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ysabetwordsmith"Coming in from the Cold" is the next big piece in its series, dealing with Bucky and his continued issues with that piece-of-crap prosthesis. I'm posting each day within the story as a section unto itself, broken down into post-sized parts.
This story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk,""kintsukuroi," "Little and Broken, but Still Good," "Up the Water Spout," "The Life of the Dead," "If They Could Just Stay Little," "Anahata," "Coming in from the Cold: Saturday: Building Towers," and "Coming in from the Cold: Sunday: Shaking Foundations."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Bruce Banner, Betty Ross, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Happy Hogan, Peggy Carter, Sam Wilson, DUM-E, U, Butterfingers.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Mention of past trauma with lingering symptoms of PTSD. Kitchen fail. Tony being a brat. Description of past deaths and self-destructive behavior. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: The Avengers celebrate Memorial Day by going to Washington, D.C. for the festivities. Emotional roller-coasters ensue.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Emotional overload. Coping skills. Healthy touch. Asking for help and getting it. Cooking. Comfort food. Holidays. Medals. Veteran issues. Nonsexual intimacy. Caregiving. Competence. Gentleness. Trust. Emotional confusion. Hope. Crowds. Memorials. Mourning. Letting go. Moving on. Photography. Parades. Storytelling. War stories. Nostalgia. Hand-feeding. Heroism. Public speaking. Flashbacks. Friendship. Counseling. Leaving early. Bots. Tony and his bots. Tony Stark loves his bots. The bots are Tony's kids. Bot feels. Bots being cute. Protective bots. Boundary issues. Territoriality. Making friends. #coulsonlives
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6. Skip to Part 9.
"Coming in from the Cold: Monday: Memorial Day" Part 7
Phil picked up a stack of plates and carried them to the table. As he set them down, Natasha flitted past and lifted the last bit of bagel from Bucky's hand, depositing a pile of silverware in front of him. "Don't spoil your dinner," she said.
Bucky's knife chimed against the glass. He peered into the jar of macadamia nut butter. "Wow. Empty," he said. "I didn't realize that I'd eaten that much. I'm still hungry. Guess I better get a fresh jar out of the pantry --"
"I regret that we are out of macadamia nut butter at the moment, Bucky. I have placed an order, and a new jar should arrive with tomorrow morning's groceries," said JARVIS. "Meanwhile, there is more Nutella along with almond butter and cashew butter if you wish something other than conventional peanut butter."
"Shoot," Bucky said as he stared at the empty jar. He looked shaken. "I didn't realize -- I didn't mean --"
Phil hastily abandoned a handful of glasses on the nearest counter. "It's all right, Bucky," he said, patting the larger man's shoulder. "We can always buy more." Out of the team, Bucky and Steve were the most prone to worrying about supplies. Everyone tried to find ways of helping them cope with a background that spanned the Great Depression and World War II.
"I just feel bad for hogging the food," Bucky said in a small voice.
JARVIS chimed in, "We have the ingredients to make a batch of macadamia butter, if that would make you feel better."
"Huh ... yeah, I think that would help. Thanks, JARVIS, that's a great idea," said Bucky. He perked up a little.
"I have placed a recipe on the screen above the counter," JARVIS said.
Natasha smoothly finished setting the table while Phil helped Steve and Bucky assemble everything needed for the macadamia butter. The food processor whirred away. Bucky washed and dried the empty jar, so that they could simply put the fresh macadamia butter in there.
The oven timer dinged. Betty pulled out first Steve's cookies and then Bucky's batch. The sweet notes melded with the savory steam from the crockpot. They all smelled delectable.
Clint sauntered into the kitchen and boosted one of each right off the cookie sheets. "Hot! Hot! Hot!" he yelped, juggling sweets full of molten chocolate. Half a cookie detached and headed for the floor. "Fuck!"
Bruce got a plate under Clint's purloined pastries just in time. "For pity's sake, put those down for a minute before you try to eat them," the doctor scolded. "You'll be miserable if you blister your tongue. Again."
"Buh iff so worff it," Clint mumbled around a mouthful of chocolate-chip Nutella cookie. Bruce rolled his eyes and put the plate on the table. Clint followed as if on a leash. Tony still hadn't arrived, but it wasn't rare for him to come late to a meal, or even skip altogether.
Along with the stroganoff, there were pasta and sourdough bread to use as a base. Natasha also brought out black bread and butter. Betty had microwaved a package of frozen peas. Everyone gathered around the table.
They ate quietly, now and then trading remarks about how the day had gone. The dance project fascinated Bucky. Bruce wanted to hear all about the parade and what else Betty had enjoyed on her outing. The stroganoff was well received; everyone encouraged Natasha's tentative venture into hot food. Clint had to eat gingerly around the blister on his tongue, though.
Phil noticed that every time Bucky went to refill his plate, he put some on Steve's plate first. Steve didn't even blink, the habit so ingrained that it barely even registered anymore. At least he wasn't eating with his forearm curled around his plate, the way he did when he felt nervous. Clint had resumed eating full portions, too. He even took a spoonful of peas without being prompted, and Clint was not a fan of vegetables.
Eventually it was time for dessert. They passed around platters of cookies. Steve had become quite fond of the chocolate-chip Nutella recipe after Bruce turned him onto hazelnuts as a good source of protein, vitamin E, and assorted minerals. Of course that reminded them that somebody was still missing.
