Story: "Birthday Girl" (Part 16 of 18)
May. 8th, 2013 12:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis story is a sequel to "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," and "Touching Moments," "Splash," and "Coming Around."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Hulk, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Inferences of past child abuse. Current environment is safe.
Summary: Doombots crash a beautiful spring day in the park. The Avengers clean up the mess. This includes Natasha's rather confused longing for something she never had: a birthday party.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Teamwork. Canon-typical violence. Friendship. Confusion. Hulk is a genius too. Fluff. Making up for lost time. Birthday. Cultural traditions. Games. Gifts. Cake. The cake is never a lie! Tickling. Trust issues. Safety and security. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Personal growth. Family of choice.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15. Skip to Part 18.
"Birthday Girl" Part 16
Natka was weeping again, in perfect silence, by the time she reached the image of her child-self in dancing bear pajamas and, within, the solid baby-doll wearing nothing but a lavender diaper and a cap of ginger curls.
"Thank you," she said hoarsely.
Phil passed her his handkerchief. Natka hid her face in the pure white cloth. Phil wrapped an arm around her and gently coaxed her onto his shoulder. Natka clung to him in a rare moment. "We love all of you," Phil echoed.
A whisper of sound flittered through the air as JARVIS turned on party music, something light and sweet and cheerful, played very low but gradually gaining volume. Natka excused herself to the bathroom. The team leaned over the row of матрёшка dolls, now standing in a neat line on the coffee table, praising Steve's artwork and what turned out to be Betty's thoughtful compilation of made-in-America materials.
Eventually Natka came back, her composure restored. Tony challenged her to a game of Russian scrabble. Steve and Betty joined in at once. Soon the four of them crouched, laughing, over the wooden board laid out on the floor.
Phil settled onto the couch to watch over them as they played. Bruce came over and sat down next to him, snuggling against his side. Clint took the far side so that he and Phil pressed Bruce between them. It was cozy and sweet.
"She looks happy," Bruce said, watching Natka with the others.
"Yes, I believe she is happy," Phil said. Natka deserved some happiness, after her rough upbringing and all her hard work keeping the world a halfway-decent place to live.
"I've been thinking," Bruce said slowly, "about the Big Kid." His hands moved, one over the other, a self-soothing gesture that he did without thought.
"What about him?" Phil asked. He hoped that Bruce-and-Hulk might come to an accord. Bruce had remained quiet after viewing the balloon catch, leaving Phil largely in the dark about his thought processes. It's been so hard on Bruce, learning that Hulk isn't quite what he thought. Hulk is just trying to help, but the more of that Bruce sees, the more it shakes his whole worldview, Phil realized.
"Could you ... maybe ... take some pictures? For him?" Bruce said, his voice muffled as he hid his face against Phil's chest. Phil cupped a hand over the back of his head. Bruce trembled faintly in Phil's gentle grasp. "He keeps asking you to show me stuff, when he's out. So I thought ... we could show him the party? And then he'll know Natka's happy? With, with me there?"
"Of course, Bruce; we can take stills from the video footage," said Phil. "That's very kind of you. I'm sure he'll enjoy that." Creating a two-way exchange of visual information between Bruce-and-Hulk should aid their communication. It was a tremendous concession from someone whose greatest fears included being seen. Bruce's previous experiences under observation had been horrific; it left him camera-shy. For Bruce to reach out at all in this direction showed a definite improvement.
"Uh huh," Bruce said. He seemed terrified and determined in equal proportions.
* * *
Notes:
The game of Scrabble does indeed come in Russian.
Self-soothing comprises a set of coping skills to help relax yourself when you feel stressed. However, frequent use of self-soothing can indicate anxiety. This is particularly true for people who grew up in a deprived environment. Hand-wringing is a sign of stress.
Fear of being seen is called scopophobia, and camera shyness can be a related condition. Some people just don't like to be noticed. This may have no clear cause, but more often stems from negative experiences. Bruce has plenty of past justification for his wariness -- but in his current, safer situation it is making interactions difficult both with the team and with Hulk. So he's trying to work through that.
[To be continued in Part 17 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Hulk, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Inferences of past child abuse. Current environment is safe.
Summary: Doombots crash a beautiful spring day in the park. The Avengers clean up the mess. This includes Natasha's rather confused longing for something she never had: a birthday party.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Teamwork. Canon-typical violence. Friendship. Confusion. Hulk is a genius too. Fluff. Making up for lost time. Birthday. Cultural traditions. Games. Gifts. Cake. The cake is never a lie! Tickling. Trust issues. Safety and security. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Personal growth. Family of choice.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15. Skip to Part 18.
"Birthday Girl" Part 16
Natka was weeping again, in perfect silence, by the time she reached the image of her child-self in dancing bear pajamas and, within, the solid baby-doll wearing nothing but a lavender diaper and a cap of ginger curls.
"Thank you," she said hoarsely.
