Story: "Hairpins" Part 27
Apr. 21st, 2014 12:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," and "Green Eggs and Hulk."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, JARVIS, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Bruce Banner.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: This story is mostly fluff, but it has some intense scenes in the middle. Highlight for details. These include dubious consent as Phil and JARVIS discuss what really happened when Agent Coulson hacked his way into Stark Tower, over which Phil has something between a flashback and a panic attack. They also discuss some of the bad things that have happened to Avengers in the past, including various flavors of abuse. If these are sensitive topics for you, please think carefully before deciding whether to read onward.
Summary: Uncle Phil needs to pick out pajamas for game night. He gets help from an unexpected direction.
Notes: Service. Shopping. Gifts. Artificial intelligence. Computers. Teamwork. Team as family. Friendship. Communication. Hope. Apologies. Forgiveness. Nonsexual ageplay. Nonsexual intimacy. Love. Tony Stark needs a hug. Bruce Banner needs a hug. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26. Skip to Part 28, Part 29, Part 30.
"Hairpins" Part 27
At first Phil had intended to stabilize game night with Clint and Natasha, whom he knew well enough try new things without risking the relationship. Rocky though life had gotten over the last several months, they had a solid foundation of trust on which he could build. With the other Avengers, Phil didn't have that yet, and their various backgrounds made it difficult to create a connection. Their reliance on him, as on each other, was still tentative and fragile.
Tony asking to join, and then bringing Bruce, had complicated matters before Phil quite felt prepared to level up the exercise. It had worked out beautifully so far, though, with only a few minor wobbles. Already they were growing closer. Phil was grateful for that progress.
That left just one more Avenger.
Phil sighed. He felt conflicted about that. He'd grown up admiring Captain America, and learned everything possible about him. Beyond the public image, he later delved into the classified details. Phil knew far less about Steve Rogers as a private individual, though. Not much had been recorded prior to Project Rebirth, just some bare-bones biographical data. Phil yearned to know more. He wanted to reach out and help when Steve was so obviously hurting, flung out of time into an unfamiliar and lonely life. But he wasn't sure what would really help, and what would just make matters worse.
Phil had always hoped that SHIELD and Stark Industries would find Captain America, but never really imagined getting to meet him in person. That had left Phil with all his mental defenses down. As a result, the initial encounter had been painfully awkward for both of them. Now they needed to move past that, somehow, in order to work together as a team.
"Hope," Phil murmured. He opened a fresh page on the Starkpad, tapping the Intelligent Search square. "This time, I don't want to get caught off guard."
"May I be of assistance?" JARVIS offered.
"Yes, please," Phil said, smiling. He had suspected that command would ping JARVIS for attention. The formality of the phrasing reminded Phil how easily JARVIS could hide in plain sight, pretending to be an ordinary program. "I want to find pajamas for Steve, just in case."
The search page scrolled to the side, making space to display Steve's measurements. Phil flicked his fingers across the body map the way he'd seen Tony do. The model spun in place to give him a back view of Steve's impressive shoulders. From the look of things, standard measurements wouldn't account for some of the places where Steve carried his bulk.
"That must make fitting shirts a challenge," Phil said. No wonder Steve wandered around in things that stretched taut over his muscles. It couldn't be very comfortable.
The screen brought up examples of Steve's clothing purchases. "Sir has attempted to direct tower residents toward several reliable tailors," JARVIS said. "Unfortunately Steve seems reluctant to avail himself of such services, or indeed, to make any noncritical purchases at all."
Steve had grown up poor, then joined the army, neither of which gave him much opportunity to learn what fit him or what he liked. SHIELD had provided Steve with living space, but it was a hovel. Phil felt outraged on his behalf. It's lucky that Tony managed to convince Steve to move into the tower, Phil thought. Getting Steve to take advantage of expanded resources ... might take more work.
* * *
Notes:
The nature of trust is that it entails a leap of faith, which enables people to take greater risks with each other. Trusting more leads to higher benefits, particularly in collaborative projects.
Self-awareness includes a distinction between public self and private self. Different parts of the personality are known to self and others. This can affect relationships. It's important to know your true self. While Steve doesn't like to make a spectacle of himself, he is quite consistent between public and private life. But Phil doesn't want to risk stepping on hidden emotional landmines, because he knows that people can be very different in public and in private.
