Poem: "A Tornado of Thought"
Mar. 25th, 2017 01:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem is spillover from the March 7, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from sweet_sparrow. It also fills the "creative solutions to limits" square in my 3-1-17 card for the Disability Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Calliope thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.
Warning: This poem includes some touchy topics. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. It has emotional upheavals, Vagary's continued stress over Calliope not wanting to do things with him, Calliope's continued stress over his closeness, tornado formation, interrupted therapy session, which triggers Vagary's abandonment issues, unexpected changes in superpowers, Calliope looming over Vagary, emotional suppression during an emergency, an emergency dispatcher doing a shitty job, negotiating with supervillains, stormchasing, exhaustion, crashing with friends at a weather station, and other challenges. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"A Tornado of Thought"
Calliope had noticed a pattern
forming in their therapy sessions.
As soon as Mr. Gallagar asked
how things were going for them,
Vagary would launch himself into
an enthusiastic description of
the classes or support groups
he had been frequenting.
Today it happened to be yoga.
"I love the Santosha Yoga group
that meets upstairs," Vagary burbled.
"Focusing on contentment doesn't actually
solve any problems, but it makes me feel better,
and then it's easier to work on other stuff."
Calliope hadn't realized how much time
he was spending in Stillwater, until he
started gabbling about it in therapy.
"That's good news," said Mr. Gallagar.
"I'm delighted to hear that you find
our personal health programs so useful."
"Yeah, the stuff you offer here
is great," said Vagary.
"You're not as happy with what
you get elsewhere?" Mr. Gallagar said.
"No, it's not that, my regular things are
great too," said Vagary. "When I first got there,
I was ... kind of a wreck, and people picked me up
and put me back together. It helped a lot. It's just
that I've already gone through most of the offerings that
fit my interests there. The ones here are different."
"That makes sense, then; you're building on
previous resources to take advantage of
new opportunities," said Mr. Gallagar.
"What else here has caught your eye?"
"I love the idea of couples yoga;
everyone talks about how cool it is,"
Vagary began. This his face crumpled,
the way it always did when something
inevitably reminded him of their situation.
"But I know that's ... not going to happen."
Calliope felt like she was already
twisting herself into a pretzel,
trying to find some position that
wouldn't hurt both of them.
She turned her gaze toward
the window, where the rain
rattled against the glass.
"I'm afraid that's a bit ambitious
for now," said Mr. Gallagar. "However,
there are other options that can
work in a similar direction."
"Like what?" Calliope wondered.
She was in favor of anything that
would push Vagary away from
the idea of couples yoga, which
frankly gave her the creeps.
"Remember when we talked about
the Power and Control Wheel and
the Equality Wheel?" the counselor said.
Calliope and Vagary both turned to look
at the door, where those two posters
bracketed the Relationship Health Check
that decorated the office door itself.
"Yes," they chorused.
"I'd like to call your attention
to the first section, which is
Using Intimidation in Power
vs. Non-Threatening Behavior
in Equality," said Mr. Gallagar.
Both of them had problems
with that, as Vagary had violated
Calliope's boundaries enough
to make her resent him, and she
had handled him roughly enough
to make him skittish with her.
"Okay, those match," Calliope said,
uncertain what their counselor
meant for them to do about it.
"Each section matches its counterpart
on the opposite wheel," said Mr. Gallagar.
"In order to make your relationship healthier,
and thus hurt each other less, you need
to shift each section from Power to Equality."
"Sounds good to me," Vagary said.
"How do we go about doing that?"
"Well, your inclination for couples yoga
points in the right direction," said Mr. Gallagar.
"Healthy touch can produce strong benefits
in relationships troubled by violence."
"What kind of touch?" Calliope said,
narrowing her eyes. She didn't want
to touch Vagary at all, but some things
would be much worse than others.
Besides, Mr. Gallagar was good at
finding creative solutions to limits.
"Whatever feels pleasant to you,
or at least tolerable -- don't do
anything that makes you uneasy,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "There are plenty of
exercises on healthy touch you could try.
A good starting point would be comparing
your body maps, if you've done those."
Just the conversation made Calliope feel
uncomfortable, like the storm clouds
roiling above them outside.
"Yeah, we can touch hands," said Vagary.
"It helps keep the bond ... not satisfied,
really, but quieter than it was before."
Calliope grudgingly admitted
to herself that this was true.
"That's a useful discovery,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "You might also
explore what parts of your body ache
or need comfort, because people store
emotional pain in different places, which
can later impact physical health."
"Neck and upper back," Calliope confessed,
rolling her shoulders. "They get stiff."
"Hips and ankles for me," said Vagary.
"I'm not as flexible as some guys,
but the yoga sure is helping."
"Excellent," said Mr. Gallagar.
"Begin with simple hand contact,
and look for activities such as games
or dancing that would encourage that in
a natural way. From there, you should
be able to work your way up to touching
other body parts like shoulders and ankles."
"I could go with that," Vagary said.
A tornado of thought swirled around
Calliope, making her shiver at the idea
of touching Vagary or him touching her --
and then suddenly she realized that
it wasn't just the therapy making her
so uncomfortable, it was the weather
and the actual tornado it was brewing.
"Excuse me," Calliope said as she
bounded to her feet. "I have to go.
The storm is starting to spin up
into a tornado. I need to stop it."
"That's alarming," Vagary said.
"How can we help?" Mr. Gallagar said,
automatically glancing at his tablet which
currently had a weather page online. "It's
still a watch, not a warning -- do you want me
to hustle everyone into the shelter already?"
"No, it's not that bad yet; I'm more sensitive
than the weather equipment," Calliope said.
"You might want to send someone to check
on your emergency supplies, though. If I'm
not back in ten minutes, or the alarms sound,
then get everyone to safety quick as you can."
"Okay," Vagary said, his misery spilling over
Calliope. "It's only ... we just got here ..."
"Go on, Calliope, you can use the back garden,"
Mr. Gallagar said, waving her away. "Vagary,
you and I can stay here and turn this
into a private session, if you like."
Calliope ignored them in favor of
heading out the back door to deal
with the mess of weather overhead.
Cold wind pelted her with rain
as she stepped onto the back porch.
The sky was a weird blend of pale green
blotted by dark, ugly clouds overhead --
clouds that swirled ominously as
they began to form a funnel.
Calliope reached up with her hands
to get a grip on the air currents and
begin to disrupt their spiral flow.
Instead, they simply shredded in her hands.
Calliope stared up in amazement at
the tattered remnants of cloud that
had been a nascent tornado.
They didn't re-form, just scudded
along like ordinary rainclouds.
Baffled, she walked back inside
and headed to Mr. Gallagar's office.
"What did you do?" she demanded,
stalking toward Vagary. It had to be
him because nothing else had changed.
"I -- I didn't do anything," he stammered.
"I just started talking about abandonment.
You haven't even been gone five minutes."
"I didn't notice him doing anything,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "If the crisis is past,
perhaps you could sit down. I think that
your stance is making Vagary nervous."
Calliope looked down at Vagary and
noticed that, yes, he was kind of
cringing away from her.
She down sat on the arm of
the loveseat and said, "I dispersed
the tornado. It was ... easy."
"That's different from the way that
it usually feels to you?" Mr. Gallagar said.
"Yes, air is heavy," said Calliope.
"I can manipulate it, but not like that.
It usually takes a lot more effort."
"Um," said Vagary. "It could be the bond.
Enhancement of abilities is a known effect
that can occur with bonding. I just didn't
think it would happen for us, because
our bond is ... kind of a mess."
"So how do we find out whether
that's the cause?" Calliope said.
"Touch me," Vagary said, holding out
his hand to her. "Skin contact tends
to strengthen this kind of connection.
If it is the bond, then we should
be able to feel the difference."
"Okay," Calliope said, reaching out.
As soon as their fingers touched,
the power surged between them.
"Shit!" Calliope said. She pulled
her hand back, trying to shake off
the sharp, electric tingle in it.
"I guess you have your answer,"
Vagary said as he tucked his hands
tightly between his knees.
Calliope took a deep breath,
pushing her emotions down
to deal with later. Right now,
she had more important matters
that demanded her attention.
"Come with me," she invited.
"With that much of a power boost,
I should be able to clear up most
of this squall line before it does
any serious damage."
"You can reach that far?"
Vagary said, tilting his head.
