Story: "Hide and Seek" Part 49
Dec. 2nd, 2013 12:06 am![[personal profile]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis story is a sequel to "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," and "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," and "No Winter Lasts Forever."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS, Bucky Barnes, Virginia "Pepper" Potts.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Inferences of past child abuse, mind control, and other torture. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: Bucky has a bad day when his memory won't boot up quite right. This makes other people stressed out too. Attempts to help are partially successful, but then the team dynamics go severely pear-shaped.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Sibling relationships. Fix-it. Teamwork. Vulgar language. Flangst. Hurt/Comfort. Fear of loss. Friendship. Confusion. Memory loss. Nonsexual ageplay. Making up for lost time. Self-harm. Tony!whump. Tony Stark has a heart. Tony doesn't like being handed things. Howard Stark's A+ parenting. Games. Trust issues. Consent. Safety and security. Artificial intelligence. Food issues. Multiplicity/Plurality. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Yoga. Communication. Personal growth. Cooking. Americana. Family of choice. Feels. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38, Part 39, Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45, Part 46, Part 47, Part 48. Skip to Part 51, Part 52, Part 53, Part 54.
"Hide and Seek" Part 49
The bag of tokens rattled as Phil set it aside. "This is for the auction versions of the game, which work better with several people. I think we'll start with something simpler."
"Just playing with the blocks?" Tony asked.
"No, there's an easy two-person version of Bausack towers," Phil said. He poured out the blocks.
"Those are some seriously weird blocks, Uncle Phil," said Tony. The floor was littered with the usual cubes, rectangular solids, and cylinders. There were also notched blocks, L and X shapes, donuts, and rings. Then came the truly unusual things such as spheres, cones, knobs, chess-like pieces, and even less recognizable shapes. Tony twirled a Christmas tree in his nimble fingers.
Phil chuckled. "Well, that's what makes it challenging. I give you a block, and you have to fit it on your tower. Then you give me one, and I put it on mine. The winner is the person whose tower stays up the longest." He picked up one of the largest rectangles and offered it to Tony.
Tony dropped the Christmas tree and skittered backwards, putting his hands behind his back. "I, I don't like being handed things," he stammered.
"I'm sorry, Tony. You told me that before; I should have remembered," Phil said. This wasn't the first time that had come up, but it wasn't consistent. Tony had asked Phil to hand him a shield to prop up part of the particle accelerator, while working on the new core for the arc reactor. Then later, when Phil tried to give him information about the Tesseract, Tony had resisted. Tony had sent Phil to bring him the Starkbars, and then balked over the blocks. It was harder to remember an erratic quirk than a consistent one.
Tony shrugged. "Most people don't. I can remind them."
Maybe Tony feels safer about taking things if he asks than if the other person offers, Phil mused, or maybe he's more comfortable with things that already belong to him than things that come from someone else. I just don't have enough information to understand this completely.
"I don't want to ignore something that's important to you," Phil said. "I'd like to hear more about this, if you feel like sharing."
"People hand me things that hurt," Tony said, his lower lip trembling. "Sometimes. On accident. Or on purpose. Or they hit."
"We have rules about no hitting, and no being mean," Phil reminded him. He wondered if the chevron scars on Tony's hands came from a ruler after all.
Tony paused, breath a little ragged, then continued. "In a workshop, things can be ... hot, or sharp, in places and ... not everyone notices."
Especially not Howard Stark in a fit of drunk engineering, Phil suspected bitterly.
"Well, that's not good," Phil said. "People should be more careful."
"I learned to be really really careful," Tony said earnestly. "I wanted to be good, but ... it's not always enough." He rubbed his left thumb over the palm of his right hand. "Sometimes people mean it. This one time, in college, my girlfriend Sunset handed me a gadget. I scratched my hand on the case and woke up in Taiwan chained to a chair." His age presentation wavered a bit, as it sometimes did when he sorted through issues that spanned years.
That was a devastatingly clever way of drugging Tony -- appeal to his curiosity, Phil thought.
"No wonder you're so cautious," Phil said. "I've seen you take things from Pepper, though." She had passed Tony the Tesseract data, in fact.
