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ysabetwordsmithThis story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk," and "kintsukuroi."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11. Skip to Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 12
"I like fixing things," Flip says. He isn't all that great with tools, but the idea appeals to him. "The bullies just like breaking things, though."
"Well, they lead very sad lives," Mom says. "Most bullies feel like they don't have enough choice in what happens to them. They think that hurting people makes them more powerful. Instead it just shows how little control they really have."
"So how does that help? How can I make them stop without hitting back?" Phil asks. He clings to the photo album, its images of happy family comforting.
"Sometimes if you can coax them into talking about what upsets them, they never get around to throwing the first punch. Sympathize with them; make them feel like you're on their side," Mom suggests. "People almost always start with harsh words before they go all the way to physical violence. Stopping it before it gets that far is easier than stopping a fight after it starts."
"It's like using an opponent's own force to throw him in karate," Flip says, trying out the idea. "I don't really throw him. I just sort of ... help him in the direction he's already going, while I step out of the way."
"Exactly," Mom says with a smile, her approval warm as a sunbeam. Flip basks in it.
"Sensei Takenaka says that a true master of karate never needs to use it in a fight, because he knows how to avoid getting into a fight in the first place," Flip says.
"He's right. When you're very powerful, it's important to avoid conflict where you could really hurt someone much weaker than yourself," Mom says. "On the other hand, if you're the weaker person, you need to stay out of situations where someone could hurt you. If you're poor instead of rich, or a woman instead of a man, or even a small man, or you're protecting someone who can't defend themselves, then that puts you at a disadvantage. You can't attack the problem head-on. You have to come at it from the side."
"I'll always be small," Flip says. He's doing great in karate but it's not like anyone could ever mistake him for one of the big, tough guys.
"Probably so. Your father wasn't a large man either," Mom says. Then she smiles. "But he had his own ways of getting what he wanted, different from mine. He was a very assertive and inspiring leader. The people who worked under him admired him a lot. They did what he asked because they wanted to, not because he ordered them around."
Suddenly Flip thinks of Captain America and the inspiring speeches that stand out from the cheesy comic-book dialog like shooting stars in a dark sky. He wonders if any of those are things that Captain America actually said. Flip wonders what kind of leader he could be, if he ever found anyone to follow him. He thinks about the Howling Commandos and about the Nazis they fought. Something tells him that willing followers would be far more valuable than flunkies.
* * *
Notes:
Bullies hurt people for many reasons, particularly because they're raised that way, they feel powerless, and they lack self-control. Here are some conversational techniques for diverting bullies.
Conflict typically goes through stages marked by increased hostility and signs of stress. De-escalation requires and understanding of basic principles and effective communication skills. It's a crucial skill for real-life heroes as well as superheroes. Learn how to de-escalate conflicts.
People often debate whether martial arts promote violence or peace. A responsible sensei teaches that violence is a last resort. According to the famous movie The Karate Kid, which centers around bullying, karate is not for fighting. Martial arts may also help reduce stress.
haikujaguar made a divination deck called the Balance Cards, which used to have a website but now does not. I was able to splice together meanings for the two cards dealing with leadership. The Whore represents covert leadership; she is Hint Culture. The King represents overt leadership; he is Ask Culture. The Whore sets aside her desires for the sake of others, hides her needs, does not ask for help, does things to pay the bills, perseveres through hardship, goes with the flow, nudges but does not direct, and takes care of people from below. She uses manipulation, secrets, subtlety, practicality, and covert power to accomplish her goals. The King customarily asks for help and gets it, takes care of people from above, but sometimes can be too stubborn to ask for help. He uses forthrightness, rules, a firm hand, and overt power to meet his objectives. Each has positive and negative aspects. Now compare these two ways of getting things done to Flip's mother and father. Later on, Agent Coulson is a BAMF partly because he can use both.
There are multiple types of leadership, and advantages to knowing yours. For example, Captain America favors charismatic and service methods. There are ways to find your leadership style.
