Poem: "Stick Like Glue"

[ysabetwordsmith]

This poem came out of the December 4, 2018 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired and sponsored by ng_moonmoth. It also fills the "relaxation" square in my 12-1-18 card for the Summer in December fest. This poem belongs to the Calliope thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.


"Stick Like Glue"

[Friday, June 20, 2014]

"Do you sell glue by the gallon?"
Vagary asked, leaning on the counter.

"Yes, we do -- wait, what are you
doing here?" Calvin hissed.

Vagary flinched away.
"Buying glue?" he said.
"Never mind ... I can
go somewhere else."

He had forgotten that Calvin
worked here, because Vagary had
only been to the store a few times, and
Calvin didn't look the same as Calliope.

The bond was wiggling around them
like a dog wagging its tail, though.

"Oh," Calvin said. "I'm sorry.
If you really came here to buy
glue, then I can help you."

"Yes, please," said Vagary.

"May I ask what project you have
in mind? That affects the kind
of glue you need," said Calvin.

"It's not for me," Vagary said. "I have
a list, though. I need at least clear glue
and white glue by the gallon, preferably
several brands with different ingredients,
and an assortment of glue sticks too."

"Okay, let's hit the adhesives aisle,"
Calvin said. "Grab a cart, you'll need it."

Vagary grabbed one of the sturdy carts
meant for large or heavy items. He knew
that water weighed eight pounds a gallon,
so glue probably weighed at least that much.

He hurried to catch up with Calvin.

It felt weird, in a way, because
most of the time they spent
together, Cal was Calliope.

Vagary couldn't help feeling
like he had gotten sucked into
some weird alternate reality.

This was part of Cal too, though,
even if it was a messed-up part.
Calvin lay behind everything
that Calliope had become.

Maybe Vagary couldn't really
know her without knowing him.

"Down here!" Calvin waved at
Vagary from the adhesives aisle.
"You want white, clear, or colors?"

"I'd like an assortment, please,"
Vagary said. "Different chemicals
may create different results."

"Okay, great," said Calvin.
"We have white and clear in
gallon jugs. We also have
a few colors for making crafts
like slime or calming jars."

"Oh, that's perfect!" Vagary said.
"I'm shopping for a guy who wants
to make animated calming jars."

"Animated how, like magnetic
or something?" Calvin asked.

"I don't know, maybe?" Vagary said.
"The shopping list doesn't tell that."

"Well, we have magnetic glitter
and other trick supplies if you
want," Calvin suggested.

"Sure, why not," Vagary said.
"It's a science lab, somebody's
bound to find a use for the stuff."

"Great, we'll hit the glitter aisle
next," Calvin said. "Meanwhile,
how much glue do you need?"

"Let's see, six gallons white and
six gallons clear, either two or three
different brands," Vagary read aloud.
"Add two gallons of each colored glue
that comes in containers that size."

"Got 'em," Calvin said. Muscles
rippled as he swung the jugs
into Vagary's shopping cart.
"What about glue sticks? We
have a school pack, all colors."

"Toss some in the cart," Vagary said.
Then he spied packs of glitter glue pens
and threw in several of those too. "Okay,
that should do it for glue. You mentioned
something about an aisle full of glitter?"

"Glitter, sequins, mirror tiles, and
other sparkly things are over here,"
Calvin said, leading him onward.

As advertised, the whole aisle
glimmered with light and color.

"Woah," Vagary said. "Coooool."

Calvin grinned at him. "Yeah,
the tweens go nuts in here,
even some of the boys."

Vagary made approving noises
as he pored over the merchandise.
"Magnetic dust, opalescent powder,
mega-glitter, laser shimmer sequins ...
temperature-sensitive color-changing dust?"

"Oh, we got it all," Calvin said. "Some of
this is basic stuff, some does science tricks.
What do you think your friend would like?"

"All of it," Vagary said, slowly rotating.
"We could make so many things with this.
Not just the new calming jars, if they work,
but tried-and-true things like fidget slime."

"I am all in favor of helping supervillains
find their quiet place," Calvin whispered.

"Yeah, me too," Vagary said. "Gods know
we need all the help that we can get."

"Well, what's your budget?" Calvin said.
"I can help you pick a representative set."

"I ah ... don't really have one," Vagary said.
Shyly he pulled out the Emerald Card that
he'd been given. Greenbucks made those
from actual lab-grown emerald wafers, issued
exclusively to their largest account holders.
"He just said 'get glue,' and I thought, since
I was in the neighborhood, this place might
have the kind of stuff that I needed?"

