Story: "Hairpins" Part 5
Feb. 28th, 2014 12:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," and "Green Eggs and Hulk."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, JARVIS, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Bruce Banner.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: This story is mostly fluff, but it has some intense scenes in the middle. Highlight for details. These include dubious consent as Phil and JARVIS discuss what really happened when Agent Coulson hacked his way into Stark Tower, over which Phil has something between a flashback and a panic attack. They also discuss some of the bad things that have happened to Avengers in the past, including various flavors of abuse. If these are sensitive topics for you, please think carefully before deciding whether to read onward.
Summary: Uncle Phil needs to pick out pajamas for game night. He gets help from an unexpected direction.
Notes: Service. Shopping. Gifts. Artificial intelligence. Computers. Teamwork. Team as family. Friendship. Communication. Hope. Apologies. Forgiveness. Nonsexual ageplay. Nonsexual intimacy. Love. Tony Stark needs a hug. Bruce Banner needs a hug. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4. Skip to Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10.
"Hairpins" Part 5
Based on the correlation, several new fabric swatches appeared. Intrigued, Phil leaned forward. One sample near the top snagged his attention with ballerina and musician bears dressed in green and purple. Those colors matched Bruce-and-Hulk rather than Natasha. The thematic content was right on the mark, though.
"Close, very close," Phil muttered as he moved the musician bears up to the highest row. "Now if they just had a little more variety in the color ..."
A single image appeared in the top left corner, with a little 'Yes?' tag attached. On the white cotton, ballerina bears cavorted in outfits of pink, blue, and lavender. It was cheerful without being saccharine or overstimulating.
"Yes!" Phil crowed, tapping the tag for confirmation. "It's perfect. That is just exactly right. She'll love it." He was grinning, flush with the elation of a successful hunt, without the darker edge that his profession usually carried. It felt wonderful to use his skills for something positive instead.
From there it was a simple task to sort through the pajama companies. Phil examined the different kinds of footie pajamas available in adult sizes, then selected one that looked suitable. He wanted something comfortable, that wouldn't squeeze too tight or flap too loose, so that Natka could move easily. He placed a special order to make jammies for her out of the ballerina bear fabric. Phil imagined Natka's response. A rush of warm satisfaction filled him.
Search complete? the screen asked, followed by buttons marked (Yes) and (No).
Phil touched the (Yes) button.
Save search? said the screen. (Yes) (No)
Phil hesitated. The spy in him wanted to say 'No' and erase his tracks as usual. He knew that every bit of information created, used, and saved would carry a certain vulnerability with it. That data could be deployed in ways he might not always see coming. Therefore Phil preferred to flit through cyberspace unnoticed, no more than a ghost in the machine.
Yet the convenience of the search program and the security of the tower tempted him to say 'Yes' instead. The handler in him hated the thought of losing all that work, the fine-tuning that made the learning software more efficient the more he used it. Phil still had the harder task ahead of him, picking out pajamas for Tony. He could really use the boost from Natasha's round.
Besides, the chance of anyone hacking into Stark secure servers approached zero. That wasn't like scattering his interests all over the internet. It had been all he could do to break into the tower himself, back when he needed to reach Tony to deliver the information about Loki's attack.
Phil still recalled the dazzling firewalls that almost defeated him. He could imagine his data being safe behind those firewalls, or at least, as safe as any data could be once you let it outside the confines of your own mind. There hadn't been a single leak in his whole time here, better than SHIELD managed.
It's a risk ... but maybe, just maybe, that's worth it, Phil mused. He wavered between the two buttons, then settled on (Yes).
* * *
Notes:
See the musician bears and Natka's ballerina bears.
JARVIS in his role as search engine reminds me of this quote:
“Google can bring you back 100,000 answers. A librarian can bring you back the right one.”
