Meta: "Why I Love Wednesday Addams" Part 5: Relationships

[ysabetwordsmith]

This installment discusses the general relationships of Wednesday Addams in Wednesday.

Here is the character study:
Meta: "Why I Love Wednesday Addams" Part 1: Introduction
Meta: "Why I Love Wednesday Addams" Part 2: Ethnicity & Linguistics
Meta: "Why I Love Wednesday Addams" Part 3: An Outcast
Meta: "Why I Love Wednesday Addams" Part 4: Thoughts and Feelings
Meta: "Why I Love Wednesday Addams" Part 5: Relationships
Meta: "Why I Love Wednesday Addams" Part 6: Solitary Accomplishments
Meta: "Why I Love Wednesday Addams" Part 7: Trust and Betrayal
Meta: "Why I Love Wednesday Addams" Part 8: Connected Characters
Meta: "Why I Love Wednesday Addams" Part 9: Enid

See also:
"Why I Love Wednesday Addams" Part 1: Introduction


Wednesday Addams is not a people person, and she is quite honest about that. She is an outcast among Outcasts. She is an introvert and most of her favorite pastimes, like writing and playing cello, are solitary. The problem is that other people don't want to accept it. They think of her as antisocial and want to make her more social. But introverts just socialize differently than extroverts. The problem is worst with some of the boys, who get interested in her because of her enigmatic and aloof nature, demand her attention -- but then get hurt feelings and sulk when she continues to be her weird, introverted self instead of fawning over them like they expect. A similar issue occurs with Enid Sinclair, who unilaterally decides to make friends with Wednesday, offers unasked advice and favors, then throws a fit when Wednesday does not reciprocate as expected -- which is not that different from a guy who buys dinner and then feels "entitled" to sex. They knew what she was when they picked her up. She told them, repeatedly. They just didn't believe it. That's their problem, not Wednesday's problem.

Enid Sinclair: Let me give you a wiki on Nevermore's social scene.
Wednesday Addams: I'm not interested in participating in tribal adolescent clichés.
Enid Sinclair: Well, then use it to fill your obviously bottomless pit of disdain.
This quote comes from a TV series ‘Wednesday’. The scene where this moment comes from is from Season 1 Episode 1, with the title of ‘Wednesday’s Child Is Full of Woe’

"I’m not interested in participating in tribal adolescent clichés."
-- Best Wednesday Quotes

Wednesday Addams: I'm not used to people engaging with me. Most see me coming and cross the street.
Tyler Galpin: You're not scary. You're just kinda... kooky.
Wednesday Addams: I prefer spooky.
This quote comes from a TV series ‘Wednesday’. The scene where this moment comes from is from Season 1 Episode 1, with the title of ‘Wednesday’s Child Is Full of Woe’

Valerie Kinbott: Wednesday, Part of the reason your parents sent you to Nevermore is so you could find your people. Become part of a larger community.
Wednesday Addams: I like being an island. A well-fortified one surrounded by sharks.
This quote comes from a TV series ‘Wednesday’. The scene where this moment comes from is from Season 1 Episode 2, with the title of ‘Woe Is the Loneliest Number’

"Friends are a liability and can be exploited. That makes them weaknesses."
-- Best Wednesday Quotes

"It’s not my fault I can’t interpret your emotional Morse code."
-- Wednesday to Tyler

Wednesday Addams: I act as if I don't care if people dislike me. Deep down... I secretly enjoy it.
The scene where this moment comes from is from Season 1 Episode 2, with the title of ‘Woe Is the Loneliest Number’

33 Hobbies For Introverts And People Who Like To Be Alone

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Don’t Expect People To Change For You

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Why Introverts Don't Consider Everyone Their Friend

Why Men Like Mysterious Women

Why We Chase People Who Don’t Want Us — The Psychology Of Romantic Obsession

Writing is Often a Solitary Experience by Susan L Stewart


So far, canon has not specified Wednesday's sexual or romantic orientation. (Her tactile orientation, however, is clearly Not A Hugger; she avoids physical contact as much as possible.) It has laid a lot of groundwork, but the pattern is not altogether consistent. First, we have Wednesday's expression of what she wants and doesn't want. She is clear and mostly consistent about that: she doesn't like people, prefers to be alone, and has no time for typical teen pursuits such as dating. She goes through the motions only if she has to or she's using it as a means to an end. Yet the show sets up multiple boys -- primarily Tyler Galpin and Xavier Thorpe -- as would-be partners.
None of these have anywhere near the energy of Wednesday's fractious relationship with her roommate Enid Sinclair. Fandom is shipping Wednesday/Enid with great enthusiasm, although the show is unlikely to follow through with that. The scriptwriters seem to have inserted obligatory boyfriend candidates because it's expected for a teen show, but Wednesday is having none of that bullshit.
Her most likely orientation seems to be aromantic asexual. However, we can't rule out demiromantic and/or demisexual because she hasn't spent enough time with anyone to activate attraction, and the boys aren't showing the kind of patience it would take to develop that anyhow. Enid is faring much better in that regard, which makes lesbianism an option. Quoiromantic (not understanding romantic attraction) and nebularomantic (unable to distinguish between romantic and platonic) are also strong possibilities. Wednesday doesn't understand why people obsess over this stuff and doesn't care. Of course, other orientations are possible; these just seem the most likely based on series canon thus far.
While the show may continue to throw boys at Wednesday out of habit, it is unlikely to ring true. If you want to ship her with someone else, there are plenty of options in canon, both male and female. You also have all the justification you need to leave her happily solitary on platonic, romantic, and/or sexual levels.

