Poetry Fishbowl Open!
Nov. 2nd, 2021 01:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThe Poetry Fishbowl is now CLOSED. Thank you for your time and attention. Please keep an eye on this page as I am still writing.
Starting now, the Poetry Fishbowl is open! Today's theme is "Polyamory in the QUILTBAG." I will be checking this page periodically throughout the day. When people make suggestions, I'll pick some and weave them together into a poem ... and then another ... and so on. I'm hoping to get a lot of ideas and a lot of poems.
I'll be soliciting ideas for polyfolk, people in the QUILTBAG, queer activists, gender scholars, historic queers, historic polyfamilies, queerplatonic partners, comares, superheroes, supervillains, counselors, other people who involved in QUILTBAG and polyamorous culture, studying the QUILTBAG, exploring your sexuality, creating intimacy, making friends, falling in love (or like), getting to know each other, growing closer, moving in together, formalizing a relationship, fumbling for vocabulary, starting a family, cooking together, discovering things, troubleshooting, improvising, adapting, cooperating, bartering, taking over in an emergency, discovering yourself, studying others, testing boundaries, coming of age, learning what you can (and can't) do, sharing, fixing what's broke, upsetting the status quo, changing the world, accomplishing the impossible, recovering from setbacks, sharehouses, intentional communities, other polyhomes, gay bars, feminist bookstores, queer studies departments in schools, QUILTBAG clubs, quiet rooms, queer-friendly workplaces, Utah, Boston, Thalassia, nonhuman environments, gardens, other QUILTBAG hangouts, diverse orientations, pride flags, other symbols of QUILTBAG identity, stores carrying QUILTBAG goods, queer-owned-and-operated businesses, magical aspects of sex/romance, how superpowers can complicate sexuality, queer-friendly and poly-friendly religions, family dynamics, alternative family structures, partnerships not based on sex/romance, layered personal boundaries, emotional closeness, first contact, things other species consider queer that humans don't, alien polyamory, interspecies relationships, trial and error, lab conditions are not field conditions, innovation, skin hunger, loneliness, problems that can't be solved by hitting, teamwork, found family, complementary strengths and weaknesses, personal growth, and poetic forms in particular.
I have several posts you may find inspiring:
QUILTBAG Characters
Romantic Orientations in My Characters
Sexual Orientations in My Characters
Genders in My Characters
See also:
The Ace-Aro Spectrum
Nonsexual Intimacies
Five Moments of Intimacy
A previous FMI bingo card from a fest on Allbingo
I encourage folks to prompt for more about polyfamilies I have already written about, because statting up lots of characters at once is really time-consuming. Ask me if you need more details about these. Options include:
POLYCHROME HEROICS
Marriage diversity in Terramagne-America
The Coral Reef
Kallistos family, also Clan Aspen and the Pans
Hefty/Roger-Diamond/Fiddlesticks
Tarnish/Cavalier/Princessa
Molly's polycule
Boston Wives TV show
OTHER SERIES
Feathered Nests families tend toward polyamory.
Frankenstein's Family has Csilla-Dorottya/Dénes the Brewer.
Most of Hart's Farm is poly free love whatever.
If your identity has not yet be represented, or only done badly, then by all means prompt for it and I'll do my best to fill the gap.
Currently eligible bingo card(s) for donors wishing to sponsor a square:
NCIS Bingo Card 11-1-21
Among my more relevant series for the main theme:
The Blueshift Troupers span a range of sexualities, and sometimes shift gender. They have pairings but are sort of all one big family.
Daughters of the Apocalypse has far more women than men, so lesbianism and bisexuality are considered sensible, but gay men may be seen as selfish. Larger families are likely more secure than smaller ones, and they usually have to share a man.
Polychrome Heroics has ordinary humans, supernaries, blue-plate specials, superheroes, supervillains, primal and animal soups all of whom have their own interpersonal expectations. QUILTBAG characters include Antimatter and Stalwart Stan, Pain's Gray, and Hefty in the Shiv thread (and Shiv is acespec).
Schrodinger's Heroes save the world from alternate dimensions, and they're a very diverse group in a very conservative area. Pat belongs to a polyfamily.
Or you can ask for something new.
I have a linkback poem, "Homefree and Clear" (8 verses).
What Is a Poetry Fishbowl?
Writing is usually considered a solitary pursuit. One exception to this is a fascinating exercise called a "fishbowl." This has various forms, but all of them basically involve some kind of writing in public, usually with interaction between author and audience. A famous example is Harlan Ellison's series of "stories under glass" in which he sits in a bookstore window and writes a new story based on an idea that someone gives him. Writing classes sometimes include a version where students watch each other write, often with students calling out suggestions which are chalked up on the blackboard for those writing to use as inspiration.