"We certainly do," Calvin said. "Okay,
let me grab some empty boxes. We can
get a couple jars each of all the good stuff,
and loosely sort them by product type."

"That sounds great," Vagary said,
and so they went to work on it.

They filled a box each with
magnetic dust, glow dust,
photochromic pigments,
three different sizes of glitter,
sequins both plain and shaped,
and the temperature-sensitive dust.

"All right, I think that does it,"
Calvin said, putting the last box
into the cart. "Unless you have
anything else your shopping list?"

Vagary checked the list, then said,
"I'm good." He looked at the cart
full of shimmering loot. "I am
totally putting in for a shift as
a lab assistant just so I get
to play with some of this stuff."

"You do that?" Calvin said,
giving him a sidelong glance.

"I do all kinds of work," Vagary said
pushing the cart toward the registers.
"Right now, I'm trying to cut down
on the ... uh, shadier stuff. So I do
shopping runs and such. I know
my way around a lab, at least
enough not to set it on fire."

"That sounds interesting,"
Calvin said. "I like working
here because the materials are
fun, but it's not that exciting."

"I beg to differ," Vagary said,
rapping his knuckles on a box.
"Anyhow, I like switching around
and learning new things. Some
of them I forget a week later, but
others stick like glue, and I never
seem to know which will do what."

"People can be the same way,"
Calvin said. Their hands brushed
as they started unloading the cart.
"You can't tell who will blow in and
out of your life or who will stay."

"Yeah, that's true too," Vagary said.
He'd had plenty of each in his time.

Cal might rearrange his reality on
a regular basis, but even so, Vagary was
pretty sure that he came out the better for it.

Now if only Cal agreed with that assessment.

"You sure have plenty of new things to try,"
Calvin said as he rang the merchandise
through. "I hope you have fun with them."

"I'm just grateful I finished shopping
before the store closed," Vagary said,
looking out at the gathering shadows.

"Oh, you have plenty of time left
before ..." Calvin's voice trailed away.

"What?" Vagary asked, worried.

"Wow, my shift ended ten minutes ago,"
Calvin said. "I didn't even notice."

"Sorry about that," Vagary said
with a wince. "I'll make it up to you?
We could go catch dinner somewhere."

They were supposed to spend time
together for the sake of therapy, and
hadn't put in their hour this week.

Calvin hesitated, then said,
"Sure, why not ... but I don't
want to stop too close to here.
I eat at the nearby ones too often."

"What about Cattle Platter?"
Vagary said as he bagged things
and put them back into the cart.
He'd never get all the stuff out to
his campervan without it. "You like it,
and there's a new Thai ice cream place
next to it that we could hit for dessert."

"Is that stuff any good?" Calvin said.
"The pictures on the window look weird."

"You've never tried Thai ice cream?"
Vagary said, grinning. He handed
the Emerald Card over to Calvin.
"Oh wow, are you ever in for a treat!
It has fresh fruit and everything."

"Yeah, but is it really worth paying
the price of a whole carton for
just one serving?" Calvin said.

"You will get your money's worth
just watching them make it,"
Vagary promised as he put
the card away. "Come on,
I'll buy dessert. No risk."

"All right, you got me,"
Calvin said. "Let me
go clock out of here."

"Sure," Vagary said.
"I'll be loading this stuff
into my campervan."

Outside, the summer evening
was warm and pleasant, with
a turquoise sky just starting
to turn colors in the west.

Soft shadows spread over
the parking lot like dark scarves
lost by children during play.

It was a perfect time for
eating ice cream, and Vagary
looked forward to introducing
Calvin to the joys of Thai ice cream.

Vagary hefted his purchases
into the campervan, now and then
glancing over his shoulder as he did so.

It seemed a little easier to get along
with Calvin than it had with Calliope.

Maybe he was imagining it.

Then again, maybe it was
because Vagary had not
royally fucked up with Calvin
the way he had with Calliope.

They weren't different people,
not quite, but Cal had mentioned
having different tastes when
male than when female.

Maybe that carried over
to people and relationships
as well as food and clothes.

If that was true, perhaps
they could relax around
each other, at least a little.

It'd be nice, wouldn't it ...

Cicadas sang in the trees while
Vagary stuffed in the last few boxes
and then closed the campervan.

