Feedback on "Saudades"

[ysabetwordsmith]

I've posted the last part of the poem "Saudades." It's gotten fewer responses than other stuff I've posted in this series, and more mixed. I'd like to pin down the differences ...

Poll #14931 Feedback on Saudades

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 20

View Respondents

With 1 being dislike and 10 being like, how much did you enjoy "Saudades"?

View Answers
Mean: 7.24 Median: 7 Std. Dev 2.10

1		0 (0.0%)
2		1 (5.9%)
3		0 (0.0%)
4		1 (5.9%)
5		1 (5.9%)
6		1 (5.9%)
7		6 (35.3%)
8		2 (11.8%)
9		2 (11.8%)
10		3 (17.6%)

What did you like about this poem?

View Answers

Bruce-and-Hulk are favorite characters. I'll read almost anything about them.
7 (41.2%)

Emotional whump! YAY! Hit them again.
5 (29.4%)

I like the backstory.
9 (52.9%)

I like the inside perspective of Bruce-and-Hulk.
11 (64.7%)

I like poetry.
8 (47.1%)

I like your writing and read most/all of it.
11 (64.7%)

Something else.
2 (11.8%)

What did you dislike about this poem?

View Answers

I'm not a big fan of Bruce-and-Hulk.
0 (0.0%)

Too dark! Too dark! Turn up the lights.
3 (20.0%)

Poetry ... meh. I prefer fiction.
8 (53.3%)

Backstory doesn't grab me.
0 (0.0%)

Something else.
6 (40.0%)

Comments

[aldersprig]

...which isn't to say that I don't like your poetry, just that it's easier for me to get into a fic than a poem.

[snippy]

This. I read poetry with more distance, more mindfulness of the possibility of metaphor and other word play, than I do non-poetry. I recite it in my head and aloud under my breath, paying attention to meter and rhyme. I don't dive in with unexamined emotional responses. And I am more likely to wait until a work is complete before commenting, because I expect poetry to surprise me, to pull an O. Henry ending or to change my perspective on the previous lines.

Okay...

[ysabetwordsmith]

Thanks for telling me.

[natf]

Yeah, this. I love your poetry but find prose fiction easier to read and "get into".

[indiw]

I don't tend to read poetry. I read the other parts of the series, but, poetry is just not something that I appreciate.

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

I appreciate the feedback. I'm trying to gauge how many people read and liked it quietly vs. how many skipped it or really disliked it. It's okay for people to skip things that don't grab them.

[librarygeek]

With another caveat that I didn't expect poetry in this 'verse. I'm not sure why, but the poetry just tossed me out of the headspace for them. In terms of different writing, both "Splash" from Hulk's perspective and "Kernal Error" from JARVIS made more sense. I don't see Bruce getting poetry yet, I think. It would take emotional skills that Bruce doesn't have?

I hope that helps, I like your writing. :)

Yes...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> With another caveat that I didn't expect poetry in this 'verse. I'm not sure why, but the poetry just tossed me out of the headspace for them. <<

That's okay. Thanks for sharing.

>> In terms of different writing, both "Splash" from Hulk's perspective and "Kernal Error" from JARVIS made more sense. <<

I'm glad to hear this.

>> I don't see Bruce getting poetry yet, I think. It would take emotional skills that Bruce doesn't have? <<

I agree, Bruce probably isn't into poetry. Hulk now -- he has the emotional skills, and probably would like poetry. Sometimes they spill over into each other.

>> I hope that helps, I like your writing. :) <<

Yes, thank you!

Feedback

[draggon_flye.livejournal.com]

I've been following along reading this poem and enjoyed it. I like angst and backstory in general. However, it was so sad and dark that it hit on deeper emotions that are harder to think or talk about. I'm less likely to leave feedback in that case because I'm still trying to process.

Re: Feedback

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I've been following along reading this poem and enjoyed it. <<

Thank you!