― Neil Gaiman
Phil is trying to navigate the concept of pattern ease without having the experience or vocabulary to articulate the concepts of wearing ease vs. design ease. Based on canon, Natasha favors clothing with fitted, zero, or even negative ease: things that stay close or tight to her body so she can move without snagging them. But that doesn't work well for sleepwear, so Phil has to adapt accordingly. There are tips for buying your pajamas and for choosing the best family pajamas.
Working in espionage pretty much guarantees some trust issues for Phil. JARVIS has to be cautious due to how humans tend to perceive artificial intelligence. Shared vulnerability leads to deeper intimacy. You can see Phil and JARVIS delicately spiraling around each other throughout this story as they offer, consider, and accept little packets of risk and information. There are ways of building trust at work and at home.
[To be continued in Part 6 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, JARVIS, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Bruce Banner.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: This story is mostly fluff, but it has some intense scenes in the middle. Highlight for details. These include dubious consent as Phil and JARVIS discuss what really happened when Agent Coulson hacked his way into Stark Tower, over which Phil has something between a flashback and a panic attack. They also discuss some of the bad things that have happened to Avengers in the past, including various flavors of abuse. If these are sensitive topics for you, please think carefully before deciding whether to read onward.
Summary: Uncle Phil needs to pick out pajamas for game night. He gets help from an unexpected direction.
Notes: Service. Shopping. Gifts. Artificial intelligence. Computers. Teamwork. Team as family. Friendship. Communication. Hope. Apologies. Forgiveness. Nonsexual ageplay. Nonsexual intimacy. Love. Tony Stark needs a hug. Bruce Banner needs a hug. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4. Skip to Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10.
"Hairpins" Part 5
Based on the correlation, several new fabric swatches appeared. Intrigued, Phil leaned forward. One sample near the top snagged his attention with ballerina and musician bears dressed in green and purple. Those colors matched Bruce-and-Hulk rather than Natasha. The thematic content was right on the mark, though.
"Close, very close," Phil muttered as he moved the musician bears up to the highest row. "Now if they just had a little more variety in the color ..."
A single image appeared in the top left corner, with a little 'Yes?' tag attached. On the white cotton, ballerina bears cavorted in outfits of pink, blue, and lavender. It was cheerful without being saccharine or overstimulating.
"Yes!" Phil crowed, tapping the tag for confirmation. "It's perfect. That is just exactly right. She'll love it." He was grinning, flush with the elation of a successful hunt, without the darker edge that his profession usually carried. It felt wonderful to use his skills for something positive instead.
From there it was a simple task to sort through the pajama companies. Phil examined the different kinds of footie pajamas available in adult sizes, then selected one that looked suitable. He wanted something comfortable, that wouldn't squeeze too tight or flap too loose, so that Natka could move easily. He placed a special order to make jammies for her out of the ballerina bear fabric. Phil imagined Natka's response. A rush of warm satisfaction filled him.
Search complete? the screen asked, followed by buttons marked (Yes) and (No).
Phil touched the (Yes) button.
Save search? said the screen. (Yes) (No)
Phil hesitated. The spy in him wanted to say 'No' and erase his tracks as usual. He knew that every bit of information created, used, and saved would carry a certain vulnerability with it. That data could be deployed in ways he might not always see coming. Therefore Phil preferred to flit through cyberspace unnoticed, no more than a ghost in the machine.
Yet the convenience of the search program and the security of the tower tempted him to say 'Yes' instead. The handler in him hated the thought of losing all that work, the fine-tuning that made the learning software more efficient the more he used it. Phil still had the harder task ahead of him, picking out pajamas for Tony. He could really use the boost from Natasha's round.
Besides, the chance of anyone hacking into Stark secure servers approached zero. That wasn't like scattering his interests all over the internet. It had been all he could do to break into the tower himself, back when he needed to reach Tony to deliver the information about Loki's attack.
Phil still recalled the dazzling firewalls that almost defeated him. He could imagine his data being safe behind those firewalls, or at least, as safe as any data could be once you let it outside the confines of your own mind. There hadn't been a single leak in his whole time here, better than SHIELD managed.