The fireflies were coming out,
too, though they were still visible
more as dark spots in the air
than when they actually lit up.

Golden light spilled out of
the store across the parking lot
as Vagary pushed the empty cart
to the nearest return corral.

Calvin strolled toward him, and
for a moment Vagary's heart
ached to find that easy grace
with Calliope now that he had
somehow found it with Calvin.

"Ready to go?" Calvin asked
as he came up to the campervan.

"Yeah, hop in," Vagary said.
He would hold onto what peace
he could find, for as long as he could.

Who knows, maybe it would stick.

* * *

Notes:

Glue comes in many kinds. Some, like clear school glue, are readily available by the gallon. Others mostly come in small containers like glitter glue pens. There are craft projects for plain and glitter glue. You can make your own colored or glitter glue.

Calming jars can have all kinds of fillers that are fun to watch as they settle. Compare a basic recipe with some science experiment variations. Here are even more recipes.

Glue sticks also come in assorted styles. Most are white or clear, but you can find some colored ones. Combine a glue stick, heavy paper, and random small objects to make an activity bin. Learn how to make your own colored glue sticks.

Calculate the weight of water, typically just over 8 pounds per gallon.

(Warning: addictive craft supplies ahead!)
Craft stores in Terramagne have more interesting products compared to here. I did find some of the cooler examples online, but these are harder to find in local stores. Check out the magnetic glitter dust, chameleon flakes, glow dust, photochromic pigments, and exotic types of glitter.

Finding your quiet place can refer to a physical location, one you create, or a state of mind. Peace and quiet have many benefits. When supervillains find theirs, lots of other people enjoy the benefits too.

An Emerald Card is a Greenbucks card made out of actual lab-grown emerald. They're only available to the biggest account holders.

Thai ice cream is made by pouring ice cream batter onto a coldplate and mixing it around until frozen, then spreading it thin and scraping it into rolls. You can make it with junk like candy, or wholesome ingredients like fresh fruit. Choose from an assortment of fun toppings like toasted marshmallow or pocky sticks. (Things that turn hard when frozen, like M&Ms or gummies, are not as good.) There are ways to fake it at home. But if you get a chance at the real thing, grab it. Vagary is right about how watching them make it is worth the price all by itself.

Fireflies come out and blink anywhere from late afternoon to early evening, and stay on for a few hours. Just listening to the cicadas in that video makes it feel like summer, too.

Gender-variant people may have different feelings en femme and en homme.

Comments

[alatefeline]

This ... is very strange. Very good, but very strange.

I think I'm projecting one-person-I-know's feelings of agonizing discomfort (at best) when misgendered because I've been the emotional support for the aftermath of that button getting hit a lot of times, and that's the source of the sense of dissonance I had reading this poem that mostly goes away when I think about it more analytically. Because when I think about other transfolk I know, there's a lot more variation in how they feel about presenting as their assigned gender. One person remarked that it makes her feel safe and in control when she is perceived as 'boring cis guy, nothing to see here, move along' and wants privacy about revealing any of her real self. I'm so far towards the agender corner of genderqueer, in my Aspie way, that I don't quite grok what someone might get out of Being A Gender as opposed to Playing A Character With An Outfit, but I know there are genderfluid people who need and want to express aspects of themselves that correlate strongly with more than one gender. It's fascinating to see how Calvin is both not-a-different-person and not-quite-the-same-person as Calliope. Unlike Vagary, though, I'd probably be a lot more comfortable hanging out with Calliope.

I'd be fascinated to see Calliope ... well, Cal ... finding or creating a different identity-facet. If she had to do some work remotely over the Internet ... say, if Kraken needed wether-control somewhere they couldn't physically get Cal to, but had a handy telepresence robot ... might e present a non-gendered Cal*? There's still a lot of possible names that begin with that syllable, and not all of them are binary-gendered. I think it's clear to me both that Calliope is closer to the center of who Cal is, but also that Calvin is still important and not just a disguise, and I'm just thinking about the line 'additional shapes may be gained' from the character description.

Also, I waaaaaant to hang out in that lab and glue ALL THE THINGS.

Experience vs Performance

[ng_moonmoth]

>> I don't quite grok what someone might get out of Being A Gender as opposed to Playing A Character With An Outfit <<

Let me take a shot from my own gender(queer) perspective, which has led me into a good deal of study here. I'll try to stay on topic, even though I might wind up rambling.