>> I like angst and backstory in general. However, it was so sad and dark that it hit on deeper emotions that are harder to think or talk about. I'm less likely to leave feedback in that case because I'm still trying to process. <<

Now that more folks are chiming in, I can see that this effect is clustering for a bunch of readers. So I appreciate the feedback.

The challenge I run into is that, with people, there's no "program loading" graphic to let me distinguish between people who are busy thinking about what they've read vs. people who didn't like or didn't read it.

[dreamwriteremmy]

I am a little conflicted both ways on this. I'm an emotional whump fan with a tendency to go dark. But like other commenters have said this one goes a bit deeper down the rabbit hole than the rest of the Love Is For Children main arc. Also likewise I have a harder time placing feedback on poems.

What I liked that isn't on the list of likes is the linguistic play here. It's an interesting insight when non-English languages are applied to both fic and poetry because English is woefully inadequate at a lot of sentiments other languages have.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I am a little conflicted both ways on this. I'm an emotional whump fan with a tendency to go dark. <<

That's good to know.

>> But like other commenters have said this one goes a bit deeper down the rabbit hole than the rest of the Love Is For Children main arc. <<

Yeah, the backstory for Bruce-and-Hulk is a morass of gloom. :( Poor guys.

>> Also likewise I have a harder time placing feedback on poems. <<

That's okay. Feedback is an option, not an obligation.

It just makes it more challenging for me to gauge effective aim for future writing, if I don't know how people are responding to a piece. The discussion here is helping a lot. I think a confluence of factors -- the poetic form and the dark tone especially -- combined to lower the response rate.

>> What I liked that isn't on the list of likes is the linguistic play here. It's an interesting insight when non-English languages are applied to both fic and poetry because English is woefully inadequate at a lot of sentiments other languages have. <<

Yay! I'm happy to hear that.

I love languages and wordplay. Codeswitching makes sense for the Avengers because so many of them canonically or plausibly speak multiple languages. I am most prone to writing vocabulary poems for words that do not translate concisely into English. Language influences thought, and thought influences language, so if you have a word for something then it comes into your awareness more. "Saudade" just seemed like the perfect word for the backstory of Bruce-and-Hulk, BAM, got it in one.

Saudades

[(Anonymous)]

Because the format was so different from the longer story-fic, I wanted to parse it as a whole, as I've learned to do with your other poetry in this style, because it leads me to appreciate it better to have it all together and in chapters. I really love the concept you used with Bruce, not just because it works as something to change up and expand the style the series was presented in, but because it works for Bruce as a character/person, it speaks to how reticent he is, how little he says; he very much tries to scrunch himself down to be invisible physically and verbally, however possible, especially before Game Night starts. This style of writing is reflective of his posture and self presentation and self view. He doesn't strut like the others yet, not even like Happy does, that's why this form of story works for him; I also was honestly taken aback at how strongly the concept of 'saudade' hit me- close to home, so it was painful to read these, even knowing they have a happier outcome. -That- is why I didn't comment until now.

Re: Saudades

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Because the format was so different from the longer story-fic, I wanted to parse it as a whole, as I've learned to do with your other poetry in this style, because it leads me to appreciate it better to have it all together and in chapters. <<

That's okay. I posted it in chapters for various reasons. 1) Sometimes the blog hangfires if I make a post too big. 2) This individual poem was so dark and intense, I was concerned that it might be overload if posted all at once. 3) Breaking it into chapters gave me enough time to finish a story.

If I'd written a shorter poem, I would probably have posted it as a single piece, the way I did with the short-short experimental fiction "Kernel Error."

>> I really love the concept you used with Bruce, not just because it works as something to change up and expand the style the series was presented in, but because it works for Bruce as a character/person, <<

Yay! I'm glad this worked for you.