"No, but I can get a teleporter
to take me stormchasing," she said.
"Okay," Vagary said. "I'll come.
"Sorry to skip out, Mr. Gallagar,
but duty calls," Calliope said.
"Go on," the counselor said.
"Saving the day is more urgent,
just remember to make up
this session at a later time."
"Understood," Calliope said,
heading for the door, with
Vagary a step behind her.
"So now what?" he asked.
"Now I call SPOON and
arrange a teleport," she said,
pulling out her phone.
But it wasn't that simple.
"Dispatch, this is Calliope,
and I need a teleport for two
to go stormchasing along
Tornado Alley," she said.
"Who are you with?" Reggie said.
"You hardly ever ride out with
anyone other than Hyperspaceman,
and if it was him, you wouldn't need
a teleporter. Shit, I hope it's not
that supervillain stalker of yours."
Calliope gritted her teeth and wished
that Reggie was as professional as
Stillwater's emergency services.
"As a matter of fact, Vagary is
my assist, and he's been very useful
to me already," she said. "Now
hurry up and get us a ride!"
"I don't know if anyone will want
to lift a supervillain --" Reggie said.
"I do not have time for this,"
Calliope snapped. "Fine, fuck it,
I'll call someone else!" She hung up.
"Problem?" Vagary asked.
"SPOON dispatch in the Heights
is being a dick," Calliope said.
"I'll have to try Easy City."
"I can get us a lift," Vagary said.
"Your 'friends' won't object
to helping a superhera?" she said.
"Not if you're with me," he said.
"They already know who you are
and it's just political differences,
not like you're a whackjob."
"What will it cost me?" Calliope said.
"Standard offer is straight trade,
we do our thing and you do yours,"
Vagary said. "That means we give you
a ride to go stormchasing today, and in
return, you do storm control for us later."
"That's all? Just do what I normally do,
only for you guys?" Calliope asked.
"That's the deal," Vagary said. "We've
got facilities in places that get rough weather.
We'd bring you in by teleport, so you wouldn't
know where, but yeah -- it's just the usual, you
calm the weather down and we're good. I'll even
throw in my company for the boost. Deal?"
Calliope only had to think about it for
a few seconds before compelling need
drove her to say, "Deal. Do it."
Vagary pulled out his phone
and muttered some kind of code
into it, followed by the request.
Then he put his palm over the phone
and said, "You don't get airsick, do you?"
"No, I ride tornados sometimes.
I can handle a little tilt-a-whirl
if your teleporter isn't so smooth,"
Calliope said, shaking her head.
"No problem, he's perfect," Vagary said,
then put his phone back in his pocket.
"Who's perfect?" Calliope asked.
"At least tell me who's my ride."
"Kong Vault is a fantastic teleporter,
especially if you're trying to reach
a moving target; he's got great agility,"
Vagary said. "It just means a dippy ride
sometimes. He can follow your twisters,
if you can point him to the right places."
"Oh, that's useful," Calliope said.
The teleporter who came was short
and muscular, with blond dreadlocks,
clad in a sleek and practical jumpsuit.
"I'm Kong Vault," he said. "Where to?"
Calliope showed him the stormchaser app
on her phone. "I'm following this line of
storms to scuttle tornadoes as they form,
before anyone gets hurt," she explained.
"I need to jump from one hotspot to the next."
"Can do," said Kong Vault. "Hang on."
He wrapped his powerful arms around
them, and then they were off.
The ride was smooth at first, but
it ended with a sharp swerve that
made Calliope gasp as they landed.
"Sorry about the hairpin, but
the tornado decided to take
a swipe at us," Kong Vault said.
"Good call," Calliope said,
looking at the ominous cone that
already reached almost two thirds
of the way to the ground.
She felt Vagary's hand slip into
her own, and suddenly the sky
didn't feel so overwhelming.
Calliope reached up and out with
her power, breaking up the air flow
with quick swipes of her hands.
The funnel cloud dispersed.
Kong Vault's awe shimmered
in her mind, vivid and near.
"That was amazing," he said.
"Where are we headed next?"
Calliope flicked her fingers over
the phone and pointed out
the next vortex to quell.
They spent the whole afternoon
pursuing the storm and unraveling
tornados, catching most of them
before they could touch the ground.
It was so much easier with Vagary in tow.
Calliope knew that she was covering
more than just twice as much territory
as she could typically handle.
The chase spanned three states
and ultimately left them in Nebraska,
too exhausted to do more than
stare at the flimsy drizzle that was
all that remained of the storm.
"I've got one short jump left in me,
and then I'm toast," Kong Vault warned.
"Uh huh," Calliope said, wavering on
her feet. Vagary caught her, and she was
too tired even to growl at him. "I know folks
in the Omaha weather station. They've got
a quiet room; we can all crash in there."
"They won't mind?" Vagary said with
a sloppy wave. "We're, you know ..."
"Today you're stormchasers, and we
just saved three states," Calliope said.
"If they even try to kick you out, I will
throw them out a window myself."
"Got a good one," Kong Vault said,
patting Vagary on the shoulder.
It turned out that the weather crew
had been watching them bust clouds
all afternoon, and when the tired team
came to ground at their station, they were
more than happy to provide support.
In the tender care of her friends,
Calliope devoured an almond Picky Bar,
washed it down with Dr. Pete's Recovery Drink,
and collapsed onto the nearest couch.
Vagary was already snoring on
the next one. From the rustling sounds,
Kong Vault was still working his way
through the offered snacks.
Calliope sighed in relief.
Challenges notwithstanding,
it had actually been a good day,
and she was grateful for the help
that she had received along the way.
On that note, she rolled over and went to sleep.
* * *
Notes:
Reggie Echelberger -- He has ruddy skin, blue eyes, and short strawberry blond hair. He works as a dispatcher at the SPOON base in the Heights. His superpower isn't useful in combat, but he wants to help save the day, so he became a dispatcher to support superheroes in the field. This is somewhat complicated by his tendency to moralize, and he's particularly poor at dealing with supervillains.
Origin: He developed Super-Immunity from the Aegis vaccine base, but nothing else. His superpower basically consists of never calling in sick.
Uniform: On duty, he wears the Heights SPOON uniform of a black shirt and pants with the SPOON logo embroidered in gold on the chest pocket. Off duty, he favors practical men's clothes.
Qualities: Good (+2) Computer Use, Good (+2) Fast, Good (+2) Following Rules, Good (+2) Multitasking, Good (+2) Sports Fan
Poor (-2) Moralistic
Powers: Average (0) Super-Immunity
Motivation: To be a hero.
Kong Vault (Jenner Debenport) -- He has fair skin, blue eyes, and long blond hair in dreadlocks. He is short and muscular. Kong Vault works as a teleporter for Kraken, but he's nearly neutral in personal opinion, with no particular beef against superheroes. However, he's a sucker for seduction attempts, and superheras have gotten to him more than once this way. It hasn't changed either his opinions or his love life.
Origin: Jenner was a young troublemaker until a teacher got him into track & field, where he excelled. Unfortunately for his budding sports career, puberty brought superpowers, and that disqualified him from competition. He promptly returned to making trouble, even worse than ever. A Kraken operative extracted him from Juvenile Hall and offered him an opportunity to use both his athletic and his super abilities. He accepted.
Uniform: On duty, Kong Vault wears a Kraken uniform of dexflan and capery. The jumpsuits are sensibly designed with sleek fit, plenty of pockets and fasteners for equipment. They provide Expert (+4) Camouflage to a designated user, but if worn by anyone else, turn garish neon colors. Off duty, he favors athletic men's wear.
Qualities: Expert (+4) Reliable, Good (+2) Concentration, Good (+2) Courage, Good (+2) Parkour
Poor (-2) Can't Say No to a Pretty Face
Powers: Expert (+4) Teleportation
His cargo capacity and distance are typical for his strength level, but his agility in transit is much better. Kong Vault can easily jump to or from a moving target, which many teleporters cannot, and he is very difficult to trace.
Motivation: To move efficiently through space.
A Kong vault is when the body passes over an obstacle with the legs placed between the arms. Among the most versatile vaults, it's ideal for clearing long, high objects or reaching extra distance.
-- Parkour Terminology
* * *
“A tornado of thought is unleashed after each new insight. This in turn results in an earthquake of assumptions. These are natural disasters that re-shape the spirit.”
― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
In the Tranquility Counseling Center, the little square beside the stairs is the quiet room. The hatch to the storm shelter is in the notch between the quiet room and the stairs. This shelter holds up to 25 people. The partial wall beside the ladder holds the emergency supplies. The storage buckets convert to commodes, so one is customarily placed behind that wall with a curtain for privacy. Here is a look at some other community tornado shelters.
Office 1 is for couples counseling. The Power and Control Wheel hangs to the left of the door. The Relationship Health Check is on the door. The Equality Wheel hangs to the right of door.
The large meeting room upstairs is the multipurpose room, used for the bigger group therapy sessions and classes such as yoga. It has posters on Be Kind To Your Mind with speech bubbles, group rules, the 8 Limbs of Yoga, and a large yogasanas chart.
Behind the Tranquility Counseling Center lies a healing garden in the center of the block they share with several other buildings. It features small patches of lawn broken up by flowerbeds and a rocky stream. Walking paths provide access to several sitting areas.
This is the Omaha Weather Station floor plan. The upper left corner is the quiet room, which provides storm protection when necessary. Lined with acoustic foam, this room offers several couches and foam blocks for employees to relax from a stressful job. It also serves as emergency crash space for people who get stuck at work due to bad weather because they had to stay and report on it.
Santosha is the study of contentment through yoga. Learn how to practice it.
Couples yoga, or partner yoga, features asanas with postures that require two people. It has many benefits, especially for people in therapy for a troubled relationship, because it requires teamwork and makes you more aware of each other. Calliope and Vagary are not ready to work at this level, but the premise is sound, and they can work on easier stuff with an eye toward building up enough experience to make couples yoga safe to consider. Here are some dual poses for beginners.
People question whether an unhealthy relationship can become healthy. Well, that's like asking whether an unhealthy body can become healthy. Some problems are fixable, while others aren't. Problems require work to solve. Some of what Callipe and Vagary face is fixable, and some they'll just have to learn to work around. The fact that they're both willing to work on it is an excellent sign, though. There are steps to take for improving a bad relationship, including some that don't rely primarily on talking about it.
Loving touch can help people reconnect after stressful experiences such as sexual abuse. It also builds intimacy, which should be done slowly to avoid overstraining anyone's boundaries. Browse a list of sensual and nonsexual touches.
Bodyworkers have learned that people often store emotional pain in the body, where it proceeds to cause all kinds of problems. Here is one example of a chart that maps common symptoms and their root causes. If you cannot identify a physical cause for pain, consider digging for an emotional one.
Along the stages of intimacy, hand to hand is typically the first point of physical contact. Touching shoulders or other body parts is more intimate. A good rule of thumb is to start at the outside and move in, provided both people are comfortable with advancing the intimacy.
Tornadoes can form in various ways. Among them are the high generation of a rotating cloud which reaches downward, and the lower generation of a horizontally rotating tube which tilts vertically to connect ground and sky. Know how to prepare for a tornado before and during the storm. Take cover in a storm cellar or other shelter. You can make or buy a tornado survival kit for home or office use. T-American safety regulations require that areas prone to tornados must have storm shelters sufficient to protect their population; small public places such as bus stops often have an in-ground shelter, while larger ones like malls or schools have either a basement or central multi-use area. Homes and businesses are expected to stock appropriately sized disaster kits.
In the early stages, a rotating cloud begins to project downward. Big wide tornadoes are difficult to disrupt or deflect, akin to miniature hurricanes. The little skinny ones can sometimes be disrupted, but are easy to deflect -- any touch will do it, just like touching a spinning top will make it bounce away in a random direction or sometimes topple. However, air is heavy due to atmospheric pressure. Changing any substantial mass of air therefore requires a LOT of energy.
A squall line is an extended length where conditions are right for forming violent weather. They can seed tornadoes across several states, often causing catastrophic damage.
Check out some stormchasing apps. These are fun for armchair meteorologists, but also useful in disaster preparedness.
Dr. Pete's Recovery Drink is a fortified chocolate milk. In Terramagne-America, this sort of thing is widely available, and you can even find it made with clinical-grade chocolate.
Picky Bars are good energy snacks that come in almond and other flavors.
sweet_sparrow. It also fills the "creative solutions to limits" square in my 3-1-17 card for the Disability Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Calliope thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.Warning: This poem includes some touchy topics. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. It has emotional upheavals, Vagary's continued stress over Calliope not wanting to do things with him, Calliope's continued stress over his closeness, tornado formation, interrupted therapy session, which triggers Vagary's abandonment issues, unexpected changes in superpowers, Calliope looming over Vagary, emotional suppression during an emergency, an emergency dispatcher doing a shitty job, negotiating with supervillains, stormchasing, exhaustion, crashing with friends at a weather station, and other challenges. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"A Tornado of Thought"
Calliope had noticed a pattern
forming in their therapy sessions.
As soon as Mr. Gallagar asked
how things were going for them,
Vagary would launch himself into
an enthusiastic description of
the classes or support groups
he had been frequenting.
Today it happened to be yoga.
"I love the Santosha Yoga group
that meets upstairs," Vagary burbled.
"Focusing on contentment doesn't actually
solve any problems, but it makes me feel better,
and then it's easier to work on other stuff."
Calliope hadn't realized how much time
he was spending in Stillwater, until he
started gabbling about it in therapy.
"That's good news," said Mr. Gallagar.
"I'm delighted to hear that you find
our personal health programs so useful."
"Yeah, the stuff you offer here
is great," said Vagary.
"You're not as happy with what
you get elsewhere?" Mr. Gallagar said.
"No, it's not that, my regular things are
great too," said Vagary. "When I first got there,
I was ... kind of a wreck, and people picked me up
and put me back together. It helped a lot. It's just
that I've already gone through most of the offerings that
fit my interests there. The ones here are different."
"That makes sense, then; you're building on
previous resources to take advantage of
new opportunities," said Mr. Gallagar.
"What else here has caught your eye?"
"I love the idea of couples yoga;
everyone talks about how cool it is,"
Vagary began. This his face crumpled,
the way it always did when something
inevitably reminded him of their situation.
"But I know that's ... not going to happen."
Calliope felt like she was already
twisting herself into a pretzel,
trying to find some position that
wouldn't hurt both of them.
She turned her gaze toward
the window, where the rain
rattled against the glass.
"I'm afraid that's a bit ambitious
for now," said Mr. Gallagar. "However,
there are other options that can
work in a similar direction."
"Like what?" Calliope wondered.
She was in favor of anything that
would push Vagary away from
the idea of couples yoga, which
frankly gave her the creeps.
"Remember when we talked about
the Power and Control Wheel and
the Equality Wheel?" the counselor said.
Calliope and Vagary both turned to look
at the door, where those two posters
bracketed the Relationship Health Check
that decorated the office door itself.
"Yes," they chorused.
"I'd like to call your attention
to the first section, which is
Using Intimidation in Power
vs. Non-Threatening Behavior
in Equality," said Mr. Gallagar.
Both of them had problems
with that, as Vagary had violated
Calliope's boundaries enough
to make her resent him, and she
had handled him roughly enough
to make him skittish with her.
"Okay, those match," Calliope said,
uncertain what their counselor
meant for them to do about it.
"Each section matches its counterpart
on the opposite wheel," said Mr. Gallagar.
"In order to make your relationship healthier,
and thus hurt each other less, you need
to shift each section from Power to Equality."
"Sounds good to me," Vagary said.
"How do we go about doing that?"
"Well, your inclination for couples yoga
points in the right direction," said Mr. Gallagar.
"Healthy touch can produce strong benefits
in relationships troubled by violence."
"What kind of touch?" Calliope said,
narrowing her eyes. She didn't want
to touch Vagary at all, but some things
would be much worse than others.
Besides, Mr. Gallagar was good at
finding creative solutions to limits.
"Whatever feels pleasant to you,
or at least tolerable -- don't do
anything that makes you uneasy,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "There are plenty of
exercises on healthy touch you could try.
A good starting point would be comparing
your body maps, if you've done those."
Just the conversation made Calliope feel
uncomfortable, like the storm clouds
roiling above them outside.
"Yeah, we can touch hands," said Vagary.
"It helps keep the bond ... not satisfied,
really, but quieter than it was before."
Calliope grudgingly admitted
to herself that this was true.
"That's a useful discovery,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "You might also
explore what parts of your body ache
or need comfort, because people store
emotional pain in different places, which
can later impact physical health."
