Poem: "Repair Just About Anything"
May. 8th, 2021 02:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem is spillover from the December 1, 2020 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from chanter1944 and Anonymous. It also fills the "Smörgåsbord" square in my 12-1-20 card for the Winter Fest Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette, following the ones posted in honor of the National Day of Awareness for Missing and Murdered Native Women and Girls. It belongs to the Iron Horses thread of the Polychrome Heroics series. For the introduction of the main characters, begin with "Whatever You Do to the Animals," "Reaching Out to Rescue One Another," and "To Prevent Future Tragedies." This poem is the last in a set of four, after "Ways to Make the Pain Go Away," "Quicker Than You Can Lower Them," and "A Crazy and Drunk Life."
Warning: This poem is mostly making up and comfort after the wrecktastic events of the previous three, but it does involve discussing the same sticky issues.
"Repair Just About Anything"
[Saturday, October 3, 2015]
It was dark when Warshirt
finally pulled into his driveway.
As long as he was going to
Natural Grocers anyway, he
had taken the opportunity
to stock up on things that
he couldn't always get locally,
like recycled toilet paper and
floor wash with real pine oil.
When he went inside, he saw
Spotted Deer sitting on the steps
leading up to her loft bedroom.
Probably because Warshirt had
promised never to go up there
unless she invited him.
"I'm sorry," he said to her.
"What I did was wrong and
I shouldn't have done it."
Spotted Deer didn't come
any closer, but to his surprise,
she said, "I'm sorry too. Lin
says I should've asked first,
but you shouldn't have
yelled or swung at me."
"Lin is a very wise woman
and we should both listen
to her," Warshirt said.
Spotted Deer glided
down from her place
and came over to him.
"You bought groceries?"
"I brought a concrete apology,"
said Warshirt. "I figured you
wouldn't be impressed by meat."
She stared at him as he unpacked
bags of organic produce, leaving
the regular groceries for later.
Her ears flicked forward and
locked on the rustling bags;
her nosepad twitched too,
scenting the air for clues.
Out came alfalfa sprouts
and red clover sprouts, plus
sunflower sprouts and seeds.
The pea shoots were a bit bigger
with several leaves and spiral tendrils.
The carton of winter mix salad greens
had assorted herbs tossed into it.
There were round pink radishes and
long white ones, red and green cabbages,
and six different kinds of heirloom apples.
Another carton held four little lettuce heads
complete with roots, two red and two green.
There was a square pot of wheatgrass
and a round pot of peppermint.
"Wow," said Spotted Deer.
"You really went all out."
"I really feel sorry for
upsetting you," he said.
"Where did you even find
all this?" said Spotted Deer.
"Stores here don't carry much."
"I uh ... drove to Natural Grocers
over in Kalispell," said Warshirt.
"How far is that?" she asked.
"Lin said you'd be gone a while."
"It's about a three-hour round trip from
here, plus shopping time," said Warshirt,
"and I started out from Rocky Boy's."
"You did all that for me?" she said.
"Yes, I did," said Warshirt.
"You deserve better."
"What else did you get?"
Spotted Deer asked, looking
at the other shopping bags.
"A big bag of oatmeal, which we
both like, plus smaller bags of granola
and dried fruit," Warshirt explained as he
unpacked them. "Recycled paper towels,
toilet paper, and aluminum foil. Floor wash,
laundry detergent, and other cleaners
made from natural ingredients."
It made quite a smorgasbord
spread on the dining room table.
"What are we going to do with
all this?" said Spotted Deer.
"I figured we could have salads
with supper," said Warshirt. "I can
put leftover meat on mine. You
can take it or leave it. I don't
know how much meat you want."
"A little, sometimes," she said.
"I remember it's hard to make
a healthy diet from plants alone,
but I don't remember the details."
"I'll help you look them up later,"
said Warshirt. "For now, I just
bought things that deer love."
Her ears flicked at him. "Is that
why they taste so good?" she said.
"Yeah, probably," said Warshirt
as he started putting things away.
"You're part Two-Legged and
part Four-Legged, so it makes
sense for your tastes to match."
Spotted Deer helped him put
things away, at least the ones
that she knew where they went.
She couldn't resist nibbling on
the wheatgrass and peppermint
before setting them on a windowsill.