In this online version of a Poetry Fishbowl, I begin by setting a theme; today's theme is "Polyamory in the QUILTBAG." I invite people to suggest characters, settings, and other things relating to that theme. Then I use those prompts as inspiration for writing poems.
Cyberfunded Creativity
I'm practicing cyberfunded creativity. If you enjoy what I'm doing and want to see more of it, please feed the Bard. The following options are currently available:
1) Sponsor the Fishbowl -- Here is a PayPal button for donations. There is no specific requirement, but $1 is the minimum recommended size for PayPal transactions since they take a cut from every one. You can also donate via check or money order sent by postal mail. If you make a donation and tell me about it, I promise to use one of your prompts. Anonymous donations are perfectly welcome, just won't get that perk. General donations will be tallied, and at the end of the fishbowl I’ll post a list of eligible poems based on the total funding; then the audience can vote on which they want to see posted.
2) Swim, Fishie, Swim! -- A feature in conjunction with fishbowl sponsorship is this progress meter showing the amount donated. There are multiple perks, the top one being a half-price poetry sale on one series when donations reach $300.
3) Buy It Now! -- Gakked from various e-auction sites, this feature allows you to sponsor a specific poem. If you don't want to wait for some editor to buy and publish my poem so you can read it, well, now you don't have to. Sponsoring a poem means that I will immediately post it on my blog for everyone to see, with the name of the sponsor (or another dedicate) if you wish; plus you get a nonexclusive publication right, so you can post it on your own blog or elsewhere as long as you keep the credits intact. You'll need to tell me the title of the poem you want to sponsor. I'm basing the prices on length, and they're comparable to what I typically make selling poetry to magazines (semi-pro rates according to Duotrope's Digest).
0-10 lines: $5
11-25 lines: $10
26-40 lines: $15
41-60 lines: $20
Poems over 60 lines, or with very intricate structure, fall into custom pricing.
4) Commission a scrapbook page. I can render a chosen poem in hardcopy format, on colorful paper, using archival materials for background and any embellishments. This will be suitable for framing or for adding to a scrapbook. Commission details are here. See latest photos of sample scrapbooked poems: "Sample Scrapbooked Poems 1-24-11"
5) Spread the word. Echo or link to this post on your Dreamwidth, other blog, Twitter, Facebook, Digg, StumbleUpon, or any other social network. Useful Twitter hashtags include #poetryfishbowl and #promptcall. Encourage people to come here and participate in the fishbowl. If you have room for it, including your own prompt will give your readers an idea of what the prompts should look like; ideally, update later to include the thumbnail of the poem I write, and a link to the poem if it gets published. If there is at least one new prompter or donor, I will post an extra freebie poem.
Linkback perk: I have a spare series poem available, and each linkback will reveal a verse of the poem. One person can do multiple links if they're on different services, like Dreamwidth or Twitter, rather than all on LiveJournal. Comment with a link to where you posted. "Homefree and Clear" has 8 verses and stands alone.
Additional Notes
1) I customarily post replies to prompt posts telling people which of their prompts I'm using, with a brief description of the resulting poem(s). If you want to know what's available, watch for those "thumbnails."
2) You don't have to pay me to see a poem based on a prompt that you gave me. I try to send copies of poems to people, mostly using the LJ message function. (Anonymous prompters will miss this perk unless you give me your eddress.) These are for-your-eyes-only, though, not for sharing.
3) Sponsors of the Poetry Fishbowl in general, or of specific poems, will gain access to an extra post in appreciation of their generosity. While you're on the Donors list, you can view all of the custom-locked posts in that category. Click the "donors" tag to read the archive of those. I've also posted a list of other donor perks there. I customarily leave donor names on the list for two months, so you'll get to see the perk-post from this month and next.
4) After the Poetry Fishbowl concludes, I will post a list of unsold poems and their prices, to make it easier for folks to see what they might want to sponsor.
5) If donations total $100 by Friday evening then you get a free $15 poem; $150 gets you a free $20 poem; and $200 gets you a free epic, posted after the Poetry Fishbowl. These will usually be series poems if I have them; otherwise I may offer non-series poems or series poems in a different size. If donations reach $250, you get one step toward a bonus fishbowl; four of these activates the perk, and they don't have to be four months in a row. Everyone will get to vote on which series, and give prompts during the extra fishbowl, although it may be a half-day rather than a whole day. If donations reach $300, there will be a half-price sale in one series.
