Today's Smoothie
Apr. 26th, 2020 09:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithToday we made a smoothie with:
1 cup mango nectar
1 cup Dannon vanilla yogurt
1 banana
1/2 cup Season's Choice tropical blend frozen fruit (pineapple, mango, papaya, strawberry)
1/2 cup ice
This one is quite good. The color is light yellow-orange, the texture rich and creamy, with a mellow tropical flavor very nicely balanced between sweet and tart. :D
1 cup mango nectar
1 cup Dannon vanilla yogurt
1 banana
1/2 cup Season's Choice tropical blend frozen fruit (pineapple, mango, papaya, strawberry)
1/2 cup ice
This one is quite good. The color is light yellow-orange, the texture rich and creamy, with a mellow tropical flavor very nicely balanced between sweet and tart. :D
(no subject)
Date: 2020-04-27 04:18 pm (UTC)Well ...
Date: 2020-04-27 10:03 pm (UTC)I'm open to the possibility. It would depend on the topic. If it's something I'm familiar with, I probably have references already. If it's new, that's less likely. However, I've built archives of references from scratch before, and my audience is a viable source of input.
It also depends on time availability.
Re: Well ...
Date: 2020-04-28 12:31 am (UTC)Here goes:
I do volunteer work with immigrants/refugees. (Burma, various Middle Eastern countries, Haiti, Africa, South America, Ukraine...) Some peole have been here for years and have a very good grasp of the local culture/language. We have some people who had only been here about a month before the current situation devolved.
I know that racism and sexism and expected behavior vary widely across cultures. I know America doesn't have great track records with prejudice in our own culture. I know that culture clashes and laguage glitches can be maddening at the best of times when you have an ongoing relationship and know the person is nice / would never say that / whatever.
I know what happened to the Jews in Europe after about 1349 and what happened to the gay community in America in the 1980's.
I (and the few other people in the group I've talked to) seemed to be uncertain about if we should talk to people about this, or what we should say. (The volunteers are mostly a different racial/socioeconomic group. We have a few staff members who are immigrants from some of the same geographical areas. For what it's worth, I'm female, white, American-born and English is my first language.).
Should we talk to people one-on-one, or put out some sort of annoincement, or do nothing or what? Has someone (ACLU, NAACP, a human rights oraganization, someone whose actually lived this and knows what works) made a safety list? (I'm pretty sure Ive seen 'how to discourage rapists' lists books, articles, etc - is there something similar for discouraging ethnic/racial violence?)
I've heard of a few tricks (keep toys in your car, turn the car light on if cops stop you at night, wear obviously medical masks instead of bandannas, dress /nice/, go to a store where they know you) and might be able to generalize to 'look repsectable, harmless and nonthreatening,' but I don't want to gamble with giving someone bad advice. (I know "Dress respectably and don't make him angry," often doesn't really work to prevent sexual violence.)
I'm also not sure I'm the best person to be doing this, as its not my lived experience and I've had the experience of guys trying to help me with sexism sometimes coming across as annoyingly preachy.
And the fact that people are staying home, the economy is wobbling, etc make it more complicated to do some things (like accompanying people to the store).
Re: Well ...
Date: 2020-04-28 02:21 am (UTC)Thank you.
>> And your conclusions (even the occasional ones I do not agree with) make good well supported points and have practical advice or solutions.<<
No one is going to agree with everything, and that's okay. In fact it's vital in this situation. You will need to collect a variety of resources to offer, because some will work for one person but different things will work for another. Warn folks that no one solution will work for everyone, and that's okay. They should try to minimize arguing over other people's choices that differ from their own, and focus on common ground.
Gather what you can based on what you currently believe is needed. Offer those to your clients. Then ask for feedback. Which of these things are most useful? What would you like more of? What is less useful? (Anything that is widely unpopular can be dropped to save you effort.) Is anything missing that you would like to have covered in future batches? Most people can tell you what they want or need. That will help you figure out how to help the ones who can't articulate theirs.
>> I suspect you will have at least some information, or a suggestion of where to find it (if you are willing to be consulted.) <<
I'm happy to help. While I don't have everything you'll need, I know a lot of it, and I can tell you how to find or make most of the rest of it.
