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This story is a sequel to "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," and "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," and "Birthday Girl."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Hulk, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS, Bucky Barnes, Nick Fury.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Mind control. Inferences of past child abuse and other torture. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: A mission in Russia introduces the Avengers to the Winter Soldier. Steve wants Bucky back and will stop at nothing to make that happen. Everyone else helps however they can.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Sibling relationships. Fix-it. Teamwork. Canon-typical violence. BAMF!Avengers. Bucky!whump. Vulgar language. Drama. Rescue. Hurt/Comfort. Emotional whump. Survivor guilt. Friendship. Confusion. Mind control. Memory loss. Slow recovery. Nick Fury makes stupid-ass decisions. Fear of loss. Arc reactor. Fluff. Nonsexual ageplay. Making up for lost time. Tony Stark has a heart. Games. Trust issues. Safety and security. Howard Stark's A+ parenting. Obadiah Stane's A+ parenting. Food issues. Multiplicity/Plurality. Sleep issues. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Yoga. Personal growth. Family of choice. ALL THE FEELS. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35. Skip to Part 38, Part 39, Part 40, Part 41.
"No Winter Lasts Forever" Part 36
"Bucky, we have a three-day limit on going without sleep, outside of emergencies. It's a house rule," Phil said. They'd actually set that one because of Tony, whose traumatic history and lack of circadian rhythm sometimes led to the kind of insomniac engineering that ended with laboratory fires. "You're into your fourth day awake. We've given you all the time we safely can and then a little extra. Work with me here. We need to find a way of getting you some sleep that won't break you."
"I know, I know," Bucky said. He shook his head as if trying to clear water from his ears. "I just -- can't. Every time I try to think about options, I keep flashing back on the damn cryochamber. And now you're all staring at me and that is not helping."
"Okay, that at least I can fix," Bruce said gently. He stood up and held out a hand. "Come on, let's sit in the kitchen for a while, just you and me. Maybe we can think of something else. I'm tired too. I have trouble sleeping some nights but the Other Guy isn't very fond of ordinary sleep aids, so I have to get more creative. Maybe one of the things I do for myself would work for you."
Bucky looked at him with bleary eyes and then took his hand. "Fine."
Bruce pulled Bucky effortlessly to his feet, saying, "Up you go."
"You're stronger than you look," Bucky said as they headed for the kitchen.
"Yeah, I get that a lot," Bruce replied. Phil noted that he kept a hand discreetly near Bucky in case of stumbles.
Steve slumped forward and buried his face in his hands. "I hate this," he said.
"So do I," Phil said, laying a hand on his shoulder. Steve leaned into the touch.
"We all do," Natasha said, "but if we pressure Bucky now, we might lose all chance of getting him into anything approaching normal sleep. He's got enough fodder for insomnia and nightmares without adding to that."
"I really hope Bruce can pull a rabbit out of his hat this time," Steve said.
"Trust him," Phil said. "He knows what he's doing. Now that Bucky's tired enough to listen instead of arguing, they should manage to figure something out."
"It's only been a few days, but I'm worn out too. I feel like I haven't slept in a week," Steve said.
"You can tap out if you need to, Steve. Would you like to go to bed? We'll look after Bucky," Phil offered, though honestly he felt the same way. It seemed like such a very long time. He had done things like this before, though, had experience that Steve didn't. Phil had lost assets to traumatic brain injury, and just once, gotten somebody partway past it. He'd sat up with Clint and Natasha through their first restless nights at SHIELD. Phil could cope.
Steve shook his head. "No, I need to see this through."
"All right, then," Phil said. Steve would learn about the importance of teamwork in taking care of someone; pushing him wouldn't help. Meanwhile Phil kept an eye on the door but did not access the security feed from the kitchen. Bucky needed a little privacy, and besides, JARVIS would sound an alert if anything bad happened. The minutes crawled by like five-legged ants.
"It's been an hour," Steve said eventually. "Could we at least ... check on them?"
"I'll come with you," Phil said, and led the way to the kitchen. What he saw made him stop still in the doorway, and Steve ran into him, knocking him over the threshold.
"Whoops, sorry ... what?" Steve stammered.
Bucky was asleep on the table, raspy snores spilling from his open mouth. Bruce sprawled over the other side of the table, one hand still curled around a thick tougher-than-ceramic coffee cup. He had his head pillowed on his arm, drooling on his sleeve. Between them, Natasha's antique silver samovar steamed gently alongside an empty jar of triple-citrus marmalade. The steam smelled of fresh-mown hay with a faint metallic note underneath.