Feed the Fish!
Now's your chance to participate in the creative process by posting ideas for me to write about. Today's theme is "Polyamory in the QUILTBAG." See above for details. If you manage to recommend a form that I don't recognize, I will probably pounce on it and ask you for its rules. I do have The New Book of Forms by Lewis Turco which covers most common and many obscure forms.
I'll post at least one of the fishbowl poems here so you-all can enjoy it. (Remember, you get an extra freebie poem if someone new posts a prompt or makes a donation, and additional perks at $100-$300 in donations. Linkbacks reveal verses of "Homefree and Clear." The rest of the poems will go into my archive for future use.
Starting now, the Poetry Fishbowl is open! Today's theme is "Polyamory in the QUILTBAG." I will be checking this page periodically throughout the day. When people make suggestions, I'll pick some and weave them together into a poem ... and then another ... and so on. I'm hoping to get a lot of ideas and a lot of poems.
I'll be soliciting ideas for polyfolk, people in the QUILTBAG, queer activists, gender scholars, historic queers, historic polyfamilies, queerplatonic partners, comares, superheroes, supervillains, counselors, other people who involved in QUILTBAG and polyamorous culture, studying the QUILTBAG, exploring your sexuality, creating intimacy, making friends, falling in love (or like), getting to know each other, growing closer, moving in together, formalizing a relationship, fumbling for vocabulary, starting a family, cooking together, discovering things, troubleshooting, improvising, adapting, cooperating, bartering, taking over in an emergency, discovering yourself, studying others, testing boundaries, coming of age, learning what you can (and can't) do, sharing, fixing what's broke, upsetting the status quo, changing the world, accomplishing the impossible, recovering from setbacks, sharehouses, intentional communities, other polyhomes, gay bars, feminist bookstores, queer studies departments in schools, QUILTBAG clubs, quiet rooms, queer-friendly workplaces, Utah, Boston, Thalassia, nonhuman environments, gardens, other QUILTBAG hangouts, diverse orientations, pride flags, other symbols of QUILTBAG identity, stores carrying QUILTBAG goods, queer-owned-and-operated businesses, magical aspects of sex/romance, how superpowers can complicate sexuality, queer-friendly and poly-friendly religions, family dynamics, alternative family structures, partnerships not based on sex/romance, layered personal boundaries, emotional closeness, first contact, things other species consider queer that humans don't, alien polyamory, interspecies relationships, trial and error, lab conditions are not field conditions, innovation, skin hunger, loneliness, problems that can't be solved by hitting, teamwork, found family, complementary strengths and weaknesses, personal growth, and poetic forms in particular.
I have several posts you may find inspiring:
QUILTBAG Characters
Romantic Orientations in My Characters
Sexual Orientations in My Characters
Genders in My Characters
See also:
The Ace-Aro Spectrum
Nonsexual Intimacies
Five Moments of Intimacy
A previous FMI bingo card from a fest on Allbingo
I encourage folks to prompt for more about polyfamilies I have already written about, because statting up lots of characters at once is really time-consuming. Ask me if you need more details about these. Options include:
POLYCHROME HEROICS
Marriage diversity in Terramagne-America
The Coral Reef
Kallistos family, also Clan Aspen and the Pans
Hefty/Roger-Diamond/Fiddlesticks
Tarnish/Cavalier/Princessa
Molly's polycule
Boston Wives TV show
OTHER SERIES
Feathered Nests families tend toward polyamory.
Frankenstein's Family has Csilla-Dorottya/Dénes the Brewer.
Most of Hart's Farm is poly free love whatever.
If your identity has not yet be represented, or only done badly, then by all means prompt for it and I'll do my best to fill the gap.
Currently eligible bingo card(s) for donors wishing to sponsor a square:
NCIS Bingo Card 11-1-21
Among my more relevant series for the main theme:
The Blueshift Troupers span a range of sexualities, and sometimes shift gender. They have pairings but are sort of all one big family.
Daughters of the Apocalypse has far more women than men, so lesbianism and bisexuality are considered sensible, but gay men may be seen as selfish. Larger families are likely more secure than smaller ones, and they usually have to share a man.
Polychrome Heroics has ordinary humans, supernaries, blue-plate specials, superheroes, supervillains, primal and animal soups all of whom have their own interpersonal expectations. QUILTBAG characters include Antimatter and Stalwart Stan, Pain's Gray, and Hefty in the Shiv thread (and Shiv is acespec).
Schrodinger's Heroes save the world from alternate dimensions, and they're a very diverse group in a very conservative area. Pat belongs to a polyfamily.
Or you can ask for something new.