"Neck and upper back," Calliope confessed,
rolling her shoulders. "They get stiff."
"Hips and ankles for me," said Vagary.
"I'm not as flexible as some guys,
but the yoga sure is helping."
"Excellent," said Mr. Gallagar.
"Begin with simple hand contact,
and look for activities such as games
or dancing that would encourage that in
a natural way. From there, you should
be able to work your way up to touching
other body parts like shoulders and ankles."
"I could go with that," Vagary said.
A tornado of thought swirled around
Calliope, making her shiver at the idea
of touching Vagary or him touching her --
and then suddenly she realized that
it wasn't just the therapy making her
so uncomfortable, it was the weather
and the actual tornado it was brewing.
"Excuse me," Calliope said as she
bounded to her feet. "I have to go.
The storm is starting to spin up
into a tornado. I need to stop it."
"That's alarming," Vagary said.
"How can we help?" Mr. Gallagar said,
automatically glancing at his tablet which
currently had a weather page online. "It's
still a watch, not a warning -- do you want me
to hustle everyone into the shelter already?"
"No, it's not that bad yet; I'm more sensitive
than the weather equipment," Calliope said.
"You might want to send someone to check
on your emergency supplies, though. If I'm
not back in ten minutes, or the alarms sound,
then get everyone to safety quick as you can."
"Okay," Vagary said, his misery spilling over
Calliope. "It's only ... we just got here ..."
"Go on, Calliope, you can use the back garden,"
Mr. Gallagar said, waving her away. "Vagary,
you and I can stay here and turn this
into a private session, if you like."
Calliope ignored them in favor of
heading out the back door to deal
with the mess of weather overhead.
Cold wind pelted her with rain
as she stepped onto the back porch.
The sky was a weird blend of pale green
blotted by dark, ugly clouds overhead --
clouds that swirled ominously as
they began to form a funnel.
Calliope reached up with her hands
to get a grip on the air currents and
begin to disrupt their spiral flow.
Instead, they simply shredded in her hands.
Calliope stared up in amazement at
the tattered remnants of cloud that
had been a nascent tornado.
They didn't re-form, just scudded
along like ordinary rainclouds.
Baffled, she walked back inside
and headed to Mr. Gallagar's office.
"What did you do?" she demanded,
stalking toward Vagary. It had to be
him because nothing else had changed.
"I -- I didn't do anything," he stammered.
"I just started talking about abandonment.
You haven't even been gone five minutes."
"I didn't notice him doing anything,"
said Mr. Gallagar. "If the crisis is past,
perhaps you could sit down. I think that
your stance is making Vagary nervous."
Calliope looked down at Vagary and
noticed that, yes, he was kind of
cringing away from her.
She down sat on the arm of
the loveseat and said, "I dispersed
the tornado. It was ... easy."
"That's different from the way that
it usually feels to you?" Mr. Gallagar said.
"Yes, air is heavy," said Calliope.
"I can manipulate it, but not like that.
It usually takes a lot more effort."
"Um," said Vagary. "It could be the bond.
Enhancement of abilities is a known effect
that can occur with bonding. I just didn't
think it would happen for us, because
our bond is ... kind of a mess."
"So how do we find out whether
that's the cause?" Calliope said.
"Touch me," Vagary said, holding out
his hand to her. "Skin contact tends
to strengthen this kind of connection.
If it is the bond, then we should
be able to feel the difference."
"Okay," Calliope said, reaching out.
As soon as their fingers touched,
the power surged between them.
"Shit!" Calliope said. She pulled
her hand back, trying to shake off
the sharp, electric tingle in it.
"I guess you have your answer,"
Vagary said as he tucked his hands
tightly between his knees.
Calliope took a deep breath,
pushing her emotions down
to deal with later. Right now,
she had more important matters
that demanded her attention.
"Come with me," she invited.
"With that much of a power boost,
I should be able to clear up most
of this squall line before it does
any serious damage."
"You can reach that far?"
Vagary said, tilting his head.
"No, but I can get a teleporter
to take me stormchasing," she said.
"Okay," Vagary said. "I'll come.
"Sorry to skip out, Mr. Gallagar,
but duty calls," Calliope said.
"Go on," the counselor said.
"Saving the day is more urgent,
just remember to make up
this session at a later time."
"Understood," Calliope said,
heading for the door, with
Vagary a step behind her.
"So now what?" he asked.
"Now I call SPOON and
arrange a teleport," she said,
pulling out her phone.
But it wasn't that simple.
"Dispatch, this is Calliope,
and I need a teleport for two
to go stormchasing along
Tornado Alley," she said.
"Who are you with?" Reggie said.
"You hardly ever ride out with
anyone other than Hyperspaceman,
and if it was him, you wouldn't need
a teleporter. Shit, I hope it's not
that supervillain stalker of yours."
Calliope gritted her teeth and wished
that Reggie was as professional as
Stillwater's emergency services.
"As a matter of fact, Vagary is
my assist, and he's been very useful
to me already," she said. "Now
hurry up and get us a ride!"
"I don't know if anyone will want
to lift a supervillain --" Reggie said.
"I do not have time for this,"
Calliope snapped. "Fine, fuck it,
I'll call someone else!" She hung up.
"Problem?" Vagary asked.
"SPOON dispatch in the Heights
is being a dick," Calliope said.
"I'll have to try Easy City."
"I can get us a lift," Vagary said.
"Your 'friends' won't object
to helping a superhera?" she said.
"Not if you're with me," he said.
"They already know who you are
and it's just political differences,
not like you're a whackjob."
"What will it cost me?" Calliope said.
"Standard offer is straight trade,
we do our thing and you do yours,"
Vagary said. "That means we give you
a ride to go stormchasing today, and in
return, you do storm control for us later."
"That's all? Just do what I normally do,
only for you guys?" Calliope asked.
"That's the deal," Vagary said. "We've
got facilities in places that get rough weather.
We'd bring you in by teleport, so you wouldn't
know where, but yeah -- it's just the usual, you
calm the weather down and we're good. I'll even
throw in my company for the boost. Deal?"
Calliope only had to think about it for
a few seconds before compelling need
drove her to say, "Deal. Do it."
Vagary pulled out his phone
and muttered some kind of code
into it, followed by the request.
Then he put his palm over the phone
and said, "You don't get airsick, do you?"
"No, I ride tornados sometimes.
I can handle a little tilt-a-whirl
if your teleporter isn't so smooth,"
Calliope said, shaking her head.
"No problem, he's perfect," Vagary said,
then put his phone back in his pocket.
"Who's perfect?" Calliope asked.
"At least tell me who's my ride."
"Kong Vault is a fantastic teleporter,
especially if you're trying to reach
a moving target; he's got great agility,"
Vagary said. "It just means a dippy ride
sometimes. He can follow your twisters,
if you can point him to the right places."
"Oh, that's useful," Calliope said.
The teleporter who came was short
and muscular, with blond dreadlocks,
clad in a sleek and practical jumpsuit.
"I'm Kong Vault," he said. "Where to?"
Calliope showed him the stormchaser app
on her phone. "I'm following this line of
storms to scuttle tornadoes as they form,
before anyone gets hurt," she explained.
"I need to jump from one hotspot to the next."
"Can do," said Kong Vault. "Hang on."
He wrapped his powerful arms around
them, and then they were off.
The ride was smooth at first, but
it ended with a sharp swerve that
made Calliope gasp as they landed.
"Sorry about the hairpin, but
the tornado decided to take
a swipe at us," Kong Vault said.
"Good call," Calliope said,
looking at the ominous cone that
already reached almost two thirds
of the way to the ground.
She felt Vagary's hand slip into
her own, and suddenly the sky
didn't feel so overwhelming.
Calliope reached up and out with
her power, breaking up the air flow
with quick swipes of her hands.
The funnel cloud dispersed.
Kong Vault's awe shimmered
in her mind, vivid and near.
"That was amazing," he said.
"Where are we headed next?"
Calliope flicked her fingers over
the phone and pointed out
the next vortex to quell.
They spent the whole afternoon
pursuing the storm and unraveling
tornados, catching most of them
before they could touch the ground.
It was so much easier with Vagary in tow.
Calliope knew that she was covering
more than just twice as much territory
as she could typically handle.
The chase spanned three states
and ultimately left them in Nebraska,
too exhausted to do more than
stare at the flimsy drizzle that was
all that remained of the storm.