>> it speaks to how reticent he is, how little he says; he very much tries to scrunch himself down to be invisible physically and verbally, however possible, especially before Game Night starts. This style of writing is reflective of his posture and self presentation and self view. <<

Although I accounted for these aspects of Bruce in the language, I had not really connected the tightness of his personality with the compact form of poetry in comparison to prose. Cool.

>> He doesn't strut like the others yet, not even like Happy does, <<

True, and I want to see Bruce strut someday.

>> that's why this form of story works for him; <<

That's good to hear.

>> I also was honestly taken aback at how strongly the concept of 'saudade' hit me- close to home, so it was painful to read these, even knowing they have a happier outcome. <<

If I do it right, a vocabulary poem will always leave readers with a deep understanding of the keyword. In a case like this, yeah, it can pack quite a punch.

To see the same literary technique done sweet instead of bittersharp, I recommend "Smultronstället" from Hart's Farm.

>> -That- is why I didn't comment until now. <<

I appreciate knowing that. It's okay to wait until the end of a piece; plenty of readers do. I hadn't accounted for the fact that this poem, being darker and heavier, might require extra processing time.

[redsixwing]

The first time I read through this (as posted, in parts) I expected the finish to be other than what it was - I interpreted part 6 as mostly the denouement of part 5. That isn't the case on a more careful re-read of all 6 parts, where being reintroduced to Betty is a high point of its very own, and perhaps the highest of the entire poem.

That's not really a criticism, I guess? More of a "this is how I reacted" statement. I quite like part 6, and really this entire arc. Science Bros ftw! ... but it did take me a bit of time to really hook on to what's going on.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> The first time I read through this (as posted, in parts) I expected the finish to be other than what it was - I interpreted part 6 as mostly the denouement of part 5. That isn't the case on a more careful re-read of all 6 parts, where being reintroduced to Betty is a high point of its very own, and perhaps the highest of the entire poem. <<

I think that Part 6 is both. It is a conclusion, because it includes the payoff for the earlier parts and wraps up the changes that Bruce-and-Hulk are going through. And the reunion with Betty is definitely the emotional high point of the poem (and Bruce's life up to that point). That's when he really started to grok that life could get better and he could have nice things.

>> That's not really a criticism, I guess? More of a "this is how I reacted" statement. <<

Understood.

>> I quite like part 6, and really this entire arc. Science Bros ftw! <<

I love the Science Bros motif. I think that Tony and Bruce really have a strong fraternal bond going. But both of them have such shitty past associations with family, they don't feel comfortable calling each other brothers despite how they relate. The most they manage is "Science Bros" and that works for them.

>> ... but it did take me a bit of time to really hook on to what's going on. <<

That's okay. I appreciate hearing about the process as it went for you.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

Poetry is more concentrated, and I think it leaves itself less open. Prose you can find lots of tangents to then draw into conversation, the semi-salons that tend to break out in the comments.

I think this worked for Bruce, because while he might not turn to poetry, I think it's in there. He's swimming in emotions, he just doesn't express them. The formality suits.

Much as the, not trope, but the myth of the abused will abuse lets us dispose of the problem, victim and perpetrator and thus not consider how to assist the ill-treated, there is little consideration of how gifted children may be affected uniquely by abuse. (You know, those once known monsters.)

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Poetry is more concentrated, <<

Agreed.

>> and I think it leaves itself less open. Prose you can find lots of tangents to then draw into conversation, the semi-salons that tend to break out in the comments. <<

I do enjoy the comments.

I hadn't thought of poetry as leaving itself less open, especially free verse. That may be because I get "salon threads" under my poetic series elsewhere. But this series' audience seems to have a different dynamic.

>> I think this worked for Bruce, <<

That's good to hear.

>> because while he might not turn to poetry, I think it's in there. He's swimming in emotions, he just doesn't express them. <<

You may be right about Bruce not being much of a poetry fan. The emotional aspect would probably make him shy away from it.

Hulk now, he would love poetry -- the sound and rhythm of it, as well as the emotional tembre.