I have a linkback poem, "Homefree and Clear" (8 verses).
What Is a Poetry Fishbowl?
Writing is usually considered a solitary pursuit. One exception to this is a fascinating exercise called a "fishbowl." This has various forms, but all of them basically involve some kind of writing in public, usually with interaction between author and audience. A famous example is Harlan Ellison's series of "stories under glass" in which he sits in a bookstore window and writes a new story based on an idea that someone gives him. Writing classes sometimes include a version where students watch each other write, often with students calling out suggestions which are chalked up on the blackboard for those writing to use as inspiration.
In this online version of a Poetry Fishbowl, I begin by setting a theme; today's theme is "Polyamory in the QUILTBAG." I invite people to suggest characters, settings, and other things relating to that theme. Then I use those prompts as inspiration for writing poems.
Cyberfunded Creativity
I'm practicing cyberfunded creativity. If you enjoy what I'm doing and want to see more of it, please feed the Bard. The following options are currently available:
1) Sponsor the Fishbowl -- Here is a PayPal button for donations. There is no specific requirement, but $1 is the minimum recommended size for PayPal transactions since they take a cut from every one. You can also donate via check or money order sent by postal mail. If you make a donation and tell me about it, I promise to use one of your prompts. Anonymous donations are perfectly welcome, just won't get that perk. General donations will be tallied, and at the end of the fishbowl I’ll post a list of eligible poems based on the total funding; then the audience can vote on which they want to see posted.
2) Swim, Fishie, Swim! -- A feature in conjunction with fishbowl sponsorship is this progress meter showing the amount donated. There are multiple perks, the top one being a half-price poetry sale on one series when donations reach $300.
3) Buy It Now! -- Gakked from various e-auction sites, this feature allows you to sponsor a specific poem. If you don't want to wait for some editor to buy and publish my poem so you can read it, well, now you don't have to. Sponsoring a poem means that I will immediately post it on my blog for everyone to see, with the name of the sponsor (or another dedicate) if you wish; plus you get a nonexclusive publication right, so you can post it on your own blog or elsewhere as long as you keep the credits intact. You'll need to tell me the title of the poem you want to sponsor. I'm basing the prices on length, and they're comparable to what I typically make selling poetry to magazines (semi-pro rates according to Duotrope's Digest).
0-10 lines: $5
11-25 lines: $10
26-40 lines: $15
41-60 lines: $20
Poems over 60 lines, or with very intricate structure, fall into custom pricing.
4) Commission a scrapbook page. I can render a chosen poem in hardcopy format, on colorful paper, using archival materials for background and any embellishments. This will be suitable for framing or for adding to a scrapbook. Commission details are here. See latest photos of sample scrapbooked poems: "Sample Scrapbooked Poems 1-24-11"
5) Spread the word. Echo or link to this post on your Dreamwidth, other blog, Twitter, Facebook, Digg, StumbleUpon, or any other social network. Useful Twitter hashtags include #poetryfishbowl and #promptcall. Encourage people to come here and participate in the fishbowl. If you have room for it, including your own prompt will give your readers an idea of what the prompts should look like; ideally, update later to include the thumbnail of the poem I write, and a link to the poem if it gets published. If there is at least one new prompter or donor, I will post an extra freebie poem.
Linkback perk: I have a spare series poem available, and each linkback will reveal a verse of the poem. One person can do multiple links if they're on different services, like Dreamwidth or Twitter, rather than all on LiveJournal. Comment with a link to where you posted. "Homefree and Clear" has 8 verses and stands alone.
Additional Notes
1) I customarily post replies to prompt posts telling people which of their prompts I'm using, with a brief description of the resulting poem(s). If you want to know what's available, watch for those "thumbnails."
2) You don't have to pay me to see a poem based on a prompt that you gave me. I try to send copies of poems to people, mostly using the LJ message function. (Anonymous prompters will miss this perk unless you give me your eddress.) These are for-your-eyes-only, though, not for sharing.
3) Sponsors of the Poetry Fishbowl in general, or of specific poems, will gain access to an extra post in appreciation of their generosity. While you're on the Donors list, you can view all of the custom-locked posts in that category. Click the "donors" tag to read the archive of those. I've also posted a list of other donor perks there. I customarily leave donor names on the list for two months, so you'll get to see the perk-post from this month and next.
4) After the Poetry Fishbowl concludes, I will post a list of unsold poems and their prices, to make it easier for folks to see what they might want to sponsor.
