You Don't Have to Stay
Apr. 25th, 2026 08:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThe Game Is Rigged And You Don't Have To Stay
Most people don't leave because they think they can't. Not because of money. Not because of the kids. Because nobody ever said out loud that leaving is a rational choice.
If you are unhappy with your life, do something about it. If you only have one or a few issues, then it makes sense to try fixing them first. But if you hate most or all things about your job, where you live, your family, whatever -- then leaving IS a rational choice. See Introduction to Goal-Setting Frameworks for ideas about making logical decisions. As long as you are a legal adult, you have the right to leave situations that don't suit you. It's not selfish to stay alive.
Understand the difference between what leaving will definitely fix, what it might fix, and what it won't fix.
* If you hate the work, the place, or the people -- or they hate you -- then walk away. Being gay in Florida is ghastly; being gay in California is much better.
* If you aren't making enough to live on, you might look for a better job or a cheaper place to live. There's no guarantee but it's worth exploring.
* If you don't like the culture around you, look for or work on building something better. It may or may not work out, but you'll learn things by trying.
* If your problems are primarily internal or interactive, leaving probably won't fix that; but you might look for ways to improve your skills or change other elements that might help more.
I'm Jason — and a few years ago my family was doing everything right and slowly disappearing inside it. Good job, real income, responsible choices. And every year there was a little less of us left at the end of it.
A good job pays enough to live on and has decent benefits. There are few good jobs left nowadays, if you're working for someone else. But there's more to it than that. A good job adds to your life experience and sense of accomplishment. Some of these exist, more among the self-employed, but some employers are still good.
A job that drains you is an active threat to your safety and survival, even if it pays well and looks good on paper. Stress-related conditions both mental and physical can do permanent damage, especially anything heat-related in an age of climate change. Burnout in particular can destroy things that never recover. If you don't feel like you can leave, ask yourself what would happen if your current circumstances crippled or killed you.
So we bought raw land we could barely afford and built a life from scratch. Failed constantly at first. Figured it out eventually. Left once to go back to the city because I thought I was finally good enough to beat the system. Learned I wasn't. Came home for good.
Homesteading is just one path that some people choose when the mainstream becomes untenable. Entrepreneurship is another. Other folks go into volunteering to create meaning, or they take up a hobby like gardening or knitting that turns hard work into concrete rewards. It doesn't matter what you do; it's about doing things that matter to you.
This isn't a "quit your job and move to the woods" video. It's a permission slip for the responsible, burned-out person who suspects the game is rigged but has never heard anyone say it plainly.
The game is rigged. The math is real. And you're allowed to find a different one.
Well said. Mainstream society is profoundly broken in a lot of ways, including the economy. There are other options. Making a better life, or making the world a better place, starts with acknowledging the ways in which the current situation is unbearable.
Of course, then you have to figure out what you do want, what will help you survive and find meaning. Some resources...
15 Ways to Find Your Purpose of Life & Realize Your Meaning
100 Questions to Ask Yourself
CORE VALUES CLARIFICATION EXERCISE
Creating a Wheel of Life: A helpful tool to take a snapshot of your life
Creating Your Zesty Life
Finding Purpose Practice Book
HOW TO BEFRIEND YOURSELF: 10 IDEAS TO DEEPEN SELF-AWARENESS AND SELF-TRUST
IT’S TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT & GET IT
Learning Styles
Making Decisions in The Relationship: A Collaborative Approach
Multiple Intelligences (MI) Inventory
Self-Awareness: Who am I?
Remember, the future is made of choices the way a river is made of raindrops.
Most people don't leave because they think they can't. Not because of money. Not because of the kids. Because nobody ever said out loud that leaving is a rational choice.
If you are unhappy with your life, do something about it. If you only have one or a few issues, then it makes sense to try fixing them first. But if you hate most or all things about your job, where you live, your family, whatever -- then leaving IS a rational choice. See Introduction to Goal-Setting Frameworks for ideas about making logical decisions. As long as you are a legal adult, you have the right to leave situations that don't suit you. It's not selfish to stay alive.
Understand the difference between what leaving will definitely fix, what it might fix, and what it won't fix.
* If you hate the work, the place, or the people -- or they hate you -- then walk away. Being gay in Florida is ghastly; being gay in California is much better.
* If you aren't making enough to live on, you might look for a better job or a cheaper place to live. There's no guarantee but it's worth exploring.
* If you don't like the culture around you, look for or work on building something better. It may or may not work out, but you'll learn things by trying.
* If your problems are primarily internal or interactive, leaving probably won't fix that; but you might look for ways to improve your skills or change other elements that might help more.
I'm Jason — and a few years ago my family was doing everything right and slowly disappearing inside it. Good job, real income, responsible choices. And every year there was a little less of us left at the end of it.
A good job pays enough to live on and has decent benefits. There are few good jobs left nowadays, if you're working for someone else. But there's more to it than that. A good job adds to your life experience and sense of accomplishment. Some of these exist, more among the self-employed, but some employers are still good.
A job that drains you is an active threat to your safety and survival, even if it pays well and looks good on paper. Stress-related conditions both mental and physical can do permanent damage, especially anything heat-related in an age of climate change. Burnout in particular can destroy things that never recover. If you don't feel like you can leave, ask yourself what would happen if your current circumstances crippled or killed you.
So we bought raw land we could barely afford and built a life from scratch. Failed constantly at first. Figured it out eventually. Left once to go back to the city because I thought I was finally good enough to beat the system. Learned I wasn't. Came home for good.
Homesteading is just one path that some people choose when the mainstream becomes untenable. Entrepreneurship is another. Other folks go into volunteering to create meaning, or they take up a hobby like gardening or knitting that turns hard work into concrete rewards. It doesn't matter what you do; it's about doing things that matter to you.
This isn't a "quit your job and move to the woods" video. It's a permission slip for the responsible, burned-out person who suspects the game is rigged but has never heard anyone say it plainly.
The game is rigged. The math is real. And you're allowed to find a different one.
Well said. Mainstream society is profoundly broken in a lot of ways, including the economy. There are other options. Making a better life, or making the world a better place, starts with acknowledging the ways in which the current situation is unbearable.
Of course, then you have to figure out what you do want, what will help you survive and find meaning. Some resources...
15 Ways to Find Your Purpose of Life & Realize Your Meaning
100 Questions to Ask Yourself
CORE VALUES CLARIFICATION EXERCISE
Creating a Wheel of Life: A helpful tool to take a snapshot of your life
Creating Your Zesty Life
Finding Purpose Practice Book
HOW TO BEFRIEND YOURSELF: 10 IDEAS TO DEEPEN SELF-AWARENESS AND SELF-TRUST
IT’S TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT & GET IT
Learning Styles
Making Decisions in The Relationship: A Collaborative Approach
Multiple Intelligences (MI) Inventory
Self-Awareness: Who am I?
Remember, the future is made of choices the way a river is made of raindrops.
