Poem: "However You Think You Should Be"
Mar. 23rd, 2021 04:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem is spillover from the February 2, 2021 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from fuzzyred and readera. It also fills the "Once a Thief" square in my 2-1-21 "Romance Book Titles" card for the Valentines Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by a pool with ng_moonmoth, fuzzyred, and zianuray. It belongs to the Shiv thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.
"However You Think You Should Be"
[Friday, May 20, 2016]
For whatever reason --
and Shiv couldn't think for
the life of him what it might
be -- Rob Ross liked him.
Since they had met at
Tolli and Simon's place,
they had exchanged email,
several phone calls, and
more recently video calls.
Sometimes they talked about
what Shiv was painting, and Rob
was on a "paint the soups" streak
again so he liked to ask what
Shiv thought about that.
Other times they just talked
about whatever came to mind,
and that was equally awesome.
Shiv couldn't help picking at it
a bit, though, he was just like that.
"I'm still surprised that you ain't
bit my head off yet," he said,
watching the computer screen
where Rob was setting up
spring flowers for a still life.
"I don't do that anymore,"
Rob said, quietly but firmly.
"Yeah, but the stuff I draw
or paint upsets people,
always has," Shiv said.
"That's their problem,"
Rob said. "Art is what
it needs to be, or rather,
what you need it to be."
"Even if it means I'm
painting sharp things in
your pictures?" Shiv said.
"If you're painting them,
then they're not my pictures,
they're yours," Rob said.
"Yeah, I guess," said Shiv.
"I'm trying to make the wet oils
look like yours, though. Except
for the sharp things. I like ...
the world inside your head is
a happier place than mine,
and I wish I could have that."
"You can have it," Rob said.
"Isn’t it fantastic that you can
change your mind and create
all these happy things?"
A shy smile tugged at
Shiv's lips. "Yeah, it's nice.
Doesn't always work, but I
keep trying. I dunno how you
make everything so happy."
"Years of practice," Rob said.
"I used to deal with sad and
angry things all the time, which
made me sad and angry, so
back then I used to scare people."
"It's hard to imagine," Shiv said.
"You're all soft and fuzzy now."
"I don’t intimidate anyone
anymore," Rob said. "That
used to be part of my job,
but I hated it, so I quit.
I feel much better now."
"I'm glad," Shiv said.
"I like the way you are."
Rob gave him a keen look.
"Do you like the way you are?"
"You know what they say,"
Shiv replied with shrug.
"Once a thief, always a thief."
"They also say that you can
take a man out of the Air Force,
but you can't take the Air Force out
of a man," Rob said. "Would you
have known I was a veteran
if nobody had told you?"
Shiv had to stop and think
about that. "... no," he decided.
"You don't act like any other
veteran I've ever met."
"That's because I chose
to change," Rob said. "I
realized that I didn't like
what the military was doing
to me, who I was becoming.
So I left, and I decided to make
some pretty major changes."
"Like what?" Shiv wondered.
"You may have heard me mention
that I never raise my voice," Rob said.
"That's a conscious choice. It has
made a huge improvement for me."
"Was it hard?" Shiv said. "I don't
think I could give up yelling."
"Not as hard as I thought
it would be," Rob said. "It was
time for a change, so I changed."
Shiv sighed. "I'm not ready yet,"
he admitted. "I've changed some,
in the last couple years, but I don't
want to quit my job and take up
art or blacksmithing full time."
"Then don't," Rob said easily.
"The world needs all kinds."
"Yeah, Rosie and I talked
about that," Shiv said. "He
thinks the world needs
supervillains as much as
it needs superheroes, that
we can do things they can't."
"That's an interesting idea,"
Rob said. "Do you agree?"
"Yeah, I think so," Shiv said.
"Nice people can't always
handle the messy work."
"That is very true," Rob said.
"Soldiers keep people safe, but
that doesn't mean everyone
wants to deal with veterans."
Shiv thought about some of
the bitching he'd heard, and
grimaced. "Yeah, that sucks."
"Don't let other people push
you around," Rob said. "You
are not their business."
"I try not to, but they
always have," Shiv said.
"That's how I ended up
a gangster in the first place,
and later on, a supervillain.
It's like ... they didn't leave
room for me to be anything else."
Rob poked a sprig of flowerheads
into his vase, only to have one
break off and fall on the table.