Your association of gender with cosplay ("Playing A Character With An Outfit") is quite accurate. Even supposedly gender-normative people often wind up performing certain aspects of their gender. So, regarding gender, even though not very many people talk about it, and many people go through life completely unaware of it, there is a distinction between what one does (expression) and who one is (identity). How much effort the expression is depends on how well-aligned one's expression is with one's identity, and how facile a performer someone is.

Measuring how much of this effort someone is expending appears to be a central human trait, as is favoring those whose expression does not seem to require much of this effort. So, broadly, the benefit of having a gender that one can Be is that one does not need to work as hard to affirm one's gender, and other people notice this and respond favorably.

The degree of importance of expression is culturally highly variable. hrj has written a lot of interesting posts that reveal how this has changed through history. Layered on top of that is that expression can provide both intrinsic ("this expression affirms my own identity") and extrinsic ("others' interaction with me when I am expressing myself this way affirms my identity") support. The relative values of those kinds of support are personal and wide-ranging.

OK, now I'll have a go at unpacking "Playing a Character With An Outfit". The tricky part is that there are actually (at least) three parts to this two-part-looking phrase, and they all influence the result. "Playing a Character" lines up with presentation: how one interacts with, and reacts to, others. Two categories I include in the "Outfit" are transient factors (things like clothing, accessories, hair style, cosmetics, etc.) which can be readily changed, and durable factors (like "public" body characteristics [I use "morphology"] and "private" body characteristics [I use "episiology"]). Then one could put things like tattoos and piercings somewhere in between. And there's a lot of often heated discussion about what to do about hormonal and surgical interventions used to modify durable factors. No matter how one breaks things down, the outfit definitely interacts with the presentation, most often unfavorably.

Now here's how I boil it all down these days. Everyone has a gender identity. Everyone's gender identity is different. Some gender identities cluster. Expressions that typically do not require much effort for people in a gender cluster are frequently culturally affirmed, and used to evaluate people for inclusion in, and rank within, that cluster. This process creates and defines a gender within a culture. Those expressions that align with someone's gender identity create a more direct experience than those that align less well and require performance to create an experience that winds up being filtered through the performance.

Re: Experience vs Performance

[alatefeline]

*thunderous applause*

I feel humbled by this extraordinary and superbly thorough explanation. Thank you for getting me up to speed on some terminology. <3 <3 <3

Re: Experience vs Performance

[ng_moonmoth]

*blushes*

Glad you liked it. Hope it helped.

Re: Experience vs Performance

[alatefeline]

Yes indeed!

Re: Experience vs Performance

[zeeth_kyrah]

Thank you for this explanation.

Re: Experience vs Performance

[ng_moonmoth]

You're welcome.

Please keep in mind that my word is by no means authoritative on this. It's just a personal expression of how I'm experiencing gender and some related topics right now. Something tricky that constantly pops up when discussing this topic is that how one experiences gender is part of one's gender identity. So if there's anything that seems it doesn't quite fit, it's likely your gender identity informing you of that, and it's worth a bit of thinking about. Same thing if you read something on the topic that doesn't line up with your impressions.

That's the most important thing for me: that we all understand that gender is something that actually needs to be thought about, not just taken for granted. So far, it's working for me. If this attitude became commonplace, I suspect there'd be a lot less gender-driven hurt and hatred in the world.

Re: Experience vs Performance

[ysabetwordsmith]

Please keep in mind that my word is by no means authoritative on this. It's just a personal expression of how I'm experiencing gender and some related topics right now. <<

Well, it's a lot more authoritative than cisgender people writing about gender questioning or gender variation. Everyone has to find their own way, but hearing from other travelers can help a lot.

>>That's the most important thing for me: that we all understand that gender is something that actually needs to be thought about, not just taken for granted. <<

If only. So many people find that the prescribed version fits "close enough" that they don't realize gender is customizable, and then they try to force everyone into that no matter how badly it fits. To say nothing of the agender folks being told they must have a gender, which is like telling nudists they're not really naked. 0_o

Re: Experience vs Performance

[ng_moonmoth]

>> So many people find that the prescribed version fits "close enough" that they don't realize gender is customizable <<

Reminds me of cars. (I've been trying since you posted this comment to expand that analogy into an actual piece on How Gender Identity Resembles Cars, but I don't think I want to whack that piece as it stands now with a big enough hammer to get the analogy to fit.) Almost everyone is content to find whatever they can on the lot and drive it off without tweaking it -- or, for that matter, even changing the look beyond slapping an occasional decal or bumper sticker on it.

