Story: "Touching Moments" (Part 1 of 8)
Mar. 25th, 2013 12:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis story is a sequel to "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys," "Saudades," and "Turnabout Is Fair Play."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, JARVIS, Betty Ross.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: No standard warnings apply.
Summary: Clint messes up his back while testing some new archery equipment. Bruce offers to fix his back for him.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Teamwork. Flangst. Fear of vulnerability. Trust issues. Skin hunger. Hurt/comfort. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Non-sexual ageplay. Cuteness. Personal growth. Family of choice.
If you've been reading this series for the fluffy ageplay, that's the last two parts of the story. There's a bit of angst up front and then a great deal of mostly soothing bodywork in the middle.
A note on feedback: While it's not necessary to comment on every post I make, remember that I don't know who reads/likes things if nobody says anything. Particularly on long stories, I've discovered that I get antsy if there's nothing but crickets chirping for several posts. So it helps to give me feedback at least once, even if it's just "I like this" or "This one doesn't grab me."
Skip to Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8.
There is now a sequel, "Splash."
"Touching Moments" Part 1 of 8
Phil was finishing lunch with Bruce in the common kitchen when Clint and Tony came in, discussing the new archery equipment that Tony had made for Clint. "So now that you've gotten a chance to shoot for a few hours, what do you think?" Tony asked.
"I love the EMP arrowheads and the armor-piercing ones. Not as sure about the harness, but the selection feature on the quiver is definitely more user-friendly," Clint said, rolling his shoulders under the straps.
"You happy with the grab function on the EMPs now?" Tony said.
"Yeah, I like the magnetic tip in addition to the spring-claws," Clint said. "It's definitely worth the slight increase in weight, because almost anything I need EMPs for will attract a magnet."
"That should help a lot, Tony," said Phil. "Thank you for taking the time to improve Hawkeye's gear." Last week a rampaging robot spider had nearly crushed Captain America because the team had counted on an EMP arrow frying its circuitry. The arrow had struck true but the grip function had failed.
"I live to make the cool toys," Tony said with a grin.
"You make the coolest toys ever," Clint said. He linked his fingers together behind his head and stretched to the right, then further to the left. "Stark tech outperforms SHIELD almost every time."
"Almost?" Tony said, clutching his arc reactor. "Cut me to the quick, Legolas!"
"You're too sensitive, cupcake," Clint said as he flexed his shoulders.
"Are you all right, Clint?" asked Bruce, pushing away his empty salad bowl.
Phil swept an appraising gaze over Clint. He didn't see any sign of injury, but he trusted Bruce's observational skills. "Talk to me, Clint," he said.
Clint shrugged, paused, and rubbed a hand over his left shoulderblade. "Ah, it's nothing, I'm a little stiff from practice is all."
"From a measly three hours of practice?" Tony said with a frown. "I've seen you go twice that without flinching. Something must be wrong."
"Your movements after shooting usually look more fluid," Bruce said. "This isn't like you."
"It'll wear off," Clint insisted. "I just need to stretch out a little more."
"Tony's right, Clint, a three-hour session shouldn't faze you," Phil said. He'd seen Hawkeye shoot for considerably longer, or climb down from a bird's nest perfectly supple after remaining in position all day.
"Turn around so I can see the rigging," Tony said, pulling Clint into place to look at his equipment from behind. "I need feedback, Robin Hood. Without input about what specifically works or does not work, I can't deliver the best goods in the world. Most you'll get is quasi-terrific." Sensitive engineer's fingers traced meticulously along the straps and down the line of the quiver where it rested against Clint's shirt. "In fact, take this off, it's trash, I'll figure out what's wrong and fix it."
"I could give you --" Bruce began.
"Thanks but no thanks, doc. I hate muscle relaxants, they mess up my reflexes. If I'm not screaming, I don't need 'em," Clint said. He started to unfasten the straps.
"-- a backrub, is what I meant. I could actually fix this by hand," Bruce said. "It's probably just knotted muscles and lactic acid buildup. At least let me take a look." He got up to examine Clint's back. Just as Bruce put a hand on Clint's shoulder to push him into a better position, Tony peeled back one of the velcro tabs with a loud ripping sound.
Clint jerked away, spinning to press his back against the nearest wall, one hand automatically reaching for the fletch of an arrow even though he didn't have his bow. "Don't do that," he said tightly. "I don't like having anyone right behind me, especially more than one person."
"It's okay," Bruce said, spreading his hands.