Warshirt smiled. If she was eating
his offerings instead of throwing them
at his head, she'd probably forgive him.
After they finished putting away
the groceries, Warshirt went into
the living room and sat down on
the futon. "We need to talk."
"We said we were sorry."
Spotted Deer looked baffled.
"Yeah, but that won't fix what
went wrong," said Warshirt.
He patted the arm of the futon.
"Come on, pick a seat."
Spotted Deer took
the glide rocker
right next to him.
"Thank you for
putting up with me,"
said Warshirt. "There
are some things that
I should've told you
earlier but didn't."
"You told me that you
were kind of messed up,"
said Spotted Deer.
"Yeah, but I didn't say
why or how or what to do
about it," Warshirt explained.
"Why is I'm a veteran and I saw ...
some pretty bad shit over in
Afghanistan. And at home."
"I've seen bad things, too,"
Spotted Deer pointed out.
"Which is probably why
we stepped on each other,"
Warshirt said. "How is that
I don't sleep well, and when
I do sleep, sometimes I have
nightmares. Really bad ones."
"I know," said Spotted Deer.
Had he woken her up screaming
or thumping around at night? Had he
had dreams that bad this month?
Yeah, a couple of times. Shit.
"I'm sorry about that too,"
Warshirt said. "You shouldn't
have to deal with that."
"I didn't know what to do,"
Spotted Deer said, fidgeting.
"Do not come into my room
and try to shake me awake,"
Warshirt warned. "It's not safe."
"Okay," said Spotted Deer.
"But if you're ... upset?
How can I help you?"
"Bang on the door and
call my name," he said.
"I should wake up."
"I will," she promised.
"So that's part of it,"
Warshirt said. "I also
have traumatic stress,
and I deal with that --
badly -- by getting drunk."
"Is that why ... yesterday?"
said Spotted Deer. "You didn't
sleep well the night before."
"Yeah, that started it," he said.
"Then my truck blew a tire,
I had a bad flashback, and
basically lost my shit."
"I'm sorry that you had
such a bad day," she said.
"The hell of it is, I can't even
promise not to do it again, all I
can promise is to make amends
when I do," said Warshirt. "It's
technically a drinking problem,
not alcoholism, because it's
not a physical dependency ...
but I still can't stop doing it."
"Some habits are hard
to break," said Spotted Deer.
"Yeah," said Warshirt. "I go
on benders instead of drinking
every day, but on a bad day,
I usually can't resist temptation.
Then I wind up getting smashed,
and well ... you saw the rest."
"You were really sick when you
got home," said Spotted Deer.
"I was drunk," said Warshirt.
"Let's call a spade a spade."
Spotted Deer shook her head,
ears flapping. "You were sick,"
she insisted. "I could smell it.
Something inside you was wrong."
"You mean you can smell ... what?
Chemical imbalances?" he said.
"One doctor told me that my body
is messed up, the biochemistry
isn't steady like it should be.
Mostly I'm fine, but sometimes
everything seems to go haywire."
"I don't know," Spotted Deer said.
"I haven't had a chance to learn
what any of it means. I just
know you were sick last night."
"Okay, maybe we can figure it out
later," said Warshirt. "You deserve
opportunities to discover what
you can do with your gifts."
"But you didn't like it,"
Spotted Deer whispered.
"I was trying to help, and
it just made you angry."
"You didn't ask first,"
Warshirt said. "That's
what freaked me out.
In the past, people doing
things to me when I'm drunk
has ended badly, and I'm not
dropping my pants to show you."
Spotted Deer giggled. "Tattoo?"
"Yeah, my cousins thought it
was hilarious," said Warshirt.
"Anyhow, Many Tongues told me
to ask why you didn't get consent
before doing ... whatever you did."
"I know how to handle drunks,"
said Spotted Deer. "I learned that
if I make them comfortable, they're
less likely to yell or hit. But it was
safer if they didn't know about it."
And then Warshirt had yelled
and swatted at her anyhow.
That put him in great company.
"Okay, that's a valid reason,"
he said. "I didn't think of that.
Can we figure out a better way
to handle this next time?"
"But you didn't like it,"
Spotted Deer repeated.
