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ysabetwordsmith"Coming in from the Cold" is the next big piece in its series, dealing with Bucky and his continued issues with that piece-of-crap prosthesis. I'm posting each day within the story as a section unto itself, broken down into post-sized parts.
This story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk,""kintsukuroi," "Little and Broken, but Still Good," "Up the Water Spout," "The Life of the Dead," "If They Could Just Stay Little," "Anahata," "Coming in from the Cold: Saturday: Building Towers," and "Coming in from the Cold: Sunday: Shaking Foundations."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Bruce Banner, Betty Ross, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Happy Hogan, Peggy Carter, Sam Wilson, DUM-E, U, Butterfingers.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Mention of past trauma with lingering symptoms of PTSD. Kitchen fail. Tony being a brat. Description of past deaths and self-destructive behavior. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: The Avengers celebrate Memorial Day by going to Washington, D.C. for the festivities. Emotional roller-coasters ensue.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Emotional overload. Coping skills. Healthy touch. Asking for help and getting it. Cooking. Comfort food. Holidays. Medals. Veteran issues. Nonsexual intimacy. Caregiving. Competence. Gentleness. Trust. Emotional confusion. Hope. Crowds. Memorials. Mourning. Letting go. Moving on. Photography. Parades. Storytelling. War stories. Nostalgia. Hand-feeding. Heroism. Public speaking. Flashbacks. Friendship. Counseling. Leaving early. Bots. Tony and his bots. Tony Stark loves his bots. The bots are Tony's kids. Bot feels. Bots being cute. Protective bots. Boundary issues. Territoriality. Making friends. Bucky's arm. Tony Stark & Bucky's arm. #coulsonlives
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7.
"Coming in from the Cold: Monday: Memorial Day" Part 8
The robot gave a querulous trill and nudged his hand, then skittered away. Bucky didn't move. DUM-E crept back and took careful hold of Bucky's hand, the powerful claw gripping gently as instructed. The handshake was tentative yet complete. Phil could see the tiny camera lenses shifting to focus on small details of the prosthesis. Then DUM-E let go, turning around to regard Tony with a chirp of curiosity.
"Yeah, Bucky's like me, a cyborg," Tony said. "It's nice not to be alone the way I used to be. I'd like to share the garage with him, but if you're not comfortable with that, let me know. This was your home first."
DUM-E made a thoughtful hum. Then he rolled back to Bucky, grasped his hand again, and tugged gently.
"I guess this means I get to be in the club," Bucky said with a grin as he followed the robot further into the garage.
Phil took a step forward, intending to hand Tony the food next. DUM-E squawked in protest. "One new person at a time, is that it?" Phil said. "All right, then. Bucky, come get Tony's supper, please."
Bucky doubled back for the food. "Tony needs to refuel, DUM-E. We brought him beef stroganoff and white chocolate-macadamia cookies."
Plurk, went DUM-E, and did not interfere with the transfer.
"I'll take the cookies," Tony said, holding out a hand.
"After you finish your supper," Bucky said. He kept the cookies just out of reach and presented the small container of stroganoff instead. "Come on, eat up like a good boy and then Bruce won't nag us."
"Tyrant," Tony grumbled, but opened the tub.
"Yeah, he can be, but we love him anyway," Bucky said.
"I meant you." Tony sampled the stroganoff. "Hey, this is really good. Who cooked?"
"Bruce and Natasha made the main dish. Steve and I baked the cookies. We needed to relax," Bucky said.
"Cool," Tony said. "So hey, look at this." He pointed with his fork to the mess of metal on the workbench. "I got an idea for fixing the wrist, think I can make a two-strut model work, just like a real forearm. That should fix the flexibility problem you have."
Phil couldn't make out the details from where he stood, but he could see Bucky's back stiffen. "It'll jam. Won't it?" Bucky said.
"Not if I build it right, and I will, so trust me," Tony said.
DUM-E rolled up to the bench, his chassis fitting neatly under the empty space beneath it so that he could work comfortably. Sensitive metal fingers nudged the partially constructed device. He gave a crisp chirp.
Bucky leaned over to look where DUM-E was pointing. "Is that ... like a piston, or a shock absorber?"
"Something like that, yeah," Tony said. "I'm experimenting with some different things. The wrist needs to be flexible so that it can accomodate the double strut from the forearm. I'm thinking maybe some parts that slide, and some that compress or expand as a solid mass. I can't just rebuild an anatomical wrist out of metal, it won't work the same as live tissue, so it's got to perform the same functions in more mechanical ways ..."
The two men chatted with enthusiasm while Tony ate. Phil discreetly checked the time. Despite the bumpy day, Bucky seems to have recovered well, Phil thought. He shows more tolerance than usual for discussing the delicate topic of his arm. Most of the time he doesn't recover this fast after bailing out earlier in the same day.
"Okay, you can have your dessert now," Bucky said when Tony handed him the empty container, exchanging it for the cookies wrapped in a paper towel.