Never mind if a hot rod, or a lowrider, or a kit car, or an art car, would be the thing that's actually right for them. Frequently, they don't care to deal with the scrutiny driving around in something like that brings.

>> and then they try to force everyone into that no matter how badly it fits. <<

Much like the derision and exclusion many people express at the owners of cars that are radically different from the norm. Me, I appreciate that someone chooses to express themselves that way, and values that expression to spend significant amounts of time and money on it. Beats all to heck the folks who give priority to something that expresses the image they want to project, as opposed to who they actually are.

Re: Experience vs Performance

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Never mind if a hot rod, or a lowrider, or a kit car, or an art car, would be the thing that's actually right for them. Frequently, they don't care to deal with the scrutiny driving around in something like that brings.<<

More to the point, only well-to-do people can afford that. Around here, only people like doctors and lawyers can routinely afford a new car at all. Most people buy used because it's all they can have.

When modifying your body costs more money than a year's pay, most people are also stuck with whatever they have -- and that's a leading cause of the high suicide rate in transfolk.

>>Much like the derision and exclusion many people express at the owners of cars that are radically different from the norm. <<

It would never occur to me to judge someone by their car, because I don't connect people with cars. The most I'll do is admire an unusual shape or color, but that's usually on the road or in a parking lot.

Re: Experience vs Performance

[ng_moonmoth]

>> More to the point, only well-to-do people can afford that. <<

Not necessarily. I have talked with a few people who drive art cars; they're fundamentally artists, and that's what drives them. The commonly associated adjective, "starving", is pretty close to defining their income stream, and a lot of their tricking-out is done on the cheap via dumpster rejects and thrift-store purchases. A documentary I saw, exploring lowrider culture, reveals a similar approach. These pretty much aren't high-income people (being overwhelmingly Latino, at least around here, doesn't help much there), but they put every penny they can spare into their cars because it's something they can do to proclaim and share their identity while getting in the face of a culture that often scorns them.

I've also got a couple of friends who bought used cars and are slowly modding them to fit their needs better as income permits. So, from my perspective, there doesn't appear to be a particularly strong linkage between income and desire to modify one's ride. In fact, it often seems to go the other way: better-off people risk more by being "different", and are consequently less likely to do it.

I realized there's another factor at play here, too. If you don't own the place where you live, your ability to do things to the place is limited and not particularly under your control. Plus, your space for other things by which you might express your identity is also limited. A car you own is unconditionally yours, and a portable form of expression.

>> Most people buy used because it's all they can have. <<

*sigh* Yet another example of short-term thinking driven (or forced) by one's income being far too close to that required to cover basic needs. siderea recently wrote an excellent essay on why a $200 pair of boots that will last for twenty winters is a much better use of money than buying $20 pairs of boots that one has to replace after each winter because they have fallen apart -- and why this isn't often done.

Cars are the same way. If one can buy a new car for cash, with an eye toward having it for a long time, and treat it and maintain it well so it will last that long time, the annual cost can be quite favorable. The car I had before the one I own now I bought for cash, and lasted nearly twenty-five years before a maintenance threshold and tightening emission control standards made it uneconomical to keep roadworthy -- but also made it so that the state would buy it to get it off the road. Net purchase cost on the car, divided by years of ownership, was less than $500 per year. It was having the cash at hand that made it possible for me to do that.

>> When modifying your body costs more money than a year's pay, most people are also stuck with whatever they have -- and that's a leading cause of the high suicide rate in transfolk. <<

Yep. A couple of my trans friends endured jobs they weren't a good fit at all for, and hostility from managers and coworkers, for the sake of insurance that covered enough of the relevant surgery to make it financially possible. This is also not good.

Fortunately, there's a small but growing number of gender-aware people in the world, who understand that body shape of any sort does not determine one's gender, and that everyone has their own contextual way of expressing (or suppressing) their gender identity. Providing gender cues by behavior (free) or clothing etc. (doesn't have to cost a lot) can go a long way in such an environment.