5) If donations total $100 by Friday evening then you get a free $15 poem; $150 gets you a free $20 poem; and $200 gets you a free epic, posted after the Poetry Fishbowl. These will usually be series poems if I have them; otherwise I may offer non-series poems or series poems in a different size. If donations reach $250, you get one step toward a bonus fishbowl; four of these activates the perk, and they don't have to be four months in a row. Everyone will get to vote on which series, and give prompts during the extra fishbowl, although it may be a half-day rather than a whole day. If donations reach $300, there will be a half-price sale in one series.
Feed the Fish!
Now's your chance to participate in the creative process by posting ideas for me to write about. Today's theme is "Polyamory in the QUILTBAG." See above for details. If you manage to recommend a form that I don't recognize, I will probably pounce on it and ask you for its rules. I do have The New Book of Forms by Lewis Turco which covers most common and many obscure forms.
I'll post at least one of the fishbowl poems here so you-all can enjoy it. (Remember, you get an extra freebie poem if someone new posts a prompt or makes a donation, and additional perks at $100-$300 in donations. Linkbacks reveal verses of "Homefree and Clear." The rest of the poems will go into my archive for future use.
Prompt
Date: 2021-11-02 06:49 pm (UTC)Re: Prompt
Date: 2021-11-10 04:02 am (UTC)"A Heart Is Not a Box"
Corey McQueen goes to college and finds a new family there.
388 lines, Buy It Now = $194
"Inevitable Like the Seasons"
Corey and her family buy a house together.
482 lines, Buy It Now = $241
"Something We Create"
Corey and her family launch a new business, the Ace Place.
169 lines, Buy It Now = $85
Re: Prompt
Date: 2021-11-10 02:56 pm (UTC)Hmmm...
Date: 2021-11-02 07:40 pm (UTC)If you aren't familiar with/planning on writing NCIS, I'd love to see more about Rugiero, Leo, and Olympia, and how they negotiated the arrangement they have now.
LIFC also has a whole handful of QUILTBAG characters, and seeing JARVIS and Clint explore what they have further wpuld be awesome to see too.
Re: Hmmm...
Date: 2021-11-02 10:26 pm (UTC)Also, Bruce and Tony have a deeply enmeshed Thing, which Betty joins in on, so is that a form of nonsexual poly? Theirs is less explicitly siblings than Clint and Tasha or Bucky and Steve, and you KNOW Tony has at least met a few Poly people, so what if he just casually starts referring to Betty as his Meta, and then we get to learn some new words.
Re: Hmmm...
Date: 2021-11-02 11:01 pm (UTC)So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-02 10:20 pm (UTC)Amry of One:
Many of the poly people I know in my community (including self and 3/4ths of my partners) are Autistic. Part of the overlap is not seeing the logic behind telling ourselves not to love whomever, or in telling people WE love not to love others. It's the same vibe as not understanding why people ask questions they would like us to lie about the answers to (if you ask how I'm doing, I'll tell you. Many NTs hate this.) or other social things. I predict that while the outsiders may assume nobody would be able to date in the Lacuna, in fact, there's loads of partnerships of all flavors, just... very rarely looking like the outside.
The school one of the kids in my family attends cut the sex ed for the Special Ed classes, because they assumed it wouldn't be needed. The initialization is SERIOUSLY dangerous, since not only do Autistic and other special needs kids also go through puberty, being non-verbal puts him at greater risk since if he's assaulted he's limited in how he can report. Not knowing the concepts just makes it worse. ABA related trauma also fucks with learning those base concepts as well. (Consent? Where was that when people hurt you 'for your own good'? Sounds fake.) I imagine the Lacuna has a number of people who also missed these bottom rungs and need to kludge a solution.
Polychrome:
Coral Reef! I loved their start story, especially the magnificent polyhouses. I would love to see more about them, especially about the architect figuring out that not dating them doesn't mean he's not family ("one of us, one of us," chants the polycule. We're agglutinative like that.) Or their kids interacting, since they're being relatively co-raised. Our polywogs aren't old enough to really notice, for the most part, but there have been moments. (Child, to me and my boyfriend: Are you dating? Me: Yes. Child, with glee like I got caught doing something embarrassing: Are you IN LOVE? Me:...yes? Child: cackles like a tiny madman so hard he doesn't notice his dad put more veggies on his plate.)
Schrodinger's Heroes:
Pat's polyfamily supporting the Tef crew in some way. Not with science but with common sense or communication skills or something more mundane. Maybe someone comes through the Tef and needs a cultural translator and because the poly community does communication like a boss, they sort the issue out together.