>> I do volunteer work with immigrants/refugees. (Burma, various Middle Eastern countries, Haiti, Africa, South America, Ukraine...) <<
As much as possible, try to find matching resources or support people across the cultures. People from Burma may relate to Japanese or Chinese sources if they are Buddhist, but Middle Eastern sources if they are Muslim. Haiti, Africa, and South America all have lots of people here from long since. Ukraine, use resources from other European immigrants, but especially check historic waves of immigration because several of those included central European folks so that may be very helpful.
>>Some peole have been here for years and have a very good grasp of the local culture/language. We have some people who had only been here about a month before the current situation devolved. <<
The newer they are, the more help they'll need.
Also, be aware that constantly changing rules can be extremely traumatic for refugees. Most will have traveled through multiple countries and agencies, with often hostile strangers in control of them. All refugees need safety and stability, but some will be more sensitive than others.
It often splits the same as with sexual assault: some people become hyperprotective of their boundaries, others just stop acting like boundaries even exist because nobody respects theirs. The latter will likely fare much better with the current insanity than the former. If you can't protect everyone, let the less-bothered ones do the going out; it will probably do less extra damage.
>> I know that racism and sexism and expected behavior vary widely across cultures. I know America doesn't have great track records with prejudice in our own culture.<<
These things are all true, but they can be studied and learned. When you know many examples of how humans behave, you are better equipped to make choices about your own life. In this regard, anything you can get on multicultural resources will help. People can then choose which to explore on their own.
http://www.nea.org/tools/resources-addressing-multicultural-diversity-issues-in-your-classroom.htm
http://www.ascd.org/research-a-topic/multicultural-education-resources.aspx
https://mep.berkeley.edu/tools-education/classroom-tools
https://www.accreditedschoolsonline.org/education-teaching-degree/multicultural-students/
https://www.tolerance.org/about
https://www.multiculturalfamilies.org/resources/
https://mfrsedmonton.org/
https://www.csun.edu/~vcpsy00h/parenthood/culture.htm
>> I know that culture clashes and laguage glitches can be maddening at the best of times when you have an ongoing relationship and know the person is nice / would never say that / whatever.<<
Yes. The most you can do about this is encourage people to learn and practice so it happens less often, and make sure they have coping skills to handle the problems in the meantime. Almost all refugees would benefit from more coping skills -- only the luckiest will have a complete enough set already.
It is important to test the skills and see what works for you, because people can have very different responses to the same thing. Unfortunately a lot of counselors just hand clients a list and say "do the things" whether it works or not. Encourage people to use the categories as a goal. Do you have coping skills for distraction, problem-solving, relaxation, and so on? If not, focus first on filling the blanks.
https://www.verywellmind.com/forty-healthy-coping-skills-4586742
https://www.thepathway2success.com/100-coping-strategies-for-anger-anxiety-and-more/
https://www.know-stress-zone.com/images/5-senses-relaxation.png
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/40/9d/d1/409dd1525eb82d5b385ee5b0abe51aef.png
https://maritalintimacyinst.com/wp-content/uploads/Coping-skills-flyer.jpg
https://care.uci.edu/services/Coping%20Skills%20Worksheet.pdf
https://positivepsychology.com/coping-skills-worksheets/
http://www.indigodaya.com/resources/
>> I know what happened to the Jews in Europe after about 1349 and what happened to the gay community in America in the 1980's. <<
And don't forget the ongoing genocide against Native Americans, and frankly, the current surge of cops murdering black people counts too.
Do reach out to the Jews, though; they seem inclined to help refugees now more than most other groups, because they remember their own past. They have various charities for this purpose.
Do you have any QUILTBAG refugees who are out about it? If so, tip them to local queer resources because many countries have little or nothing in that regard. Queerfolk may be supportive of queer refugees even if they are indifferent to straight refugees.
>> I (and the few other people in the group I've talked to) seemed to be uncertain about if we should talk to people about this, or what we should say.<<
Always give people an opportunity to talk, never force them. Understand that all countries have some awful history; that's just human nature. It is up to us to examine the mistakes of the past, recognize how they shape the present, and do our best to avoid repeating them.