Bruce roused at their approach. He blinked at them in slow motion. "Mission ... 'complished," he said with a lazy grin, tipping a thumb toward the slumbering soldier.
"What did you do to him?" Steve demanded as he pushed his way into the kitchen and hurried to Bucky's side.
"You hit him with the nightstick?" Natasha said in a scandalized tone, coming up behind Phil. Tony and Clint followed her, and then Betty.
"Night ... cap," Bruce enunciated meticulously. "Was just gonna make one cup each, but ... his appetite's bigger ... an' he wanted me to match'im."
Phil picked up the canister of loose-leaf tea labeled with Bruce's distinctive scrawl. The first several ingredients were in English -- chamomile, catnip, lemon balm, skullcap, passion flower, hops, lavender, licorice, cocoa, and valerian -- followed by a few more lines in Latin, Portuguese, and what looked like Hindi. A bright green teddy bear in a whimsical purple nightcap had been drawn on the label with markers.
"Bruce, do you realize that Bucky may never forgive you for this?" Phil asked.
"Nat did," Bruce mumbled. "Sides, told'im it's what I drink ... when I can't sleep. S'fair warning."
Phil stared at Natasha. It was hard to believe she ever touched the stuff. She hated chemical alterations to her body state even more than Clint did, with sadly valid reasons. Phil had seen her turn down painkillers with her shinbone poking through her skin, until the shabby village doctor wanted to bean her with a frying pan. If she couldn't sleep, she wore herself out training. What could possibly ...? Phil wondered.
Natasha glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "That week," she said. "Toward the end I might have gotten ... rather desperate."
The week they thought I was dead, Phil realized. Damn Fury, for putting her in that much pain. He laid a gentle hand on Natasha's shoulder. "It's perfectly understandable," he said aloud. "I'm glad Bruce was there for you."
* * *
Notes:
The safe limit for going without sleep is about three to four days. Some people can go a week, and the record is eleven days, but that's far beyond when people are really cognitive. Lab animals die of sleep deprivation around ten to fourteen days.
Flashbacks can be a dissociative symptom, in this case impairing Bucky's attempt at problem-solving for his insomnia. This is one way that PTSD interferes with relationships.
Steve and Phil are skirting early signs of caretaker burnout. There are ways of coping with this and taking care of yourself.
A samovar is an elegant kitchen tool for making hot beverages. Natasha's looks similar to this.
Russians like very strong tea which is cut with jam. You can tell that Natasha and Bruce have been sharing because he's picked up the habit from her, and she's given him permission to use her equipment because he's not the kind of person to do so otherwise. Triple-citrus marmalade is real; you can buy it or make your own.
The Nightstick tea blend is somewhat inspired by other insomnia teas, along with other herbal resources. A heavy version is Nighttime Knockout. A milder version is Sleepytime. What Bruce assembled is nothing like a one-trick pony, but rather a complex web of direct sedatives and indirect sleep aids, stress relievers, anxiety remedies, and adaptogens. This removes a great many barriers to peaceful sleep along with giving a firm but not harsh push in that direction. Enough of the effects stack that even Hulk's metabolism can't wash them all out instantly -- and this recipe is probably the first thing that Bruce-and-Hulk actually collaborated on out of sheer desperation until they found something mutually agreeable.
The specific herbs in order of descending proportion are: chamomile, catnip, lemon balm, skullcap, passion flower, hops, lavender, licorice, cocoa (specifically cocoa nibs), and valerian. The top three keep the flavor palatable, although nothing is going to kill the bitter notes from the other herbs. Yes, combinations often work when a simple won't, and some people who don't respond well to pharmaceuticals will respond better to herbs (and vice versa).
Emotional pain can hurt more than physical pain. Natasha was completely blindsided by how much Phil's "death" hurt her, because she doesn't feel much most of the time and thus had no other coping skills. Insomnia is just one of many effects of grief. There are steps to recover from grief and to help someone who is grieving. Fortunately the Avengers had each other to lean on during that week, and Bruce was the one who took the least damage from Fury's sadistic trick, so he was able to help the ones who took direct hits.