Tony rolled his eyes in pleasure as he bit into the first one. "Umm. So good. I love these things." Belatedly he turned back to Bucky and Phil, taking another bite. "You wan' fum?"
"Don't talk with your mouth full, Tony, and no thanks, I'm stuffed. Phil and I ate upstairs," Bucky said.
The white chocolate-macadamia cookies didn't last long. Soon Tony brushed away the crumbs and returned his attention to the project at hand. "So next step, I'm testing fancy polymers and shit for the compression zones. Reed sent me some samples that he thought might work with these rods," Tony said as he opened the long tube that he'd claimed earlier, spilling out lengths of metal. "Somebody find me the right box."
Phil sorted through the packages that Bucky had set on the floor. "I believe this is the box you want," Phil said, holding it up.
Bucky came to get it. "Thanks," he said. Then he lowered his voice. "Sorry about the robotic guard dog not letting you into the work area."
"It's all right," Phil said. "I am aware of DUM-E's reasons for caution, and they are not unfounded, even if he doesn't understand yet that I pose no threat to Tony." DUM-E had seen his father butchered and dying right in front of him, when Tony crawled downstairs after Obie's attack. No wonder the little robot worried so much.
"Oh no, don't you dare!" Tony said. "Put that thing down. You do not need the fire extinguisher, DUM-E, because there is not going to be a fire."
Bucky chuckled as DUM-E danced out of reach while Tony tried to grab the fire extinguisher away from him. "What's the problem, Tony?"
"He sprays me all the time when I'm not on fire," Tony said, making another futile lunge. "It is annoying and he is an overprotective mechanical nanny! Which I do not need."
Phil privately believed that Tony needed more minding than he admitted, but did not say anything aloud. He watched DUM-E continue to keep the fire extinguisher just out of reach. Tony and DUM-E chased each other around the table. Tony was smiling a little, though. At least this way, Tony gets some safe exercise and entertainment, Phil mused.
Bucky frowned. "Tony, how many times have you actually set yourself on fire?"
DUM-E twittered. "Four hundred seventy-two," JARVIS translated.
"That is bullshit," Tony said. "It hasn't been more than a couple dozen. Few dozen. Whatever. Certainly not hundreds."
"DUM-E, can you tell when Tony is about to catch fire, before flames become visible?" Bucky asked in a thoughtful tone.
The bot gave an affirmative chirp, nodding his hand with the fire extinguisher still in place.
Tony froze in the act of reaching for the coveted device. "Sweet JSTOR, I never thought of that," he said. "I am such an asshole. No, worse, I'm a stupid asshole." He smacked himself on the forehead. "I should have thought to check ... I wonder how much of the other dumb shit he does, actually has a reason behind it."
Probably more than anyone has realized, Phil thought. DUM-E thinks differently than the rest of us do, even compared to the other bots, but he is neither stupid nor irrational. He is Tony's son. He's just ... quirky.
DUM-E whirred over the fire extinguisher.
"Yeah, you can keep it, just in case Daddy sets himself almost on fire again," Tony said. "You are my very special snowflake, you know that? Never change."
DUM-E set down the fire extinguisher within easy reach. He nuzzled his metal hand against Tony's shirt. Black oil smeared over the white cloth. Then DUM-E leaned over the workbench where he could assist Tony.
"Bucky, would you like to help too?" Tony offered. "Stay for as long or as short as you want. It's ... um ... speaking from experience, easier to develop a sense of ownership for things you've actually built ..." His hand fluttered over the arc reactor.
Bucky pressed a palm to Tony's chest, just for a moment, and Tony's fingers skimmed over bright metal. "Yeah, I could try that, a few minutes anyway," Bucky said.
"I'll leave you boys to your work, then," Phil said. The atmosphere had turned intimate in a way that made him feel like an eavesdropper. He set the remaining packages in a neat row beside the door. Then Phil headed to the elevator, requesting the common floor. He didn't feel like doing paperwork tonight.
On the way up, Phil mulled over what he had observed. We've been avoiding the garage and workshop most of the time, giving the bots their space, he thought. Maybe we overdid that. Too much avoidance can make matters worse instead of better.
"JARVIS, do you think DUM-E is all right?" Phil asked aloud. "We didn't overstress him by leaving Bucky in his territory, did we? I assume you could tell if something went really wrong."
"All of us are networked together, so yes, I know when DUM-E is in distress," JARVIS replied. "At first he found the intrusion alarming. Now he seems to consider Bucky part of the family."
Phil sighed. "If only it were that easy with those of us who don't happen to be cyborgs," he said.
"You are gentle and thoughtful. I feel confident you will think of a way to reassure DUM-E that you have sir's best interests at heart," JARVIS said.
"This isn't just about me, it's about the whole team," Phil said. "We live here; this is Avengers Tower now. I don't mind giving the bots some private space, but I don't want them to be afraid of us."
This was usually where Tony said "fucking Obie."