"Take it easy," Tony said at the same time. He flattened his hands over his thighs, because palms-forward was actually an attack position for him.
"Sorry, I'm sorry, it's just -- bad memories, yeah?" Clint said. He gave Phil a pleading look.
"A sniper's hyperfocus on target can leave him vulnerable to attack from other directions," Phil explained quietly. "One time in Tuzla, three men dropped on top of Hawkeye from a higher balcony and dragged him away from his post. It took us two hours to extract him, and by then he wasn't in very good shape."
Tony held out a hand and snapped his fingers. "Give me the gear, Cupid," he said. "I'll go work the problem from that end." Slowly Clint shrugged out of his harness and held out the quiver for Tony to take. It took a few extra seconds for Clint to make his fingers uncurl. Tony waited. Only when Clint pulled his hand back did Tony sling the straps over his shoulder and head for his lab.
Clint sidled over to the table and sat down next to Phil, leaning against his shoulder. "This could turn into a problem, working with a team," he muttered, guilt thickening his voice.
"It could," Phil said. "Hasn't yet, though. Don't beat up on yourself."
"How can I not? It's stupid," Clint said. "I know nobody on the team means me any kind of harm. It's just -- Tony was pulling on me, and Bruce was pushing, and velcro sounds like cloth tearing, and -- well. My head went to a bad place. I need that not to happen if I'm going to be around this many people on a regular basis."
"Maybe I can help with that too. The Other Guy hates people flanking him, for rather similar reasons," Bruce said. "Clint? If I sit beside you instead of standing behind you, would that be okay? I'd still like to check your back."
"It's fine, I'm fine," Clint said. He slumped forward, elbows on the table, then rested his face in his hands.
"We need you to be honest with us, Clint," said Phil, because Clint obviously was not fine.
"Okay, so, my back's a bit sore and I'm twitchy," Clint admitted. "Sitting beside me won't make it any worse."
* * *
Notes:
EMP stands for "electromagnetic pulse," a way of disabling technology.
Legolas is a character from The Lord of the Rings, a stealthy hunter and skilled climber. Tony often uses nicknames for Clint based on famous archers.
Isometric exercise is a way to use muscles without moving: a secret trick for avoiding stiffness while remaining still. Hunters do this, especially in tree stands or duck blinds. Clint knows how to stay flexible while sniping, so if he stiffens up, people know something must be wrong.
Robin Hood is a legendary archer with trickster qualities.
Bruce's offer to help, and his quick recoil when Clint jerks away, are examples of his fawn response. Many abused children feel a driving need to be of use, and respond submissively to threats, in hopes of getting hurt less.
Hyperfocus is a narrowing of attention, which tends to cut down wider aspects of situational awareness. Or in gaming terms: if you boost your offensive capability, it lowers your defensive capability.
Tuzla is a city in Herzegovina.
Cupid is a god of desire and sexual love, commonly portrayed with a bow and arrow. Most people have forgotten that in addition to the famous arrows of love (tipped with gold and fletched with dove feathers) he also carries the arrows of indifference (tipped with lead and fletched with owl feathers). That's very apt for this asexual version of Clint -- and Tony probably knows that, because nothing about weaponry ever escapes his attention.
Flashbacks are memories or fragments of previous experiences which recur in the present, sometimes randomly but usually in response to a trigger that bears some similarity to earlier trauma. Literary depictions favor the full-immersion variety that entails "reliving" the stressful event; that's not the most common, and portrayals of this delicate topic are patchy. What happens to Clint is far more typical: a sudden feeling of panic and threat triggered by a reminder, in this case the close proximity of people and the sound of velcro. Flashbacks rank among the primary symptoms of PTSD, although they can occur in other contexts. It's important to know your triggers -- the Avengers are doing a good job of learning the different things that set each other off so they can avoid stepping on those. It's also helpful to talk about the problem before it activates, so people know what to do. What helps one person may not work for another. There are ways to help someone having a flashback, and steps to pull yourself out of a flashback. Relaxation techniques may also help.
Personal problems can become collective problems when they affect teamwork. There are tips for employers and tips for employees for dealing with private issues that come up in public space. Team culture is important for effective work in many situations, and it takes work to maintain when things go wrong. Solving collective problems requires involving the people most affected by them. In this story you can see examples of how people may tough it out on their own as long as an issue only affects them individually, but look for a solution when it starts interfering with the team.