Steve pulled out his Starkphone to ping the workshop again. "Tony, are you coming or not? We're almost done with supper," Steve said, a note of worry creeping into his voice.
"Busy," Tony replied. "I ate today. I'm sure I did. It's still Monday, right? Yeah. I'm good." He cut the connection.
Tony's definition of "good," while improving, is still not ideal, Phil thought.
Bruce sighed. "I'll take down a little bit for Tony and coax him to take a break. I'm trying to show him that smaller, more frequent meals can work better than gorging once in a while," he said. "Steve, give me a couple of the macadamia-white chocolate cookies. He'll eat those."
Phil was almost full, but he helped himself to one cookie of each flavor. These really taste good, he mused. The different nut butters made the cookies richer and softer, chewy in the center under a crispy crust.
As Bruce was scooping stroganoff into a plastic tub, Steve's phone rang. "Hey guys, JARVIS says my shipment just arrived, I've got some equipment sitting in the main lobby that I need in the workshop. Could somebody bring it down here, please? 'Kay-thanks-bye." Tony said without pausing for breath.
Steve was left staring at the dark screen in his hand. "Um ... that was ..."
"That was Tony," said Bruce in a wry tone. He snapped the lid onto the container and used a rubber band to fasten a clean fork on top.
"Let me take that," Phil suggested. "It'll be harder to convince Tony to take a break with new supplies on hand. He minds me a little better."
Bruce nodded gratefully and handed over the food. "Thanks, Phil. I worry about him, you know? Tony doesn't always take good care of himself."
"I'll pick up the stuff in the lobby," Bucky offered. "I know what it's like to get caught up in building something."
"That's very thoughtful of you, Bucky, thanks," said Phil. They left Clint clearing the table and Steve putting away the leftovers.
Bucky had no trouble carrying the several packages that waited for Tony in the lobby. Phil did take one long tube of something that rattled faintly, because it proved unwieldy with the square boxes. As they rode the elevator to Tony's workshop, Bucky began singing softly:
First you say you do
And then you don't
And then you say you will
And then you won't
Phil recognized the lyrics of a jazz song from the late 1930s. The tune was plaintive and a little sassy. It fit the awkward push-pull of the relationship between Tony and Bucky.
You're undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
Ah yes, that was the title, "Undecided." For all their uncertainty, though, the two men had decided to stick by each other. Phil felt grateful for their sincerity, however clumsy their efforts at mutual support.
JARVIS opened the door to the workshop. Phil and Bucky had to kick aside a pile of empty cardboard boxes in front of the door. Tony still wasn't used to having other people around his workspace, and didn't always account for the change in traffic.
The raucous blare of Tony's rock music surged over them. Bucky winced. It was nothing like the soulful jazz and lively swing that he'd grown up with. To him, this was just a wall of noise. Phil couldn't help but sympathize. He preferred classical and swing himself, although Clint had since turned him on to some of the better country and western songs.
Inside the workshop, DUM-E and Tony were headbanging away to the music. They toiled over something gleaming and complicated laid out on a bench. Neither of them looked up, intent on their work.
The opening of the door sent U and Butterfingers zipping into their charging stations. They plugged in with a plurk-plurk sound and both went dark. The bots were still skittish around people other than Tony. Usually when anyone else came near the garage or workshop, they hid.
Alerted by the motion, the engineer looked up to see Phil and Bucky, then waved the music down to a less ear-rending level. He bounced happily at the sight of the tube under Phil's arm. "Yay, they came! I so need these," Tony said, heading for them.
DUM-E dashed between Tony and the others. His engine revved to a menacing growl. The metal hand snaked forward.
"What the heck?" Tony said, trying to shove the bot out of his way. "Knock it off, you tinsel idiot, they come bearing gifts. We never turn away guests who bring us goodies."
"Tony, what's wrong?" Bucky asked. "I mean, you said not to hassle your bots because they're not used to people, but this seems like ... more."
"Yeah, um, DUM-E has seen what can happen when other people attack me, so he's got his reasons," Tony said. "He's a bit overprotective is all. Just don't harsh on him, okay? He is a sensitive little snowflake."
Bucky put down the packages he carried to show his empty hands. He did not encroach any further on DUM-E's territory. Phil held out the coveted tube at arm's length. Tony managed to snag the far end of it. "Yes!" he crowed. DUM-E whined in protest.
"Why is DUM-E blocking the path?" Bucky asked. "I've been down here before a few times. Usually they just avoid other people. What changed?"
"We're carrying things," Phil said, watching how DUM-E's camera eyes tracked the two vistors. "That can seem threatening, especially if you don't know what's inside the packages."
"Wow, he's really upset," Bucky said with a worried frown. He crouched down to put himself on the little robot's level. Then he took off his shirt. Thick scars fanned out from the seam at his left shoulder. "Tony, toss me the rim key."
"You'll need a chemical rinse if you take the sleeve off," Tony said, lobbing him the tool with an easy underhand pass.
"Yeah, I know. I don't mind if you don't," Bucky said as he unfastened the synthetic skin.
"No problem," Tony said. He petted DUM-E, trying to soothe the anxious robot.
Bucky peeled off the long fleshy glove and handed it to Phil. It felt soft, almost alive in Phil's grasp. This is remarkable material, Phil thought.
"Look, DUM-E, I'm just like you and Tony," said Bucky. He turned his palm up, showing it empty. Then he waggled his silver fingers. "See, it's metal. You know metal."
