Poem: "The Best Drivers in the World"
Sep. 23rd, 2022 03:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem came out of the August 16, 2022 bonus fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from dialecticdreamer . It also fills the "He's right behind me, isn't he?" square in my 8-1-22 card for the Reel Time Bingo fest. This poem is posted in memory of Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Broken Angels and China's Mistake threads of the Polychrome Heroics series.
Warning: This poem contains intense and controversial topics. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. It includes reference to past attempted industrial espionage, reference to targeted theft of Chinese cars for demolition entertainment, supervillains and blue-plate specials and first responders all testing new cars together, safety angst, gambling with cookie coins, motion sickness with vomiting, emotional upset over ethical issues, reference to strongmen having difficulty finding cuddle partners, and other challenges. It's mostly upbeat, though. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"The Best Drivers in the World"
[Saturday, September 10, 2016]
The Lincoln SCCA Solo Grounds hadn't
been keen on hosting experimental cars,
so instead the testing had been booked at
the Integrated First Responder Fitness Center.
It had a robust dirt track used for foot races,
bike races, motorcycle races, and testing
various types of emergency vehicles.
Boss Blaster was only a little nervous
about going so deep into cop territory.
Besides, it was clearly turning into a party.
Ned Sterling and his wife were there
with all three of their kids, and Elowyn
had a box from a local bakery that she
was refusing to let anyone else touch.
Elowyn's younger brother Denis
was supposed to come too, but he
wasn't here yet because he had
to drive all the way from Omaha.
A large portion of the off-duty police
were there, because lots of folks had
taken Cash's offer of free Drive training.
Boss Blaster couldn't blame him for
wanting to poke Mercedes in the eye.
His own contribution was hiring a pit boss
from Busy Pig to come do a pig roast, though
he'd coughed up for the vegan options too,
in order to feed all those hungry people.
Thandi Blazier had arrived early, towing
a row of smoker grills with ribs, sausages,
sliced ham, and pulled pork -- or for vegans
vork nibs, vork sausages, seitan sham and chiz,
and shredded vork with vegan barbecue sauces.
The smell was already making his mouth water,
and Boss Blaster had just had breakfast.
You couldn't rush good barbecue,
though, it needed to take its time.
Boss Blaster glanced over
at the gymnasium building,
which had been converted
from an old warehouse.
What had started out
as the motor pool area for
the warehouse's delivery fleet
had become a secure garage
for the storage and repair of
emergency vehicles, such as
those used for Drive classes.
Now Bruni Ferrari leaned
against the front, which meant
Rossi Lamborghini must be
inside with the test cars.
Both companies had been
livid about China's attempted
industrial espionage, and had
volunteered to send security.
In fact, the whole thing offended
the world automotive industry
enough that they had largely
frozen out Chinese interests,
leaving others to gobble up
suddenly empty niches.
The International Organization
of Motor Vehicle Manufacturers
had issued a scathing condemnation,
and most of the countries who still
willingly dealt with Chinese vehicles
were bottom-ten dregs themselves --
but then they weren't members.
The United States, interpreting
China's behavior as an attack,
had summarily banned imports of
Chinese cars and some other things.
Germany, Australia, Norway, and
Belgium had either banned them
or slapped on fresh tariffs that went,
variously, to charities for victims of
China's oppression like Uighurs,
Falun Gong members, or soups.
Saudi Arabia and Russia were
still talking to China, but well, look
what company they were keeping.
It helped that someone had
so generously compiled a guide
on how to boycott Chinese products.
While Boss Blaster hadn't launched
as much of a car Business as originally
intended, he had enough to take advantage
of the bounty that several supervillains
had posted on Chinese-made cars.
They'd pay market value for anything
that would run, and they were making
demolition derby videos to post on V'You
using various destructive superpowers.
Chinese cars made up less than 2%
of the American market, but that
just made them interesting to hunt.
Boss Blaster might possibly
have sent an anonymous video of
said demolition derbies to the Finns.
Speaking of which, they arrived
in a tight cluster on the teleport pad
sprayed on the ground in chalk paint.
As the group broke apart, Boss Blaster
could pick out the people he recognized.
Dr. G carried a truly enormous tub
that turned out to contain gallons
of California avocado fruit salad.
Clinging to his hand, Edison
wasn't carrying food but rather
dragging a banana-yellow case.
The uppermost tray was labeled
Spare Parts, the middle two Tools,
and the bottom Raw Materials.
Flanked by Dave and Bethan,
Molly had a cloth-lined hamper
full of fragrant multigrain rolls.
Cash had naturally brought
ice cream, hauling a trolley
stacked with gallon tubs with
labels like Mango Ginger Jam,
Salmonberry Surprise, and
Rocky Mountain Road Trip.
Zipper had a cardboard case
in each hand. "I brought
artisan herbal sodas and
syrups, in case anyone
wants a different kind of
mature beverages, since
there's no alcohol here."
"Oh yay," said Elowyn.
"I get tired of sweet things.
However, I did bring a box of
sweets especially for Edison, as
thanks for sharing his test cars
with the local first responders."
The boy accepted her offering
and lifted the cardboard lid.
"Car cookies!" he exclaimed.
Boss Blaster leaned over to look.
There were yellow cars and
blue cars, detailed down to
the tiny silver door handles.
There were wrenches and
wheels with raised textures.
There were gauges of
several different kinds,
each one hand-painted
with edible black ink.
Elaborate little plaques,
each decorated with
a different set of tools,
spelled out Thank you!
in bright yellow icing
on a silver background.
Edison hugged Elowyn
with his free arm. "These
are so pretty, thanks."
"I'm glad you like them,"
said Elowyn. "I talked to
your mum, and you have
no specific cookie limit today,
as long as you eat brain food
so you don't run out of fuel."
"Yaaaay!" Edison crowed.
He stuffed two cookies in
his mouth and then ran
around in looping spirals.
"That kid has no off button,"
Boss Blaster muttered.
"You should be well
aware of that by now,"
Dr. G said, looking amused.
"He's right behind me, isn't he?"
Boss Blaster said, blushing.
"Yep," Dr. G said heartlessly.
"He snuck right up on you."
"It's okay," said Edison. "I know
I'm hard for people to keep up with.
But some are worth slowing down for."
"You never need to slow down for me,"
Boss Blaster said. "Just try to stay
where I can keep an eye on you.
Otherwise I start to get worried."
"There's plenty to watch for today,"
said Dr. G. "I confess that I feel
a little nervous about the car testing."
"I feel safe when I'm on the racetrack,
I really do," said Cash. "I know that I'm
surrounded by the best drivers in the world.
That's something you can't say when
you're driving down the interstate."
"Good point," Ned said. "Even rookies
have to pass the basic Drive course
before they're allowed to practice
with the other first responders."
Boss Blaster grinned. "Then you'll
be happy to know we managed
to get an ambulance driver here
today. They drive like demons."
"Yay!" Edison gave a happy wiggle.
"Bethan promised to teach me how
to drive when I get big enough."
"What am I, chopped liver?"
Cash said, mock-scowling.
"No, you're the advanced class,"
Edison said. "Da teaches basic
and Bethan teaches intermediate."
"Well, we also got a firefighter
and a field counselor from
the Emotions First Agency
to come," said Boss Blaster.
"Omaha is well represented."
"We should probably do
introductions," said Dr. G.
"Good idea," Boss Blaster said,
heading to find the drivers who
hadn't come from the police
and were thus less familiar.
When he got back, he said,
"Lou Cannella is a firefighter
and an engineer. He drives
the most complicated engines.
His wife Chia is a nutritionist."
"Swing by the tables later
if anyone wants a tour of
the brain food," Chia said.
"Mr. Maxwell bought us
a pig roast, so I brought
mostly snacks and sides."
"Martha Garross works
as a field counselor at
the Emotions First Agency,
which supplies experts for
mental crisis response teams
among the first responders here
in Lincoln," said Boss Blaster.
"She's taken Defensive Driving."
"Sometimes panicky people
run out into traffic," Martha said.
"This is Barachiel Brown,
who drives an ambulance,"
Boss Blaster finished.
Barachiel spotted
Zipper's T-shirt, which
read Ambulance on
the front and the back.
"You're an ambulance driver too?"
Barachiel said, brightening.
Zipper tapped his armband.
Today that held not only
the usual teleporter symbol
but also a star of life.
"I am the ambulance,"
he clarified. "I can take
a patient to a hospital without
any sense of motion, or if they
can't be moved at all, bring
a field doctor here to them."
Barachiel made a tiny eeee,
then quickly cut it off. "Wow,
a human ambulance," he said. "I
never thought I'd get to meet one."
Zipper handed him a business card.
"Call me tomorrow and we'll set up
a time to talk shop," he said with
a smile. "Today is Edison's day."
"Will do," Barachiel said, and
handed Zipper a card of his own.
"You can reach me here most of
the time, or leave a message
if I'm on duty when you call."
"Thank you," said Zipper.
"If you want to talk shop
with another driver, though,
Bethan runs the zoomwagon."
She waved, showing off
a T-shirt that read, I'm
an ambulance driver.
What's your superpower?
Barachiel gave another squeak.
"I'd love to hear about driving
a zoomwagon," he said. "I've
heard of them but never seen one."
"Sure," said Bethan, and they
headed off to talk about it.
"Someday, I want to have
self-control that good,"
Edison said wistfully.
"That was impressive,"
Dr. G agreed. "He must
have worked very hard on
that. I have faith in you too."
Edison clung to him like a burr.
"I hope so," he said. "It's hard."
"Most things worth doing are,"
said Boss Blaster. "Look,
here come your cars."
The cars rolled out,
one canary yellow,
the other bright red.
"I thought those were
going to the local police?"
someone said quietly.
"One is, and the other is
for Mr. Maxwell," Edison said.
"Definitely not our colors,"
Ned said with a chuckle.
"This is just test day paint,
so they're easy to tell apart,"
Edison said. "The final paint jobs
will go on after any design touchups.
This is a dirt track, which is great for
testing performance in field conditions,
but it's gonna leave scratches all over."
"Does that mean we can test them
in the grass too?" Barachiel said,
looking out at the field farther back.