"Oh, that's perfect," he said.
"But it's broken," Shiv said.
"So?" Rob said. "Broken things
are beautiful too. That's where
it wants to be, and so that is
just where it should be."
"You're so mellow about
everything," Shiv said. "Me,
I get all bent out of shape
when things don't go my way."
"You're young, you'll get
more flexible with time,"
Rob assured him.
"Yeah, but it's like ...
the last painting I did,
I messed it up," Shiv said.
"I went out to Woolgather Hill
fuzzyred and readera. It also fills the "Once a Thief" square in my 2-1-21 "Romance Book Titles" card for the Valentines Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by a pool with ng_moonmoth, fuzzyred, and zianuray. It belongs to the Shiv thread of the Polychrome Heroics series."However You Think You Should Be"
[Friday, May 20, 2016]
For whatever reason --
and Shiv couldn't think for
the life of him what it might
be -- Rob Ross liked him.
Since they had met at
Tolli and Simon's place,
they had exchanged email,
several phone calls, and
more recently video calls.
Sometimes they talked about
what Shiv was painting, and Rob
was on a "paint the soups" streak
again so he liked to ask what
Shiv thought about that.
Other times they just talked
about whatever came to mind,
and that was equally awesome.
Shiv couldn't help picking at it
a bit, though, he was just like that.
"I'm still surprised that you ain't
bit my head off yet," he said,
watching the computer screen
where Rob was setting up
spring flowers for a still life.
"I don't do that anymore,"
Rob said, quietly but firmly.
"Yeah, but the stuff I draw
or paint upsets people,
always has," Shiv said.
"That's their problem,"
Rob said. "Art is what
it needs to be, or rather,
what you need it to be."
"Even if it means I'm
painting sharp things in
your pictures?" Shiv said.
"If you're painting them,
then they're not my pictures,
they're yours," Rob said.
"Yeah, I guess," said Shiv.
"I'm trying to make the wet oils
look like yours, though. Except
for the sharp things. I like ...
the world inside your head is
a happier place than mine,
and I wish I could have that."
"You can have it," Rob said.
"Isn’t it fantastic that you can
change your mind and create
all these happy things?"
A shy smile tugged at
Shiv's lips. "Yeah, it's nice.
Doesn't always work, but I
keep trying. I dunno how you
make everything so happy."
"Years of practice," Rob said.
"I used to deal with sad and
angry things all the time, which
made me sad and angry, so
back then I used to scare people."
"It's hard to imagine," Shiv said.
"You're all soft and fuzzy now."
"I don’t intimidate anyone
anymore," Rob said. "That
used to be part of my job,
but I hated it, so I quit.
I feel much better now."
"I'm glad," Shiv said.
"I like the way you are."
Rob gave him a keen look.
"Do you like the way you are?"
"You know what they say,"
Shiv replied with shrug.
"Once a thief, always a thief."
"They also say that you can
take a man out of the Air Force,
but you can't take the Air Force out
of a man," Rob said. "Would you
have known I was a veteran
if nobody had told you?"
Shiv had to stop and think
about that. "... no," he decided.
"You don't act like any other
veteran I've ever met."
"That's because I chose
to change," Rob said. "I
realized that I didn't like
what the military was doing
to me, who I was becoming.
So I left, and I decided to make
some pretty major changes."
"Like what?" Shiv wondered.
"You may have heard me mention
that I never raise my voice," Rob said.
"That's a conscious choice. It has
made a huge improvement for me."
"Was it hard?" Shiv said. "I don't
think I could give up yelling."
"Not as hard as I thought
it would be," Rob said. "It was
time for a change, so I changed."
Shiv sighed. "I'm not ready yet,"
he admitted. "I've changed some,
in the last couple years, but I don't
want to quit my job and take up
art or blacksmithing full time."
"Then don't," Rob said easily.
"The world needs all kinds."
"Yeah, Rosie and I talked
about that," Shiv said. "He
thinks the world needs
supervillains as much as
it needs superheroes, that
we can do things they can't."
"That's an interesting idea,"
Rob said. "Do you agree?"
"Yeah, I think so," Shiv said.
"Nice people can't always
handle the messy work."
"That is very true," Rob said.
"Soldiers keep people safe, but
that doesn't mean everyone
wants to deal with veterans."
