Story: "Touching Moments" (Part 5 of 8)
Mar. 29th, 2013 12:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis story is a sequel to "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys," and "Turnabout Is Fair Play."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, JARVIS, Betty Ross.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: No standard warnings apply.
Summary: Clint messes up his back while testing some new archery equipment. Bruce offers to fix his back for him.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Teamwork. Flangst. Fear of vulnerability. Trust issues. Skin hunger. Hurt/comfort. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Non-sexual ageplay. Cuteness. Personal growth. Family of choice.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4. Skip to Part 7, Part 8.
"Touching Moments" Part 5
Phil looked at Bruce, and Bruce quirked a smile at him. Then Phil realized which side of this equation Bruce had most likely learned such precision, and his stomach sank. Well, at least he's putting the knowledge to good use, however he gained it, Phil decided.
Bruce followed the line of the shoulderblade with his thumbs, feeling for the knot hidden under the skin. Phil could actually see something jump when Bruce found it.
"Nnh," Clint said, not a happy noise.
"I know," Bruce murmured. "This part is uncomfortable. You'll feel a lot better once I'm done, though. I promise." He moved his thumbs along the line of the tendon, not using much pressure, just rolling it softly under his touch. Then he pressed under the raised edge of the shoulderblade.
Clint whimpered.
"Breathe through it," Phil coached. It was one thing to withstand pain under enemy torture, or to ignore it in the field as part of the job; and quite another to hold yourself still while somebody you cared about did necessary but unpleasant things to your body. Clint's threshold for the latter lay a great deal lower than the former. It was also harder to block out pain when you'd already relaxed and opened the barriers that you used to keep the world at bay. Phil gave a gentle, reassuring squeeze to the wrist under his grasp. "You're all right. Just breathe."
Clint dragged in a long breath. Huffed. Inhaled again, striving for control. Phil watched the rise and fall of his ribs.
Bruce worked with steady strokes, and before long the knot yielded to his skillful touch. It couldn't have taken much more than five minutes, certainly less than ten. It just seemed to take forever with Clint making unhappy little noises and very deliberately not pulling against their hands.
Finally Bruce reclaimed Clint's wrist from Phil and gradually, solicitously moved it back down, around, and up to its previous position under Clint's chin. "Here, feel the difference," Bruce said. He placed two fingers over the former knot and pressed just enough to dimple the skin.
"Hm," Clint said, a low thoughtful note.
"See, that's a lot better than the yelping I got in the kitchen when I first touched this," Bruce said. He flattened his hands over Clint's lower back. "Long strokes again, you like these, remember." He pushed upward. This time he leaned into the motion more.
"Mmmm," Clint said, happy again. He relaxed under the rhythmic pressure.
"It's just like unstringing a bow," Bruce said quietly. He warmed another palmful of oil and spread it over the skin.
"What?" Phil said, startled out of his reverie watching Clint dissolve.
"Something I learned from Clint, actually," said Bruce. "You want to take good care of your weapons. For a bow, that means you need to unstring it at times, release the tension. If you keep it strung continually, it will either lose its resilience or break."
Phil's heart twisted at hearing the words. He hadn't done a good enough job of caring for his archer, though he'd tried everything he could think of that came within reach. It was just so hard to convince Clint to let go, to relax, even for a little while. Game night was the first thing they'd tried that really worked. "Point," Phil said bleakly.
"So it's good that we found this now," Bruce went on. His tone didn't sound critical, just satisfied. He'd identified a lack and found a solution. "You know, I don't think this would've worked a few months ago. You've helped us all learn to unwind and rely on each other for what we can't do ourselves."
Phil thought about that. No wonder Clint had come undone today, when he'd resisted it before. Now he had different ways to move back and forth, ease the strain on various parts of himself. He knew enough trustworthy people that somebody could take care of him and somebody else could keep watch at the same time. Phil thought about how he felt, being able to count on people like Steve and Betty and even JARVIS to take over some aspects of guidance. He remembered the way the team had caught him after he fell apart over their presumed deaths, and how gently they'd put him back together again.
So Phil hadn't failed; he'd just taken a while to find all the pieces he needed to get the job done. This intricate, infinitely precious thing they were building between them was stronger than it looked, precisely because it wove together so many different strands. Everyone had a part to play, rather than throwing all the weight on one person until they shattered under the stress. This felt good.
"I think you're absolutely right," Phil said to Bruce.
Bruce took his time with Clint. He must have spent another forty minutes on that same languorous stroke. He kept going until he had a puddle of archer lolling on the cushions. Clint was so blissed out that he couldn't move, even when Bruce tickled the curve of his ear with a fingertip.
"Eh," Clint said, too relaxed to laugh.