"Regrettably Obadiah Stane furnished them with examples of humanity's moral nadir," JARVIS said, his voice cooling. "Ms. Potts and Colonel Rhodes, while loyal to sir, have been ... erratic in their reception of his inorganic family members." Then his tone softened. "Bucky is the first person other than sir who has ever reached out to DUM-E like that, accepted his perceptions as valid, and offered comfort. That gives us more of a foundation to build upon."
It reminded Phil of something. "JARVIS, did you know that DUM-E was responding to workshop fires at the smoulder stage rather than waiting for visible smoke or flames to appear?"
"I did," JARVIS confirmed. "I also tried to explain that to sir, but he was unreceptive and ordered me to desist." The air vents whiffled a mechanical sigh. "On such occasions that he becomes careless enough to cause fires, he is often quite drunk, emotionally overwrought, or otherwise impaired in function. Or all of the above. Of course there are times when an unanticipated reaction occurs, but that happens less often. Sir is excitable, but he is a gifted engineer and not prone to making sloppy mistakes."
Four hundred seventy-two.
Oh, Tony.
Phil was suddenly, fiercely glad that Bruce had finagled a promise from Tony about the proper treatment of work-related injuries. "I think that Tony might benefit from a semi-permeable boundary on the garage level," Phil said. "The other Avengers could visit him more often, even if it's just a matter of carrying materials or bringing food down to him. That should help DUM-E get used to the rest of the team and learn that we all care about Tony too."
"I concur," JARVIS said. "I believe it would benefit sir as well as DUM-E. Sir needs to hear that he is accepted and appreciated, but sometimes he becomes uncomfortable with overt displays."
"You think that a more oblique approach would appeal to him more, like people interacting with DUM-E," said Phil. It made sense. Tony craved affection, but he had so many experiences of betrayal that it was no wonder such words made him nervous. Hence his efforts to buy friendship, which in turn made some of the other Avengers uneasy.
"It seems worthy of the attempt," JARVIS said. "We have reached the common floor." The elevator doors opened.
* * *
Notes:
Robots can indeed be taught to shake hands.
Shyness can have positive or negative aspects. It's normal for children around ages 3-6, which is about how DUM-E seems. He alternates between enthusiastic, protective, and hesitant. Coping techniques for shy children include introducing one new person or activity at a time. Also, despite what some people say, it's perfectly okay to say, "He's shy." There's nothing wrong with being shy! It's only a problem if it makes someone unhappy. So follow the explanation with a hint how people can help: "Let him watch before joining in. Then he might like to help set up the supplies." Shy children will do a lot better if people avoid overloading them, and if they have fun instead of feeling harassed, they are more likely participate enthusiastically in the future. Overstimulation is a risk for young children and those with special needs.
Buildings and furniture need to be designed to accommodate someone who travels on wheels. For example, tables and desks need roll-under space. Tony's workspaces tend to be accessible because of the bots, but also because he likes to zoom around in a wheeled office chair, and because it's not rare for him to get injured enough to impair mobility.
Lab fire safety involved a number of precautions. Make sure to have the right safety equipment. Bruce's bargain with Tony included buffing up the lab safety protocols and equipment.
Avoidance of stressful situations can have positive or negative effects. The troublesome version is associated with PTSD. However, you don't have to eat the eggplant. When is avoidance good? When you can lower your stress by skipping things that don't give you a benefit. When is avoidance bad? When you are avoiding things that you really need to do, or freaking out over things that are difficult or impossible to avoid. In this case -- as often happens -- the bots avoiding people worked for a while but later became less effective and more of an obstacle. That's when you need to work on reducing avoidance. Here are some helpful worksheets.
Loving your children requires knowing what their love language is. Otherwise they have trouble feeling loved. Tony's outbound love language is gifts, but his inbound is words.
[To be concluded in Part 9 ...]
This story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk,""kintsukuroi," "Little and Broken, but Still Good," "Up the Water Spout," "The Life of the Dead," "If They Could Just Stay Little," "Anahata," "Coming in from the Cold: Saturday: Building Towers," and "Coming in from the Cold: Sunday: Shaking Foundations."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Bruce Banner, Betty Ross, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Happy Hogan, Peggy Carter, Sam Wilson, DUM-E, U, Butterfingers.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Mention of past trauma with lingering symptoms of PTSD. Kitchen fail. Tony being a brat. Description of past deaths and self-destructive behavior. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: The Avengers celebrate Memorial Day by going to Washington, D.C. for the festivities. Emotional roller-coasters ensue.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Emotional overload. Coping skills. Healthy touch. Asking for help and getting it. Cooking. Comfort food. Holidays. Medals. Veteran issues. Nonsexual intimacy. Caregiving. Competence. Gentleness. Trust. Emotional confusion. Hope. Crowds. Memorials. Mourning. Letting go. Moving on. Photography. Parades. Storytelling. War stories. Nostalgia. Hand-feeding. Heroism. Public speaking. Flashbacks. Friendship. Counseling. Leaving early. Bots. Tony and his bots. Tony Stark loves his bots. The bots are Tony's kids. Bot feels. Bots being cute. Protective bots. Boundary issues. Territoriality. Making friends. Bucky's arm. Tony Stark & Bucky's arm. #coulsonlives
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7.