Aaaaaaand now I want to do fluff of somebody reading Dr. Seuss to Hulk but it's too early for that.

>> The formality suits. <<

I was actually thinking that the ragged edge that free verse can take on was well suited to the jumble of Bruce's life and thoughts. Put him in a lab, he can do formal and organized. Put him on a street or with people, and he frazzles.

>> Much as the, not trope, but the myth of the abused will abuse lets us dispose of the problem, victim and perpetrator and thus not consider how to assist the ill-treated, <<

It's not so much a myth as an incomplete truth. About a third of abuse survivors go on to abuse other people. That's not a small number; it has a definite impact on probability. But that also means that about two-thirds of survivors DON'T go on to abuse someone else. They break the cycle. I think we should study that more so we know how to encourage it.

That's why I wrote "A Seasoned Fighter" over in Polychrome Heroics.

I'm also concerned about how people are tormented until they break, and then are blamed for being broken. It's bad enough with Bruce-and-Hulk. Loki managed to withstand centuries of shabby treatment, but then when he finally snapped, it was considered all his fault. That bothered me a lot in the movies.

>> there is little consideration of how gifted children may be affected uniquely by abuse. (You know, those once known monsters.) <<

True. Gifted children are often precocious, and may understand far more about what's going on than anyone gives them credit for. Treating them as mindless and powerless therefore compounds the violation, and makes them more prone to violent outbursts or despondency. A unique hazard is that they're also more capable of doing real damage if they decide to retaliate. Where an ordinary child might punch someone, a wounded baby genius could tamper with someone's car.

Then too, if framed as an attack on their intellect or other nature, the abuse may cause them to despise their own talents. Bruce's father called him a freak. Loki grew up in a warlike culture that didn't respect magic very much, especially in males. Really not a good combination.

[chordatesrock]

Remember the amount of feedback by wordcount on that trainwrecky part in Hide And Seek versus the series as a whole? Calm down, it's not provoking discussion but we're reading.

Also, it's a poem with a single-word title. It took me a while to register that it was part of the series; it's not prose and it doesn't have a punny title, and it's not what I had guessed was coming next.

Even knowing what it is and reading it... it's short. Within a series that's full of most of the same themes and has dealt with them already. I don't have questions, I don't have quibbles, and I've already said how I feel about stories that deal with things getting better instead of having a traditional conflict. And I would feel awkward posting lots of comments saying "I read this and it's still working for me."

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Remember the amount of feedback by wordcount on that trainwrecky part in Hide And Seek versus the series as a whole? Calm down, it's not provoking discussion but we're reading. <<

I usually don't mind if something doesn't provoke a lot of discussion. Feedback is fun but not required.

What makes me request more information is when I see a scatter in the pattern of comments, and I can't resolve it with the data I already have, sufficient to make effective decisions about future writing. Hence the questions and survey, which are doing a terrific job of clearing up the ambiguity for me.

>> Also, it's a poem with a single-word title. It took me a while to register that it was part of the series; it's not prose and it doesn't have a punny title, and it's not what I had guessed was coming next. <<

Sorry for the confusion. There's a specific reason for the title format: when I write a vocabulary poem, the keyword becomes the title.

Love Is For Children is actually unusual among my series for not having poetry earlier. Most of my series are poetic rather than prose, based on audience response as well as personal skill. Most of the projects where I write fiction, I also write poetry, like Torn World and Schrodinger's Heroes. But that divergence means this series has attracted a different audience with different tastes.

>> Even knowing what it is and reading it... it's short. Within a series that's full of most of the same themes and has dealt with them already. I don't have questions, I don't have quibbles, and I've already said how I feel about stories that deal with things getting better instead of having a traditional conflict. <<

That's okay.

>> And I would feel awkward posting lots of comments saying "I read this and it's still working for me." <<

This is why one of those comments on the first or last post of a piece is useful, just as a reader tally.

