Philosophical Questions: Asking Questions

[ysabetwordsmith]

People have expressed interest in deep topics, so this list focuses on philosophical questions.


What two questions would you ask to get the most information about who a person truly is?

Well, I could ask, "What is your life purpose?" but 1) most people don't know theirs, and 2) that's really intimate for a getting-to-know-you situation.

"What's your favorite book?" is probably safer and likely to be useful. If they say "That's like asking which is my favorite child," I'll probably like them even if we prefer different genres. If they can specify a favorite, it'll give me some useful clues. Any variation of "I don't read much" means a very low chance of connection.

Comments

[siliconshaman]

I tend not to answer questions like; "What do you want?" and "Who do you trust?". Evidence would suggest it doesn't end well when strangers ask you those types of questions.

"What is your life purpose?" would be another one like that.

I honestly couldn't tell you what my favorite book is.. well apart from the ones I've written myself. Apart from anything else, I don't usually remember titles. I could tell you everything about the story, but the book's title and who wrote it, tends to be forgettable. But also, yeah, picking just one? Nope..

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>I tend not to answer questions like; "What do you want?" and "Who do you trust?". Evidence would suggest it doesn't end well when strangers ask you those types of questions.

"What is your life purpose?" would be another one like that.<<

Yeah, like I said, the categories of "most revealing possible questions" and "questions that are suitable for strangers to discuss" are largely at opposite ends of the conversational spectrum. But then again ...

Find the others.

>> I honestly couldn't tell you what my favorite book is.. well apart from the ones I've written myself. Apart from anything else, I don't usually remember titles. I could tell you everything about the story, but the book's title and who wrote it, tends to be forgettable.<<

Yeah, I'm not great at that either, though I can do some.

Re: Thoughts

[siliconshaman]

But.."What do you want?"

Who the person asking the question is, is also important when considering the answer.

Re: Thoughts

[(Anonymous)]

I mean...its one of those things that varies by context.

It can be a blunt deterrent wielded against an unpleasant person. It can be an affirmation of humanity and agency directed to a total stranger or chosen family or anyone in between. It can be used to mark yourself a safe or an ally to someone who has every reason to distrust you. It can manipulate someone who hasn't ever been offered a choice before, by anyone. It can be used as a form of appeasement against an aggressive person whose demands are unclear. It's part of the Socratic method, of therapy, and the underlying question of many, many relationships, business and otherwise.

[krait]

An interesting question! A lot of thought always goes into answering it: Do I give my most recent favourite? My most long-standing favourite? My favourite within a genre the asker and I are discussing? There's a lot of things that go into my assessment of "favourite" status, and a lot that must be read in the question depending on context and asker.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

All of those would give enlightening answers, but the fact that you offered several iterative questions tells me that you are a complete booknerd and likely quite compatible.

I'd probably go, "I have lined my house with over 10,000 books. Please select a category."

[arlie]

Rather than "what's your life purpose", perhaps "if you won 100 million dollars, what would you do". Less threatening, but likely to get at some of the same things. (I picked 100 million as more than "live comfortably for life" money, but not totally insane.)

As for the book question, I think my best answer would have to be - "have a look at my LibraryThing account, noting that I still have plenty more to catalog". It even has ratings, but I certainly couldn't pick one favorite out of all those I've given their top rating. (LT informs me I've recorded 3299 books, but 954 of those came from some library, and 40 are rejects - if I ever owned them, I don't now. But I've only rated 699 of them, and only given out 28 top (5 star) ratings.)

Oops - software glitch - I accidentally didn't count borrowed books. That should be 1406 ratings, 36 of them 5 stars.

[pronker]

I'd ask "What's your favorite sport?" and go from there, with similar reasons in your last para. If they answer, "To play or to watch?" I'd have information on how physical they are. A response such as "My playing days are behind me, but I used to jai alai," would give me another clue. Also, if the sport is basically singular, such as marathoning, as opposed to team sports like soccer, then I'd know more about them.

Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

I agree that's a useful question for folks who are into sports.

Something I get a clue from

[ng_moonmoth]

Back when I was interviewing people for tech jobs at companies I was working at, I would often end an interview with "Tell me a joke." Finding out something about someone's sense of humor, and what they find funny, gives me a degree of understanding about them. It's also unlikely to be something they've rehearsed, so the answer was more spontaneous and revelatory. And, it seemed to me like a useful form of relief from a pressure situation.

It's noteworthy to me that spouse and I have very compatible senses of humor. There's a good chance that something one of us finds humorous will also be humorous to the other, and intended jokes that fall flat or are offensive will evoke similar reactions in us both.

Re: Something I get a clue from

[(Anonymous)]

Also, jokes can tell you about the state of a relationship.

Friendly mutual affectionate joking as a form of play? Probably a strong and trusting bond.

One way joking, with the non-jokey person being 'stiff?' Not great.

A previously affectionate relationship switching over to a non-joking state indicates deterioration of the relationship.

In larger than two person groups, it helps to be compatible with whatever the 'humor culture' is...and also, I'd want to know if people will stop when someone is uncomfortable or does not want to play, especially as that often carries over to other forms of socializing..

Re: Something I get a clue from

[ysabetwordsmith]

Oh, that is brilliant.

I have a great appreciation for wordplay, but very little memory for reciting jokes.

One of the things that clues people to my serious multiculturalism is that I often find intraethnic jokes hilarious -- the ones outsiders never seem to get. Like the green frog skin bit in Lame Deer, Seeker of Visions where it said that would make a great scene in a movie, but no white person would understand it. It makes me laugh until I can't breathe. I liked it so much that I once gave it in a prompt call, and got a pretty good ficlet back. :D

[mdlbear]

"What do you do for fun?" (or equivalently "What do you do when you're not working?") is a good one.

"What kind of music do you like?" is another good one. I've found some fascinating music that way that I would not otherwise have run across.

Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

I agree that those are revealing questions, and reasonably fit the parameters of what is decent to ask a stranger.

[(Anonymous)]

If I know or can infer someone speaks a different language (than English - local lingua franca) I may ask about that. I find languages interesting, plus I have often been in environments where you need to remember who speaks what to which degree to facilitate (occasionally quite unusual) Translation Chains.

Now if I wanted to set an Impossible Task for someone, I'd ask them something like "What's a flaw in the Turing Test?" that doesn't have a set right answer.

With recently-visiting younger relatives (who I have met previously but don't see often), I would use "What do you want to talk about?" and be sure to check in every so often that they were still having fun with the conversation.

My family tends to produce really smart people, so many of us have similar-yet-unusual interests. At the same time, I don't want to be the Annoying Older Relative who drags the conversation around.

...Also, I figure "Are you still having fun with this conversation/game/whatever?" is a good way to model consent and prosocial skills, and that will hopefully instill healthy confidence and self-worth.