DUM-E gave a startled chirp. He rolled forward, then jerked back. Bucky held out his hand and waited. DUM-E inched toward him again. The three claws opened, servos whirring softly as the robot reached for Bucky. Then DUM-E paused, hesitating just before contact.
"It's okay, you can touch it. You won't hurt me," Bucky said.
"Gently, DUM-E," Tony coached. "No more than 3 psi."
"My hand can take a lot more than that," Bucky said.
"Yeah, I know, but it's junk and I don't trust it," Tony said. "Besides, I'm trying to teach DUM-E how to shake hands and most people won't shake with him. Except Rhodey that one time, but he stuck DUM-E with a joy buzzer and that was really not funny."
"No wonder the poor kid's so skittish," Bucky said. "I'm not that kind of jerk, DUM-E. I won't hurt you or Tony."
"Rhodey didn't mean it, he just has a rough sense of humor on the rare occasions when it lets it off the leash, you know?" Tony said. "I've known him since college. Rhodey was the only friend I had for a while, and -- and he's been around for DUM-E's whole life. So don't diss him."
"I just think DUM-E deserves better, is all," said Bucky.
* * *
Notes:
Nut butters come in many tasty and nutritious varieties. Here is a general guide to making nut butters at home.
Macadamia butter is luxurious stuff. You can buy it, or make your own. This recipe is just macadamia nuts, macadamia oil, and salt (Tony safe). This recipe adds coconut oil and honey (NOT for Tony).
Hazelnuts have a lot of nutrients.
"Undecided" is a 1938 song by Ella Fitzgerald appearing on many albums. Read the lyrics. Listen to the song on YouTube.
Tony Stark built three bots: DUM-E, U, and Butterfingers. While JARVIS behaves like an adult, the bots act more like rather young children. Read about DUM-E and U. Butterfingers is mentioned here. This is a baby picture of DUM-E with teen father Tony. Watch a video of Tony and his bots, including the scene of DUM-E saving Tony's life in Iron Man 1. This article has a little animation showing U. Here is DUM-E. Both of these show Tony's severe verbal abuse of the bots. He really loves them, but he doesn't know how to show love very well. Since children learn what they hear, imagine what conversations Tony must have grown up hearing. (Thanks Howard, you fucking waste of oxygen.) There are better ways to talk to children. Know how to deal with verbal abuse from your parents.
Situational awareness and threat assessment are useful in personal and building security. Threatening behavior can include things like moving closer aggressively. (DUM-E has trouble distinguishing between a harmless advance and a credible threat.) Another is carrying objects that might be used as weapons. Risk factors in employees include a troubled past. (Basically all the Avengers, and DUM-E has no way to know yet that these people will protect Tony.) There are ways to improve your situational awareness.
So DUM-E has PTSD, mainly from seeing Tony half-dead from having the arc reactor ripped out of his chest. (Thank you Obie, you fucking waste of carbon atoms.) PTSD can appear in children but with slightly different symptoms compared to adults. Here DUM-E shows hypervigilance. Know how to help someone through a panic attack or flashback. There are ways to cope with PTSD in the family and in children.
Bucky does exactly the right things by backing off and showing DUM-E that he is not a threat, instead of ignoring the bot's worry. Bucky uses nonthreatening body language such as crouching down and displaying his empty hand.
Gentleness is a virtue. In order to touch gently, robots need excellent programming and plenty of sensors. Tony has to figure out ways of explaining "gentle" to DUM-E, who perceives the world differently than humans do. 3 psi is just above average human blood pressure. There are tips for being a gentle person and teaching gentleness to children.
Traditional joy buzzers are mechanical, spring-wound toys. There are now electric ones too.
[To be continued in Part 8 ...]
This story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk,""kintsukuroi," "Little and Broken, but Still Good," "Up the Water Spout," "The Life of the Dead," "If They Could Just Stay Little," "Anahata," "Coming in from the Cold: Saturday: Building Towers," and "Coming in from the Cold: Sunday: Shaking Foundations."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Bruce Banner, Betty Ross, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Happy Hogan, Peggy Carter, Sam Wilson, DUM-E, U, Butterfingers.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Mention of past trauma with lingering symptoms of PTSD. Kitchen fail. Tony being a brat. Description of past deaths and self-destructive behavior. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: The Avengers celebrate Memorial Day by going to Washington, D.C. for the festivities. Emotional roller-coasters ensue.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Emotional overload. Coping skills. Healthy touch. Asking for help and getting it. Cooking. Comfort food. Holidays. Medals. Veteran issues. Nonsexual intimacy. Caregiving. Competence. Gentleness. Trust. Emotional confusion. Hope. Crowds. Memorials. Mourning. Letting go. Moving on. Photography. Parades. Storytelling. War stories. Nostalgia. Hand-feeding. Heroism. Public speaking. Flashbacks. Friendship. Counseling. Leaving early. Bots. Tony and his bots. Tony Stark loves his bots. The bots are Tony's kids. Bot feels. Bots being cute. Protective bots. Boundary issues. Territoriality. Making friends. #coulsonlives
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6. Skip to Part 9.
"Coming in from the Cold: Monday: Memorial Day" Part 7
Phil picked up a stack of plates and carried them to the table. As he set them down, Natasha flitted past and lifted the last bit of bagel from Bucky's hand, depositing a pile of silverware in front of him. "Don't spoil your dinner," she said.
