Story: "Birthday Girl" (Part 8 of 18)
Apr. 30th, 2013 12:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis story is a sequel to "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," and "Touching Moments," "Splash," and "Coming Around."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Hulk, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Inferences of past child abuse. Current environment is safe.
Summary: Doombots crash a beautiful spring day in the park. The Avengers clean up the mess. This includes Natasha's rather confused longing for something she never had: a birthday party.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Teamwork. Canon-typical violence. Friendship. Confusion. Hulk is a genius too. Fluff. Making up for lost time. Birthday. Cultural traditions. Games. Gifts. Cake. The cake is never a lie! Tickling. Trust issues. Safety and security. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Personal growth. Family of choice.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7. Skip to Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18.
"Birthday Girl" Part 8
Natasha scrubbed a hand across her face in a futile effort to hide the tears. Then her fingers strayed to the faint scar just above her right wrist, where Hawkeye's arrow had pinned her arm to a wall to prevent Black Widow from killing him. It was fading, washed away by the steady tide of her enhanced body. But they all remembered what it meant.
Sorry, sir, I know SHIELD ordered a kill. I made a different call. Phil could still hear the determination in Hawkeye's tone. Sometimes being one of the good guys came down to knowing exactly when to disobey orders.
"I think -- I think I'd like that for my birthday. You gave me a whole new life that day," Natasha said to Clint.
"That was the idea," Clint said warmly, "just paying it forward." Phil never stopped feeling grateful that Clint had learned the lesson well enough to pass it along at need.
Natasha paused, straightening her back, though Phil had not noticed the subtle slump in it. Then she said, in the most fragile voice Phil had ever heard from her, "Will you come to my party, Clint?"
The gallant archer took her hand and bowed over it ever so slightly. "I would be honored," Clint said in a formal tone. His graceful response reminded Phil that Clint had always fancied himself after Robin Hood.
"I'll make the arrangements," Phil said. The date wasn't on a Saturday, but the Fantastic Four owed the Avengers another favor for the assist with Dr. Doom today.
"Thank you, Phil," said Clint. He ushered his sister to bed.
Phil tiptoed back into the common room. The viewscreen was dark. Shadows draped the walls except for the gleam of tiny base lights here and there along the edges of the floor. Phil could hear Steve's deep, even breathing on the couch. Steve healed fast, but sometimes it took a lot out of him.
Bruce was whimpering in his sleep, caught in a nightmare. Phil hurried to his side. He patted Bruce's hands, stroked his face, and ran a hand through the dark hair. The distressed noises faded away. Gradually the skin contact soothed Bruce back into a more restful state.
Phil breathed a sigh of relief. Not long after moving into the tower, Bruce had hulked out a few times due to nightmares or night terrors. At least now I can settle him down so he can get some decent sleep, Phil thought. Bruce needs all the rest he can get after a transformation.
Then Phil spread some floor cushions between the couch and the loveseat, making a bed for himself so that he could stay close to the two men in case they needed him during the night. His Starkphone lit as he took it out of his pocket.
Sleep if you're tired, Phil. I have the watch, JARVIS wrote.
Phil lay down and pulled a blanket over himself. He was a master spy. He could keep watch even in his sleep.
But it was so nice that he didn't have to, that he had someone else to rely on to keep their location secure.
* * *
Notes:
Disobeying orders is a challenging decision. People are advised to disobey illegal and/or immoral orders. There is rarely much protection either way; damned if you do, damned if you don't, so you might as well make the decision that you can live with. In support of Hawkeye's decision, canon generally indicates that Black Widow was or appeared to be young when he was ordered to kill her, and definitely was a small child when kidnapped by the Red Room, such that advisories regarding child soldiers apply. Also worth considering are the stages of moral development; most people do what they are told, or what others are doing, but toward the top end is reliance on a personal, well-thought-out code of honor.
Paying it forward means doing something good for someone, because somebody else did you a favor earlier. This can apply to anything, but especially to cases where it's impossible to repay the good deed in kind to the same person. Look for opportunities to pay it forward.
Nightmares and night terrors are two kinds of sleep disturbances. They often occur due to stress. If someone has a nightmare, provide loving comfort. There is some debate over whether or not to wake a person from a nightmare. If it doesn't seem too bad (whimpering, twitching) then sometimes a gentle touch will dispel the dream without waking the sleeper. If it's really bad (screaming, thrashing) then it's probably wise to try waking them. Bruce in particular needs to avoid getting too scared, or else Hulk has to come deal with it. Sleep disturbances are common symptoms of PTSD. All the Avengers have nightmares; I think Bruce is the only one with night terrors too. There are tips for dealing with nightmares.