[To be continued in Part 37 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Hulk, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS, Bucky Barnes, Nick Fury.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Mind control. Inferences of past child abuse and other torture. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: A mission in Russia introduces the Avengers to the Winter Soldier. Steve wants Bucky back and will stop at nothing to make that happen. Everyone else helps however they can.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Sibling relationships. Fix-it. Teamwork. Canon-typical violence. BAMF!Avengers. Bucky!whump. Vulgar language. Drama. Rescue. Hurt/Comfort. Emotional whump. Survivor guilt. Friendship. Confusion. Mind control. Memory loss. Slow recovery. Nick Fury makes stupid-ass decisions. Fear of loss. Arc reactor. Fluff. Nonsexual ageplay. Making up for lost time. Tony Stark has a heart. Games. Trust issues. Safety and security. Howard Stark's A+ parenting. Obadiah Stane's A+ parenting. Food issues. Multiplicity/Plurality. Sleep issues. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Yoga. Personal growth. Family of choice. ALL THE FEELS. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35. Skip to Part 38, Part 39, Part 40, Part 41.
"No Winter Lasts Forever" Part 36
"Bucky, we have a three-day limit on going without sleep, outside of emergencies. It's a house rule," Phil said. They'd actually set that one because of Tony, whose traumatic history and lack of circadian rhythm sometimes led to the kind of insomniac engineering that ended with laboratory fires. "You're into your fourth day awake. We've given you all the time we safely can and then a little extra. Work with me here. We need to find a way of getting you some sleep that won't break you."
"I know, I know," Bucky said. He shook his head as if trying to clear water from his ears. "I just -- can't. Every time I try to think about options, I keep flashing back on the damn cryochamber. And now you're all staring at me and that is not helping."
"Okay, that at least I can fix," Bruce said gently. He stood up and held out a hand. "Come on, let's sit in the kitchen for a while, just you and me. Maybe we can think of something else. I'm tired too. I have trouble sleeping some nights but the Other Guy isn't very fond of ordinary sleep aids, so I have to get more creative. Maybe one of the things I do for myself would work for you."
Bucky looked at him with bleary eyes and then took his hand. "Fine."
Bruce pulled Bucky effortlessly to his feet, saying, "Up you go."
"You're stronger than you look," Bucky said as they headed for the kitchen.
"Yeah, I get that a lot," Bruce replied. Phil noted that he kept a hand discreetly near Bucky in case of stumbles.
Steve slumped forward and buried his face in his hands. "I hate this," he said.
"So do I," Phil said, laying a hand on his shoulder. Steve leaned into the touch.
"We all do," Natasha said, "but if we pressure Bucky now, we might lose all chance of getting him into anything approaching normal sleep. He's got enough fodder for insomnia and nightmares without adding to that."
"I really hope Bruce can pull a rabbit out of his hat this time," Steve said.
"Trust him," Phil said. "He knows what he's doing. Now that Bucky's tired enough to listen instead of arguing, they should manage to figure something out."
"It's only been a few days, but I'm worn out too. I feel like I haven't slept in a week," Steve said.
"You can tap out if you need to, Steve. Would you like to go to bed? We'll look after Bucky," Phil offered, though honestly he felt the same way. It seemed like such a very long time. He had done things like this before, though, had experience that Steve didn't. Phil had lost assets to traumatic brain injury, and just once, gotten somebody partway past it. He'd sat up with Clint and Natasha through their first restless nights at SHIELD. Phil could cope.
Steve shook his head. "No, I need to see this through."
"All right, then," Phil said. Steve would learn about the importance of teamwork in taking care of someone; pushing him wouldn't help. Meanwhile Phil kept an eye on the door but did not access the security feed from the kitchen. Bucky needed a little privacy, and besides, JARVIS would sound an alert if anything bad happened. The minutes crawled by like five-legged ants.
"It's been an hour," Steve said eventually. "Could we at least ... check on them?"
"I'll come with you," Phil said, and led the way to the kitchen. What he saw made him stop still in the doorway, and Steve ran into him, knocking him over the threshold.
"Whoops, sorry ... what?" Steve stammered.
Bucky was asleep on the table, raspy snores spilling from his open mouth. Bruce sprawled over the other side of the table, one hand still curled around a thick tougher-than-ceramic coffee cup. He had his head pillowed on his arm, drooling on his sleeve. Between them, Natasha's antique silver samovar steamed gently alongside an empty jar of triple-citrus marmalade. The steam smelled of fresh-mown hay with a faint metallic note underneath.
