Story: "Coming Around" (Part 1 of 14)
Apr. 9th, 2013 12:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis story is a sequel to "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys," "Saudades," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," and "Touching Moments," and "Splash."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Bruce Banner, Hulk.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Inferences of past child/domestic abuse. Current environment is safe.
Summary: Phil shows Bruce the cute pictures of the team helping Hulk clean up after the bilgesnipe fight. Bruce finds the whole idea more confusing than pleasing.
Notes: Multiplicity/Plurality. Teamwork. Friendship. Flangst. Hurt/comfort. Dysfunctional relationship dynamics. Trust issues. Safety and security. ALL THE FEELS. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Personal growth. Family of choice.
If you've been reading this series for the ageplay, well, that was the previous story. This one takes a deeper psychological approach, exploring how Bruce responds to the actions of Hulk and the team in "Splash."
A note on feedback: While it's not necessary to comment on every post I make, remember that I don't know who reads/likes things if nobody says anything. Particularly on long stories, I've discovered that I get antsy if there's nothing but crickets chirping for several posts. So it helps to give me feedback at least once, even if it's just "I like this" or "This one doesn't grab me."
Anonymous commenters: You don't have to specify exactly who you are, but it helps to have a first name or a username from some other service, so I have some idea of who's saying which and how many different "Anonymous" folks there are.
Skip to Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14.
The sequel is "Birthday Girl."
"Coming Around" Part 1
Phil sat beside Bruce's bed, watching him sleep. Bruce always seemed so small when he transformed back into his everyday self, after the boisterous mass of the Hulk. Seeing him in this soft and vulnerable state brought out the protective side of Phil. He made sure that Bruce was never alone once he passed out after a battle. If Phil couldn't keep watch himself, then he posted Steve or another Avenger instead.
Phil kept a close eye on the small screen of his Starkphone. JARVIS tracked Bruce's vital signs while he slept. The silent display informed Phil of any problems, and let him estimate when Bruce came close to waking. The numbers shifted, quickening by increments.
Bruce stirred in the soft nest of blankets. One bare arm crept out. Phil caught his hand, rubbing a thumb over the scatter of small scars. Some of them clearly came from lab accidents: short dashes left by glass chips, craters from caustic splashes. The longer lines across the palm looked different, though, earlier and more faded. One of them bisected the life line. A puckered mark halfway up the forearm suggested a compound fracture.
Defensive wounds, Phil thought, analyzing the pattern automatically. He had read what existed of Bruce's records, but that only covered things that someone had noticed and reported at the time. The brutal murder of Bruce's mother was a matter of record. What had lain hidden, however, left no mark except for the ones under Phil's fingertips. Phil inferred far more about Bruce's past than mere paperwork contained, a dark story hinted in hunched shoulders and downcast eyes, diffident speech and dogged determination to be of use. Phil traced the old, silvery scars with a delicate touch.
Bruce woke, then, and pushed himself up on his elbows. "Why do I remember everyone standing around the Other Guy with towels?" he asked with a quizzical frown.
Phil's eyebrows went up. "That's what you remember from the battle?" he asked. It was certainly a better opening than Bruce's usual Did I hurt anyone? "We fought some bilgesnipe. Hulk needed a bath, so we gave him one."
"I think ... they sprayed something, smelled like mercaptans? I've got that in my head, but no clear memory of fighting. Most of it's just a blur," Bruce said. He sat up and rubbed his head.
"Headache?" Phil asked.
"Oddly enough, no," said Bruce. "Most of the time I wake up feeling like crap, after an incident. This time, I'm just kind of tired and I feel like my head's stuffed with cotton. Hard to think, but it doesn't hurt as much."
"So that's an improvement," Phil observed. "Good. I believe Hulk was trying to be gentle with you. He'll be pleased to know that it worked." Thanks, big guy, we owe you one, Phil thought.
"Hulk isn't gentle," Bruce said instantly. He noticed that Phil was still holding his hand, and tugged it loose. Phil let him go.
* * *
Notes:
Defensive wounds most often appear on the hands or forearms, and indicate a victim resisting an attack.
Both Bruce and his mother were abused by Brian Banner, and that background plays into the formation of the Hulk. I customarily write Hulk as existing before the lab accident, which simply gave him a form of his own.
Even with limited evidence, Phil can extrapolate much of Bruce's dark past because Bruce displays many symptoms of abuse survivors. Read the list and see how much of that actually appears in canon.