Bruce spread another towel over his back and started rubbing away the leftover oil. "Here, you can help me dry him off," Bruce said to Phil.
Phil moved his hands to Clint's back and scuffed them vigorously over the thick terrycloth. It made his skin tingle, and presumably did the same to Clint on the other side of the cloth.
"Look, his toes are curling again," Bruce said with a smile. "Okay, you can move back to where you were."
Phil sat back, returning his touch to Clint's forearm. Though at this point, grounding is redundant. I don't think we could get him off these cushions without a spatula, Phil mused.
Bruce smoothed his hands over Clint's back, long slow sweeps, straightening out the towel. He ended in exactly the same position as he began more than three hours ago, one hand cupping the nape of Clint's neck and the other at the base of his spine. "Come back to us now," Bruce said quietly. "You can take a few minutes if you need to."
* * *
Notes:
Pain changes how people think, but people in unusual lifestyles often think differently about pain, even before compensating biochemistry kicks in. This is a concern in law enforcement, along with the espionage that Clint and Phil practice. People may explore ways of blocking or controlling pain so they can withstand torture or keep fighting no matter how badly they are hurt. There are also techniques for manipulating nerve signals and their interpretation.
Relaxation techniques work well for pain control, although different ones may work better for different people or situations. Some relaxation exercises are specifically designed for pain relief. This applies both to temporary and chronic problems, in advance or during an experience. In particular, the practice of "breathing through it" changes the perception and experience of what is happening to something more bearable.
Blocking out pain on a mental level is a targeted form of general shielding. It's different from learning how to activate the body's switches for adrenaline, endorphins, and other biochemicals. (This is another reason why Bruce spends so much time putting Clint under before working on the parts that really hurt: to build up enough endorphins to raise his pain tolerance.) The key to this trick is that it actually keeps negative input out, so it has to be started in advance, and it doesn't work if you're already wide open for some other reason. Energy manipulation can be fine-tuned for pain control, shields, attack, and many other purposes.
"Unstring the Bow" is a lovely essay about the parallels between archery and relaxation.
Phil invests a tremendous amount of energy, and even his identity, in being a handler. So when he can't do everything perfectly, he tends to blame himself; he works on learning how to shift out of that, but it's still difficult. This is akin to caregiver guilt. It's important to know who you can count on and build a support network.
At the end of the massage, Bruce is laying his hands over the root (grounding) and throat (communication) chakras. It's an effective balancing technique, popular among massage therapists -- some do it instinctively, even if they haven't studied energy manipulation.
[To be continued in Part 6 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, JARVIS, Betty Ross.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: No standard warnings apply.
Summary: Clint messes up his back while testing some new archery equipment. Bruce offers to fix his back for him.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Teamwork. Flangst. Fear of vulnerability. Trust issues. Skin hunger. Hurt/comfort. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Non-sexual ageplay. Cuteness. Personal growth. Family of choice.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4. Skip to Part 7, Part 8.
"Touching Moments" Part 5
Phil looked at Bruce, and Bruce quirked a smile at him. Then Phil realized which side of this equation Bruce had most likely learned such precision, and his stomach sank. Well, at least he's putting the knowledge to good use, however he gained it, Phil decided.
Bruce followed the line of the shoulderblade with his thumbs, feeling for the knot hidden under the skin. Phil could actually see something jump when Bruce found it.
"Nnh," Clint said, not a happy noise.
"I know," Bruce murmured. "This part is uncomfortable. You'll feel a lot better once I'm done, though. I promise." He moved his thumbs along the line of the tendon, not using much pressure, just rolling it softly under his touch. Then he pressed under the raised edge of the shoulderblade.
Clint whimpered.
"Breathe through it," Phil coached. It was one thing to withstand pain under enemy torture, or to ignore it in the field as part of the job; and quite another to hold yourself still while somebody you cared about did necessary but unpleasant things to your body. Clint's threshold for the latter lay a great deal lower than the former. It was also harder to block out pain when you'd already relaxed and opened the barriers that you used to keep the world at bay. Phil gave a gentle, reassuring squeeze to the wrist under his grasp. "You're all right. Just breathe."
Clint dragged in a long breath. Huffed. Inhaled again, striving for control. Phil watched the rise and fall of his ribs.
Bruce worked with steady strokes, and before long the knot yielded to his skillful touch. It couldn't have taken much more than five minutes, certainly less than ten. It just seemed to take forever with Clint making unhappy little noises and very deliberately not pulling against their hands.
Finally Bruce reclaimed Clint's wrist from Phil and gradually, solicitously moved it back down, around, and up to its previous position under Clint's chin. "Here, feel the difference," Bruce said. He placed two fingers over the former knot and pressed just enough to dimple the skin.