Shiv thought about some of
the bitching he'd heard, and
grimaced. "Yeah, that sucks."
"Don't let other people push
you around," Rob said. "You
are not their business."
"I try not to, but they
always have," Shiv said.
"That's how I ended up
a gangster in the first place,
and later on, a supervillain.
It's like ... they didn't leave
room for me to be anything else."
Rob poked a sprig of flowerheads
into his vase, only to have one
break off and fall on the table.
"Oh, that's perfect," he said.
"But it's broken," Shiv said.
"So?" Rob said. "Broken things
are beautiful too. That's where
it wants to be, and so that is
just where it should be."
"You're so mellow about
everything," Shiv said. "Me,
I get all bent out of shape
when things don't go my way."
"You're young, you'll get
more flexible with time,"
Rob assured him.
"Yeah, but it's like ...
the last painting I did,
I messed it up," Shiv said.
"I went out to Woolgather Hill
for some plein air work, and the light changed on me."
Rob chuckled. "Happens
to me all the time," he said.
"Light's a rascal that way,
it won't stand still for you.
So what were you painting?"
"I found this old fence in a field,
with grass and flowers all around,
and some trees in the background,"
Shiv said. "When I started painting,
it was sunny, but then it clouded up.
So the middle is all bright and happy,
but the foreground and background
are dark. It makes me feel edgy."
"Sometimes paintings do that,"
Rob said. "It sounds pretty, though.
I would sure love to see that one."
Shiv hesitated, rocking back and forth
on his stool. Sharing his art with others
still made him nervous, because he'd
gotten ragged so much growing up.
But if there was one person on Earth
who'd never do that, it was Rob Ross.
Shiv turned the screen around to show
the canvas still drying on the easel.
The background was shadowy
with blue-gray clouds, evergreens
framing the central meadow with
its dazzle of spring-green grass
and mostly white wildflowers.
Weathered posts stuck up,
making a line with a gap, and
a few glints of leftover wire
and nails stuck in the wood.
The foreground was darker,
though, and Shiv hadn't even
noticed, just painting along with
the shifting light, until he finished
and realized what happened.
Rob just grinned and said,
"You didn't look up."
"What?" Shiv said,
completely baffled.
Rob pointed upward.
"When the grass looks
that way, like there's
a big yellow spotlight
on it, that's 'cause it is.
The sun breaks through
the clouds and does that."
"Huh," Shiv said. "Okay,
now that you mention it,
I have seen it do that."
"See, you painted yourself
a bright spot and didn't even
know it," Rob said. "Happy clouds
letting out happy little sunbeams!"
"I like that idea," Shiv said. "I
don't think I could be nothing
but sunny, it's not me. But I
don't want to be all clouds
anymore, because that sucks."
"If you don't like it, change it,"
Rob said. "You have that power."
"I don't know," Shiv said. "Life
isn't as easy as painting is, and
everyone else has ideas about me."
"However you think you should be,
that’s exactly how you should be,"
Rob said. "Don't let anyone else
tell you how to be. It's not their life.
It's yours, so be whatever you want to be."
The words shivered their way down
Shiv's spine, a cool hint of power, of
potential. He didn't know what to do
with them, but he liked the possibilities.
"Tempting, but people don't like when
I do what I want," Shiv said glumly.
"Even the people you know now?"
Rob said. "That doesn't sound
like the Tolli and Simon I know."
"Nah, the Finns are different,
and so's my gang," Shiv said.
"Just people in general, they
look at me funny -- always have."
"That's their problem," Rob said.
"You just be yourself, Shiv. People
might look at you a bit funny,
but that’s okay. Artists are
allowed to be a bit different."
"Tolli says that about my clothes,"
Shiv admitted. "He says that I
need more artist clothes, stuff that
expresses my personality and creativity."
"What do you think about that?" Rob said.
"I'm on the fence about it," said Shiv.
"I already like colors, a lot brighter stuff
than most men, but if I'm picking clothes
I tend to go for colors that blend in."
"Nothing wrong with that," Rob said.
"I wear jeans and a button-up in
the studio because it's timeless,
cheap, and doesn't distract from
whatever I'm trying to paint."
"I like purple," Shiv said. "Blue's
a favorite, some bright shades,
but mostly soft ones like denim."
