Self-Soothing and Self-Control
Apr. 29th, 2013 01:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithAs part of the ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
three_weeks_for_dw project (running April 25-May 15), I'm posting some content just to Dreamwidth. This is a good opportunity to seek new readers for your blog and new blogs to read, and to recommend stuff you enjoy on other people's blogs to help them make new connections too. Previously we discussed "Skin Hunger," "Touch Aversion," and "Primates Need Touch." Skip ahead to "Compassion and Gentleness," "Creating Safe Space," "Building Trust," "Healthy Vulnerability," "Coping with Emotional Drop."
Self-Soothing and Self-Control
Self-soothing is a toolkit for taking care of yourself when you feel stressed. It is emotional first aid. It includes actions to engage the senses and occupy the mind with something more positive. These focus on personal touchstones for comfort, as different people find different things to be relaxing. You need to find things that work for you, not necessarily what someone else says you "should" find calming.
People who have post-traumatic stress disorder often turn to self-soothing to relieve negative feelings and boost positive ones. This is true for many other mental conditions as well. Healthy people also use self-soothing gestures when they feel stressed, just not as often. There are guides to body language that list common meanings for certain motions. Bear in mind that some people have idiosyncratic meanings.
There are some cultural constraints against self-soothing. People are discouraged from loving or caring for themselves, from expressing their emotions, in many ways. But it's often better than bottling up emotions until they explode. Explore some different techniques for soothing yourself.
Self-control or self-regulation is the ability to make choices based on long-term goals. This is a skill that most people learn while growing up. Child abuse and other forms of trauma can interfere with that process.
There are strategies for developing self-regulation skills. Many of the same techniques from good parenting also work in teaching self-control to adults. Even something as simple as setting a good example can help, especially for people who have low control due to a deprived background rather than deliberate recklessness. Focus on identifying and releasing negative emotions in constructive ways instead of destructive ways. This leaves more room for positive emotions to emerge.
Self-soothing and self-control work together. When you feel calm, it's easier to make good choices even if they require some willpower. When you can avoid making rash actions, you give yourself time to settle down. This buffers the stress of daily life, making it more comfortable to work through both intrapersonal and interpersonal challenges.
What are some of your favorite calming methods? What helps you keep a grip on your self-control?
three_weeks_for_dw project (running April 25-May 15), I'm posting some content just to Dreamwidth. This is a good opportunity to seek new readers for your blog and new blogs to read, and to recommend stuff you enjoy on other people's blogs to help them make new connections too. Previously we discussed "Skin Hunger," "Touch Aversion," and "Primates Need Touch." Skip ahead to "Compassion and Gentleness," "Creating Safe Space," "Building Trust," "Healthy Vulnerability," "Coping with Emotional Drop."Self-Soothing and Self-Control
Self-soothing is a toolkit for taking care of yourself when you feel stressed. It is emotional first aid. It includes actions to engage the senses and occupy the mind with something more positive. These focus on personal touchstones for comfort, as different people find different things to be relaxing. You need to find things that work for you, not necessarily what someone else says you "should" find calming.
People who have post-traumatic stress disorder often turn to self-soothing to relieve negative feelings and boost positive ones. This is true for many other mental conditions as well. Healthy people also use self-soothing gestures when they feel stressed, just not as often. There are guides to body language that list common meanings for certain motions. Bear in mind that some people have idiosyncratic meanings.
There are some cultural constraints against self-soothing. People are discouraged from loving or caring for themselves, from expressing their emotions, in many ways. But it's often better than bottling up emotions until they explode. Explore some different techniques for soothing yourself.
Self-control or self-regulation is the ability to make choices based on long-term goals. This is a skill that most people learn while growing up. Child abuse and other forms of trauma can interfere with that process.
There are strategies for developing self-regulation skills. Many of the same techniques from good parenting also work in teaching self-control to adults. Even something as simple as setting a good example can help, especially for people who have low control due to a deprived background rather than deliberate recklessness. Focus on identifying and releasing negative emotions in constructive ways instead of destructive ways. This leaves more room for positive emotions to emerge.
Self-soothing and self-control work together. When you feel calm, it's easier to make good choices even if they require some willpower. When you can avoid making rash actions, you give yourself time to settle down. This buffers the stress of daily life, making it more comfortable to work through both intrapersonal and interpersonal challenges.
What are some of your favorite calming methods? What helps you keep a grip on your self-control?
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-29 11:26 pm (UTC)