Story: "No Winter Lasts Forever" (Part 27)
Jun. 6th, 2013 12:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis story is a sequel to "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," and "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," and "Birthday Girl."
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Hulk, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS, Bucky Barnes, Nick Fury.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Mind control. Inferences of past child abuse and other torture. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: A mission in Russia introduces the Avengers to the Winter Soldier. Steve wants Bucky back and will stop at nothing to make that happen. Everyone else helps however they can.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Sibling relationships. Fix-it. Teamwork. Canon-typical violence. BAMF!Avengers. Bucky!whump. Vulgar language. Drama. Rescue. Hurt/Comfort. Emotional whump. Survivor guilt. Friendship. Confusion. Mind control. Memory loss. Slow recovery. Nick Fury makes stupid-ass decisions. Fear of loss. Arc reactor. Fluff. Nonsexual ageplay. Making up for lost time. Tony Stark has a heart. Games. Trust issues. Safety and security. Howard Stark's A+ parenting. Obadiah Stane's A+ parenting. Food issues. Multiplicity/Plurality. Sleep issues. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Yoga. Personal growth. Family of choice. ALL THE FEELS. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26. Skip to Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32.
"No Winter Lasts Forever" Part 27
Phil spent the remainder of the afternoon looking through his materials on PTSD and traumatic brain injury, since nobody had really written about "how to treat the aftermath of forced cryonics and brainwashing." He managed to put together some good resources on specific symptoms. Then when he got to the mood swings, JARVIS interrupted.
"Excuse me, Phil, but Betty has already completed a search in this area and flagged her notes for your attention so you don't duplicate efforts," he said. "She also directs your attention to additional material on state-dependent memory, context-dependent memory, and cue-dependent forgetting."
"Open the files," Phil said. A hologram appeared and unstacked itself into a tidy array of information. Some was new, specifically for Bucky. Other material was older, for Bruce-and-Hulk. It looked promising.
There was also a note about Betty's former boyfriend. Dr. Leonard Samson had volunteered his help in case anyone needed somebody to talk with outside the team but familiar with at least some of their situation. That could prove useful.
Phil had debriefed the man after the fiasco with Blonsky and General Ross, and was impressed with Dr. Samson's critical analysis of Ross (obsessive-compulsive, manic, and abusive tendencies; probable sociopathy; textbook paranoia). Phil smiled as he recalled Leonard's jabs at Ross -- He protected her. You almost killed her. and I used to wonder why she never talked about you. Now I know. -- as precise and painful as nerve strikes. His input had already helped keep Ross away from Bruce and now Betty.
Phil sent a message to Dr. Samson. It wouldn't hurt to have an ace up his sleeve. Maybe he could even convince the man to come work for SHIELD. Then Phil settled in to read.
Presently a chime sounded and JARVIS announced, "One hour until dinner, Phil."
Phil sighed. He really didn't feel like cooking and everyone else was busy. He called up the list of the team's favorite delivery restaurants and ordered a selection of things that would, hopefully, be recognizable to Bucky. Then he took a while to organize his research and close all the files. Finally he went down to the shooting range.
Clint had his bow and quiver, a formidable example of Stark engineering. Bucky had a sniper rifle, also courtesy of the Stark arsenal, with a sleek intelligent look to it. Phil considered it a mark of high regard that Tony would make weapons for the team, even after divesting his company from that field at great cost. They all took exquisite care not to dishonor the name and reputation that came attached to those gifts. Now Phil listened to the soft thwip of the bow and sharper crack of the rifle. Natasha was keeping score for Clint, and Steve was keeping score for Bucky.
"Bite me," Clint said to Bucky. "I beat you by two whole millimeters. You owe me another beer, old man."
Bucky stuck his tongue out at Clint.
Phil felt a flood of joy and relief so piercing that it made him gasp. It's all right, he thought. Bucky really is going to be all right. That one little gesture showed that Bucky's sense of humor, such a fragile and human thing, had survived everything done to him.
"I ordered supper," Phil said to them. "You have time to shower and change before it arrives."
"I don't have --" Bucky began.
"We sent out for a few basic clothes based on your measurements," Phil said. "They're in the guest room on Steve's floor. Go on, now. I'll see you upstairs."
Supper included personal meatloaves, miniature loaves of bread, an assortment of vegetable sides, and two different cakes. Steve took some of all the vegetables. Then he sliced a meatloaf in half lengthwise, did the same with two bread loaves, and made sandwiches. He put one on his own plate and handed the other to Bucky.
"That looks like a lot," Bucky said.
"Remember how my metabolism runs about four times average?" Steve said, waiting for Bucky's nod. "Okay, Natasha thinks yours falls somewhere between hers and mine. So you need about three times the usual amount of food, or maybe more if you eat that and still feel hungry."
