Poem: "Everyday Birds"

[ysabetwordsmith]

This is today's freebie, inspired by a prompt from siberian_skys. It also fills the "turkey" square in my 8-1-22 card for the Reel Time Bingo fest. It belongs to the series Love Is For Children.


"Everyday Birds"


Steve and Bucky had
grown up where things
like turkey or goose were
reserved for holidays like
Thanksgiving and Christmas.

In Avengers Tower, though,
those were everyday birds,
plopped onto a platter
once or twice a week
because they were big
enough to feed a room
full of hungry superheroes.

Bruce never bothered
with using a cookbook.

He ran the math in his head
for how long it would take
to cook so many pounds.

He had a world's worth of
spices to make marinades
and dry rubs to add flavor.

There were roast turkeys and
brined turkeys, fried turkeys
and smoked turkeys, even
occasionally barbecued ones.

There were geese swimming
in grease and others baked crisp,
piled with potatoes fried in goose fat.

The only time anything hit a snag was
when Tony heard about deep-fried turkey
and Bruce pitched a fit about safety issues.

Having seen the videos of exploding turkeys,
Steve honestly couldn't blame Bruce for it.

There were restaurants that sold them, though,
so it was simple enough to get one delivered.

It was pretty good turkey, but it wasn't
quite as good as the ones Bruce made.
Even Tony had to admit that much.

If they were very, very lucky
and managed to get a bird
over twenty pounds, then
there would be leftovers
to enjoy the next day.

That was usually when
Steve and Bucky got a turn
in the kitchen, because they
remembered so many ways
to make sandwiches, stews,
casseroles, fryups, and jumbles
from whatever they could find.

It was nice to have fresh vegetables
to go with the leftover meat, though.

They picked the meat off the bones
and passed the carcass to Bruce,
who made stock the old familiar way

until the whole Tower smelled like home.

* * *

Notes:

Calculate how much turkey you need to feed a certain size crowd. Superheroes need more fuel in general, and this team has several folks with a high-burn metabolism.

Explore recipes for whole turkey and turkey leftovers. Deep-frying is a risky method.

Enjoy recipes for domestic goose, wild goose, and goose leftovers. Goose fat is a gourmet cooking ingredient.

Learn how to make stock. Any kind of poultry carcass will work.

Food smells tend to make people happy -- especially folks who have gone hungry in the past.

Comments

[siberian_skys]

I really enjoyed this. Thank you. I've been missing Love Is For Children. I was glad that you were able to knock off one of your bingo card prompts as well.

Yay!

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I really enjoyed this. Thank you. <<

*bow, flourish* Happy to be of assistance.

>>I've been missing Love Is For Children.<<

It all depends on what prompts I get.

>> I was glad that you were able to knock off one of your bingo card prompts as well.<<

Very convenient! :D

Re: Yay!

[siberian_skys]

The ironic thing is that I'm struggling with my bingo card. My brain is not working.

Am I old fashioned?

[dialecticdreamer]

I've got a bag of veggie scraps and a bag of cooked chicken bones in the freezer specifically for making either chicken (bone) broth or veggie broth, and it's rare that I do NOT have an ongoing stash if there's no stock bubbling on the stove.

As for leftovers, one of the best ways to make turkey bone broth is, after denuding the carcass, put it in water and bring it to a boil for ten or fifteen minutes, then turn the heat to the lowest possible level to maintain a bare simmer. Leave for twenty-four hours, save for regular intervals of gentle stirring.

The bones, when removed, will be significantly softer after the full cooking time, and the color will be deep and rich. The flavor barely, barely, needs the touch of salt and pepper, and if there were a few sprigs of rosemary in the pot, probably none at all.

[kelkyag]

<warm fuzzies>

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

I'm glad you liked this.

[helgatwb]

This makes me smile.

Yay!

[ysabetwordsmith]

I'm happy to hear that.

[siliconshaman]

If someone uses mad science to recreate an Aepyornithidae Elephant bird, it's gonna end up on the Avengers dinner table, no doubt!

Also deep-fat frying a turkey is a lot easier and safer if you use an induction heater or heater coil in the fat, and a vessel that's at least 25 gallons in size. People always use pots the turkey only just fits in, then forget archimedes law..

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> If someone uses mad science to recreate an Aepyornithidae Elephant bird, it's gonna end up on the Avengers dinner table, no doubt! <<

LOL yes.

>> Also deep-fat frying a turkey is a lot easier and safer if you use an induction heater or heater coil in the fat, <<

Interesting.

>> and a vessel that's at least 25 gallons in size. People always use pots the turkey only just fits in, then forget archimedes law.. <<

Well, it depends on the size of the turkey. The smallest ones are barely bigger than chickens, the largest are so big you'd have a hard time fitting them in a home stockpot. You need a container about twice the size of the turkey, slightly less than half full, so when you put the turkey in, the oil covers it but is still several inches below the rim.

The major problem I see is that water makes hot oil explode, and a raw turkey is by definition moist. Even if it's never been frozen and has been patted dry, there's going to be enough moisture to make the oil spit. Plus of course, deep-frying things is much less healthy than any other method of cooking turkey.

Re: Thoughts

[siliconshaman]

Again, that's the problem with the size of the pot. You need one that is at minimum three times the volume of the bird, to allow for boil-over (or rather prevent it).

That said... the solution is to start out with oil that is warm-to-hot but not at frying temperature. Batter or breadcrumbs coating it also helps. The point being to prevent flash boiling the moisture content and creating a steam explosion flinging boiling oil everywhere.

