Hard Things

[ysabetwordsmith]

Life is full of things which are hard or tedious or otherwise unpleasant that need doing anyhow. They help make the world go 'round, they improve skills, and they boost your sense of self-respect. But doing them still kinda sucks. It's all the more difficult to do those things when nobody appreciates it. Happily, blogging allows us to share our accomplishments and pat each other on the back.

What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do? Is there anything your online friends could do to make your hard things a little easier?

Comments

[technoshaman]

The cognitive dissonance of celebrating my rainbow kaleidoscope of friends and `ohana - queer, witchy/Energetic, coping with personal issues both physical and not, or just generally fabulous in ways the mundane world isn't ready for...

and realizing that every single one of those classes is under personal, lethal threat from multiple seats of government.

And I'm just kinda DONE, y'know? Not as in wanting to check out, but as in putting up with the bovine scatology... sooner or later somebody's going to point me at an idea that's bananapants enough it just might work, and I'm going to do something really, really stupid... and my wife will likely read me the riot act, if I survive...

but dammit, the sons of biscuits are doing stuff that would make Old Scratch turn pale and wan, and we are not a patient RavenBear...

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> and realizing that every single one of those classes is under personal, lethal threat from multiple seats of government. <<

*searching for some part of my identity the government doesn't despise*

*file not found*

>> sooner or later somebody's going to point me at an idea that's bananapants enough it just might work, and I'm going to do something really, really stupid... and my wife will likely read me the riot act, if I survive... <<

Do not be distracted by fancy flourishes, and do not strike at shadows. Instead, strike at your enemy's base.

What is the enemy's base?

To thwart fear, teach courage.

To thwart divisiveness, teach teamwork, cooperation, acceptance, cultural awareness, and heritage languages.

To thwart cruelty, teach compassion.

To thwart rage, team serenity and problem-solving.

To thwart ignorance, teach knowledge, wisdom, rational thought processes, facts and their verification.

To thwart violence, teach peacemaking and nonviolent conflict resolution.

To thwart greed, teach generosity, charity, and the gift economy.

Treat every society action that outrages you as motivation to go do something against them. Don't stand in the street waving a sign, nobody in power cares. Hit them where they live: their profits and their power base.

You will note that these concepts directly undermine the foundations of modern America. Teaching them could get you killed. Some of these things have gotten a lot of people killed.

What you choose to do is up to you.

Hard things

[dialecticdreamer]

I don't even know where to start. It's all tangled up together.

I feel like hell. It hurts to stand and walk, and even taking a deep BREATH hurts in my hips when I'm trying to stand, and I can't even get fully upright any more. Pain pills almost universally knock me completely OUT instead of doing their job, so I end up with inadequate OTC pain management.

Long story deleted. To sum up: I'm running out of steam, and hope, and any ability to cope, and have no other recourse than to tough it out where I am. Which... after the way a housemate has been throwing me under the bus, is increasingly difficult.

I don't know what will happen in the next day, let alone the next month, but it's finally affected my ability to WRITE-- it's after two and I've barely written 500 words all day.

Re: Hard things

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I feel like hell. It hurts to stand and walk, and even taking a deep BREATH hurts in my hips when I'm trying to stand, and I can't even get fully upright any more. Pain pills almost universally knock me completely OUT instead of doing their job, so I end up with inadequate OTC pain management. <<

:( That sucks mightily.

>> Long story deleted. To sum up: I'm running out of steam, and hope, and any ability to cope, and have no other recourse than to tough it out where I am.<<

I am so sorry to hear that.

>> Which... after the way a housemate has been throwing me under the bus, is increasingly difficult. <<

My that "housemate" encounter karma after you are safely out of range.

>>I don't know what will happen in the next day, let alone the next month, but it's finally affected my ability to WRITE-- it's after two and I've barely written 500 words all day.<<

Argh. Not writing is frustrating.

Re: Hard things

[readera]

I'm sorry to hear your body/situation sucks right now. Anything I can do to help?
❤💚💜💙💛💙💜💚❤

Re: Hard things

[we_are_spc]

Oh, dammit, DD, that's...not a good thing.

Her are airhugs, gentle airhugs.

-Trausio~

Re: Hard things

[fyreharper]

:offers (careful) hugs, and hopes that your housemate situation improves:

[purple_crocus]

So true! Got to do the hard mundane unpleasant stuff to make space for the good things! I'm working on clearing out my room.

Good luck!

[ysabetwordsmith]

Room cleaning is tedious, but often has good results.

[bairnsidhe]

I started a new job, only to have a meltdown on the job site.

The bosses were amazing (on my side, the client manager caused the meltdown) and got me moved to a quieter site, with better pay and more manageable hours, but I still feel like I failed. I want so badly to be a productive and useful member of my society, but the stuff I'm good at isn't stuff the current world-model seems to value, and I'm left feeling like I'm not trying hard enough even when I'm doing everything right. I am the fish being judged by my ability to ride a bicycle and it's just hard to cope with.

We also lost my Great Uncle and my friend had his gallbladder removed this week, so my empathy circuits have been way overtaxed.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I started a new job, only to have a meltdown on the job site. <<

That's frustrating.

>> The bosses were amazing (on my side, the client manager caused the meltdown) and got me moved to a quieter site, with better pay and more manageable hours, but I still feel like I failed. <<

Feelings are real and powerful, but sometimes they lie. Did the client manager set you up to fail? Frex, give you 8 hours of work and demand it done in 4, or short you of supplies, or refuse to solve problems preventing you from work? Or did you fail to pay attention to important instructions, screw off playing video games on the job, or cut corners and make mistakes? You are only responsible for things YOU control, not things that are someone else's responsibility or that just happen. Since the managers responded so favorably, I am inclined to suspect that the matter was not a performance failure on your part. This may not make you feel better but is vital to accurately assessing whether this job is a good fit for you.

>> I want so badly to be a productive and useful member of my society, but the stuff I'm good at isn't stuff the current world-model seems to value,<<

I know that feel.

>> and I'm left feeling like I'm not trying hard enough even when I'm doing everything right. I am the fish being judged by my ability to ride a bicycle and it's just hard to cope with.<<

Yeah, that sucks. Try to remember that your worth as a person is not connected to how much other people value what you can do for them. This society absolutely relies on not valuing vast swaths of people. Can you imagine if minimum wage workers and women's unpaid labor had to be fairly compensated? America would go broke. So it maintains the status quo by lying that this work and these people are worthless.

[technoshaman]

You did NOT fail. You chose excellent management, and got the help you needed, and you still have ... not *that* job but a BETTER one. That's some pretty damn awesome bicycle-parkour from where I sit. TOTALLY stuck the landing. The Cascadian judge raises a perfect 6. (Not your damn fault your boss's opposite number was being a butt.)

*gentle hugs* for overtaxed empathy circuits.

[siliconshaman]

*sigh*

Just existing is damn hard some days. The world is simultaneously on fire, melting down, blowing up, sinking and turning into a not-so-fictional dystopian nightmare .. and I'm thinking I should've started building my metaphorical lifeboat about ten years before I did.

I'm trying to get shit done writing-wise, and DIY like... and I'm looking at all the other stuff that's piled up meantime and thinking that there just isn't enough hours in the day. I'm constantly running on a quarter tank of spoons and I getting really sick of waking up just as tired as when I went to sleep.

I tell you... if I could move to Mars or the Moon, I would.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Just existing is damn hard some days.<<

Too true. And that's how you know society is broken -- when it takes maximum effort just to get through an ordinary day.

>>I tell you... if I could move to Mars or the Moon, I would.<<

I know that feel.

*hugs*

[jtthomas]

Resident Advisor training. Very fun, but exhausting. (Certified L-America version of EFAide as of today, Mental Health First Aide!!! Also mediation skills, practical ethics, and other very good skills!)

[technoshaman]

COOL! Where would I get that outside an RA program?

Go you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

That's quite an accomplishment. It sounds like you got a good class.

[readera]

Dealing with fleas invading apt after being on the dog still....

Also this week started training a replacement for my position at work while also handling work going on. Includes frequent interruptions of many kinds.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

O_O

Flea bombs or diatomaceous earth 2 weeks apart should help.

[mama_kestrel]

The current battle is not losing my temper while my mom chatters...and chatters...and chatters. I can tell her I'm working on something. I can tell her I'm figuring out a pattern. I can tell her I'm trying to write. I can tell her, repeatedly, that if she cannot so much as give me a name or web-address, or whether it's quilted or colored paper or some other medium (when she's on her computer), I cannot look up what she's looking at on my computer to see if it can be printed, and that I will come over and look as soon as I finish. I can actually, physically, throw my bead catalog on the floor with as much force as possible to express my frustration, and she never shuts UP. She'll be quiet for about a minute (I've timed it), and then ask if she can ask me now. That's after "I'll be quiet. See how quiet I'm being? I'm being so quiet you barely know I'm here." until I tell her that stopped being funny about 2 years ago.

I put a lot of effort into making sure she's occupied and content. I've dealt with her depressed and it's miserable. But I'm losing what's left of my mind.

[librarygeek]

HUGS. That's a horrible stage. I remember my grandmother at that point. My mom didn't live long enough to get like that. Mom died at 58 years old, 13 years ago.

[we_are_spc]

...

Finances. One of the job prospects I was really looking forward to fell through. So now I'm seriously in the hole, and will be more so before I get paid, and I'm...

Catastrophizing. A lot. I don't have control of my finances-the one thing I felt like I would never lose control of again...and so now I don't feel like I have control of my life, at all. Even if that's not the case.

...

And I can't support my choice-family. I promised them I'd help with finances and I cant, and it's tearing me up inside. None of us are financially stable yet, and I'm supposed to be ma,king their lives better, We all should be-and I'm not. It's not at all happening, and I, want, to, cry. (Oh wait, that's already happened...more than once.)

...

I'm out of options (At least bio-fam wise) for back ups because all of the options are ones I...really don't want to keep relying on.

My choice-family...they're too good to me. They're not letting me starve-they give me my space-they put up with a helluva lot from me, and I really do have it lucky with them, but this...this not being able to give back, and hold my own financially...it just plain sucks.

... There's more to it than that, but that's not something I wish to share here-not yet, anyway.

-Trausio~

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Finances. One of the job prospects I was really looking forward to fell through. So now I'm seriously in the hole, and will be more so before I get paid, and I'm... <<

That sucks. :(

>>Catastrophizing. A lot. I don't have control of my finances-the one thing I felt like I would never lose control of again...and so now I don't feel like I have control of my life, at all. Even if that's not the case.<<

Yeah, it's nerve-wracking when important things are not in control.

>>It's not at all happening, and I, want, to, cry. (Oh wait, that's already happened...more than once.)<<

It's okay to have a good cry when you need one.

>> My choice-family...they're too good to me. They're not letting me starve-they give me my space-they put up with a helluva lot from me, and I really do have it lucky with them, but this...this not being able to give back, and hold my own financially...it just plain sucks.<<

Yes, it sucks that you don't have a job right now. But here's the line between a functional family and a dysfunctional one: A functional family makes life easier. A dysfunctional ones makes life harder. If you're sticking together through hard times, and not taking it out on each other, then you're doing family right. I know, it feels like you're a mooch today, but next year you might have a great job and somebody else doesn't. These things change over time in most families, and that's okay. What matters is that you do what you can to support each other.

Just to pick one example, not at random, you're noticing what makes the toddler's life difficult, and watching for things that might make him more comfortable, which would make everyone happier. So you're doing what you can, and you deserve to have people who love and support you.

*yawn* *flop*

[(Anonymous)]

putting in applications to other jobs

Scheduling interviews with other places while managing being one of 4 support staff left in the office

collecting reference letters and people willing to be contacted for reference

wrangling all of the loose ends that the 6 other people who have already left dumped on me and the next one gearing up to flee the burning ship. Getting procedures written, supplies documented and listed, work areas cleaned and organized, reference materials updated, face sheets, tips and tricks, guides for processes, and anything else useful that we can muster together done before we run like our tails are on fire.

Dealing with the training and additional workload necessary for us to take over the work of the 6 who left before, well knowing we are going to be running out right after them.


All without tipping off management and trying to work up the courage to tell those we are scrambling to support that it's about to get worse.

Re: *yawn* *flop*

[readera]

Thats lots of hard hard work. ❤❤❤ dont forget to include that in your resume somewhere

[alatefeline]

I have a job application to do by tomorrow night; I struggle so with these...

And it's already back to school time...

Also I need to fix my phone...

[technoshaman]

Empathy. Job hunting sucks, always.

So do cranky phones and too-short summers.

[fyreharper]

Spent most of the past week taking care of my very-deteriorating cat so he could be alive and as okay as possibly until roomie could get home to say goodbye.
Put cat to sleep this morning. Still have to clear out so much cat stuff from everywhere in the house/figure out what to do with it all.

Hugs pls

Alas!

[ysabetwordsmith]

My sympathies.

>> Still have to clear out so much cat stuff from everywhere in the house/figure out what to do with it all. <<

Do you have a local shelter? They often need supplies and welcome donations.

>> Hugs pls <<

*hugs*