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ysabetwordsmithThis story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk," and "kintsukuroi."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20. Skip to Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 21
"Let's try some worksheets next. You always get a better handle on your feelings once you have a chance to write them down," Dr. Harmon suggests.
"I don't have my binder," Phil says. He feels hopelessly adrift.
"You can use mine. Most of your pages are copies of my materials anyway," Dr. Harmon says. He goes to his bookcase and pulls down several volumes. Then he makes a small stack of pages and passes that to Phil.
Just looking at the stack makes Phil feel better. This is familiar. This is good. He can put his feelings and thoughts on paper, and then they will make more sense. It won't fix everything, but it will help. Phil picks up a pen and starts writing.
It takes twice as long to fill out the worksheets as it did to tell the story in the first place. As Phil finishes each page, he passes it to Dr. Harmon. Sometimes they talk a little about the results. Now and then Dr. Harmon asks a question or points out what needs clarification. But mostly, Phil just writes.
By the time he finishes, he has his head on mostly straight again. He still feels like crap. He knows it will take a while to process everything. But at least now he has it all in order. Phil sits back with a sigh of relief.
"Thanks," he says. "I really needed that."
"You're welcome," Dr. Harmon says. He chuckles a little. "You're the only person I know who favors paperwork as a coping method, but I'm really glad you've found something that works so well for you."
Phil decks the pages into a neat stack and fastens them with a paperclip. He'll file them properly when he gets home. Now he runs his fingers over the stack, lining it up with the edge of the desk. Only then does he look up.
"I didn't mean to hurt him that badly," Phil says in a low voice. "It's just -- he was hitting on my sister, he was going to break her heart on purpose, I had to do something. Then it was like -- like when I'm sparring, and I see an opening. The target lit up and I hit it. I didn't think he'd try to kill himself!"
"As I said before, nobody else is to blame for anyone's suicide attempt. That's on Patrick, not on you. What is your responsibility is what you said to him," Dr. Harmon says. "You know from being a victim of bullying yourself, how much words can hurt, how much damage they can do -- even if the person saying them doesn't realize how cruel they are. You made a very astute comparison to your karate skill, and you should think about that further."
Phil frowns. He really meant it just as a comparison of the opportunistic nature of the attack. "Think about it how?"
"You're smart, Phil, but more than that, you are exceptionally perceptive," Dr. Harmon says. "By exceptionally I mean that I've heard you make observations that would elude most of my colleagues. You notice things that other people just don't. That can be a great gift, or a terrible curse, depending on how you choose to use it."
* * *
Notes:
Identifying emotions is important, including negative ones. Writing down your feelings can help you let go of them.
There are ways to improve your emotional intelligence and help children with theirs.
Organizing things can make you feel happier. (Taken too far, it can become obsessive-compulsive disorder.) Follow the steps to become more organized.
Worksheets on emotions can help figure out what you are feeling. They may illustrate or measure emotions, identify feelings, check in or check out, or explore solutions.
Worksheets on thoughts can help clarify the beliefs and processes in your mind. They may cover cognitive distortions and how to fix them, negative thoughts, events and beliefs, perception and interpretation, problem-solving, or goals.
When people are hurting, they often hurt other people. Hurting someone unintentionally is still bad, but doing it on purpose is worse. If you hurt someone, you should make amends.
[To be continued in Part 22 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20. Skip to Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 21
"Let's try some worksheets next. You always get a better handle on your feelings once you have a chance to write them down," Dr. Harmon suggests.
"I don't have my binder," Phil says. He feels hopelessly adrift.
"You can use mine. Most of your pages are copies of my materials anyway," Dr. Harmon says. He goes to his bookcase and pulls down several volumes. Then he makes a small stack of pages and passes that to Phil.
Just looking at the stack makes Phil feel better. This is familiar. This is good. He can put his feelings and thoughts on paper, and then they will make more sense. It won't fix everything, but it will help. Phil picks up a pen and starts writing.
It takes twice as long to fill out the worksheets as it did to tell the story in the first place. As Phil finishes each page, he passes it to Dr. Harmon. Sometimes they talk a little about the results. Now and then Dr. Harmon asks a question or points out what needs clarification. But mostly, Phil just writes.
By the time he finishes, he has his head on mostly straight again. He still feels like crap. He knows it will take a while to process everything. But at least now he has it all in order. Phil sits back with a sigh of relief.
"Thanks," he says. "I really needed that."
"You're welcome," Dr. Harmon says. He chuckles a little. "You're the only person I know who favors paperwork as a coping method, but I'm really glad you've found something that works so well for you."
Phil decks the pages into a neat stack and fastens them with a paperclip. He'll file them properly when he gets home. Now he runs his fingers over the stack, lining it up with the edge of the desk. Only then does he look up.
"I didn't mean to hurt him that badly," Phil says in a low voice. "It's just -- he was hitting on my sister, he was going to break her heart on purpose, I had to do something. Then it was like -- like when I'm sparring, and I see an opening. The target lit up and I hit it. I didn't think he'd try to kill himself!"
"As I said before, nobody else is to blame for anyone's suicide attempt. That's on Patrick, not on you. What is your responsibility is what you said to him," Dr. Harmon says. "You know from being a victim of bullying yourself, how much words can hurt, how much damage they can do -- even if the person saying them doesn't realize how cruel they are. You made a very astute comparison to your karate skill, and you should think about that further."
Phil frowns. He really meant it just as a comparison of the opportunistic nature of the attack. "Think about it how?"
"You're smart, Phil, but more than that, you are exceptionally perceptive," Dr. Harmon says. "By exceptionally I mean that I've heard you make observations that would elude most of my colleagues. You notice things that other people just don't. That can be a great gift, or a terrible curse, depending on how you choose to use it."
* * *
Notes:
Identifying emotions is important, including negative ones. Writing down your feelings can help you let go of them.
There are ways to improve your emotional intelligence and help children with theirs.
Organizing things can make you feel happier. (Taken too far, it can become obsessive-compulsive disorder.) Follow the steps to become more organized.
Worksheets on emotions can help figure out what you are feeling. They may illustrate or measure emotions, identify feelings, check in or check out, or explore solutions.
Worksheets on thoughts can help clarify the beliefs and processes in your mind. They may cover cognitive distortions and how to fix them, negative thoughts, events and beliefs, perception and interpretation, problem-solving, or goals.
When people are hurting, they often hurt other people. Hurting someone unintentionally is still bad, but doing it on purpose is worse. If you hurt someone, you should make amends.
[To be continued in Part 22 ...]
Re: I love the therapist!
Date: 2014-07-19 12:36 am (UTC)Yes, that matters a lot -- to have someone notice you're doing something that could cause problems, and suggest a way to avoid future incidents, is very useful.
>> When he /gets/ that concept they were hinting around, he and Dr. H. can talk about it, work out the scope and details as a process. <<
There is a little more followup in the next chapter, to show Phil where and how to start working on this issue.
>> But that needs to be separate from the "oops, I broke someone," conversation for more reasons than just time limits on sessions. <<
Most of this is work that Phil is going to have to do for himself. He just needs to be pointed in the right direction. He's already got the materials and the background.
Re: I love the therapist!
Date: 2014-08-06 02:41 am (UTC)hm. It's part of martial arts, certainly, and certainly a powerful skill in its own right.
I'm going to chew on this for a bit.
Re: I love the therapist!
Date: 2014-08-28 10:16 pm (UTC)hm. It's part of martial arts, certainly, and certainly a powerful skill in its own right. <<
Goes all the way up to being able to see where someone is aiming before the bullets hit, which is a skill that some martial arts masters in our world have cited.
Re: I love the therapist!
Date: 2014-09-05 02:04 am (UTC)Re: I love the therapist!
Date: 2014-09-08 05:28 am (UTC)