Poem: "Beyond Any Other Emotional Pain"
Oct. 27th, 2020 05:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem was written outside the regular prompt calls. It fills the "My "people skills" are "rusty." square in my 10-1-20 card for the Fall Festival Bingo. It has been sponsored by a pool with ng_moonmoth. This poem belongs to the China's Mistake, Shiv, and Finn Family threads of the Polychrome Heroics series. It follows "Worth Defending" and "Comfort on Difficult Days" so read those first or this won't make any sense.
WARNING: This poem contains intense and controversial topics likely to disturb some readers. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. It features the aftermath of a kidnapping attempt turned street fight, talking to a policeman, asking for help and getting it, skittishness, fear of legal trouble, vulgar language, with an F-bomb here and an F-bomb there, low self-worth, preventable death due to delayed medical care, emotional overwhelm, going nonverbal, pacing, society FAIL, report of Mob violence disposing of threats, ruthlessly thorough response to kidnapping threat, excessive force, violation of medical neutrality, betrayal, horribly messy supervillain ethical issues, in which honesty creates a solution-caused problem, moral injury, emotional meltdown, rejection, smacking, serious cross-Family conflict, Boss Finn is pissed, somebody's gonna get it, called into the office, fear, resisting the urge to cut, wall-thumping, trying not to cry, calling for backup, and other mayhem. Bear in mind that this is heavy-duty hurt/comfort, more hurt than comfort in this part, and the sequel with more comfort isn't sponsored yet. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"Beyond Any Other Emotional Pain"
[Thursday, February 4, 2016 around 8 PM in Mercedes, California]
By the time the credits rolled
on Kiki's Delivery Service,
Edison was asleep on Shiv.
Even Mrs. Wu was dozing
in the rocking chair.
"I need to take Edison
to bed now," Graham said.
"You just sit still and let me
shift him, I know how."
Shiv watched, bemused,
as Graham peeled off
one limb at a time.
Just like a baby monkey,
Edison immediately clutched
whatever was under his hands,
now Graham instead of Shiv.
As soon as they left the room,
Shiv went to visit the bathroom.
When he came back, Elisabeth
was talking with Mrs. Wu.
"I can ask Molly to drive
you home," Elisabeth said.
"Yes, that would be nice,"
said Mrs. Wu. "I'll want
someone at the house
tomorrow, as well, but
I'm too tired to think
about that tonight."
"No trouble at all,"
Elisabeth said. "I'll just
ask around and see
who's up for that."
Molly came downstairs
and Mrs. Wu left with her.
Peter Rybokov was
still there, watching Shiv.
With a sigh, Shiv said,
"You wanted to grill me?"
"I would like to hear your view
of what happened," Peter said.
"I don't presently have a reason
to push you, so you may decline.
You have a right to a lawyer or
other support person while
talking to a police officer."
Shiv nibbled his lip. He
could get a lawyer from
the Finns, or call his boss
which he didn't want to do,
but that would just drag it out.
Instead he looked at Elisabeth.
"I would be honored to sit in
if that would make you feel
better," she said instantly.
"Uh, yeah," Shiv said,
shuffling from foot to foot.
"Sit back down," Peter invited.
"We might as well get comfortable."
Shiv clung to Elisabeth, and she
obliged by sharing the couch
with him as they sat down.
"No need to get fancy,"
Peter said. "Just tell me
what you remember, Shiv."
"Not much to tell," Shiv replied.
"We were out walking and two guys
stepped in front of us. They said
come with them and I said fuck no."
"Not very polite," Peter said.
"My people skills are
rusty," Shiv drawled.
"I meant them, sorry,"
said Peter. "Please
continue your story."
"Then two more guys
came through the bushes,"
Shiv said. "The ones on
the ends of the line had
knives out, but they were
all armed to the fuckin' teeth
underneath their clothes."
"What alerted you to
the concealed weapons?"
Peter wondered.
Shiv fidgeted. "Well,
uh, I could see some,
like outlines under cloth.
Plus I can, um, feel things.
With my superpower. Just
hard things, like metal."
"What a wonderful gift,"
Peter said wistfully. "Go on."
"So one guy said they were
taking Edison, and they'd
take me too, maybe get
more money that way,"
Shiv continued.
Elisabeth growled.
Shiv flinched away,
and she stopped.
Even Peter looked
a bit spooked, and
he was a cop.
"I'm sorry, Shiv, that
was rude," she said. "I
didn't mean to upset you.
That detail hadn't come out
earlier, and it startled me."
Which was about as safe
as poking a lioness, but
Shiv didn't say that.
"What happened
next?" Peter prompted.
"I clued Edison to split,"
Shiv said. "Then I ... um ..."
This was the part that
could really get him
in trouble, because he
used superpowers
to injure people.
"I broke some ribs,
just enough to put 'em
on the ground," Shiv said.
"One guy had a bolt pistol.
I kicked it away from him."
"Well done," said Boss Finn,
and oddly enough, that
helped Shiv settle.