"I don't ... really have much of an appetite anymore," Bucky said.
"With your biochemistry and sleep pattern so messed up, that's not surprising," said Bruce. "Eat the sandwich for now. If you feel like you've got room left, pick one vegetable and one slice of cake. Don't overeat or pressure yourself to try too many new things at once. Snack later if you need it."
Bucky ate slowly, seeming to pay a little more attention this time. He liked the meatloaf. That made Phil happy; he'd picked it because it was one of Steve's favorites.
When they cut the cakes, Steve laughed suddenly, then looked at Bucky and said simply, "Wanna?" Bucky gave an eager nod. Steve took a slice of chocolate and a slice of white cake, then teased apart the layers to create two mixed-flavor slices. He passed the chocolate-vanilla-chocolate one to Bucky, keeping the vanilla-chocolate-vanilla one for himself. "We used to do this when we were younger," he said to Phil.
"Whatever works for you," Phil said mildly. "Should I be getting out the sprinkles?"
"Yeah!" said Clint at the same time Tony said, "And ice cream, preferably peanut butter!"
"Is he serious?" Bucky whispered to Steve. "Why do you even have that stuff?"
"Because we like it," Steve said.
"Do you like the same confetti mix that Steve likes or do you want something different?" Phil said, his hands full of tiny bottles.
Bucky looked down at his plate. "I don't remember that," he said.
"You don't like the multi-colored ones, but you don't -- didn't -- eat your favorite in public," Steve said. He leaned over to whisper in Bucky's ear.
"Well, nobody would dare call me a sissy now," Bucky said, flexing his metal hand. "Phil, I'd like bubblegum sprinkles, please, if you have them."
* * *
Notes:
Here's a review of PTSD and traumatic brain injury.
Memory states influence how people learn and remember things. State-dependent learning can be influenced by emotions, drugs, and other factors. Context-dependent memory relies on places, objects, actions, emotions, etc. Cue-dependent forgetting relates to retrieval failure when the relevant hints are missing. All of these help explain how Department X controlled Bucky's memory to suppress inconvenient history and morals while still leaving a functional assassin -- and how he's regaining more of his memory now with assistance from people he has known.
Leonard Samson appeared in The Incredible Hulk as Betty's then-current boyfriend. The two quotes are from that movie.
Returning sense of humor can be a sign of recovery from PTSD and other problems. Humor can help people heal in general. There are ways to encourage a sense of humor.
Insomnia can interfere with appetite. There are ways to deal with low appetite.
[To be continued in Part 28 ...]
Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Hulk, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS, Bucky Barnes, Nick Fury.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Mind control. Inferences of past child abuse and other torture. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: A mission in Russia introduces the Avengers to the Winter Soldier. Steve wants Bucky back and will stop at nothing to make that happen. Everyone else helps however they can.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Sibling relationships. Fix-it. Teamwork. Canon-typical violence. BAMF!Avengers. Bucky!whump. Vulgar language. Drama. Rescue. Hurt/Comfort. Emotional whump. Survivor guilt. Friendship. Confusion. Mind control. Memory loss. Slow recovery. Nick Fury makes stupid-ass decisions. Fear of loss. Arc reactor. Fluff. Nonsexual ageplay. Making up for lost time. Tony Stark has a heart. Games. Trust issues. Safety and security. Howard Stark's A+ parenting. Obadiah Stane's A+ parenting. Food issues. Multiplicity/Plurality. Sleep issues. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Yoga. Personal growth. Family of choice. ALL THE FEELS. #coulsonlives.
Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26. Skip to Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32.
"No Winter Lasts Forever" Part 27
Phil spent the remainder of the afternoon looking through his materials on PTSD and traumatic brain injury, since nobody had really written about "how to treat the aftermath of forced cryonics and brainwashing." He managed to put together some good resources on specific symptoms. Then when he got to the mood swings, JARVIS interrupted.
"Excuse me, Phil, but Betty has already completed a search in this area and flagged her notes for your attention so you don't duplicate efforts," he said. "She also directs your attention to additional material on state-dependent memory, context-dependent memory, and cue-dependent forgetting."
"Open the files," Phil said. A hologram appeared and unstacked itself into a tidy array of information. Some was new, specifically for Bucky. Other material was older, for Bruce-and-Hulk. It looked promising.
There was also a note about Betty's former boyfriend. Dr. Leonard Samson had volunteered his help in case anyone needed somebody to talk with outside the team but familiar with at least some of their situation. That could prove useful.