Bruce's damage manifests primarily as anxiety, especially after an incident. There are ways to reduce anxiety.
Mercaptans are odiferous chemicals such as those produced by skunks. Scent and memory are tightly linked.
Bruce-and-Hulk have serious problems sharing memory, hence the gaps. Hulk is trying to fix that, and this is the first significant result of that effort. They also have problems switching. They're both working on that, but not in concert, so progress is erratic.
[To be continued in Part 2 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Bruce Banner, Hulk.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Inferences of past child/domestic abuse. Current environment is safe.
Summary: Phil shows Bruce the cute pictures of the team helping Hulk clean up after the bilgesnipe fight. Bruce finds the whole idea more confusing than pleasing.
Notes: Multiplicity/Plurality. Teamwork. Friendship. Flangst. Hurt/comfort. Dysfunctional relationship dynamics. Trust issues. Safety and security. ALL THE FEELS. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Personal growth. Family of choice.
If you've been reading this series for the ageplay, well, that was the previous story. This one takes a deeper psychological approach, exploring how Bruce responds to the actions of Hulk and the team in "Splash."
A note on feedback: While it's not necessary to comment on every post I make, remember that I don't know who reads/likes things if nobody says anything. Particularly on long stories, I've discovered that I get antsy if there's nothing but crickets chirping for several posts. So it helps to give me feedback at least once, even if it's just "I like this" or "This one doesn't grab me."
Anonymous commenters: You don't have to specify exactly who you are, but it helps to have a first name or a username from some other service, so I have some idea of who's saying which and how many different "Anonymous" folks there are.
Skip to Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14.
The sequel is "Birthday Girl."
"Coming Around" Part 1
Phil sat beside Bruce's bed, watching him sleep. Bruce always seemed so small when he transformed back into his everyday self, after the boisterous mass of the Hulk. Seeing him in this soft and vulnerable state brought out the protective side of Phil. He made sure that Bruce was never alone once he passed out after a battle. If Phil couldn't keep watch himself, then he posted Steve or another Avenger instead.
Phil kept a close eye on the small screen of his Starkphone. JARVIS tracked Bruce's vital signs while he slept. The silent display informed Phil of any problems, and let him estimate when Bruce came close to waking. The numbers shifted, quickening by increments.
Bruce stirred in the soft nest of blankets. One bare arm crept out. Phil caught his hand, rubbing a thumb over the scatter of small scars. Some of them clearly came from lab accidents: short dashes left by glass chips, craters from caustic splashes. The longer lines across the palm looked different, though, earlier and more faded. One of them bisected the life line. A puckered mark halfway up the forearm suggested a compound fracture.
Defensive wounds, Phil thought, analyzing the pattern automatically. He had read what existed of Bruce's records, but that only covered things that someone had noticed and reported at the time. The brutal murder of Bruce's mother was a matter of record. What had lain hidden, however, left no mark except for the ones under Phil's fingertips. Phil inferred far more about Bruce's past than mere paperwork contained, a dark story hinted in hunched shoulders and downcast eyes, diffident speech and dogged determination to be of use. Phil traced the old, silvery scars with a delicate touch.
Bruce woke, then, and pushed himself up on his elbows. "Why do I remember everyone standing around the Other Guy with towels?" he asked with a quizzical frown.
Phil's eyebrows went up. "That's what you remember from the battle?" he asked. It was certainly a better opening than Bruce's usual Did I hurt anyone? "We fought some bilgesnipe. Hulk needed a bath, so we gave him one."
"I think ... they sprayed something, smelled like mercaptans? I've got that in my head, but no clear memory of fighting. Most of it's just a blur," Bruce said. He sat up and rubbed his head.
"Headache?" Phil asked.
"Oddly enough, no," said Bruce. "Most of the time I wake up feeling like crap, after an incident. This time, I'm just kind of tired and I feel like my head's stuffed with cotton. Hard to think, but it doesn't hurt as much."
"So that's an improvement," Phil observed. "Good. I believe Hulk was trying to be gentle with you. He'll be pleased to know that it worked." Thanks, big guy, we owe you one, Phil thought.
"Hulk isn't gentle," Bruce said instantly. He noticed that Phil was still holding his hand, and tugged it loose. Phil let him go.