Bruce roused at their approach. He blinked at them in slow motion. "Mission ... 'complished," he said with a lazy grin, tipping a thumb toward the slumbering soldier.
"What did you do to him?" Steve demanded as he pushed his way into the kitchen and hurried to Bucky's side.
"You hit him with the nightstick?" Natasha said in a scandalized tone, coming up behind Phil. Tony and Clint followed her, and then Betty.
"Night ... cap," Bruce enunciated meticulously. "Was just gonna make one cup each, but ... his appetite's bigger ... an' he wanted me to match'im."
Phil picked up the canister of loose-leaf tea labeled with Bruce's distinctive scrawl. The first several ingredients were in English -- chamomile, catnip, lemon balm, skullcap, passion flower, hops, lavender, licorice, cocoa, and valerian -- followed by a few more lines in Latin, Portuguese, and what looked like Hindi. A bright green teddy bear in a whimsical purple nightcap had been drawn on the label with markers.
"Bruce, do you realize that Bucky may never forgive you for this?" Phil asked.
"Nat did," Bruce mumbled. "Sides, told'im it's what I drink ... when I can't sleep. S'fair warning."
Phil stared at Natasha. It was hard to believe she ever touched the stuff. She hated chemical alterations to her body state even more than Clint did, with sadly valid reasons. Phil had seen her turn down painkillers with her shinbone poking through her skin, until the shabby village doctor wanted to bean her with a frying pan. If she couldn't sleep, she wore herself out training. What could possibly ...? Phil wondered.
Natasha glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "That week," she said. "Toward the end I might have gotten ... rather desperate."
The week they thought I was dead, Phil realized. Damn Fury, for putting her in that much pain. He laid a gentle hand on Natasha's shoulder. "It's perfectly understandable," he said aloud. "I'm glad Bruce was there for you."
* * *
Notes:
The safe limit for going without sleep is about three to four days. Some people can go a week, and the record is eleven days, but that's far beyond when people are really cognitive. Lab animals die of sleep deprivation around ten to fourteen days.
Flashbacks can be a dissociative symptom, in this case impairing Bucky's attempt at problem-solving for his insomnia. This is one way that PTSD interferes with relationships.
Steve and Phil are skirting early signs of caretaker burnout. There are ways of coping with this and taking care of yourself.
A samovar is an elegant kitchen tool for making hot beverages. Natasha's looks similar to this.
Russians like very strong tea which is cut with jam. You can tell that Natasha and Bruce have been sharing because he's picked up the habit from her, and she's given him permission to use her equipment because he's not the kind of person to do so otherwise. Triple-citrus marmalade is real; you can buy it or make your own.
The Nightstick tea blend is somewhat inspired by other insomnia teas, along with other herbal resources. A heavy version is Nighttime Knockout. A milder version is Sleepytime. What Bruce assembled is nothing like a one-trick pony, but rather a complex web of direct sedatives and indirect sleep aids, stress relievers, anxiety remedies, and adaptogens. This removes a great many barriers to peaceful sleep along with giving a firm but not harsh push in that direction. Enough of the effects stack that even Hulk's metabolism can't wash them all out instantly -- and this recipe is probably the first thing that Bruce-and-Hulk actually collaborated on out of sheer desperation until they found something mutually agreeable.
The specific herbs in order of descending proportion are: chamomile, catnip, lemon balm, skullcap, passion flower, hops, lavender, licorice, cocoa (specifically cocoa nibs), and valerian. The top three keep the flavor palatable, although nothing is going to kill the bitter notes from the other herbs. Yes, combinations often work when a simple won't, and some people who don't respond well to pharmaceuticals will respond better to herbs (and vice versa).
Emotional pain can hurt more than physical pain. Natasha was completely blindsided by how much Phil's "death" hurt her, because she doesn't feel much most of the time and thus had no other coping skills. Insomnia is just one of many effects of grief. There are steps to recover from grief and to help someone who is grieving. Fortunately the Avengers had each other to lean on during that week, and Bruce was the one who took the least damage from Fury's sadistic trick, so he was able to help the ones who took direct hits.
[To be continued in Part 37 ...]
THIS!
Date: 2013-06-15 06:46 am (UTC)Ohh, Fury, you are in so much trouble, you little troll! Please, can we see someone smack him with his comeuppance soon? Every time I think I have calmed down about him, something brings up my burning loathing for the man.