Edison shook his head. "No, sorry,
I didn't hire anyone with Plant Powers
to repair the grass they'd tear up."
"Don't worry," Ned said, laughing.
"That field's half running buffalo clover
and half whatever else can survive
our roughhousing. It'll be fine."
"Then sure, we can test them
on the grass too," said Edison.
"Just remember that these are
designed as street vehicles,
not brush trucks, so they
don't have brush grills."
"Meaning don't drive them
into the tall weeds, got it,"
said Lou. "We'll take care."
Bruni and Rossi parked
the cars in full view and
began the final checks.
Edison bounced in place.
"This always takes a while,
so why don't we find something
fun to do?" Dr. G suggested.
"Come explore the brain food,"
Chia invited. "Elowyn asked me
to bring things for heavy mental work,
not just the usual healthy picnic snacks."
"Sounds good to me," Boss Blaster said.
Edison was already scampering ahead.
"Sunny Nuts are mixed nuts and pepitas
candied with honey, ginger, and turmeric,"
said Chia. "The bags hold a standard serving
of one-quarter cup, but high-burn folks can
take more if you need the extra calories."
Most of the soups grabbed a bag,
and some of them took several.
"The jars have carrot and celery sticks
in nut'n'seed butter," said Chia. "That's
a full serving of vegetables and healthy fat."
"Nut'n'seed butter is a family favorite,"
said Dr. G. "It hasn't quite beaten out
almond butter, but they're neck and neck."
He picked up a jar for himself, and one
for Edison. It was good brain food.
"Pay attention to the yogurt labels,"
said Chia. "I brought cream-top dairy
and dairy-free coconut, with or without
fruit on the bottom in various flavors.
Mixed berry is the most popular."
Edison tugged on his father's pants.
"Can I have some as an extra dessert?"
"Yogurt is brain food, not dessert, so
as long as the recipe is good, yes,"
said Dr. G. He checked the recipe
stuck on the glass jar. "This is great."
"Thanks," said Chia. "So those three
are the anytime snacks. Next up is
the hurricane popcorn, which comes
out when the car testing actually starts.
It's in four-cup bags, and remember
that popcorn is a healthy whole grain."
"Hurricane popcorn?" said Dr. G.
"We love homemade flavors, but
I've never even heard of that one."
"The original came from Hawaii,"
said Chia. "I make my own with
nori furikake which includes
sesame seeds, roasted seaweed,
and a little salt and sugar, held on
with olive oil and a dash of soy sauce."
"That sounds fascinating," said Dr. G.
"We have over a hundred recipes
for different flavors, but that's new."
"Gosh, I only have about eighty,"
said Chia. "We should trade!"
"Definitely," Dr. G agreed,
and they swapped cards.
Rossi sidled up to let
Boss Blaster know that
the cars were ready, and
Bruni was watching them.
"The rest of the sides are
meant to go with the barbecue
for lunch," Chia said, waving
at the row of Busy Pig smokers.
"I made caprese cherry tomato salad
since I heard about the Italian guests."
Rossi perked up. "You didn't have
to go to any extra trouble for us,
but I'm so looking forward to that."
"Yeah, Shiv makes something similar
when he scores mixed cherry tomatoes
at the farmer's market, and he taught
Cas how to make it," said Boss Blaster.
"That is amazingly good stuff."
"This one is rainbow beet salad,
which you can make with any mix
of different beets," Chia continued.
"Oh hey, you made the beet thing,"
said Barachiel. "I love the beet thing!"
"That's good to hear," said Chia.
"Pines of romanesco has florets
of fractal broccoli with rosemary
and pine nuts, so if you haven't
tried it yet, now's a good time."
A quiet little whirr made Boss Blaster
look around. Rossi was vibrating in place.
"I can hardly wait," the speedster said.
"I've never had that, but I love rosemary."
"Last, I brought lentil chili with black beans,
which can serve as a side dish or as
another vegetarian entree," Chia said.
"Or a hot dog topping," said Boss Blaster,
who loved chili dogs and also enjoyed
experimenting with similar toppings.
"I know I ordered jumbo pork wieners."
"All right, Rossi is here so I gather
it's testing time," said Chia. "You
can grab popcorn now if you want it."
Almost everyone took a bag, then
scurried toward the bleachers.
Boss Blaster popped open
one of Zipper's herbal sodas.
This was going to be fun.
The two Italians arranged
themselves in front of Edison.
"Maestro Finn, the red car
is untampered and fit to test,"
Mr. Ferrari said with a bow.
"Maestro Finn, the yellow car
is untampered and fit to test,"
Mr. Lamborghini echoed.
"Thank you," Edison said
as he bowed back to them.
"You may stand down
and enjoy the show."
Rossi took his seat and
handed Bruni a bag of
the hurricane popcorn.
The drivers clustered around
Edison, waiting for instructions.
Boss Blaster had every intention
of trying out one of the cars, but
he'd let the other drivers go first.
After all, he had his own van
that Edison had been working on.
"You can race, you can maneuver,
you can cut each other off, but
no ramming," Edison warned them.
"These are not zoomderbies."
Boss Blaster choked on his drink.
"How do you even know that word?"
"Nonno Ferrari," Edison said innocently.
"We talked about all different kinds of
safety features a vehicle could have,
and what it really needs compared to
the weight. That's the word he used,
well, in English, the first was in Italian."
Boss Blaster rubbed a hand over
his face. "Ooookay," he said. "Let's
just leave it at these cars being fast,
not Invulnerable, so nobody get up
to crash-testing shenanigans."
"Yes, sir," they chorused.
"You've all seen the list of
available tests," Edison said.
"We'll start with acceleration
and braking." He pointed at
a streamer of crepe paper
stretched across the track.
"Get as close to that line as
you can without breaking it."
"Just to keep things sporting,
I brought pieces of eight in case
folks feel like betting," Ned said.
He pulled the cover off a table
by the bleachers that everyone
had been ignoring. There were
many small buckets of cookies
from the Bucketeers restaurant.
People swarmed over the table,
but Edison shook his head.
"No thanks, I already got cookies,"
he said. "Besides, it wouldn't
be fair of me to place bets."
"You look fidgety," Dr. G said.
"Do you want some lap time?"
"Yeah, that'd help," said Edison.
"I'm confident about my cars,
but nervous about the people."
"Well, pick a lap to sit in,"
Boss Blaster invited.
"Then I pick you, since
I don't see you as often,"
Edison said, climbing on.
They dug into the bags of
hurricane popcorn, which
was salty and savory
and utterly amazing.
Everyone wanted to try
the first test, because
braking was so vital.
Even Boss Blaster
took a turn, handing
Edison to Dr. G for it.
Barachiel won the contest
with the nose of the red car
actually touching the ribbon,
but not breaking through it.
Boss Blaster and Edison
both got up to congratulate him,
then Edison sat back down
on Boss Blaster's lap.
After that, they switched
to simple speed laps, to see
how well the cars could handle
going fast around the curves.
It was going fine until
the yellow car pulled over
before completing its set.
Lou staggered out of the car
and threw up on the ground.
Edison tried to scramble off,
but Boss Blaster caught him.
"Sit still and wait your turn,"
he said. "Let the medics do
their job first. Then you can ask
if there is a mechanical issue."
Dr. G got there first and ran
a quick field check on Lou.
Then they both headed
back to the bleachers.
Lou sat with his wife Chia,
while Dr. G went to where
Edison sat on Boss Blaster.
"Is he okay?" Edison asked.
"I think so," said Dr. G. "Lou
turned down the Chuckies,
because then he wouldn't be
able to drive anymore today.
I gave him some ginger candy,
and he's going to sit out for
a while, then see how he feels."
"I don't know what went wrong,"
Edison said. "This stuff never
happened with the zoomwagon."
"Bethan is a speedster, Molly
has an iron stomach, and Dave
is just stubborn," said Dr. G.
"So now you have a bunch of
different test drivers, which
means different test data.
You'll figure it out soon."
"I hope so," said Edison.
"I can't sell a car that
makes people barf."
Boss Blaster laughed.
"People pay money
to go on carnival rides
that make them barf."
In fact, he had worked
briefly with a girl in the gang
whose superpower felt like
a carnival ride, and tended
to make people barf.
She went by the name
of Barf-o-Whirl, and said
her cousins pestered her
for rides at family gatherings.
It wasn't until the end of
the round that they got a clue.
"That thing drives like a dream,"
Martha said. "It's just weird not
feeling the acceleration very much.
That makes speed harder to gauge.
I had to keep an eye on the dash."
"Drat," said Edison. "I must've
set the inertial dampeners too high.
Just gimme a minute to fix that."
"The what?" Martha said
as she tilted her head.
"Inertial dampeners,"
said Edison. "They're
part of the system that lets
a zoomwagon go fast and
make right-angle turns."
"Oh, that makes sense,"
she said. "I wondered
how it was so responsive.
I can't wait to try it with
the evasive maneuvers."
"It uses different physics
than an ordinary vehicle
does," Edison explained.
"That's what threw me
off so much I puked!"
Lou exclaimed. "I wasn't
imagining it, something
was really messing with
my perception of motion."
"I'm sorry," Edison said.
"I didn't think it would have
that effect. It hasn't before."
"Different users broaden
your data," Dr. G said again.
"You can compensate."
"Yeah, I'll figure it out,"
Edison said. He hopped
off of Boss Blaster's lap
and opened the toolbox.
Rossi, who had been watching
Bruni drive, made a wistful noise.
"I'll give you two a tour of the gear
later," Edison offered. "But you can't
share ideas with your family business
outside of a formal contract, or else
my patent lawyers will freak."
"Understood, Maestro Finn,"
said Rossi. "I would be honored
to observe the cars in more detail."
"Lou, do you wanna come help me
adjust the inertial dampeners?"
Edison said. "If you're feeling
better, you can probably tell me
more than anyone else whether
I've got the settings right."
Lou stood up carefully,
keeping one hand on
the bleachers, then let go.
"I think I'm okay now," he said.
Edison tinkered with the settings,
asking for input from both Lou
and Martha, then had Martha
drive the yellow car a few laps.