Phil had debriefed the man after the fiasco with Blonsky and General Ross, and was impressed with Dr. Samson's critical analysis of Ross (obsessive-compulsive, manic, and abusive tendencies; probable sociopathy; textbook paranoia). Phil smiled as he recalled Leonard's jabs at Ross -- He protected her. You almost killed her. and I used to wonder why she never talked about you. Now I know. -- as precise and painful as nerve strikes. His input had already helped keep Ross away from Bruce and now Betty.
Phil sent a message to Dr. Samson. It wouldn't hurt to have an ace up his sleeve. Maybe he could even convince the man to come work for SHIELD. Then Phil settled in to read.
Presently a chime sounded and JARVIS announced, "One hour until dinner, Phil."
Phil sighed. He really didn't feel like cooking and everyone else was busy. He called up the list of the team's favorite delivery restaurants and ordered a selection of things that would, hopefully, be recognizable to Bucky. Then he took a while to organize his research and close all the files. Finally he went down to the shooting range.
Clint had his bow and quiver, a formidable example of Stark engineering. Bucky had a sniper rifle, also courtesy of the Stark arsenal, with a sleek intelligent look to it. Phil considered it a mark of high regard that Tony would make weapons for the team, even after divesting his company from that field at great cost. They all took exquisite care not to dishonor the name and reputation that came attached to those gifts. Now Phil listened to the soft thwip of the bow and sharper crack of the rifle. Natasha was keeping score for Clint, and Steve was keeping score for Bucky.
"Bite me," Clint said to Bucky. "I beat you by two whole millimeters. You owe me another beer, old man."
Bucky stuck his tongue out at Clint.
Phil felt a flood of joy and relief so piercing that it made him gasp. It's all right, he thought. Bucky really is going to be all right. That one little gesture showed that Bucky's sense of humor, such a fragile and human thing, had survived everything done to him.
"I ordered supper," Phil said to them. "You have time to shower and change before it arrives."
"I don't have --" Bucky began.
"We sent out for a few basic clothes based on your measurements," Phil said. "They're in the guest room on Steve's floor. Go on, now. I'll see you upstairs."
Supper included personal meatloaves, miniature loaves of bread, an assortment of vegetable sides, and two different cakes. Steve took some of all the vegetables. Then he sliced a meatloaf in half lengthwise, did the same with two bread loaves, and made sandwiches. He put one on his own plate and handed the other to Bucky.
"That looks like a lot," Bucky said.
"Remember how my metabolism runs about four times average?" Steve said, waiting for Bucky's nod. "Okay, Natasha thinks yours falls somewhere between hers and mine. So you need about three times the usual amount of food, or maybe more if you eat that and still feel hungry."
"I don't ... really have much of an appetite anymore," Bucky said.
"With your biochemistry and sleep pattern so messed up, that's not surprising," said Bruce. "Eat the sandwich for now. If you feel like you've got room left, pick one vegetable and one slice of cake. Don't overeat or pressure yourself to try too many new things at once. Snack later if you need it."
Bucky ate slowly, seeming to pay a little more attention this time. He liked the meatloaf. That made Phil happy; he'd picked it because it was one of Steve's favorites.
When they cut the cakes, Steve laughed suddenly, then looked at Bucky and said simply, "Wanna?" Bucky gave an eager nod. Steve took a slice of chocolate and a slice of white cake, then teased apart the layers to create two mixed-flavor slices. He passed the chocolate-vanilla-chocolate one to Bucky, keeping the vanilla-chocolate-vanilla one for himself. "We used to do this when we were younger," he said to Phil.
"Whatever works for you," Phil said mildly. "Should I be getting out the sprinkles?"
"Yeah!" said Clint at the same time Tony said, "And ice cream, preferably peanut butter!"
"Is he serious?" Bucky whispered to Steve. "Why do you even have that stuff?"
"Because we like it," Steve said.
"Do you like the same confetti mix that Steve likes or do you want something different?" Phil said, his hands full of tiny bottles.
Bucky looked down at his plate. "I don't remember that," he said.
"You don't like the multi-colored ones, but you don't -- didn't -- eat your favorite in public," Steve said. He leaned over to whisper in Bucky's ear.
"Well, nobody would dare call me a sissy now," Bucky said, flexing his metal hand. "Phil, I'd like bubblegum sprinkles, please, if you have them."
* * *
Notes:
Here's a review of PTSD and traumatic brain injury.
Memory states influence how people learn and remember things. State-dependent learning can be influenced by emotions, drugs, and other factors. Context-dependent memory relies on places, objects, actions, emotions, etc. Cue-dependent forgetting relates to retrieval failure when the relevant hints are missing. All of these help explain how Department X controlled Bucky's memory to suppress inconvenient history and morals while still leaving a functional assassin -- and how he's regaining more of his memory now with assistance from people he has known.
Leonard Samson appeared in The Incredible Hulk as Betty's then-current boyfriend. The two quotes are from that movie.