"I've got one short jump left in me,
and then I'm toast," Kong Vault warned.
"Uh huh," Calliope said, wavering on
her feet. Vagary caught her, and she was
too tired even to growl at him. "I know folks
in the Omaha weather station. They've got
a quiet room; we can all crash in there."
"They won't mind?" Vagary said with
a sloppy wave. "We're, you know ..."
"Today you're stormchasers, and we
just saved three states," Calliope said.
"If they even try to kick you out, I will
throw them out a window myself."
"Got a good one," Kong Vault said,
patting Vagary on the shoulder.
It turned out that the weather crew
had been watching them bust clouds
all afternoon, and when the tired team
came to ground at their station, they were
more than happy to provide support.
In the tender care of her friends,
Calliope devoured an almond Picky Bar,
washed it down with Dr. Pete's Recovery Drink,
and collapsed onto the nearest couch.
Vagary was already snoring on
the next one. From the rustling sounds,
Kong Vault was still working his way
through the offered snacks.
Calliope sighed in relief.
Challenges notwithstanding,
it had actually been a good day,
and she was grateful for the help
that she had received along the way.
On that note, she rolled over and went to sleep.
* * *
Notes:
Reggie Echelberger -- He has ruddy skin, blue eyes, and short strawberry blond hair. He works as a dispatcher at the SPOON base in the Heights. His superpower isn't useful in combat, but he wants to help save the day, so he became a dispatcher to support superheroes in the field. This is somewhat complicated by his tendency to moralize, and he's particularly poor at dealing with supervillains.
Origin: He developed Super-Immunity from the Aegis vaccine base, but nothing else. His superpower basically consists of never calling in sick.
Uniform: On duty, he wears the Heights SPOON uniform of a black shirt and pants with the SPOON logo embroidered in gold on the chest pocket. Off duty, he favors practical men's clothes.
Qualities: Good (+2) Computer Use, Good (+2) Fast, Good (+2) Following Rules, Good (+2) Multitasking, Good (+2) Sports Fan
Poor (-2) Moralistic
Powers: Average (0) Super-Immunity
Motivation: To be a hero.
Kong Vault (Jenner Debenport) -- He has fair skin, blue eyes, and long blond hair in dreadlocks. He is short and muscular. Kong Vault works as a teleporter for Kraken, but he's nearly neutral in personal opinion, with no particular beef against superheroes. However, he's a sucker for seduction attempts, and superheras have gotten to him more than once this way. It hasn't changed either his opinions or his love life.
Origin: Jenner was a young troublemaker until a teacher got him into track & field, where he excelled. Unfortunately for his budding sports career, puberty brought superpowers, and that disqualified him from competition. He promptly returned to making trouble, even worse than ever. A Kraken operative extracted him from Juvenile Hall and offered him an opportunity to use both his athletic and his super abilities. He accepted.
Uniform: On duty, Kong Vault wears a Kraken uniform of dexflan and capery. The jumpsuits are sensibly designed with sleek fit, plenty of pockets and fasteners for equipment. They provide Expert (+4) Camouflage to a designated user, but if worn by anyone else, turn garish neon colors. Off duty, he favors athletic men's wear.
Qualities: Expert (+4) Reliable, Good (+2) Concentration, Good (+2) Courage, Good (+2) Parkour
Poor (-2) Can't Say No to a Pretty Face
Powers: Expert (+4) Teleportation
His cargo capacity and distance are typical for his strength level, but his agility in transit is much better. Kong Vault can easily jump to or from a moving target, which many teleporters cannot, and he is very difficult to trace.
Motivation: To move efficiently through space.
A Kong vault is when the body passes over an obstacle with the legs placed between the arms. Among the most versatile vaults, it's ideal for clearing long, high objects or reaching extra distance.
-- Parkour Terminology
* * *
“A tornado of thought is unleashed after each new insight. This in turn results in an earthquake of assumptions. These are natural disasters that re-shape the spirit.”
― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
In the Tranquility Counseling Center, the little square beside the stairs is the quiet room. The hatch to the storm shelter is in the notch between the quiet room and the stairs. This shelter holds up to 25 people. The partial wall beside the ladder holds the emergency supplies. The storage buckets convert to commodes, so one is customarily placed behind that wall with a curtain for privacy. Here is a look at some other community tornado shelters.
Office 1 is for couples counseling. The Power and Control Wheel hangs to the left of the door. The Relationship Health Check is on the door. The Equality Wheel hangs to the right of door.
The large meeting room upstairs is the multipurpose room, used for the bigger group therapy sessions and classes such as yoga. It has posters on Be Kind To Your Mind with speech bubbles, group rules, the 8 Limbs of Yoga, and a large yogasanas chart.
Behind the Tranquility Counseling Center lies a healing garden in the center of the block they share with several other buildings. It features small patches of lawn broken up by flowerbeds and a rocky stream. Walking paths provide access to several sitting areas.
This is the Omaha Weather Station floor plan. The upper left corner is the quiet room, which provides storm protection when necessary. Lined with acoustic foam, this room offers several couches and foam blocks for employees to relax from a stressful job. It also serves as emergency crash space for people who get stuck at work due to bad weather because they had to stay and report on it.
Santosha is the study of contentment through yoga. Learn how to practice it.
Couples yoga, or partner yoga, features asanas with postures that require two people. It has many benefits, especially for people in therapy for a troubled relationship, because it requires teamwork and makes you more aware of each other. Calliope and Vagary are not ready to work at this level, but the premise is sound, and they can work on easier stuff with an eye toward building up enough experience to make couples yoga safe to consider. Here are some dual poses for beginners.
People question whether an unhealthy relationship can become healthy. Well, that's like asking whether an unhealthy body can become healthy. Some problems are fixable, while others aren't. Problems require work to solve. Some of what Callipe and Vagary face is fixable, and some they'll just have to learn to work around. The fact that they're both willing to work on it is an excellent sign, though. There are steps to take for improving a bad relationship, including some that don't rely primarily on talking about it.
Loving touch can help people reconnect after stressful experiences such as sexual abuse. It also builds intimacy, which should be done slowly to avoid overstraining anyone's boundaries. Browse a list of sensual and nonsexual touches.
Bodyworkers have learned that people often store emotional pain in the body, where it proceeds to cause all kinds of problems. Here is one example of a chart that maps common symptoms and their root causes. If you cannot identify a physical cause for pain, consider digging for an emotional one.
Along the stages of intimacy, hand to hand is typically the first point of physical contact. Touching shoulders or other body parts is more intimate. A good rule of thumb is to start at the outside and move in, provided both people are comfortable with advancing the intimacy.
Tornadoes can form in various ways. Among them are the high generation of a rotating cloud which reaches downward, and the lower generation of a horizontally rotating tube which tilts vertically to connect ground and sky. Know how to prepare for a tornado before and during the storm. Take cover in a storm cellar or other shelter. You can make or buy a tornado survival kit for home or office use. T-American safety regulations require that areas prone to tornados must have storm shelters sufficient to protect their population; small public places such as bus stops often have an in-ground shelter, while larger ones like malls or schools have either a basement or central multi-use area. Homes and businesses are expected to stock appropriately sized disaster kits.
In the early stages, a rotating cloud begins to project downward. Big wide tornadoes are difficult to disrupt or deflect, akin to miniature hurricanes. The little skinny ones can sometimes be disrupted, but are easy to deflect -- any touch will do it, just like touching a spinning top will make it bounce away in a random direction or sometimes topple. However, air is heavy due to atmospheric pressure. Changing any substantial mass of air therefore requires a LOT of energy.
A squall line is an extended length where conditions are right for forming violent weather. They can seed tornadoes across several states, often causing catastrophic damage.
Check out some stormchasing apps. These are fun for armchair meteorologists, but also useful in disaster preparedness.
Dr. Pete's Recovery Drink is a fortified chocolate milk. In Terramagne-America, this sort of thing is widely available, and you can even find it made with clinical-grade chocolate.
Picky Bars are good energy snacks that come in almond and other flavors.
Yay!
Date: 2017-03-26 04:10 am (UTC)I am flattered by all the time and attention you're giving to this. Especially since you don't agree with all of it.
Re: Yay!
Date: 2017-03-26 04:13 am (UTC)Re: Yay!