"Pepper's smart and careful. She would never hand me anything dangerous," Tony said at once.
The knot in Phil's chest eased a little at that. At least he's had someone he could trust that way, Phil thought. His fingers stirred the pile of blocks.
"Can we just ... go back to playing? Please?" Tony said softly.
"Of course. Here, I've got an idea," Phil said. He began picking up the square blocks, rubbing thoroughly over each and then setting it aside. "Let's sort these first. I'll make sure they're all safe."
Tony scooted closer, but he still wouldn't meet Phil's eyes. "You don't have to ..."
"I want to. These are wooden blocks; splinters aren't impossible," Phil said. He reached out, very gently, and tilted Tony's chin up. The beard rasped against Phil's fingers. "Tony, it's just as important for other people to be careful with you as it is for you to be careful about handling things safely. I want you to see that I take this seriously. I promise never to hand you anything harmful. Okay?"
"... 'kay," Tony said, his brown eyes swimming with unshed tears.
Phil sorted through the entire pile of blocks one at a time, looking carefully at each and smoothing his hands over them. He went through the easy, ordinary shapes first. Then he checked the more elaborate ones.
And damned if he didn't actually find a splinter, on one Christmas tree.
"See, if it weren't for your hard-learned caution, that splinter could have ended up in somebody's finger," Phil said to Tony. Phil set the block on the coffee table. "I'll file that smooth later. Meanwhile, we've got all these other blocks to play with. You want to build something with me?"
"We could still play towers," Tony said. He nudged one of the base rectangles toward Phil.
"That sounds like fun," Phil said as he set the block in front of himself. Then he picked up a similar piece and put it in front of Tony.
Tony positioned the block with care. Then he rolled a long thin cylinder to Phil.
Phil set it up on one end of his rectangle. He rolled a short fat cylinder to Tony.
Tony put the cylinder atop his base. He started to smile as he looked over the other pieces. Then he gave Phil one of the spindles.
Phil placed it on the other end of his block. It would be ideal for holding the pieces that had holes through them, and worse than useless for anything else. He picked up a cube --
-- and Tony slipped his fingers under Phil's, delicately taking the block from his hand.
Best. Game. Ever.
* * *
Notes:
Bausack towers is a stacking block game. Sac Noir is another edition. Here is how Tony's tower looks, and this is Phil's tower. Rules for various games may be found online; these are really sets of game pieces that can be used in many different ways.
Tony Doesn't Like Being Handed Things is actually a searchable tag on AO3. People have posited various headcanons why Tony has this quirk. Given that Tony had a lot of crap happen to him even before he became Iron Man, and he doesn't dent easily, I figured that people must have hurt him that way often enough to make him wary of it. Child abuse shatters trust in childhood, which can linger into adulthood. Tony's erratic behavior is a sign of that, but it does vary because he has a few people whom he tries to trust. Here's a reference for the shield-as-prop scene in Iron Man 2, where Tony asked for Phil's help. There are ways to regain trust after emotional abuse and work through trust issues.
Sunset Bain is one of Tony's many girlfriends. She is specified as an undergraduate girlfriend in canon. Tony went to MIT at 15, so unless she waited until late in his undergraduate term, she was molesting a minor. Given that Tony was impatient and horny at that age, and Sunset was evil, I'm presenting her as one of the women who had sex with him before he reached legal age of consent.
Trustworthiness is a crucial aspect of parenting, important for raising trustworthy kids. Phil wants to do better for Tony than people have in the past. There are simple and complex steps to earn someone's trust. I was intrigued to see that "strength of conviction" forms part of the second stage support structure, the values on which trust rests. Remember what Phil said about Loki lacking conviction -- without a solid structure, Loki couldn't field effective plans -- and Phil read that straight from his bearing without knowing in detail that Loki neither trusted himself nor had his family's trust at that point in time. Phil is a great spy because he sees whatever is there.
Toy safety includes such things as checking for splinters or other minor hazards. That said, wood is actually a great material for toys.