Bucky's knife chimed against the glass. He peered into the jar of macadamia nut butter. "Wow. Empty," he said. "I didn't realize that I'd eaten that much. I'm still hungry. Guess I better get a fresh jar out of the pantry --"
"I regret that we are out of macadamia nut butter at the moment, Bucky. I have placed an order, and a new jar should arrive with tomorrow morning's groceries," said JARVIS. "Meanwhile, there is more Nutella along with almond butter and cashew butter if you wish something other than conventional peanut butter."
"Shoot," Bucky said as he stared at the empty jar. He looked shaken. "I didn't realize -- I didn't mean --"
Phil hastily abandoned a handful of glasses on the nearest counter. "It's all right, Bucky," he said, patting the larger man's shoulder. "We can always buy more." Out of the team, Bucky and Steve were the most prone to worrying about supplies. Everyone tried to find ways of helping them cope with a background that spanned the Great Depression and World War II.
"I just feel bad for hogging the food," Bucky said in a small voice.
JARVIS chimed in, "We have the ingredients to make a batch of macadamia butter, if that would make you feel better."
"Huh ... yeah, I think that would help. Thanks, JARVIS, that's a great idea," said Bucky. He perked up a little.
"I have placed a recipe on the screen above the counter," JARVIS said.
Natasha smoothly finished setting the table while Phil helped Steve and Bucky assemble everything needed for the macadamia butter. The food processor whirred away. Bucky washed and dried the empty jar, so that they could simply put the fresh macadamia butter in there.
The oven timer dinged. Betty pulled out first Steve's cookies and then Bucky's batch. The sweet notes melded with the savory steam from the crockpot. They all smelled delectable.
Clint sauntered into the kitchen and boosted one of each right off the cookie sheets. "Hot! Hot! Hot!" he yelped, juggling sweets full of molten chocolate. Half a cookie detached and headed for the floor. "Fuck!"
Bruce got a plate under Clint's purloined pastries just in time. "For pity's sake, put those down for a minute before you try to eat them," the doctor scolded. "You'll be miserable if you blister your tongue. Again."
"Buh iff so worff it," Clint mumbled around a mouthful of chocolate-chip Nutella cookie. Bruce rolled his eyes and put the plate on the table. Clint followed as if on a leash. Tony still hadn't arrived, but it wasn't rare for him to come late to a meal, or even skip altogether.
Along with the stroganoff, there were pasta and sourdough bread to use as a base. Natasha also brought out black bread and butter. Betty had microwaved a package of frozen peas. Everyone gathered around the table.
They ate quietly, now and then trading remarks about how the day had gone. The dance project fascinated Bucky. Bruce wanted to hear all about the parade and what else Betty had enjoyed on her outing. The stroganoff was well received; everyone encouraged Natasha's tentative venture into hot food. Clint had to eat gingerly around the blister on his tongue, though.
Phil noticed that every time Bucky went to refill his plate, he put some on Steve's plate first. Steve didn't even blink, the habit so ingrained that it barely even registered anymore. At least he wasn't eating with his forearm curled around his plate, the way he did when he felt nervous. Clint had resumed eating full portions, too. He even took a spoonful of peas without being prompted, and Clint was not a fan of vegetables.
Eventually it was time for dessert. They passed around platters of cookies. Steve had become quite fond of the chocolate-chip Nutella recipe after Bruce turned him onto hazelnuts as a good source of protein, vitamin E, and assorted minerals. Of course that reminded them that somebody was still missing.
Steve pulled out his Starkphone to ping the workshop again. "Tony, are you coming or not? We're almost done with supper," Steve said, a note of worry creeping into his voice.
"Busy," Tony replied. "I ate today. I'm sure I did. It's still Monday, right? Yeah. I'm good." He cut the connection.
Tony's definition of "good," while improving, is still not ideal, Phil thought.
Bruce sighed. "I'll take down a little bit for Tony and coax him to take a break. I'm trying to show him that smaller, more frequent meals can work better than gorging once in a while," he said. "Steve, give me a couple of the macadamia-white chocolate cookies. He'll eat those."
Phil was almost full, but he helped himself to one cookie of each flavor. These really taste good, he mused. The different nut butters made the cookies richer and softer, chewy in the center under a crispy crust.
As Bruce was scooping stroganoff into a plastic tub, Steve's phone rang. "Hey guys, JARVIS says my shipment just arrived, I've got some equipment sitting in the main lobby that I need in the workshop. Could somebody bring it down here, please? 'Kay-thanks-bye." Tony said without pausing for breath.
Steve was left staring at the dark screen in his hand. "Um ... that was ..."
"That was Tony," said Bruce in a wry tone. He snapped the lid onto the container and used a rubber band to fasten a clean fork on top.
"Let me take that," Phil suggested. "It'll be harder to convince Tony to take a break with new supplies on hand. He minds me a little better."
Bruce nodded gratefully and handed over the food. "Thanks, Phil. I worry about him, you know? Tony doesn't always take good care of himself."
"I'll pick up the stuff in the lobby," Bucky offered. "I know what it's like to get caught up in building something."
"That's very thoughtful of you, Bucky, thanks," said Phil. They left Clint clearing the table and Steve putting away the leftovers.
Bucky had no trouble carrying the several packages that waited for Tony in the lobby. Phil did take one long tube of something that rattled faintly, because it proved unwieldy with the square boxes. As they rode the elevator to Tony's workshop, Bucky began singing softly:
First you say you do
And then you don't
And then you say you will
And then you won't
Phil recognized the lyrics of a jazz song from the late 1930s. The tune was plaintive and a little sassy. It fit the awkward push-pull of the relationship between Tony and Bucky.
