Hard Things
Aug. 21st, 2019 03:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithLife is full of things which are hard or tedious or otherwise unpleasant that need doing anyhow. They help make the world go 'round, they improve skills, and they boost your sense of self-respect. But doing them still kinda sucks. It's all the more difficult to do those things when nobody appreciates it. Happily, blogging allows us to share our accomplishments and pat each other on the back.
What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do? Is there anything your online friends could do to make your hard things a little easier?
What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do? Is there anything your online friends could do to make your hard things a little easier?
(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-21 08:47 pm (UTC)and realizing that every single one of those classes is under personal, lethal threat from multiple seats of government.
And I'm just kinda DONE, y'know? Not as in wanting to check out, but as in putting up with the bovine scatology... sooner or later somebody's going to point me at an idea that's bananapants enough it just might work, and I'm going to do something really, really stupid... and my wife will likely read me the riot act, if I survive...
but dammit, the sons of biscuits are doing stuff that would make Old Scratch turn pale and wan, and we are not a patient RavenBear...
Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-21 09:47 pm (UTC)*searching for some part of my identity the government doesn't despise*
*file not found*
>> sooner or later somebody's going to point me at an idea that's bananapants enough it just might work, and I'm going to do something really, really stupid... and my wife will likely read me the riot act, if I survive... <<
Do not be distracted by fancy flourishes, and do not strike at shadows. Instead, strike at your enemy's base.
What is the enemy's base?
To thwart fear, teach courage.
To thwart divisiveness, teach teamwork, cooperation, acceptance, cultural awareness, and heritage languages.
To thwart cruelty, teach compassion.
To thwart rage, team serenity and problem-solving.
To thwart ignorance, teach knowledge, wisdom, rational thought processes, facts and their verification.
To thwart violence, teach peacemaking and nonviolent conflict resolution.
To thwart greed, teach generosity, charity, and the gift economy.
Treat every society action that outrages you as motivation to go do something against them. Don't stand in the street waving a sign, nobody in power cares. Hit them where they live: their profits and their power base.
You will note that these concepts directly undermine the foundations of modern America. Teaching them could get you killed. Some of these things have gotten a lot of people killed.
What you choose to do is up to you.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-21 11:22 pm (UTC)"I am loyal to the inconveniences of kindness." ;-)
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 12:46 am (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 01:33 am (UTC)https://librarygeek.dreamwidth.org/25009.html
Hard things
Date: 2019-08-21 09:02 pm (UTC)I feel like hell. It hurts to stand and walk, and even taking a deep BREATH hurts in my hips when I'm trying to stand, and I can't even get fully upright any more. Pain pills almost universally knock me completely OUT instead of doing their job, so I end up with inadequate OTC pain management.
Long story deleted. To sum up: I'm running out of steam, and hope, and any ability to cope, and have no other recourse than to tough it out where I am. Which... after the way a housemate has been throwing me under the bus, is increasingly difficult.
I don't know what will happen in the next day, let alone the next month, but it's finally affected my ability to WRITE-- it's after two and I've barely written 500 words all day.
Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-21 09:29 pm (UTC):( That sucks mightily.
>> Long story deleted. To sum up: I'm running out of steam, and hope, and any ability to cope, and have no other recourse than to tough it out where I am.<<
I am so sorry to hear that.
>> Which... after the way a housemate has been throwing me under the bus, is increasingly difficult. <<
My that "housemate" encounter karma after you are safely out of range.
>>I don't know what will happen in the next day, let alone the next month, but it's finally affected my ability to WRITE-- it's after two and I've barely written 500 words all day.<<
Argh. Not writing is frustrating.
Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-21 11:31 pm (UTC)❤💚💜💙💛💙💜💚❤
Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-21 11:40 pm (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-21 11:45 pm (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-21 11:50 pm (UTC)Don't worry about it. I've learned enough to actually speak up, which is massive progress.
Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-21 11:59 pm (UTC)You know... there really needs to be a Kneecappers, Leg Breakers and Assassins guild you can submit such lists to. Jus' sayin'. We could probably crowd-fund the fees for 'taking care of' certain political figures... heck, some they might offer a discount on.
Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 12:04 am (UTC)And their dues are MUCH higher.
But the KLBA... they'll take SOME jobs for literal lunch money. *G*
Re: Who's lawyers?
Date: 2019-08-22 12:08 am (UTC)Re: Who's lawyers?
