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ysabetwordsmithThis story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk," and "kintsukuroi."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1. Skip to Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 2
Just before Alexa comes home from the hospital, Mom sits with Flip on the couch and explains some things. "You know Alexa was hurt very badly, and she's getting better," Mom says. "The sad part is, she won't ever be the same as she was before the accident."
"Neither will we," Flip says softly. His chest still hurts whenever he thinks about Dad.
"I suppose that's true," Mom says. "You need to understand that Alexa ... may not be much like a big sister anymore. She may be more like a little sister instead."
"What does that mean?" Flip asks, nibbling on his lip.
"Alexa needs a lot of extra help to do things that she used to be able to do for herself," Mom says. "I won't have quite as much time to spend with you, and for that I am truly sorry. I hope that you can be patient with us while we figure things out."
Flip feels sad and scared and terribly lost. He is also determined to do whatever it takes to keep his family together. "Okay," he says, not because anything is, but because he will find a way to make it okay again. Someday.
So Flip waits and he watches. He sees his sister come home and sleep in the complicated new bed that takes the place of her old canopy. He listens to her crying when she can't remember that the tag goes in the back, and she takes a long time to relearn how to work buttons. She tries to brush her hair over the scar on her left temple, but it never stays. She mumbles when she talks. The books that once made her a straight-A student now gather dust.
When Flip folds the laundry, he makes sure the tags show on Alexa's clothes. He puts away things without buttons in the front of the drawers and things with buttons in the back. Alexa hugs just as well as ever, though.
Flip notices that his mother hurries more and smiles less and falls asleep on the couch more afternoons than not. She doesn't do knitting, quilting, or other crafts as much as she used to. It's hard because Dad isn't there to help Mom with the grownup things anymore. She stays home to take care of Alexa. Money is tight. Time is even tighter.
There aren't as many chances to play with other boys, but Flip doesn't care much about that. He doesn't like all the same games they do anyway; he has more fun playing with his sister and her friends, or did before the accident. Flip doesn't know what to do. He feels nervous, which makes him bite his nails, which he knows he's not supposed to do, but he can't help it. Everything seems out of place now.
Flip thinks hard about what is wrong and how he can fix it. Sometimes Mom gets so busy with Alexa that she has no time left for anything else. Flip does his chores carefully but the rest of them just don't always get done. The house looks ... not horrible, but dingy and sad. It makes Flip feel shabby too.
* * *
Notes:
This is Flip. I found his picture in one of the brain damage articles below.
Traumatic Brain Injury can result from various kinds of head wound. Compare the functions of the left and right sides of the brain, and you can see why Alexa's injury reduced her intellectual faculties but left her intuitive ones intact. There are ways to cope with the effects. Read what TBI survivors want you to know about their condition and how their caregivers feel. Know how to help someone with a brain injury.
It can be hard to explain TBI to children. Flip's mother chooses a good metaphor, that Alexa may be more like a younger sister now. Here are tips for different age ranges. Watch a video about telling children. Know how to help children cope with the changes that TBI brings to a family.
Forming a post-trauma identity is a vital step in recovery from any major upset. Here's a radio show on trauma and identity. Some people don't realize this and flounder, trying to regain their lost identity. Others, like Flip, spontaneously recognize that life will never be the same.
Clutter and depression can form a vicious cycle. There are ways to clean house while depressed or otherwise drained.
[To be continued in Part 3 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Nick Fury
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Minor character death. Bullying. Fighting. Suicide attempt (minor character).
Summary: This is the story of how a little boy named Flip grows up to save the world a lot.
Notes: Hurt/comfort. Family. Fluff and angst. Accidents. Emotional whump. Disability. Sibling relationship. Nonsexual love. Parentification. Manipulation. Coping skills. Asking for help and getting it. Hope. Protection. Caregiving. Competence. Toys and games. Comic books. Fixing things. Martial arts. Gentleness. Trust. Role models. Military. BAMF Phil Coulson.
Begin with Part 1. Skip to Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7.
"Little and Broken, but Still Good" Part 2
Just before Alexa comes home from the hospital, Mom sits with Flip on the couch and explains some things. "You know Alexa was hurt very badly, and she's getting better," Mom says. "The sad part is, she won't ever be the same as she was before the accident."
"Neither will we," Flip says softly. His chest still hurts whenever he thinks about Dad.
"I suppose that's true," Mom says. "You need to understand that Alexa ... may not be much like a big sister anymore. She may be more like a little sister instead."