What snagged my attention this time is that there were not only fewer comments, but they pointed in several different directions. I needed to map the spread better.

Now I know that some folks love the poetry and some really don't care for it (which I figured was the case) but also that both the poetic format and the darker tone combined to take more mental processing time for multiple readers. So I'm less likely to use poetry as a go-to spacer in this series, and if I do write more poetry here, I'll probably try to keep it lighter.

[somecrazygirl]

I've had enough bad experiences with fandom-related poetry that the whole prospect is a little off-putting for me, to be honest. I've read about four good fanpoems (is that a term?) ever, this being one of them. I don't want to say that the rest of it is terrible, exactly, because I suspect it's being written by a lot of younger teenagers and I don't want to be discouraging to people just learning a craft, but it tends to reek of inexperience and lack of polish in a way that definitely turns me off. So even though I know you write quite a bit of poetry, I was a little hesitant to dive in due to that, and I imagine some of your readers who are only here for the Avengers h/c is in a similar boat. I'm kind of ashamed to admit that only the prospect of missing something new to the narrative convinced me to give it a go. I'm glad I did, though.

It's hard for me to comment on it because poetry doesn't get filtered through quite the same brain circuits as prose for me. It tends to become a whole entity in my head rather than small parts that I can readily break down and talk about. I can say "I like this" but it's not really helpful feedback, and it's not a good way to start a conversation. (This is why I like AO3's kudos system: it allows me to show my appreciation when I don't have anything that I think is useful or interesting to say.)

Well...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I've had enough bad experiences with fandom-related poetry that the whole prospect is a little off-putting for me, to be honest. <<

That's understandable. Honestly, most modern poetry is awful -- even allegedly professional stuff -- because it's taught so badly in schools. I've found very little fannish poetry of quality, outside of filk lyrics. But I know some downright brilliant lyricists.

>> I've read about four good fanpoems (is that a term?) ever, this being one of them. <<

Thank you!

>> I don't want to say that the rest of it is terrible, exactly, because I suspect it's being written by a lot of younger teenagers and I don't want to be discouraging to people just learning a craft, but it tends to reek of inexperience and lack of polish in a way that definitely turns me off. <<

Part of the problem is that people don't know how to talk about poetry, have learned that criticism is wrong, and/or been told that crappy poetry is good and something is wrong with them if they don't like it. If nobody talks about what works or doesn't, the quality suffers. It's possible to offer gentle feedback instead of harsh. One good rule of thumb is to offer two positive points and one that could use improvement.

>> So even though I know you write quite a bit of poetry, I was a little hesitant to dive in due to that, and I imagine some of your readers who are only here for the Avengers h/c is in a similar boat. <<

I figured that might be the case. For what it's worth, my experience in poetry far outstrips my skill in fiction. I can still challenge myself in fiction with ordinary stuff. In poetry I have to go out to the event horizon and do weird things like writing in a language I don't actually speak.

>> I'm kind of ashamed to admit that only the prospect of missing something new to the narrative convinced me to give it a go. I'm glad I did, though. <<

That's okay. I'm glad you decided to take a chance on it.

>> It's hard for me to comment on it because poetry doesn't get filtered through quite the same brain circuits as prose for me. <<

That's useful to know, thanks.

>> It tends to become a whole entity in my head rather than small parts that I can readily break down and talk about. <<

*ponder* That really sounds a lot like how you can search inside a text file for a word, but not an image file, even if the image file is of a page with words on it.

>> I can say "I like this" but it's not really helpful feedback, and it's not a good way to start a conversation. (This is why I like AO3's kudos system: it allows me to show my appreciation when I don't have anything that I think is useful or interesting to say.) <<

"I like this" (or "I don't like this") tells me two basic things: there's a reader, and a broad opinion. This is useful under circumstances where few people are commenting and/or not many details are coming up. If you look and there aren't many comments on a piece yet, that one is worthwhile. If there are lots, it's not as important.