"Coming in from the Cold: Monday: Memorial Day" Part 8
The robot gave a querulous trill and nudged his hand, then skittered away. Bucky didn't move. DUM-E crept back and took careful hold of Bucky's hand, the powerful claw gripping gently as instructed. The handshake was tentative yet complete. Phil could see the tiny camera lenses shifting to focus on small details of the prosthesis. Then DUM-E let go, turning around to regard Tony with a chirp of curiosity.
"Yeah, Bucky's like me, a cyborg," Tony said. "It's nice not to be alone the way I used to be. I'd like to share the garage with him, but if you're not comfortable with that, let me know. This was your home first."
DUM-E made a thoughtful hum. Then he rolled back to Bucky, grasped his hand again, and tugged gently.
"I guess this means I get to be in the club," Bucky said with a grin as he followed the robot further into the garage.
Phil took a step forward, intending to hand Tony the food next. DUM-E squawked in protest. "One new person at a time, is that it?" Phil said. "All right, then. Bucky, come get Tony's supper, please."
Bucky doubled back for the food. "Tony needs to refuel, DUM-E. We brought him beef stroganoff and white chocolate-macadamia cookies."
Plurk, went DUM-E, and did not interfere with the transfer.
"I'll take the cookies," Tony said, holding out a hand.
"After you finish your supper," Bucky said. He kept the cookies just out of reach and presented the small container of stroganoff instead. "Come on, eat up like a good boy and then Bruce won't nag us."
"Tyrant," Tony grumbled, but opened the tub.
"Yeah, he can be, but we love him anyway," Bucky said.
"I meant you." Tony sampled the stroganoff. "Hey, this is really good. Who cooked?"
"Bruce and Natasha made the main dish. Steve and I baked the cookies. We needed to relax," Bucky said.
"Cool," Tony said. "So hey, look at this." He pointed with his fork to the mess of metal on the workbench. "I got an idea for fixing the wrist, think I can make a two-strut model work, just like a real forearm. That should fix the flexibility problem you have."
Phil couldn't make out the details from where he stood, but he could see Bucky's back stiffen. "It'll jam. Won't it?" Bucky said.
"Not if I build it right, and I will, so trust me," Tony said.
DUM-E rolled up to the bench, his chassis fitting neatly under the empty space beneath it so that he could work comfortably. Sensitive metal fingers nudged the partially constructed device. He gave a crisp chirp.
Bucky leaned over to look where DUM-E was pointing. "Is that ... like a piston, or a shock absorber?"
"Something like that, yeah," Tony said. "I'm experimenting with some different things. The wrist needs to be flexible so that it can accomodate the double strut from the forearm. I'm thinking maybe some parts that slide, and some that compress or expand as a solid mass. I can't just rebuild an anatomical wrist out of metal, it won't work the same as live tissue, so it's got to perform the same functions in more mechanical ways ..."
The two men chatted with enthusiasm while Tony ate. Phil discreetly checked the time. Despite the bumpy day, Bucky seems to have recovered well, Phil thought. He shows more tolerance than usual for discussing the delicate topic of his arm. Most of the time he doesn't recover this fast after bailing out earlier in the same day.
"Okay, you can have your dessert now," Bucky said when Tony handed him the empty container, exchanging it for the cookies wrapped in a paper towel.
Tony rolled his eyes in pleasure as he bit into the first one. "Umm. So good. I love these things." Belatedly he turned back to Bucky and Phil, taking another bite. "You wan' fum?"
"Don't talk with your mouth full, Tony, and no thanks, I'm stuffed. Phil and I ate upstairs," Bucky said.
The white chocolate-macadamia cookies didn't last long. Soon Tony brushed away the crumbs and returned his attention to the project at hand. "So next step, I'm testing fancy polymers and shit for the compression zones. Reed sent me some samples that he thought might work with these rods," Tony said as he opened the long tube that he'd claimed earlier, spilling out lengths of metal. "Somebody find me the right box."
Phil sorted through the packages that Bucky had set on the floor. "I believe this is the box you want," Phil said, holding it up.
Bucky came to get it. "Thanks," he said. Then he lowered his voice. "Sorry about the robotic guard dog not letting you into the work area."
"It's all right," Phil said. "I am aware of DUM-E's reasons for caution, and they are not unfounded, even if he doesn't understand yet that I pose no threat to Tony." DUM-E had seen his father butchered and dying right in front of him, when Tony crawled downstairs after Obie's attack. No wonder the little robot worried so much.
"Oh no, don't you dare!" Tony said. "Put that thing down. You do not need the fire extinguisher, DUM-E, because there is not going to be a fire."
Bucky chuckled as DUM-E danced out of reach while Tony tried to grab the fire extinguisher away from him. "What's the problem, Tony?"
"He sprays me all the time when I'm not on fire," Tony said, making another futile lunge. "It is annoying and he is an overprotective mechanical nanny! Which I do not need."