Another awesome update.
-kellyc
Re: THIS!
Date: 2013-06-16 05:44 am (UTC)*chuckle* I quite agree. Bruce is the only one who calls it Nightcap like it says on the label. Everyone else calls it Nightstick like Natasha does.
>> Ohh, Fury, you are in so much trouble, you little troll! <<
Heh. He really is a troll.
>> Please, can we see someone smack him with his comeuppance soon? <<
The next several chapters deal with reviving Bucky in the morning. The next time Phil goes to his office for paperwork, though, Fury pisses him off again and Phil decides to hit back.
>> Every time I think I have calmed down about him, something brings up my burning loathing for the man. <<
*cackle* I'm glad that my portrayal arouses such intense emotions!
>> Another awesome update. <<
Thank you!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-15 06:58 am (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2013-06-15 08:01 am (UTC)... yes.
>> bad because you pretty much just drugged the shit out Bucky without informed consent <<
Well, Bruce did give him a general warning, and the tea tin was right there on the table. Bucky just didn't think it was going to work quite as well as it did. So not fully informed consent, but not pouncing out of nowhere either ...
>> but good because he really does need to sleep. <<
... and they had to try something.
There will be further discussion of the ethical and practical concerns in future chapters.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2023-08-11 02:41 am (UTC)It helps that Bucky knows Bruce, knows Bruce is a medic, and most importantly knows Bruce is ONLY going this far out of valid concerns for safety--and Bruce immediately apologizes and talks it out with him. Too often in medical settings, no one ever says 'even if none of us had a choice, I'm sorry that had to happen, let's see if we can make you more comfortable now that you're more aware'. A large part of dealing with consent issues is just being aware that sometimes there's no good choice, but you still have to apologize and fix what you can later.
Re: Thoughts
From:Re: Thoughts
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2023-08-11 06:28 pm (UTC) - ExpandRe: Thoughts
From:Re: Thoughts
From:Re: Thoughts
From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-16 12:24 am (UTC)As for Bruce giving Bucky a Mickey Finn... very curious to see what the morning brings.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-16 04:14 am (UTC)(and I got this icon from you!)
*laugh*
Date: 2013-06-16 11:03 pm (UTC)Re: *laugh*
From:Re: *laugh*
From:Re: *laugh*
From:Re: *laugh*
From:Thoughts
Date: 2013-06-16 07:35 pm (UTC)First, I'm using primarily movie canon here. The Brooklyn and historic aspects of dialog were fairly subtle.
Second, it's an accent I have passing familiarity with but not enough to replicate off the top of my head. I'd need a good reference.
Third, I've already established a voice for these characters in this series. I wouldn't want to stray too far from that now. However, I could drop in bits of slang or other markers that wouldn't be too obtrusive.
>> As for Bruce giving Bucky a Mickey Finn... very curious to see what the morning brings. <<
Later chapters do go into that, yes.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-16 04:16 am (UTC)I didn't understand Natasha's "nightstick" line till I read your note.
I love "The minutes crawled by like five-legged ants."
To-posTypos:so I have ^ get more creative
^ to
nothing is going the kill the bitter notes
the kill → to kill
Thank you!
Date: 2013-06-16 06:01 am (UTC)Bruce did about as well as anyone could have done -- he gave Bucky enough of a hint to qualify as consent, without enough detail to spook him off. And it got the job done.
>> And I hope, and more than half expect, that Bucky will agree, though perhaps only half-willingly at first. <<
That comes up in subsequent chapters. Bucky's relationship with Bruce is subtle and complex, and it takes a while to evolve, because they don't fit into neat categories for each other.
>>I didn't understand Natasha's "nightstick" line till I read your note.<<
Sorry about that. Most insomnia teas are called "Night(something)" and this one is kind of like being hit by a very large, very soft mallet. And Natasha thinks in terms of weaponry, so ...
>> I love "The minutes crawled by like five-legged ants." <<
Yay! I wanted a sense of not just slow but erratic motion.
>> To-pos Typos: <<
Fixed, thanks for catching those.
Re: Thank you!
From:Re: Thank you!
From:Re: Thank you!
From:Re: Thank you!
From:Re: Thank you!
From:Re: Thank you!
From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-10 12:36 pm (UTC)Well...
From:Re: Well...
