![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk," and "kintsukuroi."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26. Skip to Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 27
The final exam for Special Operations is ruthless. It starts with the usual rounds of running, crawling under razor wire, and shooting at targets that shoot back. Anyone who gets painted is eliminated. They go through an obstacle course on the ground and another in the treetops. They get ambushed. Their supposed safehouse has been compromised and Phil has to hack a computer to get the address of the next one. Which contains yet another ambush.
They make it to the harbor and take charge of their designated boat, which they set on its outlined course -- only to have the crew turn on them and toss everyone into the water over a mile from shore. "If you make it to the beach, you qualify," the captain shouts as they tread water. "Start swimming!"
It's choppy today, hot but blustery, and Phil struggles to stay afloat as the waves slap him around. He's already exhausted from the previous tests. This is the last one, though. He can get through this.
Phil collapses, panting, onto the sand as soon as he reaches the beach. Now only his head is swimming. This is so much better. I'm done. I made it! Wow. Phil watches a crab sidle past him and smiles.
"All right, everybody up for a 10k run!"
WHAT?
Phil's mind short-circuits for a second. He hot-wires it back into action and forces himself to his feet. The sand moves in queasy motions underneath him. Oh that is just not fair.
Phil sweeps a bleary gaze over the beach, looking for route markers. He doesn't see any. Dozens of men still lie comatose on the ground. Only eight others are standing, and one of them is puking up seawater. He doesn't fall, though. Phil rather admires that.
Sand crunches as a tall black man strides into view. "This one," he says, slapping a heavy hand on Phil's shoulder.
Phil faceplants into the sand. Well, that's a great first impression. He spits out seaweed, shoves hard against the weight of the world, and staggers upright again.
"You're shitting me, Nick Fury," says the testing officer.
"Nope. You owe me a favor, said I could take the pick of the litter," says the stranger. His eyes are dark and piercing. He looks like an obsidian column against the baleful heat of the sun, motionless except for the slow flap of his trenchcoat in the breeze.
"And you want the runt?"
Steve Rogers was a runt once, too. Phil bares his teeth at the two men.
"I've got more than enough trained beef. What I need is someone small and sneaky, who looks like a paper-pusher but can kick ass like a motherfucking mule," says Fury. Then he turns to Phil. "What do you say? Ready for that 10k run?"
"Y'sir," Phil slurs. It'll kill him, but he will by god die with his boots on.
Fury laughs, the bastard. "There is no run. Relax, you qualify. We just wanted to see who could drag themselves to their feet after one last kick in the teeth."
"Oh," Phil says, and recruits his voice for one last effort. "Fuck you, sir."
Then he passes out, but Fury catches him on the way down.
* * *
Notes:
Paintball is one way the Marines simulate live-fire combat.
Mindfuck is a nickname for psychological manipulation. Know how to deal with headgames. The Marines have some wonderful advice on leadership and mental stamina, including, "When all else fails, click your weapon off safe and make something happen." Yeah, we saw that in The Avengers. There are tips on how to develop willpower and build mental toughness.
It's easy to underestimate Phil, even though he's a badass, because he's small and quiet. He knows how to take advantage of it, though.
[To be continued in Part 28 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26. Skip to Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 27
The final exam for Special Operations is ruthless. It starts with the usual rounds of running, crawling under razor wire, and shooting at targets that shoot back. Anyone who gets painted is eliminated. They go through an obstacle course on the ground and another in the treetops. They get ambushed. Their supposed safehouse has been compromised and Phil has to hack a computer to get the address of the next one. Which contains yet another ambush.
They make it to the harbor and take charge of their designated boat, which they set on its outlined course -- only to have the crew turn on them and toss everyone into the water over a mile from shore. "If you make it to the beach, you qualify," the captain shouts as they tread water. "Start swimming!"
It's choppy today, hot but blustery, and Phil struggles to stay afloat as the waves slap him around. He's already exhausted from the previous tests. This is the last one, though. He can get through this.
Phil collapses, panting, onto the sand as soon as he reaches the beach. Now only his head is swimming. This is so much better. I'm done. I made it! Wow. Phil watches a crab sidle past him and smiles.
"All right, everybody up for a 10k run!"
WHAT?
Phil's mind short-circuits for a second. He hot-wires it back into action and forces himself to his feet. The sand moves in queasy motions underneath him. Oh that is just not fair.
Phil sweeps a bleary gaze over the beach, looking for route markers. He doesn't see any. Dozens of men still lie comatose on the ground. Only eight others are standing, and one of them is puking up seawater. He doesn't fall, though. Phil rather admires that.
