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ysabetwordsmithThis story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk," and "kintsukuroi."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12. Skip to Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 13
"So how can I get people to do what I want?" Flip says.
"First you have to know yourself and your own goals. Only then can you nudge people in the right direction," Mom says. "You have to pay attention to other people so you'll understand what might work with each person, because they'll respond to different things. One might give in to logic and another to emotion. One might be moved by money, another by favors."
"I can make a list. I'm good at lists. I can write down the different things that I hear from people, and the ways to move them around," Flip says.
"You could do that. Just remember to take care with anything you write down, so it doesn't cause trouble," Mom says.
Alexa was the one who taught him to keep secrets, a long time ago now, when he was only six and learned the truth about Santa Claus. "I'll be careful," Flip promises. He knows how important secrets can be. Sometimes it's more fun to know them than to tell them.
"That brings us to the last part. You need to know the difference between manipulation and persuasion," Mom says. "Influence can be used for good or bad reasons. You can help people or hurt them. The more you know about making people do what you want, the more responsibility you have to handle them gently, not roughly. Never push harder than you have to. Never mess with people just for fun."
"It's like karate again, and appropriate force," Flip says.
"Yes, it is," Mom says. She wraps an arm around Flip and hugs him close. "You know, that karate class was a great idea of yours. I was pretty dubious at first. I thought it might encourage you to get into more fights. Instead it's making you think about avoiding fights. I'm glad I was wrong about that. I'm really proud of you for looking at the peacemaking side of martial arts."
Flip shrugs, feeling pleased but also a little embarrassed. "I don't like fighting. I wish people would just leave us alone, but they won't. So I have to figure out some way to make them."
"Get up, and get your jacket. Let's go to the mall," Mom says, patting him on the shoulder. "I'll give you a few tips on people-watching."
They go to the mall. Alexa doesn't mind tagging along. Mom buys a carton of pretzel sticks for everyone to share. They sit at a little wire table in a corner of the gallery, overlooking the first floor of the mall. People go up and down the escalators. Mom quietly points out things to Flip -- how couples walk closer together than friends, how happy families turn toward each other, how young men saunter like they own the place, how women use their pocketbooks to fend off the crowd.
People are fascinating, Flip realizes. He hasn't paid quite so much attention to that before. He wishes that he could draw, but he's no good at that. Instead he concentrates on observing and remembering as much as he can. It feels good, like scratching an itch he didn't even know was there. I want to learn more.
* * *
Notes:
Knowing yourself is an important life skill. You can do this by thinking about the different parts of yourself and by asking questions. Your goals are also relevant. Understand how to find and set goals.
Keeping secrets is a key part of discretion, so you should know how to keep a secret. The issue of Santa Claus is a big one for some families. Think about how to deal with it gracefully. Flip's family subscribes to the idea that Santa Claus is the spirit of Christmas whom anyone can manifest. Of course in the Marvelverse canon, Santa Claus turns out to be real after all...
Emotional intelligence can be used to manipulate people in positive ways. There are tips for manipulating people and making them like or love you. Positive manipulation is sometimes called persuasion, and there's a fine line between persuasion and negative manipulation. It mainly comes down to your intent and the outcome. There are ways of persuading someone to do things for you. Influencing people is another aspect. You should know how to influence people, even if you don't have authority.
People watching is a good way to learn about how folks interact. You can turn it into a game. You can also use it to establish your personal brand. Here are some tips on how to begin people watching.
[To be continued in Part 14 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12. Skip to Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 13
"So how can I get people to do what I want?" Flip says.
"First you have to know yourself and your own goals. Only then can you nudge people in the right direction," Mom says. "You have to pay attention to other people so you'll understand what might work with each person, because they'll respond to different things. One might give in to logic and another to emotion. One might be moved by money, another by favors."
"I can make a list. I'm good at lists. I can write down the different things that I hear from people, and the ways to move them around," Flip says.
"You could do that. Just remember to take care with anything you write down, so it doesn't cause trouble," Mom says.
Alexa was the one who taught him to keep secrets, a long time ago now, when he was only six and learned the truth about Santa Claus. "I'll be careful," Flip promises. He knows how important secrets can be. Sometimes it's more fun to know them than to tell them.
"That brings us to the last part. You need to know the difference between manipulation and persuasion," Mom says. "Influence can be used for good or bad reasons. You can help people or hurt them. The more you know about making people do what you want, the more responsibility you have to handle them gently, not roughly. Never push harder than you have to. Never mess with people just for fun."
"It's like karate again, and appropriate force," Flip says.
"Yes, it is," Mom says. She wraps an arm around Flip and hugs him close. "You know, that karate class was a great idea of yours. I was pretty dubious at first. I thought it might encourage you to get into more fights. Instead it's making you think about avoiding fights. I'm glad I was wrong about that. I'm really proud of you for looking at the peacemaking side of martial arts."
Flip shrugs, feeling pleased but also a little embarrassed. "I don't like fighting. I wish people would just leave us alone, but they won't. So I have to figure out some way to make them."
"Get up, and get your jacket. Let's go to the mall," Mom says, patting him on the shoulder. "I'll give you a few tips on people-watching."
They go to the mall. Alexa doesn't mind tagging along. Mom buys a carton of pretzel sticks for everyone to share. They sit at a little wire table in a corner of the gallery, overlooking the first floor of the mall. People go up and down the escalators. Mom quietly points out things to Flip -- how couples walk closer together than friends, how happy families turn toward each other, how young men saunter like they own the place, how women use their pocketbooks to fend off the crowd.
People are fascinating, Flip realizes. He hasn't paid quite so much attention to that before. He wishes that he could draw, but he's no good at that. Instead he concentrates on observing and remembering as much as he can. It feels good, like scratching an itch he didn't even know was there. I want to learn more.
* * *
Notes:
Knowing yourself is an important life skill. You can do this by thinking about the different parts of yourself and by asking questions. Your goals are also relevant. Understand how to find and set goals.
Keeping secrets is a key part of discretion, so you should know how to keep a secret. The issue of Santa Claus is a big one for some families. Think about how to deal with it gracefully. Flip's family subscribes to the idea that Santa Claus is the spirit of Christmas whom anyone can manifest. Of course in the Marvelverse canon, Santa Claus turns out to be real after all...
Emotional intelligence can be used to manipulate people in positive ways. There are tips for manipulating people and making them like or love you. Positive manipulation is sometimes called persuasion, and there's a fine line between persuasion and negative manipulation. It mainly comes down to your intent and the outcome. There are ways of persuading someone to do things for you. Influencing people is another aspect. You should know how to influence people, even if you don't have authority.
People watching is a good way to learn about how folks interact. You can turn it into a game. You can also use it to establish your personal brand. Here are some tips on how to begin people watching.
[To be continued in Part 14 ...]
(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-27 06:35 pm (UTC)Now there's an awesome thing for a parent to say. Along multiple dimensions.
Phil's mom is the best.
Yes...
Date: 2014-06-30 05:45 am (UTC)Now there's an awesome thing for a parent to say. Along multiple dimensions. <<
I feel that it's an essential part of good parenting. Everyone is wrong sometimes. Honorable people admit it and make up for it. Besides, when you suspect disaster and it fails to materialize, that's a good thing.
>> Phil's mom is the best. <<
Yep. Saving the world one hero-to-be at a time.