Touch Aversion
Apr. 26th, 2013 02:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithAs part of the ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
three_weeks_for_dw project (running April 25-May 15), I'm posting some content just to Dreamwidth. This is a good opportunity to seek new readers for your blog and new blogs to read, and to recommend stuff you enjoy on other people's blogs to help them make new connections too. Previously we discussed "Skin Hunger." Continue to later sections: "Primates Need Touch," "Self-Soothing and Self-Control," "Compassion and Gentleness," "Creating Safe Space," "Building Trust," "Healthy Vulnerability," "Coping with Emotional Drop."
"Touch Aversion"
Touch aversion is the counterpoint to skin hunger. Some people prefer to abstain from physical contact with other people. This is also known as chiraptophobia, touch avoidance, or tactile defensiveness. It can be considered a subtype of sensory defensiveness. There is a quiz to explore whether you have touch aversion.
Causes may be psychological, physical, or both. Autistic people may dislike touching due to hypersensitivity or difficulty filtering out sensations. Premature birth is also associated with touch aversion. Child abuse often leaves survivors resistant to physical contact; other traumatic experiences such as rape may do the same. Pregnant women sometimes do not want to be touched, although this usually fades after childbirth. Chronic pain and other illnesses can turn mild contact into agony. Someone may resist having one body part touched, but feel okay about others.
Some people may wish to overcome touch aversion, others not. Frequently relatives desire or demand physical contact -- not just spouses, but also parents of tactile-defensive children. It's not a good idea to harass anyone on this point. However, gradual introduction of loving touch can make progress toward finding mutually agreeable forms of contact. Therapy techniques such as anchoring can help overcome touch aversion.
There's a useful saying that sometimes appears in PTSD discussions: "You don't have to eat the eggplant." That means if something bothers you a lot, but comes up rarely, you can just skip it. Things that come up frequently, or are necessary for some reason, may justify the amount of work required to tolerate them. Do a cost-effectiveness assessment. Think about how much time, effort, and expense would be required to get over a particular hangup vs. what you would gain by being able to do that thing with less upset. Then work on the issue(s) that will give you the best bang for your buck. It's up to you whether touching, or certain types of touching, are worth doing or not.
In my research of this topic, I found this interesting snippet about positive portrayals of touch-averse characters. In my research of this topic, I found this interesting snippet about positive portrayals of touch-averse characters. I must admit, I've seen almost none of those anywhere. The Eldritch characters by M.C.A. Hogarth include a few examples; they're touch-telempaths. If I look at my own work, I can identify at least one: Solvig in Hart's Farm. If you read "After Dark," that's typical of her interactions with other people; she rarely seems to touch more than minimally and briefly. Solvig is asexual, aromantic, and reserved in general. She dresses in very sober, modest clothing by choice. She has close positive relationships; she just isn't a physically demonstrative person.
So I'm curious: would folks like to see more coverage of characters who are touch-averse and not otherwise a complete mess?
* * *
Read two Torn World poems featuring touch aversion: "Stinging Like Nettles" and "Wandering the Heights."
three_weeks_for_dw project (running April 25-May 15), I'm posting some content just to Dreamwidth. This is a good opportunity to seek new readers for your blog and new blogs to read, and to recommend stuff you enjoy on other people's blogs to help them make new connections too. Previously we discussed "Skin Hunger." Continue to later sections: "Primates Need Touch," "Self-Soothing and Self-Control," "Compassion and Gentleness," "Creating Safe Space," "Building Trust," "Healthy Vulnerability," "Coping with Emotional Drop.""Touch Aversion"
Touch aversion is the counterpoint to skin hunger. Some people prefer to abstain from physical contact with other people. This is also known as chiraptophobia, touch avoidance, or tactile defensiveness. It can be considered a subtype of sensory defensiveness. There is a quiz to explore whether you have touch aversion.
Causes may be psychological, physical, or both. Autistic people may dislike touching due to hypersensitivity or difficulty filtering out sensations. Premature birth is also associated with touch aversion. Child abuse often leaves survivors resistant to physical contact; other traumatic experiences such as rape may do the same. Pregnant women sometimes do not want to be touched, although this usually fades after childbirth. Chronic pain and other illnesses can turn mild contact into agony. Someone may resist having one body part touched, but feel okay about others.
Some people may wish to overcome touch aversion, others not. Frequently relatives desire or demand physical contact -- not just spouses, but also parents of tactile-defensive children. It's not a good idea to harass anyone on this point. However, gradual introduction of loving touch can make progress toward finding mutually agreeable forms of contact. Therapy techniques such as anchoring can help overcome touch aversion.
