He hadn't asked Natasha or Tony for input, wanting to surprise them. Nobody else had been involved, except for some assistance from JARVIS in weeding out the inappropriate search results.
* * *
Notes:
New York crumb cake is a local specialty, related to a coffee cake and popular for breakfast or brunch.
Most people do their best when they eat breakfast regularly. Breakfast conveys many benefits. Conversely, skipping breakfast can have a negative impact on school or job performance. While Phil doesn't have the slow-starting metabolism of Tony or Bruce, he is very busy -- a key reason why people often skip breakfast. In that case, having someone offer tempting items is an effective route to better eating habits.
Healthy snacks can be a valuable part of a nutritious food plan. Various snack delivery services such as Graze or Nature Box offer a selection of tasty nibblements that are good for you, with various themes or delivery schedules. Avengers Tower simply does the same thing in house, letting people indicate what kind of snacks they like and when they tend to get hungry. For a minor increase in the food budget, Tony gets higher performance and much happier workers. Things like this are why nobody has much success poaching employees out of Stark Industries.
There's a list of New York superhero addresses, including the Avengers Tower address. Local color can make for excellent writing if you know what you're doing, and sometimes Marvel does a brilliant job of this. I am still in awe of the fact that they researched NYC demographics and used that to set the new Spiderman's race as Hispanic/black.
[To be continued in Part 11 ...]
This story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," and "Green Eggs and Hulk."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, JARVIS, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Bruce Banner.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: This story is mostly fluff, but it has some intense scenes in the middle. Highlight for details. These include dubious consent as Phil and JARVIS discuss what really happened when Agent Coulson hacked his way into Stark Tower, over which Phil has something between a flashback and a panic attack. They also discuss some of the bad things that have happened to Avengers in the past, including various flavors of abuse. If these are sensitive topics for you, please think carefully before deciding whether to read onward.
Summary: Uncle Phil needs to pick out pajamas for game night. He gets help from an unexpected direction.
Notes: Service. Shopping. Gifts. Artificial intelligence. Computers. Teamwork. Team as family. Friendship. Communication. Hope. Apologies. Forgiveness. Nonsexual ageplay. Nonsexual intimacy. Love. Tony Stark needs a hug. Bruce Banner needs a hug. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29.
"Hairpins" Part 10
Phil was doing SHIELD paperwork in his den, with soft classical music playing in the background, when JARVIS chimed for attention. "Our order for game night has arrived," JARVIS announced. "Do you wish to claim it in the lobby, or shall I direct it up here?" The tower had central reception and processing areas, connected to service ways filtered through increasing layers of security, so that supplies could be routed where needed without intruding on personal space.
Along with the package from the pajama company came a basket of less urgent mail and a white cardboard carton that opened to reveal a piece of New York crumb cake. "I didn't ask for brunch," Phil said, although it smelled so delicious that his mouth watered. He hated the thought of sending it away. "Somebody else's order must have gotten mixed in with mine."
"The delivery is correct," JARVIS said. "You have not yet consumed anything more than coffee today. Studies indicate that early-morning meals improve performance. A snack service is also available if you state your preferences. Stark Industries protocol includes the provision of food from tower supplies to encourage healthy eating habits in employees."
"I'm not --" Phil began, but he was, because Tony had insisted on hiring all the Avengers when they first moved in with him. He didn't trust SHIELD to provide for them. They all had salaries and benefits through SI now. Phil had been startled to discover that 'Avengers Tower' accorded each of them partial ownership of the building, primarily their own apartments, although Bruce also had lab space in his name and some of the other specialty areas were shared across various team members. "All right, fine, I'll take a break for brunch."
The crumb cake tasted even better than it smelled, pale fluffy cake under a generous layer of big crispy crumbs that burst in his mouth with a warm cinnamon flavor. Phil hummed in appreciation. The tower maintained contracts with several local bakeries, as well as what its own cafeteria produced, so there was never a shortage of fresh bread and pastries. Phil licked his forefinger and pressed it to the bottom of the carton to catch the last few delectable crumbs.