Date: 2019-08-22 01:14 am (UTC)Re: Who's lawyers?
Date: 2019-08-22 01:18 am (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 01:13 am (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 01:32 am (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 01:12 am (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 01:25 am (UTC)Re: Who's lawyers?
Date: 2019-08-22 01:30 am (UTC)Still... it would be tempting to go into the 'garbage disposal' business...
Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 12:49 am (UTC)You are not alone. This is why I take such glee in flinging Shiv's abusers under the bus.
>> Don't worry about it.<<
That ... is not happening. Life is stomping you, people are STILL being shitty to you, you are my friend, and I worry.
>> I've learned enough to actually speak up, which is massive progress.<<
This is good news.
Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 12:47 am (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 12:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-22 01:11 am (UTC)Ok, gonna save that.. [and it took me three tries to write I was giggling so hard!]
Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 01:37 am (UTC)Thanks!
Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 01:28 pm (UTC)Anything else I can help out with from afar?
Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 04:13 pm (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 05:07 pm (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 02:33 am (UTC)Her are airhugs, gentle airhugs.
-Trausio~
Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 02:37 am (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-22 07:42 am (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-23 07:04 am (UTC)Re: Hard things
Date: 2019-08-23 06:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-21 09:07 pm (UTC)Good luck!
Date: 2019-08-21 10:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-21 09:22 pm (UTC)The bosses were amazing (on my side, the client manager caused the meltdown) and got me moved to a quieter site, with better pay and more manageable hours, but I still feel like I failed. I want so badly to be a productive and useful member of my society, but the stuff I'm good at isn't stuff the current world-model seems to value, and I'm left feeling like I'm not trying hard enough even when I'm doing everything right. I am the fish being judged by my ability to ride a bicycle and it's just hard to cope with.
We also lost my Great Uncle and my friend had his gallbladder removed this week, so my empathy circuits have been way overtaxed.
Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-21 09:35 pm (UTC)That's frustrating.
>> The bosses were amazing (on my side, the client manager caused the meltdown) and got me moved to a quieter site, with better pay and more manageable hours, but I still feel like I failed. <<
Feelings are real and powerful, but sometimes they lie. Did the client manager set you up to fail? Frex, give you 8 hours of work and demand it done in 4, or short you of supplies, or refuse to solve problems preventing you from work? Or did you fail to pay attention to important instructions, screw off playing video games on the job, or cut corners and make mistakes? You are only responsible for things YOU control, not things that are someone else's responsibility or that just happen. Since the managers responded so favorably, I am inclined to suspect that the matter was not a performance failure on your part. This may not make you feel better but is vital to accurately assessing whether this job is a good fit for you.
>> I want so badly to be a productive and useful member of my society, but the stuff I'm good at isn't stuff the current world-model seems to value,<<
I know that feel.
>> and I'm left feeling like I'm not trying hard enough even when I'm doing everything right. I am the fish being judged by my ability to ride a bicycle and it's just hard to cope with.<<
Yeah, that sucks. Try to remember that your worth as a person is not connected to how much other people value what you can do for them. This society absolutely relies on not valuing vast swaths of people. Can you imagine if minimum wage workers and women's unpaid labor had to be fairly compensated? America would go broke. So it maintains the status quo by lying that this work and these people are worthless.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-21 10:04 pm (UTC)Who would be affected? A bunch of C-level gold-hoarders that already don't pay any taxes. Trickle-down economics is not just a Ponzi scheme, it's a lie that there even is a scheme to be Ponzi'ed.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-21 10:06 pm (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-21 11:29 pm (UTC)This is why I suggest a system of subsidized needs and privatized wants. Everyone should either be able to afford the basics, or have free choice of basics; and beyond that, if they want to work extra and pay more for luxuries, go for it. That means the basics must be decent quality, not crap.
I've seen the viciously shitty service that passed for government-paid health care here. Even the paid versions are often dangerously inadequate, enough to kill people waiting for someone to get around to fixing problems that used to get fixed the same day. So it makes me very dubious of the government's ability and willingness to care for its people. Nonprofit services, on the other hand, are often excellent and routinely outperform both government and capitalist competitors.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-21 11:15 pm (UTC)A living wage alone wouldn't break the economy, but would create substantial changes. One problem is the way people do it -- they let it go for years, then make a big increase, then complain about price bounces, which do happen. The way to fix that is to chain the minimum wage to inflation, so it rises gradually with minimal bounce. You also need to recalculate regularly -- at least every 10 years, and 5 is better -- what constitutes the minimum for a decent living based on survival needs plus expenses society demands (e.g. a fixed residence, food, health care, internet).