There's a useful saying that sometimes appears in PTSD discussions: "You don't have to eat the eggplant." That means if something bothers you a lot, but comes up rarely, you can just skip it. Things that come up frequently, or are necessary for some reason, may justify the amount of work required to tolerate them. Do a cost-effectiveness assessment. Think about how much time, effort, and expense would be required to get over a particular hangup vs. what you would gain by being able to do that thing with less upset. Then work on the issue(s) that will give you the best bang for your buck. It's up to you whether touching, or certain types of touching, are worth doing or not.
In my research of this topic, I found this interesting snippet about positive portrayals of touch-averse characters. In my research of this topic, I found this interesting snippet about positive portrayals of touch-averse characters. I must admit, I've seen almost none of those anywhere. The Eldritch characters by M.C.A. Hogarth include a few examples; they're touch-telempaths. If I look at my own work, I can identify at least one: Solvig in Hart's Farm. If you read "After Dark," that's typical of her interactions with other people; she rarely seems to touch more than minimally and briefly. Solvig is asexual, aromantic, and reserved in general. She dresses in very sober, modest clothing by choice. She has close positive relationships; she just isn't a physically demonstrative person.
So I'm curious: would folks like to see more coverage of characters who are touch-averse and not otherwise a complete mess?
* * *
Read two Torn World poems featuring touch aversion: "Stinging Like Nettles" and "Wandering the Heights."
Re: Touch Aversion
Date: 2022-01-14 02:46 pm (UTC)I agree that I'm wired differently, and likely electromagnetic. My body can build a lot of static electricity. I do not handle electrical stimulation well like TNS, it ramps up my nervous system and is also very painful.
I am told I have a huge Aura. I also know that other's feel my presence just walking into a room.
I can also feel other's approaching me w/o seeing. I can know that someone is going to touch me, observe the the touch coming, and I still jump. I may not hit because I know I'm going to be touched. I can feel someone looking at me.
I do not tolerate very many acupuncture needles in my body. If there are too many, my body goes into tetany as I described before. My acupuncturist would have to choose carefully his needle placement.
I cannot lay still to let him put a needle in my foot. I have to sit up to watch and will my foot to stay still. Yet, I may still withdraw. A primitive reflex flexor withdrawal.
I have hyperactive reflexes as well.
I am the person who will catch a person falling, or anything else.
I am the person who will know if there is danger or distress.
I will respond faster than most.
I should have used the word tetany vs convulsion when my body is overloaded. It is full body muscle spasms and shaking, but is not seizure activity. When it happens, it goes on for hours. It hasn't happened in many years. Of course I have done a good job of limiting my touch experiences.
Thank You again for your thoughtful response.
I will try to look at your posts to learn more and to connect to others.
I appreciate you sharing your experience as well.
I am considering writing a book that not only tells my story, and also other's stories. I would like to know more about what other's have done to cope, gain resolution, learn to be touched, or not, relationships etc.
Would you be willing to allow me to include your story as well?
I haven't heard the term Stone Lesbian before. I don't know what that implies.
Thank You
Theresa
Re: Touch Aversion
Date: 2022-01-15 11:19 am (UTC)It helps for some people, especially if part of the problem is a sensory disconnect.
>>I agree that I'm wired differently, and likely electromagnetic. My body can build a lot of static electricity. I do not handle electrical stimulation well like TNS, it ramps up my nervous system and is also very painful<<
Yeah, that fits.
>>I am told I have a huge Aura. I also know that other's feel my presence just walking into a room.
I can also feel other's approaching me w/o seeing. I can know that someone is going to touch me, observe the the touch coming, and I still jump. I may not hit because I know I'm going to be touched. I can feel someone looking at me.<<
Logical.
>>I am the person who will catch a person falling, or anything else.
I am the person who will know if there is danger or distress.
I will respond faster than most.<<
Those are all useful.
>>Thank You again for your thoughtful response.
I will try to look at your posts to learn more and to connect to others.
I appreciate you sharing your experience as well.<<
*bow, flourish* Happy to be of service.
>>I am considering writing a book that not only tells my story, and also other's stories. I would like to know more about what other's have done to cope, gain resolution, learn to be touched, or not, relationships etc.<<
Great idea.
>>Would you be willing to allow me to include your story as well? <<
Possibly some of it, but there things I'll say to one person that I wouldn't put in a published book.
>>I haven't heard the term Stone Lesbian before. I don't know what that implies.<<
It means someone who enjoys giving sexual pleasure but not receiving it. This is not as common as it used to be but still occurs, particularly in people who just don't like their own sex parts.
https://lgbt.fandom.com/wiki/Stone_butch