Vocabulary: Resistentialism

[ysabetwordsmith]

Resistentialism:

"seemingly spiteful behavior manifested by inanimate objects", where objects that cause problems (like lost keys, printers, or a runaway bouncy ball) are said to exhibit a high degree of malice toward humans. The theory posits a war being fought between humans and inanimate objects, and all the little annoyances that objects cause throughout the day are battles between the two.

Comments

[conuly]

You know, when my mother was in the hospital one of the guards at the security desk had ongoing issues with the ID reader. I chided him for calling the machine bad names - why should the machine put forth its best effort if it'll only be insulted? If his manager came up and insulted him he would resent that. I told him the best way to get good work out of your inanimate objects is to reward them with praise for doing a good job.

I'm not sure he was convinced by my logic, but my mother was dying so he didn't argue with me. Also, I was right.

[see_also_friend]

I'd just as well not hear hospital security cussing all the time. If they get punched in the face, fine, say "Dammit!" or something. But I wouldn't want everyone to be casually swearing at every annoyance, it would make me uncomfortable. (And if I feel I am being an annoying patient, well, then, I'd at least want to run off and hide somewhere, which helps exactly no-one.

[conuly]

Oh, I don't think looking back he was just randomly cursing. I think it was more that I'd mentioned it was taking a while and he called the machine stupid, something along those lines.

[see_also_friend]

I'd likely file that as being annoyed or having a bad day than a signal that the person was aggressive. Not perfect behavior, but much more within acceptable parameters.

[greghousesgf]

As I was on my way home this afternoon, I was getting off the elevator to go to my apt and a guy was getting on at the same time and he accidentally dropped his keys and they fell down the crack between the elevator and the floor down the shaft!

O_O

[ysabetwordsmith]

Well that's terrifying. I hope they didn't hit anything important. Losing your keys always sucks, but losing them down a vital piece of machinery is worse.

Re: O_O

[greghousesgf]

He didn't know what to do, I told him he should probably go to the office so they could get the maintenance guys.

Re: O_O

[ysabetwordsmith]

Yeah, the maintenance guys definitely need to know that something fell down the shaft where important equipment is.

Re: O_O

[greghousesgf]

I just hope there was somebody in the office. It was before 4 in the afternoon but they have a tendency to go home early.

Re: O_O

[see_also_friend]

Well, they should have an emergency number somewhere (and if they don't I don't think very highly of their intelligence or common sense).

As for the keys, hopefully he has spare(s)?

Re: O_O

[greghousesgf]

There is a maintenance emergency number but last time I tried to use it nobody answered the phone. They're not very smart. I could go into their screwups at some length but I don't feel up to it.

Re: O_O

[ysabetwordsmith]

They'll figure out why that's stupid if the keys fell into a gear and the elevator quits working. Fuckwits.

Re: O_O

[greghousesgf]

you said it!

Re: O_O

[see_also_friend]

You could always keep a list, in the event you need a record of their nonsense (or alternately, in case you ever need a series of "So you wouldn't believe this happened, but-" stories to entertain people with.)

[scrubjayspeaks]

This becomes particularly funny when the inanimate objects have preferences about people and selectively deploy said malice. Which is to say, sometimes the way I fix a machine that's acting up is to come stand by it for a while until it feels better and then go away again. "What did you do?" "*shrug* Talk nice to it?" Though it does become slightly vexing when the solution is to babysit it until the operator finishes out the batch of parts.

I'm just an emotional support grease monkey. :D

Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

I've seen that too. :D

[acelightning73]

I'm the one people ask to help make the machinery obey. Usually if I just pat the machine a little bit, it'll straighten right out. I was just born with that skill, and it really IS very useful. I've convinced a car to get up a steep ice-covered hill, and I've also held a malfunctioning car together until we could get home and fix it. And when we ran out of gas in Nevada, I was the only one whose cell phone could call the AAA. (I'm pretty handy with RF, and I managed to punch the signal through to the cell tower in the middle of the desert.) Three people in the car, all using different mobile carriers. The others just wouldn't connect.

I don't usually swear at machines in human languages. Yiddish works some of the time, but Klingon is the most effective. I've never tried Orc-ish, but cursing in Nuyorican street Spanish does occasionally get the idea across.

[fuzzyred]

This happens frequently where I work, yet some people refuse to believe it when I point it out. "It's just a machine, it only knows how to do one thing." And yet... Some days, the machine is just not having it, or doesn't like the operator that day.

Actually, I feel like this applies today in particular; nothing seems to be happy on the line I'm running. It's just a finicky package that causes problems everywhere.

[see_also_friend]

Point out that living organisms are basically chemical machines designed to eat, duplicate ourselves, and occasionally do other fun tasks like making oxygen and terraforming.

And this living machine definitely has Opinions about being shouted at!

[fuzzyred]

That is an excellent point.

[see_also_friend]

Thank you.

[goatgodschild]

This is why I apologize when I drop items or bonk them (especially since I can feel it happen in my body), and say thank you for their work.

[labelleizzy]

Yes. That's my attitude also. Like, it took me 35 ish years to stop yelling abuse at myself, I was actually much faster about being kind to inanimate objects than to myself...

And what you said, about feeling the bonk in your body? I've never thought to put words to it, but yes, my body has the same kind of sympathetic reaction!

[acelightning73]

Me too!