It's a risk ... but maybe, just maybe, that's worth it, Phil mused. He wavered between the two buttons, then settled on (Yes).
* * *
Notes:
See the musician bears and Natka's ballerina bears.
JARVIS in his role as search engine reminds me of this quote:
“Google can bring you back 100,000 answers. A librarian can bring you back the right one.”
― Neil Gaiman
Phil is trying to navigate the concept of pattern ease without having the experience or vocabulary to articulate the concepts of wearing ease vs. design ease. Based on canon, Natasha favors clothing with fitted, zero, or even negative ease: things that stay close or tight to her body so she can move without snagging them. But that doesn't work well for sleepwear, so Phil has to adapt accordingly. There are tips for buying your pajamas and for choosing the best family pajamas.
Working in espionage pretty much guarantees some trust issues for Phil. JARVIS has to be cautious due to how humans tend to perceive artificial intelligence. Shared vulnerability leads to deeper intimacy. You can see Phil and JARVIS delicately spiraling around each other throughout this story as they offer, consider, and accept little packets of risk and information. There are ways of building trust at work and at home.
[To be continued in Part 6 ...]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-28 06:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-28 07:25 am (UTC)~ty
Well...
Date: 2014-03-04 04:40 am (UTC)Yes...
Date: 2014-02-28 07:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-28 08:10 am (UTC)Thanks for more tidbits.
-kellyc
Thank you!
Date: 2014-03-03 09:06 pm (UTC)Oh yes, JARVIS is definitely involved there.
>> so it'll be interesting to see how Phil and Jarvis grow to trust each other enough to offer and accept that information. It would be a hesitant dance, so the voice here is spot on. <<
Very delicate, because JARVIS is shy and Phil isn't fully aware yet. They're adorable together anyway. I'm glad you liked this early glimpse of that effect.
>> Lovely, as always, and yes, we're greedy for more, you have us trained ala Pavlov, you know. <<
*dingding* Chapter 6 is up now.
>> Thanks for more tidbits. <<
You're welcome!
Neil Gaimon quote
Date: 2014-02-28 12:31 pm (UTC)I am also looking forward to the information dance between Phil and JARVIS to take care of Tony. :)
I've gotten caught on pattern ease a few times. It's disconcerting for me every time. "Why didn't this WORK?" Oh, I forgot x...
Re: Neil Gaimon quote
Date: 2014-03-02 02:45 am (UTC)Well, JARVIS does a little bit of everything. Tony may not be much for paper books but he has electronic archives to manage. Some of the other Avengers -- especially Steve -- are paper book lovers.
>> I am also looking forward to the information dance between Phil and JARVIS to take care of Tony. :) <<
Oh yes. And there is more of JARVIS taking care of Phil, too.
>> I've gotten caught on pattern ease a few times. It's disconcerting for me every time. "Why didn't this WORK?" Oh, I forgot x... <<
Right up there with seam allowance. I think a big part of the problem is the difference between the body measurements and wearing ease, then between wearing ease and design ease. There isn't usually a diagram with the pattern to show that stuff.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-28 02:57 pm (UTC)Also, I'm studying to be a librarian, and the way you construct JARVIS and his search interface is making me daydream and wish that I could work with JARVIS myself, or do papers about the search capabilities and interface for class.
to sum up, I like the reality you create!
(no subject)
Date: 2014-03-01 07:34 am (UTC)Want ad time?
-kellyc
Hmm...
Date: 2014-03-01 08:08 am (UTC)A bunch of readers have mentioned wanting someone like Uncle Phil.
>> because I am having -feels- here <<
*hugs*
>> and I just... having someone to let me and help me chill out for a while would be damned nice, especialy if they'd go to 1/50th the effort of Phil for the team-family. <<
Sooth. There are folks like that. I have known some pretty serious nurturers, including male ones. Best place to find them? The "friend zone."
Alternatively, if you're looking for people with a high investment in friends/family of choice, check the intentional community subculture. I've borrowed some ideas out of there in terms of how to make a household work.