[To be continued in Part 50 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS, Bucky Barnes, Virginia "Pepper" Potts.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Inferences of past child abuse, mind control, and other torture. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: Bucky has a bad day when his memory won't boot up quite right. This makes other people stressed out too. Attempts to help are partially successful, but then the team dynamics go severely pear-shaped.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Sibling relationships. Fix-it. Teamwork. Vulgar language. Flangst. Hurt/Comfort. Fear of loss. Friendship. Confusion. Memory loss. Nonsexual ageplay. Making up for lost time. Self-harm. Tony!whump. Tony Stark has a heart. Tony doesn't like being handed things. Howard Stark's A+ parenting. Games. Trust issues. Consent. Safety and security. Artificial intelligence. Food issues. Multiplicity/Plurality. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Yoga. Communication. Personal growth. Cooking. Americana. Family of choice. Feels. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38, Part 39, Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45, Part 46, Part 47, Part 48. Skip to Part 51, Part 52, Part 53, Part 54.
"Hide and Seek" Part 49
The bag of tokens rattled as Phil set it aside. "This is for the auction versions of the game, which work better with several people. I think we'll start with something simpler."
"Just playing with the blocks?" Tony asked.
"No, there's an easy two-person version of Bausack towers," Phil said. He poured out the blocks.
"Those are some seriously weird blocks, Uncle Phil," said Tony. The floor was littered with the usual cubes, rectangular solids, and cylinders. There were also notched blocks, L and X shapes, donuts, and rings. Then came the truly unusual things such as spheres, cones, knobs, chess-like pieces, and even less recognizable shapes. Tony twirled a Christmas tree in his nimble fingers.
Phil chuckled. "Well, that's what makes it challenging. I give you a block, and you have to fit it on your tower. Then you give me one, and I put it on mine. The winner is the person whose tower stays up the longest." He picked up one of the largest rectangles and offered it to Tony.
Tony dropped the Christmas tree and skittered backwards, putting his hands behind his back. "I, I don't like being handed things," he stammered.
"I'm sorry, Tony. You told me that before; I should have remembered," Phil said. This wasn't the first time that had come up, but it wasn't consistent. Tony had asked Phil to hand him a shield to prop up part of the particle accelerator, while working on the new core for the arc reactor. Then later, when Phil tried to give him information about the Tesseract, Tony had resisted. Tony had sent Phil to bring him the Starkbars, and then balked over the blocks. It was harder to remember an erratic quirk than a consistent one.
Tony shrugged. "Most people don't. I can remind them."
Maybe Tony feels safer about taking things if he asks than if the other person offers, Phil mused, or maybe he's more comfortable with things that already belong to him than things that come from someone else. I just don't have enough information to understand this completely.
"I don't want to ignore something that's important to you," Phil said. "I'd like to hear more about this, if you feel like sharing."
"People hand me things that hurt," Tony said, his lower lip trembling. "Sometimes. On accident. Or on purpose. Or they hit."
"We have rules about no hitting, and no being mean," Phil reminded him. He wondered if the chevron scars on Tony's hands came from a ruler after all.
Tony paused, breath a little ragged, then continued. "In a workshop, things can be ... hot, or sharp, in places and ... not everyone notices."
Especially not Howard Stark in a fit of drunk engineering, Phil suspected bitterly.
"Well, that's not good," Phil said. "People should be more careful."
"I learned to be really really careful," Tony said earnestly. "I wanted to be good, but ... it's not always enough." He rubbed his left thumb over the palm of his right hand. "Sometimes people mean it. This one time, in college, my girlfriend Sunset handed me a gadget. I scratched my hand on the case and woke up in Taiwan chained to a chair." His age presentation wavered a bit, as it sometimes did when he sorted through issues that spanned years.
That was a devastatingly clever way of drugging Tony -- appeal to his curiosity, Phil thought.
"No wonder you're so cautious," Phil said. "I've seen you take things from Pepper, though." She had passed Tony the Tesseract data, in fact.
"Pepper's smart and careful. She would never hand me anything dangerous," Tony said at once.
The knot in Phil's chest eased a little at that. At least he's had someone he could trust that way, Phil thought. His fingers stirred the pile of blocks.