Once she got out, she said,
"That feels much better now.
I have a clearer sense of
what the car is doing and
thus what I need to do."
Lou and Edison came
back to the bleachers.
"Mr. Maxwell, Rossi,
would you mind setting up
the cones?" Edison said,
climbing into his father's lap.
"Just start with curvy lanes."
The facility had enough cones
in different sizes and colors
to set up complete courses
for cars, motorcycles, or bikes.
Boss Blaster grabbed a stack
and ran around the track to make
one side of a wavy lane, while
Rossi ran along laying out
the inner line to match.
They had to be careful not
to go so fast that the plastic
melted, but it was still fun.
Boss Blaster swung by
the food tables and
dumped a bag of
candied nuts over
a cup of yogurt.
Yeah, that was good.
Rossi had picked up
veggie sticks with
nut'n'seed butter.
They watched the cars
wind gracefully around
the track in the new lane.
Boss Blaster even took
a turn, and was impressed.
"The handling is beautiful,"
he declared when he got back.
"That's good to know," said Edison,
who was currently sitting on Elowyn.
After that, the next challenge was
dodge-and-weave, with the cones
set out in random places that
the cars had to avoid hitting.
It was Martha who won that round
with her defensive driving skills.
Boss Blaster and Rossi had
just finished picking up the cones
when someone new arrived.
"Hey, everybody, this is
my little brother Denis,"
said Elowyn. "He came
here from Omaha today."
"Thank you for making this
a family invitation," Denis said
to Edison. "I've been studying
Philosophy with a graduate minor
in Critical and Creative Thinking."
"That sounds cool," said Edison.
"Get this, he did his undergrad work
with a double major in Generalist
and Philosophy," Elowyn added.
"Oh, Generalist is interesting,"
said Edison. "I heard it's like
mechanical engineer, a little of
everything, but not just science."
"That's right, it spans all of
the sciences and humanities,"
said Denis. "So if you want
to discuss the philosophical,
ethical, or other implications
of Super-Gizmology, then that's
right up my alley," Denis said.
Edison burst into tears and bolted
for the park dottie near the track.
"What just happened?" said Denis.
"I need to go after Edison," said Dr. G.
"Mr. Maxwell, please handle Denis."
Then he trotted after his son.
"What did I do wrong?"
Denis wailed. "All I did
was confirm my field
and offer to talk!"
Boss Blaster sorted
through what he knew
that was safe to share
and might prove helpful.
"Remember the big incident
with China back in January?"
Boss Blaster asked Denis.
"With the industrial espionage,
then the whole country blacked out,
and they attacked American citizens?"
Denis said. "Yeah, it was all over the news.
My values class talked about it for weeks.
I think that some of the folks who are into
global affairs are still watching that. Plus
my think tank picked it up this semester."
"Well, that's Edison Finn." Boss Blaster
jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "He's
the one China picked on, much to
their regret, and that's made him
touchier about zetetic ethics."
"Oh, shucks," said Denis.
"I am so sorry. I remembered
the incident but I didn't connect it
with today's activities. All that
Elowyn told me was there's
a car-testing event and she'd
gotten a family invitation for it."
"It'll be fine," said Boss Blaster.
"You didn't mean to upset him."
"Will he really be all right?"
Denis said. "He looked
pretty upset, and I've
seen Elowyn's girls get
so upset that they puke."
"I haven't seen Edison
go that far, although I've
heard it can happen,"
Boss Blaster said.
"Do you think he'll
be able to continue
the testing?" said Denis.
"Probably," said Boss Blaster.
"I've seen him several times
a month since it happened, and
he's flipped out over something on
most of those occasions. He can
take anywhere from a few minutes
to a few hours to calm down, but I've
never seen it take longer than that."
"Okay, that's good," said Denis.
"Then I can apologize to him
whenever he comes back."
"Yeah, the Finns are big on
apologies," said Boss Blaster.
"That's sure to help a lot."
"I'm happy to hear it,"
said Denis. "Should we
wait for Edison, or go on
with the show, or what?"
Boss Blaster thought about it,
then called, "Comfort break!
Now's a good time to hit
the dotties in the gym or
grab some more snacks."
People milled around,
heading for different goals.
"I'm sorry I didn't get through
the introductions fast enough,"
said Elowyn. "I tried, but you
know geeks, they run away with
the conversation sometimes."
"Not your fault," said Denis.
"I'm the one who put my foot in
my mouth, however accidentally."
"It'll all blow over," Boss Blaster said.
"Look, they're coming back already,
so it can't have been too bad."
"Hello again. I'm Dr. Graham Finn,"
he said. "This is my son Edison,
who designed the cars that we're
testing today. I'm afraid the topics
of ethics and technology are still
sensitive after events this spring."
"I'm sorry I ran off, that was rude,"
Edison said. He looked like he'd
taken time to wash his face,
and his voice sounded clear.
"I'm sorry for upsetting you,"
said Denis. "I didn't mean
to raise a touchy topic. I can
head home if you want, or
just stay out of your way."
"Apology accepted,"
Edison said. "You don't
have to leave. It would be
rude to invite you and then
make you leave when you
didn't do anything wrong."
"I did upset you, though,"
Denis pointed out.
"Not on purpose,"
said Edison. "I'm
sorry about being
oversensitive today."
"You're not --" Denis said.
Edison held up a hand. "Yes.
I am. That's not my imagination,
it's a clinical assessment. We
checked. Besides, I know how
I was last year, and I know how
I am now. I'm only about 65%
back to my baseline, and that
still frustrates me quite a lot."
"Gosh, that would drive me
nuts, too," said Denis. "No
wonder it bothers you. Could
I do anything to help with that?"
"Yes, I would like to accept
your generous offer to discuss
zetetic ethics," said Edison.
"Da and I talked about it a bit,
and he thinks it's a good idea.
I need to learn how to consider
ethical implications in my work
without stifling the creativity."
"I'm ashamed to say that it
never occurred to me to call
an expert ethicist," said Dr. G.
"Edison has family support and
therapists, he has friends who
know all about Super-Gizmology,
but nobody specializing in ethics --
which concerns him greatly now."
"Oh yeah, that's a big issue,"
said Denis. "Let's see, I've taken
a focus area in ethics, including
applied ethics of superpowers.
Currently I'm in Advanced Ethics
and an internship with a think tank
about superpower integration."
"Maybe I should be arranging
a time to talk with you too,"
Dr. G said. "Given my work
at Soup to Nuts, that could
be very useful professionally."
"Here's my card," Denis said,
offering it. "No charge to chat,
because I goofed today."
"All right, that's fair enough for
our first meeting," said Dr. G.
"From there we can discuss
how we want to proceed."
"That's good," Edison said,
worming his way between
his father and Boss Blaster
so he could hug both at once.
"Oh, you're a snuggler?"
Denis said as he looked at
Edison. "I like snuggles too."
"Really?" Edison said, looking up.
"Yeah, we used to wear him until
he got too big for it," said Elowyn.
Denis was, in fact, draped over her
at the moment where they sat together.
Edison sighed. "I'm getting too heavy
for some people already," he said. "I
won't be able to do that much longer."
"Then we'll find you some stronger friends,"
said Zipper. "There must be a few strongmen
who would like to find a new cuddle partner."
"Oh, that's a great idea!" said Edison.
"They can lift even the grownups."
Bruni leaned over. "Edison, are you
really open to cuddling strongmen?"
"Sure," said Edison. "Why wouldn't
I be? They're just like anyone else."
"Most people feel skittish around them,"
Bruni said. He printed something on
the back of a card. "Please, please
call. It's hard to find anyone willing
to get close with strongmen."
"But that can leave people
touch-starved!" Edison said,
passing the card to his father.
"That's horrible, and it's
bad for mental health."
"I'm sure we can find
some strongmen who'd
like to cuddle," said Dr. G. "I
can ask around Soup to Nuts, and
try Roger the next time he visits.
He's quite tactile with Leo and
Olivia, so he may say yes."
Bruni's eyebrows went up.
"You know 'Roger' too?"
"Yeah, they came to visit
earlier this year when things
were crummy," said Edison.
"Leo and Olivia are my squishes.
I guess Roger could be too, I
just haven't seen him as much."
"He's very talented," said Bruni.
"Have you noticed his gold tie pin?"
"Yeah, he's worn that every time
I've seen him so far," said Edison.
"Well, he made that pin himself,
to demonstrate his finesse,"
said Bruni. "He is justifiably
quite proud of his control."
"He must have worked
hard on that," said Dr. G.
"I noticed it too, it has
very delicate wirework."
"Say that to Roger and he
will go on and on about how
ductile gold is," Bruni warned.
"Uncle Tolli and Cousin Hugo
are like that too," said Edison.
"I think all metalworkers are."
"All materials scientists too,"
said Rossi. "At least that's
how they are in my family."
"My Family too," said Bruni.
"Nonna had to ban car talk
at the supper table, or they'd
never talk about anything else."
Edison nodded. "Halley told me
some families do that with anything
which gets too repetitive. Others
just ban gross talk over food."
"That's a good rule," Elowyn said,
then chuckled. "We rarely have
that kind of problem in my family,
though -- too many different interests!"
"My big picture questions, Elowyn's teaching,
Girard and Dad's architecture, Isadora and
Mom's art businesses, it all adds up fast,"
said Denis. "It keeps life interesting."
"Don't forget Ned's public outreach
and Orion's hunting," Elowyn added.
"Now it sounds like our family,"
said Dr. G. "We run to medics,
but we also have an oceanographer,
a nanny, two inventors, two soldiers,
and an artist -- plus significant others."
Elowyn and Denis looked at each other.
"We should invite you over," they chorused.
"Would Clan Finn actually fit in your house?"
Dr. G said dryly. "There are a lot of us."
"Oh yeah, that place is enormous,"
said Boss Blaster. "They have all kinds
of function spaces, inside and out -- they
built a tot lot on the roof of their garage."
"That sounds lovely," said Dr. G.
"Our old house in Atwood used
to be a day care. The back yard
had more play equipment than
the nearest pocket park did."
"It looks like folks are ready
for another round of testing,"
Boss Blaster observed.