"Hm," Clint said, a low thoughtful note.
"See, that's a lot better than the yelping I got in the kitchen when I first touched this," Bruce said. He flattened his hands over Clint's lower back. "Long strokes again, you like these, remember." He pushed upward. This time he leaned into the motion more.
"Mmmm," Clint said, happy again. He relaxed under the rhythmic pressure.
"It's just like unstringing a bow," Bruce said quietly. He warmed another palmful of oil and spread it over the skin.
"What?" Phil said, startled out of his reverie watching Clint dissolve.
"Something I learned from Clint, actually," said Bruce. "You want to take good care of your weapons. For a bow, that means you need to unstring it at times, release the tension. If you keep it strung continually, it will either lose its resilience or break."
Phil's heart twisted at hearing the words. He hadn't done a good enough job of caring for his archer, though he'd tried everything he could think of that came within reach. It was just so hard to convince Clint to let go, to relax, even for a little while. Game night was the first thing they'd tried that really worked. "Point," Phil said bleakly.
"So it's good that we found this now," Bruce went on. His tone didn't sound critical, just satisfied. He'd identified a lack and found a solution. "You know, I don't think this would've worked a few months ago. You've helped us all learn to unwind and rely on each other for what we can't do ourselves."
Phil thought about that. No wonder Clint had come undone today, when he'd resisted it before. Now he had different ways to move back and forth, ease the strain on various parts of himself. He knew enough trustworthy people that somebody could take care of him and somebody else could keep watch at the same time. Phil thought about how he felt, being able to count on people like Steve and Betty and even JARVIS to take over some aspects of guidance. He remembered the way the team had caught him after he fell apart over their presumed deaths, and how gently they'd put him back together again.
So Phil hadn't failed; he'd just taken a while to find all the pieces he needed to get the job done. This intricate, infinitely precious thing they were building between them was stronger than it looked, precisely because it wove together so many different strands. Everyone had a part to play, rather than throwing all the weight on one person until they shattered under the stress. This felt good.
"I think you're absolutely right," Phil said to Bruce.
Bruce took his time with Clint. He must have spent another forty minutes on that same languorous stroke. He kept going until he had a puddle of archer lolling on the cushions. Clint was so blissed out that he couldn't move, even when Bruce tickled the curve of his ear with a fingertip.
"Eh," Clint said, too relaxed to laugh.
Bruce spread another towel over his back and started rubbing away the leftover oil. "Here, you can help me dry him off," Bruce said to Phil.
Phil moved his hands to Clint's back and scuffed them vigorously over the thick terrycloth. It made his skin tingle, and presumably did the same to Clint on the other side of the cloth.
"Look, his toes are curling again," Bruce said with a smile. "Okay, you can move back to where you were."
Phil sat back, returning his touch to Clint's forearm. Though at this point, grounding is redundant. I don't think we could get him off these cushions without a spatula, Phil mused.
Bruce smoothed his hands over Clint's back, long slow sweeps, straightening out the towel. He ended in exactly the same position as he began more than three hours ago, one hand cupping the nape of Clint's neck and the other at the base of his spine. "Come back to us now," Bruce said quietly. "You can take a few minutes if you need to."
* * *
Notes:
Pain changes how people think, but people in unusual lifestyles often think differently about pain, even before compensating biochemistry kicks in. This is a concern in law enforcement, along with the espionage that Clint and Phil practice. People may explore ways of blocking or controlling pain so they can withstand torture or keep fighting no matter how badly they are hurt. There are also techniques for manipulating nerve signals and their interpretation.
Relaxation techniques work well for pain control, although different ones may work better for different people or situations. Some relaxation exercises are specifically designed for pain relief. This applies both to temporary and chronic problems, in advance or during an experience. In particular, the practice of "breathing through it" changes the perception and experience of what is happening to something more bearable.
Blocking out pain on a mental level is a targeted form of general shielding. It's different from learning how to activate the body's switches for adrenaline, endorphins, and other biochemicals. (This is another reason why Bruce spends so much time putting Clint under before working on the parts that really hurt: to build up enough endorphins to raise his pain tolerance.) The key to this trick is that it actually keeps negative input out, so it has to be started in advance, and it doesn't work if you're already wide open for some other reason. Energy manipulation can be fine-tuned for pain control, shields, attack, and many other purposes.
"Unstring the Bow" is a lovely essay about the parallels between archery and relaxation.
Phil invests a tremendous amount of energy, and even his identity, in being a handler. So when he can't do everything perfectly, he tends to blame himself; he works on learning how to shift out of that, but it's still difficult. This is akin to caregiver guilt. It's important to know who you can count on and build a support network.