Sand crunches as a tall black man strides into view. "This one," he says, slapping a heavy hand on Phil's shoulder.
Phil faceplants into the sand. Well, that's a great first impression. He spits out seaweed, shoves hard against the weight of the world, and staggers upright again.
"You're shitting me, Nick Fury," says the testing officer.
"Nope. You owe me a favor, said I could take the pick of the litter," says the stranger. His eyes are dark and piercing. He looks like an obsidian column against the baleful heat of the sun, motionless except for the slow flap of his trenchcoat in the breeze.
"And you want the runt?"
Steve Rogers was a runt once, too. Phil bares his teeth at the two men.
"I've got more than enough trained beef. What I need is someone small and sneaky, who looks like a paper-pusher but can kick ass like a motherfucking mule," says Fury. Then he turns to Phil. "What do you say? Ready for that 10k run?"
"Y'sir," Phil slurs. It'll kill him, but he will by god die with his boots on.
Fury laughs, the bastard. "There is no run. Relax, you qualify. We just wanted to see who could drag themselves to their feet after one last kick in the teeth."
"Oh," Phil says, and recruits his voice for one last effort. "Fuck you, sir."
Then he passes out, but Fury catches him on the way down.
* * *
Notes:
Paintball is one way the Marines simulate live-fire combat.
Mindfuck is a nickname for psychological manipulation. Know how to deal with headgames. The Marines have some wonderful advice on leadership and mental stamina, including, "When all else fails, click your weapon off safe and make something happen." Yeah, we saw that in The Avengers. There are tips on how to develop willpower and build mental toughness.
It's easy to underestimate Phil, even though he's a badass, because he's small and quiet. He knows how to take advantage of it, though.
[To be continued in Part 28 ...]
Oh, wow!
Date: 2014-08-01 05:53 am (UTC)I can picture the whole scene, right down to the passing out.
Just made my night, you did!
Re: Oh, wow!
Date: 2014-08-01 06:00 am (UTC)Thank you!
>> I can picture the whole scene, right down to the passing out. <<
I laugh every time I re-read it. I wanted to show how Phil, now with new improved training, has gotten to where he can ignore physical limits. Which means he goes until he goes splat.
I also wanted to introduce Nick Fury as a positive, insightful character ... who always did have a tendency to dick with people's heads a bit, which just got worse over time. But in the beginning, he was a great friend and Phil adored him. Phil still does, really, but the relationship had taken on a layer of abuse that also makes him uncomfortable, especially when Nick hurts someone else.
>> Just made my night, you did! <<
*happydance*
Re: Oh, wow!
Date: 2014-08-01 10:15 am (UTC)"That's not the runt. That's the control module."
I've got a series where Steve Rogers came out of Project Rebirth ready to demolish the then standing Olympic records in various incompatible sports. Still 5'4". Col Phillips assigns Peggy to figure out just how to use that fact, because he's damned if he just sticks such an expensive gear where perfectly healthy small men already are sufficient.
Re: Oh, wow!
Date: 2014-08-01 08:09 pm (UTC)Yes, exactly.
>> "That's not the runt. That's the control module." <<
*laugh* So very true.
>> I've got a series where Steve Rogers came out of Project Rebirth ready to demolish the then standing Olympic records in various incompatible sports. Still 5'4". Col Phillips assigns Peggy to figure out just how to use that fact, because he's damned if he just sticks such an expensive gear where perfectly healthy small men already are sufficient. <<
I love that approach.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-08-01 05:58 am (UTC)I also like the imagery of Phil pressing against the weight of the world to stand up.
Thank you!
Date: 2014-08-01 09:35 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked it.
>> I also like the imagery of Phil pressing against the weight of the world to stand up. <<
When you're completely exhausted, it feels like something is mashing you flat to the ground.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-08-01 11:13 am (UTC)What is Fury doing with a trench coat on the beach? What a way to stand out. I'd arrest him on general suspicion of being up to no good if I was a police officer and run his face through a list looking for flashers.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-08-01 09:27 pm (UTC)Jessica
(no subject)
Date: 2014-08-01 09:29 pm (UTC)Jessica again
Yes...
Date: 2014-08-02 03:09 am (UTC)Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-08-02 03:53 am (UTC)Jessica
Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-08-02 04:16 am (UTC)Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-08-05 04:37 pm (UTC)Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-08-02 11:48 am (UTC)Phil looks like a bank clerk or an accountant, one that bikes, maybe runs with a dog. Drop him in with a bunch of strapping 6'3"+ ala Brock, and he looks tiny. Not as tiny as Steve at the induction center (and was that supposed to be one near Princeton?)