"Edison, what about you?"
"I really need to snuggle,"
said Edison. "I can still
watch the cars, though."
"Well, you'll need a new lap,
because I want to try out
the 'speedster special' you
cooked up," said Boss Blaster.
"Feel free to climb aboard,"
Denis invited. "I could
sure use a snuggle too."
Edison promptly crawled
into his lap. "Thanks,"
he said. "This makes it
easier for me to think."
"Yeah, it does for me too,"
said Denis. "I know a bunch
of nerds like that, we get into
these big cuddle puddles for
the think tank sometimes.
Then there are the folks
who want their own chair."
"My sister Aida is like that,
she likes her own space, but
not because she doesn't love us,"
said Edison. "And Cousin Hugo
likes telepathic snuggles better."
Denis grinned. "That sounds
amazing," he said. "I've never
had telepathic snuggles before."
"That could probably be arranged,
if you'd like to try it," said Dr. G.
"Telepaths have similar challenges
as strongmen in finding friends."
"People are weird," said Edison.
"Life is way more interesting
with all kinds of friends in it."
"Hear, hear," said Denis.
"Most of my closest friends
are fellow freaks, and I like it
that way. Then I don't feel like
the odd one out. My family
loves me, but they don't
always understand me."
"Let me guess, you're
the theorist in a household
of practicalists?" said Dr. G.
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
Denis said. "Most people
see how affectionate we are
and think that I fit in just fine."
"I recognize the signs, and
besides, I heard the list of
family professions earlier,"
Dr. G said. "It's familiar."
"All right, folks, we're
ready to resume testing,"
Boss Blaster called. "Bethan,
are you up for taking part in
the speedster special with me?"
"Oh, you are on," she said, then
blurred her way to the yellow car.
Boss Blaster tucked himself
into the red car, then carefully
adjusted everything in the cockpit.
He and Bethan positioned themselves
at the starting line, then he touched
the button that signaled readiness.
The race started, and they zoomed off,
the two cars perfectly matched.
Then the boxes started flying.
Edison had set up a series
of catapult devices that would
randomly throw cardboard boxes
into the track, which the drivers
then had to avoid touching.
The boxes were so light
that they wouldn't damage
anything even if they hit,
but that'd be embarrassing.
Boss Blaster swooped around
the track, swerving gracefully
to miss the tumbling boxes.
The car danced in his hands
like a willow leaf on a river.
He was maybe a little in love.
When one of the boxes
hit Bethan's car, he whooped
in triumph and pulled his car
around to the finish line so
the next driver could get in.
That was Cash, who had egged
Ned and the other police drivers
into racing him one at a time
to see how badly they all did.
When Boss Blaster got back
to his seat, Denis and Edison
were deep in conversation about
the character choices in a movie.
"That car's handling is glorious,"
said Boss Blaster. "If I haven't
told you enough already, thank you
so much for sharing it with us today."
"You're welcome," said Edison.
"Thanks for helping me test it."
"I'm feeling better," Lou said.
"Can someone check me out?"
Molly and Dave both moved
at the same time. "I can do
the mental part, and you can
do the physical?" she said.
"Works for me," said Dave.
They ran a quick health check,
then approved Lou to drive.
"We'll give you a slot by yourself
after Cash finishes crushing
the cops," said Edison. "Start
driving slowly, then if you feel
okay, you can speed up."
"Will do," Lou said. "I'm
glad nobody else got sick."
"The inertial dampeners
are a safety feature, like
the firefighting foam in
the fuse boxes, but they
can be fiddly to set right,"
Edison said. "I'm glad
you're willing to try again."
"Wait, did you say there's
fire suppression foam
inside the fuse boxes?"
Lou asked. "How did
you do that, and why?"
"How is patented, and while
the cars are ready to be seen,
I can't give out details of new parts
because we're not done negotiating
contracts yet," Edison explained.
"That's okay," said Lou. "I'm
more interested in what it does
for safety than how it works,
because I'm a firefighter."
"Okay, I put fire suppression
inside the fuse boxes because
these cars have lots of electronics
fitting closely together," said Edison.
"The fuse box is about the size of
a card deck, and the canister is
about thumb size. In tight space,
a little extra heat can spark a fire."
"Right, because thermodynamics --"
Lou broke off, clearly not expecting
someone Edison's size to follow that.
"-- depend on air flow as well as
the materials science of anything
adjacent to the heat source,"
Edison finished gently. "So
a small box increases the risk
of fire, but I need to make
everything as small as I can
to reduce the car's weight."
"Could I ask if this technology
might make it into firefighting
some day?" Lou said wistfully.
"Sure," said Edison. "I could
design something for that. I just
started with a zoomwagon since
my sister's a paramedic. Talk
with my da and he'll see about
fitting this into my schedule. It'd
be fun to explore new ideas."
"We can do that," said Dr. G.
"I'm sure Edison would find
the current gear ... entertaining."
"How about I run a search for
a decommissioned firetruck
first," Boss Blaster said firmly.
"Ah, good point," said Dr. G.
"Please proceed, and send me
a cost estimate when you can."
"Used fire trucks cost anywhere
from $15,000 up to $500,000,"
Lou said promptly. "If you want
a recent model, it'll cost more
than an older one, but anything
decommissioned rather than
sold on will be cheap, basically
just the parts value of the vehicle."
"We can afford that," Dr. G said,
making Lou stare at him. "I'll chat
with our patent lawyers, but I'm sure
they'll be enthusiastic. There must
be a good market for equipment
useful in fire suppression."
By then, Cash had finished
trouncing the police drivers,
but he praised their efforts.
"Remember that most of you
have had one round of lessons,"
he said. "I've been Driving for
years, so it's not a fair fight."
"Then let someone else
have a turn," Bethan said
as she gave Barachiel
a sassy look. "Care
for a game of tag?"
"Oh, I'd love that,"
Barachiel said as he
bounded to his feet.
"I didn't bring a tag set,"
Edison said. "I thought
that cones would be
more useful, and those
were already here."
"Here, use mine,"
Rossi and Bruni
said simultaneously.
They produced two fobs
that looked like keychains.
"You stick one in the center
of the dash, and then aim for
your opponent's license plate,"
Rossi said. "You have to hold
the dot inside the frame for
a full second to count. It's
an automatic function."
Boss Blaster wasn't
going to ask why they
carried that kind of
toy in their pockets.
"This is awesome,"
Bethan said, and
Barachiel nodded.
They scurried off
toward the cars.
Edison grinned and
climbed into Ned's lap
to watch the game.
It took a while for
anyone to score,
but eventually
Bethan won.
Then of course,
Ned demanded
a rematch using
the tag equipment.
It was hilarious watching
the cops chase Cash, trying
and failing to tag him at all.
"It's like he's played this
before," said Boss Blaster.
"Of course," said Bruni.
"We want Drivers to have
the best skills possible, so
we share tools for that."
"You should see the tests
in Italy," Rossi said smugly.
Boss Blaster's vidwatch
chimed a reminder.
"Last round before
lunch," he declared.
"We'll do grass tests
after we've eaten."
By the time he had
rounded up everyone,
the pig roast was all ready.
"Ride, please," Edison wheedled,
reaching up for Boss Blaster.
Boosting Edison to his shoulders,
Boss Blaster carried him to
the tables piled with food.
"High-burn folks in front,
followed by children and
any other special needs,"
he said, shaping the line
as he set Edison down.
"Everyone else in turn."
That put Bethan and Rossi
with him, both looking a bit
put out because they couldn't
stand with their usual friends.
"It's just for the food line,"
Boss Blaster assured them.
"I don't want anyone faceplanting
from lack of fuel. Once we've got
food, we can sit wherever we want."
Some folks seemed slower,
having eaten a bit too much
of their pieces of eight winnings.
Thandi waved cheerfully at them
with her serving equipment.
"The real pig's over here,
and those smokers have
vegan stuff," she directed.
Boss Blaster loaded his plate
with barbecued baby back ribs,
caprese cherry tomato salad,
California avocado fruit salad,
then pines of romanesco.
He made sure to dish up
lentil chili with black beans
both in a bowl and over
a jumbo pork wiener.
It all smelled so good.
Boss Blaster wound up
sitting with Dr. G and Edison,
who had gotten some of
the pulled pork sandwiches.
That kid was going to need
a change of clothes for sure.
"Don't worry, I always bring
spare clothes," Dr. G said,
as if reading his mind. "And
everyone asks about that."
"No problem," Boss Blaster said,
turning to his food. The pork ribs
just about fell apart before he
could get them into his mouth,
but they tasted so good.
The tomato salad had
a wonderful variety of
flavors from all those
different heirlooms.
The avocado fruit salad
was richer than he was used to,
but it still worked pretty well.
He was less sure about
the pines of romanesco,
but it was interesting to try.
The pork wiener was juicy
and savory with zesty spices.
The chili was delicious, rich and
satisfying in ways vegetarian dishes
often weren't. Maybe that came
from mixing beans and lentils.
Boss Blaster scraped his spoon
around the bottom of the bowl.
Yeah, he'd get that again.
"Who wants ice cream?"
Cash called, waving a hand.
Boss Blaster shamelessly
used his superpower to dash
for the front of the line, only
to crash into Bethan and
knock her into Rossi.
Cash laughed at them.
"You three kids behave,"
he said. "Okay, pick flavors."
Boss Blaster went right for
the Rocky Mountain Road Trip.
He'd had huckleberries before.
The ice cream did taste
amazingly like a road trip.
It was dark and sweet,
crunchy in places with
a ribbon of caramel, and
there were huckleberries
hiding inside of it too.
Edison, clutching a bowl of
Mango Ginger Jam, was
back in his father's lap.
"So, how do you feel about
the car testing so far?"
Boss Blaster said.
"It's going well, and
I only had to open up
the toolbox once,"
said Edison. "I'm
getting good data.
It stinks that Lou got
sick, but he's better."
"I'm happy to hear that,"
said Boss Blaster. "I've
really enjoyed racing."
Cash plopped down on
Boss Blaster's other side.
"Yeah," said Cash. "You
can't beat a day spent with
the best drivers in the world."