However, I also added in unpaid labor. That is a massive, world-shaking amount.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/this-is-how-much-more-unpaid-work-women-do-than-men-2017-03-07
http://www.ipsnews.net/2019/01/womens-unpaid-work-time-take-concrete-action/
https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2015/08/household-labor-caring-labor-unpaid-labor.html
If we paid for all of that, it would break the current system. In my opinion, this is not a bad thing; the status quo sucks and needs to be replaced by something less evil. But most people prefer to keep it as it is, and will kill anyone who threatens it too seriously.
This is, by the way, a reason I support Universal Basic Income: to pay people for the work they are currently being forced to do for free, or punished if they refuse. It would make a different and healthier society.
That's also why capitalists abhor it. They need the threat of unemployment and starvation to force workers to endure abusive labor practices.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 01:21 am (UTC)Including UBI, yes. That would choke off the slavers' labour sources, and force in decent management.
That's why they want to kill us. Tough noogies, scheisskopfen. We're comin' for you.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 02:48 am (UTC)A problem with this approach: the $15 minimum was calculated years ago, around 2012, as the then-current wage required to keep someone above the poverty line. That line creeps upward every year. This means that a gradual introduction needs to include a gradual raise of the target. Otherwise you necessarily fall short.
Let us consider, as a reasonable standard of living, that most persons wish to obtain a companion with whom to live; and that a majority of said partnerships wish to procreate; and that as more people work from home, space for a home office becomes a common and compelling need even for single people. This requires a minimum of 2 bedrooms. Here is what it costs per state to afford such housing at the recommended responsible rate of 30% of income spent on housing. On average, an American household needs to earn at least $21.21 per hour to afford a modest, two-bedroom apartment without spending more than 30 percent of their income on rent. Only at the lowest end ($14.49 per hour in West Virginia) would $15/hour suffice to meet even basic housing needs. On the high end ($35.20 in Hawaii) you would need more than twice the proposed living wage just to get by. The comparison to actual minimum wages is even more brutal.
>>That's why they want to kill us. Tough noogies, scheisskopfen. We're comin' for you.<<
An interesting point of history: over the long run, the fatcats ALWAYS lose. They can only win a battle, not the war. This is simple math: in order for some people to have more than others, the rich must be few and the poor must be many. It doesn't matter if your castle can repel 10:1 odds. The moment 11:1 people hate you, then you die. They will build a ladder of bodies to reach you so they can kill you.
Judging from things I've seen in the news, we're not all that far from that point now. Most people don't see it. But any historian can spot the pattern easily.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 01:42 am (UTC)I wish I could find the actual articles, but someone calculated what it would cost Wal Mart, the 900-lb. gorilla, to pay $15 an hour minimum wage, PLUS proportional steps among the senior clerks and store management.
Take a wild, wild guess what the cost increase of each item in the average store would be. I dare you.
One.
Penny.
Per.
Item.
From milk to tires to a tube of diaper rash cream.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 07:10 pm (UTC)A two person job with one person on it, but same issue. I couldn't do both things I needed to and he yelled at me when I prioritized differently than he wanted me to.
>>America would go broke.<<
Somehow that seems like a proper and natural consequence and I'm not perturbed by the idea, just by the fact that we let it get that bad.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 08:30 pm (UTC)Then it is in no way your fault and you did not fail, you were set up by an asshole.
>> and he yelled at me when I prioritized differently than he wanted me to. <<
Or he simply manufactured a situation where he was guaranteed a chance to yell about whatever you did, because he made it impossible to do everything. Abusers do that.
Imagine a foghorn, but instead of mooing, it goes "AAAASSS ... HOOOOLLE ... AAAASSS ... HOOOOLLE." That's the sound of the asshole alarm.
For comparison, the bullshit alarm goes "AAAAOOOOGAH."
>>Somehow that seems like a proper and natural consequence and I'm not perturbed by the idea, just by the fact that we let it get that bad.<<
Yep.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-21 09:58 pm (UTC)*gentle hugs* for overtaxed empathy circuits.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-21 11:56 pm (UTC)Just existing is damn hard some days. The world is simultaneously on fire, melting down, blowing up, sinking and turning into a not-so-fictional dystopian nightmare .. and I'm thinking I should've started building my metaphorical lifeboat about ten years before I did.