I agree that the Kudos feature is ideal for indicating general approval.

[seekergeek]

Honestly, I can't get into reading poetry. It doesn't do anything for me from a visual standpoint and I'm very visual by nature. As I read fiction it paints movies in my mind's eye and I can get lost in the world created therein. But when I read poetry, it just sits there, a lump of words. I find poetry to be a more performance oriented art in that the beauty of it tends to come more to light when it is recited to an audience. I could see this working more successfully as a podcast, at least for me.

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Honestly, I can't get into reading poetry. <<

I appreciate the feedback.

>> It doesn't do anything for me from a visual standpoint and I'm very visual by nature. <<

Not something I'm likely to do in this series, but I have written some visually-oriented poetry.

>> I find poetry to be a more performance oriented art in that the beauty of it tends to come more to light when it is recited to an audience. I could see this working more successfully as a podcast. <<

I don't make or use podcasts myself, but I'm open to other folks recording my work if they wish. I've had a few of my poems podcast. If anyone wants to do that here, I'd be happy to link the results.

[jimpage363]

I love your stories but don't care to read fannish poetry, so I skipped it.

Okay...

[ysabetwordsmith]

Thanks for letting me know.

[(Anonymous)]

I myself enjoyed Saudades. I don't usually feel comfortable leaving feedback until something is finished. I need to process a work as a whole, I think. I don't know if I can say whether I enjoyed it more or less than other parts of your series. I get different things from different parts.
As for the format, it worked for me. Trying to cover such a long period of time (also, as you've noted yourself, a period which is fairly unremittingly depressing) with prose, especially with no real interactions with others until the last installments would be difficult for me to follow. Poetry lends itself to making me reflect on events rather than follow events as they happen which suits this. I don't think prose would do this justice.
Giddyant

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I myself enjoyed Saudades. <<

That's good to hear.

>> I don't usually feel comfortable leaving feedback until something is finished. I need to process a work as a whole, I think. <<

Fair enough.

>> I don't know if I can say whether I enjoyed it more or less than other parts of your series. I get different things from different parts. <<

Yeah, I often feel that way too, even writing rather than reader.

>> As for the format, it worked for me. Trying to cover such a long period of time (also, as you've noted yourself, a period which is fairly unremittingly depressing) with prose, especially with no real interactions with others until the last installments would be difficult for me to follow. <<

That makes sense. Condensing a timeline is challenging.

>> Poetry lends itself to making me reflect on events rather than follow events as they happen which suits this. I don't think prose would do this justice. <<

Now that you mention it, yes, reflection is easier in poetry than prose. In fiction you pretty much have to do with retrospectives or memoires and that loses the immediacy. Hence why I wrote this piece in present tense.

[(Anonymous)]

I loved the topic I just couldn't get into the poetry

Okay...

[ysabetwordsmith]

Thanks for letting me know.

[shadynaiad]

I like poetry, I just don't care for fanfic poetry. Plus with this, I know Bruce's backstory, so I wasn't so excited about going over it again. I liked the idea of what you were doing; I just maybe wish it had come earlier. I'm kind of impatient for main story plot now. :) I know that isn't terribly helpful feedback, unless you've got a time machine. :)

I didn't think it was dark at all, but it'd have to be darker than canon for me to think it was dark, if that makes sense.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I like poetry, I just don't care for fanfic poetry. Plus with this, I know Bruce's backstory, so I wasn't so excited about going over it again. <<

That's okay.

>> I liked the idea of what you were doing; I just maybe wish it had come earlier. <<

I have in fact filed it within the series after "Dolls and Guys," so that new readers will have the chronology. It's not rare for me to write things out of order. This series is probably the most I've written IN order, actually.

>> I'm kind of impatient for main story plot now. :) <<

I understand. The chronologically next piece is big, and still in progress. Next to post will be a story about Phil realizing that JARVIS is a person.