Date: 2017-03-26 04:16 am (UTC)Yay! :D This series is among my most emotionally complex, because there are no easy answers. Talking with readers makes that a richer process.
>> And the live discussion with the person actually MAKING the art is super-concentrated tastiness. :D <<
I'm enjoying it too!
Re: Yay!
Date: 2017-03-26 04:33 am (UTC)>> In theory, they could investigate having it severed if they could find a superpower that would do that. In practice, it would be like amputating a limb: unpleasant, risky, and they'd probably lose more than they'd gain. That would be worth pursuing if they were stuck tighter and/or more violent together, but as it is, the present situation is distasteful rather than intolerable (to them). <<
I thought I remembered a mention of something along these lines.
>> They're kind of stuck with each other, and lucky that the bond isn't worse than it is. <<
At some point, tolerance either frays or evolves into something else, if the situation comes up often enough. One can tolerate and/or ignore a minor irritation, not a major disruption of one’s life.
http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/10702348.html
>> Vagary strikes me as someone who, with the right experiences, could make the leap from childish beginner (lack of complexity in worldview) to expert listener's beginner's mind (deliberate, mindful acceptance of complexity that still finds a simple stillness) precisely *because* of his eccentricity, without him having to spend forever in screwed-up-young-adult trying-to-control-the-world. While Calliope strikes me as the action hera who doesn't want to go the detached sage route but rather the activist, magician, or family-builder/home-defender route, of gaining wisdom/spiritual power through wise action and actively building a better world <<
Still think this, but I couldn’t articulate it now and I’m pleased that past-me managed to do so.
>> I feel very strongly that it is not her moral obligation as a *person* to be a better victim and do less damage to someone grabbing her. <<
Still relevant. I wonder how she’d handle discussing this topic with someone who was a *victim* of an actual attempted assault, and bounced it off with new superpowers, did damage, and felt bad afterwards.
https://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/10839839.html
>>She thought about that. Never come
near me again was a lost cause.
Don't touch me fared little better.<<
This quote encapsulates what bothers me about this sub-series.
Exploring the dynamics of an involuntary bond is actually really good and really important, in my mind. Reveling the awkwardness and the way it drags up other issues helps too. But there’s a narrow, nuanced gray area between exploring something, and seeming to endorse it, and sometimes this series seems to lean into the latter. I want Calliope to *win*, but *what* I want her to win is a functional relationship, not a fight.
Regarding allowing the characters to dive into the pain and mess of discussing the rape viewpoint on their bond and subsequent actions: I think you may NEED to go there eventually to resolve some of what has been brought up. Sometimes the infection has to be scrubbed out for things to heal up right. But I don’t the characters are, or the series is, quite at the point for that to fit right yet. Calliope and Vagary need another load-bearing support. I think counseling and superheroing together could be two pieces of what they ened, and then one or two more things that work could stabilize them enough to go there.
As much as I love your work exploring and celebrating healthy touch as a coping skill, I DON’T think that’s what will be it for them.
In fact … trying dancing and having it blow up could be a turning point for them if Calliope *doesn’t* dump on Vagary for it, and Vagary doesn’t automatically blame himself for 110% of everything, and they *both* say no to their therapist *in agreement.* For which he would probably buy them ice cream or similar.
>> In reality, that kind of sudden involuntary intimacy is appalling to most people, and they shy away from it.
The fact that Vagary doesn't do that, isn't because he did this on purpose. It's because some of his damage expresses itself in poor boundaries. That's closer to someone cuddling up to an abuser because they're starved for affection, than it is to a healthy relationship. He craves contact in a way that makes him vulnerable to certain types of exploitation. <<
And THIS suddenly made Vagary make a lot more sense and seem more sympathetic to me.
>> Another way to look at this is akin to unplanned pregnancy. To Calliope, it's an accident, and she doesn't want it; she would prefer to make it go away and pretend it never happened. To Vagary, it's a surprise; he didn't intend it, but now that it's happened, he wants it. <<
*wince* And THIS makes sense too. Owch.
>> The fact that Vagary feels guilty means that he tends to give Calliope whatever she wants if he can, and she tends to trample him because she blames him for the whole mess (which is partially true), which combines to mean the relationship has very little in the way of brakes. This is not healthy. <<
I’m familiar with a low-key version of that dynamic, and it SUCKS, even when both people are actively working on and working around it. Irrational guilt caused by depression makes it easy to get sucked into that kind of spiraling miscommunication. So does anxiously pushing and pushing to try to find a limit or resolution.
>> Action did not exist in isolation, but
found meaning only in relationship;
and without understanding that
relationship, any action chosen
could only lead to conflict. <<
This, I think, is the central concern of this sub-series . Not superpowers, or superpowered adventures, or trans issues, or queer issues, or interpersonal violence, or even the inadvertent bond itself, but the labor and craft of making meaning out of an accidental intimacy with endless ripple effects in one’s life.
In case it's not clear, I really love this sub-series even when parts of it make me wince.
Some of my favorite works ever are those that take a problematic topic, deal with it unflinchingly (including showing the good pieces of something bad without undercutting the bad parts) and show characters transcending their situation by ultimately making meaningful use of the things that could have been life-wrecking. I think this may end up there for me, but at the moment there's a lot of dynamic tension that could go many different ways.
Re: Yay!
Date: 2017-03-26 08:35 am (UTC)That's true. Because they're actively working on this, I think they'll succeed in expanding enough space to get by in.
I will also point out, a few people have the skill to endure immense hardship. Probably not these two -- either they'll grow together, or tear each other apart -- but it has been done.
>>Still think this, but I couldn’t articulate it now and I’m pleased that past-me managed to do so.<<
Those paths do have potential.
>> I feel very strongly that it is not her moral obligation as a *person* to be a better victim and do less damage to someone grabbing her.
Still relevant. I wonder how she’d handle discussing this topic with someone who was a *victim* of an actual attempted assault, and bounced it off with new superpowers, did damage, and felt bad afterwards.<<
That would be a very painful but very useful conversation. I am having a hard time thinking of how to set it up, though. Once again, it'd be easy if Calliope was going to any of the groups or classes, but she's not, and that's one area where nobody's pushing her -- probably because it doesn't relate directly to the bond and is therefore supposed to be optional. She does have a gender coach and some trans friends, but I don't know if she does to any support groups for that. Thoughts?
>>She thought about that. Never come
near me again was a lost cause.
Don't touch me fared little better.
This quote encapsulates what bothers me about this sub-series.<<
Okay ...
>> Exploring the dynamics of an involuntary bond is actually really good and really important, in my mind. Reveling the awkwardness and the way it drags up other issues helps too. <<
Fair enough.
>> But there’s a narrow, nuanced gray area between exploring something, and seeming to endorse it, and sometimes this series seems to lean into the latter. <<
I'm not in favor of purposely forcing a bond. But like a pregnancy, such things are better prevented than trying to fix after the fact -- because even if it can be done, there's a certain irreducible toll of risk and hardship entailed. Once it happens, people have to deal with it. There are better ways and worse ways, and the better ones don't happen often just because the situation sucks.
Once two people get stuck together metaphysically, they can either accept it or reject it, and it's not rare for them to split on that. If feasible, I think separation is often the best idea, but it's not always available or safe.
I also think it would be prudent for people to stop and consider each other as possible partners. Is the other one decent? Are they at all compatible? Calliope didn't put any thought into her knee-jerk rejection. (That's her option.) Vagary did some, but I suspect his desire for belonging made it a very minimal, "Not a nutjob? Okay fine." If you don't think about how it might have gone had you met some other way, you might make a bad choice in rejecting or accepting the wrong person.
Trying to find a solution that is at least amicable is preferable to fighting, so long as both parties are willing. But fighting, risking a dangerous severance, and killing in self-defense are all preferable to accepting abuse.
One of the positive things I see in this series is feeling out the boundaries of their personal ethics, what they will tolerate from each other or permit for themselves. As clumsy and pained as their relations are, they do both agree that they neither want to abuse the other nor be abused. That point of ethical common ground is what got them into therapy and has kept this from being a complete disaster.
>> I want Calliope to *win*, but *what* I want her to win is a functional relationship, not a fight.<<
Agreed, but the former is much harder to win than the latter.
>> Regarding allowing the characters to dive into the pain and mess of discussing the rape viewpoint on their bond and subsequent actions: I think you may NEED to go there eventually to resolve some of what has been brought up. <<
That's entirely possible. I just want to be careful about, hm, not misleading readers about the direction.