Phil privately believed that Tony needed more minding than he admitted, but did not say anything aloud. He watched DUM-E continue to keep the fire extinguisher just out of reach. Tony and DUM-E chased each other around the table. Tony was smiling a little, though. At least this way, Tony gets some safe exercise and entertainment, Phil mused.
Bucky frowned. "Tony, how many times have you actually set yourself on fire?"
DUM-E twittered. "Four hundred seventy-two," JARVIS translated.
"That is bullshit," Tony said. "It hasn't been more than a couple dozen. Few dozen. Whatever. Certainly not hundreds."
"DUM-E, can you tell when Tony is about to catch fire, before flames become visible?" Bucky asked in a thoughtful tone.
The bot gave an affirmative chirp, nodding his hand with the fire extinguisher still in place.
Tony froze in the act of reaching for the coveted device. "Sweet JSTOR, I never thought of that," he said. "I am such an asshole. No, worse, I'm a stupid asshole." He smacked himself on the forehead. "I should have thought to check ... I wonder how much of the other dumb shit he does, actually has a reason behind it."
Probably more than anyone has realized, Phil thought. DUM-E thinks differently than the rest of us do, even compared to the other bots, but he is neither stupid nor irrational. He is Tony's son. He's just ... quirky.
DUM-E whirred over the fire extinguisher.
"Yeah, you can keep it, just in case Daddy sets himself almost on fire again," Tony said. "You are my very special snowflake, you know that? Never change."
DUM-E set down the fire extinguisher within easy reach. He nuzzled his metal hand against Tony's shirt. Black oil smeared over the white cloth. Then DUM-E leaned over the workbench where he could assist Tony.
"Bucky, would you like to help too?" Tony offered. "Stay for as long or as short as you want. It's ... um ... speaking from experience, easier to develop a sense of ownership for things you've actually built ..." His hand fluttered over the arc reactor.
Bucky pressed a palm to Tony's chest, just for a moment, and Tony's fingers skimmed over bright metal. "Yeah, I could try that, a few minutes anyway," Bucky said.
"I'll leave you boys to your work, then," Phil said. The atmosphere had turned intimate in a way that made him feel like an eavesdropper. He set the remaining packages in a neat row beside the door. Then Phil headed to the elevator, requesting the common floor. He didn't feel like doing paperwork tonight.
On the way up, Phil mulled over what he had observed. We've been avoiding the garage and workshop most of the time, giving the bots their space, he thought. Maybe we overdid that. Too much avoidance can make matters worse instead of better.
"JARVIS, do you think DUM-E is all right?" Phil asked aloud. "We didn't overstress him by leaving Bucky in his territory, did we? I assume you could tell if something went really wrong."
"All of us are networked together, so yes, I know when DUM-E is in distress," JARVIS replied. "At first he found the intrusion alarming. Now he seems to consider Bucky part of the family."
Phil sighed. "If only it were that easy with those of us who don't happen to be cyborgs," he said.
"You are gentle and thoughtful. I feel confident you will think of a way to reassure DUM-E that you have sir's best interests at heart," JARVIS said.
"This isn't just about me, it's about the whole team," Phil said. "We live here; this is Avengers Tower now. I don't mind giving the bots some private space, but I don't want them to be afraid of us."
This was usually where Tony said "fucking Obie."
"Regrettably Obadiah Stane furnished them with examples of humanity's moral nadir," JARVIS said, his voice cooling. "Ms. Potts and Colonel Rhodes, while loyal to sir, have been ... erratic in their reception of his inorganic family members." Then his tone softened. "Bucky is the first person other than sir who has ever reached out to DUM-E like that, accepted his perceptions as valid, and offered comfort. That gives us more of a foundation to build upon."
It reminded Phil of something. "JARVIS, did you know that DUM-E was responding to workshop fires at the smoulder stage rather than waiting for visible smoke or flames to appear?"
"I did," JARVIS confirmed. "I also tried to explain that to sir, but he was unreceptive and ordered me to desist." The air vents whiffled a mechanical sigh. "On such occasions that he becomes careless enough to cause fires, he is often quite drunk, emotionally overwrought, or otherwise impaired in function. Or all of the above. Of course there are times when an unanticipated reaction occurs, but that happens less often. Sir is excitable, but he is a gifted engineer and not prone to making sloppy mistakes."
Four hundred seventy-two.
Oh, Tony.
Phil was suddenly, fiercely glad that Bruce had finagled a promise from Tony about the proper treatment of work-related injuries. "I think that Tony might benefit from a semi-permeable boundary on the garage level," Phil said. "The other Avengers could visit him more often, even if it's just a matter of carrying materials or bringing food down to him. That should help DUM-E get used to the rest of the team and learn that we all care about Tony too."
"I concur," JARVIS said. "I believe it would benefit sir as well as DUM-E. Sir needs to hear that he is accepted and appreciated, but sometimes he becomes uncomfortable with overt displays."