"What does that mean?" Flip asks, nibbling on his lip.
"Alexa needs a lot of extra help to do things that she used to be able to do for herself," Mom says. "I won't have quite as much time to spend with you, and for that I am truly sorry. I hope that you can be patient with us while we figure things out."
Flip feels sad and scared and terribly lost. He is also determined to do whatever it takes to keep his family together. "Okay," he says, not because anything is, but because he will find a way to make it okay again. Someday.
So Flip waits and he watches. He sees his sister come home and sleep in the complicated new bed that takes the place of her old canopy. He listens to her crying when she can't remember that the tag goes in the back, and she takes a long time to relearn how to work buttons. She tries to brush her hair over the scar on her left temple, but it never stays. She mumbles when she talks. The books that once made her a straight-A student now gather dust.
When Flip folds the laundry, he makes sure the tags show on Alexa's clothes. He puts away things without buttons in the front of the drawers and things with buttons in the back. Alexa hugs just as well as ever, though.
Flip notices that his mother hurries more and smiles less and falls asleep on the couch more afternoons than not. She doesn't do knitting, quilting, or other crafts as much as she used to. It's hard because Dad isn't there to help Mom with the grownup things anymore. She stays home to take care of Alexa. Money is tight. Time is even tighter.
There aren't as many chances to play with other boys, but Flip doesn't care much about that. He doesn't like all the same games they do anyway; he has more fun playing with his sister and her friends, or did before the accident. Flip doesn't know what to do. He feels nervous, which makes him bite his nails, which he knows he's not supposed to do, but he can't help it. Everything seems out of place now.
Flip thinks hard about what is wrong and how he can fix it. Sometimes Mom gets so busy with Alexa that she has no time left for anything else. Flip does his chores carefully but the rest of them just don't always get done. The house looks ... not horrible, but dingy and sad. It makes Flip feel shabby too.
* * *
Notes:
This is Flip. I found his picture in one of the brain damage articles below.
Traumatic Brain Injury can result from various kinds of head wound. Compare the functions of the left and right sides of the brain, and you can see why Alexa's injury reduced her intellectual faculties but left her intuitive ones intact. There are ways to cope with the effects. Read what TBI survivors want you to know about their condition and how their caregivers feel. Know how to help someone with a brain injury.
It can be hard to explain TBI to children. Flip's mother chooses a good metaphor, that Alexa may be more like a younger sister now. Here are tips for different age ranges. Watch a video about telling children. Know how to help children cope with the changes that TBI brings to a family.
Forming a post-trauma identity is a vital step in recovery from any major upset. Here's a radio show on trauma and identity. Some people don't realize this and flounder, trying to regain their lost identity. Others, like Flip, spontaneously recognize that life will never be the same.
Clutter and depression can form a vicious cycle. There are ways to clean house while depressed or otherwise drained.
[To be continued in Part 3 ...]
Flip needs a hug
Date: 2014-06-02 06:03 am (UTC)To Flip, his mother's name is "Mom", but I'm /aware/ that it's not, and yet that detail helps fix Flip's age in my head. Strange, and wonderful!
He's about four? Not yet in school? It's the only element that's not clear.
Lastly, I /love/ that he's biting his nails, which is something the adult Coulson did in another of your stories when stressed to the max. (Turnabout is Fair Play). Thanks for including that detail because it is /definitely/ an anchor point.
Re: Flip needs a hug
From:Re: Flip needs a hug
From:Re: Flip needs a hug
From:(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-02 07:13 pm (UTC)This is probably the healthiest picture of a family coping with trauma and loss that I've ever seen. There's a lot broken here--and given what's happened, it should be--but from what we're seeing, there are a whole lot of things that are working the way they're supposed to. (A wound may heal in ways that mean that part of the body will never work the same way again, but you can avoid having it get infected in the meantime, if you're lucky and you take care of yourself.)
Yes...
From:Roots
Date: 2014-06-02 07:32 pm (UTC)There's so much truth here about the reality with a family member who has a disability. My sister is a nurse. We joke among ourselves that it was a natural career choice for her. She has in many ways been nursing her whole life simply by virtue of living with me and dealing with my disability. She jokes that she's been nursing her whole life; now she just gets paid for it. :-)
Interestingly, we both have elements of parentification. While she was far more physical caregiver, I was the socioemotional caregiver. That doesn't apply here with Flip and Alexa necessarily. I just wanted to point out that it is sometimes split in this way and other ways.
Re: Roots
From: