>> Finances. One of the job prospects I was really looking forward to fell through. So now I'm seriously in the hole, and will be more so before I get paid, and I'm... <<
That sucks. :(
>>Catastrophizing. A lot. I don't have control of my finances-the one thing I felt like I would never lose control of again...and so now I don't feel like I have control of my life, at all. Even if that's not the case.<<
Yeah, it's nerve-wracking when important things are not in control.
>>It's not at all happening, and I, want, to, cry. (Oh wait, that's already happened...more than once.)<<
It's okay to have a good cry when you need one.
>> My choice-family...they're too good to me. They're not letting me starve-they give me my space-they put up with a helluva lot from me, and I really do have it lucky with them, but this...this not being able to give back, and hold my own financially...it just plain sucks.<<
Yes, it sucks that you don't have a job right now. But here's the line between a functional family and a dysfunctional one: A functional family makes life easier. A dysfunctional ones makes life harder. If you're sticking together through hard times, and not taking it out on each other, then you're doing family right. I know, it feels like you're a mooch today, but next year you might have a great job and somebody else doesn't. These things change over time in most families, and that's okay. What matters is that you do what you can to support each other.
Just to pick one example, not at random, you're noticing what makes the toddler's life difficult, and watching for things that might make him more comfortable, which would make everyone happier. So you're doing what you can, and you deserve to have people who love and support you.
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dancing_serpent
Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 03:42 am (UTC)That sucks. :(
>>Catastrophizing. A lot. I don't have control of my finances-the one thing I felt like I would never lose control of again...and so now I don't feel like I have control of my life, at all. Even if that's not the case.<<
Yeah, it's nerve-wracking when important things are not in control.
>>It's not at all happening, and I, want, to, cry. (Oh wait, that's already happened...more than once.)<<
It's okay to have a good cry when you need one.
>> My choice-family...they're too good to me. They're not letting me starve-they give me my space-they put up with a helluva lot from me, and I really do have it lucky with them, but this...this not being able to give back, and hold my own financially...it just plain sucks.<<
Yes, it sucks that you don't have a job right now. But here's the line between a functional family and a dysfunctional one: A functional family makes life easier. A dysfunctional ones makes life harder. If you're sticking together through hard times, and not taking it out on each other, then you're doing family right. I know, it feels like you're a mooch today, but next year you might have a great job and somebody else doesn't. These things change over time in most families, and that's okay. What matters is that you do what you can to support each other.
Just to pick one example, not at random, you're noticing what makes the toddler's life difficult, and watching for things that might make him more comfortable, which would make everyone happier. So you're doing what you can, and you deserve to have people who love and support you.