Returning sense of humor can be a sign of recovery from PTSD and other problems. Humor can help people heal in general. There are ways to encourage a sense of humor.
Insomnia can interfere with appetite. There are ways to deal with low appetite.
[To be continued in Part 28 ...]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-06 06:13 am (UTC)Yes...
Date: 2013-06-08 08:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-06 10:02 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-06 12:42 pm (UTC)Yes...
Date: 2013-06-07 06:30 am (UTC)They've always been a good team, and mostly been poor. I figured they would have ways of compensating.
>>My brother and I used to cut donuts in half so that we could try different ones.<<
That's clever!
>> Jarvis and Phil probably know every restaurant that does delivery in the area and/or take out in the area. <<
All the ones that the Avengers like, anyway. Also most restaurants will at least pack things to go if Tony waves enough money at them. I figure he's probably outright bribed some of his favorites to do that. But a lot of the places he likes are designed that way to begin with: he likes fast food in general.
>> Can Phil call on SHIELD minions for things like picking up food? -- they probably wouldn't want to give enemies the opportunity to slip poisons in the takeout. <<
He could, but think about how justifiably suspicious Tony is to begin with, and how little the Avengers trust SHIELD at this point. Tony probably uses a bonded delivery service or personally knows the people at his favorite restaurants. And since most people aren't fucking idiots like Obie was, they know better than to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. I mean, have you seen how protective waitstaff or bellhops can be concerning a good tipper?
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-06 02:54 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2013-06-08 08:25 am (UTC)He really is. Part of that is innate, and part is super-soldier recovery rate. There will still be ups and downs, though.
>> In this chapter, it's almost like the 'kids' and Bucky fits right in. <<
Yes, this is the kind of thing that Phil is watching for, to see whether Bucky might fit into game night. That Bucky can still goof around is a sign that he's not irreparably broken, just banged up a lot.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-06 05:28 pm (UTC)I'm not so sure about the strange sprinkles, but to each his own ; )! And at least, it shows that they know how to treat themselves!
Yes...
Date: 2013-06-08 10:18 pm (UTC)True. He's always been a tough guy; he survived being poor in the Depression. The super-soldier aspect helps too. But there will still be good days and bad days.
>> I suppose Steve's presence helps a lot, though. Steve's like a living memory for Bucky. <<
Yes, exactly. To a lesser extent, Natasha serves the same purpose. They can remember things for Bucky when he can't, and the personal connection makes it stronger than JARVIS doing the same thing. Living memory and prosthetic memory. Put them together and Bucky can manage, not full functionality yet, but at least enough for most everyday purposes.
Conversely, Bucky does much the same for them: a living part of their past, when Steve and Natasha have lost so much of what they were and who they knew.
>> I'm not so sure about the strange sprinkles, but to each his own ; )! And at least, it shows that they know how to treat themselves! <<
Yes. Bubblegum sprinkles are strange. There are versions just made of the flavoring in a candy base, and actual chips of bubblegum. Not easy to find, but some people love the damn stuff. Different Avengers have different favorites so that's why all the little bottles. Uncle Phil encourages them to learn what they like and take time to enjoy it when they can.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-06 09:13 pm (UTC)-Mintshadow2
Please excuse the fangirling but...
Date: 2013-06-07 02:09 am (UTC)This is Tsugath, too lazy to login.
Re: Please excuse the fangirling but...
Date: 2013-06-07 02:22 am (UTC)No, usually it's once a day, shortly after midnight my time. Sometimes the system may log that differently. Depending on my schedule and net access, some installments may be delayed, but I aim for daily.
>> Do you mind the fangirling, because I love your addition of Notes at the end of all the stories. <<
Feedback is candy! Go right ahead.
>> I can ignore the ones I know, but look up the ones I don't- and they happen to be pretty good. <<
Thank you! The notes have grown over the course of this series. Some of my original series also run to notes, others less so. I usually put notes on things that are less-common knowledge, so anything with a specific culture (Fiorenza the Wisewoman, Hart's Farm) or high development (Schrodinger's Heroes) tends to have some entries with notes.
>> Do you choose some story content based on the extra information you have available or visa-versa? <<
Sometimes. I usually write the story first and look for notes as needed while I go along, then add more notes during revisions. If I find a really good reference it may inspire something new. I also get ideas from my audience in ongoing series. Not just this one, but my original work -- some of the Poetic Series have very avid supporters who frequently prompt me for new stuff.
It's not rare for my audience to prompt me with articles, either. That comes up in my Poetry Fishbowl project, but also in this series -- you can see a few cases in the notes where somebody pointed me to a piece so good that I added it to the notes section.
>>This is Tsugath, too lazy to login.<<
Hi! Happy to meet you.