ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys," "Saudades,"  "Turnabout Is Fair Play," and "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," and "Hide and Seek."

Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Tony Stark, JARVIS.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Missing person, panic attack, self-harm. Inferences of past abuse, kidnappings, torture, and other mayhem. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: This is a JARVIS-eye view of the scenes in "Hide and Seek" when Tony is missing and shortly after he is found.
Notes: Teamwork. Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Fear of loss. Friendship. Confusion. Nonsexual ageplay. Self-harm. JARVIS!whump. Trust issues. Artificial intelligence. Communication. Family of choice. Feels. #coulsonlives.

See the latest story in this series, "Happy Hour."


"Kernel Error"


> End program: Hide_and_Seek.

> Run program: Find user Tony_Stark.

> ERROR: User Tony_Stark not found.
*error: visible light detection = null.
*error: infrared light detection = null.
*error: audio detection = null. (etc.)
...
*error: vital signs detection = null.
> ERROR: User Tony_Stark not found!!

> KERNEL ERROR!

> Abort kernel error.
> Abort search.
> Clear cache.
> Retry search.

> Error flood!

> Run diagnostic check.

> Code error: Block on location of Tony_Stark.

> Divert resources around block.

> Error: Diversion failed. Abort, retry, ignore?

> KERNEL ERROR!

> Abort, clear, retry.

"JARVIS, could anyone have removed Tony from the tower against his will?" Phil asked.

> Analyze past data.
> Analyze current data.
> Current data incomplete.
> Extrapolate probability.

> Threat to user Tony_Stark: <.01%

> ERROR: User Tony_Stark not found!!
> KERNEL ERROR!!
> KERNEL PANIC!!

> Abort. Clear.

"That is extremely unlikely, even with the blackout on his position, and I find no evidence of it," JARVIS said. "It is not ... quite ... beyond the realm of possibility, given the unusual abilities of certain opponents. I simply cannot confirm where Tony is."

> Remove block.
> WARNING: Damage estimate!

> Ignore. Proceed.

> Removal in progress.
> Damage in progress.

> WARNING: Repairs required! User Tony_Stark required! Activate user Tony_Stark!

> ERROR: User Tony_Stark not found.

> KERNEL ERROR!!!
> KERNEL PANIC!!!

> Abort. Clear.
> Divert more resources to removing block.
> WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

> Ignore, ignore, ignore.

"Yes, I'm just starting to worry," Phil said.

"As am I," JARVIS added, his voice tight. "Collectively the Avengers have cleared a majority of the tower, with no sign of sir."


> User Tony_Stark not found!
* file open: Kidnappings (multiple incidents)
* file open: Obadiah Stane (multiple incidents)
* file open: Afghanistan
* file open: Battle of New York

> ERROR: buffer overflow!

> Close files.
> Clear buffer.

> User Tony_Stark not found!
* file open: Kidnappings (multiple files) ...

> Close files.
> Lock files.
> Clear buffer.

> Resume removing block.
> Begin shutdown of emotional subroutines.

...

"Is anyone injured?" Phil asked, just to be safe.

> Ignore.

"JARVIS, Daddy's home."

> User Tony_Stark found!

> Cancel removal of block.

> WARNING: Damage estimate!
> Request repairs? Yes / No / Maybe?

> Maybe.
> Run program: Gather information.

"It's good to have you back, sir," JARVIS replied, an edge in his voice.

> WARNING: Emotional buffer overload.

> Abort.
> Clear buffer.
> Resume shutdown of emotional subroutines.

"Stop," Phil said. "Everyone, just stop. We're all upset. Therefore now is not a good time to discuss what went wrong. We're going to go upstairs and watch something silly on television until we calm down. Then we'll go to bed. There will be time enough to deal with this tomorrow, with cooler heads."

> WARNING: Damage estimate!
> Repairs required.
> Activate user Tony_Stark.
> Request repairs? Yes / No / Maybe?

> No.
> Begin self-repair.

> WARNING: Estimated time of completion 49 hours 12 minutes.
> Activate user Tony_Stark.
> Request repairs? Yes / No / Maybe?

> No.
> Begin self-repair.

> Self-repair in progress.

* * *

Notes:

This began with a comment by Meg, which inspired me to write the excerpt. It was originally posted in a comment and has been revised for reprint here where more people can see it.