I'm trying to get shit done writing-wise, and DIY like... and I'm looking at all the other stuff that's piled up meantime and thinking that there just isn't enough hours in the day. I'm constantly running on a quarter tank of spoons and I getting really sick of waking up just as tired as when I went to sleep.
I tell you... if I could move to Mars or the Moon, I would.
Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 12:44 am (UTC)Too true. And that's how you know society is broken -- when it takes maximum effort just to get through an ordinary day.
>>I tell you... if I could move to Mars or the Moon, I would.<<
I know that feel.
*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-22 12:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-22 01:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-22 01:53 am (UTC)...yup, just looked it up, mentalhealthfirstaid.org . Gives a list of dates for trainings in many cities. Slight emphasis on /crises/, but first step is “assess for risk of harm” which can really be modified to any situation. Highly recommended, especially as they have a separate course on how to support youth in specific.
Thank you!
Date: 2019-08-22 02:49 am (UTC)Re: Thank you!
Date: 2019-08-22 02:59 am (UTC)Assess for risk of harm to self or others, listen nonjudgmentally, offer support, and /only then/ ask if there is anything people-wise that helps (professional or friends). And not necessarily in that order, depending on the individual—if lower rungs dissolve, rebuild them before moving on.
Emphasis is fully on offering the kind of help that actually works for the individual; if it’s a known panic attack issue, companionable silence and an offer of water are often better than prying specifics out of somebody who is actively panicking. First time my own experience on the matter was ever in a class as a reasonable option.
Go you!
Date: 2019-08-22 01:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-22 12:21 am (UTC)Also this week started training a replacement for my position at work while also handling work going on. Includes frequent interruptions of many kinds.
Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 12:45 am (UTC)Flea bombs or diatomaceous earth 2 weeks apart should help.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-23 12:37 am (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-23 12:38 am (UTC)However, vacuuming, shampooing the carpet, washing sheets, etc. does remove a lot of eggs.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-22 12:52 am (UTC)I put a lot of effort into making sure she's occupied and content. I've dealt with her depressed and it's miserable. But I'm losing what's left of my mind.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-22 01:04 am (UTC)Well ...
Date: 2019-08-22 02:06 am (UTC)Here's the thing: if that is the case, she cannot stop. There is no point asking. You might as well expect someone who lost their legs to walk. The thing to do it with is not there. So if a solution is needed, something else will have to be found.
What happens if you ignore her? If nothing bad: Consider turning off the phone, using earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones, playing music, or going somewhere you cannot be reached and bothered.
Consider your own safety too. Nobody can endure being pecked at all the time. It will run down your health. This is why caregivers get sick so much. They no longer have the energy to sustain an immune system. You need some amount of peace and quiet in order to survive.
Re: Well ...
Date: 2019-08-22 06:47 pm (UTC)If I ignore her, she blows it out of all proportion into "Alisa doesn't love me anymore" (untrue) or "I'm a burden and nobody wants me around" (self-fulfilling prophesy). And again - lifelong pattern, nothing new. But this isn't just my perception; even her best friend has called her out on it.
I don't expect her to change. Not now, not with dementia added to the mix. I don't expect respect for my privacy. But I do expect her to take "I need 5 minutes", and when she wants to pay attention, she can do it.
Turning off the phone - she lives with me. She's 10 feet away. Noise cancelling headphones - same as ignoring her. Going into another room - sort of works.
That's why it's so hard. There are solutions, but none good. None that meet both her needs and mine. And that's one of the ways I consider our current society most broken - that each individual or nuclear family carries this by themselves, with no formal support available. I have spent my entire adult life both taking care of my parents and keeping my life separate, and now I have to have her living with me because there are no other affordable options. Medicare pays $700.00 a month for institutional memory care. Actual cost is more than 10 times that.
I am aware of the statistic: 70% of caregivers predecease the one they care for. Most of them are spouses. But I understand how much it wears one down, a day at a time. What I hope for is that I last longer than she does, and that by the time this is done, I have enough left to enjoy my own life.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-22 01:52 am (UTC)Finances. One of the job prospects I was really looking forward to fell through. So now I'm seriously in the hole, and will be more so before I get paid, and I'm...