"The guys weren't in
good shape, so I called
911, but Dispatch didn't
seem to believe me, so
fuck it," Shiv said. "I
hung up and came here."
"I hadn't heard that part
either," Peter said, frowning.
"I'll follow up on that call.
In any case, your efforts
indicate responsibility in
light of appropriate force."
Dr. Bloch had taught him
that, too -- how calling for
an ambulance could get you
off the hook if you needed
to hurt someone and then
look like a citizen instead of
just another street thug.
Looks like it worked.
Shiv was gonna owe him
so many favors now.
That was better than
getting dragged to
the police station
to "explain himself,"
though, so Shiv
wasn't complaining.
"Thank you for sharing,"
said Peter. "I'll go make
some calls, but I doubt we'll
need to bother you much more
about this. Mercedes police
already knew about threats to
the Finns, and we appreciate
your help in protecting them."
Shiv dropped his jaw. He'd
never had a cop thank him
for getting in a street fight.
Graham came back then,
and Shiv scrambled up
to meet him, craving
the reassurance again.
Peter drifted away
to use his phone.
Graham ghosted
an arm around
Shiv's shoulders,
echoing the lightness
of Shiv's usual contact.
It was warm and familiar,
and it helped Shiv settle.
Then Graham gave
him a more serious look.
"Thank you," he said solemnly.
"I can never repay what you did
today, what you did to protect
my family. You risked your life
to keep my son safe. If you ever
need anything, just ask, and if it's
mine to give or to do, it is yours."
Shiv blinked. "Uh ... thanks?"
he said. "I mean, it wasn't
much of a risk. I'm muscle.
That's what I'm for."
"Not in this family,"
Graham said. "We
deeply appreciate
the gift, but it's neither
expected nor required."
The freakiest thing about
the Finns was that they
wanted him just for himself,
not for what he could do,
and how crazy was that?
Shiv kinda liked it, though.
He eeled out of Graham's grip
and went to help Elisabeth
pick up the platters and cups.
The kitchen was quiet as they
washed dishes, dried things,
and put them all away.
Shiv could hear the sound
of Graham and Peter talking,
but couldn't make out the words,
not that he was really trying.
The door opened and closed --
Peter heading out, probably.
When Shiv went back into
the living room, with Elisabeth
drifting behind him, Graham
met him with a serious look.
Shiv backpedaled, bumping
into Elisabeth, who caught him.
"Shit, what'd I do now?" Shiv said.
"I'm in trouble again, aren't I?"
"No, you are not in trouble,"
Graham said, shaking his head.
"I have news. Peter and I thought
it would be better for me to tell you,
so he returned to the police station
to deal with paperwork there."
"Okay," Shiv said. He sat down,
tucking his hands under his thighs
so he wouldn't fidget. "Hit me."
"One of the four attackers died at
the hospital," Graham said. "That was
not your fault, Shiv. The head surgeon is
adamant that if the patient had arrived
'in a timely manner' then he'd still be alive.
Peter talked with the supervisor, who is
outraged, and the dispatcher you called
has already been fired from her job."
"Well, good," Shiv snapped. "I mean,
good that she's fired, not good that
the fucker died. Maybe that too,
though. Shit. Fuck. I don't know."
He popped up off the couch
and began pacing the room.
One hand scuffed through
his hair, then smoothed it down.
"Do you need more room to move?"
Graham asked, stepping out of
his way. "Someone to talk with?
Or should I leave you alone?"
Not alone, no, but Shiv
didn't want to admit that.
The words got stuck in
his throat. Frustrated, he
shook his head. He made
another loop around the room,
falling into a pattern among
the pieces of furniture.
The Finns stood quietly
and let him pace, instead
of nagging him to stop it.
Gradually Shiv slowed down,
then brushed past Graham,
the brief contact helping
him begin to settle.
After a few more loops,
Graham lifted a hand and
feathered it over Shiv's back.
Shiv turned on his toe and
leaned into the gentle touch.
He was panting like he'd
run around the block.
"Whatever you need,"
Graham murmured. "I'm
here for you. I know that
this is a difficult situation."
Shiv gave a broken laugh.
"This is so fucked up," he said.
"They weren't supposed to die.
They were just supposed
to stay the fuck down."
"I understand," Graham said.
"You didn't use lethal force, you
just made incapacitating injuries.
You called help as soon as it was
safe to do so. It's not your fault
that someone else fucked up."
Shiv jerked in surprise, looking
up at Graham. "You, um ..."
"I don't usually swear, no,
but Edison is in bed and that is
an apt term for what happened,"
Graham said calmly. "I'm not
a saint, Shiv, and I'm disgusted
by the dispatcher's incompetence.
All the thugs should have lived to see
trial and a very long prison term."
Shiv didn't think the survivors
would appreciate that much.
They looked like hardasses.
"I'll make sure the local system
gets a thorough overhaul so this
doesn't happen again," Elisabeth said.
"I feel like society embarrassed itself
in front of someone who's trying
to do the right thing now."
Shiv twitched his shoulder.
"I guess so," he said. "Better
to fix it now so it doesn't get worse."
"Exactly," she said. "Thank you
for helping us find the flaw."
The dead guy had found it,
really, but all that mattered
was fixing the problem before
someone innocent died of it.
Shiv heaved a sigh. "What
a fucking day," he said.
"Painfully true," Elisabeth said.
"Don't worry about it, though.
I've passed the word, and
other people will keep watch
against any further attacks.
You can relax now."
"I wish," Shiv said,
but Dr. G was warm
and solid, helping him
unwind a little bit.
Then the door opened.
Leo slipped into the house,
lean and neat and Italian.
Shiv had met him before,
but tonight Leo looked
dangerous in a way
that he usually didn't.
Carefully Shiv sidled
in front of Graham.
"Don't worry," Leo said.
"Everything is taken care of.
The kidnappers have been
disposed of and so have
their employers. It was
assured that allies were
together so no suspicion
could fall on them."
Shiv's stomach
dropped. "What --"
"You mean you just
murdered three people
and came here to brag
about it?" Graham said.
"No, of course not," Leo said.
"The matter was handled by
someone else. I was merely
directed to come here and
inform you of the lowered
level of threat to your Family."
"They weren't supposed
to die!" Shiv snapped.
"That's excessive force."
"They were dead
the moment they took
aim at Edison Finn,"
Leo said evenly.
"That is nuts,"
Shiv said, glaring.
He was trying to be,
if not good, at least
not a total nutjob, and
this was what he got.
"That is necessary,"
Leo said. "We cannot
afford to let them get away
with stealing superkids --
any soups, but especially
children. It is bad enough
that some traffickers have
succeeded in secret."
"Okay, I get that it's bad,
but we're not assassins,"
Shiv said. "Guy's gotta
have some standards."
"One of ours is that
slavery is not permitted,"
Leo said. "I was given
to understand that is
a rule in Omaha too."
"Well, yeah," Shiv said.
"Boss White is real serious
about making that stick."
"So you see, if we let it go,
none of our children would be
safe," Leo said. "Furthermore,
it is a slap in the face of the Family,
saying that we cannot protect our own."
Shiv understood that much, all right.
The Ebonies & Ivories might not
sell protection, but he knew how
it was supposed to work -- and
that Boss White wouldn't let
anyone fuck with his people.
If you didn't stick up for each other,
well, he'd seen it in the Hammerheads
and never wanted to see that again.
Shiv was shaking, but he couldn't
stop now. "Why come here?"
he said. "The fewer people
know, the less chance for
anything to leak out."
"I was ordered to explain,"
Leo said. "Some people
needed to know about it.
This is a Family rule."
"What the fuck kind of
rule is that?" Shiv said.
Boss White didn't take
a job away from him and
then rub his nose in it.
"It is better for people
to be told honestly than
to find out about it later,"
Leo said, grimacing. "This
is a lesson that our Family
has learned the hard way."
"Yeah well, I'm not in
your fuckin' Family and I'm
fuckin' glad," Shiv said,
his voice cracking.
Graham reached for him,
and Shiv smacked his hand
away. "Leave me the fuck alone."
"Okay." Graham spread his hands.
"I'll try not to bother you again."
"It was not my intention
to cause pain," Leo said.
Graham turned a gimlet eye
on the man. "The worst pain in
the world goes beyond the physical,"
he said in a cutting tone. "Even further
beyond any other emotional pain one
can feel. It is the betrayal of a friend."
Leo flinched at the sharp words.
Shiv could see Boss Finn flexing
the fingers of her knife hand.
He skittered out of the way,
not wanting to block her.
"I need to use the office,"
she said through her teeth.
"Yes, of course," said Graham.
"I'm sure the privacy field
will be very helpful."
"You," Boss Finn said,
jabbing a finger at Leo.
"Get your ass in there.
I am extremely displeased
with your behavior tonight."
Somebody was gonna get it.
Shiv really wanted to be
somewhere else now.
"Shiv, why don't you go
splash some water on
your face," Graham said.
"It might help you feel better."
"Yeah," Shiv said, his throat
dry and tight. "Good idea."
He bolted for the bathroom.
Inside, Shiv pushed the door
so hard that it bounced, and
he kicked it out of the way.
Splashing water on his face
did not help. Drinking from
the faucet made his throat
feel less like a gravel road,
though, so that was good.
His head buzzed. It had
just been a street fight, and
now four guys were dead.
Shiv liked gang life,
which was dangerous
and could get people killed,
but it wasn't usually like this.
The Mob was fucking scary.
Shiv thumped his back
against the wall, which he
wasn't supposed to do,
but it helped ground him.
Couldn't cut, couldn't
let out the tension that way,
because his hands were
shaking too much.
Everything was
shaky, and he didn't
know what to do.
Shiv slid down the wall,
coming to rest on the floor.
A soft tap on the door,
then Graham asked,
"How are you doing?"
"Fuck off," Shiv choked.
He had to concentrate
on not crying, or he'd
really lose his grip.
"I know you don't want
company right now, but
I'm worried," Graham said.
"Is there anything that --"
"There's nothing you can do!"
Shiv said. "Four guys are dead
because I put 'em on the ground,
and that's not something you can fix."
"I know," Graham said hoarsely.
Well, fuck. Now Shiv had gone
and broken him too. Fuck fuck fuck.
"May I call Tolli and Simon?"
Graham said. "This is outside
my training, but they have
more experience with combat
and coping with ... its aftermath."
Tolli. Simon. They weren't
gangmates, but they would
understand, if anyone could.
Shiv tried to answer, but
his voice wouldn't work.
He nudged the door open
and gave Graham a nod.
"Okay. I'll call them,"
Graham said. "I'll close
the door for you, but please
don't lock it, so they can get in."
Shiv nodded again, and
the door closed quietly.
He put his chin on his knees
and rocked, trying to hold in
the tears, hold himself together.
Tolli and Simon would come. They
would know what to do. They would.
Shiv just had to hang on until they got here.
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its notes appear elsewhere.
ng_moonmoth. This poem belongs to the China's Mistake, Shiv, and Finn Family threads of the Polychrome Heroics series. It follows "Worth Defending" and "Comfort on Difficult Days" so read those first or this won't make any sense.WARNING: This poem contains intense and controversial topics likely to disturb some readers. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. It features the aftermath of a kidnapping attempt turned street fight, talking to a policeman, asking for help and getting it, skittishness, fear of legal trouble, vulgar language, with an F-bomb here and an F-bomb there, low self-worth, preventable death due to delayed medical care, emotional overwhelm, going nonverbal, pacing, society FAIL, report of Mob violence disposing of threats, ruthlessly thorough response to kidnapping threat, excessive force, violation of medical neutrality, betrayal, horribly messy supervillain ethical issues, in which honesty creates a solution-caused problem, moral injury, emotional meltdown, rejection, smacking, serious cross-Family conflict, Boss Finn is pissed, somebody's gonna get it, called into the office, fear, resisting the urge to cut, wall-thumping, trying not to cry, calling for backup, and other mayhem. Bear in mind that this is heavy-duty hurt/comfort, more hurt than comfort in this part, and the sequel with more comfort isn't sponsored yet. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"Beyond Any Other Emotional Pain"
[Thursday, February 4, 2016 around 8 PM in Mercedes, California]
By the time the credits rolled
on Kiki's Delivery Service,
Edison was asleep on Shiv.
Even Mrs. Wu was dozing
in the rocking chair.
"I need to take Edison
to bed now," Graham said.
"You just sit still and let me
shift him, I know how."
Shiv watched, bemused,
as Graham peeled off
one limb at a time.
Just like a baby monkey,
Edison immediately clutched
whatever was under his hands,
now Graham instead of Shiv.
As soon as they left the room,
Shiv went to visit the bathroom.
When he came back, Elisabeth
was talking with Mrs. Wu.
"I can ask Molly to drive
you home," Elisabeth said.
"Yes, that would be nice,"
said Mrs. Wu. "I'll want
someone at the house
tomorrow, as well, but
I'm too tired to think
about that tonight."
"No trouble at all,"
Elisabeth said. "I'll just
ask around and see
who's up for that."
Molly came downstairs
and Mrs. Wu left with her.
Peter Rybokov was
still there, watching Shiv.
With a sigh, Shiv said,
"You wanted to grill me?"
"I would like to hear your view
of what happened," Peter said.
"I don't presently have a reason
to push you, so you may decline.
You have a right to a lawyer or
other support person while
talking to a police officer."
Shiv nibbled his lip. He
could get a lawyer from
the Finns, or call his boss
which he didn't want to do,
but that would just drag it out.
Instead he looked at Elisabeth.
"I would be honored to sit in
if that would make you feel
better," she said instantly.
"Uh, yeah," Shiv said,
shuffling from foot to foot.
"Sit back down," Peter invited.
"We might as well get comfortable."
Shiv clung to Elisabeth, and she
obliged by sharing the couch
with him as they sat down.
"No need to get fancy,"
Peter said. "Just tell me
what you remember, Shiv."
"Not much to tell," Shiv replied.
"We were out walking and two guys
stepped in front of us. They said
come with them and I said fuck no."
"Not very polite," Peter said.
"My people skills are
rusty," Shiv drawled.
"I meant them, sorry,"
said Peter. "Please
continue your story."
"Then two more guys
came through the bushes,"
Shiv said. "The ones on
the ends of the line had
knives out, but they were
all armed to the fuckin' teeth
underneath their clothes."
"What alerted you to
the concealed weapons?"
Peter wondered.
Shiv fidgeted. "Well,
uh, I could see some,
like outlines under cloth.
Plus I can, um, feel things.
With my superpower. Just
hard things, like metal."
"What a wonderful gift,"
Peter said wistfully. "Go on."
"So one guy said they were
taking Edison, and they'd
take me too, maybe get
more money that way,"
Shiv continued.
Elisabeth growled.
