Poem: "A Beautiful Reminder"
Aug. 9th, 2021 04:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem is spillover from the August 3, 2021 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from ng_moonmoth, wyld_dandelyon , and Anonymous. It also fills the "change across time" square in my 8-2-21 card for the August Intimacies Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by ng_moonmoth. It belongs to An Army of One series.
"A Beautiful Reminder"
Astin hadn't quite realized
how much latent skin hunger
xe had been building up on
xyr trading trips, until it got
downright uncomfortable.
What's worse, that tended
to stir up the touch aversion,
making a miserable combination.
It was better to deal with the need
before it built up to such extremes,
but that was easier said than done.
"I really want to get a handle on
using contact comfort," Astin said to
Palmer, "but I don't know where to start."
"Start with something simple," she said.
"Roll up your pants a little higher, or
think of one new person that you
could experiment with touching."
Astin rolled up xyr pants. "I'd
like to work up to where I could
take off as much as you do."
Palmer liked to get massages
as much as give them, and
usually wore only a tank top
and shorts when doing so.
"That's a good goal," she said.
"It took me a while to work up
to it, because of my background,
but once I did, it helped a lot."
Astin realized xe might
have underestimated
the importance of Palmer
getting touch, as well as
giving it, in their relationship.
Xe wasn't the only one with
a messed-up background,
especially in the Lacuna.
"I'm trying," Astin said, "but
everything is so confusing."
"Sometimes things aren’t clear
right away," Palmer said. "That’s
when you need to be patient
and see where things lead."
"Don't fly faster than your sensors
can scan ahead," Astin agreed.
"All right, that makes sense."
"Pull it apart if you can,"
said Palmer. "When do you
have the most problems?"
"When I'm out in space,
and then when I'm in with
a crowd of people pressing
against me," Astin said.
"Ah, there's an idea,"
Palmer said brightly.
"We could work on this
while you're traveling
on your trade routes."
"How can we work on
touch when we're in
totally different places?"
Astin asked. "I'm not
into the techno stuff."
"We can work our way
to physical intimacy by
building emotional intimacy,"
Palmer explained. "Talking
through the ciphernet is
one option. You could also
take off your clothes on video
when I'm safely out of reach."
"I like that idea," Astin said instantly.
"Long-distance relationships are nice
because then nobody can grab me.
I feel safer with people I know
than with people I don't, too."
"Then this has a good chance
of working," Palmer said. "We'll
get to know each other more,
and that may help you lower
your boundaries as you wish."
"You're that sure you don't
mind helping?" Astin said.
"I don't want to be a bother.
Long-distance relationships
can be time-consuming."
"Distance between two hearts
is not an obstacle," Palmer said.
"It is a beautiful reminder of how
strong friendship and love can be."
"Thanks," Astin said. "Shall we
trade backrubs before I have to go?"
"Oh yes, let's do that," Palmer said.
They had, over time, progressed from
touching only bare skin to touching
some of the covered areas, and
it was interesting to compare
the sensations between them.
Astin enjoyed touching Palmer
as much as her touching xyr.
Xe wasn't sure how much,
how soon, xe would feel
comfortable wearing
less clothing with her,
but it would be interesting
to explore the possibilities.
When they finished exchanging
backrubs, Astin sat up with a sigh.
"It almost seems a shame to say
goodbye now, when we're making
so much progress," xe said, "but
I have commitments to keep."
"Goodbyes are only for those who
love with their eyes," Palmer replied.
"For those who love with heart and soul
there is no such thing as separation."
Well, that was true. For people
who based relationships on sex,
distance was a devastating barrier.
For people who based theirs on
other things, though, it didn't
have to be, and could even be
an asset as Astin mentioned.
Xe looked forward to seeing
how xyr relationship with Palmer
would continue to change over time.
* * *
Notes:
Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be."
-- Author Unknown
"Sometimes things aren’t clear right away. That’s where you need to be patient and persevere and see where things lead."
-- Mary Pierce
"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation."
-- Rumi
Skin hunger and touch aversion can combine in unpleasant ways. It helps to create safe space and build trust.
A long-distance relationship is anything where you can't drop by on a whim, and the separation impacts the interactions between people. This is a lot harder in relationships based on sex than those based on other things. Here are some tips for dealing with long-distance relationships, including QUILTBAG ones. Use dates and other activities to maintain connections.
ng_moonmoth, wyld_dandelyon , and Anonymous. It also fills the "change across time" square in my 8-2-21 card for the August Intimacies Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by ng_moonmoth. It belongs to An Army of One series. "A Beautiful Reminder"
Astin hadn't quite realized
how much latent skin hunger
xe had been building up on
xyr trading trips, until it got
downright uncomfortable.