Shiv meeting Molly's polycule? Have we done that? I know we have things after he knows them all, but do we have the meeting when he figures out the relationships? I imagine that caused a storm inside his head a bit, with his bad tape (akin to people who flip because they assume the options are Single, Faithful, and Cheating, with no option for Ethical Non Monogamy), that would need to be worked through before he can be functional about it.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 12:34 am (UTC)So much this. I may deflect if I don't want people to know something, but usually if they ask, I'll answer. Many of my answers displease people. If they whine about it, I just say, "Don't ask questions that you don't want to know the answers to."
I am even more resentful of people who lie about things and then bitch because I took it at face value. No, I won't translate your stupid social lies. You can tell the truth or get the fuck away from me.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 01:02 am (UTC)Would it help if I tried to dig up some online resources, re: consent, birth control, whatever?
Disclamer: I'm not certain what level of language processing is implied by nonverbal, so I can't say if anything I pull up will be useful in it's original form...or at all for that matter.
>>I imagine the Lacuna has a number of people who also missed these bottom rungs and need to kludge a solution.<<
Some kind of mediator, I guess.
>>Child: cackles like a tiny madman...<<
This is adorable, hilarious, and probably a good way to get kids to eat vegetables.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 01:13 am (UTC)Disclamer: I'm not certain what level of language processing is implied by nonverbal, so I can't say if anything I pull up will be useful in it's original form...or at all for that matter.<<
Yes please! He's at the level of "does not speak if upset, speaks in shorter than age-normal sentences and words with less grasp of grammar when not upset, sometimes reads but is less interested in written words than videos/pictures" language processing, but anything is helpful at this point. We've been using the Planned Parenthood stuff as a base, and recently got pointed at Amaze, but any new resources are good.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 01:41 am (UTC)Sorry, I don't currently have an account, so I can't send individual messages or whatever.
I don't think I've seen your resources, but a few of the things I'm thinking of have cartoons or pictures.
I have a very...eclectic I guess? sort of experience with language/communication though I don't have formal training in anything. (Several long stories' worth of experience, I think.)
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 04:11 pm (UTC)I've had scientific discussions with ten-year-olds, and doodled pictures to converse with adults, so, yeah, unusual reference pool on my end.
I suspect a drawing-conversation might work for your young person?
Anyway, I hope at least some of these links are useful for you-all, as resources or conversation prompts or whatever.
Right, here goes:
- - -
Everyday Feminism has some good articles:
Consent Castle
https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/07/metaphor-for-consent/
7 ways to Practice Consent Out of the Bedroom
(This one is wordy)
https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/11/practice-consent-beyond-sex/
They also have a bunch of articles discussing how parent can teach kids consent; if you google "Everyday Feminism Kids Consent" it should pull up a good list.
What If We Treated All Consent Like Society Treats Sexual Consent?
(This one might be useful if you have to get a neurotypical person to back off)
https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/how-society-treats-consent/
- - -
Pizza as a new consent metaphor:
(This link includes recipies)
https://healthyheels.org/2020/04/17/consent-as-a-pizza/amp/
https://www.intheknow.com/post/expert-reveals-the-incredibly-problematic-issue-with-common-sex-metaphor/?amp
- - -
I don't know if your household is a fan of Steven Universe, but some of the episodes touch on consent, and I think they do a pretty good job. They've also got decent representation of queer characters.
- - -
Where Women Have No Doctor is a healthcare manual for places where medical care is not availible. It is written for people who may not be literate or may be ESL speakers, so the language is simple and to the point. And it is illustrated with little cartoon people.
While it does mostly focus on girls/women some of the stuff should transfer. I'm particularly impressed by the birth control part, but some other sections may be useful. (I'd suggest skimming the table of contents and seeing what looks useful.)
I like paper books, but here's an online version.
https://en.hesperian.org/hhg/Where_Women_Have_No_Doctor
- - -
Terramagne / Finn family sex ed:
Basic:
(This does involve a sex talk but no actual sex onscreen.)
https://dialecticdreamer.dreamwidth.org/643612.html
https://dialecticdreamer.dreamwidth.org/644420.html
Somewhat more advanced. (I.e. consent/safety precautions relating to kink and regular sex. Again no actual sex onscreen.):
https://dialecticdreamer.dreamwidth.org/654006.html#cutid1
- - -
I'll add in two thoughts from myself; use ior discard as you will:
How I've explained play-vs-bullying / consent to kids*:
1 Anyonce can say no at any time
2 Make sure everyone has fun
3 Take reasonable safety precautions (i.e. wrestle on the grass not the asphalt)
*I am not a parent (I came up with this while volunteering), so YMMV.