Shiv flinched away,
and she stopped.
Even Peter looked
a bit spooked, and
he was a cop.
"I'm sorry, Shiv, that
was rude," she said. "I
didn't mean to upset you.
That detail hadn't come out
earlier, and it startled me."
Which was about as safe
as poking a lioness, but
Shiv didn't say that.
"What happened
next?" Peter prompted.
"I clued Edison to split,"
Shiv said. "Then I ... um ..."
This was the part that
could really get him
in trouble, because he
used superpowers
to injure people.
"I broke some ribs,
just enough to put 'em
on the ground," Shiv said.
"One guy had a bolt pistol.
I kicked it away from him."
"Well done," said Boss Finn,
and oddly enough, that
helped Shiv settle.
"The guys weren't in
good shape, so I called
911, but Dispatch didn't
seem to believe me, so
fuck it," Shiv said. "I
hung up and came here."
"I hadn't heard that part
either," Peter said, frowning.
"I'll follow up on that call.
In any case, your efforts
indicate responsibility in
light of appropriate force."
Dr. Bloch had taught him
that, too -- how calling for
an ambulance could get you
off the hook if you needed
to hurt someone and then
look like a citizen instead of
just another street thug.
Looks like it worked.
Shiv was gonna owe him
so many favors now.
That was better than
getting dragged to
the police station
to "explain himself,"
though, so Shiv
wasn't complaining.
"Thank you for sharing,"
said Peter. "I'll go make
some calls, but I doubt we'll
need to bother you much more
about this. Mercedes police
already knew about threats to
the Finns, and we appreciate
your help in protecting them."
Shiv dropped his jaw. He'd
never had a cop thank him
for getting in a street fight.
Graham came back then,
and Shiv scrambled up
to meet him, craving
the reassurance again.
Peter drifted away
to use his phone.
Graham ghosted
an arm around
Shiv's shoulders,
echoing the lightness
of Shiv's usual contact.
It was warm and familiar,
and it helped Shiv settle.
Then Graham gave
him a more serious look.
"Thank you," he said solemnly.
"I can never repay what you did
today, what you did to protect
my family. You risked your life
to keep my son safe. If you ever
need anything, just ask, and if it's
mine to give or to do, it is yours."
Shiv blinked. "Uh ... thanks?"
he said. "I mean, it wasn't
much of a risk. I'm muscle.
That's what I'm for."
"Not in this family,"
Graham said. "We
deeply appreciate
the gift, but it's neither
expected nor required."
The freakiest thing about
the Finns was that they
wanted him just for himself,
not for what he could do,
and how crazy was that?
Shiv kinda liked it, though.
He eeled out of Graham's grip
and went to help Elisabeth
pick up the platters and cups.
The kitchen was quiet as they
washed dishes, dried things,
and put them all away.
Shiv could hear the sound
of Graham and Peter talking,
but couldn't make out the words,
not that he was really trying.
The door opened and closed --
Peter heading out, probably.
When Shiv went back into
the living room, with Elisabeth
drifting behind him, Graham
met him with a serious look.
Shiv backpedaled, bumping
into Elisabeth, who caught him.
"Shit, what'd I do now?" Shiv said.
"I'm in trouble again, aren't I?"
"No, you are not in trouble,"
Graham said, shaking his head.
"I have news. Peter and I thought
it would be better for me to tell you,
so he returned to the police station
to deal with paperwork there."
"Okay," Shiv said. He sat down,
tucking his hands under his thighs
so he wouldn't fidget. "Hit me."
"One of the four attackers died at
the hospital," Graham said. "That was
not your fault, Shiv. The head surgeon is
adamant that if the patient had arrived
'in a timely manner' then he'd still be alive.
Peter talked with the supervisor, who is
outraged, and the dispatcher you called
has already been fired from her job."
"Well, good," Shiv snapped. "I mean,
good that she's fired, not good that
the fucker died. Maybe that too,
though. Shit. Fuck. I don't know."
He popped up off the couch
and began pacing the room.
One hand scuffed through
his hair, then smoothed it down.
"Do you need more room to move?"
Graham asked, stepping out of
his way. "Someone to talk with?
Or should I leave you alone?"
Not alone, no, but Shiv
didn't want to admit that.
The words got stuck in
his throat. Frustrated, he
shook his head. He made
another loop around the room,
falling into a pattern among
the pieces of furniture.
The Finns stood quietly
and let him pace, instead
of nagging him to stop it.
Gradually Shiv slowed down,
then brushed past Graham,
the brief contact helping
him begin to settle.
After a few more loops,
Graham lifted a hand and
feathered it over Shiv's back.
Shiv turned on his toe and
leaned into the gentle touch.
He was panting like he'd
run around the block.
"Whatever you need,"
Graham murmured. "I'm
here for you. I know that
this is a difficult situation."
Shiv gave a broken laugh.
"This is so fucked up," he said.
"They weren't supposed to die.
They were just supposed
to stay the fuck down."
"I understand," Graham said.
"You didn't use lethal force, you
just made incapacitating injuries.