"Can we just ... go back to playing? Please?" Tony said softly.
"Of course. Here, I've got an idea," Phil said. He began picking up the square blocks, rubbing thoroughly over each and then setting it aside. "Let's sort these first. I'll make sure they're all safe."
Tony scooted closer, but he still wouldn't meet Phil's eyes. "You don't have to ..."
"I want to. These are wooden blocks; splinters aren't impossible," Phil said. He reached out, very gently, and tilted Tony's chin up. The beard rasped against Phil's fingers. "Tony, it's just as important for other people to be careful with you as it is for you to be careful about handling things safely. I want you to see that I take this seriously. I promise never to hand you anything harmful. Okay?"
"... 'kay," Tony said, his brown eyes swimming with unshed tears.
Phil sorted through the entire pile of blocks one at a time, looking carefully at each and smoothing his hands over them. He went through the easy, ordinary shapes first. Then he checked the more elaborate ones.
And damned if he didn't actually find a splinter, on one Christmas tree.
"See, if it weren't for your hard-learned caution, that splinter could have ended up in somebody's finger," Phil said to Tony. Phil set the block on the coffee table. "I'll file that smooth later. Meanwhile, we've got all these other blocks to play with. You want to build something with me?"
"We could still play towers," Tony said. He nudged one of the base rectangles toward Phil.
"That sounds like fun," Phil said as he set the block in front of himself. Then he picked up a similar piece and put it in front of Tony.
Tony positioned the block with care. Then he rolled a long thin cylinder to Phil.
Phil set it up on one end of his rectangle. He rolled a short fat cylinder to Tony.
Tony put the cylinder atop his base. He started to smile as he looked over the other pieces. Then he gave Phil one of the spindles.
Phil placed it on the other end of his block. It would be ideal for holding the pieces that had holes through them, and worse than useless for anything else. He picked up a cube --
-- and Tony slipped his fingers under Phil's, delicately taking the block from his hand.
Best. Game. Ever.
* * *
Notes:
Bausack towers is a stacking block game. Sac Noir is another edition. Here is how Tony's tower looks, and this is Phil's tower. Rules for various games may be found online; these are really sets of game pieces that can be used in many different ways.
Tony Doesn't Like Being Handed Things is actually a searchable tag on AO3. People have posited various headcanons why Tony has this quirk. Given that Tony had a lot of crap happen to him even before he became Iron Man, and he doesn't dent easily, I figured that people must have hurt him that way often enough to make him wary of it. Child abuse shatters trust in childhood, which can linger into adulthood. Tony's erratic behavior is a sign of that, but it does vary because he has a few people whom he tries to trust. Here's a reference for the shield-as-prop scene in Iron Man 2, where Tony asked for Phil's help. There are ways to regain trust after emotional abuse and work through trust issues.
Sunset Bain is one of Tony's many girlfriends. She is specified as an undergraduate girlfriend in canon. Tony went to MIT at 15, so unless she waited until late in his undergraduate term, she was molesting a minor. Given that Tony was impatient and horny at that age, and Sunset was evil, I'm presenting her as one of the women who had sex with him before he reached legal age of consent.
Trustworthiness is a crucial aspect of parenting, important for raising trustworthy kids. Phil wants to do better for Tony than people have in the past. There are simple and complex steps to earn someone's trust. I was intrigued to see that "strength of conviction" forms part of the second stage support structure, the values on which trust rests. Remember what Phil said about Loki lacking conviction -- without a solid structure, Loki couldn't field effective plans -- and Phil read that straight from his bearing without knowing in detail that Loki neither trusted himself nor had his family's trust at that point in time. Phil is a great spy because he sees whatever is there.
Toy safety includes such things as checking for splinters or other minor hazards. That said, wood is actually a great material for toys.
[To be continued in Part 50 ...]
This chapter
Date: 2013-12-02 12:56 pm (UTC)Re: This chapter
Date: 2013-12-02 10:38 pm (UTC)Thank you.