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its character, setting, and content notes appear separately.
dialecticdreamer . It also fills the "He's right behind me, isn't he?" square in my 8-1-22 card for the Reel Time Bingo fest. This poem is posted in memory of Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Broken Angels and China's Mistake threads of the Polychrome Heroics series.Warning: This poem contains intense and controversial topics. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. It includes reference to past attempted industrial espionage, reference to targeted theft of Chinese cars for demolition entertainment, supervillains and blue-plate specials and first responders all testing new cars together, safety angst, gambling with cookie coins, motion sickness with vomiting, emotional upset over ethical issues, reference to strongmen having difficulty finding cuddle partners, and other challenges. It's mostly upbeat, though. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"The Best Drivers in the World"
[Saturday, September 10, 2016]
The Lincoln SCCA Solo Grounds hadn't
been keen on hosting experimental cars,
so instead the testing had been booked at
the Integrated First Responder Fitness Center.
It had a robust dirt track used for foot races,
bike races, motorcycle races, and testing
various types of emergency vehicles.
Boss Blaster was only a little nervous
about going so deep into cop territory.
Besides, it was clearly turning into a party.
Ned Sterling and his wife were there
with all three of their kids, and Elowyn
had a box from a local bakery that she
was refusing to let anyone else touch.
Elowyn's younger brother Denis
was supposed to come too, but he
wasn't here yet because he had
to drive all the way from Omaha.
A large portion of the off-duty police
were there, because lots of folks had
taken Cash's offer of free Drive training.
Boss Blaster couldn't blame him for
wanting to poke Mercedes in the eye.
His own contribution was hiring a pit boss
from Busy Pig to come do a pig roast, though
he'd coughed up for the vegan options too,
in order to feed all those hungry people.
Thandi Blazier had arrived early, towing
a row of smoker grills with ribs, sausages,
sliced ham, and pulled pork -- or for vegans
vork nibs, vork sausages, seitan sham and chiz,
and shredded vork with vegan barbecue sauces.
The smell was already making his mouth water,
and Boss Blaster had just had breakfast.
You couldn't rush good barbecue,
though, it needed to take its time.
Boss Blaster glanced over
at the gymnasium building,
which had been converted
from an old warehouse.
What had started out
as the motor pool area for
the warehouse's delivery fleet
had become a secure garage
for the storage and repair of
emergency vehicles, such as
those used for Drive classes.
Now Bruni Ferrari leaned
against the front, which meant
Rossi Lamborghini must be
inside with the test cars.
Both companies had been
livid about China's attempted
industrial espionage, and had
volunteered to send security.
In fact, the whole thing offended
the world automotive industry
enough that they had largely
frozen out Chinese interests,
leaving others to gobble up
suddenly empty niches.
The International Organization
of Motor Vehicle Manufacturers
had issued a scathing condemnation,
and most of the countries who still
willingly dealt with Chinese vehicles
were bottom-ten dregs themselves --
but then they weren't members.
The United States, interpreting
China's behavior as an attack,
had summarily banned imports of
Chinese cars and some other things.
Germany, Australia, Norway, and
Belgium had either banned them
or slapped on fresh tariffs that went,
variously, to charities for victims of
China's oppression like Uighurs,
Falun Gong members, or soups.
Saudi Arabia and Russia were
still talking to China, but well, look
what company they were keeping.
It helped that someone had
so generously compiled a guide
on how to boycott Chinese products.
While Boss Blaster hadn't launched
as much of a car Business as originally
intended, he had enough to take advantage
of the bounty that several supervillains
had posted on Chinese-made cars.
They'd pay market value for anything
that would run, and they were making
demolition derby videos to post on V'You
using various destructive superpowers.
Chinese cars made up less than 2%
of the American market, but that
just made them interesting to hunt.
Boss Blaster might possibly
have sent an anonymous video of
said demolition derbies to the Finns.
Speaking of which, they arrived
in a tight cluster on the teleport pad
sprayed on the ground in chalk paint.
As the group broke apart, Boss Blaster
could pick out the people he recognized.
Dr. G carried a truly enormous tub
that turned out to contain gallons
of California avocado fruit salad.
Clinging to his hand, Edison
wasn't carrying food but rather
dragging a banana-yellow case.
The uppermost tray was labeled
Spare Parts, the middle two Tools,
and the bottom Raw Materials.
Flanked by Dave and Bethan,
Molly had a cloth-lined hamper
full of fragrant multigrain rolls.
Cash had naturally brought
ice cream, hauling a trolley
stacked with gallon tubs with
labels like Mango Ginger Jam,
Salmonberry Surprise, and
Rocky Mountain Road Trip.
Zipper had a cardboard case
in each hand. "I brought
artisan herbal sodas and
syrups, in case anyone
wants a different kind of
mature beverages, since
there's no alcohol here."
"Oh yay," said Elowyn.
"I get tired of sweet things.
However, I did bring a box of
sweets especially for Edison, as
thanks for sharing his test cars
with the local first responders."
The boy accepted her offering
and lifted the cardboard lid.
"Car cookies!" he exclaimed.
Boss Blaster leaned over to look.
There were yellow cars and
blue cars, detailed down to
the tiny silver door handles.
There were wrenches and
wheels with raised textures.
There were gauges of
several different kinds,
each one hand-painted
with edible black ink.
Elaborate little plaques,
each decorated with
a different set of tools,
spelled out Thank you!
in bright yellow icing
on a silver background.
Edison hugged Elowyn
with his free arm. "These
are so pretty, thanks."
"I'm glad you like them,"
said Elowyn. "I talked to
your mum, and you have
no specific cookie limit today,
as long as you eat brain food
so you don't run out of fuel."
"Yaaaay!" Edison crowed.
He stuffed two cookies in
his mouth and then ran
around in looping spirals.
"That kid has no off button,"
Boss Blaster muttered.
"You should be well
aware of that by now,"
Dr. G said, looking amused.
"He's right behind me, isn't he?"
Boss Blaster said, blushing.
"Yep," Dr. G said heartlessly.
"He snuck right up on you."
"It's okay," said Edison. "I know
I'm hard for people to keep up with.
But some are worth slowing down for."
"You never need to slow down for me,"
Boss Blaster said. "Just try to stay
where I can keep an eye on you.
Otherwise I start to get worried."
"There's plenty to watch for today,"
said Dr. G. "I confess that I feel
a little nervous about the car testing."
"I feel safe when I'm on the racetrack,
I really do," said Cash. "I know that I'm
surrounded by the best drivers in the world.
That's something you can't say when
you're driving down the interstate."
"Good point," Ned said. "Even rookies
have to pass the basic Drive course
before they're allowed to practice
with the other first responders."
Boss Blaster grinned. "Then you'll
be happy to know we managed
to get an ambulance driver here
today. They drive like demons."
"Yay!" Edison gave a happy wiggle.
"Bethan promised to teach me how
to drive when I get big enough."
"What am I, chopped liver?"
Cash said, mock-scowling.
"No, you're the advanced class,"
Edison said. "Da teaches basic
and Bethan teaches intermediate."
"Well, we also got a firefighter
and a field counselor from
the Emotions First Agency
to come," said Boss Blaster.
"Omaha is well represented."
"We should probably do
introductions," said Dr. G.
"Good idea," Boss Blaster said,
heading to find the drivers who
hadn't come from the police
and were thus less familiar.
When he got back, he said,
"Lou Cannella is a firefighter
and an engineer. He drives
the most complicated engines.
His wife Chia is a nutritionist."
"Swing by the tables later
if anyone wants a tour of
the brain food," Chia said.
"Mr. Maxwell bought us
a pig roast, so I brought
mostly snacks and sides."
"Martha Garross works
as a field counselor at
the Emotions First Agency,
which supplies experts for
mental crisis response teams
among the first responders here
in Lincoln," said Boss Blaster.
"She's taken Defensive Driving."
"Sometimes panicky people
run out into traffic," Martha said.
"This is Barachiel Brown,
who drives an ambulance,"
Boss Blaster finished.
Barachiel spotted
Zipper's T-shirt, which
read Ambulance on
the front and the back.
"You're an ambulance driver too?"
Barachiel said, brightening.
Zipper tapped his armband.
Today that held not only
the usual teleporter symbol
but also a star of life.
"I am the ambulance,"
he clarified. "I can take
a patient to a hospital without
any sense of motion, or if they
can't be moved at all, bring
a field doctor here to them."
Barachiel made a tiny eeee,
then quickly cut it off. "Wow,
a human ambulance," he said. "I
never thought I'd get to meet one."
Zipper handed him a business card.
"Call me tomorrow and we'll set up
a time to talk shop," he said with
a smile. "Today is Edison's day."
"Will do," Barachiel said, and
handed Zipper a card of his own.
"You can reach me here most of
the time, or leave a message
if I'm on duty when you call."
"Thank you," said Zipper.
"If you want to talk shop
with another driver, though,
Bethan runs the zoomwagon."
She waved, showing off
a T-shirt that read, I'm
an ambulance driver.
What's your superpower?
Barachiel gave another squeak.
"I'd love to hear about driving
a zoomwagon," he said. "I've
heard of them but never seen one."
"Sure," said Bethan, and they
headed off to talk about it.
"Someday, I want to have
self-control that good,"
Edison said wistfully.
"That was impressive,"
Dr. G agreed. "He must
have worked very hard on
that. I have faith in you too."
Edison clung to him like a burr.
"I hope so," he said. "It's hard."
"Most things worth doing are,"
said Boss Blaster. "Look,
here come your cars."
The cars rolled out,
one canary yellow,
the other bright red.
"I thought those were
going to the local police?"
someone said quietly.
"One is, and the other is
for Mr. Maxwell," Edison said.
"Definitely not our colors,"
Ned said with a chuckle.
"This is just test day paint,
so they're easy to tell apart,"
Edison said. "The final paint jobs
will go on after any design touchups.
This is a dirt track, which is great for
testing performance in field conditions,
but it's gonna leave scratches all over."
"Does that mean we can test them
in the grass too?" Barachiel said,
looking out at the field farther back.
Edison shook his head. "No, sorry,
I didn't hire anyone with Plant Powers
to repair the grass they'd tear up."