"Oh, I liked it, all right,"
said Warshirt. "You got
me to sleep, I didn't have
nightmares, and I wasn't
hungover this morning.
That was amazing."
"I just wanted you to be
okay," said Spotted Deer.
"I'm closer to okay than
I've been in a long time,
maybe ever," said Warshirt.
"After I got out of the army, I
tried a bunch of different things.
Most of the drugs made me feel
worse instead of better, and
the talk therapy was a bust."
"Nothing helped?" she said.
"That sounds really sad."
"It's frustrating," said Warshirt.
"Closest I came was the Red Road,
but I already had close ties with
my culture. Mostly what that one
did was show me that I wasn't
ready to give up getting drunk."
"Because you like the way
it feels?" said Spotted Deer.
"No, well yeah, it's fun too,
but that's not the main reason,"
said Warshirt. "It breaks the loop
in my brain. It turns off flashbacks
and it lets me get some sleep.
Nothing else has done that."
"Except me," said Spotted Deer.
"Exactly," Warshirt said. "Whatever
you did, it worked better than getting
drunk. I felt fine. I just didn't deal
very well with the surprise part."
"But if I asked ...?" she said,
then shook her head. "I don't
know if I can. Asking is hard."
Warshirt brushed a finger over
her hand. "Talking was hard, too,
and you've already gotten better at
that. You hardly ever choke up now."
"You're easier to talk with than
most people," said Spotted Deer.
Warshirt chuckled. "I doubt
many would agree with you."
"Then they don't know you
like I do," said Spotted Deer.
She'd only known him for
about a month, but then again,
they had spent a lot of time
together. He didn't do that
with many people anymore.
"Maybe so," said Warshirt.
"Listen, if you're willing after
my awful behavior, I want
to try again when I'm sober."
"Try what?" Spotted Deer said,
shifting restlessly in place.
"Whatever you did last night,"
said Warshirt. "You put me
to sleep somehow, didn't you?"
"Yes." She gave a wary nod.
"Can you do that, just a little,
now that I can pay attention?"
said Warshirt. "Or is what you
do an all-or-nothing effect?"
"It depends on what I want,
or what the other person
needs," said Spotted Deer.
"I can try if you want to."
"Yes, please," he said.
"What do I need to do?"
Spotted Deer crouched
beside him, reaching
up to stroke his face.
"Just breathe," she said.
The smell was a little different
this time, still warm and grassy, but
with a hint of honey instead of mint.
Warshirt wanted to lick the honey,
but that would be rude, so he just
turned his face into her hand.
Spotted Deer cupped her fingers
over his nose and mouth, making it
easier for him to catch the scent.
It was so good and soothing.
The world blurred and faded.
He felt gentle hands easing him
down onto the futon, then nothing.
Warshirt woke brimming with energy.
He hadn't felt that good in ... he
couldn't remember how long.
He stretched, enjoying how
light and clean his body felt.
He'd always had plenty of strength
and stamina, but he'd gotten so used
to feeling weighed down by baggage
that he'd forgotten what it was like
without dragging that weight.
This was strong medicine.
"How long was I out?"
he asked Spotted Deer.
"About fifteen minutes,"
she replied. "I didn't
push you very hard."
"I'm surprised it wasn't
longer," Warshirt said.
"How are you feeling?"
Spotted Deer asked,
her ears flicking.
"I feel fantastic, like I
got a good night's sleep,"
Warshirt said. "I can't
thank you enough."
"Oh, good," she said.
"I was worried that
you might not like it."
"I love it," said Warshirt.
Then he tilted his head.
"This feels almost familiar.
The day we met, you could
touch me and it didn't make
me twitchy like most people
do. I just felt calm. Were
you doing anything then?"
"Not exactly, I mean, not on
purpose," said Spotted Deer.
"Sometimes my body just
does that when I wish that
I was calm, or others were."
"Well, I'm not complaining,"
Warshirt said. "It helps. I'll be
very grateful if you keep it up."
"You can ask me any time,
if you get drunk ... or you think
about getting drunk and want
to try this instead. Or if you
can't sleep," said Spotted Deer.
"I'll try," said Warshirt. "I'm not
sure how well I'll do, because
drinking is a bad habit, and so
is keeping everything to myself."
Spotted Deer shrugged. "I don't
know if I can remember to ask first."