Loneliness is a feeling of dearth when someone wants more companionship and/or intimacy than they have. It can affect heroes and other famous people, because fame has drawbacks. Steve feels lonely because he's lost everyone he knew, which hurts so much that it's taking him for him to heal enough even to try reaching out to new people. Fury really cut his legs out from under him. Loneliness is a widespread problem today. There are ways to overcome it.
Mental defenses can be used in positive or negative ways. This helps people resist persuasion and reframe negative thoughts. In The Avengers we saw Phil, who is normally calm and competent, quietly but thoroughly drop his brain at Steve's feet when they first met. It has taken a while for Phil to get himself back into working order. If he can't say no to Steve, that's not good for either of them -- but there's always going to be a soft spot there, because Phil grew himself around the ideal of Captain America.
Choosing clothes that look good depends on body type. There are guides for such things as t-shirts and suits. This project thoughtfully uses customized t-shirt sizes to accommodate different body shapes. In the movies, Steve often appears in clothes that are too small, because that makes him look bigger. In the context of this series, he does it because he doesn't know any better -- he has body dysphoria, he's not used to having enough money to buy things, and he won't ask for help this early. He's never really learned to pick for fit, fashion, and personal expression because it wasn't an option. That gets better in time.
[To be continued in Part 28 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, JARVIS, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Bruce Banner.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: This story is mostly fluff, but it has some intense scenes in the middle. Highlight for details. These include dubious consent as Phil and JARVIS discuss what really happened when Agent Coulson hacked his way into Stark Tower, over which Phil has something between a flashback and a panic attack. They also discuss some of the bad things that have happened to Avengers in the past, including various flavors of abuse. If these are sensitive topics for you, please think carefully before deciding whether to read onward.
Summary: Uncle Phil needs to pick out pajamas for game night. He gets help from an unexpected direction.
Notes: Service. Shopping. Gifts. Artificial intelligence. Computers. Teamwork. Team as family. Friendship. Communication. Hope. Apologies. Forgiveness. Nonsexual ageplay. Nonsexual intimacy. Love. Tony Stark needs a hug. Bruce Banner needs a hug. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26. Skip to Part 28, Part 29, Part 30.
"Hairpins" Part 27
At first Phil had intended to stabilize game night with Clint and Natasha, whom he knew well enough try new things without risking the relationship. Rocky though life had gotten over the last several months, they had a solid foundation of trust on which he could build. With the other Avengers, Phil didn't have that yet, and their various backgrounds made it difficult to create a connection. Their reliance on him, as on each other, was still tentative and fragile.
Tony asking to join, and then bringing Bruce, had complicated matters before Phil quite felt prepared to level up the exercise. It had worked out beautifully so far, though, with only a few minor wobbles. Already they were growing closer. Phil was grateful for that progress.
That left just one more Avenger.
Phil sighed. He felt conflicted about that. He'd grown up admiring Captain America, and learned everything possible about him. Beyond the public image, he later delved into the classified details. Phil knew far less about Steve Rogers as a private individual, though. Not much had been recorded prior to Project Rebirth, just some bare-bones biographical data. Phil yearned to know more. He wanted to reach out and help when Steve was so obviously hurting, flung out of time into an unfamiliar and lonely life. But he wasn't sure what would really help, and what would just make matters worse.
Phil had always hoped that SHIELD and Stark Industries would find Captain America, but never really imagined getting to meet him in person. That had left Phil with all his mental defenses down. As a result, the initial encounter had been painfully awkward for both of them. Now they needed to move past that, somehow, in order to work together as a team.
"Hope," Phil murmured. He opened a fresh page on the Starkpad, tapping the Intelligent Search square. "This time, I don't want to get caught off guard."
"May I be of assistance?" JARVIS offered.
"Yes, please," Phil said, smiling. He had suspected that command would ping JARVIS for attention. The formality of the phrasing reminded Phil how easily JARVIS could hide in plain sight, pretending to be an ordinary program. "I want to find pajamas for Steve, just in case."
The search page scrolled to the side, making space to display Steve's measurements. Phil flicked his fingers across the body map the way he'd seen Tony do. The model spun in place to give him a back view of Steve's impressive shoulders. From the look of things, standard measurements wouldn't account for some of the places where Steve carried his bulk.
"That must make fitting shirts a challenge," Phil said. No wonder Steve wandered around in things that stretched taut over his muscles. It couldn't be very comfortable.