You're undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
Ah yes, that was the title, "Undecided." For all their uncertainty, though, the two men had decided to stick by each other. Phil felt grateful for their sincerity, however clumsy their efforts at mutual support.
JARVIS opened the door to the workshop. Phil and Bucky had to kick aside a pile of empty cardboard boxes in front of the door. Tony still wasn't used to having other people around his workspace, and didn't always account for the change in traffic.
The raucous blare of Tony's rock music surged over them. Bucky winced. It was nothing like the soulful jazz and lively swing that he'd grown up with. To him, this was just a wall of noise. Phil couldn't help but sympathize. He preferred classical and swing himself, although Clint had since turned him on to some of the better country and western songs.
Inside the workshop, DUM-E and Tony were headbanging away to the music. They toiled over something gleaming and complicated laid out on a bench. Neither of them looked up, intent on their work.
The opening of the door sent U and Butterfingers zipping into their charging stations. They plugged in with a plurk-plurk sound and both went dark. The bots were still skittish around people other than Tony. Usually when anyone else came near the garage or workshop, they hid.
Alerted by the motion, the engineer looked up to see Phil and Bucky, then waved the music down to a less ear-rending level. He bounced happily at the sight of the tube under Phil's arm. "Yay, they came! I so need these," Tony said, heading for them.
DUM-E dashed between Tony and the others. His engine revved to a menacing growl. The metal hand snaked forward.
"What the heck?" Tony said, trying to shove the bot out of his way. "Knock it off, you tinsel idiot, they come bearing gifts. We never turn away guests who bring us goodies."
"Tony, what's wrong?" Bucky asked. "I mean, you said not to hassle your bots because they're not used to people, but this seems like ... more."
"Yeah, um, DUM-E has seen what can happen when other people attack me, so he's got his reasons," Tony said. "He's a bit overprotective is all. Just don't harsh on him, okay? He is a sensitive little snowflake."
Bucky put down the packages he carried to show his empty hands. He did not encroach any further on DUM-E's territory. Phil held out the coveted tube at arm's length. Tony managed to snag the far end of it. "Yes!" he crowed. DUM-E whined in protest.
"Why is DUM-E blocking the path?" Bucky asked. "I've been down here before a few times. Usually they just avoid other people. What changed?"
"We're carrying things," Phil said, watching how DUM-E's camera eyes tracked the two vistors. "That can seem threatening, especially if you don't know what's inside the packages."
"Wow, he's really upset," Bucky said with a worried frown. He crouched down to put himself on the little robot's level. Then he took off his shirt. Thick scars fanned out from the seam at his left shoulder. "Tony, toss me the rim key."
"You'll need a chemical rinse if you take the sleeve off," Tony said, lobbing him the tool with an easy underhand pass.
"Yeah, I know. I don't mind if you don't," Bucky said as he unfastened the synthetic skin.
"No problem," Tony said. He petted DUM-E, trying to soothe the anxious robot.
Bucky peeled off the long fleshy glove and handed it to Phil. It felt soft, almost alive in Phil's grasp. This is remarkable material, Phil thought.
"Look, DUM-E, I'm just like you and Tony," said Bucky. He turned his palm up, showing it empty. Then he waggled his silver fingers. "See, it's metal. You know metal."
DUM-E gave a startled chirp. He rolled forward, then jerked back. Bucky held out his hand and waited. DUM-E inched toward him again. The three claws opened, servos whirring softly as the robot reached for Bucky. Then DUM-E paused, hesitating just before contact.
"It's okay, you can touch it. You won't hurt me," Bucky said.
"Gently, DUM-E," Tony coached. "No more than 3 psi."
"My hand can take a lot more than that," Bucky said.
"Yeah, I know, but it's junk and I don't trust it," Tony said. "Besides, I'm trying to teach DUM-E how to shake hands and most people won't shake with him. Except Rhodey that one time, but he stuck DUM-E with a joy buzzer and that was really not funny."
"No wonder the poor kid's so skittish," Bucky said. "I'm not that kind of jerk, DUM-E. I won't hurt you or Tony."
"Rhodey didn't mean it, he just has a rough sense of humor on the rare occasions when it lets it off the leash, you know?" Tony said. "I've known him since college. Rhodey was the only friend I had for a while, and -- and he's been around for DUM-E's whole life. So don't diss him."
"I just think DUM-E deserves better, is all," said Bucky.
* * *
Notes:
Nut butters come in many tasty and nutritious varieties. Here is a general guide to making nut butters at home.
Macadamia butter is luxurious stuff. You can buy it, or make your own. This recipe is just macadamia nuts, macadamia oil, and salt (Tony safe). This recipe adds coconut oil and honey (NOT for Tony).
Hazelnuts have a lot of nutrients.
"Undecided" is a 1938 song by Ella Fitzgerald appearing on many albums. Read the lyrics. Listen to the song on YouTube.
Tony Stark built three bots: DUM-E, U, and Butterfingers. While JARVIS behaves like an adult, the bots act more like rather young children. Read about DUM-E and U. Butterfingers is mentioned here. This is a baby picture of DUM-E with teen father Tony. Watch a video of Tony and his bots, including the scene of DUM-E saving Tony's life in Iron Man 1. This article has a little animation showing U. Here is DUM-E. Both of these show Tony's severe verbal abuse of the bots. He really loves them, but he doesn't know how to show love very well. Since children learn what they hear, imagine what conversations Tony must have grown up hearing. (Thanks Howard, you fucking waste of oxygen.) There are better ways to talk to children. Know how to deal with verbal abuse from your parents.