"We're talking about it now, so I
won't be surprised if you fix me later,"
Warshirt said. "Besides, we're both
trying new things and we know that
we might not get it right at first. It's
okay. We can practice together."
"I'd like that," Spotted Deer said.
"I want to learn what I can do."
"I want that too," said Warshirt.
"I'm so glad that you're still willing
to stick around after what I did."
"You're my friend," she said.
"I'm glad that you aren't still
angry with me for forgetting
to ask. Lin told me that it's
a very bad habit I picked up
from working at Merry Acres."
"Lie down with dogs, get up
with fleas," said Warshirt.
"You'll get past it, I'm sure.
We have both apologized,
so we can move on now."
"An apology is the maxitack of life,"
Spotted Deer said with a smile.
"It can repair just about anything."
"Yes, it can," said Warshirt. He
looked at the dark windows "Shall we
start supper? I've got some big sausages
that we could roast with cabbage and
apples, to go with the salads."
Spotted Deer bounded to her feet.
"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed, and
headed for the kitchen.
Warshirt followed, grateful
for the chance to repair anything.
It wasn't a chance he always got,
and for that alone, he valued her.
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its notes appear elsewhere.
chanter1944 and Anonymous. It also fills the "Smörgåsbord" square in my 12-1-20 card for the Winter Fest Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette, following the ones posted in honor of the National Day of Awareness for Missing and Murdered Native Women and Girls. It belongs to the Iron Horses thread of the Polychrome Heroics series. For the introduction of the main characters, begin with "Whatever You Do to the Animals," "Reaching Out to Rescue One Another," and "To Prevent Future Tragedies." This poem is the last in a set of four, after "Ways to Make the Pain Go Away," "Quicker Than You Can Lower Them," and "A Crazy and Drunk Life."Warning: This poem is mostly making up and comfort after the wrecktastic events of the previous three, but it does involve discussing the same sticky issues.
"Repair Just About Anything"
[Saturday, October 3, 2015]
It was dark when Warshirt
finally pulled into his driveway.
As long as he was going to
Natural Grocers anyway, he
had taken the opportunity
to stock up on things that
he couldn't always get locally,
like recycled toilet paper and
floor wash with real pine oil.
When he went inside, he saw
Spotted Deer sitting on the steps
leading up to her loft bedroom.
Probably because Warshirt had
promised never to go up there
unless she invited him.
"I'm sorry," he said to her.
"What I did was wrong and
I shouldn't have done it."
Spotted Deer didn't come
any closer, but to his surprise,
she said, "I'm sorry too. Lin
says I should've asked first,
but you shouldn't have
yelled or swung at me."
"Lin is a very wise woman
and we should both listen
to her," Warshirt said.
Spotted Deer glided
down from her place
and came over to him.
"You bought groceries?"
"I brought a concrete apology,"
said Warshirt. "I figured you
wouldn't be impressed by meat."
She stared at him as he unpacked
bags of organic produce, leaving
the regular groceries for later.
Her ears flicked forward and
locked on the rustling bags;
her nosepad twitched too,
scenting the air for clues.
Out came alfalfa sprouts
and red clover sprouts, plus
sunflower sprouts and seeds.
The pea shoots were a bit bigger
with several leaves and spiral tendrils.
The carton of winter mix salad greens
had assorted herbs tossed into it.
There were round pink radishes and
long white ones, red and green cabbages,
and six different kinds of heirloom apples.
Another carton held four little lettuce heads
complete with roots, two red and two green.
There was a square pot of wheatgrass
and a round pot of peppermint.
"Wow," said Spotted Deer.
"You really went all out."
"I really feel sorry for
upsetting you," he said.
"Where did you even find
all this?" said Spotted Deer.
"Stores here don't carry much."
"I uh ... drove to Natural Grocers
over in Kalispell," said Warshirt.
"How far is that?" she asked.
"Lin said you'd be gone a while."
"It's about a three-hour round trip from
here, plus shopping time," said Warshirt,
"and I started out from Rocky Boy's."
"You did all that for me?" she said.
"Yes, I did," said Warshirt.
"You deserve better."
"What else did you get?"
Spotted Deer asked, looking
at the other shopping bags.