From:Re: Well...
From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-16 05:59 am (UTC)I'm kind of torn on this one. I'm so very, very glad that Bruce got Bucky to crash, and he did warn Bucky that it knocks Bruce out, so it's not his fault, but given Bucky's issues, I would empathize with Bucky if he felt betrayed in this scenario. But.... the boy needed sleep. And poor Natasha... Fury really is a ruthless little bug, isn't he? :(
Thoughts
Date: 2013-06-16 07:29 am (UTC)Well, it's based on my knowledge of herbalism as well as assorted commercial blends. Mostly what I did was what Bruce-and-Hulk would have needed, that nonstandard folks usually need: a wider scope. The commercial blends have a narrower focus ...
>> Nothing worse than knowing you need sleep, but your body and/or brain being like "Nope, nu-uh, not sleeping, let's play!" <<
... so they don't always work on this kind of problem. First you need to figure out why you can't sleep, as precisely as possible. Sometimes it's not being able to fall asleep, or not being able to stay asleep, or not being able to stop thinking, or not being able to ignore your body's random signals, etc. Other times it's a magical talent flaring up, that's really distracting. And there are herbs that will fix all of those things, but they're not exactly the same ones. A good blend will soothe distractions as well as lowering metabolism into sleep.
>> I'm kind of torn on this one. <<
Sometimes there are no safe, easy answers and the most you can do is choose a course of action that minimizes the potential for harm. There's a lot of that with Bucky, where even doing nothing would run a risk of real harm. So they have to coax him into trying things as best they can, and hope that doesn't hurt him too much. This way, at least Bucky knows they're trying to help.
>> I'm so very, very glad that Bruce got Bucky to crash, and he did warn Bucky that it knocks Bruce out, so it's not his fault, but given Bucky's issues, I would empathize with Bucky if he felt betrayed in this scenario. <<
Bucky has mixed feelings about a lot of things, between what the Avengers are doing, and what baggage he has from the past. At least he knows that some of his feelings are basically nonsense; that helps.
>> But.... the boy needed sleep. <<
That's what Bucky needs most right now, really. Sleep deprivation makes everything else worse. Just getting enough rest gives him more resources to deal with all the other crap. And one risk with an enhanced body, as with certain types of military training, is that you can run it right to breakdown; then it takes a lot longer to recover than if you stop before then.
>> And poor Natasha... Fury really is a ruthless little bug, isn't he? :( <<
Yeah, she was totally blindsided by that and had no relevant coping skills. And Clint was in no shape to help, so it's lucky she had Bruce. The fact that Bruce did that even when they were terrified of each other is proof that he's a real hero.
Fury, on the other hand, does not care who gets hurt or how badly, so long as he gets what he wants. That is one of the more salient definitions of evil, and it's all over his behavior in movie canon. I'm just playing it out as if people actually recognize this and start protecting each other from his attacks.
Re: Thoughts
From:Re: Thoughts
From:Re: Thoughts
From:Re: Thoughts
From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-10 12:43 pm (UTC)Try this...
From:Re: Try this...
From:Re: Try this...
From:Re: Try this...
From:Re: Try this...
From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-16 11:38 am (UTC)Totally feeling Natasha's anguish here, thinking of that week when they believed Coulson was dead. I agree with you that emotional pain can be so much worse. It can make you want to die. Sometimes you may want to die from physical pain too, but usually it's not for real, you'd like to be ressucitated after the pain is gone!
Ad thanks for another great chapter!
You're welcome!
Date: 2013-06-17 07:33 pm (UTC)Yes. Bucky has just gotten used to the fact that not much has an effect on him anymore. He's not used to working with the world's best brewer.
>> Totally feeling Natasha's anguish here, thinking of that week when they believed Coulson was dead. <<
Poor Natasha, she was completely unable to cope with that, and Clint wasn't able to help because he was wrecked too. They're lucky they had someone who wasn't much affected by what went down.
>> I agree with you that emotional pain can be so much worse. It can make you want to die. Sometimes you may want to die from physical pain too, but usually it's not for real, you'd like to be ressucitated after the pain is gone! <<
A couple of differences that make emotional pain worse:
1) Physical pain has physical limits as to how bad it gets, before you pass out or your body shuts down from the damage. Emotional pain can just keep getting worse. People can and do break from emotional pain, but the threshold seems a lot farther out.