You called help as soon as it was
safe to do so. It's not your fault
that someone else fucked up."
Shiv jerked in surprise, looking
up at Graham. "You, um ..."
"I don't usually swear, no,
but Edison is in bed and that is
an apt term for what happened,"
Graham said calmly. "I'm not
a saint, Shiv, and I'm disgusted
by the dispatcher's incompetence.
All the thugs should have lived to see
trial and a very long prison term."
Shiv didn't think the survivors
would appreciate that much.
They looked like hardasses.
"I'll make sure the local system
gets a thorough overhaul so this
doesn't happen again," Elisabeth said.
"I feel like society embarrassed itself
in front of someone who's trying
to do the right thing now."
Shiv twitched his shoulder.
"I guess so," he said. "Better
to fix it now so it doesn't get worse."
"Exactly," she said. "Thank you
for helping us find the flaw."
The dead guy had found it,
really, but all that mattered
was fixing the problem before
someone innocent died of it.
Shiv heaved a sigh. "What
a fucking day," he said.
"Painfully true," Elisabeth said.
"Don't worry about it, though.
I've passed the word, and
other people will keep watch
against any further attacks.
You can relax now."
"I wish," Shiv said,
but Dr. G was warm
and solid, helping him
unwind a little bit.
Then the door opened.
Leo slipped into the house,
lean and neat and Italian.
Shiv had met him before,
but tonight Leo looked
dangerous in a way
that he usually didn't.
Carefully Shiv sidled
in front of Graham.
"Don't worry," Leo said.
"Everything is taken care of.
The kidnappers have been
disposed of and so have
their employers. It was
assured that allies were
together so no suspicion
could fall on them."
Shiv's stomach
dropped. "What --"
"You mean you just
murdered three people
and came here to brag
about it?" Graham said.
"No, of course not," Leo said.
"The matter was handled by
someone else. I was merely
directed to come here and
inform you of the lowered
level of threat to your Family."
"They weren't supposed
to die!" Shiv snapped.
"That's excessive force."
"They were dead
the moment they took
aim at Edison Finn,"
Leo said evenly.
"That is nuts,"
Shiv said, glaring.
He was trying to be,
if not good, at least
not a total nutjob, and
this was what he got.
"That is necessary,"
Leo said. "We cannot
afford to let them get away
with stealing superkids --
any soups, but especially
children. It is bad enough
that some traffickers have
succeeded in secret."
"Okay, I get that it's bad,
but we're not assassins,"
Shiv said. "Guy's gotta
have some standards."
"One of ours is that
slavery is not permitted,"
Leo said. "I was given
to understand that is
a rule in Omaha too."
"Well, yeah," Shiv said.
"Boss White is real serious
about making that stick."
"So you see, if we let it go,
none of our children would be
safe," Leo said. "Furthermore,
it is a slap in the face of the Family,
saying that we cannot protect our own."
Shiv understood that much, all right.
The Ebonies & Ivories might not
sell protection, but he knew how
it was supposed to work -- and
that Boss White wouldn't let
anyone fuck with his people.
If you didn't stick up for each other,
well, he'd seen it in the Hammerheads
and never wanted to see that again.
Shiv was shaking, but he couldn't
stop now. "Why come here?"
he said. "The fewer people
know, the less chance for
anything to leak out."
"I was ordered to explain,"
Leo said. "Some people
needed to know about it.
This is a Family rule."
"What the fuck kind of
rule is that?" Shiv said.
Boss White didn't take
a job away from him and
then rub his nose in it.
"It is better for people
to be told honestly than
to find out about it later,"
Leo said, grimacing. "This
is a lesson that our Family
has learned the hard way."
"Yeah well, I'm not in
your fuckin' Family and I'm
fuckin' glad," Shiv said,
his voice cracking.
Graham reached for him,
and Shiv smacked his hand
away. "Leave me the fuck alone."
"Okay." Graham spread his hands.
"I'll try not to bother you again."
"It was not my intention
to cause pain," Leo said.
Graham turned a gimlet eye
on the man. "The worst pain in
the world goes beyond the physical,"
he said in a cutting tone. "Even further
beyond any other emotional pain one
can feel. It is the betrayal of a friend."
Leo flinched at the sharp words.
Shiv could see Boss Finn flexing
the fingers of her knife hand.
He skittered out of the way,
not wanting to block her.
"I need to use the office,"
she said through her teeth.
"Yes, of course," said Graham.
"I'm sure the privacy field
will be very helpful."
"You," Boss Finn said,
jabbing a finger at Leo.
"Get your ass in there.
I am extremely displeased
with your behavior tonight."
Somebody was gonna get it.
Shiv really wanted to be
somewhere else now.
"Shiv, why don't you go
splash some water on
your face," Graham said.
"It might help you feel better."
"Yeah," Shiv said, his throat
dry and tight. "Good idea."
He bolted for the bathroom.
Inside, Shiv pushed the door
so hard that it bounced, and
he kicked it out of the way.