That said... you could also use a variant of a pressure cooker, with a fast-sealing lid to keep the steam and boiling oil inside. But you'd have to build a substantial cooker to contain it, otherwise what you've got is a flash-fried turkey bomb...

Re: Thoughts

[(Anonymous)]

>>...otherwise what you've got is a flash-fried turkey bomb...<<

I remember reading somewhere that melted chocolate makes for a pretty good weapon...I have never tried this and never intend to, for both ethical reasons and the very pragmatic "That's a waste of perfectly good chocolate!"

...now I'm imagining Pat from Schrodinger's Heroes using a pressure cooker turkeybomb as an improvised weapon.

Re: Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

Hot grits, near enough to Southern napalm.

Re: Thoughts

[(Anonymous)]

There was a movie where someone used that as advice for how to deal with an abusive fiancé.

And I have heard that one should never get into a fight in either a kitchen or bathroom, if it can be helped. Both have too many slippery surfaces and sharp corners. At least in the kitchen there are far too many hot, sharp, or hot-and-sharp things to be safe, including knives (some of which are designed to cut that very stuff humans are made of). Bathrooms tend to be rather confined in terms of space, which disadvantages a smaller combatant.

Re: Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Bathrooms tend to be rather confined in terms of space, which disadvantages a smaller combatant.<<

The main disadvantage is they usually have just one door. The size difference, if large enough, means a bulky opponent is hindered in cramped space while a small person can scramble through places he won't fit. Advantage of space depends much upon perception; if one has a swashbuckling or freerunning perspective, a bathroom or kitchen offers ample opportunities to make an opponent miserable while bounding out of reach.

Re: Thoughts

[siliconshaman]

Yup, melted chocolate is a lot like napalm if it's hot enough. And the pressure cooker turkey bomb would be a devastating weapon because if there's an external ignition source what you have is steam-driven fuel/air thermobaric bomb, combined with napalm and bone shrapnel.

Re: Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

Now I'm imagining some hapless supervillain trying to convince a superhero or cop NOT to mess with that, it's not a mad science experiment, it is Thanksgiving dinner, but it will explode if provoked.

Re: Thoughts

[siliconshaman]

Giggling at the thought! Go on, dare you to write it!

Re: Thoughts

[siliconshaman]

Also, now imagining a course on combat Culinary arts...

[erulisse]

If you have a big enough oven you could always roast an ostrich.

[acelightning73]

WHat if the elephant bird doesn't TASTE very good? With all that mass to life, just about all of its muscles will be dark meat, and I don' like dark meat.

And whose brilliant idea was it to heat several gallons of cooking oil over a GAS FLAME?

[(Anonymous)]

>>Food smells tend to make people happy -- especially folks who have gone hungry in the past.<<

Beware of allergies and cases where people just plain have an aversion to stuff, sometimes for no discernable reason.

Sometimes I think cooking meat smells disgusting. I am not vegetarian; I have no associated traumatic memories or meat allergies. I may have a slightly better than average sense of smell, but I am not sure how to test that theory* - and even if it is true, why the strong reaction to, say, cooking chicken as opposed to cabbage or brussels sprouts or something? (Even if the veggies taste unpalatable, they don't get the same visceral "yuck!" reaction.)

*I'm pretty sure that I can sometimes smell the metals in sunscreen, and base alcohol in perfume. Never found a perfume I liked enough to buy, at least, (though maybe I just don't like artificial scents-trying-to-pass-for real?) Plus I am female - which means my smelling-abilities are likely already slightly better than human-average if not controlling for gender differences.

I'll usually just avoid that area of the house or breathe through my nose when I'm nearby, or whatever. And there's a distinct possibility that someone trying to cook, like, chicken soup From Scratch would not make me feel better in my environment.

[fuzzyred]

Eeeee! So delightful! 💖💖💖💖💖

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

I'm glad you enjoyed this.

[erulisse]

Yuuum! I bet crispy duck would go over well with this crowd too, although you might need several.

Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

I'm sure they'd love it, but you'd need about 1 duck per 2 Avengers. Ducks aren't very big.

[acelightning73]

I found a meat market that sells turkey breasts (boneless/skinless) and I have a YouTube recipe for "deli turkey for sandwiches", so I made one for dinner yesterday. It smelled so good! I'm happy that my ancestors learned that the big stupid birds with the colorful tail feathers were so delicious when cooked! And when we got home from the street fair (where I couldn't eat any of the fried fair foods, like zeppoli), we sliced up the leftover turkey and ate it for dinner. Unless I get a sudden craving for turkey in a month or so, the next one will be for Thansgiving. And by then I'll be able to put butter in the basting liquid.

deep fried turkey

[starbit]

The only time anything hit a snag was when Tony heard about deep-fried turkey and Bruce pitched a fit about safety issues.

Having seen the videos of exploding turkeys, Steve honestly couldn't blame Bruce for it.

I mean, avengers tower has a big flat bit (landing pad?) that's probably concrete or some other non flammable material, so you could deep fry a turkey up there if you installed some wind breaks. you'd need to research the blast radius of a potential failure to make sure it's smaller than the size of the landing pad, but it should be doable. either that or just find an empty parking lot somewhere

if the issue is potential damage to a person then they have access to fireproof suits

I do get that that's a lot of work for one dinner though, and maybe they don't want to do that

Re: deep fried turkey

[ysabetwordsmith]

The safety issue is one reason. But if it explodes or otherwise goes wrong, then they don't have their main course. Many of the Avengers would be very unhappy about that.