"I love the way denim ages,"
Rob said, smiling. "It comes out
of the store dark as a winter night
and then ages to a summer day."
"Wow," Shiv said softly. He
had never thought of it like that,
tending to buy light-wash denim,
but he'd seen the fading effect.
Rob had a way with words,
just as well as with paints.
"It's all up to you," Rob said.
"How you dress, what you
paint, how you make a living."
"Yeah, but I'm not all by myself
anymore," Shiv said. "Now I got
other people to think about, too."
"You can have anything you
want in the world -- once you
help everyone around you get
what they want," Rob said.
Shiv thought about that.
It reminded him of boss work,
which was mainly about putting
pieces together so they fit right.
He'd seen Boss White do it
all over Omaha, helping folks
find the turf where they could
put their skills to best use.
Now he was watching
Boss Finn straighten out
Mercedes, which sure as hell
needed a firm hand on the reins.
To be honest, Shiv was scared
of boss work, scared of moving up
and having more people looking
to him for some kind of guidance.
Most of all, he was scared of
Boss White retiring, but Shiv
had seen how tired he looked,
and that wasn't a good thing --
that was downright worrisome.
The idea of putting things
together, though, that wasn't
so bad, like the light and
shadow in a painting, or
Boss Finn setting up.
Rob was that way too,
Shiv realized, a blend
of bright and dark that
most people never noticed,
so perhaps that was why Rob
understood Shiv so well.
After all, it was the people
around Shiv now who were
making him different from how
he had been a few years back.
The more of them he met,
the more interesting his life got.
Maybe, if he wanted a head
full of happy little clouds and
friendly trees, he just needed
to share them with other people.
"Yeah, okay," Shiv said,
"maybe I'll give that a try."
* * *
Notes:
"Isn’t it fantastic that you can change your mind and create all these happy things?"
-- Bob Ross
Change comes in stages. Each stage has its own characteristic thoughts and behaviors. This affects how people are perceived at each stage. However, change must be voluntary. Forcing people to change tends to backfire for many reasons and nagging them to do so can be harmful. There are ways to encourage change without forcing it. People will change when they're ready, and not before. Helpful worksheets include identifying the stage of change, ambivalence analysis, a readiness ruler, a change plan, 5 Steps to Making Peace with Change, Prioritize Personal Values, Priorities Worksheet, Project Prioritization Worksheet, and Project Task List.
Change begins with choice -- deciding that you don't like how things are and want to make them different. You can change yourself and your life by making different choices. Here are some signs that a change is needed.
"I don’t intimidate anyone."
-- Bob Ross
Veterans often struggle to return to civilian life, facing discrimination and preconceptions from other people.
"However you think it should be, that’s exactly how it should be."
-- Bob Ross
Wabi-sabi is the appreciation of imperfection. This is a vital skill for still life art, because it is the imperfections in objects that create interest in a finished picture.
"People might look at you a bit funny, but it’s okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different."
-- Bob Ross
Artists have their own fashion sense. There are various ways to dress like an artist. These form a spectrum from the minimalist (like wearing black) to the sensationalist (like bohemian wear). Explore guidelines about creative menswear for artists.
"You can have anything you want in the world -- once you help everyone around you get what they want."
-- Bob Ross
Shiv's painting shows spring grass and wildflowers.
Rob chuckled. "Happens
to me all the time," he said.
"Light's a rascal that way,
it won't stand still for you.
So what were you painting?"
"I found this old fence in a field,
with grass and flowers all around,
and some trees in the background,"
Shiv said. "When I started painting,
it was sunny, but then it clouded up.
So the middle is all bright and happy,
but the foreground and background
are dark. It makes me feel edgy."
"Sometimes paintings do that,"
Rob said. "It sounds pretty, though.
I would sure love to see that one."
Shiv hesitated, rocking back and forth
on his stool. Sharing his art with others
still made him nervous, because he'd
gotten ragged so much growing up.
But if there was one person on Earth
who'd never do that, it was Rob Ross.
Shiv turned the screen around to show
the canvas still drying on the easel.
The background was shadowy
with blue-gray clouds, evergreens
framing the central meadow with
its dazzle of spring-green grass
and mostly white wildflowers.
Weathered posts stuck up,
making a line with a gap, and
a few glints of leftover wire
and nails stuck in the wood.