Hypervigilance is a symptom of PTSD and other conditions. All the Avengers, to varying degrees, find it difficult to relax and feel safe, due to their rough pasts and high-risk profession. A sentient, friendly, and fiercely protective home security system helps tremendously; they are all sleeping better with JARVIS always on watch.
[To be continued in Part 9 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Hulk, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Inferences of past child abuse. Current environment is safe.
Summary: Doombots crash a beautiful spring day in the park. The Avengers clean up the mess. This includes Natasha's rather confused longing for something she never had: a birthday party.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Teamwork. Canon-typical violence. Friendship. Confusion. Hulk is a genius too. Fluff. Making up for lost time. Birthday. Cultural traditions. Games. Gifts. Cake. The cake is never a lie! Tickling. Trust issues. Safety and security. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Personal growth. Family of choice.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7. Skip to Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18.
"Birthday Girl" Part 8
Natasha scrubbed a hand across her face in a futile effort to hide the tears. Then her fingers strayed to the faint scar just above her right wrist, where Hawkeye's arrow had pinned her arm to a wall to prevent Black Widow from killing him. It was fading, washed away by the steady tide of her enhanced body. But they all remembered what it meant.
Sorry, sir, I know SHIELD ordered a kill. I made a different call. Phil could still hear the determination in Hawkeye's tone. Sometimes being one of the good guys came down to knowing exactly when to disobey orders.
"I think -- I think I'd like that for my birthday. You gave me a whole new life that day," Natasha said to Clint.
"That was the idea," Clint said warmly, "just paying it forward." Phil never stopped feeling grateful that Clint had learned the lesson well enough to pass it along at need.
Natasha paused, straightening her back, though Phil had not noticed the subtle slump in it. Then she said, in the most fragile voice Phil had ever heard from her, "Will you come to my party, Clint?"
The gallant archer took her hand and bowed over it ever so slightly. "I would be honored," Clint said in a formal tone. His graceful response reminded Phil that Clint had always fancied himself after Robin Hood.
"I'll make the arrangements," Phil said. The date wasn't on a Saturday, but the Fantastic Four owed the Avengers another favor for the assist with Dr. Doom today.
"Thank you, Phil," said Clint. He ushered his sister to bed.
Phil tiptoed back into the common room. The viewscreen was dark. Shadows draped the walls except for the gleam of tiny base lights here and there along the edges of the floor. Phil could hear Steve's deep, even breathing on the couch. Steve healed fast, but sometimes it took a lot out of him.
Bruce was whimpering in his sleep, caught in a nightmare. Phil hurried to his side. He patted Bruce's hands, stroked his face, and ran a hand through the dark hair. The distressed noises faded away. Gradually the skin contact soothed Bruce back into a more restful state.
Phil breathed a sigh of relief. Not long after moving into the tower, Bruce had hulked out a few times due to nightmares or night terrors. At least now I can settle him down so he can get some decent sleep, Phil thought. Bruce needs all the rest he can get after a transformation.
Then Phil spread some floor cushions between the couch and the loveseat, making a bed for himself so that he could stay close to the two men in case they needed him during the night. His Starkphone lit as he took it out of his pocket.
Sleep if you're tired, Phil. I have the watch, JARVIS wrote.
Phil lay down and pulled a blanket over himself. He was a master spy. He could keep watch even in his sleep.
But it was so nice that he didn't have to, that he had someone else to rely on to keep their location secure.
* * *
Notes:
Disobeying orders is a challenging decision. People are advised to disobey illegal and/or immoral orders. There is rarely much protection either way; damned if you do, damned if you don't, so you might as well make the decision that you can live with. In support of Hawkeye's decision, canon generally indicates that Black Widow was or appeared to be young when he was ordered to kill her, and definitely was a small child when kidnapped by the Red Room, such that advisories regarding child soldiers apply. Also worth considering are the stages of moral development; most people do what they are told, or what others are doing, but toward the top end is reliance on a personal, well-thought-out code of honor.
Paying it forward means doing something good for someone, because somebody else did you a favor earlier. This can apply to anything, but especially to cases where it's impossible to repay the good deed in kind to the same person. Look for opportunities to pay it forward.
Nightmares and night terrors are two kinds of sleep disturbances. They often occur due to stress. If someone has a nightmare, provide loving comfort. There is some debate over whether or not to wake a person from a nightmare. If it doesn't seem too bad (whimpering, twitching) then sometimes a gentle touch will dispel the dream without waking the sleeper. If it's really bad (screaming, thrashing) then it's probably wise to try waking them. Bruce in particular needs to avoid getting too scared, or else Hulk has to come deal with it. Sleep disturbances are common symptoms of PTSD. All the Avengers have nightmares; I think Bruce is the only one with night terrors too. There are tips for dealing with nightmares.