"Don't worry," Ned said, laughing.
"That field's half running buffalo clover
and half whatever else can survive
our roughhousing. It'll be fine."
"Then sure, we can test them
on the grass too," said Edison.
"Just remember that these are
designed as street vehicles,
not brush trucks, so they
don't have brush grills."
"Meaning don't drive them
into the tall weeds, got it,"
said Lou. "We'll take care."
Bruni and Rossi parked
the cars in full view and
began the final checks.
Edison bounced in place.
"This always takes a while,
so why don't we find something
fun to do?" Dr. G suggested.
"Come explore the brain food,"
Chia invited. "Elowyn asked me
to bring things for heavy mental work,
not just the usual healthy picnic snacks."
"Sounds good to me," Boss Blaster said.
Edison was already scampering ahead.
"Sunny Nuts are mixed nuts and pepitas
candied with honey, ginger, and turmeric,"
said Chia. "The bags hold a standard serving
of one-quarter cup, but high-burn folks can
take more if you need the extra calories."
Most of the soups grabbed a bag,
and some of them took several.
"The jars have carrot and celery sticks
in nut'n'seed butter," said Chia. "That's
a full serving of vegetables and healthy fat."
"Nut'n'seed butter is a family favorite,"
said Dr. G. "It hasn't quite beaten out
almond butter, but they're neck and neck."
He picked up a jar for himself, and one
for Edison. It was good brain food.
"Pay attention to the yogurt labels,"
said Chia. "I brought cream-top dairy
and dairy-free coconut, with or without
fruit on the bottom in various flavors.
Mixed berry is the most popular."
Edison tugged on his father's pants.
"Can I have some as an extra dessert?"
"Yogurt is brain food, not dessert, so
as long as the recipe is good, yes,"
said Dr. G. He checked the recipe
stuck on the glass jar. "This is great."
"Thanks," said Chia. "So those three
are the anytime snacks. Next up is
the hurricane popcorn, which comes
out when the car testing actually starts.
It's in four-cup bags, and remember
that popcorn is a healthy whole grain."
"Hurricane popcorn?" said Dr. G.
"We love homemade flavors, but
I've never even heard of that one."
"The original came from Hawaii,"
said Chia. "I make my own with
nori furikake which includes
sesame seeds, roasted seaweed,
and a little salt and sugar, held on
with olive oil and a dash of soy sauce."
"That sounds fascinating," said Dr. G.
"We have over a hundred recipes
for different flavors, but that's new."
"Gosh, I only have about eighty,"
said Chia. "We should trade!"
"Definitely," Dr. G agreed,
and they swapped cards.
Rossi sidled up to let
Boss Blaster know that
the cars were ready, and
Bruni was watching them.
"The rest of the sides are
meant to go with the barbecue
for lunch," Chia said, waving
at the row of Busy Pig smokers.
"I made caprese cherry tomato salad
since I heard about the Italian guests."
Rossi perked up. "You didn't have
to go to any extra trouble for us,
but I'm so looking forward to that."
"Yeah, Shiv makes something similar
when he scores mixed cherry tomatoes
at the farmer's market, and he taught
Cas how to make it," said Boss Blaster.
"That is amazingly good stuff."
"This one is rainbow beet salad,
which you can make with any mix
of different beets," Chia continued.
"Oh hey, you made the beet thing,"
said Barachiel. "I love the beet thing!"
"That's good to hear," said Chia.
"Pines of romanesco has florets
of fractal broccoli with rosemary
and pine nuts, so if you haven't
tried it yet, now's a good time."
A quiet little whirr made Boss Blaster
look around. Rossi was vibrating in place.
"I can hardly wait," the speedster said.
"I've never had that, but I love rosemary."
"Last, I brought lentil chili with black beans,
which can serve as a side dish or as
another vegetarian entree," Chia said.
"Or a hot dog topping," said Boss Blaster,
who loved chili dogs and also enjoyed
experimenting with similar toppings.
"I know I ordered jumbo pork wieners."
"All right, Rossi is here so I gather
it's testing time," said Chia. "You
can grab popcorn now if you want it."
Almost everyone took a bag, then
scurried toward the bleachers.
Boss Blaster popped open
one of Zipper's herbal sodas.
This was going to be fun.
The two Italians arranged
themselves in front of Edison.
"Maestro Finn, the red car
is untampered and fit to test,"
Mr. Ferrari said with a bow.
"Maestro Finn, the yellow car
is untampered and fit to test,"
Mr. Lamborghini echoed.
"Thank you," Edison said
as he bowed back to them.
"You may stand down
and enjoy the show."
Rossi took his seat and
handed Bruni a bag of
the hurricane popcorn.
The drivers clustered around
Edison, waiting for instructions.
Boss Blaster had every intention
of trying out one of the cars, but
he'd let the other drivers go first.
After all, he had his own van
that Edison had been working on.
"You can race, you can maneuver,
you can cut each other off, but
no ramming," Edison warned them.
"These are not zoomderbies."
Boss Blaster choked on his drink.
"How do you even know that word?"
"Nonno Ferrari," Edison said innocently.
"We talked about all different kinds of
safety features a vehicle could have,
and what it really needs compared to
the weight. That's the word he used,
well, in English, the first was in Italian."
Boss Blaster rubbed a hand over
his face. "Ooookay," he said. "Let's
just leave it at these cars being fast,
not Invulnerable, so nobody get up
to crash-testing shenanigans."
"Yes, sir," they chorused.
"You've all seen the list of
available tests," Edison said.
"We'll start with acceleration
and braking." He pointed at
a streamer of crepe paper
stretched across the track.
"Get as close to that line as
you can without breaking it."
"Just to keep things sporting,
I brought pieces of eight in case
folks feel like betting," Ned said.
He pulled the cover off a table
by the bleachers that everyone
had been ignoring. There were
many small buckets of cookies
from the Bucketeers restaurant.
People swarmed over the table,
but Edison shook his head.
"No thanks, I already got cookies,"
he said. "Besides, it wouldn't
be fair of me to place bets."
"You look fidgety," Dr. G said.
"Do you want some lap time?"
"Yeah, that'd help," said Edison.
"I'm confident about my cars,
but nervous about the people."
"Well, pick a lap to sit in,"
Boss Blaster invited.
"Then I pick you, since
I don't see you as often,"
Edison said, climbing on.
They dug into the bags of
hurricane popcorn, which
was salty and savory
and utterly amazing.
Everyone wanted to try
the first test, because
braking was so vital.
Even Boss Blaster
took a turn, handing
Edison to Dr. G for it.
Barachiel won the contest
with the nose of the red car
actually touching the ribbon,
but not breaking through it.
Boss Blaster and Edison
both got up to congratulate him,
then Edison sat back down
on Boss Blaster's lap.
After that, they switched
to simple speed laps, to see
how well the cars could handle
going fast around the curves.
It was going fine until
the yellow car pulled over
before completing its set.
Lou staggered out of the car
and threw up on the ground.
Edison tried to scramble off,
but Boss Blaster caught him.
"Sit still and wait your turn,"
he said. "Let the medics do
their job first. Then you can ask
if there is a mechanical issue."
Dr. G got there first and ran
a quick field check on Lou.
Then they both headed
back to the bleachers.
Lou sat with his wife Chia,
while Dr. G went to where
Edison sat on Boss Blaster.
"Is he okay?" Edison asked.
"I think so," said Dr. G. "Lou
turned down the Chuckies,
because then he wouldn't be
able to drive anymore today.
I gave him some ginger candy,
and he's going to sit out for
a while, then see how he feels."
"I don't know what went wrong,"
Edison said. "This stuff never
happened with the zoomwagon."
"Bethan is a speedster, Molly
has an iron stomach, and Dave
is just stubborn," said Dr. G.
"So now you have a bunch of
different test drivers, which
means different test data.
You'll figure it out soon."
"I hope so," said Edison.
"I can't sell a car that
makes people barf."
Boss Blaster laughed.
"People pay money
to go on carnival rides
that make them barf."
In fact, he had worked
briefly with a girl in the gang
whose superpower felt like
a carnival ride, and tended
to make people barf.
She went by the name
of Barf-o-Whirl, and said
her cousins pestered her
for rides at family gatherings.
It wasn't until the end of
the round that they got a clue.
"That thing drives like a dream,"
Martha said. "It's just weird not
feeling the acceleration very much.
That makes speed harder to gauge.
I had to keep an eye on the dash."
"Drat," said Edison. "I must've
set the inertial dampeners too high.
Just gimme a minute to fix that."
"The what?" Martha said
as she tilted her head.
"Inertial dampeners,"
said Edison. "They're
part of the system that lets
a zoomwagon go fast and
make right-angle turns."
"Oh, that makes sense,"
she said. "I wondered
how it was so responsive.
I can't wait to try it with
the evasive maneuvers."
"It uses different physics
than an ordinary vehicle
does," Edison explained.
"That's what threw me
off so much I puked!"
Lou exclaimed. "I wasn't
imagining it, something
was really messing with
my perception of motion."
"I'm sorry," Edison said.
"I didn't think it would have
that effect. It hasn't before."
"Different users broaden
your data," Dr. G said again.
"You can compensate."
"Yeah, I'll figure it out,"
Edison said. He hopped
off of Boss Blaster's lap
and opened the toolbox.
Rossi, who had been watching
Bruni drive, made a wistful noise.
"I'll give you two a tour of the gear
later," Edison offered. "But you can't
share ideas with your family business
outside of a formal contract, or else
my patent lawyers will freak."
"Understood, Maestro Finn,"
said Rossi. "I would be honored
to observe the cars in more detail."
"Lou, do you wanna come help me
adjust the inertial dampeners?"
Edison said. "If you're feeling
better, you can probably tell me
more than anyone else whether
I've got the settings right."
Lou stood up carefully,
keeping one hand on
the bleachers, then let go.
"I think I'm okay now," he said.
Edison tinkered with the settings,
asking for input from both Lou
and Martha, then had Martha
drive the yellow car a few laps.
Once she got out, she said,
"That feels much better now.
I have a clearer sense of
what the car is doing and
thus what I need to do."