At the end of the massage, Bruce is laying his hands over the root (grounding) and throat (communication) chakras. It's an effective balancing technique, popular among massage therapists -- some do it instinctively, even if they haven't studied energy manipulation.
[To be continued in Part 6 ...]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-29 09:58 am (UTC)Yay!
Date: 2013-03-29 10:21 pm (UTC)Also, I finished a new story today.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-29 01:53 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2013-03-29 05:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-29 06:02 pm (UTC)You're welcome!
Date: 2013-03-30 05:40 am (UTC)Sooth. As the story arc moves along, the results improve and more complex character interactions emerge.
>> I like that, that not only Phil, but everyone, and also the time shared and spent, make things better and create a new dynamic and new possibilities. <<
Family is like that. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it. The Avengers may be dinged up but none of them are lazy or cowardly. So once they get the hang of it, they'll put the work in, and awesome stuff starts to happen.
>>And now, I'm going read that essay you talked about, it seems very interesting. Thanks for sharing!!<<
Yay! I'm glad that people are enjoying the extra links. I like making that kind of connection.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-29 07:34 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2013-03-30 08:11 am (UTC)It's a slow build, because Phil really did start intended to restore people's trust in themselves. That's the foundation on which trust for each other is laid. So it starts small, internal to each person; expands into comfortable reactions during game night; improves teamwork in combat; and finally grows to a point when they just really dislike seeing each other in pain. They're learning gestures of caring and awareness that pervade everyday life. And then it cycles back around to self again, as they start realizing that their own unprocessed baggage can hurt the people around them, not by flailing and hitting someone directly, but simply because they aren't taking good care of themselves. So they're starting to stumble in that direction now.
You can bet Clint wouldn't get away with flaying his hands to hamburger on the archery range, not without argument.
>> much much love for this series and all that many ways that bruce is awesome!! <<
I'm glad you're enjoying it so much. I have fun exploring Bruce's many talents. I think some writers make the same mistake as General Ross: seeing him as just a Hulk carton. But he really is a genius, and that manifests in a lot of different ways. Except for his painfully inept emotional intelligence. He's just barely starting to get the hang of feeling as well as thinking, and honestly, he has no idea how much he's riding on Hulk's coattails there.
>> lol.. now i gotta go find out how to get a puddle of goo archer for my very own !! <<
Well, the Hawkeye model is unavailable in this universe, but random archers? Bodywork works like a charm. Seriously. Try it at any Renaissance Faire. Even the simplest flat-hand stroke feels great. If you actually have talent, it turns into more of a challenge shooing people away than attracting them. Archers, drummers, dancers, knights, jocks, writers or musicians who spend hours at a keyboard, anyone who pushes their body. Putty in the paws.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-25 12:08 am (UTC)Phil thought about that. No wonder Clint had come undone today, when he'd resisted it before. Now he had different ways to move back and forth, ease the strain on various parts of himself. He knew enough trustworthy people that somebody could take care of him and somebody else could keep watch at the same time. Phil thought about how he felt, being able to count on people like Steve and Betty and even JARVIS to take over some aspects of guidance. He remembered the way the team had caught him after he fell apart over their presumed deaths, and how gently they'd put him back together again.
So Phil hadn't failed; he'd just taken a while to find all the pieces he needed to get the job done. This intricate, infinitely precious thing they were building between them was stronger than it looked, precisely because it wove together so many different strands. Everyone had a part to play, rather than throwing all the weight on one person until they shattered under the stress. This felt good.
...because this is exactly what I _don't_ have, haven't had for more than very brief periods in my life, and...I'm just tired of not having anywhere to go that's safe, is all. So tired.
*hugs*
Date: 2014-06-25 12:44 am (UTC)I can sympathize. What I have is safe, but not what I'd call secure. There are extremely few people I can rely on. Most of my real friends are scattered around the world. I've had community, on several occasions, but it never lasts more than a few years. That makes it very difficult to have any faith in people when opportunities do show up.
Re: *hugs*
Date: 2014-06-25 04:34 pm (UTC)Anyways, I make sympathies in your general direction.
Re: *hugs*
Date: 2014-06-25 06:01 pm (UTC)Yes, exactly. For us it's stuff like yardwork or jumpstarting a car.
>> Anyways, I make sympathies in your general direction. <<
*hugs* Thanks.
*sigh*
Date: 2017-07-10 01:49 am (UTC)Re: *sigh*
Date: 2017-07-10 02:02 am (UTC):( That's really sad.
>> I'm almost always the one in Bruce's position and while I don't mind, I am a very touchy person and the lack of two way transaction is...hard.<<
Skin hunger is hard on anyone, but worse on touch-dominant people. I hope you can find someone to trade touch with, instead of always giving and never getting anything back.