>> Sometimes the infection has to be scrubbed out for things to heal up right. <<
I think that applies to their whole bond. Parts of it are doing well, but the imbalance prevents it from being really healthy. Looking at the way Calliope limps on it, I am starting to think it's acting like any foreign body: getting infected. 0_o
>> But I don’t the characters are, or the series is, quite at the point for that to fit right yet.<<
Not quite.
>> Calliope and Vagary need another load-bearing support. I think counseling and superheroing together could be two pieces of what they ened, and then one or two more things that work could stabilize them enough to go there.<<
That's possible. I'm open to ideas.
>> As much as I love your work exploring and celebrating healthy touch as a coping skill, I DON’T think that’s what will be it for them.<<
It's something they'll need to develop eventually, because if they keep flinching like they have been, sooner or later someone's going to get hurt. But they may not be ready for it, or comfortable with it.
>> In fact … trying dancing and having it blow up could be a turning point for them if Calliope *doesn’t* dump on Vagary for it, and Vagary doesn’t automatically blame himself for 110% of everything, <<
Or if they can at least work their way through what went wrong and why. *chuckle* It occurs to me that one obstacle to dancing is that Calliope may never have learned the female/following role and probably does know the male/leading role. Awwwwkward.
Who do you think is more likely to notice it's not working and call it quits?
>> and they *both* say no to their therapist *in agreement.* For which he would probably buy them ice cream or similar. <<
I like this idea.
>> And THIS suddenly made Vagary make a lot more sense and seem more sympathetic to me. <<
Yeah. People just don't wind up in his kind of shape without reason, and most of those reasons are ugly. Plus, Kraken prefers to recruit from vulnerable youth. Vagary came out of a situation where he clearly did not get his needs met, wound up with very iffy boundaries, did not develop a typical range of social skills, and it left him with a deep craving for connection that he has attempted to meet in not-that-great ways. Like joining a supervillain organization. Okay, Kraken is the top of the heap, but they are still supervillains. It's not an ideal life path.
I suspect we've only seen the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Vagary's damage.
>> *wince* And THIS makes sense too. Owch. <<
Either of them talking to someone who had to deal with an unplanned pregnancy could get a real "Aha!" insight into the other's perspective.
It's especially apt considering the bond has a mind of its own -- not a separate person like a baby, exactly, but kind of like how a penis can get very different ideas than the brain or the heart, and how the animal-instinct parts of the brain can hijack the rational part. In some ways the bond is like a dog that jumps on people, demands attention, winds the leash around them, and knocks over the picnic table. This situation is not helped by Vagary letting it eat off the table and Calliope trying to kick it every time it comes near.
>> I’m familiar with a low-key version of that dynamic, and it SUCKS, even when both people are actively working on and working around it. Irrational guilt caused by depression makes it easy to get sucked into that kind of spiraling miscommunication.<<
Yeah. I've run into something similar myself, although it's more a matter of me being naturally assertive and my partner being more easygoing. Not a disaster, but it has taken a lot of work from both of us to learn how to work as a team. Ironically, one of the things he does for me is provide some of the brakes I don't have.
>> So does anxiously pushing and pushing to try to find a limit or resolution. <<
Ah! I think you've just pinpointed one of the things that Vagary needs. He wants someone to set boundaries for him, because it's so hard for him to find his own. Vagary pushes, not just because he craves closeness (which he does) but because he needs Calliope to draw lines (which she does). If he could be more clear about this, and she could be a little less rough, that would help a lot. But I don't think Vagary realizes he's doing it, even though he's been pretty explicit about asking for it.
>> This, I think, is the central concern of this sub-series . Not superpowers, or superpowered adventures, or trans issues, or queer issues, or interpersonal violence, or even the inadvertent bond itself, but the labor and craft of making meaning out of an accidental intimacy with endless ripple effects in one’s life.<<
Sooth.
>> In case it's not clear, I really love this sub-series even when parts of it make me wince.<<
Yay! :D
>> Some of my favorite works ever are those that take a problematic topic, deal with it unflinchingly (including showing the good pieces of something bad without undercutting the bad parts) and show characters transcending their situation by ultimately making meaningful use of the things that could have been life-wrecking.<<
Agreed.
>> I think this may end up there for me, but at the moment there's a lot of dynamic tension that could go many different ways. <<
Part of that is how subsequent prompts interact with the earliest ones. Some readers have different ideas how the relationship should go, which I think adds verisimilitude to a situation where two complicated people are tripping all over each other.
By all means, prompt for what you want to see. Let me know if you'd like to hear the spoilers for future ideas I have. There's a fair bit that has been set up by previous stuff, not all played out yet.
Re: Yay!
Date: 2017-03-28 06:11 pm (UTC)The back and forth is part of what’s interesting.
>> Ah! I think you've just pinpointed one of the things that Vagary needs. He wants someone to set boundaries for him, because it's so hard for him to find his own. Vagary pushes, not just because he craves closeness (which he does) but because he needs Calliope to draw lines (which she does). If he could be more clear about this, and she could be a little less rough, that would help a lot. But I don't think Vagary realizes he's doing it, even though he's been pretty explicit about asking for it. <<
I agree. He doesn’t seem to realize that part of his drive to try to get closer and closer is to find the SAFE, REASONABLE limit of closeness - not what gets him shoved away one day, hit another, and resentfully ignored a third, but what gets a simple line drawn without nastiness, but WITH consequences for crossing it.
The trouble is, the lines that Calliope would ideally have liked to have drawn have all been trampled and scuffed over already. She has to redraw them somewhere, and his wandering back and forth over everything she tries to set up doesn’t help.
There is something that does help, though. The way that he CAN and WILL respond promptly and positively to her drawing a sufficiently explicit line and telling him what topic to study up on is what gives me hope for them. It means he’s actually MODELING line-following and positive responses to line-setting at the same time as he’s FIXING his violations of her boundaries. And that Vagary did draw a line about hitting from Calliope *should* help, but I actually don’t think it’s settled in for her yet, because he drew that line for her in the context of violating her boundaries, which resulted in a very mixed message. So it needs to happen again about something different without that ambiguity - maybe her name-calling him or someone in Kraken, though they seems to have died down.
Sometimes Vagary’s line-scuffing is with Mr. Gallager unintentionally encouraging it! Their discussion of couples yoga was INCREDIBLY tone deaf on his part, in my opinion, unless there was quite a bit he had yet to say that got interrupted by the tornado; I think he NEEDED to validate Calliope’s discomfort with the topic before, during, and after talking about WHY Vagary liked the idea and what was good about it. The mention that uncomfortable touch wasn’t helpful didn’t get enough emphasis, I think. But now that that conversation has happened, I like the idea of the two of them trying to follow through on the suggestions given and figuring out mutually that it’s not a good idea.
Re: Yay!
Date: 2017-03-30 02:43 am (UTC):D I'm glad it works for you.
>> I agree. He doesn’t seem to realize that part of his drive to try to get closer and closer is to find the SAFE, REASONABLE limit of closeness <<
Vagary doesn't realize that yet. His own boundaries are a mess. Part of that is him not respecting Calliope's boundaries well, but part is not protecting his own. A healthy person would be upset by that kind of involuntary violation. Vagary's boundaries are so flimsy, he thinks it's okay. That makes him less miserable. It doesn't make him healthy.
>> not what gets him shoved away one day, hit another, and resentfully ignored a third, but what gets a simple line drawn without nastiness, but WITH consequences for crossing it. <<
Yyyyeah. Not good.
>> The trouble is, the lines that Calliope would ideally have liked to have drawn have all been trampled and scuffed over already. She has to redraw them somewhere, and his wandering back and forth over everything she tries to set up doesn’t help. <<
Unfortunately true.
On the bright side, Vagary is trying, which means that when given clear enough instructions that the bond doesn't override, he can and will follow them. They're making some progress with this.
They also haven't made much exploration into the parts of Calliope's life that the bond doesn't control. Vagary has stumbled into a few extra things, but hasn't deliberately gone looking for them. Highlighting more of this might help her see what she has left that he's not involved with. For instance, he hasn't tried to talk her out of being a superhera, hasn't breathed a word about her secret identity, and never bothers her about the gender stuff. I don't think he's even mentioned yet that he worries about her changing back to Calvin as a cover, that it's bad for her -- he feels it is absolutely none of his business.