The screen brought up examples of Steve's clothing purchases. "Sir has attempted to direct tower residents toward several reliable tailors," JARVIS said. "Unfortunately Steve seems reluctant to avail himself of such services, or indeed, to make any noncritical purchases at all."
Steve had grown up poor, then joined the army, neither of which gave him much opportunity to learn what fit him or what he liked. SHIELD had provided Steve with living space, but it was a hovel. Phil felt outraged on his behalf. It's lucky that Tony managed to convince Steve to move into the tower, Phil thought. Getting Steve to take advantage of expanded resources ... might take more work.
* * *
Notes:
The nature of trust is that it entails a leap of faith, which enables people to take greater risks with each other. Trusting more leads to higher benefits, particularly in collaborative projects.
Self-awareness includes a distinction between public self and private self. Different parts of the personality are known to self and others. This can affect relationships. It's important to know your true self. While Steve doesn't like to make a spectacle of himself, he is quite consistent between public and private life. But Phil doesn't want to risk stepping on hidden emotional landmines, because he knows that people can be very different in public and in private.
Loneliness is a feeling of dearth when someone wants more companionship and/or intimacy than they have. It can affect heroes and other famous people, because fame has drawbacks. Steve feels lonely because he's lost everyone he knew, which hurts so much that it's taking him for him to heal enough even to try reaching out to new people. Fury really cut his legs out from under him. Loneliness is a widespread problem today. There are ways to overcome it.
Mental defenses can be used in positive or negative ways. This helps people resist persuasion and reframe negative thoughts. In The Avengers we saw Phil, who is normally calm and competent, quietly but thoroughly drop his brain at Steve's feet when they first met. It has taken a while for Phil to get himself back into working order. If he can't say no to Steve, that's not good for either of them -- but there's always going to be a soft spot there, because Phil grew himself around the ideal of Captain America.
Choosing clothes that look good depends on body type. There are guides for such things as t-shirts and suits. This project thoughtfully uses customized t-shirt sizes to accommodate different body shapes. In the movies, Steve often appears in clothes that are too small, because that makes him look bigger. In the context of this series, he does it because he doesn't know any better -- he has body dysphoria, he's not used to having enough money to buy things, and he won't ask for help this early. He's never really learned to pick for fit, fashion, and personal expression because it wasn't an option. That gets better in time.
[To be continued in Part 28 ...]
(no subject)
Date: 2014-04-21 08:30 pm (UTC)this wouldn't get anywhere near dressing to express yourself, but it would keep Steve from being as lost and they have experts in this available, well they did have experts before the Alien attack on New York. Natasha knows all about clothes as costume to fit in a particular group.
BRILLIANT idea!
Date: 2014-04-21 08:35 pm (UTC)Sadly, I don't think enough of the individual agents were allowed to spend time with Steve while he was awake and could make at least tentative friendships. Right now, he's relying more on the visual cues: SHIELD uniform, likely to be trustworthy, US armed forces, likely to be trustworthy... what the HECK is she wearing, and why is her hair both fuscia and lemon yellow?
None of those things make someone inherently more or less trustworthy, and because SHIELD hasn't really put any effort into helping Steve socialize (that we've seen), it implies to me at least that they really don't care if he settles in properly, just whether he'll follow the orders he's given.
Re: BRILLIANT idea!
Date: 2014-04-22 01:11 pm (UTC)What we do see results from him being kept so close, he has a subtle knowledge of what is and isn't normal for SHIELD. He is primed to observe from only seeing a subset. He's learned some things just from being out and about; he knows that white men can slouch about, wear ball caps and even a big slab like himself disappears. He'd have had a harder time doing that in the late 1940s, without finding a bunch of college boys to hide among (you know, men properly fed since childhood).
Steve is very bad at following orders once he has reason to question them. He's part cat.
Re: BRILLIANT idea!
Date: 2014-04-23 06:53 am (UTC)I agree. But Steve was never intended as a weapon. The army just looked at that project and saw what they wanted to see, and SHIELD made the same mistake. *chuckle* Except for Phil, he knew exactly what he was looking at.
>> What we do see results from him being kept so close, he has a subtle knowledge of what is and isn't normal for SHIELD. He is primed to observe from only seeing a subset. <<
That's true, and it helped him in The Winter Soldier when he needed to distinguish friend from foe.