I have to wonder, though, if anyone is reading this series and thinking, "Gee, I wish somebody would LET me take care of them."
Re: Hmm...
Date: 2014-03-04 09:37 am (UTC)I certainly hope so. I can't guess percentages, but probably a lot? of the readers are reading this and identifying with all of the characters in various ways, to certain degrees, at different times, and I know I'm identifying with the 'kids' because I see how someone else fixes things, the solutions Uncle Phil uses to ease things along, and that those could apply to my life; I know, from my end of things, I'm not reading this as from the POV of 'caregiver' or potential one first-read-through, as objectively as someone thinking of what you said above.
-kellyc
(Am I the only one using your work as a sort of catharsis/therapy? Words are failing me, argh! Ah well, I'm brave enough to admit it)
Re: Hmm...
Date: 2014-03-07 05:04 am (UTC)That's true, people have mentioned identifying with multiple characters, although most folks seem to have one or more favorites.
>> and I know I'm identifying with the 'kids' because I see how someone else fixes things, the solutions Uncle Phil uses to ease things along, and that those could apply to my life; <<
That makes sense.
>> I know, from my end of things, I'm not reading this as from the POV of 'caregiver' or potential one first-read-through, as objectively as someone thinking of what you said above. <<
Fair enough.
>> (Am I the only one using your work as a sort of catharsis/therapy? Words are failing me, argh! Ah well, I'm brave enough to admit it) <<
You're not the only one. Quite a number of folks have mentioned doing this. I'm glad it helps.
Thank you!
Date: 2014-03-16 08:38 pm (UTC)That's a popular response. I'm glad you find them so appealing.
>> Also, I'm studying to be a librarian, <<
Yay!
>> and the way you construct JARVIS and his search interface is making me daydream and wish that I could work with JARVIS myself, or do papers about the search capabilities and interface for class. <<
What I described is a notch or two above current offerings at the automated level, and of course the Intelligent Search option would require genuine AI. (I have a lot of friends who use me as their Intelligent Search google.) It's something I'd like to see developed. I think that working with an AI friend would be cool.
>> to sum up, I like the reality you create! <<
I'm happy to hear that.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-28 04:00 pm (UTC)Yes...
Date: 2014-03-03 10:20 pm (UTC)First comment on your work
Date: 2014-02-28 06:54 pm (UTC)That tentative waver between and , that subtle moment of trust just FLOORED me. Absolutely brilliantly understated and equally profound.
Thank you.
Re: First comment on your work
Date: 2014-02-28 06:55 pm (UTC)That subtle waver between YES? and NO? --- Wow, time to go re-read from the beginning.
Re: First comment on your work
Date: 2014-03-03 08:32 pm (UTC)I'm glad you felt moved to respond. Feedback is always welcome, but not required.
>> That tentative waver between YES and NO, that subtle moment of trust just FLOORED me. Absolutely brilliantly understated and equally profound. <<
Yay! I'm glad it worked for you. Trust can be a very fragile and tentative thing, especially in the beginning. It's harder for Phil in this case because he hasn't yet realized exactly who he's dealing with. But his openness here sets the stage for much of what follows. JARVIS, like Phil, really likes it when people trust him.
>> Thank you. <<
You're welcome.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-28 09:20 pm (UTC)Santosha
"Hairpins"
Date: 2014-03-01 05:36 am (UTC)That search engine doesn't just OUTSTRIP anything on the public market, it absolutely SHATTERS the standards!
Not because of the number of "possible right answers", and how quickly they're focusing, but because of how effectively and completely the WRONG answers aren't coming up. That's Jarvis waving a big "are you paying enough attention?" flag, right there. And even with the "possible right answers", I see shadings of JARVIS' choices of what to display even as Phil selects or rejects items.
So far, Jarvis hasn't "spoken", but he is definitely fully present and interacting. I'm looking forward to the moment Phil "meets the man behind the curtain". Eagerly. Impatiently. Happily.