"A big bag of oatmeal, which we
both like, plus smaller bags of granola
and dried fruit," Warshirt explained as he
unpacked them. "Recycled paper towels,
toilet paper, and aluminum foil. Floor wash,
laundry detergent, and other cleaners
made from natural ingredients."
It made quite a smorgasbord
spread on the dining room table.
"What are we going to do with
all this?" said Spotted Deer.
"I figured we could have salads
with supper," said Warshirt. "I can
put leftover meat on mine. You
can take it or leave it. I don't
know how much meat you want."
"A little, sometimes," she said.
"I remember it's hard to make
a healthy diet from plants alone,
but I don't remember the details."
"I'll help you look them up later,"
said Warshirt. "For now, I just
bought things that deer love."
Her ears flicked at him. "Is that
why they taste so good?" she said.
"Yeah, probably," said Warshirt
as he started putting things away.
"You're part Two-Legged and
part Four-Legged, so it makes
sense for your tastes to match."
Spotted Deer helped him put
things away, at least the ones
that she knew where they went.
She couldn't resist nibbling on
the wheatgrass and peppermint
before setting them on a windowsill.
Warshirt smiled. If she was eating
his offerings instead of throwing them
at his head, she'd probably forgive him.
After they finished putting away
the groceries, Warshirt went into
the living room and sat down on
the futon. "We need to talk."
"We said we were sorry."
Spotted Deer looked baffled.
"Yeah, but that won't fix what
went wrong," said Warshirt.
He patted the arm of the futon.
"Come on, pick a seat."
Spotted Deer took
the glide rocker
right next to him.
"Thank you for
putting up with me,"
said Warshirt. "There
are some things that
I should've told you
earlier but didn't."
"You told me that you
were kind of messed up,"
said Spotted Deer.
"Yeah, but I didn't say
why or how or what to do
about it," Warshirt explained.
"Why is I'm a veteran and I saw ...
some pretty bad shit over in
Afghanistan. And at home."
"I've seen bad things, too,"
Spotted Deer pointed out.
"Which is probably why
we stepped on each other,"
Warshirt said. "How is that
I don't sleep well, and when
I do sleep, sometimes I have
nightmares. Really bad ones."
"I know," said Spotted Deer.
Had he woken her up screaming
or thumping around at night? Had he
had dreams that bad this month?
Yeah, a couple of times. Shit.
"I'm sorry about that too,"
Warshirt said. "You shouldn't
have to deal with that."
"I didn't know what to do,"
Spotted Deer said, fidgeting.
"Do not come into my room
and try to shake me awake,"
Warshirt warned. "It's not safe."
"Okay," said Spotted Deer.
"But if you're ... upset?
How can I help you?"
"Bang on the door and
call my name," he said.
"I should wake up."
"I will," she promised.
"So that's part of it,"
Warshirt said. "I also
have traumatic stress,
and I deal with that --
badly -- by getting drunk."
"Is that why ... yesterday?"
said Spotted Deer. "You didn't
sleep well the night before."
"Yeah, that started it," he said.
"Then my truck blew a tire,
I had a bad flashback, and
basically lost my shit."
"I'm sorry that you had
such a bad day," she said.
"The hell of it is, I can't even
promise not to do it again, all I
can promise is to make amends
when I do," said Warshirt. "It's
technically a drinking problem,
not alcoholism, because it's
not a physical dependency ...
but I still can't stop doing it."
"Some habits are hard
to break," said Spotted Deer.
"Yeah," said Warshirt. "I go
on benders instead of drinking
every day, but on a bad day,
I usually can't resist temptation.
Then I wind up getting smashed,
and well ... you saw the rest."
"You were really sick when you
got home," said Spotted Deer.
"I was drunk," said Warshirt.
"Let's call a spade a spade."
Spotted Deer shook her head,
ears flapping. "You were sick,"
she insisted. "I could smell it.
Something inside you was wrong."
"You mean you can smell ... what?
Chemical imbalances?" he said.
"One doctor told me that my body
is messed up, the biochemistry
isn't steady like it should be.
Mostly I'm fine, but sometimes
everything seems to go haywire."
"I don't know," Spotted Deer said.
"I haven't had a chance to learn
what any of it means. I just
know you were sick last night."