>> He's learned some things just from being out and about; he knows that white men can slouch about, wear ball caps and even a big slab like himself disappears. He'd have had a harder time doing that in the late 1940s, without finding a bunch of college boys to hide among (you know, men properly fed since childhood). <<
Good point.
>> Steve is very bad at following orders once he has reason to question them. He's part cat. <<
*laugh* It's funny how people don't see that coming.
Re: BRILLIANT idea!
Date: 2014-04-23 11:19 am (UTC)*Tony calls out for a really large paper bag to test this*
"We ordered a soldier."
Um, yeah, about that.
"Captain Rogers." How Col. Phillips reduced the number of orders Steve questioned.
Re: BRILLIANT idea!
Date: 2014-04-24 01:03 am (UTC)*Tony calls out for a really large paper bag to test this* <<
Betty would go for laser pointer.
>> "We ordered a soldier."
Um, yeah, about that. <<
Fortunately for them, Steve really is polyoptimized and can do that too. But he's never going to be quite as mindless as some people think.
>> "Captain Rogers." How Col. Phillips reduced the number of orders Steve questioned. <<
Heh, yeah. That'll do.
Re: BRILLIANT idea!
Date: 2014-04-24 01:37 am (UTC)Re: BRILLIANT idea!
Date: 2014-04-24 03:58 am (UTC)"I got him to run part way up the wall."
Betty is going to Troll Tony by having physics equations screen printed on Steve's tshirts.
Michelle Obama:Talk about STEAM.
Re: BRILLIANT idea!
Date: 2014-04-24 04:12 am (UTC)Re: BRILLIANT idea!
Date: 2014-04-23 06:09 am (UTC)If only. Phil does; SHIELD, not so much.
>> Sadly, I don't think enough of the individual agents were allowed to spend time with Steve while he was awake and could make at least tentative friendships. <<
I agree. He was deliberately isolated -- which is a tactic used in abuse and torture.
>> Right now, he's relying more on the visual cues: SHIELD uniform, likely to be trustworthy, US armed forces, likely to be trustworthy... what the HECK is she wearing, and why is her hair both fuscia and lemon yellow? <<
That makes sense.
>> None of those things make someone inherently more or less trustworthy, and because SHIELD hasn't really put any effort into helping Steve socialize (that we've seen), it implies to me at least that they really don't care if he settles in properly, just whether he'll follow the orders he's given. <<
Exactly. He's just a tool to most of them.
I don't like monolithic anything, so I've laid in some other bit characters at SHIELD who are more sympathetic and helpful. But in canon, it's rough.
Thoughts
Date: 2014-04-23 06:06 am (UTC)Yes. Steve isn't the first strayling that Phil has picked up. He knows to check for things like whether the person has personal supplies. Game night is more than just play -- it subtly trains people to accept things that he gives them.
>> I am surprised that SHIELD didn't send Steve out with a personal shopper, someone who would explain clothes as camoflauge. This is how to dress older, this is how to dress younger, this is what a working class man in his 20's would wear, this is what a young professional wears to work. This is clothes for a night club with a young affluent audience. This is what college age wear at college, at leisure at parties. Don't try to figure out what high schoolers wear. Now if you wanted to look like a pervert .... <<
That's what they would have done if they wanted to empower Steve, help him fit in, and start the recovery process. Instead they acted out of control, and it went badly for everyone.
>> This is what to wear to look like FBI, really its fun to let them catch the blame for everything. <<
*laugh* Yeah.
>> this wouldn't get anywhere near dressing to express yourself, but it would keep Steve from being as lost and they have experts in this available, well they did have experts before the Alien attack on New York. <<
It would have been nicer.
>> Natasha knows all about clothes as costume to fit in a particular group. <<
Primarily for women, not much help to Steve.
On the other hoof, I think he knows more about dress mode than most people give him credit for. If he really needed it ... well, he spent months on a stage tour. Theatre people are theatre people. That's more than enough time to get him acculturated even if he never learned to dance worth a damn. But he won't necessarily show the cards he's holding until he needs them.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-04-23 11:30 am (UTC)"Rosie, no tripping him."
"Sally, it's, he's, did you see him?"
"I saw a woman, and she will know, and there will never be a body found."
"Aw!"
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-22 06:42 pm (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-22 06:59 pm (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-23 12:56 am (UTC)It also shows how he fights the Cold War and the hotter conflicts.