>> I know that isn't terribly helpful feedback, unless you've got a time machine. :) <<

I've been trying to discern audience interest regarding future pieces, so yes, it is useful.

>> I didn't think it was dark at all, but it'd have to be darker than canon for me to think it was dark, if that makes sense. <<

Fair enough, yes.

[fred_mouse]

Health/time of year means that I haven't started reading it yet. Given that I've bookmarked it for later, it is likely that I'll read in multiple months time, and may or may not think to comment.

Okay...

[ysabetwordsmith]

That's fine. Thanks for letting me know.

Me n Poetry

[(Anonymous)]

I don't get poetry. I never have and have made peace with the likelihood of never will. The metered and rhymed stuff looks like a clever puzzle to me and everything else is just a puzzle. I read this one pretty much because you wrote it and it's part of the Love Is for Children cycle. I got the story (I think,) but I will never, ever get why poetry instead of prose. Maybe I'm reading it wrong inside my head or something, I don't know.

Says the person who explicated TS Eliot in high school with "something about life in spoons." F in poetry, but totally cleaned up on Dostoyevsky in the next unit.

(justalurkr, who cannot keep the ins and outs of open ID straight)

[(Anonymous)]

I enjoyed the poety as a change. It showed the tone change in bruce&hulk's lives wonderfully. I also really liked the lingustic aspect as well. I wonder if english has words that present that kind of feeling to other languages and cultures. I am looking forward to the JARVIS story, as I really enjoy your take on him as a character and not an appliance.

[(Anonymous)]

-Readera

[madame_maya]

I prefer any poetry I read to have minimal characters, mostly with the only characters there being placed as a way to self-insert yourself into a piece so that you can relate to the feel of the piece, rather than the poetry trying to tell a specific story about a specific event with a specific person. I would much rather read fiction for that, since it's less distracting trying to piece together the storyline together and read in between the lines with poetry format. It takes me out of the story because I'm busy translating, and I end up skipping it because I can't get into it. Poetry is fine, stories are great, I just prefer them not mixed, personally. Saudades got skipped, for me.

While I'm thinking of it, it's worth a mention that if it had been short, I probably wouldn't have skipped it, since it would have been easier to absorb. I did try to read it but I got overwhelmed and had to skip in the end.

Okay...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I prefer any poetry I read to have minimal characters, mostly with the only characters there being placed as a way to self-insert yourself into a piece so that you can relate to the feel of the piece, rather than the poetry trying to tell a specific story about a specific event with a specific person. <<

Okay, non-narrative poetry rather than narrative poetry. I write that too. Most of it isn't bundled like my narrative poetry is, but if you like nature poetry, I have a collection of that: From Nature's Patient Hands.

>> I would much rather read fiction for that, since it's less distracting trying to piece together the storyline together and read in between the lines with poetry format. It takes me out of the story because I'm busy translating, and I end up skipping it because I can't get into it. Poetry is fine, stories are great, I just prefer them not mixed, personally. Saudades got skipped, for me. <<

That's fine. Thanks for letting me know.

>> While I'm thinking of it, it's worth a mention that if it had been short, I probably wouldn't have skipped it, since it would have been easier to absorb. I did try to read it but I got overwhelmed and had to skip in the end. <<

Thanks for adding this! I may do more poetry in this series later. If so, it's likely to be shorter and lighter.

[freshbakedlady.livejournal.com]

To clarify my vote for "too dark" a bit:

The sorrow of the piece was lovely, beautifully rendered (oh, the multilingual play, YES), but the positive ending lacked punch for me. Perhaps because it was events I had seen previously in the series, whereas most of the whump was incidents the did not appear in this series or even (sometimes) in the movies. The happy ending just kind of skimmed for me. So I wasn't left crying on the floor or anything, but I wasn't as filled with warm fuzzies as I would have liked with a happy ending.

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

That's an interesting perspective I had not considered before. Thanks for sharing.