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ysabetwordsmithThis story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk," and "kintsukuroi."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10. Skip to Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 11
True to her word, Flip's mother teaches him about getting by gracefully. She begins with the story of their family. "For a long time, your father and I were just friends," Mom says, leafing through a photo album as they sit on the couch. "He asked for favors constantly, and he never hesitated to say no if I hinted that I wanted something in return. It annoyed me, so I tried to shoo him away."
"Did it ever work?" Flip asks.
"No, he just asked me what was wrong," Mom says. Her fingertips linger on a snapshot of them as a young couple. "I told him that it made me uncomfortable when people wanted me to do things for them, because I always felt pressured to agree. He just said okay, and started trying to figure out my way of doing things. I learned some about his approach too. He taught me a lot about how to say no. Then one day, I realized that I couldn't imagine my life without him, and I knew that I was in love with him."
"It's nice to remember Dad," says Flip. He turned a page in the album. "I still miss him."
"Yes, it is. We'll always miss him, but what is loved is remembered and what is remembered lives," says Mom. "I may not have your father anymore, but I do have the skills he taught me. You remind me of him in many ways. You can be very assertive about pursuing what you want. There are subtler approaches, though, and a family or person with both skill sets has an advantage over anybody with just one."
Flip nods. He already understands the value in having plenty of tools in the box. "It's harder, though, when people argue."
"Everything worth doing is hard, sweetie," Mom says. "As long as you fight fair, you can usually work things out in the end. The key is to keep disagreements from turning into real fights in the first place."
"I don't know how," Flip said.
"It's like a slope. Little things irritate people, they start griping at each other, then yelling, and before you know it the fists are flying," Mom says, tumbling her hands together. "Just like when an avalanche rolls down a mountainside, it's very difficult to stop at the bottom -- but very easy at the top. So you watch people closely and listen to what they say. Then when they start to get cranky, you give just the tiniest nudge in the right place to bump them back into a safer mindframe."
Flip thinks about avalanches on television, and how Sensei Takenaka says to deflect an attack rather than trying to stop it cold. "How do you nudge people?"
"Well, that part is as much art as science," Mom says. "It helps to know their personality and things they like. Some people like to talk about themselves, and if you ask a question, they tend to pounce on it. Some people have a favorite sport or hobby where you can easily divert a conversation. Plus you need to know how to solve problems; if someone complains about anything that's straightforward to fix, then you can just fix it and avoid the clash that way."
* * *
Notes:
Flip's mother is demisexual, which can make life complicated.
Ask/Hint Culture is one way of describing different cultural expectations about favors. Each subculture has its own techniques and expectations. Flip's father was Ask, his mother is Hint, and Flip is bifocal. This will come in tremendously useful in the future, dealing with people like Bruce who won't ask for what they need and Tony who badgers people relentlessly.
You never really stop missing someone who's died, but there are ways to work through the grief. For most people, memories such as a photo album are helpful.
Preventing fights is a useful skill. Know how to walk away from a fight or intervene to prevent violence.
[To be continued in Part 12 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10. Skip to Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 11
True to her word, Flip's mother teaches him about getting by gracefully. She begins with the story of their family. "For a long time, your father and I were just friends," Mom says, leafing through a photo album as they sit on the couch. "He asked for favors constantly, and he never hesitated to say no if I hinted that I wanted something in return. It annoyed me, so I tried to shoo him away."
"Did it ever work?" Flip asks.
"No, he just asked me what was wrong," Mom says. Her fingertips linger on a snapshot of them as a young couple. "I told him that it made me uncomfortable when people wanted me to do things for them, because I always felt pressured to agree. He just said okay, and started trying to figure out my way of doing things. I learned some about his approach too. He taught me a lot about how to say no. Then one day, I realized that I couldn't imagine my life without him, and I knew that I was in love with him."
"It's nice to remember Dad," says Flip. He turned a page in the album. "I still miss him."
"Yes, it is. We'll always miss him, but what is loved is remembered and what is remembered lives," says Mom. "I may not have your father anymore, but I do have the skills he taught me. You remind me of him in many ways. You can be very assertive about pursuing what you want. There are subtler approaches, though, and a family or person with both skill sets has an advantage over anybody with just one."
Flip nods. He already understands the value in having plenty of tools in the box. "It's harder, though, when people argue."
"Everything worth doing is hard, sweetie," Mom says. "As long as you fight fair, you can usually work things out in the end. The key is to keep disagreements from turning into real fights in the first place."
"I don't know how," Flip said.
"It's like a slope. Little things irritate people, they start griping at each other, then yelling, and before you know it the fists are flying," Mom says, tumbling her hands together. "Just like when an avalanche rolls down a mountainside, it's very difficult to stop at the bottom -- but very easy at the top. So you watch people closely and listen to what they say. Then when they start to get cranky, you give just the tiniest nudge in the right place to bump them back into a safer mindframe."
Flip thinks about avalanches on television, and how Sensei Takenaka says to deflect an attack rather than trying to stop it cold. "How do you nudge people?"
"Well, that part is as much art as science," Mom says. "It helps to know their personality and things they like. Some people like to talk about themselves, and if you ask a question, they tend to pounce on it. Some people have a favorite sport or hobby where you can easily divert a conversation. Plus you need to know how to solve problems; if someone complains about anything that's straightforward to fix, then you can just fix it and avoid the clash that way."
* * *
Notes:
Flip's mother is demisexual, which can make life complicated.
Ask/Hint Culture is one way of describing different cultural expectations about favors. Each subculture has its own techniques and expectations. Flip's father was Ask, his mother is Hint, and Flip is bifocal. This will come in tremendously useful in the future, dealing with people like Bruce who won't ask for what they need and Tony who badgers people relentlessly.
You never really stop missing someone who's died, but there are ways to work through the grief. For most people, memories such as a photo album are helpful.
Preventing fights is a useful skill. Know how to walk away from a fight or intervene to prevent violence.
[To be continued in Part 12 ...]
Charming
Date: 2014-06-23 05:26 am (UTC)Well written and engrossing.
Thanks for posting this!
Re: Charming
Date: 2014-06-23 05:43 am (UTC)Yes, exactly. She's a very subtle woman and she has tremendous influence over how he turns out.
>> It's sweet, and domestic, and wonderfully /approachable/ as a scene, even though the entire /content/ is very, very tough going, especially for an eight-year-old. <<
Yay! Poor Flip is getting into territory where he really needs training, for social reasons and because his own potential is growing in, but he's not altogether ready for it emotionally. That's going to cause some bumps down the line.
The family album is there because Flip's mother knows how hard this is for him, and she's trying to give him something to hold onto.
>> Well written and engrossing. <<
Thank you!
(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-23 03:42 pm (UTC)Have a good day, Kaayadei
Thank you!
Date: 2014-06-25 05:43 am (UTC)I'm happy to hear that.
>> It's interesting to read how Flip became the very competent adult. And he is a very helpful child. <<
I'm glad it works for you! Most people show early glimmers of who they will become, and that's what I wanted to explore here.
>> I also enjoy the links you provide. I don't always read the articles, but every couple of posts there is a topic I want to know more about, like today the article about demisexuality. <<
Yay! The links are there for people to poke into whatever interests them. Different people will follow different ones and that's okay.
I had no idea that Flip's mother was demisexual until she told that story, and I thought, hey this sounds familiar.