Situational awareness and threat assessment are useful in personal and building security. Threatening behavior can include things like moving closer aggressively. (DUM-E has trouble distinguishing between a harmless advance and a credible threat.) Another is carrying objects that might be used as weapons. Risk factors in employees include a troubled past. (Basically all the Avengers, and DUM-E has no way to know yet that these people will protect Tony.) There are ways to improve your situational awareness.
So DUM-E has PTSD, mainly from seeing Tony half-dead from having the arc reactor ripped out of his chest. (Thank you Obie, you fucking waste of carbon atoms.) PTSD can appear in children but with slightly different symptoms compared to adults. Here DUM-E shows hypervigilance. Know how to help someone through a panic attack or flashback. There are ways to cope with PTSD in the family and in children.
Bucky does exactly the right things by backing off and showing DUM-E that he is not a threat, instead of ignoring the bot's worry. Bucky uses nonthreatening body language such as crouching down and displaying his empty hand.
Gentleness is a virtue. In order to touch gently, robots need excellent programming and plenty of sensors. Tony has to figure out ways of explaining "gentle" to DUM-E, who perceives the world differently than humans do. 3 psi is just above average human blood pressure. There are tips for being a gentle person and teaching gentleness to children.
Traditional joy buzzers are mechanical, spring-wound toys. There are now electric ones too.
[To be continued in Part 8 ...]
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-05 07:57 am (UTC)It's nice to see Tony improving at bot-parenting. There are still a lot of issues here, but even where he's doing things wrong, it's evident that he really wants to do things right. I bet he'll make some big breakthroughs when he groks that he's going to have to work through the damage Howard did parenting him (and a few of his other problems) if he wants to improve his relationship with his bots--and I think he might need it framed that way in order to move forward.
I really liked it when Tony told DUM-E how many psi he could use. That's a really great way to clarify what you're looking for when you're talking to a robot. The bot part of bot-parenting is something that he gets instinctively where most other people would be utterly lost.
Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-05 08:27 am (UTC)Yes, that's true.
>> but it was still pretty impressive when he thought of settling the impending panic by having Bucky make a new batch of macadamia butter. <<
:D JARVIS has been observing all the Avengers to understand not just what upsets them, but what soothes him, which helps him identify and solve problems quickly.
>> I'm kind of fascinated by the way that JARVIS and Bucky are starting to bond. <<
Yay! Bucky lives inside one of JARVIS's bodies. JARVIS holds a great deal of Bucky's memories inside too, and helps put things into Bucky's head when the original brain can't process everything properly. That is intimate. It's very much on a level of what actions connect Tony and JARVIS, but the relationship is different. There will be more of this in the future.
>> It's nice to see Tony improving at bot-parenting.<<
So it is.
>> There are still a lot of issues here, but even where he's doing things wrong, it's evident that he really wants to do things right. <<
I'm glad that Tony's affection comes through, despite his rough behavior.
>>I bet he'll make some big breakthroughs when he groks that he's going to have to work through the damage Howard did parenting him (and a few of his other problems) if he wants to improve his relationship with his bots--and I think he might need it framed that way in order to move forward. <<
There are some bits and pieces of that in progress, but it'll take a while to get that far. Tony isn't really ready to deal directly with his own issues yet.
>> I really liked it when Tony told DUM-E how many psi he could use. That's a really great way to clarify what you're looking for when you're talking to a robot. <<
Yay! I keep an eye out for things like this.
>> The bot part of bot-parenting is something that he gets instinctively where most other people would be utterly lost. <<
Exactly. Few people understand how computers think.
*chuckle* Back in junior high, I took a computing class. There was one assignment about programming a robot to make a sandwich. By the time the bell rang, I had written several pages ... and hadn't even gotten the refrigerator door open yet. I remembered how code works, I'm just not any good at actually doing it.
You can see glimpses of this when I'm writing from JARVIS' perspective, too.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-05 09:54 am (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-05 09:59 am (UTC)That's true for everyone incarnate. Souls are massive bundles of data. You can only fit so much into one body, one life, so you have to pick and choose. To some extent, I can swap off and download things I didn't pack in with me. But the space is still limited.
>> The linguistic stuff combined with farmemory might have let you be a coder if it were more important than social survival, for instance; apparently something about survival situations breaks up the sort of discipline that's needed to be a programmer -- unless you forcibly retain the skill. <<
It's definitely not social. I am social teflon. The problem is that this brain won't run that routine effectively enough to code in detail instead of in general. >_< It's like how I know how to play music, but this body doesn't have that talent.
>>In my case, I lost the skill because I wasn't practicing anything that relates to language (and thus the specific commands I'd use), but I retain all the flowcharting and task-breakdown skills because organization is useful when under stress and I apparently was going to need most of my math skills.<<
That makes sense.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-05 11:29 am (UTC)Also, I know Clint can be an ass, but the cookie thing surprised me.
"Nutella" variation my recipe(s)
Date: 2015-07-05 01:14 pm (UTC)Anyway, my method (a few-servings batch, not a whole jar)
(Stir after each addition of an ingredient -- this is an impromptu go-by-eye recipe):
Dilute several tablespoons nut butter with one or two tablespoons water, and stir until evenly smooth. This will look rather gray and disgusting, but go with it. Add your sugar and vanilla extract to taste (brown sugar is amazing). Add some nonfat powdered milk if desired -- a tablespoon or two.