>> People often mention Tony doesn't like being handed things, but seldom do they explore why. And they certainly don't do such a well-written job of it! <<
I'm glad you found this so satisfying. One thing that often disappoints me both in film and in writing is that people take huge things and make them tiny. They'll throw in an abusive background just for angst, and not stop to think how it would affect someone. Think about how often people hand each other things; that "little" quirk of Tony's would be a major challenge in everyday life for anyone who wasn't rich enough to get his way 99% of the time.
Me, I like to dig into why things are the way they are, and what it means. So in fanfic, I take something like "Tony doesn't like being handed things," figure out what could have caused that, and then show how it would affect the character in new stories. Derive back, extrapolate forward.
>> I love this series and I hope you keep up your great work!!! <<
I have another story started, though it's nowhere near finished.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-02 01:01 pm (UTC)(I especially noted the scene in Avengers you point out, where Tony won't take the file from Phil but immediately accepts the exact same file from Pepper seconds later, even though it's still not something he *wants* to deal with (and she's had no chance to examine it closely or anything). Clearly he wasn't just being obstinate before, but there's a real issue there with Phil that isn't with Pepper.)
So, Phil decided to play an engineering game with Tony Stark. *grins* Do I detect an intention to help Tony's self confidence by making sure he wins without having to *let* him win?
Thoughts
Date: 2013-12-28 10:40 pm (UTC)Yay! I'm happy to hear that.
>> I always wondered if Tony's problem with being handed things comes from literal bad experiences being handed things, or if it's a wider cause about trust and the personal bubble. <<
I think it started with being handed hazardous things, but expanded beyond that because so many people have betrayed Tony that it just makes him generally cautious.
>> (I especially noted the scene in Avengers you point out, where Tony won't take the file from Phil but immediately accepts the exact same file from Pepper seconds later, even though it's still not something he *wants* to deal with (and she's had no chance to examine it closely or anything). Clearly he wasn't just being obstinate before, but there's a real issue there with Phil that isn't with Pepper.) <<
Tony trusts Pepper more than he trusts Phil, although Phil very quickly got through some of Tony's defenses in a way that most people just don't. Also worth considering is that most fingertraps will trigger on either the first or second person who touches them. It's very difficult to make something hit a third person. Something handed from Phil to Pepper to Tony would therefore have a much lower risk factor than something handed directly from Phil to Tony, or that Tony picked up himself. Pepper is also smart, careful, and quick; she wouldn't knowingly hand something dangerous to Tony, but she wouldn't necessarily be obvious about checking it.
>> So, Phil decided to play an engineering game with Tony Stark. *grins* Do I detect an intention to help Tony's self confidence by making sure he wins without having to *let* him win? <<
It's not quite that specific, more a matter of Phil wanting to play a game that Tony would like and be good at. It was still meant to help Tony's confidence and his mood though.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-03 12:17 am (UTC)Thank you for addressing Tony's age with his college age 'girlfriends'
That is one of the things that gets to me, you have a vulnerable teenager with no sort of supervision or support socializing with young women who are not at an age to make the best decisions. And seriously, I know teen-tony had to be adorkable, but he was still JAILBAIT
However instead of letting Phil have her, I'd let Pepper, Tasha and Betty have a crack at her
(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-03 12:19 am (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2013-12-14 07:34 am (UTC)Tony needs the skin contact and attention. He needs to learn how to ask for those things, too.
>> And this is a great game Tony Carter to play with his Mighty Uncle :) <<
I thought it would appeal to Tony for the tactile and engineering aspects, as well as the sheer fun. I love Bausack towers.
>> Thank you for addressing Tony's age with his college age 'girlfriends' <<
You're welcome. It's hinted in canon, although not made explicit. I figured that more detail would make it more useful in-story.
I doubt they were girlfriends though -- Tony probably took what he could get and favored one night stands. Sunset is an early example of his ineptitude at relationships, and may have turned him off the idea.