>> It would never occur to me to judge someone by their car, because I don't connect people with cars. <<

And you aren't like very many people. No surprise there. But when I look at car advertisements, in whatever form, I am struck by how so much of it is about image. Apparently this works well, or there would be more advertising focusing on other things. So there's a whole lot of people in the world who buy their cars based on image, and expect that other people are doing the same thing. And if their image of who would own a vehicle like one they see isn't one they care for, will share that with others. I've been around conversations like that.

Nowadays, when I see someone driving something out of context, I just cue Rich Fantasy Lives, and don't spend much time harshing on them for maybe being a poseur.

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>This ... is very strange. Very good, but very strange.<<

I'm glad it got you thinking.

>> I think I'm projecting one-person-I-know's feelings of agonizing discomfort (at best) when misgendered because I've been the emotional support for the aftermath of that button getting hit a lot of times, and that's the source of the sense of dissonance I had reading this poem that mostly goes away when I think about it more analytically.<<

That can happen.

>> Because when I think about other transfolk I know, there's a lot more variation in how they feel about presenting as their assigned gender. <<

There really is. Some seem able to switch between presentations more or less fluently, and may wind up identifying as genderfluid. Others feel so strongly identified with one gender that the other is miserable for them. Cal seems to be somewhere between the two. Demonstrably MTF, much happier as Calliope ... yet unwilling to give up Calvin, at least so far. Not my business, but like Vagary, I worry a little because maintaining a masculine front is obviously a lot of work.

>> One person remarked that it makes her feel safe and in control when she is perceived as 'boring cis guy, nothing to see here, move along' and wants privacy about revealing any of her real self. <<

There is that.

>> I'm so far towards the agender corner of genderqueer, in my Aspie way, that I don't quite grok what someone might get out of Being A Gender as opposed to Playing A Character With An Outfit, but I know there are genderfluid people who need and want to express aspects of themselves that correlate strongly with more than one gender. <<

Being a gender is peaceful and comfortable. Pretending to be a gender is hard work at best, and soul-destroying at worst. Even if it's a gender you enjoy playing, you have to do a bunch of stuff very differently than normal -- although apparently some people do find crossdressing to be relaxing, so go figure.

>> It's fascinating to see how Calvin is both not-a-different-person and not-quite-the-same-person as Calliope. <<

I feel the same way about it. Some of the shifts are physical -- a male body and a female body have different shapes, hormones, etc. and that can create different preferences. The social dynamics may differ, and some genderfluid people mention that they relate to people in different ways when en femme than when en homme. I suspect for Cal and Vagary, there's a half-step of remove with Calvin that makes it easier to deal with Vagary because it was Calliope who got caught in the major tangles.

>> Unlike Vagary, though, I'd probably be a lot more comfortable hanging out with Calliope. <<

*looks at superhera* *looks at guy who works in craft store* ... I might go with Calvin, for fun, although I could talk gender activism with Calliope.

Re: Thank you!

[ng_moonmoth]

>> Being a gender is peaceful and comfortable. Pretending to be a gender is hard work at best, and soul-destroying at worst. Even if it's a gender you enjoy playing, you have to do a bunch of stuff very differently than normal -- although apparently some people do find crossdressing to be relaxing, so go figure. <<

Some of this differs substantially from my experience, and the experiences of others I know, and more whose stories I have read.

I suspect those experiences are already things you are aware of and understand well, and preaching to the choir to many of your readers, but I believe there is value in having them available to those who find this post and do not have as thorough a background as those of us who deal with, and in many cases live with, these issues.

Because I didn't feel comfortable putting my thoughts on this in your comments without content warnings, I put up a post in my own blog (CW: gender-driven violence, death) with my comments on the subject. I will gladly copy over anything you are comfortable with having posted here.

Re: Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

I based my answer on (variously) wanting to cover different bases than other answers, my experiences, things I've read about other people's experiences, and especially an awareness of Prolonged Adaptation Stress Syndrome. I should have stipulated that gender experiences vary widely.

You can copy your answer here if you wish, but I think having the link covers it -- and like you said, allows a warning function.

Re: Thank you!

[ng_moonmoth]

Thanks for the clarification. I think the motivation for my response was less about gender experiences varying, and more about what looked like just rainbows and unicorns, with no mention of the clouds and dragon shrimp -- let alone how soul-destroying it gets if you're a unicorn, and someone mistakes you for a horse and hitches you to a plow.

But yeah, to your point, I agree that it's much better when unicorns can stop pretending they're horses, and get out there and chase those rainbows. Despite the clouds and dragon shrimp.