Catastrophizing. A lot. I don't have control of my finances-the one thing I felt like I would never lose control of again...and so now I don't feel like I have control of my life, at all. Even if that's not the case.
...
And I can't support my choice-family. I promised them I'd help with finances and I cant, and it's tearing me up inside. None of us are financially stable yet, and I'm supposed to be ma,king their lives better, We all should be-and I'm not. It's not at all happening, and I, want, to, cry. (Oh wait, that's already happened...more than once.)
...
I'm out of options (At least bio-fam wise) for back ups because all of the options are ones I...really don't want to keep relying on.
My choice-family...they're too good to me. They're not letting me starve-they give me my space-they put up with a helluva lot from me, and I really do have it lucky with them, but this...this not being able to give back, and hold my own financially...it just plain sucks.
... There's more to it than that, but that's not something I wish to share here-not yet, anyway.
-Trausio~
Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 03:42 am (UTC)That sucks. :(
>>Catastrophizing. A lot. I don't have control of my finances-the one thing I felt like I would never lose control of again...and so now I don't feel like I have control of my life, at all. Even if that's not the case.<<
Yeah, it's nerve-wracking when important things are not in control.
>>It's not at all happening, and I, want, to, cry. (Oh wait, that's already happened...more than once.)<<
It's okay to have a good cry when you need one.
>> My choice-family...they're too good to me. They're not letting me starve-they give me my space-they put up with a helluva lot from me, and I really do have it lucky with them, but this...this not being able to give back, and hold my own financially...it just plain sucks.<<
Yes, it sucks that you don't have a job right now. But here's the line between a functional family and a dysfunctional one: A functional family makes life easier. A dysfunctional ones makes life harder. If you're sticking together through hard times, and not taking it out on each other, then you're doing family right. I know, it feels like you're a mooch today, but next year you might have a great job and somebody else doesn't. These things change over time in most families, and that's okay. What matters is that you do what you can to support each other.
Just to pick one example, not at random, you're noticing what makes the toddler's life difficult, and watching for things that might make him more comfortable, which would make everyone happier. So you're doing what you can, and you deserve to have people who love and support you.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 01:24 pm (UTC)Especially when the nerve-wracking thing is a situation that had you in a damn scary place before. Like really damn scary.
It's okay to have a good cry when you need one.
Yeah, I'm figuring that out-I think it's one of the reasons I'm still sort of OK right now.
I do feel like a mooch. There's no real jobs for massage therapists in Lake County Ohio, despite what my room mate says. (That there are plenty, you just need to use more than one site to find them. Meanwhile my current employer, plus the one who turned me down, *and* my job coach tell different stories-and all the same one: there aren't any.)...I'm no where near close to being out of the hole-and in three days I'll be even further in. if I don't figure out something soon, I'll have nothing left of the benefits come the third because it'll all have been eaten up by bills+insufficient funds fees. ... and there it starts again.
...
It's September. I've even let go of the prospect of OVFF, which was heartwrenching because dammit, because I won't have the funds for it.
That said-you're not wrong about the above example, so thank you. It's really hard to see the positives right now, and it's really hard to think, too, so thanks again.
-Trausio~
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 01:51 pm (UTC)Setting aside time for yourself and the things you enjoy is an important part of keeping your spirit from getting crushed during the hard times. Looking for a way to give you a chance for that.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 02:37 pm (UTC)3. maybe four to be safe, especially if I could find a room share. I calculated out $150, because I figured I might be able to tag E. Wilson for a ride up+maybe a room share again, and I know the badge is fifty-so that would give me about fifty left for food+a tiny bet of pocket change. AAlso, now that I'm licensed here in Ohio, i don't have to be quiet about it, so that's a bonus there. Hint: send anyone in the mentor/lake county you know my way. xd
I <3 you Moonmoth.
I also haven't taken down the gofundme, even though I thought about it, because I've been here for about 8 months now, and things are...not the way it says when I first got here. ... I only have one regular client, and the rare couples massage as income, and it's not near enough, especially if I want to have a little fun with a friend (or friends) of mine.
-Trausio~
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 04:03 pm (UTC)I'll start spreading the word. I hope to get enough pledges to fund your trip early enough so you can start planning for it.
>> I <3 you Moonmoth <<
Awwwwww. I'm just doing what friends do for one another. And I see someone who's too busy thinking about how to get through the next day to be able to think further out than that. That's something I can help with, so I do.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 04:23 pm (UTC)I can do anything from 15 minuts on up on the table-DFive or 10 would have to be in a chair of some sort, whether regular or not.