"You think that a more oblique approach would appeal to him more, like people interacting with DUM-E," said Phil. It made sense. Tony craved affection, but he had so many experiences of betrayal that it was no wonder such words made him nervous. Hence his efforts to buy friendship, which in turn made some of the other Avengers uneasy.
"It seems worthy of the attempt," JARVIS said. "We have reached the common floor." The elevator doors opened.
* * *
Notes:
Robots can indeed be taught to shake hands.
Shyness can have positive or negative aspects. It's normal for children around ages 3-6, which is about how DUM-E seems. He alternates between enthusiastic, protective, and hesitant. Coping techniques for shy children include introducing one new person or activity at a time. Also, despite what some people say, it's perfectly okay to say, "He's shy." There's nothing wrong with being shy! It's only a problem if it makes someone unhappy. So follow the explanation with a hint how people can help: "Let him watch before joining in. Then he might like to help set up the supplies." Shy children will do a lot better if people avoid overloading them, and if they have fun instead of feeling harassed, they are more likely participate enthusiastically in the future. Overstimulation is a risk for young children and those with special needs.
Buildings and furniture need to be designed to accommodate someone who travels on wheels. For example, tables and desks need roll-under space. Tony's workspaces tend to be accessible because of the bots, but also because he likes to zoom around in a wheeled office chair, and because it's not rare for him to get injured enough to impair mobility.
Lab fire safety involved a number of precautions. Make sure to have the right safety equipment. Bruce's bargain with Tony included buffing up the lab safety protocols and equipment.
Avoidance of stressful situations can have positive or negative effects. The troublesome version is associated with PTSD. However, you don't have to eat the eggplant. When is avoidance good? When you can lower your stress by skipping things that don't give you a benefit. When is avoidance bad? When you are avoiding things that you really need to do, or freaking out over things that are difficult or impossible to avoid. In this case -- as often happens -- the bots avoiding people worked for a while but later became less effective and more of an obstacle. That's when you need to work on reducing avoidance. Here are some helpful worksheets.
Loving your children requires knowing what their love language is. Otherwise they have trouble feeling loved. Tony's outbound love language is gifts, but his inbound is words.
[To be concluded in Part 9 ...]
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-06 10:23 am (UTC)(In response to this: "Tony and DUM-E chased each other around the table. Tony was smiling a little, though. At least this way, Tony gets some safe exercise and entertainment, Phil mused.")
Also, I'm really glad that Tony admitted his mistake in front of Dum-E and apologized quickly. Too often (I think) parents will admit their mistakes to other adults, but never in front of their kids, who need to hear it the most.
Thank you!
Date: 2015-07-06 06:25 pm (UTC)(In response to this: "Tony and DUM-E chased each other around the table. Tony was smiling a little, though. At least this way, Tony gets some safe exercise and entertainment, Phil mused.") <<
I'm glad you found that scene so touching.
>> Also, I'm really glad that Tony admitted his mistake in front of Dum-E and apologized quickly. Too often (I think) parents will admit their mistakes to other adults, but never in front of their kids, who need to hear it the most. <<
Yes, that's true. Tony still isn't very good at apologies, and often leaves out parts. But his heart's in the right place, and he keeps trying. He's definitely making progress.
Re: Thank you!
Date: 2015-07-06 06:52 pm (UTC)Re: Thank you!
Date: 2015-07-06 07:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-06 03:47 pm (UTC)Aww...
Date: 2015-07-06 07:13 pm (UTC)That's adorable!
>> who was either abused by or undersocialized with men before I found her as a stray 7 weeks ago. She has a complicated (but improving) relationship with my husband, and loves to shake hands. <<
I did use some research about abused pets as inspiration for how the bots behave and ways of making friends with them. So U and Butterfingers are really skittish and still tend to hide from new people. DUM-E is exuberant with Tony, but variously skittish or territorial and protective about other people.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-06 04:14 pm (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-07 12:47 am (UTC)Thank you!
>> Dum-E is a sweetheart protecting Tony. <<
Sooth.
>> But again seeing Tony swing between insults, and calling him his special snowflake and telling him to never change. You can...get a pretty good idea of his own childhood from that. <<
Yes, exactly.
>> Being yelled at one moment, then maybe praised(at least in public) for building an engine as a tiny kid, then yelled at for being somewhere he's not wanted, etc... <<
There are hints of this in canon, with Howard pushing Tony away one minute and calling him his "greatest creation" the next. WTF Howard, you gigantic dick, that's a little boy not a flying car. >_<
>>he's working on it, and he obviously loves his boys like crazy, but he's got so, so, so much bad tape from his childhood, <<
True about the bad tape! I'm hoping to do more with that later.
>> and even he can forget sometimes bots have different senses, so Dum-E IS actually putting out fires before there's obvious jumping flames. <<
As JARVIS points out, Tony has spent a lot of time with impaired thinking for various reasons. That makes it hard to catch everything, especially when he snaps at other people to stop telling him about it.
>> Oh and I adored Dum-E nuzzling him. Ha I love cuddly bots. <<
Yay! I don't think that Pepper realizes how motor oil is Tony's equivalent of having baby barf on his shirt.