Hypervigilance is a symptom of PTSD and other conditions. All the Avengers, to varying degrees, find it difficult to relax and feel safe, due to their rough pasts and high-risk profession. A sentient, friendly, and fiercely protective home security system helps tremendously; they are all sleeping better with JARVIS always on watch.
[To be continued in Part 9 ...]
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2013-05-05 12:04 am (UTC)Uh, no they didn't. Spock still had both mom and dad into his mid to late twenties, which is when the movie takes place. He's still got that feral edge to him, though, because of the differences in how things played out on Vulcan. Instead of his dad being this (by Vulcan standards) oddball weirdo who married a human, he's evidently a *traitor* and Vulcan adults (those kids had to hear the term applied to Amanda from *somewhere*) are calling Amanda a whore, among other things. Which implies a much nastier and more deeply-rooted amount of xenophobia than was apparent (Spock still got looked down on as a halfblood) in the original universe.
Jim on the other hand ... yeah. His mom *clearly* never recovered from losing George the way she did, if the novelization of the movie is to be treated as canon. Not to mention that even if she HAD managed to not wallow in grief, Jim would have been hearing all about his hero dad from everyone, in a situation similar to what Tony had to deal with about Steve.
And Pike handled dealing with Jim badly. I got the distinct impression the only reason Jim didn't punch him in the face was because he wasn't quite drunk enough to think that would be a swell idea. He gives Pike a positively *poisonous* look for it, though.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2013-05-05 07:45 pm (UTC)I count it as early because Vulcans live longer than humans. Most people read Spock's age as if he were human, but he's not. He's 'younger' inside than a human of the same age would be.
In the original series, both Jim and Spock had their parents to shape their lives, and okay, the relationships were sometimes rocky but at least there was a level of stability there. In the reboot, Jim lost his father at birth and Spock lost his mother during the movie, which is later than early childhood but still a lot earlier than the original. And it ripped him to ribbons, which started affecting the plot immediately. So that's why I count it.
>>Which implies a much nastier and more deeply-rooted amount of xenophobia than was apparent (Spock still got looked down on as a halfblood) in the original universe.<<
True. That makes me wonder if T'Pring is still in the picture; very possibly not.
>>Jim on the other hand ... yeah. His mom *clearly* never recovered from losing George the way she did, if the novelization of the movie is to be treated as canon.<<
I gathered that from the movie. *ponder* Which is essentially the same scene as Howard Stark breaking from having gone down with Steve on the radio. Some people, like Peggy, manage to get up from that. Some don't.
>>And Pike handled dealing with Jim badly.<<
Let's hear it for Christopher Pike's A+ parenting.
>> I got the distinct impression the only reason Jim didn't punch him in the face was because he wasn't quite drunk enough to think that would be a swell idea. He gives Pike a positively *poisonous* look for it, though. <<
Yeah.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2013-05-05 10:23 pm (UTC)Ahhh, gotcha. *nods* I can see that, and even agree, but Spock was showing a feral edge *long* before he lost his mother (that beat-down he gave to that bully in school). So it was already there by the time he lost his mom ... losing her just made it ten billion times worse.
>>True. That makes me wonder if T'Pring is still in the picture; very possibly not.<<
I know for a fact she isn't. Because Spock was in an apparently serious relationship with Uhura. Which he would not have been if he had a girl waiting for him on Vulcan. More, it was apparently a largely human style relationship, because she was physically affectionate with him human-style, compared to how Original Series Amanda and Sarek acted (their relationship seemed to be entirely Vulcan). Which has all sorts of interesting implications of its own.
On top of that, Spock's relationship with his father is downright fluffy, sweet and cute compared to what it was in the Original Series. His surprise at Spock's telling the Vulcan Council to go fuck itself aside, Sarek was very, very supportive of Spock throughout the movie, which makes me suspect that in the face of the increased xenophobia, he 'closed ranks' around his family.
And while I'm on the subject of the council scene ... the fact that Spock chose to wear one of his mother's knitted sweaters (or, if she didn't make it, just human style clothes in general) instead of traditional Vulcan attire speaks *volumes*.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2013-05-06 02:02 am (UTC)I agree that reboot Spock is edgier than TOS Spock, and was even before his mother died. Of course, he's also younger: TOS Spock had considerably more time to grow into himself and learn how to navigate both cultures. But I think Amanda was a tremendous mellowing influence. TOS Sarek was a dick and she put up with him and even managed to modulate his dickishness slightly. Removing that influence from reboot Spock at a much earlier time is going to cause alllll kinds of problems.
>>I know for a fact she isn't. Because Spock was in an apparently serious relationship with Uhura. Which he would not have been if he had a girl waiting for him on Vulcan.<<
Okay, that's a good point; not specified in canon, but a logical conclusion.