-
And while I'm not sure if your kid is artsy, maybe there are art worksheets or art projects that could illustrate concepts?
I have had hand-drawn conversations with people - if you go this route a small pocket notebook may be useful.
And if you make custom small written/pictogram cards (which were suggested elsethread), you can laminate them with clear packing tape. (I find rounding the corners is sometimes helpful as well.)
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 01:31 am (UTC)71 lines, Buy It Now = $36
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 01:47 am (UTC)Well, that's how we get a rate of ~90% abuse survivors among people with disabilities or differences.
>> The initialization is SERIOUSLY dangerous, since not only do Autistic and other special needs kids also go through puberty, <<
No shit. If you have gonads you need to know how they work and how to keep them from doing things you don't want. It is especially vital to understand that they are designed to hijack the higher brain so that the species may be continued, if you want any chance of preventing them from doing their thing when it would be against your interests to reproduce.
>> being non-verbal puts him at greater risk since if he's assaulted he's limited in how he can report. <<
Verbal language is great in general, but it's not for everyone, and that's okay. Explore alternative options until he finds one that feels comfortable for him. These include but are not limited to:
* sign languages
* symbol-based pointboards or programs
* phrase lists of commonly needed expressions for use in emergencies
* speech synthesizers
* manipulatives (e.g. anatomically correct dolls or puzzle-models for sex ed)
>> Not knowing the concepts just makes it worse.<<
That is true. It's also often deliberate.
* When a group is designated as lesser, then depriving those people of knowledge makes them easier to control and abuse.
* Most people are uncomfortable with the idea of disabled or different people being sexually active. It really creeps them out.
>> ABA related trauma also fucks with learning those base concepts as well. <<
Yeah, legalized abuse is a serious and growing problem in this culture.
>> (Consent? Where was that when people hurt you 'for your own good'? Sounds fake.) <<
You may as well be honest: it's not about consent, it's about POWER. Those with power are free to violate those without. Police are free to rape citizens under the guise of "searching for drugs," and so on. You can't violate anyone of equal or greater status, though. That's why people talk about consent like it's real.
So, boundaries are for people with power. Reporting is for when someone without authority commits a violation. Useful to know for interpersonal relationships regarding what is and isn't okay to do.
If you want frank and flexible sex ed, I suggest looking for kinky or polyamorous groups in your area. They spend a lot of time cleaning up messes that society makes. They would probably rather prevent problems than mop up afterwards.
>> I imagine the Lacuna has a number of people who also missed these bottom rungs and need to kludge a solution. <<
Likely so.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 02:09 am (UTC)Saying anything less perpetuates and reinforces those abhorrent societal beliefs. Fight the Shadows.
... Sorry, Ysabet. <3 you, but I couldn't not chime in.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 02:36 am (UTC)I don't agree with this shithole society. But I have to deal with it the way it is, not the way I wish it was.
So for example, the reason very few people report violations is because they're aware -- they have experienced and/or seen it happen to others -- that the cost of seeking justice frequently exceeds the gain obtained from doing so. When justice cannot be obtained, it is reasonable to minimize further losses. This is, of course, toxic to a functional society. People will look for other ways to solve their problems.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 04:18 pm (UTC)I have the right to walk down dark alleys in the bad part of town, with ropes of diamonds and pearls wrapped around me...but actually doing that would likely not end well, a la Batman origin story...well, aside from the vigilante kid part. And if I tried it, then tried to pull an "I have rights" gambit... self inflicted lethal stupidity.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 08:15 pm (UTC)I think that when a society has a lot of laws and rights that aren't real -- things that are illegal but allowed, and things that are legal but not allowed -- the result is a delusional society with little grasp of reality. I complained about this all through school because the adults demanded that children memorize things that were demonstrably false like freedom of speech. It drove adults batshit when I shrugged and told the other kids, "Test it." They tested it, disproved the claims, and then also bitched about being required to parrot false things. That was one of the few topics where anyone actually listened to me, but they were already suspicious and it was easily disproved.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 08:31 pm (UTC)Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 08:44 pm (UTC)It's a failure of victim selection. They should've looked at his clothes and his body, not just the damn car. A thief will show mismatches that an owner usually won't.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-05 01:28 am (UTC)He wasn't interested in getting nasty with the town or the cops. All he really wanted was for him and his rich brown friends to be able to do the same thing his rich white neighbors and their rich white friends could do: come to their houses and leave later without being hassled by the cops. So what he did was a show of force -- following which, the town took some necessary steps to forestall recurrences, various agreements were signed, and the matter concluded without either side having made enemies of the other. Which last would not have done anyone any good.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-05 01:32 am (UTC)Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 04:14 pm (UTC)...assuming you can type and have a smartphone at least.