Re: Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

Gender experiences can also be super confusing and sometimes very unhappy. However, in my observation, they get a lot less confusing and unhappy when you stop trying to fake it and start being yourself -- even if it takes you a while to figure out what that is and how to do it. At least you're not purposely going the wrong way any more.

That's what worries me a bit about Cal still presenting as Calvin a lot of the time. Cal already knows that cismale is not the accurate identity. Pretending to be something you're not takes effort. But then again, maybe Cal is getting something out of it or wouldn't still be doing it now that there's another option.

One thing gender isn't: simple.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I'd be fascinated to see Calliope ... well, Cal ... finding or creating a different identity-facet. <<

That could be fun.

>> If she had to do some work remotely over the Internet ... say, if Kraken needed wether-control somewhere they couldn't physically get Cal to, but had a handy telepresence robot ... might e present a non-gendered Cal*? <<

I don't think Cal can project at a distance like that, but might be able to shapeshift into a neuter form. Hasn't happened yet, but I suspect that the shapeshifting might be able to do more than gender. It was just the most desperately needed thing at the time, you know?

>> There's still a lot of possible names that begin with that syllable, and not all of them are binary-gendered.<<

I'm wanting to say Calyx for that. :D

>> I think it's clear to me both that Calliope is closer to the center of who Cal is, but also that Calvin is still important and not just a disguise, and I'm just thinking about the line 'additional shapes may be gained' from the character description.<<

The original idea was that Calvin became the disguise, because who would suspect a superhera of having a male secret identity? But I think he's realer than Cal necessarily meant. It's very complicated.

>> Also, I waaaaaant to hang out in that lab and glue ALL THE THINGS.<<

LOL me too. They sent Vagary out for gallons of glue, and he came back with that plus pounds of sparkle. They were planning to make calming jars. Next thing you know, that lab will be crawling with supervillains and minions gluing things together, mixing random chemicals, and next thing you know, they'll have invented animated, thermotropic glue that acts like slime mold or something.

I love my supervillains. They are so fucking adorable.

After many readings

[dialecticdreamer]

I have decided that I would LOVE Vagary's current job.

Re: After many readings

[ysabetwordsmith]

Oddjobbing for supervillains in general, or shopping for them in particular? :D

He really does have a non-standard risk assessment. One of the scenes I'd love to catch is the aftermath of some weapons/armor testing.

Re: After many readings

[dialecticdreamer]

Shopping. Odd things like "all the glue types you've got."

Re: After many readings

[zeeth_kyrah]

Magnetic glitter alone has so much potential, too! Targeted glitter bombs, for instance.

Maybe edible/biodegradable glitter would be an awesome trick to use as well.

Re: After many readings

[kengr]

edible glitter that changes color if [drug] is in a drink.

Ooo! Even better. It glows or something and the reaction is powered by converting the drug to something harmless.

Now picturing the look on the face of the guy who's about to be "invited to the world" by the bouncers when the drink he just doctored starts glowing and foaming. <eg>

Re: After many readings

[ysabetwordsmith]

Now imagine him trying to get those jeans off after Shiv welded all the fastenings.

LOL not sorry.

Re: After many readings

[kengr]

I'm imagining what *Lucy* could do to his *underwear*, much less his jeans.

Re: After many readings

[ysabetwordsmith]

I imagine that would take his mind off sex for quite a while. :D

Re: After many readings

[mdlbear]

*chuckle*

Re: After many readings

[ysabetwordsmith]

A limitation of edible/biodegradable glitter is that it tends to dissolve when wet. Fine on dry goods like cookies, but not in suspension.

Re: After many readings

[zeeth_kyrah]

All the better for testing drinks, yes? And there are formulations that don't have to dissolve right away.

Re: After many readings

[ysabetwordsmith]

Good for testing drinks, not so much for calming jars.

[ravan]

So, when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping... with an Emerald card. And glue is such a sticky subject.

*laugh*

[ysabetwordsmith]

Yeah, once you open the glue, you never know what will get stuck to you.

Superpowers can be like that too.

[lone_cat]

How big of a purchase is that compared to what the store usually sees, and how often does it see a purchase on that scale? Would the store's record's show how payment was made, or just the amount?

Well ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> How big of a purchase is that compared to what the store usually sees, <<

Much, much bigger. Most of the time people come into craft stores to buy one or a few things. Serious mavens can rack up $50-100.