>> More, it was apparently a largely human style relationship, because she was physically affectionate with him human-style, compared to how Original Series Amanda and Sarek acted (their relationship seemed to be entirely Vulcan). Which has all sorts of interesting implications of its own. <<
Yeah, that's fascinating, and I hadn't really thought about those implications. Fun!
>> On top of that, Spock's relationship with his father is downright fluffy, sweet and cute compared to what it was in the Original Series. <<
True. I like the reboot Sarek more as a person.
>>And while I'm on the subject of the council scene ... the fact that Spock chose to wear one of his mother's knitted sweaters (or, if she didn't make it, just human style clothes in general) instead of traditional Vulcan attire speaks *volumes*.<<
I loved that scene because Spock managed to out-Vulcan the Vulcans. They really came off looking like illogical bigots a hair's breadth from completely losing their composure. He was so suave, so Spock in that scene. *glee*
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2013-05-06 02:55 am (UTC)Especially with Jim encouraging and exacerbating that feral edge
>> Okay, that's a good point; not specified in canon, but a logical conclusion.<<
It's something very easy to miss unless you know a fair bit about Vulcans in canon. They don't flirt or date, mostly because the vast majority of them are bonded to a future mate at the age of seven, and dallying with someone who can never be their mate is Not Logical. So if Spock had been bonded to T'pring, he wouldn't have entered *any* other relationship.
>>Yeah, that's fascinating, and I hadn't really thought about those implications. Fun!<<
I've thought about the new crew and their relationships, personalities, and lives a lot. It's a fun as hell exercise, trying to figure out what changed, where, and why.
>>I loved that scene because Spock managed to out-Vulcan the Vulcans. They really came off looking like illogical bigots a hair's breadth from completely losing their composure. He was so suave, so Spock in that scene. *glee*<<
Yeah, that entire scene was love. I have this feeling that Spock knew exactly what was coming, and dressed/acted accordingly. That he was, possibly, trolling them just a little. Not that they didn't deserve it.
Also, I kind of squeed when he told them to 'live long and prosper' in a tone that was the clearest 'fuck you and the horse you rode in on' that a Vulcan has EVER had. EVER. That right there was when I fell in love with Quinto's version of Spock, because *damn*, but it takes some balls to do that!
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2013-05-08 09:42 pm (UTC)Yeah, these two guys are going to heterodyne more than they buffer, so it's a very different dynamic than TOS. Poor Bones, he's the only brakes they've got between the three of them, and he's on rebound from a much-fresher broken relationship.
Yeah, that can't possibly go wrong.
>>It's something very easy to miss unless you know a fair bit about Vulcans in canon.<<
I knew about it, just didn't put the pieces together.
>>I have this feeling that Spock knew exactly what was coming, and dressed/acted accordingly. That he was, possibly, trolling them just a little. Not that they didn't deserve it.<<
That was actually something I saw as deeply in-character, because TOS Spock had such a wonderfully subtle way of trolling the hell out of people.
>>Also, I kind of squeed when he told them to 'live long and prosper' in a tone that was the clearest 'fuck you and the horse you rode in on' that a Vulcan has EVER had. EVER. That right there was when I fell in love with Quinto's version of Spock, because *damn*, but it takes some balls to do that!<<
Well, that's the point: he wants them to be around to see him win, to see the epic brain walk off and hand all the benefits to the humans because the Vulcans were being too illogical to associate with.
ZOT! ZING! Game to Spock.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2013-05-08 11:33 pm (UTC)As someone else put it, Spock has a 'scorched earth, burn-it-down and salt the earth' policy, Jim has an 'I refuse to lose' attitude. They also both have rather explosive tempers and mommy issues. They are going to spend their entire career bouncing between trying to kill each other and wiping the floor with anyone stupid enough to piss them off. Because as much as they spen the first 3/4ths of the movie trying to beat each other up or actually kill each other, once they beamed onto the Narada together, they were so in synch it was scary.
They're going to give Starfleet Command coronaries. And migraines.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2013-05-10 06:47 am (UTC)Well framed.
>> They also both have rather explosive tempers and mommy issues. <<
Plus daddy issues, honestly.
>> They are going to spend their entire career bouncing between trying to kill each other and wiping the floor with anyone stupid enough to piss them off. Because as much as they spent the first 3/4ths of the movie trying to beat each other up or actually kill each other, once they beamed onto the Narada together, they were so in synch it was scary. <<
It was a little eerie, watching them flow into each other.
*ponder* I think they melted together a lot faster than TOS because the tension was higher, sooner, and Spock had a fresh gaping hole in his life.
>> They're going to give Starfleet Command coronaries. And migraines. <<
And ulcers. Heh.