Next he picked up the package and checked to make sure that both sets of pajamas matched the specs provided for them. They did. Then his gaze fell on the address label. He had routed the order through several bounce accounts so that it could not be traced to him, but the last one pointed to his current address.
Phillip J. Coulson
Avengers Tower Apt. A6
Columbus Circle
New York, NY 10019
His hand brushed over the padded yellow envelope and the white label, following the lines of crisp black ink. "Our order..." he murmured thoughtfully.
There was only one name on the label. Phil had picked out the pajamas himself. He hadn't asked Natasha or Tony for input, wanting to surprise them. Nobody else had been involved, except for some assistance from JARVIS in weeding out the inappropriate search results.
* * *
Notes:
New York crumb cake is a local specialty, related to a coffee cake and popular for breakfast or brunch.
Most people do their best when they eat breakfast regularly. Breakfast conveys many benefits. Conversely, skipping breakfast can have a negative impact on school or job performance. While Phil doesn't have the slow-starting metabolism of Tony or Bruce, he is very busy -- a key reason why people often skip breakfast. In that case, having someone offer tempting items is an effective route to better eating habits.
Healthy snacks can be a valuable part of a nutritious food plan. Various snack delivery services such as Graze or Nature Box offer a selection of tasty nibblements that are good for you, with various themes or delivery schedules. Avengers Tower simply does the same thing in house, letting people indicate what kind of snacks they like and when they tend to get hungry. For a minor increase in the food budget, Tony gets higher performance and much happier workers. Things like this are why nobody has much success poaching employees out of Stark Industries.
There's a list of New York superhero addresses, including the Avengers Tower address. Local color can make for excellent writing if you know what you're doing, and sometimes Marvel does a brilliant job of this. I am still in awe of the fact that they researched NYC demographics and used that to set the new Spiderman's race as Hispanic/black.
[To be continued in Part 11 ...]
(no subject)
Date: 2014-03-13 12:16 am (UTC)Seriously, I can't think of any UK company that takes care of their people like that, and to my knowledge, only google get close... and yet it's such a logical thing to do! It's just not part of British culture I think.
Which makes me wonder... how can Tony understand people so well, and yet be so bad at interacting with them personally? Or is it part of his 'damage', that he goes to great lengths to make people like him, and that bleeds over into his professional life... actually does he even have a distinction between personal and professional?
Hmm... and to echo the sentiments above, Jarvis is very quietly taking care of Phil, which is going to be a bit of a turn-about for him I suspect, given that he's usually in that role.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-03-13 04:33 am (UTC)We have seen that Phil needs being cared for too, it's been rare, but he relents with only minor drama.
Yes...
Date: 2014-03-13 06:52 am (UTC)Much the same concept. They probably do have a snack-and-beverage cart that travels the employee floors, in addition to the custom-ordered snack boxes. Free snacks and beverages will more than pay for themselves in improved productivity and morale. You could always go down to the cafeteria and buy real food there, but even that probably has a free soup-and-sandwich option or something like that, just because some people won't eat otherwise.
>> We have seen that Phil needs being cared for too, it's been rare, but he relents with only minor drama. <<
Sooth. For Phil it's less a matter of habitual self-denial than it is distraction. He'll get busy and just forget to eat or sleep quite as much as he should. Bruce is the same way. He'll eat if he feels hungry, sleep if he feels tired, but that man spends so much time with his head in the clouds that his body's needs often just don't reach him.
I figure that's one of the other things Hulk is for, minding survival needs. Hulk is probably very grateful to have Phil, Steve, Tony, and JARVIS to take over that prompting so that he doesn't have to keep going, "Puny Bruce EAT now!" or "No more lab. SLEEP." all the time.
All of the Avengers are getting better at self-care, and better at accepting care from their teammates, despite their tendency to put others first. It helps a lot that they are modeling for each other how to take care of someone else, so it's easy to argue, "Hey, you like it when I let you take care of me, so give me a chance to do the same for you."
Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-03-13 02:41 pm (UTC)Of course part of the reasoning for the free food at certain types of employers is they have their campus off in nowhere so there isn't somewhere to run out to. You wouldn't want to see the code that would happen after two days of not going home and left to their own devices. Bagels mold without refrigeration pretty quick.
Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-03-14 07:13 am (UTC)Agreed! It's a very practical service. I can imagine Pepper thinking, "Let's not have engineers fainting at their desks."
>> and rather than say 'you can't have this' it was 'let's be sensible and have one person do the fiddling and everyone else will stay on task until they have their cuppa and nibbles.' It was Modern! Efficient! Hygenic! (sorry, I think some ad copy escaped.) And the re-fuelled could get back on task and not be grumbling about no tea for them. <<
Exactly. Some places take coffee breaks or lunches in staggered shifts for that reason. Works fine with a breakroom or tea trolley.
The Stark Enterprises snack service just lets people estimate when they usually get hungry and delivers on that schedule. *chuckle* Or JARVIS sends things out if he thinks it's necessary. I doubt that Phil is the first time that's happened; with a food service in the building, it's easy to explain away.
>> Of course part of the reasoning for the free food at certain types of employers is they have their campus off in nowhere so there isn't somewhere to run out to. <<
That's true too. Tony just doesn't want his people to waste time running all over the city for stuff they could have delivered. That's rich-people thinking in a way, but it's considerate too.
The fact that the SI snack service offers fruit, nuts, granola and other healthy nibblements is doubtless due to somebody else looking up what kind of snacks would promote healthy, productive employees. Tony likes junk food. Heh, but we can say that packet of blueberries in the movie was probably part of a snackbox that Tony pocketed without half thinking of it.
>> You wouldn't want to see the code that would happen after two days of not going home and left to their own devices. Bagels mold without refrigeration pretty quick. <<
Yeah, that would suck. Well fed, properly hydrated, fully slept employees make fewer mistakes and better products.
Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-09-01 09:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-03-13 10:14 am (UTC)Well...
Date: 2014-03-16 09:55 pm (UTC)The advantage to a tea trolley is that it actively reminds people that they need to refuel. This works better if it's free, but even a paid one is helpful. I suspect there are still places that do this, but probably the more upscale ones, so it fits with Stark Industries.
Thoughts
Date: 2014-03-14 06:22 am (UTC)I can sympathize with the temptation.
>> Seriously, I can't think of any UK company that takes care of their people like that, and to my knowledge, only google get close... and yet it's such a logical thing to do! It's just not part of British culture I think. <<
Perhaps so. I think there are some places that do something similar, but they tend to be high-end ones like Stark Industries that need to attract and maintain the best people. Who sometimes are not all that great at taking care of themselves.
>> Which makes me wonder... how can Tony understand people so well, and yet be so bad at interacting with them personally? <<
It's not all Tony. JARVIS helps manage Stark Industries. Pepper is currently CEO. There are doubtless people in charge of maintaining a congenial working environment, who would do things like keep abreast of current research, innovative luxuries such as snack services, what benefits competing companies are offering, etc. I can't imagine it's much of a challenge to beat Hammer's presumably awful benefits package.
Now add into that how Tony made the Starkbars so he'd have something tasty, healthy, and convenient because he forgets to eat so often. That's a common trait for many intellectuals. So he's got a building with a high population of people who are brilliant but a bit erratic in certain regards. JARVIS and Pepper have learned some ways to manage Tony, and Tony has learned a bit about compensating for his own bad habits. It's not that much more of a leap to realize that prompting absent-minded folks to eat something healthy would probably boost performance. Plus, it's a lot cheaper to feed them, even if you have to hand-feed them, than have people keel over a desk and need to be carted to the tower clinic.
>> Or is it part of his 'damage', that he goes to great lengths to make people like him, and that bleeds over into his professional life... <<
That may well be part of it. Certainly this plays into Tony's habit of showering his friends with excessive gifts and his employees with benefits and raises. He honestly believes -- and has some unfortunate evidence to back it up -- that he needs to bribe people to put up with him. Tony's still trying to wrap his mind around the idea that the Avengers might possibly like him for himself instead of his money, his favors, his dick, or the Iron Man suit.