[To be continued in Part 2 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, JARVIS, Betty Ross.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: No standard warnings apply.
Summary: Clint messes up his back while testing some new archery equipment. Bruce offers to fix his back for him.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Teamwork. Flangst. Fear of vulnerability. Trust issues. Skin hunger. Hurt/comfort. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Non-sexual ageplay. Cuteness. Personal growth. Family of choice.
If you've been reading this series for the fluffy ageplay, that's the last two parts of the story. There's a bit of angst up front and then a great deal of mostly soothing bodywork in the middle.
A note on feedback: While it's not necessary to comment on every post I make, remember that I don't know who reads/likes things if nobody says anything. Particularly on long stories, I've discovered that I get antsy if there's nothing but crickets chirping for several posts. So it helps to give me feedback at least once, even if it's just "I like this" or "This one doesn't grab me."
Skip to Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8.
There is now a sequel, "Splash."
"Touching Moments" Part 1 of 8
Phil was finishing lunch with Bruce in the common kitchen when Clint and Tony came in, discussing the new archery equipment that Tony had made for Clint. "So now that you've gotten a chance to shoot for a few hours, what do you think?" Tony asked.
"I love the EMP arrowheads and the armor-piercing ones. Not as sure about the harness, but the selection feature on the quiver is definitely more user-friendly," Clint said, rolling his shoulders under the straps.
"You happy with the grab function on the EMPs now?" Tony said.
"Yeah, I like the magnetic tip in addition to the spring-claws," Clint said. "It's definitely worth the slight increase in weight, because almost anything I need EMPs for will attract a magnet."
"That should help a lot, Tony," said Phil. "Thank you for taking the time to improve Hawkeye's gear." Last week a rampaging robot spider had nearly crushed Captain America because the team had counted on an EMP arrow frying its circuitry. The arrow had struck true but the grip function had failed.
"I live to make the cool toys," Tony said with a grin.
"You make the coolest toys ever," Clint said. He linked his fingers together behind his head and stretched to the right, then further to the left. "Stark tech outperforms SHIELD almost every time."
"Almost?" Tony said, clutching his arc reactor. "Cut me to the quick, Legolas!"
"You're too sensitive, cupcake," Clint said as he flexed his shoulders.
"Are you all right, Clint?" asked Bruce, pushing away his empty salad bowl.
Phil swept an appraising gaze over Clint. He didn't see any sign of injury, but he trusted Bruce's observational skills. "Talk to me, Clint," he said.
Clint shrugged, paused, and rubbed a hand over his left shoulderblade. "Ah, it's nothing, I'm a little stiff from practice is all."
"From a measly three hours of practice?" Tony said with a frown. "I've seen you go twice that without flinching. Something must be wrong."
"Your movements after shooting usually look more fluid," Bruce said. "This isn't like you."
"It'll wear off," Clint insisted. "I just need to stretch out a little more."
"Tony's right, Clint, a three-hour session shouldn't faze you," Phil said. He'd seen Hawkeye shoot for considerably longer, or climb down from a bird's nest perfectly supple after remaining in position all day.
"Turn around so I can see the rigging," Tony said, pulling Clint into place to look at his equipment from behind. "I need feedback, Robin Hood. Without input about what specifically works or does not work, I can't deliver the best goods in the world. Most you'll get is quasi-terrific." Sensitive engineer's fingers traced meticulously along the straps and down the line of the quiver where it rested against Clint's shirt. "In fact, take this off, it's trash, I'll figure out what's wrong and fix it."
"I could give you --" Bruce began.
"Thanks but no thanks, doc. I hate muscle relaxants, they mess up my reflexes. If I'm not screaming, I don't need 'em," Clint said. He started to unfasten the straps.
"-- a backrub, is what I meant. I could actually fix this by hand," Bruce said. "It's probably just knotted muscles and lactic acid buildup. At least let me take a look." He got up to examine Clint's back. Just as Bruce put a hand on Clint's shoulder to push him into a better position, Tony peeled back one of the velcro tabs with a loud ripping sound.
Clint jerked away, spinning to press his back against the nearest wall, one hand automatically reaching for the fletch of an arrow even though he didn't have his bow. "Don't do that," he said tightly. "I don't like having anyone right behind me, especially more than one person."
"It's okay," Bruce said, spreading his hands.
"Take it easy," Tony said at the same time. He flattened his hands over his thighs, because palms-forward was actually an attack position for him.
"Sorry, I'm sorry, it's just -- bad memories, yeah?" Clint said. He gave Phil a pleading look.