Splashing water on his face
did not help. Drinking from
the faucet made his throat
feel less like a gravel road,
though, so that was good.
His head buzzed. It had
just been a street fight, and
now four guys were dead.
Shiv liked gang life,
which was dangerous
and could get people killed,
but it wasn't usually like this.
The Mob was fucking scary.
Shiv thumped his back
against the wall, which he
wasn't supposed to do,
but it helped ground him.
Couldn't cut, couldn't
let out the tension that way,
because his hands were
shaking too much.
Everything was
shaky, and he didn't
know what to do.
Shiv slid down the wall,
coming to rest on the floor.
A soft tap on the door,
then Graham asked,
"How are you doing?"
"Fuck off," Shiv choked.
He had to concentrate
on not crying, or he'd
really lose his grip.
"I know you don't want
company right now, but
I'm worried," Graham said.
"Is there anything that --"
"There's nothing you can do!"
Shiv said. "Four guys are dead
because I put 'em on the ground,
and that's not something you can fix."
"I know," Graham said hoarsely.
Well, fuck. Now Shiv had gone
and broken him too. Fuck fuck fuck.
"May I call Tolli and Simon?"
Graham said. "This is outside
my training, but they have
more experience with combat
and coping with ... its aftermath."
Tolli. Simon. They weren't
gangmates, but they would
understand, if anyone could.
Shiv tried to answer, but
his voice wouldn't work.
He nudged the door open
and gave Graham a nod.
"Okay. I'll call them,"
Graham said. "I'll close
the door for you, but please
don't lock it, so they can get in."
Shiv nodded again, and
the door closed quietly.
He put his chin on his knees
and rocked, trying to hold in
the tears, hold himself together.
Tolli and Simon would come. They
would know what to do. They would.
Shiv just had to hang on until they got here.
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its notes appear elsewhere.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-27 11:16 pm (UTC)Leo is in a boatload of trouble it seems.
Yes ...
Date: 2020-10-28 12:08 am (UTC)I think Shiv would've been okay had it been just the one death, but he was unable to cope with more. :(
>> Leo is in a boatload of trouble it seems. <<
No shit. "Their Need for Our Disciplinary Assistance" is written but not sponsored yet. Boss Finn gives him a grilling, and that's just the start of it.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-27 11:26 pm (UTC)Mostly culture clash.
Shiv *chose* to leave them alive. Having that decision overturned by other people is *not* good.
The Family has its reasons for its rules, but in this case they fucked up big time. As Elizabeth is no doubt explaining in *painful* detail.
On a different level, attacking Shiv is very bad for your health. Attacking someone he's *responsible* for.... Like I said, they were alive because he felt killing them was an over-reaction (also, I'd not be surprised if there was an element of wanting them to *hurt* for what they were trying to do).
Yes ...
Date: 2020-10-28 12:23 am (UTC)Sadly so.
>> Mostly culture clash. <<
This is true, and will be addressed in subsequent poems along with stories by
>> Shiv *chose* to leave them alive. Having that decision overturned by other people is *not* good.<<
Hence the messy moral injury.
>> The Family has its reasons for its rules, <<
That is true, and they are valid reasons -- in their own context. It was the chance of context that screwed them. So now it's a solution-caused problem.
>> but in this case they fucked up big time. <<
They really did.
>> As Elizabeth is no doubt explaining in *painful* detail. <<
She's very good at dissection. By the time she's finished, Leo will be wishing that she'd only strapped him. The verbal approach is much, much more painful and can't be soothed with a pint or so of numbing gel.
>> On a different level, attacking Shiv is very bad for your health. <<
No shit.
>> Attacking someone he's *responsible* for.... <<
Survey says: Darwin Award.
Not to mention that even a successful kidnapping of Edison would be Darwin Award territory, because the kid has no brakes yet. A week or two later, some part of China would've been on fire and the bad guys running out with toasters eating their heads or something. O_O
The Marionettes actually know this. They cannot afford to let anyone get away with kidnapping superkids. From a Mob perspective, ruthless retaliation works. China's been burned bad enough to leave the Finns the fuck alone now. But when you mix in people who aren't part of that culture, then it gets a lot more complicated.
>> Like I said, they were alive because he felt killing them was an over-reaction <<
Yep.
>> (also, I'd not be surprised if there was an element of wanting them to *hurt* for what they were trying to do) <<
Nailed it! :D Shiv has sadly extensive experience of what injuries and consequences are like. Broken ribs mean weeks or months of abject misery, depending on severity. Every breath hurts, every cough or sneeze or laugh is worse. Furthermore, had they survived, Shiv would have eventually sidled around to the Finns ...
Shiv: "So, those guys, they'll get therapy in prison, right? Lots and lots of therapy?"
Dr. G: "I imagine so. They certainly need it."
Shiv: "Cause I was thinking, you probably know some guys."
Dr. G: "You're thinking of this as torture, aren't you?"
Shiv: "Mayyybe..."
Dr. G: "Well, let's look at my files. We can figure out which providers will be most useful and least enjoyable to the perpetrators, and then I'll make some calls."