>> and how often does it see a purchase on that scale? <<

Probably once or twice a month on average, when a teacher comes in for a major stockup. Numbers would skew upward in August (back to school) and November (holiday shopping) though.

>> Would the store's record's show how payment was made, or just the amount? <<

Just the amount if it's cash or cash equivalents like Greenbucks. Credit cards, checks, etc. leave a trail.

Re: Well ...

[lone_cat]

I was trying to think of how likely it is that this will be Noticed and Remembered.

Re: Well ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

Likely if anyone else saw him hauling a whole cart full of stuff. It happens periodically, so it's not a shock, but they do try to take extra good care of the heavy shoppers.

Re: Well ...

[(Anonymous)]

I work in a craft store. Most of the year, purchases range from a few things to occasional $40-50 at once.* Someone who is buying for an organization or fancy event (adult daycare, wedding) may buy $100-200 at a time. The really big spenders are the summer camps, but only in early summer.
*Christmas season purchases are $50-70 and below, but it isn't unusual to go to $100+.
I suspect this takes place in the slow season (Feb to July) because no one fusses or interrupts while Cal is helping a customer for an (implied) hour or so. (During Christmas,you get 2 or 3 people asking for help while crossing the store, and no-one has time to just be on the sales floor.)
As to memorability: frequent, very nice or very unpleasant customers are more memorable, as are the ones that always buy 2+ carts of stuff. If V comes back often enough, he may be recognized as "Cal's friend" or "that guy who buys a $100 cart full of stuff every week." If this happens often ebough, the staff will probably remember him and be on frendly terms. If he regularly buys $100s-$1000s of dollars, one of the managers may offer to take over showing him around, and it will be memorable. Also, expect the staff to guess what he is shopping for ("Slime? Glitter jars? Are you a teacher? Activities director?")

Re: Well ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I work in a craft store. Most of the year, purchases range from a few things to occasional $40-50 at once.* <<

Thank you! I really appreciate it when people chime in with their observations.

>> Someone who is buying for an organization or fancy event (adult daycare, wedding) may buy $100-200 at a time. The really big spenders are the summer camps, but only in early summer.<<

I forgot about those.

>> I suspect this takes place in the slow season (Feb to July) <<

Nailed it, June 20. I didn't do that on purpose, but did base it on my observations of craft stores. Apparently my observation is good enough that it's not rare for me to pick up on details I didn't notice consciously.

>> because no one fusses or interrupts while Cal is helping a customer for an (implied) hour or so. (During Christmas,you get 2 or 3 people asking for help while crossing the store, and no-one has time to just be on the sales floor.) <<

Terramagne-America does better about hiring enough people to cover the workload, but yeah, that much attention during peak demand would be harder to get. Not to mention trying to squeeze between clots of other customers.

>> As to memorability: frequent, very nice or very unpleasant customers are more memorable, as are the ones that always buy 2+ carts of stuff. If V comes back often enough, he may be recognized as "Cal's friend" or "that guy who buys a $100 cart full of stuff every week."<<

Hmm ... probably not every week, but possibly once or twice a month. Though it could go up. Vagary is actively looking for more-legal work, and he's good at shopping. He likes to travel and can scan a store to find things quickly.

>> If this happens often ebough, the staff will probably remember him and be on frendly terms.<<

That makes sense.

>> If he regularly buys $100s-$1000s of dollars, one of the managers may offer to take over showing him around, and it will be memorable. <<

I think he might prefer to stick with Calvin, unless they're clashing that week, which is also memorable.

>> Also, expect the staff to guess what he is shopping for ("Slime? Glitter jars? Are you a teacher? Activities director?") <<

LOL I doubt he'll come out and say "mad science labs" but he might admit to "personal shopper." And sooner or later someone might send him out for a Triton Teen Center.

[mdlbear]

I'm reminded of Amazon's titanium Prime Visa card. (Don't know whether that's still a thing; it was a year ago.)

An emerald card would need to have an interesting microstructure to keep it from being brittle. In Terramagne there are probably some interesting options for that.

[we_are_spc]

I believe it's still a thing. A friend of mine has a prime card, I think, whether it's titanium, I dunno.

-Fallon~

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

Emerald is 7.5 to 8.0 on the Mohs Scale. For this purpose, emeralds would be lab-grown at maximum durability. The card won't bend, but neither will it break easily. It's not meant to go in a jeans pocket; it's meant to be carried in a suitcoat pocket.