"You guys are making me nauseous. Not in a good way."
-- Wednesday Addams

"I'm not friend material, let alone more-than-friend material. I will ignore you, stomp on your heart and always put my needs and interests first."
-- Wednesday Addams to Tyler

"Because for some reason I cannot fathom or indulge, you seem to like me."
-- Wednesday to Xavier

Wednesday Addams: [to Tyler] When I came to Nevermore, romance was the last thing on my mind. But when you kissed me, you opened my eyes, and suddenly it all made sense.


An interesting question for fanwriters is how Wednesday will develop in the future. Will she stick with her loner approach, or choose to work on learning how to forge alliances? Can she stay a loner without breaking everything around her? Can she develop closer relationships without losing touch with herself? Will she settle on a specific sexual/romantic orientation, and if so what?

Finally, I have always liked Wednesday Addams, across many iterations. I've also always considered that she might be a lesbian, and even a moon lesbian -- although in a previous example, I paired her with another moon instead of a sun, and as romantic.  See "The Addams Family Reunion."  


3 Ways to Differentiate Between Love and Friendship -- wikiHow

10 Most Popular Wednesday Ships

14 Memes That May Be Painfully Relatable If You're Not a Hugger

How To Recognize And Understand Romantic Attraction

How to Write an Asexual Character

It’s Okay Not To Hug: Tips for Teens and Tweens During the Holidays

Netflix’s Wednesday series sparks debate with LGBTQ+ viewers: ‘A metaphor for people in the closet’

She's just not that into you (but you probably think she is)

Tips for Writing Realistic Aromantic Spectrum Characters

Wenclair Jealousy Moments That Prove Wednesday and Enid Are a Thing

Wenclair -- Shipping Wiki

Why the Love Triangle Doesn't Work in Netflix's 'Wednesday'

Comments

[see_also_friend]

>>The problem is worst with some of the boys, who get interested in her because of her enigmatic and aloof nature, demand her attention -- but then get hurt feelings and sulk when she continues to be her weird, introverted self instead of fawning over them like they expect.<<

Common pattern in so-called 'romance,' both on and offscreen.

>>The scriptwriters seem to have inserted obligatory boyfriend candidates because it's expected for a teen show, but Wednesday is having none of that bullshit.<<

Most people want friends or partners who enhance their life, and someone like Wednesday (who hates social stuff) wouldn't feel obligated to put up with she considers a substandard relationship dynamic. Add in that she seems to have fairly uncommon interests even for her subculture, and it isn't terribly surprising that she hasn't found many people she considers worth her time.

The whole Season 1 finale /may/ incentivize at least a few people (most notably Xavier) to be more patient with Wednesday's quirks.

Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Common pattern in so-called 'romance,' both on and offscreen.<<

I had enough of that growing up that I deliberately did things to discourage people from pestering me. Sometimes it was casual, other times it was targeted cruelty as savage as Wednesday's. Usually it worked, too.

>> Most people want friends or partners who enhance their life, <<

True. So then you have to ask, what does someone want from a relationship, what are they willing to give in exchange, and then what do they actually get? If they don't want the same things, they're not going to make each other happy. If it's not a balanced exchange, that's unlikely to work either.

>> and someone like Wednesday (who hates social stuff) wouldn't feel obligated to put up with she considers a substandard relationship dynamic. <<

So first, she needs someone who will respect her space, and second, some sort of common ground on which to set mutually gratifying activities. Wednesday and Enid don't seem to have common interests. Xavier shares her love of archery but is painfully intimidated by her superior skill. Bianca actually has two -- singing and fencing. That could be interesting to develop. Wednesday has a ton of interests, any of which could be used to connect with a new character: mechanics, foreign languages, taxidermy, etc. That's really untapped potential in the first season.

>> Add in that she seems to have fairly uncommon interests even for her subculture, and it isn't terribly surprising that she hasn't found many people she considers worth her time.<<

Exactly. *ponder* I'd expect Wednesday to share my preference for adult experts. You can learn a lot that way, if they're willing to talk to you.

>>The whole Season 1 finale /may/ incentivize at least a few people (most notably Xavier) to be more patient with Wednesday's quirks.<<

I think it really depends on them realizing how much of that comes from Wednesday being unfamiliar with social interactions and lacking some senses that most people have. They're interpreting a lot as deliberate that isn't -- though it doesn't help that some is deliberate. They need to think about what they want, and what Wednesday is willing to give. And she needs to think about whether she wants relationships, because if she does, that will require learning new skills; whereas if she doesn't, she's going to need a much bigger hammer to beat that into people's heads.