Salon a number of years back had an essay about how women could look comparatively small and delicate without really being either, when the men were gentle slabs of beef, but it gets Procrustean if the men change and the relative standard remains. (Compare Spencer Tracy and Alan Alda.)
Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-08-03 07:22 am (UTC)I have not seen that yet, but we have the first season on DVD.
>> Phil looks like a bank clerk or an accountant, one that bikes, maybe runs with a dog. Drop him in with a bunch of strapping 6'3"+ ala Brock, and he looks tiny. Not as tiny as Steve at the induction center (and was that supposed to be one near Princeton?) <<
True.
>> Salon a number of years back had an essay about how women could look comparatively small and delicate without really being either, when the men were gentle slabs of beef, but it gets Procrustean if the men change and the relative standard remains. (Compare Spencer Tracy and Alan Alda.) <<
Hmm, interesting.
Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-08-03 01:11 pm (UTC)I'd say Michael Shanks goes a bit barrel, though with more six-pack that is classic.
Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-01 09:39 pm (UTC)Coulson is average size, compared to the whole population. Marines, like the heavy hitters of the Avengers, are both taller and bulkier than average. Coulson simply doesn't have that kind of height, and doesn't bulk up as readily, so put him in a crowd of the Special Ops candidates and he looks like a runt in comparison.
>> What is Fury doing with a trench coat on the beach? What a way to stand out. <<
Well, he obviously didn't walk or swim there. It's a hint that he just came from somewhere else, presumably colder, but the trenchcoat also happens to be quite sensible protection on a windy beach. Flying sand will take your skin right off, and it doesn't take a whole lot of air movement to become unpleasant. Anyhow, Fury probably came from a helicarrier or other aircraft.
>> I'd arrest him on general suspicion of being up to no good if I was a police officer and run his face through a list looking for flashers. <<
*laugh* He just wanted to look like a total BAMF that day.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-02 12:52 am (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-05 11:45 am (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-05 04:33 pm (UTC)But, yes, some time with a mime would help.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-28 10:27 pm (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-29 01:03 am (UTC)"Cheese, of everything, that's the scariest. Or enjoying paperwork, toss-up there."
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-29 01:09 am (UTC)Yes, exactly.
>> "Cheese, of everything, that's the scariest. Or enjoying paperwork, toss-up there." <<
*laugh* Nailed it.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-29 01:39 am (UTC)If they could train other Marines how to stop 'looking like a Marine' on need, they'd probably offer up eye-teeth.
Deadly is dime a dozen, but also looking mostly harmless? Priceless. (Bucky:Color me impressed.)
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-29 01:47 am (UTC)That makes sense.
*chuckle* It's why officer's insignia became less conspicuous over the centuries. A big red crest made you a fucking spear magnet.
>> If they could train other Marines how to stop 'looking like a Marine' on need, they'd probably offer up eye-teeth. <<
There are ways, but it's difficult. The skills to be dangerous and appear harmless rarely coexist in the same person. They can be taught, but there's an underlying talent issue too.
It's similar to the problem SHIELD is having with medics: you can get people who are brilliant at health care, or tolerant of shadow work, but to get both you typically have to accept a lower quality of each.
>> Deadly is dime a dozen, but also looking mostly harmless? Priceless. (Bucky:Color me impressed.) <<
Sooth.
Even in this piece-of-crap body, a truly observant person will clock me. Most people make the mistake of thinking I'm harmless, but that's because they're not good observers, sometimes even if trained. The clues are there, unless I go out of my way to hide them.
Now, granted, I could clock Phil too. His remaining tells are a lot the same as mine: that subtle air of alertness, the lack of a panic button, just plain not being scared by things that would rattle most people. But he's capitalizing on the fact that a majority of people see the surface, not the content, and it works.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-29 02:50 am (UTC)How good is he at clocking the people that have clocked him? (I was just pondering Bucky using people's willingness to see what they expect once he's not a puppet strung along. "Tony, don't even say 'Geppeto'.")
The obviousness of insignia is in inverse ratio to range of weaponry.
Some Marines would Stick Out just because of build and coloration. Steve and Natasha's run was assisted in that there are more men Steve's height than there used to be (in his day, he'd have to have hewn to Ivy Leagues or Midwest colleges (consistent feeding or stock that runs big) to hide en masse (now deception, as in blaring center of attention, that might work...)) And the talents to become deadly aren't the same as to deftly social engineer; to find both is rather like why you'd make a perfectly fine fighter pilot into Special Ops. (Jack O'Neill)
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2014-08-28 10:31 pm (UTC)That's possible.
>> Fury would definitely look over dressed. <<
Fortunately they aren't in public view. There are private beaches.