The foreground was darker,
though, and Shiv hadn't even
noticed, just painting along with
the shifting light, until he finished
and realized what happened.
Rob just grinned and said,
"You didn't look up."
"What?" Shiv said,
completely baffled.
Rob pointed upward.
"When the grass looks
that way, like there's
a big yellow spotlight
on it, that's 'cause it is.
The sun breaks through
the clouds and does that."
"Huh," Shiv said. "Okay,
now that you mention it,
I have seen it do that."
"See, you painted yourself
a bright spot and didn't even
know it," Rob said. "Happy clouds
letting out happy little sunbeams!"
"I like that idea," Shiv said. "I
don't think I could be nothing
but sunny, it's not me. But I
don't want to be all clouds
anymore, because that sucks."
"If you don't like it, change it,"
Rob said. "You have that power."
"I don't know," Shiv said. "Life
isn't as easy as painting is, and
everyone else has ideas about me."
"However you think you should be,
that’s exactly how you should be,"
Rob said. "Don't let anyone else
tell you how to be. It's not their life.
It's yours, so be whatever you want to be."
The words shivered their way down
Shiv's spine, a cool hint of power, of
potential. He didn't know what to do
with them, but he liked the possibilities.
"Tempting, but people don't like when
I do what I want," Shiv said glumly.
"Even the people you know now?"
Rob said. "That doesn't sound
like the Tolli and Simon I know."
"Nah, the Finns are different,
and so's my gang," Shiv said.
"Just people in general, they
look at me funny -- always have."
"That's their problem," Rob said.
"You just be yourself, Shiv. People
might look at you a bit funny,
but that’s okay. Artists are
allowed to be a bit different."
"Tolli says that about my clothes,"
Shiv admitted. "He says that I
need more artist clothes, stuff that
expresses my personality and creativity."
"What do you think about that?" Rob said.
"I'm on the fence about it," said Shiv.
"I already like colors, a lot brighter stuff
than most men, but if I'm picking clothes
I tend to go for colors that blend in."
"Nothing wrong with that," Rob said.
"I wear jeans and a button-up in
the studio because it's timeless,
cheap, and doesn't distract from
whatever I'm trying to paint."
"I like purple," Shiv said. "Blue's
a favorite, some bright shades,
but mostly soft ones like denim."
"I love the way denim ages,"
Rob said, smiling. "It comes out
of the store dark as a winter night
and then ages to a summer day."
"Wow," Shiv said softly. He
had never thought of it like that,
tending to buy light-wash denim,
but he'd seen the fading effect.
Rob had a way with words,
just as well as with paints.
"It's all up to you," Rob said.
"How you dress, what you
paint, how you make a living."
"Yeah, but I'm not all by myself
anymore," Shiv said. "Now I got
other people to think about, too."
"You can have anything you
want in the world -- once you
help everyone around you get
what they want," Rob said.
Shiv thought about that.
It reminded him of boss work,
which was mainly about putting
pieces together so they fit right.
He'd seen Boss White do it
all over Omaha, helping folks
find the turf where they could
put their skills to best use.
Now he was watching
Boss Finn straighten out
Mercedes, which sure as hell
needed a firm hand on the reins.
To be honest, Shiv was scared
of boss work, scared of moving up
and having more people looking
to him for some kind of guidance.
Most of all, he was scared of
Boss White retiring, but Shiv
had seen how tired he looked,
and that wasn't a good thing --
that was downright worrisome.
The idea of putting things
together, though, that wasn't
so bad, like the light and
shadow in a painting, or
Boss Finn setting up.
Rob was that way too,
Shiv realized, a blend
of bright and dark that
most people never noticed,
so perhaps that was why Rob
understood Shiv so well.
After all, it was the people
around Shiv now who were
making him different from how
he had been a few years back.
The more of them he met,
the more interesting his life got.
Maybe, if he wanted a head
full of happy little clouds and
friendly trees, he just needed
to share them with other people.
"Yeah, okay," Shiv said,
"maybe I'll give that a try."
* * *
Notes:
"Isn’t it fantastic that you can change your mind and create all these happy things?"