[To be continued in Part 13 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11. Skip to Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 12
"I like fixing things," Flip says. He isn't all that great with tools, but the idea appeals to him. "The bullies just like breaking things, though."
"Well, they lead very sad lives," Mom says. "Most bullies feel like they don't have enough choice in what happens to them. They think that hurting people makes them more powerful. Instead it just shows how little control they really have."
"So how does that help? How can I make them stop without hitting back?" Phil asks. He clings to the photo album, its images of happy family comforting.
"Sometimes if you can coax them into talking about what upsets them, they never get around to throwing the first punch. Sympathize with them; make them feel like you're on their side," Mom suggests. "People almost always start with harsh words before they go all the way to physical violence. Stopping it before it gets that far is easier than stopping a fight after it starts."
"It's like using an opponent's own force to throw him in karate," Flip says, trying out the idea. "I don't really throw him. I just sort of ... help him in the direction he's already going, while I step out of the way."
"Exactly," Mom says with a smile, her approval warm as a sunbeam. Flip basks in it.
"Sensei Takenaka says that a true master of karate never needs to use it in a fight, because he knows how to avoid getting into a fight in the first place," Flip says.
"He's right. When you're very powerful, it's important to avoid conflict where you could really hurt someone much weaker than yourself," Mom says. "On the other hand, if you're the weaker person, you need to stay out of situations where someone could hurt you. If you're poor instead of rich, or a woman instead of a man, or even a small man, or you're protecting someone who can't defend themselves, then that puts you at a disadvantage. You can't attack the problem head-on. You have to come at it from the side."
"I'll always be small," Flip says. He's doing great in karate but it's not like anyone could ever mistake him for one of the big, tough guys.
"Probably so. Your father wasn't a large man either," Mom says. Then she smiles. "But he had his own ways of getting what he wanted, different from mine. He was a very assertive and inspiring leader. The people who worked under him admired him a lot. They did what he asked because they wanted to, not because he ordered them around."
Suddenly Flip thinks of Captain America and the inspiring speeches that stand out from the cheesy comic-book dialog like shooting stars in a dark sky. He wonders if any of those are things that Captain America actually said. Flip wonders what kind of leader he could be, if he ever found anyone to follow him. He thinks about the Howling Commandos and about the Nazis they fought. Something tells him that willing followers would be far more valuable than flunkies.
* * *
Notes:
Bullies hurt people for many reasons, particularly because they're raised that way, they feel powerless, and they lack self-control. Here are some conversational techniques for diverting bullies.
Conflict typically goes through stages marked by increased hostility and signs of stress. De-escalation requires and understanding of basic principles and effective communication skills. It's a crucial skill for real-life heroes as well as superheroes. Learn how to de-escalate conflicts.
People often debate whether martial arts promote violence or peace. A responsible sensei teaches that violence is a last resort. According to the famous movie The Karate Kid, which centers around bullying, karate is not for fighting. Martial arts may also help reduce stress.
haikujaguar made a divination deck called the Balance Cards, which used to have a website but now does not. I was able to splice together meanings for the two cards dealing with leadership. The Whore represents covert leadership; she is Hint Culture. The King represents overt leadership; he is Ask Culture. The Whore sets aside her desires for the sake of others, hides her needs, does not ask for help, does things to pay the bills, perseveres through hardship, goes with the flow, nudges but does not direct, and takes care of people from below. She uses manipulation, secrets, subtlety, practicality, and covert power to accomplish her goals. The King customarily asks for help and gets it, takes care of people from above, but sometimes can be too stubborn to ask for help. He uses forthrightness, rules, a firm hand, and overt power to meet his objectives. Each has positive and negative aspects. Now compare these two ways of getting things done to Flip's mother and father. Later on, Agent Coulson is a BAMF partly because he can use both.There are multiple types of leadership, and advantages to knowing yours. For example, Captain America favors charismatic and service methods. There are ways to find your leadership style.
[To be continued in Part 13 ...]
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Date: 2014-07-18 06:14 am (UTC)