2) Physical pain usually goes away after a while; either the damage heals, or it kills you. There aren't a lot of things that cause major chronic pain (although those few can be life-wrecking). Emotional pain doesn't go away. If you're lucky and you work at processing it, then it diminishes over time into something less obtrusive. But it's perfectly possible for emotional misery to last indefinitely.
>>And thanks for another great chapter!<<
I'm glad you liked this.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-17 06:12 am (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2013-06-17 06:39 am (UTC)My family has one too, though I'm not sure where it came from. We used it for wassail and such when I was little. Then later in Russian class, I got to try the Russian style of tea.
>> I'd have figured that anyone drinking tea for the purposes of knocking themselves out with herbal teas would try drinking the super-saturated stuff from the top little portion <<
Very astute. That is in fact exactly what they did. I think Bruce normally makes it with a teaball in a mug of hot water, but he was making it stronger on purpose this time.
>> (I've been told doing that with black tea is a good way to give yourself heart palpitations) <<
Yeah, it's a little risky. Not dangerous for most people, but too much caffeine is not fun.
>> but that gets into the question of just how much Bucky wanted to knock himself out no? <<
Really, really desperate -- enough to try this solution at all. Consider that Bucky is about as fussy as Clint or Natasha on putting things into his body, for the same reasons. Bucky didn't really believe this would work, but he half-hoped and half-feared that it would. He didn't know enough about herbalism to understand how much stronger boiling the stuff would make it, but he had to have known that drinking more would raise the effect. He was so tired, though, he was only working with a sliver of awareness, so his decision-making was less than half conscious. A complex situation with no easy solution, but they managed to find a way through that did no lasting harm to anyone.
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From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-18 02:38 pm (UTC)Whoof. I hope Valerian works better on Bruce-and-Hulk and Bucky than it works on me. It'll knock me out, all right, but I wake up every bit as tired as I was when I went down. I avoid it now.
I was laughing aloud as I read the list of herbs, and it sounds like Bucky drank enough to knock out a horse.
Thank you!
Date: 2013-06-19 07:56 am (UTC)Yay!
>> Whoof. I hope Valerian works better on Bruce-and-Hulk and Bucky than it works on me. <<
Drugs and herbs work differently for different people. This fact is robustly established, but an appalling number of people -- especially professionals -- ignore it. Some are actively hostile to accommodating it. (Major red flag.) The sensible thing to do is to learn your own or your patient's response pattern.
Take echinacea for example; it does nothing for some people but works great for others. For me it will cut the severity and duration of an illness about in half, sometimes even head it off.
>> It'll knock me out, all right, but I wake up every bit as tired as I was when I went down. I avoid it now. <<
Avoiding it is prudent for you.
That's not a rare effect for sedatives, especially the ones meant to maintain rather than induce sleep. Essentially, some is left over after the need is gone, and becomes a liability. That's not a problem for enhanced humans, because their metabolism burns it off so fast. It's a variable for ordinary humans, because some people are more sensitive to it while others will go right through it.
>> I was laughing aloud as I read the list of herbs, and it sounds like Bucky drank enough to knock out a horse. <<
*chuckle* Between them, Bruce and Bucky put away the entire contents of the little teapot atop the samovar. They not only drank a lot more than usual, it was much more potent than usual, which is a big reason why they conked out on the table instead of having *a* cup of tea and then going to bed. One cup of Nightcap, brewed normally, is about like chamomile for Bruce; gentle but helpful. He knows how to make it stronger if he needs to, which sometimes happens.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-25 03:53 am (UTC)Also, I've found an NIH study suggesting that turmeric, known as a liver and body cleanser, can be used to treat arthritis pain (osteo and rheumatoid), and is also comparable to Prozac in terms of its anti-depressant effects; it is currently being studied for Alzheimer's treatment. This is due to curcumin, the chemical that gives turmeric its yellow color. You can find turmeric in yellow mustard and in curry powder; it's a common and sacred spice in India, so I'm sure Bruce would know about it.
Yes...
Date: 2014-06-25 04:20 am (UTC)Research first is always a good rule for herbal supplements.
Turmeric is a likely ingredient for Bruce's mood-mender tea. He's put as much effort into designing that as the Nightcap.
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Date: 2016-11-12 10:32 pm (UTC)Re: Sleep Dep
Date: 2016-11-14 07:26 am (UTC)Re: Sleep Dep
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