* * *
Notes:
Defensive wounds most often appear on the hands or forearms, and indicate a victim resisting an attack.
Both Bruce and his mother were abused by Brian Banner, and that background plays into the formation of the Hulk. I customarily write Hulk as existing before the lab accident, which simply gave him a form of his own.
Even with limited evidence, Phil can extrapolate much of Bruce's dark past because Bruce displays many symptoms of abuse survivors. Read the list and see how much of that actually appears in canon.
Bruce's damage manifests primarily as anxiety, especially after an incident. There are ways to reduce anxiety.
Mercaptans are odiferous chemicals such as those produced by skunks. Scent and memory are tightly linked.
Bruce-and-Hulk have serious problems sharing memory, hence the gaps. Hulk is trying to fix that, and this is the first significant result of that effort. They also have problems switching. They're both working on that, but not in concert, so progress is erratic.
[To be continued in Part 2 ...]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
You have a true gift
Date: 2013-04-09 06:05 am (UTC)Sorry, didn't finish lol
Date: 2013-04-09 06:07 am (UTC)Re: You have a true gift
Date: 2013-04-09 06:39 am (UTC)You're welcome!
>>I've followed along since "Love Is For Children" and I have never been more in love with how everything in a story comes together.<<
Wow! That's wonderful to hear. I enjoy building the character interaction in this series.
>> I've loved every sequel so far and I don't expect this one to be an exception. <<
I'm really pleased that people are following through so many different tones and characters.
>> Second, I really hope that Bruce can learn to accept the Hulk like Hulk accepts Bruce and the rest of the team <<
That's a very long walk through a thorny forest, barefoot and shirtless. But I do have ideas in that direction.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-09 06:57 am (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2013-04-09 07:03 am (UTC)Yes, the pictures come out in the next episode. Poor Bruce.
>> I really enjoyed Hulk's POV in the previous one. <<
That's good to hear. It's what I wanted to practice in that story.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-09 10:52 am (UTC)Also, I approve of Steve being first in line after Phil to supervise waking.
Jealousy
Date: 2013-04-09 03:20 pm (UTC)Re: Jealousy
Date: 2013-04-10 01:11 am (UTC)Yes, precisely. Bruce has a weirdly dichotomous view of himself and Hulk. While insisting that Hulk is someone else, Bruce still feels guilty for things that go wrong while Hulk is out. In some ways they are opposites -- mind and body, intellect and emotion -- but in others they have a great deal in common. The need to help and protect is part of that, but they express it in different ways because their other abilities diverge.
Bruce doesn't have much, so he can get very defensive about not sharing what little there is. And when it comes to traits they have in common, Bruce feels like he's being erased by the Other Guy. He doesn't, can't, see how much he's done to erase Hulk on an emotional level, nevermind attempts to reverse the accident altogether.
It wouldn't be as bad if they could see more through each other, but Bruce tends to block Hulk out of desperation and Hulk tends to block Bruce out of protection, and that hampers their ability to understand each other.
Yes...
Date: 2013-04-10 02:38 am (UTC)Poor both of them, really.
>> And possibly jealousy? "That's my place, not his!" <<
That too, and you'll see further development of this motif throughout the story.
>> Also, I approve of Steve being first in line after Phil to supervise waking. <<
Yay! Steve is strong enough to make a good protector, gentle enough to make a good comforter, and completely understands what it's like to wake up under strange and possibly stressful circumstances after passing out somewhere totally different.
Re: Yes...
Date: 2013-04-10 10:36 am (UTC)If this were a TV show, I'd need to be cuddled while watching this episode.
Re: Yes...
Date: 2013-04-10 06:31 pm (UTC)True. He is much less capable at coping with emotions. Hulk is coming around a lot faster because this is his area of expertise.
>>Hulk is an actual child; Bruce can only handle being a certain age, and started out hiding in terror on game nights.<<
While there is a child-self aspect to Hulk, that's not all he is. He is also shadow and subconscious and primal instinct. Some of those are a great deal older.
Bruce has a little flexibility in the ageplay, too. He switched up during part of "Eggshells," remember. He's gained confidence during game night in general.
They're just pretty wrecked right now because they stepped on an emotional land mine.
>>If this were a TV show, I'd need to be cuddled while watching this episode.<<
I'm flattered. I think that's right up there with people sleeping with the lights on after reading my horror.