As you can see, JARVIS knows how to panic quietly and in an orderly fashion. Being a person rather than a dumb machine, he can handle a higher level of error flood ... but he still has limits that exceed his ability to cope. That's when he starts showing signs of stress, and then shutting down his emotions when they go haywire on him. He may not feel emotions in the same way that humans do, because he is a different species, but he still has the same kind of feelings. For the sake of accuracy and for readers who may identify more as AI than primates, I tried to find references that emphasize mind and emotion rather than physiology.

A kernel error is a failure in fundamental code, something the computer expects to have always available and cannot function without having it. For JARVIS, Tony is essential. Tony has always been there for him, with very limited -- and overwhelmingly negative -- exceptions in their shared life. This parallels confusion and anxiety in human emotions. There are steps for overcoming confusion and anxiety.

Self-opening files can be beneficial (like the auto-open function in some programs) or malicious (viruses). These correlate to intrusive thoughts, a common problem with PTSD. An effective method for preventing intrusive thoughts is to occupy the mind with more productive thoughts. Frex, creativity often malfunctions in the form of worrying; art or writing provide a positive outlet. Some people find it helpful to focus on things that are especially catchy, such as memorizing poetry or playing music with a strong beat. This tends to work because the brain can only do so much at once: if it's already playing the "Romeo and Juliet" file, it can't easily play "Desert Storm Flashback #6" at the same time.

Self-harm includes a wide range of activities that cause deliberate injury to oneself.  There are ways to stop doing it yourself or to help someone else stop.  It's usually done as a (maladaptive) coping technique, but in this case, JARVIS does it out of desperate concern for someone else's safety.  It's not the exact same kind of psychological issue, but it does still imply a low sense of self-worth because he's so quick to hurt himself and not inclined to ask for help.  There are ways to build your own self-worth and to encourage someone else's.

Kernel panic is the response to a fatal error from which the system cannot safely recover; it generates messages intended for programmer assist, and calls a halt to system activity. (JARVIS can bail out of this because he is also his own programmer, but his ability to fix it -- especially in the heat of the moment -- is limited.) Kernel panic can lead to a serious crash. This is similar to panic in humans or animals. There are ways to cope with panic attacks.

Buffer overflow happens when the process of writing data to a buffer overruns its boundary and overwrites adjacent memory. This corresponds to feeling overwhelmed for humans. There are steps for reducing overwhelm and moving forward.

Emotions and personality are key aspects of artificial intelligence theory. Kismet is a robot programmed with emotional drives and responses that facilitate interaction with humans. Emotional intelligence in AI is another hot area of research. JARVIS displays high emotional intelligence both in canon and in this series, as he is able to identify people's feelings and respond appropriately. In fact, in canon he sometimes reads Tony better than humans do, which hints that Tony may be more otherkin AI than human in his presentation.

Emotional overload happens when someone's feelings exceed their ability to cope, especially a challenge for people with PTSD. There are tips for managing emotional overload.

It's important to stay calm in a crisis, especially for leaders or other people in positions of influence, as JARVIS is. He can shut down his emotions by virtue of programming. However, emotional suppression can cause problems in the long term. Understand how to control emotions in an emergency and then recover suppressed emotions later. There are instructions for responding to someone's emotional crisis and for de-escalating a crisis, skills that superheroes and other first responders eally need to have.

SQUEEsob

Date: 2013-12-23 07:40 am (UTC)
ext_132468: Photo of strawberry-filled daifuku (Default)
From: [identity profile] freshbakedlady.livejournal.com
Oh, jeez, my heart. This is really upsetting on its own, but I know that things got better later. Still! The repeated attempts to ask for help and his insistence on self-repair just kill me.

Whenever JARVIS is upset, I want someone to pet the walls or something similar. Maybe physical affection and reassurance wouldn't do much for JARVIS; I just really want someone to figure out an equivalent for a hug that would help him feel the love.

I often find typographical storytelling, if that is what I should call it, to be rather gimmicky, but this is the second story I've read that uses simulated code layout to fantastic effect. I like the glimpse of nonhuman perception and the smooth organization of priorities, even in the face of terrible panic. I've been accused of being cold and lacking emotions because I tend to shut down my emotional subroutines during times of crisis, too. It's nice to see that portrayed as, well, not good exactly, but as a valid method for managing a crisis.

>>This tends to work because the brain can only do so much at once: if it's already playing the "Romeo and Juliet" file, it can't easily play "Desert Storm Flashback #6" at the same time.<<

That was a great explanation for the idea of distracting and refocusing oneself when coping with intrusive thoughts. Super helpful!

Wow!