Absolutely HOPING for more, and soon
Re: "Hairpins"
Date: 2014-03-03 07:20 am (UTC)Yes, there have!
>> That search engine doesn't just OUTSTRIP anything on the public market, it absolutely SHATTERS the standards! <<
Starktech for the win.
Hammertech ... twenty years.
>> Not because of the number of "possible right answers", and how quickly they're focusing, but because of how effectively and completely the WRONG answers aren't coming up. That's Jarvis waving a big "are you paying enough attention?" flag, right there. <<
When he knows someone well enough, he can filter out wrong answers quite soon. There just aren't a lot of people who interact with him enough to do that superbly in personal rather than business contexts.
>> And even with the "possible right answers", I see shadings of JARVIS' choices of what to display even as Phil selects or rejects items. <<
Yes, that's true too. The better JARVIS knows someone, the more nuanced his replies become.
>> So far, Jarvis hasn't "spoken", but he is definitely fully present and interacting. <<
Sooth.
>> I'm looking forward to the moment Phil "meets the man behind the curtain". Eagerly. Impatiently. Happily. <<
Yay! I'm glad you're so invested in the story.
>> Absolutely HOPING for more, and soon. <<
The new installment is now up.
Yay!
Date: 2014-03-03 06:40 am (UTC)I'm glad this is working.
>> One thing about having the stories out of order is that we know what their relationship is like later on, but we don't know how long it's going to take J. to let on that he's more than just super!Google, or how Phil will figure it out. <<
Yes, that's true.
Really anyone who understands AI could have clocked JARVIS as a person very quickly, because of how well he does so many different things. Most people would probably just suspect -- as Happy did -- a human on the other end of an intercom.
>> I see why you named it "Hairpins" because I'm watching for anything that might be a tiny clue. :-) <<
Hee! JARVIS really has been doing this for a while. I think he has admired Phil for quite some time, so it's no suprise that it goes from service to friendship.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-03-01 03:42 pm (UTC)Yay!
Date: 2014-03-03 06:26 am (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed this portrayal so much. It's a subtle but important part of his personality.
>> and I too can't wait to see what he's going to get for Tony! <<
Technically it's already on display in the first story, but the way Phil and JARVIS get there matters a lot. It's not a direct route.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-03-02 10:21 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2014-03-08 03:53 am (UTC)Details upon re-reading
Date: 2014-03-30 07:58 pm (UTC)I think it's fascinating that the protectiveness isn't for HIMSELF; Phil is worried that the data - which applies to Natasha/Natka - could be misused. Saving said data could put HER at risk, in a miniscule way.
That protectiveness makes me love him, quite a lot.
-Sarah-
Re: Details upon re-reading
Date: 2014-03-31 05:54 am (UTC)It's both, really. Everything someone does online creates a certain virtual imprint of who they are and what interests them, which can be used to wreak havoc; and every bit of personal information about someone else can also be exploited. But Phil -- like most heroes -- tends to worry more about other people's safety than his own. Entrusting Natasha's data to JARVIS is a bigger sign of trust than Phil's own trail of breadcrumbs.
Frankly, just coming into the tower puts people very much at the mercy of JARVIS, and most of them never realize how far. He is that delicate with how he handles other people's personal information. He has it. He just doesn't wave it around like a stick of firewood, nor allow anyone else to do so.
Living there is ... pretty much like becoming an organ in someone else's body. Which also takes a while for folks to notice. As the series progresses, you can see the social proprioception developing not just among the team in the field, but between them and JARVIS at home. They begin to act like they're part of each other, in ways that subtly reflect the Tony/JARVIS pairing that comprises Iron Man.
That's different than what has happened before, because Happy and Rhodey and Pepper just don't mesh that way.
>> That protectiveness makes me love him, quite a lot. <<
Yay!
(no subject)
Date: 2014-07-03 05:42 pm (UTC)(Yes)
<3
(no subject)
Date: 2014-07-03 05:43 pm (UTC)Aww...
Date: 2014-07-04 06:34 am (UTC)