>> I hope the plan of slowly, casually getting more people around the bots works. <<
It should. I have some notes for later expansions of that. I'm glad that everyone is enjoying this!
>>Avoiding worked well when Tony lived alone and had between no and two friends who ever came down to their space, but now Tony lives 24/7 with a team full of people who care about him, and what he cares about.<<
Exactly. The hellish thing about PTSD is that it hamstrings your ability to adapt as circumstances change. You're trapped in the past. Often things that used to work will stop working as other things change around them. Without that flexibility, you're kind of screwed. So the team needs to help DUM-E and the other bots learn that the Avengers are safe company -- and more importantly, that they are good for Tony so it's not just JARVIS and the bots taking care of him anymore. That has been a very compelling argument for JARVIS.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-07 01:13 am (UTC)I loved that scene from the first Iron Man movie, though. :)
Yes...
Date: 2015-07-07 01:22 am (UTC)I imagine that DUM-E is the reason why Tony still has as much skin as he does. And the fire extinguisher is probably what taught him to be proactively protective of Tony.
"Squeeze this handle if I am on fire" likely led DUM-E to ask JARVIS, "What does 'on fire' mean?" followed by a discussion of thermodynamics and DUM-E setting his standard a little below the temperature at which human skin would sustain damage, which is often well below flame ignition -- you can singe yourself on things that are just smouldering.
So then, after the incident where DUM-E had to bring Tony the replacement arc reactor, DUM-E was able to parse "keep people away from Daddy before they rip out his battery." But not so much with distinguishing who is a credible threat or not. He doesn't have enough data yet.
>> I loved that scene from the first Iron Man movie, though. :) <<
So did I. But it also says something very sad about Tony: "For lack of better options, DUM-E is still on fire control." There is literally nobody whom Tony trusts more than DUM-E to run the fire extinguisher. :(
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-06 04:49 pm (UTC)Yay!
Date: 2015-07-06 06:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-06 06:48 pm (UTC)Yes...
Date: 2015-07-07 05:50 am (UTC)They need the company, Tony and his whole botfamily. It's okay to be an introvert. It's not really healthy to have no interaction or to shut yourself away from the outside world. Sometimes it's necessary, if you're surrounded by psychos, but always keep an eye out for people who do more good than harm.
>>and Tony's listening a little more to his kids!<<
They also need to have their concerns validated and addressed, not blown off, whether it's about territory or fire safety. These are good conversation to be having, even if there's a bit nerve-wracking.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-06 09:03 pm (UTC)I'm surprised at how much instruction Tony accepts from Bucky with minimal grumbling ("Supper before cookies, don't talk with your mouth full").
And I'm very proud of Bucky for being able to discuss the arm with Tony more.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-06 10:21 pm (UTC)GS
Well...
Date: 2015-07-06 10:53 pm (UTC)Second, consider that some of those points apply to the other Avengers as well. They all required a high level of trust from Bucky immediately; there way no way around that, especially after the fiasco at SHIELD. By letting Bucky do his big brother routine, they make it easier for him to accept guidance from them in other ways.
Bruce has found Bucky's willingness to cuddle him very appealing. Bruce has therefore made a lot of progress on his aversion to soldiers, refining it down to "some soldiers are not safe, but these ones are." Bruce's acceptance of Bucky's big brother mode has contributed to Bucky's acceptance of Bruce's authority on medical matters. It's an exchange of influence based on them doing different things well.
Clint desperately misses Barney, even though Barney was an abusive dick. Bucky makes a much better big brother, which helps fill some of the gap.
That doesn't mean people always accept Bucky's authority. Tony threw an absolute fit over in it "Hide and Seek." Other times it's more a matter of backtalk or roughhousing.
Thank you!
Date: 2015-07-06 10:44 pm (UTC)Yay! Tony has been striving to learn more about boundaries. Sometimes it is easier to do that by teaching someone else. It is vitally important for the bots to have safe space that is private for them, just as everyone else does. The fact that new people have started wandering all over what used to be private space is a significant part of what's bothering them. So this will help. There are more ideas on this topic later.
>> I'm surprised at how much instruction Tony accepts from Bucky with minimal grumbling ("Supper before cookies, don't talk with your mouth full"). <<
There are times when Tony will sass him, because Tony sasses everyone.
The reasons for Tony accepting this kind of input from Bucky include ...
* Tony was an only child and that was very lonesome for him. He daydreamed about having a brother. Bucky makes an excellent big brother. Sometimes Tony fusses at him, but other times welcomes the attention. It's not like Tony had many people expressing concern for him growing up. :(
* Back when Bucky first came to the Tower, it was crucial to establish trust immediately. They didn't have time for a slow build. So Tony essentially bought Bucky's trust by first extending his own.
* Bucky is also going out of his way to be gentle with DUM-E. He is the first person to do that. So Tony has that motivation to be nice to Bucky in return.
* Right now, Tony also wants Bucky to help with the replacement arm. Squabbling would be counterproductive to that.