Yes, and you remind me a bit of my chosen-family that way. I've been going to oVFF for a bit now-and I'd rather not stop, y'know?
-Trausio~
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 05:12 pm (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 05:34 pm (UTC)Thank you again. :)
-Trausio~
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 07:37 pm (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 07:40 pm (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2019-08-22 07:29 pm (UTC)Now that, I have some experience with, in an oblique way. Everyone says that there is no money in poetry. That is generally true in modern America. But I remember when we used to sit at the side of kings. There wasn't a market ... so I made one.
Look around you. America is batshit. People are miserable. They don't touch each other much, and primates NEED healthy touch to survive. You are selling a survival need, don't let anyone tell you there is no market for it. There may not already be a job market for it, but that's not the same thing.
If you just want to make money rubbing people the right way, figure out how to reach the people who are hurting in a way they can afford. That might be 10-minute sessions in the park. It might be seasonal specials. Be creative about connecting other people's needs to your wallet.
If you want to be hired by someone, look for folks in charge of clusters of sore unhappy people -- doctors, therapists, exercise gyms, etc. Just because they aren't advertising doesn't mean you couldn't talk them into it. How good are you by now? If you're good enough, free bodywork makes a great interview technique ... especially if you do one side of the body and then stop. The comparison is dramatic.
If none of those appeal, then you have two other options, which probably have higher personal costs:
1) Stay where you are, abandon massage as a career, and search for other work.
2) Move somewhere else that has the kind of massage job market you want.
The least optimum path is to keep doing what you've been doing that has not given you good results.
>> It's September. I've even let go of the prospect of OVFF, which was heartwrenching because dammit, because I won't have the funds for it.<<
Ouch.
>>That said-you're not wrong about the above example, so thank you. It's really hard to see the positives right now, and it's really hard to think, too, so thanks again.<<
Emotions can really hijack your brain, especially in situations of survival threat, which includes money in this fucked up frogskin society.
I found a text list of common cognitive distortions. These are things to watch out for in your thinking. Sometimes you can use logic to leverage your emotions enough to create a little breathing room. Here are some methods that might help. Frex, when you have a hard time finding the ways that you contribute to the household, make a list. Did you bring in the mail, wipe the table, sit the baby? Every thing you do is a thing your also-exhausted, also-broke housemates did NOT have to do. Think about how good it feels when you realize that someone already did a thing so now you don't have to. Try to measure your contributions by that. For a tactile version, consider finding small objects that represent what you do -- small enough to hold several in your hand at a time. Pile these in a bowl or a jar as you accomplish things. Then when you feel useless, pour them out and touch them as a reminder of what you've done.
Like any other heavy lifting, this is hard and it sucks. However, people who do it routinely say that it tends to get easier over time. Thoughts and feelings, like muscles, can adapt to demands. If you work on self-appreciation and logic, they should get stronger.
*yawn* *flop*
Date: 2019-08-22 02:12 am (UTC)Scheduling interviews with other places while managing being one of 4 support staff left in the office
collecting reference letters and people willing to be contacted for reference
wrangling all of the loose ends that the 6 other people who have already left dumped on me and the next one gearing up to flee the burning ship. Getting procedures written, supplies documented and listed, work areas cleaned and organized, reference materials updated, face sheets, tips and tricks, guides for processes, and anything else useful that we can muster together done before we run like our tails are on fire.
Dealing with the training and additional workload necessary for us to take over the work of the 6 who left before, well knowing we are going to be running out right after them.
All without tipping off management and trying to work up the courage to tell those we are scrambling to support that it's about to get worse.
Re: *yawn* *flop*
Date: 2019-08-23 01:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-22 06:04 am (UTC)And it's already back to school time...
Also I need to fix my phone...
(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-22 06:21 am (UTC)So do cranky phones and too-short summers.
Good luck!
Date: 2019-08-22 07:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2019-08-23 06:58 am (UTC)Put cat to sleep this morning. Still have to clear out so much cat stuff from everywhere in the house/figure out what to do with it all.
Hugs pls
Alas!
Date: 2019-08-23 08:21 am (UTC)>> Still have to clear out so much cat stuff from everywhere in the house/figure out what to do with it all. <<
Do you have a local shelter? They often need supplies and welcome donations.
>> Hugs pls <<
*hugs*