Think about the kind of guys who make a living from kidnapping superkids and such. A relatively quick clean death is much less torment for them, compared to spending decades getting turned inside out by leading experts in criminal psychiatry.
Re: Yes ...
Date: 2020-10-28 03:58 am (UTC)Shiv: but... I'm makin sure they get ALL the therapy the prison offers.
Graham: Yes. With good therapists. This way, if it doesn't work and they break the law again, our consciences are clear and we can leave them to the unpleasant logical consequences.
Re: Yes ...
Date: 2020-10-28 04:30 am (UTC)*chuckle* Now I'm wishing we had some bad guys left to throw in the other grinder. Maybe as the Marionettes do their own investigation after the incident, they might turn up a stray.
Pinocchio: "We have uncovered another ... participant in the incident. I assume you'd like him gift-wrapped and delivered with proof to the doorstep of the police station, instead of a more traditional disposal?"
Boss Finn: "Police station, please. Will the proof be admissible in court?"
Pinocchio: "Some yes, some probably not but it will guide investigators to find their own that will be."
Re: Yes ...
Date: 2020-10-28 04:37 am (UTC)"Excellent news. Oh... and I trust your men will be exceedingly solicitous of the person's physical health and comfort during the trip. Possibly, petrifyingly so."
Elisabeth Finn GRINS.
Re: Yes ...
Date: 2020-10-28 04:41 am (UTC)I am now imagining a combat healer who has chosen that role because their talent has a nettlesome texture that most people complain about in a quiet environment, but usually overlook under fire.
"Stop squirming. I'm supposed to make sure that you are in pristine condition for delivery. The more you wriggle, the longer this will take."
:D
Re: Yes ...
Date: 2020-10-28 04:55 am (UTC)So over the top that it points out exactly how many ways the person could have been damaged in transit, which would have been overlooked as completely incidental.
WELL!
Date: 2020-10-28 02:46 am (UTC)Maybe more than one Somebody.....
Maybe more than ONCE........
I HOPE Tolli and Simon can at least help Shiv over the hump of the first impact....if he'll even let them at this point....which he might or might not do...because OUCH that was rough.
Someone needs to give Graham a BIG FUCKING HUG
For the whole family it HAS BEEN A DAY
Re: WELL!
Date: 2020-10-28 04:32 am (UTC)Maybe more than one Somebody.....
Maybe more than ONCE........ <<
Several somebodies. I start the ball rolling in "Their Need for Our Disciplinary Assistance" (not yet sponsored) and
>> I HOPE Tolli and Simon can at least help Shiv over the hump of the first impact....if he'll even let them at this point....which he might or might not do...because OUCH that was rough. <<
Yes, they'll get through it together. See "To Endure Pain with Patience" (also unsponsored).
>>Someone needs to give Graham a BIG FUCKING HUG<<
Yeah, he needs All The Hugs.
>> For the whole family it HAS BEEN A DAY <<
Painfully true. However, they've got each other, so that helps.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-28 04:57 am (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2020-10-28 05:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-28 06:56 am (UTC)Well ...
Date: 2020-10-28 07:06 am (UTC)As Leo is about to grovel to Boss Finn, it was not his decision.
The reasons for the decision, and which fault belongs to whom, will be exhaustively dissected over another poem of mine and several stories by
Re: Well ...
Date: 2020-10-28 08:21 pm (UTC)but there's also the "WTF Leo" of him somehow forgetting his situational assessment skills....He just friggin BARGED IN two movies and a short chat after the whole thing ENDED and dumped a crock of rotten fish on the floor without bothering to stop and use his EYEBALLS to maybe see that they were already in the middle of DEALING WITH SOME SHIT.....
It would have been a moral IED regardless...but TACT
Re: Well ...
Date: 2020-10-28 08:30 pm (UTC)A majority of the problem is that he didn't think it was rotten fish. He thought he was bringing pizza. The Mobsters thought that removing the threat in the manner they did was appropriate and would be welcome.
Leo was completely blindsided by Boss Finn blowing a gasket over that.
It really is a cross-culture problem. The main thing the Mobsters did wrong by their own rules was not talking to Boss Finn before taking action, and that happened because the decider -- who doesn't know her personally -- didn't realize that the title was more than a joke. It started as a joke, but that joke was already an acknowledgement of who was in charge and how well she got along with gangsters. Now that's cleared up, things should go smoother.
There is a whole poem devoted to Boss Finn explaining to Leo how he fucked up, followed by several stories in which she explains to various other Marionettes how they fucked up, working on preventing future tangles.
Re: Well ...
Date: 2020-10-28 08:54 pm (UTC)just **FACEPALMS**
Re: Well ...
Date: 2020-10-28 09:45 pm (UTC)In the future, they'll make exciting new mistakes instead of repeating the same one again and again. Over time, this leads to greater cultural fluency, better problem-solving skills, and a nicer society for everyone to enjoy.
Re: Well ...
Date: 2020-10-28 11:31 pm (UTC)