>> And I'm very proud of Bucky for being able to discuss the arm with Tony more. <<
Bucky's tolerance for that topic is growing, partly because Tony keeps the pressure as low as possible, tries to make it fun, and offers perks for participation. Outside of that first emergency, Bucky can always tap out when he exceeds his capacity to cope with this topic. So over time, his envelope of tolerance is gradually expanding.
Besides, Bucky is a mechanic. Get past the craptastic HYDRA associations, and the concept of a mechanical arm fascinates him. He likes watching Tony work. He likes seeing how the pieces go together. Tony has aptly pinpointed -- from painful personal experience -- that a major part of Bucky's problem comes from HYDRA placing the prosthesis without his permission or input. So making choices about the new one is hard, but very rewarding.
Re: Thank you!
Date: 2015-07-08 01:25 pm (UTC)Re: Thank you!
Date: 2015-07-10 07:47 am (UTC)That makes sense. Tony was willing to go along with it. If he wasn't willing -- well, all he has to do is leave and get his own dessert somewhere else. At the end of a long day, he's tired enough that it's easier to give in than to argue or hunt elsewhere.
>> No nag, just "I care about you, eat the meal first, I trust you with the cookie." <<
I think that the Avengers have noticed that Tony dislikes nagging and it doesn't work on him. Bruce gets whiny sometimes, but Tony likes him well enough that he can get away with it to some extent.
>> And, Bucky has always had a good Charisma roll, <<
:D He rolled well with DUM-E too.
>> see tiny Steve (who like an Irish saint is but a ball of anger banded in sinew.) <<
Steve is an Irish saint.
Re: Thank you!
Date: 2015-07-11 02:15 am (UTC)I do wish the comedy beat of 'nagging nanny' had been avoided in the movies. I'm choosing in my own Tony/Pepper to give her better tactical-- she's grown, or at least is trying to.
Dum-e feels a kinship.
Irish-American. (or, American built with Irish labor. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2015-07-07 02:35 am (UTC)I second what everyone else has said about DUM-E and Bucky and Tony. The idea that DUM-E has been putting out fires before they were even visible is brilliant - I love the idea that the "dumb shit" DUM-E does (although that phrase does make me wince) is just the fact that DUM-E has different senses and such than we have - not that he's incompetent. I like how Tony calling DUM-E a "special snowflake" was sincere this chapter, even if it was sort of self-deprecating (DUM-E-deprecating?) in the previous chapter). I like that Tony checked with DUM-E whether it was okay for Bucky to be there, and that Phil checked with JARVIS.
And regarding your response comment about the motor oil being like baby barf - for some reason, that just really stuck with me. The idea that so often, it may look like Tony's just a mess, but it's actually because he's been cuddling with his bot babies, and he cares more about them than he does about his clothes.
Thoughts
Date: 2015-07-07 07:32 am (UTC):D
>> The idea that DUM-E has been putting out fires before they were even visible is brilliant <<
Thank you!
>> I love the idea that the "dumb shit" DUM-E does (although that phrase does make me wince) is just the fact that DUM-E has different senses and such than we have - not that he's incompetent. <<
It made sense to me that there must be more to DUM-E than meets the eye, because he's so far above our robots and AI systems -- he has feelings, he can follow casual verbal directions about as well as a small child, he spontaneously responds to things happening around him, and so forth. And he is Tony Stark's son.
>> I like how Tony calling DUM-E a "special snowflake" was sincere this chapter, even if it was sort of self-deprecating (DUM-E-deprecating?) in the previous chapter). <<
I think it's the same defensive mechanism of cutting something down yourself before other people can do it for you. :( But it still has an aspect of fondness.
>>I like that Tony checked with DUM-E whether it was okay for Bucky to be there, and that Phil checked with JARVIS. <<
Sooth. Everyone needs some private space, needs to have a say in who comes into their home or their room. It's complicated with the bots because Tony just does not organize public/private space like most humans do. His bedroom is only semi-private (or even semi-public) but his lab and workshop are private and he lets almost nobody in there. Except for the fact that the workshop is adjacent to the garage, which is how he wound up crash-landing on his cars that time. 0_o It was okay as long as Tony was almost the only person coming and going, aside from occasional visits from Pepper and Rhodey and Obie which is why the bots are justifiably skittish. Now there are a bunch more people, which raises the garage traffic a lot, and if they don't respect the bots' space then that's a problem.
People really need to start renegotiating parameters to account for these changes.
>>And regarding your response comment about the motor oil being like baby barf - for some reason, that just really stuck with me. The idea that so often, it may look like Tony's just a mess, but it's actually because he's been cuddling with his bot babies, and he cares more about them than he does about his clothes.
:D I'm glad that came through. Tony really loves them. For years they were the only healthy contact that he got. Sure he had people to shag, but that's not the same thing as cuddling. At all. And Rhodey doesn't care for cuddling much, you can see him stiffening up when Tony drapes over him. DUM-E's cuddling helped keep Tony sane. Ish.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-11-01 06:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2018-11-01 06:37 pm (UTC)