>> actually does he even have a distinction between personal and professional? <<
Not much of one; Tony has boundary issues all over. He doesn't seem to have any friends with zero professional connection. Rhodey comes closest, because that wasn't present when they met in college; it developed later with Rhodey in the military and Tony making weapons. Happy and Pepper both began as Tony's employees. The Avengers are all part of his superhero work. It's pretty much just Tony's botfamily, and even they are into the family business in some ways.
>> Hmm... and to echo the sentiments above, Jarvis is very quietly taking care of Phil, which is going to be a bit of a turn-about for him I suspect, given that he's usually in that role. <<
Yes, that's true. Phil isn't used to other people taking care of him yet.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-03-14 11:39 am (UTC)Now that I think of it, canonically Tony had a parade of interchangeable f**k-toys, or he had people with whom he had a semi-professional relationship. I think the only exception to that was the young boy from IR3, and I'm not so sure you couldn't call that one professional kind of.
I wonder if Tony even knows how to have a conversation with someone he's not working with, manipulating in some way or trying to seduce. Must be lonely in some ways.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-03-16 06:07 am (UTC)Yes, that makes sense.
>> Want to bet H.R probably has a whole little department beavering away just for him. <<
No doubt, and that's where you get sent if you fuck up, in hopes that either Tony will fire you or drive you to quitting. Any kind of Tony-duty in SI is either the best promotion you could ever hope to get ... or a one-way trip to Siberia.
>> Now that I think of it, canonically Tony had a parade of interchangeable f**k-toys, or he had people with whom he had a semi-professional relationship. <<
Yes, exactly.
>> I think the only exception to that was the young boy from IR3, and I'm not so sure you couldn't call that one professional kind of. <<
Tangentially professional, because without Tony's job they never would have met, and what did Tony do but rope the kid into garage/lab support.
>> I wonder if Tony even knows how to have a conversation with someone he's not working with, manipulating in some way or trying to seduce. <<
Probably not. I suspect he may have a short list of "small talk" lines that he memorized due to parental pressure. He doesn't really know how to socialize, just schmooze, flirt, pitch, or otherwise manipulate. Game night has been a tremendous help in terms of giving Tony experience with casual, personal interactions. He has probably cobbled it together from childhood memories of a few play dates and hanging with Edwin Jarvis. You can see how Tony still stalls out in team conversations sometimes; he's better at talking up his projects or someone else's than what he's feeling or what's going on in the world.
>> Must be lonely in some ways. <<
Tony spends most of his time in his head, concentrating on projects. When he comes down, he can be achingly lonely. That's a key part of what spurred him to make DUM-E and the rest of his botfamily, and to glom onto Bruce so fast.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-03-16 09:54 am (UTC)Although, Tony does have some rudimentary social skills, and bags of charm when he wants. So who knows.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-03-16 08:33 pm (UTC)Too true.
>> Although, Tony does have some rudimentary social skills, and bags of charm when he wants. So who knows. <<
Tony is good with people if there's a point of interface and he has a reason to be charming. If he doesn't respect them and/or doesn't want something from them, it's a disaster, because he doesn't really have "be nice to people" as a standard setting.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-03-16 03:09 pm (UTC)Only the best return. They're the ones that line was meant for. Occasionally they recondition some of those "lost causes" so they stop channeling Dogbert's dystopia.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-03-16 06:57 pm (UTC)* People who somebody thinks might actually be good at managing Tony in some regard.
* People who are such a pain in the ass as to make people want them gone, but for some reason not easy to fire directly.
* People who are great at their work but have seriously offended someone (or everyone).
Ideally, the ones who are more trouble than they're worth will get filtered out. Tony has a very sharp eye for spotting and promoting people who are terrific in some way, but not conventionally pleasing.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-03-18 01:07 pm (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-03-24 04:40 am (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-03-24 04:50 am (UTC)