Re: Yes ...

[see_also_friend]

>>If it's not a balanced exchange, that's unlikely to work either.<<

You don't need the same type of 'stuff' given by each person in a relationship, but each person in the relationship needs to feel they are a winner (and the whole win-win thing doesn't mesh well with many modern cultural ideals.)

>>So first, she needs someone who will respect her space, and second, some sort of common ground on which to set mutually gratifying activities. Wednesday and Enid don't seem to have common interests. Xavier shares her love of archery but is painfully intimidated by her superior skill. Bianca actually has two -- singing and fencing. That could be interesting to develop. Wednesday has a ton of interests, any of which could be used to connect with a new character: mechanics, foreign languages, taxidermy, etc. That's really untapped potential in the first season.<<

Bianca actually envies Wednesday's social indifference, a bit. And I remember that her mother is being a jerk, and Wednesday has a protective streak, so that has potential for a Season Two plotline. Maybe if they start befriending each other, she and Thing could teach Bianca some sign language? (Some people like having practical stuff to do during 'social time.')

I know that Enid's boyfriend (forgot his name) didn't interact with Wednesday much in Season One, but it might be interesting to see them interact later. He seems to be the sort of guy who will be chill with getting a scary shovel talk, and he also might be the sort of guy who is smart enough to try and make a good impression on his love interest's friends. Plus if they both speak Greek...

Re: Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> You don't need the same type of 'stuff' given by each person in a relationship, but each person in the relationship needs to feel they are a winner <<

Exactly. In fact, that's where "opposites attract" makes the most sense: people with complementary strengths and weaknesses. Enid is good at interpersonal skills, Wednesday is good at intrapersonal skills, and they could learn a lot from each other that way -- if they stop expecting the other to be like them.

>> (and the whole win-win thing doesn't mesh well with many modern cultural ideals.) <<

Hence the high rate of FAIL going on everywhere from the divorce rate to the economy.

>> Bianca actually envies Wednesday's social indifference, a bit. <<

While Wednesday sometimes wishes she could care a little more. I think there's a lot of potential between these two, and the show did seem to set up Bianca as a possible key to Season 2.

>> And I remember that her mother is being a jerk, and Wednesday has a protective streak, so that has potential for a Season Two plotline.<<

Exactly.

>> Maybe if they start befriending each other, she and Thing could teach Bianca some sign language? (Some people like having practical stuff to do during 'social time.') <<

I did think of that. Thing is a perfect friend for Bianca, or any other insecure siren, because he can communicate with gestures instead of speech. Teach that to Bianca, and without using her voice, she can be completely sure that Thing actually likes her as a friend. If that's a common insecurity, then Hands and Sirens would be natural allies.

>> I know that Enid's boyfriend (forgot his name) <<

Ajax:
https://addamsfamily.fandom.com/wiki/Ajax_Petropolus

>> didn't interact with Wednesday much in Season One, but it might be interesting to see them interact later. <<

I agree. If gorgons are trained not to engage, they should be more comfortable for an introvert to be around.

But on the flip side, an extroverted gorgon would be fucking miserable in their own culture.

Ajax: "Enid, I need your help. My cousin is driving me bonkers. She's like an octopus or something. Can you take her for an hour or so and, I dunno, do girl stuff or something?"

Suppertime ...

Ajax: "Wednesday, why are you sitting in the hall outside your room? I came to get Enid for supper, is something wrong?"

Wednesday: "Enid and your weird cousin have been all over each other all afternoon. Enter at your own peril."

>> He seems to be the sort of guy who will be chill with getting a scary shovel talk, and he also might be the sort of guy who is smart enough to try and make a good impression on his love interest's friends.<<

Also true.

>> Plus if they both speak Greek...<<

That would be awesome. I'd really love to see Wednesday getting to use her linguistic abilities more often, especially as a means to connect with other people.

Re: Yes ...

[see_also_friend]

>>If that's a common insecurity, then Hands and Sirens would be natural allies.<<

I am reminded of how sincerely conservative religious* guys are sometimes nice to be around...because it is ungodly to stare at / creep on women!
*the kind who avert their eyes from unclothed elbows or whatever, not the ones who are yelling about "Put on more clothes, woman!"

>>Also true.<<

We need more stories where courtship involves making a good impression on the love interest's social circle without being creepy pr paternalistic.

Re: Yes ...

[see_also_friend]

>>I think it really depends on them realizing how much of that comes from Wednesday being unfamiliar with social interactions and lacking some senses that most people have. They're interpreting a lot as deliberate that isn't -- though it doesn't help that some is deliberate. <<

My point was more that after someone saves your life, you are likely to be at least a little more patient with their quirks. And we do see Xavier acting warmer towards her at the end of the last episode than I would have expected, especially after she broke into his studio, accused him of murder, and threatened to torture him.