"A sniper's hyperfocus on target can leave him vulnerable to attack from other directions," Phil explained quietly. "One time in Tuzla, three men dropped on top of Hawkeye from a higher balcony and dragged him away from his post. It took us two hours to extract him, and by then he wasn't in very good shape."
Tony held out a hand and snapped his fingers. "Give me the gear, Cupid," he said. "I'll go work the problem from that end." Slowly Clint shrugged out of his harness and held out the quiver for Tony to take. It took a few extra seconds for Clint to make his fingers uncurl. Tony waited. Only when Clint pulled his hand back did Tony sling the straps over his shoulder and head for his lab.
Clint sidled over to the table and sat down next to Phil, leaning against his shoulder. "This could turn into a problem, working with a team," he muttered, guilt thickening his voice.
"It could," Phil said. "Hasn't yet, though. Don't beat up on yourself."
"How can I not? It's stupid," Clint said. "I know nobody on the team means me any kind of harm. It's just -- Tony was pulling on me, and Bruce was pushing, and velcro sounds like cloth tearing, and -- well. My head went to a bad place. I need that not to happen if I'm going to be around this many people on a regular basis."
"Maybe I can help with that too. The Other Guy hates people flanking him, for rather similar reasons," Bruce said. "Clint? If I sit beside you instead of standing behind you, would that be okay? I'd still like to check your back."
"It's fine, I'm fine," Clint said. He slumped forward, elbows on the table, then rested his face in his hands.
"We need you to be honest with us, Clint," said Phil, because Clint obviously was not fine.
"Okay, so, my back's a bit sore and I'm twitchy," Clint admitted. "Sitting beside me won't make it any worse."
* * *
Notes:
EMP stands for "electromagnetic pulse," a way of disabling technology.
Legolas is a character from The Lord of the Rings, a stealthy hunter and skilled climber. Tony often uses nicknames for Clint based on famous archers.
Isometric exercise is a way to use muscles without moving: a secret trick for avoiding stiffness while remaining still. Hunters do this, especially in tree stands or duck blinds. Clint knows how to stay flexible while sniping, so if he stiffens up, people know something must be wrong.
Robin Hood is a legendary archer with trickster qualities.
Bruce's offer to help, and his quick recoil when Clint jerks away, are examples of his fawn response. Many abused children feel a driving need to be of use, and respond submissively to threats, in hopes of getting hurt less.
Hyperfocus is a narrowing of attention, which tends to cut down wider aspects of situational awareness. Or in gaming terms: if you boost your offensive capability, it lowers your defensive capability.
Tuzla is a city in Herzegovina.
Cupid is a god of desire and sexual love, commonly portrayed with a bow and arrow. Most people have forgotten that in addition to the famous arrows of love (tipped with gold and fletched with dove feathers) he also carries the arrows of indifference (tipped with lead and fletched with owl feathers). That's very apt for this asexual version of Clint -- and Tony probably knows that, because nothing about weaponry ever escapes his attention.
Flashbacks are memories or fragments of previous experiences which recur in the present, sometimes randomly but usually in response to a trigger that bears some similarity to earlier trauma. Literary depictions favor the full-immersion variety that entails "reliving" the stressful event; that's not the most common, and portrayals of this delicate topic are patchy. What happens to Clint is far more typical: a sudden feeling of panic and threat triggered by a reminder, in this case the close proximity of people and the sound of velcro. Flashbacks rank among the primary symptoms of PTSD, although they can occur in other contexts. It's important to know your triggers -- the Avengers are doing a good job of learning the different things that set each other off so they can avoid stepping on those. It's also helpful to talk about the problem before it activates, so people know what to do. What helps one person may not work for another. There are ways to help someone having a flashback, and steps to pull yourself out of a flashback. Relaxation techniques may also help.
Personal problems can become collective problems when they affect teamwork. There are tips for employers and tips for employees for dealing with private issues that come up in public space. Team culture is important for effective work in many situations, and it takes work to maintain when things go wrong. Solving collective problems requires involving the people most affected by them. In this story you can see examples of how people may tough it out on their own as long as an issue only affects them individually, but look for a solution when it starts interfering with the team.
[To be continued in Part 2 ...]
Yay!
Date: 2013-03-26 05:42 am (UTC)Thank you!
>> And I'm glad to have more company in the comments section. <<
Yes, this makes me very happy.
Also, the second part just went up.