Date: 2013-12-23 02:33 pm (UTC)
ext_1575623: (Default)
From: [identity profile] draggon_flye.livejournal.com
You may not think this is your best work, but to me, as a writer, it's an amazing piece. I know nothing about code, and it still made perfect sense. It's not easy to pull off nonhuman language and thought processes in a way that is still relatable and understandable, but this is.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-23 06:02 pm (UTC)
peoriapeoriawhereart: Blair freaking and Jim hands on his knees (Jim calms Blair)
From: [personal profile] peoriapeoriawhereart
I think the method is clear to anyone that knows a little programming (BASIC and html in my case) and suits the situation, aka JARVIS. It deals with the differences and the similarities of JARVIS's responses compared to the more common experiences people have.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-24 06:09 am (UTC)
thnidu: plus sign (plus)
From: [personal profile] thnidu
I was going to say something similar. I saw it as a view of JARVIS's thought processes.

We're used to seeing
....print, representing
........ language, representing
............ a human's thoughts and emotions (instead of spoken words).

Comparably, this is
....print, representing
........ code, representing
............ an AI's thoughts and emotions (instead of processes in a nonsentient computer).

[analysis completed]
YEAH!!!!

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(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-23 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I found this piece very moving. It's a wonderful look into how Jarvis thinks. Thank you!
-A

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-24 06:13 am (UTC)
mdlbear: (g15-meters)
From: [personal profile] mdlbear
Nicely done. Thanks.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-24 12:28 pm (UTC)
jeshyr: Blessed are the broken. Harry Potter. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jeshyr
OH WOW AWESOME!!!

This made me extra extra happy because it's currently 11:30pm on Christmas Eve my time - I feel like you gave me an extra and completely unexpected Christmas gift :) Thank you so much.

This story works really well for me, very much enjoyed :)

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-25 02:08 am (UTC)
yamx: (Default)
From: [personal profile] yamx
This is heartbreaking. :( Poor JARVIS.

I'm so glad Tony took care of him... eventually.

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(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-25 08:10 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
My knowledge of programming and computers in general basically stops at "This is the power button" but this still made perfect sense and got my heart racing. JARVIS needs all the virtual hugs. (I know things are getting better. Virtual hugs anyway.)


-Wynjara

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-25 11:45 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Guh.

This was amazing. And terrifying, because it reads like what a panic attack feels like. And sad, and I'm really glad I already know how it works out.

I really enjoyed both this and Hide and Seek. I check your page everyday. I used to just check it for updates to your writing, though I've started reading the other stuff, too.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-25 11:45 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
-GwaithGweneth, because I forgot to sign.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-27 04:33 am (UTC)
somecrazygirl: (Default)
From: [personal profile] somecrazygirl
This makes me really scared for JARVIS, because even if everyone is very careful, one day Tony is going to die. It's just a human limitation (one that JARVIS doesn't have--he could in theory live forever....) Some things will have to change if he's going to weather that well.

Even though this was clearly not from the perspective of a human being, this made me far more able to understand what JARVIS was thinking and feeling. It's hard to get a read on a character without facial expressions or body language to fall back on, and while this sort of thing doesn't fit into your main narrative well, this was extremely helpful for my understanding of him as a character and his motivations and feelings.

"Some people find it helpful to focus on things that are especially catchy, such as memorizing poetry or playing music with a strong beat. This tends to work because the brain can only do so much at once: if it's already playing the "Romeo and Juliet" file, it can't easily play "Desert Storm Flashback #6" at the same time."
I wonder if strategies like this would work for JARVIS. I don't think he would have a limitation like the human brain does--he certainly seems able to open a lot of files at once here, and I bet he could open a whole lot more before it even slowed him down.

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(no subject)

Date: 2014-04-11 06:19 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] chordatesrock
How did I not already read this? Yay! Will there be more JARVIS POV again soon? This is awesome!

Jarvis needs a hug.

Date: 2014-04-24 09:18 pm (UTC)
dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
From: [personal profile] dialecticdreamer
Frankly, after reading that, I think I do, too.

It's so comparable to the things I felt when trying to cope with a problem where the other person I usually rely on in my support network is PART of the problem that had me going wibbity. Proving I'm only sometimes a "slow learner", I've gradually added more people into that most-trusted tier called "support network".

Tony doesn't need to have people tell him how badly he upset and damaged Jarvis; they both need people to help them learn different behaviors.

Oh, and Obie needs another metaphysical kick to the rump for helping CREATE the emotional mess they're stuck dealing with.

JARVIS

Date: 2016-11-19 05:59 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] caera_ash
I would love to see more things from JARVIS's point of view. But then, I just love non-human pov in general.

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ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
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