Now, comes the magic. Add your cocoa powder. And stir. And stir. And stir. At first, the cocoa powder will look dry and dusty, and just kind of float on the top, and around the edges, of the goop. And then, at some point, the cocoa will absorb all that extra water, and the whole goopy mess will suddenly be perfectly emulsified, and dark, and glossy, and smooth, like the most luscious brownie batter you've ever seen, but your mother wouldn't let you lick the bowl, because of the raw eggs. But this doesn't have eggs, so you can lick the spoon all you want. :-).
...I've tried making it without extra water, and the cocoa never incorporated properly, no matter how much I mushed the ingredients together.
Depending on how much water you add at the beginning, you might end up with a spread for a sandwich, or a "Sauce" to drizzle. Either way: Yum!
I've also stirred dry quick cook oats into the mix as I'm making it, to the consistency of cake batter, and baked it into a cake (iirc, 350-ish F for half an hour?... been a while). Since people with gluten sensitivity also have problem with oats, it might also work with rice flour or corn meal. But I've not tried that.
>>"I just think DUM-E deserves better, is all," said Bucky<<
Aww. Such a gentle way to hand Tony a clue, along with the delivery...
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-05 06:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-05 06:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-05 07:08 pm (UTC)I think Tony's first, overly hard reaction to Dummy's protectiveness ("Tinsel idiot" is not something you should say, Tony!) is at least partly based on his fear of how Phil and Bucky will react to Dummy's behavior. As soon as he sees they're understanding, he becomes much gentler, too. I think he's worried they will be mad with him if Dummy, who is his child/creation acts in a way they find upsetting.
After, we see that Tony really CAN be good at robo-parenting when int he right mindset. He needs to be in that mindset more, though. But I think it'll come with practice and understanding himself more.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-05 08:19 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2015-07-05 08:40 pm (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-05 08:45 pm (UTC)Yeah, they're pretty traumatized. But Bucky knows how to cope with traumatized kids. He is also good with machinery. That will help a lot.
>> Also, I know Clint can be an ass, but the cookie thing surprised me. <<
He likes sweet things. He's kind of a pest. And someone who regularly throws himself off buildings does not have the standard sense of self-preservation or impulse control.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-05 09:40 pm (UTC)I think perhaps that it has more to do with being afraid of what they might do to DUM-E. If it's clear that he's reacting in a strong, hard, even violent manner, they'll be less likely to try to hurt him, because clearly Tony can handle it. I don't feel like I'm explaining what I mean very well, partially because the logical part of my brain is squashing it, so it's hard to see the whole thought process.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-05 09:43 pm (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-05 09:50 pm (UTC)It kind of tells you what used to happen if he waited for food to cool, doesn't it? 0_o
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-05 10:41 pm (UTC)Apparently, I think like a computer. Hit me with a box of numbers, and I go through one at a time and look for the highest one I've seen yet. Apparently the "correct" answer is to look at the entire block and eliminate whole swathes at once. Very strange. Potentially useful, but not in the least intuitive. I was attempting a MOOC on Python and it quickly became very awkward as the teacher kept explaining information that was intuitively obvious to me like it was difficult and confusing. I'm sure this happens to you a lot. It makes me wonder how useful I can possibly remain as computers get better and better at talking to people. Computers are millions of times faster than any human.
What I'd really like to do, I think, maybe, is be an accessibility advocate/consultant. If you want to make sure your daycare program, or public facility, or summer camp is accessible to as many people as humanly possible, you give me money, I come and check things out, then point out what can be done. Or, if you want to convince your local whatever to be more accessible, you hire me and I come and explain why being accessible makes you more awesome. Hopefully I'd be able to charge large corporations an arm and a leg and consult with nonprofits and public schools and individuals who don't have ridiculous amounts of resources for no charge. But that's not a job that exists. And I'd need to learn more. Some of it is stuff I can figure out, like what angles you need for a really accessible ramp for wheelchairs, and other stuff I don't even know is a thing yet. And I don't want to be self-employed at all.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-05 10:43 pm (UTC)Ouch. Yeah.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-05 10:55 pm (UTC)That would be awesome. The world needs that job.
>> If you want to make sure your daycare program, or public facility, or summer camp is accessible to as many people as humanly possible, you give me money, I come and check things out, then point out what can be done. <<
It would help to having a scoring rubric. A section for physical things like ramps and grab bars, then inside that a checklist for individual items. A section for pyschological stuff like whether the staff have trauma-aware training and how overstimulating the place could be. A section for extra facilities like if they have a quiet room.
>> Or, if you want to convince your local whatever to be more accessible, you hire me and I come and explain why being accessible makes you more awesome. <<
That would be terrific, especially if you could codify some of the stuff into handouts on the benefits of diversity and how to improve it.
>> Hopefully I'd be able to charge large corporations an arm and a leg and consult with nonprofits and public schools and individuals who don't have ridiculous amounts of resources for no charge. <<
Yes, you can make a sliding scale. Many nonprofits do that.
>> But that's not a job that exists. <<
Neither was slaughterhouse animal comfort consultant, until an autistic woman invented it. Now her work makes slaughterhouses safer and more efficient for humans, and less stressful for animals. Because she thinks like a cow. It is really all about figuring out what you do well, and then monetizing that. Look for a problem people are having that you can solve.