>> There is something that does help, though. The way that he CAN and WILL respond promptly and positively to her drawing a sufficiently explicit line and telling him what topic to study up on is what gives me hope for them. <<
Exactly.
>> It means he’s actually MODELING line-following and positive responses to line-setting at the same time as he’s FIXING his violations of her boundaries. <<
Yay, progress!
>> And that Vagary did draw a line about hitting from Calliope *should* help, but I actually don’t think it’s settled in for her yet, because he drew that line for her in the context of violating her boundaries, which resulted in a very mixed message. <<
Mixed message, because they were enmeshed when it happened, both crossing each other's lines. And that's not an accident, it's a known risk of overstraining a bond, you get personality leakage.
>> So it needs to happen again about something different without that ambiguity - maybe her name-calling him or someone in Kraken, though they seems to have died down. <<
That would help.
>> Sometimes Vagary’s line-scuffing is with Mr. Gallager unintentionally encouraging it! Their discussion of couples yoga was INCREDIBLY tone deaf on his part, in my opinion, unless there was quite a bit he had yet to say that got interrupted by the tornado; <<
There was more -- and also, both Vagary and Mr. Gallagar know what's in the couples yoga program. It's about communication, balance, boundaries, and trust. Exactly what they need to learn. But it's also way, way beyond what they're capable of right now, in addition to beyond what Calliope would want. A hopeless wish, from Vagary's perspective; oh hell no from Calliope's; but Mr. Gallagar could see the useful aspects and was trying to find nerfed versions that might be achievable from current levels. If he'd just said "No, Calliope hates the whole concept" that would've been crushing to Vagary.
>> I think he NEEDED to validate Calliope’s discomfort with the topic before, during, and after talking about WHY Vagary liked the idea and what was good about it. <<
Yeah, they never got anywhere near Calliope's feelings on the topic. Such as you can't trust someone you don't know, and especially can't trust someone you've seen screwing off. How could she know he wouldn't slip and dump her on the floor, accidentally or on purpose? Well, they could go to a solo yoga class, stand on opposite corners, observe each other, and that'd feed the bond.
>> The mention that uncomfortable touch wasn’t helpful didn’t get enough emphasis, I think. But now that that conversation has happened, I like the idea of the two of them trying to follow through on the suggestions given and figuring out mutually that it’s not a good idea.<<
It's a start. The tornado really did interrupt a whole therapy session, so what's left is awkward. If they try touching and it doesn't work out, though, they might eventually think of what amounts to parallel play.
Heck, they could try yoga side by side in spaces taped on the floor. Calliope would be much more comfortable with that. Vagary would go along with it, and after a while, he'd hate it. Start feeling downright claustrophic, because even a taped line would make him seem boxed in -- not just cut off from Calliope but like he was trying to shut out everyone else too. And she'd just stare at him, because that's what boundaries are for, to keep you distinct from other people. If you took the tape and made all the different boxes, and asked which was most comfortable, I swear he'd go right for the one he actually has, which is almost no boundaries. Calliope would go for the solid one. But if you asked her what her boundaries were before the bond, she'd probably pick the healthy semi-permeable one, although her boundaries were a little more rigid than ideal due to the trans issue. What you see now is backlash, a tensing of boundaries in attempt to close a breach that won't close. Boundaries are complicated.
It's also worth looking at the different types of boundaries and which are infringed in this relationship. Here's a basic set of six: personal, emotional, mental, material, physical, spiritual.
* Personal boundaries are thoroughly ruptured by the bond.
* Emotional boundaries are infringed by the bond, and by Calliope's empathy: she can read Vagary's emotions, and rains hers on him, if they're not trying to shield each other out.
* Mental boundaries are similarly infringed by Vagary's telepathy: he can skim what thoughts Calliope broadcasts, and project his own, unless they're trying to block that.
However, the amount of ordinary prying into each other's thoughts and feelings is more limited. Vagary has stumbled into some of it, but mostly the revelations are in therapy. Calliope doesn't give a shit about his, which is a whole different problem.
* Material boundaries have only been violated by Vagary trespassing. Despite being a supervillain, he has made zero effort to rob her. I don't think I've even seen them arguing over who pays for lunch.
* Physical boundaries started off with Vagary being the total aggressor: kidnapping, drugging, etc. The later incident blew up when he grabbed Calliope and she busted his lip for it. However, this is one of the few places they agree on a boundary: neither of them wants constant brawling. The problem may not be solved, but it's not a conflict. Negotiation of nonviolent touch is a current issue for reasons of bond and past violations.
* Spiritual boundaries may be considered violated on a soul level, because that's how bonds work; but they've made zero efforts to infringe on each other's religious beliefs or practices.
Come to think of it, they're not even arguing much about cape politics, which is interesting. They're on opposite sides, sure, but neither has made an attempt to force the other across that line.
Here's a longer list, and a fair number of these are things the relationship hasn't even touched on.
I suspect if Calliope had a map of where their lives don't overlap, she'd spend more time in those areas. Sooner or later, the bond would start pulling at them. If she notices it first -- say because Vagary is off in a cuddle-pile of his own somewhere -- then maybe it'd give her a clue. But I wouldn't be surprised to hear her chew him out for not maintaining the bond and keeping it out of her hair, even though she's done nothing but snap at him for getting too close. She takes him for granted, and I'm pretty sure she thinks of the bond as "his problem" instead of a mutual responsibility, especially since Vagary has been doing all the maintenance work on it thus far.
So, there's potential both for improvement or whole new problems.
Re: Yay!
Date: 2017-03-28 06:13 pm (UTC)Agreed, but seeing his kid-like aspects does activate some sympathy that wouldn’t otherwise be present. Calliope has hers, too, but - oh so that’s what it is - she feels to me like the exasperated female older teen stuck with a barely-adolescent brother who just. won’t. stop. grabbing. her. stuff. Their mature adult (such as they are) and superhero aspects are glued on a bit badly, sometimes.
>> it left him with a deep craving for connection that he has attempted to meet in not-that-great ways. <<
Noted.
>> I suspect we've only seen the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Vagary's damage. <<
Probably. At the same time, I think that it’s not entirely necessary to the series at this point , any more than Calliope being more messed up about her gender would be helpful. It will come up, sure but deeply delving into it feel like it would take away from the more interesting dynamic of the characters in their present.
>> Either of them talking to someone who had to deal with an unplanned pregnancy could get a real "Aha!" insight into the other's perspective. <<
Maybe so. Though it might also feel a bit on the nose, depending on whether they got a mismatch in terms of talking to the person who is just deeeelighted or the one who is *so done*.
***
>> In some ways the bond is like a dog that jumps on people, demands attention, winds the leash around them, and knocks over the picnic table. This situation is not helped by Vagary letting it eat off the table and Calliope trying to kick it every time it comes near. <<
I LOVE that metaphor for the whole situation, and am now wondering what they could get out of working with some people who work with animals! Could going to a dog park be one of their outings, perhaps? Lots of opportunity for lively instructive examples. And some safe touch for Vagary that doesn’t come from Calliope! And a chance for Calliope to see physical boundaries set *without* aggression.
>> Ah! I think you've just pinpointed one of the things that Vagary needs. He wants someone to set boundaries for him, because it's so hard for him to find his own. Vagary pushes, not just because he craves closeness (which he does) but because he needs Calliope to draw lines (which she does). If he could be more clear about this, and she could be a little less rough, that would help a lot. <<
That rings true. And that dynamic can play out in a *lot* of different ways in the same relationship, from doing it well or badly in the moment, to pre-planning, to post-event analysis, to deliberate role swapping, to throwing up one’s hands and saying ‘this time you’ve got to figure it out for yourself, too much work already’.
>> Part of that is how subsequent prompts interact with the earliest ones. Some readers have different ideas how the relationship should go, which I think adds verisimilitude to a situation where two complicated people are tripping all over each other. <<
I’m excited about that part, honestly.
>> By all means, prompt for what you want to see. Let me know if you'd like to hear the spoilers for future ideas I have. There's a fair bit that has been set up by previous stuff, not all played out yet. <<
Hmmm…tempting, tempting. I think my best judgment is to wait until it becomes relevant, but I’ll still enjoy reading the eventual posted poems just as much if I do have advance information, so if it IS relevant, you can certainly tell me.
I WILL be prompting! :D