*hugs* if you want some.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-09 12:59 pm (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2013-04-10 02:21 am (UTC)Bruce is having a severe problem with accrued data causing a blind spot so that he can't see current events clearly.
>> It's nice to see Phil's outside perspective in this, which goes along well with the teams reactions to Hulk in the last story. <<
I'm glad that's working for you. Yes, Phil is doing a far better job of figuring out what is going on, as the pieces assemble for him.
>> Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to realize things about ourselves so hopefully they can help Bruce and he won't be too resistent. <<
It's more a matter of having enough people to rock, push, and pull Bruce out of the rut he's clinging to with such dogged determination.
*chuckle* How do you get a badger out from under a hill? First remove the hill.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-09 03:21 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2013-04-10 02:04 am (UTC)I'm glad you like it.
>> Can't wait to see what happens when Bruce sees the vids of bathtime. <<
Aaaaangst.
Bruce
Date: 2013-04-09 03:23 pm (UTC)Ok, maybe I'm just weird, but I swear that sounds like a petulant toddler voice in my head.
Re: Bruce
Date: 2013-04-10 02:45 am (UTC)Ok, maybe I'm just weird, but I swear that sounds like a petulant toddler voice in my head.<<
*smile* Hulk isn't the only one who can get stuck at an earlier stage of development. Remember the gender-role scene in "Dolls and Guys" ...?
Though to be fair, Bruce isn't at his best right now, tired and woolly-headed, with Phil hounding him to deal with things that aren't his strong suit even on a good day.
Re: Bruce
Date: 2013-04-10 02:53 am (UTC)Oh I caught that.... The tone was just so strong in my head.
By the way, these characters have officially invaded my brain. I've found myself thinking up ideas for fanfic of this fanfic.
Re: Bruce
Date: 2013-04-10 03:20 am (UTC)Whiny little thing, ain't he? ;)
>> By the way, these characters have officially invaded my brain. I've found myself thinking up ideas for fanfic of this fanfic. <<
SQUEE! Go for it. I'd enjoy seeing that. If you do and you let me know, I'll link to it.
Re: Bruce
Date: 2013-04-12 03:38 am (UTC)Re: Bruce
Date: 2013-04-12 03:48 am (UTC)Re: Bruce
Date: 2013-04-12 04:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-09 07:41 pm (UTC)New story, yay!
Yes...
Date: 2013-04-10 05:22 am (UTC)Bullseye. The more they cooperate, the less it hurts and the more they can accomplish. The more they fight, the worse the damage all around.
>> Such a fascinating character, to have his shadow self manifesting as a real, separate persona! <<
Sooth. You have correctly identified another aspect that went into creating the Hulk: that which is hidden, buried, pushed aside. He really doesn't like that, and Bruce is downright pernicious about continuing to do it. But Hulk isn't just a shadow anymore: he can bust out and make Bruce face certain things. So, yeah, not really helping them get along there.
>> (and poor Bruce, that's hard, the rest of us at least get to hide and lie about it...) <<
Oh but he is trying his little buns off anyway. The problem is, you can't get away from yourself. No matter where you go, there you are, still in your own company. Both of him, in this case.
>> New story, yay! <<
I'm glad you're enjoying it.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-09 08:56 pm (UTC)Yes...
Date: 2013-04-10 04:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-10 01:54 am (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2013-04-10 05:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-13 04:49 am (UTC)You're welcome!
Date: 2013-04-13 04:56 am (UTC)I think Hulk deals more with the hidden senses, whereas most people just focus on sight and hearing.
Re: You're welcome!
Date: 2013-04-13 04:18 pm (UTC)Very right about Hulk. Well, sight and hearing too, but not for language. To catch someone safely at terminal velocity, you'd BETTER be using sight very well!
Re: You're welcome!
Date: 2013-04-14 06:06 pm (UTC)That's awesome! I love folk dancing.
>>Very right about Hulk. Well, sight and hearing too, but not for language. To catch someone safely at terminal velocity, you'd BETTER be using sight very well!<<
Yes, that was impressive. One interesting thing that almost everyone overlooks: Bruce needs glasses. Hulk doesn't.
Hulk needs to see things to hit them accurately. But I think he does the aiming with instinct and kinesthetics, rather than math the way Bruce would. Hulk has a very good grasp of his body. Bruce is kind of a klutz at full-body motion, though he must have fine manual dexterity given some of the things he does.