>> And I'd need to learn more. Some of it is stuff I can figure out, like what angles you need for a really accessible ramp for wheelchairs, and other stuff I don't even know is a thing yet. <<
Much of it is stuff you could learn on the job, too. Start doing this as volunteer work until you feel confident about it. Frex, the obvious starting point would be the benefit lecture. That doesn't require detailed knowledge of hardware yet, it's all sociology. While building your network and public speaking skills on that, you could contact people with handicaps and organizations that serve them to learn more of the details. Then when you know more, start charging.
>>And I don't want to be self-employed at all.<<
That's a serious limitation. Hmmm ...
One option would be attaching yourself to a charity or nonprofit that serves people with disabilities.
There are also architects who build or renovate homes for disabled people, particularly veterans. Check out these lovely examples:
http://www.stantonhomes.com/specialadaptedhousing.aspx
Maybe a company that does adaptive equipment or facilities would like to hire you as a consultant. Or maybe they already have a similar job that you would like and could train for.
(From Trezelle2 on AO3)
Date: 2015-07-06 12:18 am (UTC)Also, I love how Tony defines gentle to DUM-E - it reminds me of that Asimov story Risk (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Risk_(Asimov))
Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-06 01:52 am (UTC)Yay!
>> I had a feeling last chapter that Tony would be science-ing too hard to show up to dinner. And possibly any other meals for a day or two unless someone drags him out/brings food. <<
Tony doesn't mean to underfeed himself, really, it's just that he tends to zone out on work and his appetite isn't always strong enough to remind him to eat regularly. He hates being nagged about it. So Bruce is trying to find ways of keeping Tony fed that will not annoy him so much. Tony's solution has been smoothies, which is actually not a bad idea. Bruce's idea of small frequent meals is another good solution, because it will help avoid the tendency to gorge and then be uncomfortably stuffed.
>>And Bots! I love the bots. <<
:D I'm happy to hear that.
>> Dum-E head banging with Tony, so precious. <<
I figure that DUM-E would be the most likely to share Tony's musical tastes.
>> And protective Dum-E is the best. <<
That's a favorite motif for me too. I thought that he would have the most inclination that way, since he's the one who had to rescue Tony from Obie. 0_o
>> I remember one fic where he hit Steve with a wrench the first time Steve came down to the garage to yell at Tony over something. <<
Wow. I love that. I've seen a few others where DUM-E drags Steve (or someone else) off of Tony. <3
>> Bucky holding out his metal arm to Dum-E reminds me of a fanart I saw on Pinintrest. <<
Aw! That is adorable.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-06 02:57 am (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-06 03:03 am (UTC)Yes. So far the Avengers have avoided close interaction with the bots because Tony suggested it to minimize stress. But the more the team merges, the less feasible that gets. It will be good for the bots to learn that the Avengers are nice people.
>> And I'm glad Bucky knew how to help--a lot of people really don't. <<
Too true. Bucky grew up in an orphanage and went through a war, so he knows how to cope with traumatized children.
Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-06 09:42 am (UTC)They understand that Bucky and Steve will probably always be sensitive to things like that after growing up in the Depression. It doesn't matter that Tony is made of money or that everyone on the team has enough to live on more than comfortably if they never made another dime.
>> And JARVIS's idea to help him make a replacement badge is awesome! <<
Pretty much the only thing that will shut off that alert is buying more, making more, or finding a close substitute.
>> I think Tony's first, overly hard reaction to Dummy's protectiveness ("Tinsel idiot" is not something you should say, Tony!) is at least partly based on his fear of how Phil and Bucky will react to Dummy's behavior.<<
Partly that, but it's dual -- Tony worries how they will respond to DUM-E, and how they will respond to him. Or if they'll just leave.
>> As soon as he sees they're understanding, he becomes much gentler, too. I think he's worried they will be mad with him if Dummy, who is his child/creation acts in a way they find upsetting. <<
It makes sense, because the only other people who have been around the bots would not have responded well. But when the Avengers handle it better, then Tony can too.
>> After, we see that Tony really CAN be good at robo-parenting when int he right mindset. He needs to be in that mindset more, though. But I think it'll come with practice and understanding himself more. <<
Yes, exactly. A lot of the problem is second-guessing himself and carrying over bad tape from Howard. Tony's own cyber-parenting skills must be pretty good since he managed to raise JARVIS.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-07 01:00 am (UTC)Nice thing about Python is, it's designed to be easy to learn. Annoying thing about Python is, once you've learned it, you have to abandon some of its best design principles to use certain very popular languages (like Java). Python lists and dictionaries are insanely useful for organizing data, but altering a list in Java looks weird to me. And error passing is hard, why do I have to tell all the classes up to the core what to look for instead of catching the error where I use the classes involved? And then having to separate EVERYTHING into different files instead of putting related classes into their own module.
But I rant. Moving on...
Worst thing about being in my head is, my ability to learn things has been severely reduced. So I can't catch up and get familiar with the differences, which would catch me up properly.
Handing it over
Date: 2015-07-07 01:06 am (UTC)Phil held out the coveted tube at arm's length. Tony managed to snag the far end of it. "Yes!" he crowed. DUM-E whined in protest.
Yes, he did. Phil handed something to Tony, who celebrated receiving it. Maybe because it was something Tony really wanted, and Phil's a close friend, it's okay?