>> That is one of the things that gets to me, you have a vulnerable teenager with no sort of supervision or support socializing with young women who are not at an age to make the best decisions. And seriously, I know teen-tony had to be adorkable, but he was still JAILBAIT <<
Yes, exactly. It's a fraught issue because Tony's background gave him no ability to make good personal decisions. He had a body that was sexually mature; he wasn't a child anymore, and he had strong sexual urges. Pressuring people to quash those for years on end is ... not necessarily healthy. But it's also hard for young people to think clearly about such things, which makes it easy for older people to take advantage of them. Even if both parties are eager participants, it's not always a good idea. You can tell teenagers not to fuck, but honestly, most of them are going to fuck. The laws are variable. The outcomes are variable. It's a mess at best and a disaster at worst.
In this case, Tony was 15 and an emotional abuse survivor; Sunset was several years older and using sex deliberately to cloud his mind so she could take advantage of him on a business level and do physical harm like having him kidnapped. Dooooom. That has doubtless contributed to Tony's complicated and not altogether functional attitudes about sex.
>> However instead of letting Phil have her, I'd let Pepper, Tasha and Betty have a crack at her. <<
*cackle* Great minds think alike.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-03 05:30 am (UTC)~shadynaiad
Yay!
Date: 2013-12-04 10:55 am (UTC)Phil is patient and caring. He knows this will pay off ...
>> and little Tony trusting Phil there at the end. Cute. :) <<
... because when you put in time like this, you get results, and that spreads to other parts of life. Tony will be healthier and happier if he can learn to trust his teamfamily more.
Though gods help anyone who ever again hands Tony something harmful.
Re: Yay!
Date: 2013-12-04 03:09 pm (UTC)Re: Yay!
Date: 2013-12-14 06:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-03 11:31 pm (UTC)Wow!
Date: 2013-12-13 09:10 am (UTC)Re: Wow!
Date: 2013-12-13 10:38 pm (UTC)Not as a puzzle for Tony, but maybe in finding new shapes he can build with it.
Ah ha. Thorleif's SOMA page, one of the external links on the wikipage, has enormous amounts of material about the cube, including figures that can (and cannot) be built with it, and lots and lots of theoretical and mathematical analysis that I think Tony would love. For example, http://www.fam-bundgaard.dk/SOMA/FIGURES/D
And actually there are some challenges. On that page, for example:
(There's an illustration of this in the top part of the page. I tried to put it in Google photos so i could link from here, but I haven't figured that one out and I'm too tired to spend more time on it now.)
I'm also trying to imagine JARVIS's reactions to the SOMA cube. He might analyze and solve everything about it in seconds—or not—but I'm thinking of him and (especially) Tony, talking about it and spinning hypotheses and displays faster than (almost?) anyone else there can follow. And JARVIS on game night with, say, Bucky: "I think you might enjoy building this shape."
(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-06 02:32 am (UTC)-songspinner9
(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-06 05:06 pm (UTC)0_o
Date: 2013-12-13 07:36 am (UTC)Thanks for speaking up in favor of a positive environment.
Re: 0_o
Date: 2013-12-14 01:17 am (UTC)Re: 0_o
Date: 2013-12-14 02:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-14 12:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-14 01:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-14 02:20 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-14 10:47 am (UTC)P.S. I should have added rhetorical-tags to my ponderings. ;-p
Well...
Date: 2013-12-14 02:53 am (UTC)I suspect your balance is better.
Re: Well...
Date: 2013-12-14 10:49 am (UTC)P.S. I should have added rhetorical-tags to my ponderings. ;-p
Thoughts
Date: 2013-12-13 08:43 am (UTC)I'm glad you found it so moving.
>> I could have used Phil today...a collague totally laughed off my discomfort with derogatory language regarding mental illness (in front of the entire staff meeting) as being "oversensitive" <<
That is not okay.
>> instead of doing the courteous thing, which would have been to ask for clarification or understanding so myself or other wouldn't be hurt. <<
Yeah, it would be nice if people cared enough to avoid hurting each other. When someone says they have a problem, any version of "No you don't" is unacceptable.
>> What Phil does is perfect. <<
Asking for clarification and looking for ways around the limitation are usually helpful, yes.
>> I wish he could come train certain people around here... <<
If only! But at least the model is there for inspiration.
I have learned a LOT of problem-solving from my characters.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-06 01:08 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2013-12-13 07:44 am (UTC)