-- Bob Ross
Change comes in stages. Each stage has its own characteristic thoughts and behaviors. This affects how people are perceived at each stage. However, change must be voluntary. Forcing people to change tends to backfire for many reasons and nagging them to do so can be harmful. There are ways to encourage change without forcing it. People will change when they're ready, and not before. Helpful worksheets include identifying the stage of change, ambivalence analysis, a readiness ruler, a change plan, 5 Steps to Making Peace with Change, Prioritize Personal Values, Priorities Worksheet, Project Prioritization Worksheet, and Project Task List.
Change begins with choice -- deciding that you don't like how things are and want to make them different. You can change yourself and your life by making different choices. Here are some signs that a change is needed.
"I don’t intimidate anyone."
-- Bob Ross
Veterans often struggle to return to civilian life, facing discrimination and preconceptions from other people.
"However you think it should be, that’s exactly how it should be."
-- Bob Ross
Wabi-sabi is the appreciation of imperfection. This is a vital skill for still life art, because it is the imperfections in objects that create interest in a finished picture.
"People might look at you a bit funny, but it’s okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different."
-- Bob Ross
Artists have their own fashion sense. There are various ways to dress like an artist. These form a spectrum from the minimalist (like wearing black) to the sensationalist (like bohemian wear). Explore guidelines about creative menswear for artists.
"You can have anything you want in the world -- once you help everyone around you get what they want."
-- Bob Ross
Shiv's painting shows spring grass and wildflowers.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-23 11:01 pm (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2021-03-24 12:38 am (UTC)I'm glad you found it so meaningful.
>> This helps English some of the things I'm trying to figure out... <<
*bow, flourish* Happy to be of service. You might check out the Bob Ross life lessons link, that had some good stuff.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-23 11:51 pm (UTC)The cut tag glitched, right at; andthe light changed on me."
Shiv has really changed, and sounds like he might be changing more... and who better to set that change off than Rob Ross.
Thoughts
Date: 2021-03-24 12:36 am (UTC)Fixed, thanks.
>>Shiv has really changed, <<
He's changed a lot in the past two years.
>> and sounds like he might be changing more...<<
Also true. He's trying new and different things, so that helps.
>> and who better to set that change off than Rob Ross.<<
:D Well, it's hard to go wrong by following Rob Ross. I think he helps Shiv think about what Shiv wants from his own headspace. And I find it very interesting that Shiv likes to paint peaceful nature scenes with one or two sharp things, rather than a whole bunch of sharp things with a bit of nature added. Most of a cat is soft and fuzzy, after all, you just have to watch out for the sharp parts.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2021-03-24 12:56 am (UTC)Thing about cats, all five ends are full of sharp pointy bits, all of which are hidden most of the time. But if they trust you, they roll over and allow you to rub the soft fuzzy belly... which also puts you closer to all of the sharp bits too. Pretty sure you could see that as a metaphor.
Shiv's art doesn't sound like it's exactly how he is, but how he's beginning to realise how he wants to be..
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2021-03-24 01:02 am (UTC)Very true.
>> But if they trust you, they roll over and allow you to rub the soft fuzzy belly... which also puts you closer to all of the sharp bits too. Pretty sure you could see that as a metaphor. <<
More often than not, it's a trap.
>> Shiv's art doesn't sound like it's exactly how he is, but how he's beginning to realise how he wants to be.<<
Well reasoned.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2021-03-25 02:27 pm (UTC)Ohhhh yeah!
My boss Ista loves it when I knuckle her head. I make a fist, touch my knuckles to her scalp, cheek, or chin, and rapidly twist my wrist back and forth. She half-closes her eyes and moves her head around a bit to get the feeling all over the area, and after a little while tilts her head to get the effect on another part. And I call her "my little knucklehead".
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-24 01:53 am (UTC)and Shiv couldn't think for
the life of him what it might be -- Rob Ross liked him.<<
Gee, I feel like this a lot. (I've never met Bob Ross, though.)
Also, for the 'changing people causes harm's link, in my brain it cross-pollination with the Emotional Labor Metafilter thread, so I'm wondering if a correlation to communication or relationship quality might fit in there. (Essentially,
if women are the designated keepers of the hearth/health, then it seems to be a dammed if you fuss about drs appointments, dammed if you don't scenario. At least in some cases.)
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-24 03:12 am (UTC)Sounds like Shiv's going to be an awesome boss in a few years.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-30 10:14 pm (UTC)