What's worse, that tended
to stir up the touch aversion,
making a miserable combination.
It was better to deal with the need
before it built up to such extremes,
but that was easier said than done.
"I really want to get a handle on
using contact comfort," Astin said to
Palmer, "but I don't know where to start."
"Start with something simple," she said.
"Roll up your pants a little higher, or
think of one new person that you
could experiment with touching."
Astin rolled up xyr pants. "I'd
like to work up to where I could
take off as much as you do."
Palmer liked to get massages
as much as give them, and
usually wore only a tank top
and shorts when doing so.
"That's a good goal," she said.
"It took me a while to work up
to it, because of my background,
but once I did, it helped a lot."
Astin realized xe might
have underestimated
the importance of Palmer
getting touch, as well as
giving it, in their relationship.
Xe wasn't the only one with
a messed-up background,
especially in the Lacuna.
"I'm trying," Astin said, "but
everything is so confusing."
"Sometimes things aren’t clear
right away," Palmer said. "That’s
when you need to be patient
and see where things lead."
"Don't fly faster than your sensors
can scan ahead," Astin agreed.
"All right, that makes sense."
"Pull it apart if you can,"
said Palmer. "When do you
have the most problems?"
"When I'm out in space,
and then when I'm in with
a crowd of people pressing
against me," Astin said.
"Ah, there's an idea,"
Palmer said brightly.
"We could work on this
while you're traveling
on your trade routes."
"How can we work on
touch when we're in
totally different places?"
Astin asked. "I'm not
into the techno stuff."
"We can work our way
to physical intimacy by
building emotional intimacy,"
Palmer explained. "Talking
through the ciphernet is
one option. You could also
take off your clothes on video
when I'm safely out of reach."
"I like that idea," Astin said instantly.
"Long-distance relationships are nice
because then nobody can grab me.
I feel safer with people I know
than with people I don't, too."
"Then this has a good chance
of working," Palmer said. "We'll
get to know each other more,
and that may help you lower
your boundaries as you wish."
"You're that sure you don't
mind helping?" Astin said.
"I don't want to be a bother.
Long-distance relationships
can be time-consuming."
"Distance between two hearts
is not an obstacle," Palmer said.
"It is a beautiful reminder of how
strong friendship and love can be."
"Thanks," Astin said. "Shall we
trade backrubs before I have to go?"
"Oh yes, let's do that," Palmer said.
They had, over time, progressed from
touching only bare skin to touching
some of the covered areas, and
it was interesting to compare
the sensations between them.
Astin enjoyed touching Palmer
as much as her touching xyr.
Xe wasn't sure how much,
how soon, xe would feel
comfortable wearing
less clothing with her,
but it would be interesting
to explore the possibilities.
When they finished exchanging
backrubs, Astin sat up with a sigh.
"It almost seems a shame to say
goodbye now, when we're making
so much progress," xe said, "but
I have commitments to keep."
"Goodbyes are only for those who
love with their eyes," Palmer replied.
"For those who love with heart and soul
there is no such thing as separation."
Well, that was true. For people
who based relationships on sex,
distance was a devastating barrier.
For people who based theirs on
other things, though, it didn't
have to be, and could even be
an asset as Astin mentioned.
Xe looked forward to seeing
how xyr relationship with Palmer
would continue to change over time.
* * *
Notes:
Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be."
-- Author Unknown
"Sometimes things aren’t clear right away. That’s where you need to be patient and persevere and see where things lead."
-- Mary Pierce
"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation."
-- Rumi
Skin hunger and touch aversion can combine in unpleasant ways. It helps to create safe space and build trust.
A long-distance relationship is anything where you can't drop by on a whim, and the separation impacts the interactions between people. This is a lot harder in relationships based on sex than those based on other things. Here are some tips for dealing with long-distance relationships, including QUILTBAG ones. Use dates and other activities to maintain connections.
On showing more skin
Date: 2021-08-10 09:26 pm (UTC)Re: On showing more skin
Date: 2021-08-10 10:56 pm (UTC)* how Astin feels about xyr own body
* how Astin feels about Palmer and her gender-respect
* the balance of skin-hunger and touch-aversion left over from previous experience
* how much touch Astin wants, especially skin-on-skin, and how much xyr own issues get in the way of that, making those issues something to work through.
While I doubt that Astin wants to show off xyr body in general, I think that xe would prefer to have more free choice about what to cover or uncover in various situations, rather than feeling controlled by issues and emotions.