>> Also a young Coulson couldn't blend in with the bland and harmless as easily -- he's not middle aged and balding and in a suit. He would have to work to disguise the young, fit, and trained body, and work even harder to disguise the air of alertness and observation. He could still be a young man of average size, average shape, normal clothes, not looking particularly strange or dangerous but he would have to put some thought into it. <<
He can do it, but as you say, it'll take a little extra work until the spit-polish wears off a bit.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-08-01 01:22 pm (UTC)"Oh," Phil says, and recruits his voice for one last effort. "Fuck you, sir."
Lol. I love it.
-ER
Yay!
Date: 2014-08-02 01:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-08-01 02:30 pm (UTC)"Y'sir," Phil slurs. It'll kill him, but he will by god die with his boots on.
Fury laughs, the bastard. "There is no run. Relax, you qualify. We just wanted to see who could drag themselves to their feet after one last kick in the teeth."
"Oh," Phil says, and recruits his voice for one last effort. "Fuck you, sir."
Then he passes out, but Fury catches him on the way down.
*laughing like a loon* Oh yes, this! Especially Phil's last line. And I bet he's one of the few to get away with that.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-08-02 01:00 am (UTC)Col. Phillips: I saw that man when a bucket of water was stronger. And damn if he didn't surprise me every time I took my eyes off him. Rogers is your worst nightmare. Someone that thinks. All. The. Time.
Yes...
Date: 2014-08-02 03:06 am (UTC)I don't think Fury has yet realized the amount of trouble he keeps poking with a sharp stick.
>> Col. Phillips: I saw that man when a bucket of water was stronger. And damn if he didn't surprise me every time I took my eyes off him. Rogers is your worst nightmare. Someone that thinks. All. The. Time. <<
*chuckle* Well said.
Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-08-02 11:29 am (UTC)He looks at Steve seeing with a modern lens, makes some further misestimations because Steve is from the past, and completely forgets
Steve simply walked into Mordor, grabbed the ring and with 400+ POWs returned through enemy territory.
And yes, Fury probably even with Project Insight waterlogged in the Potomac doesn't get that Steve is all that and a plate of oysters. If he'd had to, he'd have gone off with little more than a sharp shell.
Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-08-03 07:32 am (UTC)True.
>> He looks at Steve seeing with a modern lens, makes some further misestimations because Steve is from the past, and completely forgets <<
One of Steve's greatest strengths has always been matched with Phil's: people underestimate them. Even when Steve is huge, they go from seeing him as dismissable fluff to brainless beef.
>> Steve simply walked into Mordor, grabbed the ring and with 400+ POWs returned through enemy territory. <<
It's easy to forget that he's one of those rare people who isn't impressed by absolute power.
>> And yes, Fury probably even with Project Insight waterlogged in the Potomac doesn't get that Steve is all that and a plate of oysters. If he'd had to, he'd have gone off with little more than a sharp shell. <<
The clue, he has it not.
Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-08-03 08:38 am (UTC)Re: Yes...
Date: 2014-08-03 10:17 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2014-08-02 03:21 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked it.
>> And I bet he's one of the few to get away with that. <<
Honestly, if I were grading that test, I'd have given him extra credit for it. If you're picking men who can take a beating and still spit in your face, then you can't blame them for doing exactly that -- you'll wind up with a pack of pussies instead.
Re: Thank you!
Date: 2014-08-02 03:44 am (UTC)Sorry to ask - I assume you don't mean it in the misogynist way, because honestly, everything you write (I've reviewed before that I generally can trust what you're going to write), but it just jumped out at me in a weird way.
On another note, I loved this chapter. I love that Phil just kept going, that Fury picked him, his line about how Steve Rogers was a runt, too. I love this series.
Re: Thank you!
Date: 2014-08-02 04:02 am (UTC)I was thinking in Soldier, so it was derogatory. It's not something I usually say; in real life, vaginas are extremely tough organs. Sorry for the dissonance.
>> On another note, I loved this chapter. I love that Phil just kept going, that Fury picked him, his line about how Steve Rogers was a runt, too. I love this series. <<
Yay! I'm glad you liked that. Those are connections to later aspects of canon -- this scene really plays into how Phil interacts with Nick, Steve, and Loki in the movies.
Re: Thank you!
Date: 2014-08-02 11:56 am (UTC)Re: Thank you!
Date: 2014-08-05 05:22 am (UTC)Re: Thank you!
Date: 2014-08-05 04:42 pm (UTC)pack of panties is semi-scatalogical. Now, they could be organized or they could be waiting for the wash. Lots of ways to work it. ;)