Lou and Edison came
back to the bleachers.
"Mr. Maxwell, Rossi,
would you mind setting up
the cones?" Edison said,
climbing into his father's lap.
"Just start with curvy lanes."
The facility had enough cones
in different sizes and colors
to set up complete courses
for cars, motorcycles, or bikes.
Boss Blaster grabbed a stack
and ran around the track to make
one side of a wavy lane, while
Rossi ran along laying out
the inner line to match.
They had to be careful not
to go so fast that the plastic
melted, but it was still fun.
Boss Blaster swung by
the food tables and
dumped a bag of
candied nuts over
a cup of yogurt.
Yeah, that was good.
Rossi had picked up
veggie sticks with
nut'n'seed butter.
They watched the cars
wind gracefully around
the track in the new lane.
Boss Blaster even took
a turn, and was impressed.
"The handling is beautiful,"
he declared when he got back.
"That's good to know," said Edison,
who was currently sitting on Elowyn.
After that, the next challenge was
dodge-and-weave, with the cones
set out in random places that
the cars had to avoid hitting.
It was Martha who won that round
with her defensive driving skills.
Boss Blaster and Rossi had
just finished picking up the cones
when someone new arrived.
"Hey, everybody, this is
my little brother Denis,"
said Elowyn. "He came
here from Omaha today."
"Thank you for making this
a family invitation," Denis said
to Edison. "I've been studying
Philosophy with a graduate minor
in Critical and Creative Thinking."
"That sounds cool," said Edison.
"Get this, he did his undergrad work
with a double major in Generalist
and Philosophy," Elowyn added.
"Oh, Generalist is interesting,"
said Edison. "I heard it's like
mechanical engineer, a little of
everything, but not just science."
"That's right, it spans all of
the sciences and humanities,"
said Denis. "So if you want
to discuss the philosophical,
ethical, or other implications
of Super-Gizmology, then that's
right up my alley," Denis said.
Edison burst into tears and bolted
for the park dottie near the track.
"What just happened?" said Denis.
"I need to go after Edison," said Dr. G.
"Mr. Maxwell, please handle Denis."
Then he trotted after his son.
"What did I do wrong?"
Denis wailed. "All I did
was confirm my field
and offer to talk!"
Boss Blaster sorted
through what he knew
that was safe to share
and might prove helpful.
"Remember the big incident
with China back in January?"
Boss Blaster asked Denis.
"With the industrial espionage,
then the whole country blacked out,
and they attacked American citizens?"
Denis said. "Yeah, it was all over the news.
My values class talked about it for weeks.
I think that some of the folks who are into
global affairs are still watching that. Plus
my think tank picked it up this semester."
"Well, that's Edison Finn." Boss Blaster
jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "He's
the one China picked on, much to
their regret, and that's made him
touchier about zetetic ethics."
"Oh, shucks," said Denis.
"I am so sorry. I remembered
the incident but I didn't connect it
with today's activities. All that
Elowyn told me was there's
a car-testing event and she'd
gotten a family invitation for it."
"It'll be fine," said Boss Blaster.
"You didn't mean to upset him."
"Will he really be all right?"
Denis said. "He looked
pretty upset, and I've
seen Elowyn's girls get
so upset that they puke."
"I haven't seen Edison
go that far, although I've
heard it can happen,"
Boss Blaster said.
"Do you think he'll
be able to continue
the testing?" said Denis.
"Probably," said Boss Blaster.
"I've seen him several times
a month since it happened, and
he's flipped out over something on
most of those occasions. He can
take anywhere from a few minutes
to a few hours to calm down, but I've
never seen it take longer than that."
"Okay, that's good," said Denis.
"Then I can apologize to him
whenever he comes back."
"Yeah, the Finns are big on
apologies," said Boss Blaster.
"That's sure to help a lot."
"I'm happy to hear it,"
said Denis. "Should we
wait for Edison, or go on
with the show, or what?"
Boss Blaster thought about it,
then called, "Comfort break!
Now's a good time to hit
the dotties in the gym or
grab some more snacks."
People milled around,
heading for different goals.
"I'm sorry I didn't get through
the introductions fast enough,"
said Elowyn. "I tried, but you
know geeks, they run away with
the conversation sometimes."
"Not your fault," said Denis.
"I'm the one who put my foot in
my mouth, however accidentally."
"It'll all blow over," Boss Blaster said.
"Look, they're coming back already,
so it can't have been too bad."
"Hello again. I'm Dr. Graham Finn,"
he said. "This is my son Edison,
who designed the cars that we're
testing today. I'm afraid the topics
of ethics and technology are still
sensitive after events this spring."
"I'm sorry I ran off, that was rude,"
Edison said. He looked like he'd
taken time to wash his face,
and his voice sounded clear.
"I'm sorry for upsetting you,"
said Denis. "I didn't mean
to raise a touchy topic. I can
head home if you want, or
just stay out of your way."
"Apology accepted,"
Edison said. "You don't
have to leave. It would be
rude to invite you and then
make you leave when you
didn't do anything wrong."
"I did upset you, though,"
Denis pointed out.
"Not on purpose,"
said Edison. "I'm
sorry about being
oversensitive today."
"You're not --" Denis said.
Edison held up a hand. "Yes.
I am. That's not my imagination,
it's a clinical assessment. We
checked. Besides, I know how
I was last year, and I know how
I am now. I'm only about 65%
back to my baseline, and that
still frustrates me quite a lot."
"Gosh, that would drive me
nuts, too," said Denis. "No
wonder it bothers you. Could
I do anything to help with that?"
"Yes, I would like to accept
your generous offer to discuss
zetetic ethics," said Edison.
"Da and I talked about it a bit,
and he thinks it's a good idea.
I need to learn how to consider
ethical implications in my work
without stifling the creativity."
"I'm ashamed to say that it
never occurred to me to call
an expert ethicist," said Dr. G.
"Edison has family support and
therapists, he has friends who
know all about Super-Gizmology,
but nobody specializing in ethics --
which concerns him greatly now."
"Oh yeah, that's a big issue,"
said Denis. "Let's see, I've taken
a focus area in ethics, including
applied ethics of superpowers.
Currently I'm in Advanced Ethics
and an internship with a think tank
about superpower integration."
"Maybe I should be arranging
a time to talk with you too,"
Dr. G said. "Given my work
at Soup to Nuts, that could
be very useful professionally."
"Here's my card," Denis said,
offering it. "No charge to chat,
because I goofed today."
"All right, that's fair enough for
our first meeting," said Dr. G.
"From there we can discuss
how we want to proceed."
"That's good," Edison said,
worming his way between
his father and Boss Blaster
so he could hug both at once.
"Oh, you're a snuggler?"
Denis said as he looked at
Edison. "I like snuggles too."
"Really?" Edison said, looking up.
"Yeah, we used to wear him until
he got too big for it," said Elowyn.
Denis was, in fact, draped over her
at the moment where they sat together.
Edison sighed. "I'm getting too heavy
for some people already," he said. "I
won't be able to do that much longer."
"Then we'll find you some stronger friends,"
said Zipper. "There must be a few strongmen
who would like to find a new cuddle partner."
"Oh, that's a great idea!" said Edison.
"They can lift even the grownups."
Bruni leaned over. "Edison, are you
really open to cuddling strongmen?"
"Sure," said Edison. "Why wouldn't
I be? They're just like anyone else."
"Most people feel skittish around them,"
Bruni said. He printed something on
the back of a card. "Please, please
call. It's hard to find anyone willing
to get close with strongmen."
"But that can leave people
touch-starved!" Edison said,
passing the card to his father.
"That's horrible, and it's
bad for mental health."
"I'm sure we can find
some strongmen who'd
like to cuddle," said Dr. G. "I
can ask around Soup to Nuts, and
try Roger the next time he visits.
He's quite tactile with Leo and
Olivia, so he may say yes."
Bruni's eyebrows went up.
"You know 'Roger' too?"
"Yeah, they came to visit
earlier this year when things
were crummy," said Edison.
"Leo and Olivia are my squishes.
I guess Roger could be too, I
just haven't seen him as much."
"He's very talented," said Bruni.
"Have you noticed his gold tie pin?"
"Yeah, he's worn that every time
I've seen him so far," said Edison.
"Well, he made that pin himself,
to demonstrate his finesse,"
said Bruni. "He is justifiably
quite proud of his control."
"He must have worked
hard on that," said Dr. G.
"I noticed it too, it has
very delicate wirework."
"Say that to Roger and he
will go on and on about how
ductile gold is," Bruni warned.
"Uncle Tolli and Cousin Hugo
are like that too," said Edison.
"I think all metalworkers are."
"All materials scientists too,"
said Rossi. "At least that's
how they are in my family."
"My Family too," said Bruni.
"Nonna had to ban car talk
at the supper table, or they'd
never talk about anything else."
Edison nodded. "Halley told me
some families do that with anything
which gets too repetitive. Others
just ban gross talk over food."
"That's a good rule," Elowyn said,
then chuckled. "We rarely have
that kind of problem in my family,
though -- too many different interests!"
"My big picture questions, Elowyn's teaching,
Girard and Dad's architecture, Isadora and
Mom's art businesses, it all adds up fast,"
said Denis. "It keeps life interesting."
"Don't forget Ned's public outreach
and Orion's hunting," Elowyn added.
"Now it sounds like our family,"
said Dr. G. "We run to medics,
but we also have an oceanographer,
a nanny, two inventors, two soldiers,
and an artist -- plus significant others."
Elowyn and Denis looked at each other.
"We should invite you over," they chorused.
"Would Clan Finn actually fit in your house?"
Dr. G said dryly. "There are a lot of us."
"Oh yeah, that place is enormous,"
said Boss Blaster. "They have all kinds
of function spaces, inside and out -- they
built a tot lot on the roof of their garage."
"That sounds lovely," said Dr. G.
"Our old house in Atwood used
to be a day care. The back yard
had more play equipment than
the nearest pocket park did."
"It looks like folks are ready
for another round of testing,"
Boss Blaster observed.
"Edison, what about you?"
"I really need to snuggle,"
said Edison. "I can still
watch the cars, though."
