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ysabetwordsmithThis short story is a piece of fanfic for the apocryphal television show Schrodinger's Heroes, somewhat inspired by recent conversations with my audience regarding the Bechdel test. Begin with Part 1 and Part 2.
"Hi, Dusty, it's Midge." The reporter held the phone against her ear with one shoulder as she sharpened a small knife. "Things are looking strange around here again. I thought I'd call and see how you're settling in."
"You're not bothering the people at Schrodinger's again, are you?" said Dusty, her voice sharpening.
"Nah, they let me in the front door this time. I think Alex wants a favor, but something went off around the time I got here, so we haven't had a chance to talk about it yet," said Midge. "How do you like San Francisco?"
"I like it," said Dusty. "You were right about blending in. Nobody looks twice at me here. I really appreciate all your help with the forged papers."
"Least I could do for a sister," Midge said. "I know you didn't exactly plan to stay in this dimension ..."
"It's working out for me," said Dusty. "Given a choice, I wouldn't want to go back there anyway."
"So what have you been up to?" Midge asked.
"All I really know is battle, so I decided to put together a mercenary team. I figure every dimension must have conflicts in it," said Dusty.
"Oh yeah, we got plenty of those!" said Midge. "Have you found anybody yet?"
"So far I've got two solid team members. Angel specializes in aerial work: she can pilot aircraft, fly a hang-glider, and rig a spy camera to a frisbee," said Dusty.
Midge laughed. "I want to meet this gal."
"We might make it out your way sometime," said Dusty. "Marion does missile weapons. She's a crack shot with a rifle, or a grenade launcher, or a longbow. She can even use a blowgun."
"Wow, I bet she never has any trouble getting dates," said Midge.
"The two of them are breaking in a new blind out in the practice field as we speak," said Dusty.
A sucker rat peeked out from behind a desk. Midge threw the knife. The sucker rat screeched and died.
"What was that?" asked Dusty.
"Nothing major, I just took care of a little vermin problem," said Midge. She dropped the corpse into a garbage can and cleaned her knife. "Listen, I gotta go. Things could get hairy here at any time. I need to talk with Alex and find out what's up. You take good care of yourself, Dusty. Bye."
"Bye, Midge," said Dusty.
Your Bechdel score: 33/33 points
Extra credit for women talking about combat: 5 points
Extra credit for lesbian content: 5 points
* * *
Schrodinger's Heroes also has a menu post.
Sample Conversation #3: Midge and Dusty on the Phone
"Hi, Dusty, it's Midge." The reporter held the phone against her ear with one shoulder as she sharpened a small knife. "Things are looking strange around here again. I thought I'd call and see how you're settling in."
"You're not bothering the people at Schrodinger's again, are you?" said Dusty, her voice sharpening.
"Nah, they let me in the front door this time. I think Alex wants a favor, but something went off around the time I got here, so we haven't had a chance to talk about it yet," said Midge. "How do you like San Francisco?"
"I like it," said Dusty. "You were right about blending in. Nobody looks twice at me here. I really appreciate all your help with the forged papers."
"Least I could do for a sister," Midge said. "I know you didn't exactly plan to stay in this dimension ..."
"It's working out for me," said Dusty. "Given a choice, I wouldn't want to go back there anyway."
"So what have you been up to?" Midge asked.
"All I really know is battle, so I decided to put together a mercenary team. I figure every dimension must have conflicts in it," said Dusty.
"Oh yeah, we got plenty of those!" said Midge. "Have you found anybody yet?"
"So far I've got two solid team members. Angel specializes in aerial work: she can pilot aircraft, fly a hang-glider, and rig a spy camera to a frisbee," said Dusty.
Midge laughed. "I want to meet this gal."
"We might make it out your way sometime," said Dusty. "Marion does missile weapons. She's a crack shot with a rifle, or a grenade launcher, or a longbow. She can even use a blowgun."
"Wow, I bet she never has any trouble getting dates," said Midge.
"The two of them are breaking in a new blind out in the practice field as we speak," said Dusty.
A sucker rat peeked out from behind a desk. Midge threw the knife. The sucker rat screeched and died.
"What was that?" asked Dusty.
"Nothing major, I just took care of a little vermin problem," said Midge. She dropped the corpse into a garbage can and cleaned her knife. "Listen, I gotta go. Things could get hairy here at any time. I need to talk with Alex and find out what's up. You take good care of yourself, Dusty. Bye."
"Bye, Midge," said Dusty.
Your Bechdel score: 33/33 points
Extra credit for women talking about combat: 5 points
Extra credit for lesbian content: 5 points
* * *
Schrodinger's Heroes also has a menu post.