"Okay, maybe we can figure it out
later," said Warshirt. "You deserve
opportunities to discover what
you can do with your gifts."
"But you didn't like it,"
Spotted Deer whispered.
"I was trying to help, and
it just made you angry."
"You didn't ask first,"
Warshirt said. "That's
what freaked me out.
In the past, people doing
things to me when I'm drunk
has ended badly, and I'm not
dropping my pants to show you."
Spotted Deer giggled. "Tattoo?"
"Yeah, my cousins thought it
was hilarious," said Warshirt.
"Anyhow, Many Tongues told me
to ask why you didn't get consent
before doing ... whatever you did."
"I know how to handle drunks,"
said Spotted Deer. "I learned that
if I make them comfortable, they're
less likely to yell or hit. But it was
safer if they didn't know about it."
And then Warshirt had yelled
and swatted at her anyhow.
That put him in great company.
"Okay, that's a valid reason,"
he said. "I didn't think of that.
Can we figure out a better way
to handle this next time?"
"But you didn't like it,"
Spotted Deer repeated.
"Oh, I liked it, all right,"
said Warshirt. "You got
me to sleep, I didn't have
nightmares, and I wasn't
hungover this morning.
That was amazing."
"I just wanted you to be
okay," said Spotted Deer.
"I'm closer to okay than
I've been in a long time,
maybe ever," said Warshirt.
"After I got out of the army, I
tried a bunch of different things.
Most of the drugs made me feel
worse instead of better, and
the talk therapy was a bust."
"Nothing helped?" she said.
"That sounds really sad."
"It's frustrating," said Warshirt.
"Closest I came was the Red Road,
but I already had close ties with
my culture. Mostly what that one
did was show me that I wasn't
ready to give up getting drunk."
"Because you like the way
it feels?" said Spotted Deer.
"No, well yeah, it's fun too,
but that's not the main reason,"
said Warshirt. "It breaks the loop
in my brain. It turns off flashbacks
and it lets me get some sleep.
Nothing else has done that."
"Except me," said Spotted Deer.
"Exactly," Warshirt said. "Whatever
you did, it worked better than getting
drunk. I felt fine. I just didn't deal
very well with the surprise part."
"But if I asked ...?" she said,
then shook her head. "I don't
know if I can. Asking is hard."
Warshirt brushed a finger over
her hand. "Talking was hard, too,
and you've already gotten better at
that. You hardly ever choke up now."
"You're easier to talk with than
most people," said Spotted Deer.
Warshirt chuckled. "I doubt
many would agree with you."
"Then they don't know you
like I do," said Spotted Deer.
She'd only known him for
about a month, but then again,
they had spent a lot of time
together. He didn't do that
with many people anymore.
"Maybe so," said Warshirt.
"Listen, if you're willing after
my awful behavior, I want
to try again when I'm sober."
"Try what?" Spotted Deer said,
shifting restlessly in place.
"Whatever you did last night,"
said Warshirt. "You put me
to sleep somehow, didn't you?"
"Yes." She gave a wary nod.
"Can you do that, just a little,
now that I can pay attention?"
said Warshirt. "Or is what you
do an all-or-nothing effect?"
"It depends on what I want,
or what the other person
needs," said Spotted Deer.
"I can try if you want to."
"Yes, please," he said.
"What do I need to do?"
Spotted Deer crouched
beside him, reaching
up to stroke his face.
"Just breathe," she said.
The smell was a little different
this time, still warm and grassy, but
with a hint of honey instead of mint.
Warshirt wanted to lick the honey,
but that would be rude, so he just
turned his face into her hand.
Spotted Deer cupped her fingers
over his nose and mouth, making it
easier for him to catch the scent.
It was so good and soothing.
The world blurred and faded.
He felt gentle hands easing him
down onto the futon, then nothing.
Warshirt woke brimming with energy.
He hadn't felt that good in ... he
couldn't remember how long.
He stretched, enjoying how
light and clean his body felt.
He'd always had plenty of strength
and stamina, but he'd gotten so used
to feeling weighed down by baggage
that he'd forgotten what it was like
without dragging that weight.
This was strong medicine.
"How long was I out?"
he asked Spotted Deer.
"About fifteen minutes,"
she replied. "I didn't
push you very hard."