Phil passed her his handkerchief. Natka hid her face in the pure white cloth. Phil wrapped an arm around her and gently coaxed her onto his shoulder. Natka clung to him in a rare moment. "We love all of you," Phil echoed.
A whisper of sound flittered through the air as JARVIS turned on party music, something light and sweet and cheerful, played very low but gradually gaining volume. Natka excused herself to the bathroom. The team leaned over the row of матрёшка dolls, now standing in a neat line on the coffee table, praising Steve's artwork and what turned out to be Betty's thoughtful compilation of made-in-America materials.
Eventually Natka came back, her composure restored. Tony challenged her to a game of Russian scrabble. Steve and Betty joined in at once. Soon the four of them crouched, laughing, over the wooden board laid out on the floor.
Phil settled onto the couch to watch over them as they played. Bruce came over and sat down next to him, snuggling against his side. Clint took the far side so that he and Phil pressed Bruce between them. It was cozy and sweet.
"She looks happy," Bruce said, watching Natka with the others.
"Yes, I believe she is happy," Phil said. Natka deserved some happiness, after her rough upbringing and all her hard work keeping the world a halfway-decent place to live.
"I've been thinking," Bruce said slowly, "about the Big Kid." His hands moved, one over the other, a self-soothing gesture that he did without thought.
"What about him?" Phil asked. He hoped that Bruce-and-Hulk might come to an accord. Bruce had remained quiet after viewing the balloon catch, leaving Phil largely in the dark about his thought processes. It's been so hard on Bruce, learning that Hulk isn't quite what he thought. Hulk is just trying to help, but the more of that Bruce sees, the more it shakes his whole worldview, Phil realized.
"Could you ... maybe ... take some pictures? For him?" Bruce said, his voice muffled as he hid his face against Phil's chest. Phil cupped a hand over the back of his head. Bruce trembled faintly in Phil's gentle grasp. "He keeps asking you to show me stuff, when he's out. So I thought ... we could show him the party? And then he'll know Natka's happy? With, with me there?"
"Of course, Bruce; we can take stills from the video footage," said Phil. "That's very kind of you. I'm sure he'll enjoy that." Creating a two-way exchange of visual information between Bruce-and-Hulk should aid their communication. It was a tremendous concession from someone whose greatest fears included being seen. Bruce's previous experiences under observation had been horrific; it left him camera-shy. For Bruce to reach out at all in this direction showed a definite improvement.
"Uh huh," Bruce said. He seemed terrified and determined in equal proportions.
* * *
Notes:
The game of Scrabble does indeed come in Russian.
Self-soothing comprises a set of coping skills to help relax yourself when you feel stressed. However, frequent use of self-soothing can indicate anxiety. This is particularly true for people who grew up in a deprived environment. Hand-wringing is a sign of stress.
Fear of being seen is called scopophobia, and camera shyness can be a related condition. Some people just don't like to be noticed. This may have no clear cause, but more often stems from negative experiences. Bruce has plenty of past justification for his wariness -- but in his current, safer situation it is making interactions difficult both with the team and with Hulk. So he's trying to work through that.
[To be continued in Part 17 ...]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 02:32 pm (UTC)Yay!
Date: 2013-05-08 09:27 pm (UTC)Re: Yay!
Date: 2013-05-08 10:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 04:05 pm (UTC)Yes...
Date: 2013-05-09 07:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 05:09 pm (UTC)You're welcome!
Date: 2013-05-09 08:29 am (UTC)I'm glad you found this so moving.
>> Bruce is so brave here, reaching out and totally out of his comfort zone! <<
He really is. It's not just about doing things that frighten him -- it's also about feeling emotions himself instead of fobbing off all the hard stuff on poor Hulk. Bruce is learning to be afraid without dissociating and shoving Hulk to the forefront. Previously Bruce has been so fixated on Hulk being "pushy" about coming out under stressful circumstances, I don't think he has any clue how often he was actually forcing the change himself. But now they are getting better.
>> Another great (and very emotional) chapter, thank you! <<
*bow, flourish* Happy to be of service!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-09 12:46 am (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2013-05-09 09:09 am (UTC)I'm happy to hear that. I like following characters as they learn and grow.
>> and I think Hulk will be so happy that Bruce is doing this for him! <<
I think so too. They're finally starting to get some two-way communication.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-08-07 11:51 pm (UTC)Oh, Natka.
Oh, Bruce...
Good for you, Bruce... And calling him the Big Kid...that's HUGE.
whoops
Date: 2013-08-07 11:52 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2013-08-07 11:59 pm (UTC)I'm glad you found this so touching.
>> Oh, Natka.
Oh, Bruce... <<
*hugs*
>> Good for you, Bruce... And calling him the Big Kid...that's HUGE. <<
It really is. Funny how I never realized it until just now, but that shift of nickname is Bruce's way of including him in game night, just a little bit. There's a scene later on, in "No Winter Lasts Forever," where Bruce talks about wishing that he could exclude Hulk from game night -- which is really mean -- and yet there's this. Poor Bruce, his feelings about Hulk are just mixed to puree.