Re: So many prompts
Date: 2021-11-03 05:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-11-02 10:35 pm (UTC)https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jenVMnOi2uA
Note: It would be particularly interesting to see multispecies alloparenting...
Terramagne: do the cetaceans consider it odd/unusual to 'pod' with landers? Does it vary by culture?
Feathered Nests: are there ace Fifers? What happens to Fifers who don't wish to court, for whatever reason? (Especially as they seem not to stay with natal families in adulthood?)
Schrodinger's: How often does Pat's family end up filtering EFA, social or queer issues the locals aren't equipped to handle?
Possible character inspiration?
https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/09/non-monogamy-options/
Romantic rivals who are /not/ interested in each other talk it out like adults with the object of their affection, who is not obligated to reciprocate.
Healthy poly/monogamous split orientation relationship.
Line I got from somewhere on the internet: "Hey is anyone gonna raise that?"
Poem
Date: 2021-11-03 01:32 am (UTC)71 lines, Buy It Now = $36
Re: Poem
Date: 2021-11-03 04:14 pm (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2021-11-02 11:27 pm (UTC)On a different topic, how do multiples interact with polyamory? Different headmates will likely have different ideas about partners, but there's only one body to go around, and every partner should have some time with their respective beloveds.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2021-11-03 03:42 am (UTC)96 lines, Buy It Now = $48
(no subject)
Date: 2021-11-03 01:46 am (UTC)Basically, the one thing that the mystics groups I hear from right now, is that Love is Divine, and that we need to love more, each other *and* ourselves, and the Earth we ALL need to share. 💜💚🌍🌏🌎🤟💞💕
Could just be sites for the Clinical Pastoral Education clergy are expected to serve. www.acpe.edu is most well known, but I'm looking at this one as less Christian in focus: https://www.cpsp.org/Web/Clinical-Training/Why-CPET/Web/Clinical-Training/Why-CPET.aspx?hkey=d4383c68-47e7-4e0e-b0bc-92e356342856
Poem
Date: 2021-11-03 07:31 am (UTC)121 lines, Buy It Now = $61
(no subject)
Date: 2021-11-03 02:26 am (UTC)Poem
Date: 2021-11-20 03:13 am (UTC)"The Things You Do"
Story Date: Sunday, September 1, 2013
Summary: Frustrated by a lack of contact and communication, Tarnish kidnaps Cavalier and demands to know what is going on.
109 lines, Buy It Now = $55
"Never Accept an Apology"
Story Date: Monday, September 2, 2013
Summary: Princessa takes Cavalier to see Aubrey the Alabaster.
135 lines, Buy It Now = $68
"Spiraling Out of Control"
Story Date: Saturday, September 14, 2013
Summary: Princessa finds that Tarnish is not handling the recent revelation well, and he gets into a fight.
104 lines, Buy It Now = $52
"The Fourth for My Enemies"
Story Date: Friday, September 27, 2013
Summary: Cavalier and Princessa find Tarnish drunk in a bar.
197 lines, Buy It Now = $99
"When in a Dark Place"
Story Date: Friday, September 27, 2013
Summary: Tarnish winds up at the Riverton Sobering Center, courtesy of his frenemies.
1085 lines, Buy It Now = $542
"Our Power to Change"
Story Date: Saturday, September 28, 2013
Summary: Tarnish wakes up the next morning and attempts to make plans for improvement.
1343 lines, Buy It Now = $672
"Bad Turn to Good"
Story Date: Saturday, November 23, 2013
Summary: Cavalier and Princessa finally manage to catch Tarnish in a condition to talk.
288 lines, Buy It Now = $144
"Care and Take Care"
Story Date: Saturday, December 7, 2013
Summary: Tarnish, Cavalier, and Princessa talk with the Parquetry family about polyamory.
984 lines, Buy It Now = $492
(no subject)
Date: 2021-11-03 04:02 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-11-03 11:41 am (UTC)You know, polyamory is the normal for cetaceans (some species are serially faithful but that's as far as it goes) ... I'm just imagining the various cetacean's who know here, taking an interest in Aida's love life (or lack thereof) now she's away from her family 'pod'. Cetacean dating advice basically...
Something tells me there would be abundant confusion on all sides...
Poem
Date: 2021-11-06 08:02 pm (UTC)146 lines, Buy It Now = $73
Done for the night!
Date: 2021-11-03 12:10 pm (UTC)Poem
Date: 2021-11-06 02:29 am (UTC)46 lines, Buy It Now = $20