"Well, you'll need a new lap,
because I want to try out
the 'speedster special' you
cooked up," said Boss Blaster.
"Feel free to climb aboard,"
Denis invited. "I could
sure use a snuggle too."
Edison promptly crawled
into his lap. "Thanks,"
he said. "This makes it
easier for me to think."
"Yeah, it does for me too,"
said Denis. "I know a bunch
of nerds like that, we get into
these big cuddle puddles for
the think tank sometimes.
Then there are the folks
who want their own chair."
"My sister Aida is like that,
she likes her own space, but
not because she doesn't love us,"
said Edison. "And Cousin Hugo
likes telepathic snuggles better."
Denis grinned. "That sounds
amazing," he said. "I've never
had telepathic snuggles before."
"That could probably be arranged,
if you'd like to try it," said Dr. G.
"Telepaths have similar challenges
as strongmen in finding friends."
"People are weird," said Edison.
"Life is way more interesting
with all kinds of friends in it."
"Hear, hear," said Denis.
"Most of my closest friends
are fellow freaks, and I like it
that way. Then I don't feel like
the odd one out. My family
loves me, but they don't
always understand me."
"Let me guess, you're
the theorist in a household
of practicalists?" said Dr. G.
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
Denis said. "Most people
see how affectionate we are
and think that I fit in just fine."
"I recognize the signs, and
besides, I heard the list of
family professions earlier,"
Dr. G said. "It's familiar."
"All right, folks, we're
ready to resume testing,"
Boss Blaster called. "Bethan,
are you up for taking part in
the speedster special with me?"
"Oh, you are on," she said, then
blurred her way to the yellow car.
Boss Blaster tucked himself
into the red car, then carefully
adjusted everything in the cockpit.
He and Bethan positioned themselves
at the starting line, then he touched
the button that signaled readiness.
The race started, and they zoomed off,
the two cars perfectly matched.
Then the boxes started flying.
Edison had set up a series
of catapult devices that would
randomly throw cardboard boxes
into the track, which the drivers
then had to avoid touching.
The boxes were so light
that they wouldn't damage
anything even if they hit,
but that'd be embarrassing.
Boss Blaster swooped around
the track, swerving gracefully
to miss the tumbling boxes.
The car danced in his hands
like a willow leaf on a river.
He was maybe a little in love.
When one of the boxes
hit Bethan's car, he whooped
in triumph and pulled his car
around to the finish line so
the next driver could get in.
That was Cash, who had egged
Ned and the other police drivers
into racing him one at a time
to see how badly they all did.
When Boss Blaster got back
to his seat, Denis and Edison
were deep in conversation about
the character choices in a movie.
"That car's handling is glorious,"
said Boss Blaster. "If I haven't
told you enough already, thank you
so much for sharing it with us today."
"You're welcome," said Edison.
"Thanks for helping me test it."
"I'm feeling better," Lou said.
"Can someone check me out?"
Molly and Dave both moved
at the same time. "I can do
the mental part, and you can
do the physical?" she said.
"Works for me," said Dave.
They ran a quick health check,
then approved Lou to drive.
"We'll give you a slot by yourself
after Cash finishes crushing
the cops," said Edison. "Start
driving slowly, then if you feel
okay, you can speed up."
"Will do," Lou said. "I'm
glad nobody else got sick."
"The inertial dampeners
are a safety feature, like
the firefighting foam in
the fuse boxes, but they
can be fiddly to set right,"
Edison said. "I'm glad
you're willing to try again."
"Wait, did you say there's
fire suppression foam
inside the fuse boxes?"
Lou asked. "How did
you do that, and why?"
"How is patented, and while
the cars are ready to be seen,
I can't give out details of new parts
because we're not done negotiating
contracts yet," Edison explained.
"That's okay," said Lou. "I'm
more interested in what it does
for safety than how it works,
because I'm a firefighter."
"Okay, I put fire suppression
inside the fuse boxes because
these cars have lots of electronics
fitting closely together," said Edison.
"The fuse box is about the size of
a card deck, and the canister is
about thumb size. In tight space,
a little extra heat can spark a fire."
"Right, because thermodynamics --"
Lou broke off, clearly not expecting
someone Edison's size to follow that.
"-- depend on air flow as well as
the materials science of anything
adjacent to the heat source,"
Edison finished gently. "So
a small box increases the risk
of fire, but I need to make
everything as small as I can
to reduce the car's weight."
"Could I ask if this technology
might make it into firefighting
some day?" Lou said wistfully.
"Sure," said Edison. "I could
design something for that. I just
started with a zoomwagon since
my sister's a paramedic. Talk
with my da and he'll see about
fitting this into my schedule. It'd
be fun to explore new ideas."
"We can do that," said Dr. G.
"I'm sure Edison would find
the current gear ... entertaining."
"How about I run a search for
a decommissioned firetruck
first," Boss Blaster said firmly.
"Ah, good point," said Dr. G.
"Please proceed, and send me
a cost estimate when you can."
"Used fire trucks cost anywhere
from $15,000 up to $500,000,"
Lou said promptly. "If you want
a recent model, it'll cost more
than an older one, but anything
decommissioned rather than
sold on will be cheap, basically
just the parts value of the vehicle."
"We can afford that," Dr. G said,
making Lou stare at him. "I'll chat
with our patent lawyers, but I'm sure
they'll be enthusiastic. There must
be a good market for equipment
useful in fire suppression."
By then, Cash had finished
trouncing the police drivers,
but he praised their efforts.
"Remember that most of you
have had one round of lessons,"
he said. "I've been Driving for
years, so it's not a fair fight."
"Then let someone else
have a turn," Bethan said
as she gave Barachiel
a sassy look. "Care
for a game of tag?"
"Oh, I'd love that,"
Barachiel said as he
bounded to his feet.
"I didn't bring a tag set,"
Edison said. "I thought
that cones would be
more useful, and those
were already here."
"Here, use mine,"
Rossi and Bruni
said simultaneously.
They produced two fobs
that looked like keychains.
"You stick one in the center
of the dash, and then aim for
your opponent's license plate,"
Rossi said. "You have to hold
the dot inside the frame for
a full second to count. It's
an automatic function."
Boss Blaster wasn't
going to ask why they
carried that kind of
toy in their pockets.
"This is awesome,"
Bethan said, and
Barachiel nodded.
They scurried off
toward the cars.
Edison grinned and
climbed into Ned's lap
to watch the game.
It took a while for
anyone to score,
but eventually
Bethan won.
Then of course,
Ned demanded
a rematch using
the tag equipment.
It was hilarious watching
the cops chase Cash, trying
and failing to tag him at all.
"It's like he's played this
before," said Boss Blaster.
"Of course," said Bruni.
"We want Drivers to have
the best skills possible, so
we share tools for that."
"You should see the tests
in Italy," Rossi said smugly.
Boss Blaster's vidwatch
chimed a reminder.
"Last round before
lunch," he declared.
"We'll do grass tests
after we've eaten."
By the time he had
rounded up everyone,
the pig roast was all ready.
"Ride, please," Edison wheedled,
reaching up for Boss Blaster.
Boosting Edison to his shoulders,
Boss Blaster carried him to
the tables piled with food.
"High-burn folks in front,
followed by children and
any other special needs,"
he said, shaping the line
as he set Edison down.
"Everyone else in turn."
That put Bethan and Rossi
with him, both looking a bit
put out because they couldn't
stand with their usual friends.
"It's just for the food line,"
Boss Blaster assured them.
"I don't want anyone faceplanting
from lack of fuel. Once we've got
food, we can sit wherever we want."
Some folks seemed slower,
having eaten a bit too much
of their pieces of eight winnings.
Thandi waved cheerfully at them
with her serving equipment.
"The real pig's over here,
and those smokers have
vegan stuff," she directed.
Boss Blaster loaded his plate
with barbecued baby back ribs,
caprese cherry tomato salad,
California avocado fruit salad,
then pines of romanesco.
He made sure to dish up
lentil chili with black beans
both in a bowl and over
a jumbo pork wiener.
It all smelled so good.
Boss Blaster wound up
sitting with Dr. G and Edison,
who had gotten some of
the pulled pork sandwiches.
That kid was going to need
a change of clothes for sure.
"Don't worry, I always bring
spare clothes," Dr. G said,
as if reading his mind. "And
everyone asks about that."
"No problem," Boss Blaster said,
turning to his food. The pork ribs
just about fell apart before he
could get them into his mouth,
but they tasted so good.
The tomato salad had
a wonderful variety of
flavors from all those
different heirlooms.
The avocado fruit salad
was richer than he was used to,
but it still worked pretty well.
He was less sure about
the pines of romanesco,
but it was interesting to try.
The pork wiener was juicy
and savory with zesty spices.
The chili was delicious, rich and
satisfying in ways vegetarian dishes
often weren't. Maybe that came
from mixing beans and lentils.
Boss Blaster scraped his spoon
around the bottom of the bowl.
Yeah, he'd get that again.
"Who wants ice cream?"
Cash called, waving a hand.
Boss Blaster shamelessly
used his superpower to dash
for the front of the line, only
to crash into Bethan and
knock her into Rossi.
Cash laughed at them.
"You three kids behave,"
he said. "Okay, pick flavors."
Boss Blaster went right for
the Rocky Mountain Road Trip.
He'd had huckleberries before.
The ice cream did taste
amazingly like a road trip.
It was dark and sweet,
crunchy in places with
a ribbon of caramel, and
there were huckleberries
hiding inside of it too.
Edison, clutching a bowl of
Mango Ginger Jam, was
back in his father's lap.
"So, how do you feel about
the car testing so far?"
Boss Blaster said.
"It's going well, and
I only had to open up
the toolbox once,"
said Edison. "I'm
getting good data.
It stinks that Lou got
sick, but he's better."
"I'm happy to hear that,"
said Boss Blaster. "I've
really enjoyed racing."
Cash plopped down on
Boss Blaster's other side.
"Yeah," said Cash. "You
can't beat a day spent with
the best drivers in the world."
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its character, setting, and content notes appear separately.
Yay!
Date: 2022-09-30 04:27 am (UTC)