"I'm surprised it wasn't
longer," Warshirt said.
"How are you feeling?"
Spotted Deer asked,
her ears flicking.
"I feel fantastic, like I
got a good night's sleep,"
Warshirt said. "I can't
thank you enough."
"Oh, good," she said.
"I was worried that
you might not like it."
"I love it," said Warshirt.
Then he tilted his head.
"This feels almost familiar.
The day we met, you could
touch me and it didn't make
me twitchy like most people
do. I just felt calm. Were
you doing anything then?"
"Not exactly, I mean, not on
purpose," said Spotted Deer.
"Sometimes my body just
does that when I wish that
I was calm, or others were."
"Well, I'm not complaining,"
Warshirt said. "It helps. I'll be
very grateful if you keep it up."
"You can ask me any time,
if you get drunk ... or you think
about getting drunk and want
to try this instead. Or if you
can't sleep," said Spotted Deer.
"I'll try," said Warshirt. "I'm not
sure how well I'll do, because
drinking is a bad habit, and so
is keeping everything to myself."
Spotted Deer shrugged. "I don't
know if I can remember to ask first."
"We're talking about it now, so I
won't be surprised if you fix me later,"
Warshirt said. "Besides, we're both
trying new things and we know that
we might not get it right at first. It's
okay. We can practice together."
"I'd like that," Spotted Deer said.
"I want to learn what I can do."
"I want that too," said Warshirt.
"I'm so glad that you're still willing
to stick around after what I did."
"You're my friend," she said.
"I'm glad that you aren't still
angry with me for forgetting
to ask. Lin told me that it's
a very bad habit I picked up
from working at Merry Acres."
"Lie down with dogs, get up
with fleas," said Warshirt.
"You'll get past it, I'm sure.
We have both apologized,
so we can move on now."
"An apology is the maxitack of life,"
Spotted Deer said with a smile.
"It can repair just about anything."
"Yes, it can," said Warshirt. He
looked at the dark windows "Shall we
start supper? I've got some big sausages
that we could roast with cabbage and
apples, to go with the salads."
Spotted Deer bounded to her feet.
"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed, and
headed for the kitchen.
Warshirt followed, grateful
for the chance to repair anything.
It wasn't a chance he always got,
and for that alone, he valued her.
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its notes appear elsewhere.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-08 09:58 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2021-05-08 10:08 pm (UTC)Yeah, I really wanted to get it up.<<
>> it's great to see the two of them working through the aftermath of the problem! <<
I think they're doing a great job with the limited skills they have, and they have some ideas for further exploration. They're good for each other, despite the occasional tangles.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-08 11:15 pm (UTC)Warshirt's gonna be like Shiv. Once he gets his head on straight, he can be a leader.
Thoughts
Date: 2021-05-09 01:41 am (UTC)Yay! That's what I was aiming for. I'm glad it worked for you.
>> Consent is negotiated, healing is done, and there is joy on both sides. <<
It's good progress. They still don't know much about consent beyond "ask first," but they have people who can help them figure it out.
>> I remember a quote from an otherwise not-as-good-as-it-could-be movie... "Those two.. make good medicine together." <<
:D Well said. This is true.
>> Warshirt's gonna be like Shiv. Once he gets his head on straight, he can be a leader. <<
Oh, Warshirt has been a leader. He's actually quite good at handling wild young things. The problem is that some of what he's been leading is some pretty dumbass shit. >_< He's been one of the loudest voices about traditional values over modern methods, which leads to picking on the few people like Blazing Grass who have managed to blend cultures fluently. You can see an example in "All These Things Woven into Something."
Meeting Spotted Deer changed things for Warshirt, because he might be stubborn but he's not stupid. He can figure out that if the spirits have blessed someone with totem powers strong enough to show on the physical plane, they must not care that she started out white. This may make things awkward for him, but he'll manage, and he's quite serious about taking care of the girls from Merry Acres. They haven't even found them all yet, but I've got character sheets worked up for some of the others that Spotted Deer has mentioned.
Feel free to ask for more during any relevant prompt call. This month's Creative Jam is on "Heroism - Real and Perceived" and the June fishbowl is a bullseye with "I never thought I'd have to say that."
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2021-05-09 01:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-09 02:22 am (UTC)