Don't forget the kids. They may need to talk too. Art is another excellent option for kids and other people who can't articulate things well. Very little has been written specifically for this context as yet. (Do you have any writers or artists among your clients? If so, encourage them to tell their own stories. It will help their fellow refugees.) However, quite a lot has been written about ugly history of similar types, for all age levels. Books for children may be easier on English learners. Sometimes it is easier to talk about other people's problems than your own, but the parallels will still be helpful. Call your local library, describe your situation, and ask what books they would recommend. (Introduce these after you cover coping skills.)
https://www.ushmm.org/collections/bibliography/childrens-books
https://imaginationsoup.net/childrens-books-holocaust-wwii/
https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=10365
https://socialjusticebooks.org/booklists/slavery/
https://socialjusticebooks.org/booklists/
Re: Well ...
Date: 2020-04-28 02:22 am (UTC)Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. Expanding will let you do more, but you can do much already.
Who are your staff members of immigrant background? Do they know other people in their family or circle of friends who might also be willing to help? Not even just volunteers -- make a list of stores that stock ethnic foods, hairdresses who speak an immigrant language, etc.
Check your clients! Nothing makes people feel shitty like having to take charity because they aren't allowed to do for themselves or others. Who is more functional, and who is wrecked for now? Look for opportunities so the functional ones can help. Ask people about their professions, education, hobbies, etc. Almost every group will have people who did teaching, childcare, elder care, cleaning, manual labor like gardening or yard work, etc. But usually there is also a scattering of experts -- doctors, nurses, professors, lawyers, and such. Those skills are just as useful here. They don't need local credentials to help each other out, they will just need to get that if they want to re-enter the same profession. If you're really lucky, you'll find someone who used to be a school counselor or other therapist and they can do peer support here (which requires no credentials) if they wish. Lacking that, just ask if anyone wants to learn peer counseling; you can always start from scratch.
https://www.hca.wa.gov/assets/billers-and-providers/certified-peer-counselor-training-manual.pdf
https://www.dshs.wa.gov/sites/default/files/BHSIA/dbh/documents/WACertifiedPeerCounselorManualApr2012FINAL.pdf
https://www.peer-counseling.org/index.php/independent-living-resource-center-san-francisco-peer-counseling-training-manual
https://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/SupportOrganizations/peercounseling.html
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/234566298_Theory_and_Practice_of_Peer_Counselling
http://ghdc.generationsofhope.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Intentional-Neighboring.pdf
>> Should we talk to people one-on-one, or put out some sort of annoincement, or do nothing or what? <<
You can start talking to people one-on-one at any time, because that way is easiest to customize. Pick a topic and ask if they've had any concerns that you might be able to help with. Has anyone harassed them? Have they felt lonely? Is their past bothering them? And so on. Sometimes just talking is a relief, and even the most basic counseling skills can help.
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-active-listening-3024343
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pieces-mind/201204/understanding-validation-way-communicate-acceptance
http://changingminds.org/techniques/assertiveness/three-part_message.htm
http://changingminds.org/techniques/techniques.htm
When you have enough resources, you can make an announcement. For example, a list of books or websites can be printed in a batch for people to take one if they wish, or posted on your website if you have one.
>> Has someone (ACLU, NAACP, a human rights oraganization, someone whose actually lived this and knows what works) made a safety list? <<
https://www.aclu.org/other/fighting-police-abuse-community-action-manual
https://www.naacp.org/criminal-justice-resources/
>> (I'm pretty sure Ive seen 'how to discourage rapists' lists books, articles, etc - is there something similar for discouraging ethnic/racial violence?) <<
There are some resources. However, situations change. Your best bet is to talk with people who are currently experiencing racial violence and ask what they would advise for immigrants. Black people are probably the most relevant, followed by Hispanics. However, women and disabled folks have their own perspectives that will also be helpful. Ideally, you want someone with a sophisticated and comprehensive grasp of the issues because they will need to adapt their own ethnicity's parameters to fit your clients' needs. Check your local colleges. Do they have professors teaching African-American Studies, Hispanic Studies, Peace Studies, World Religions, Diversity Studies, Multicultural Awareness, etc.? Those would all be good people to ask about resources that would help your clients. They are also excellent education or careeer goals for your clients, and people can certainly start studying those on their own.
Also check with local lawyers, who can advice on your state and municipal laws. Local-America has little or nothing in the way of Citizen Law classes with the exception of Driver's Education. See if you can talk a lawyer or even a law student into making a presentation on this topic for your refugees -- some of them do a bit of pro bono work.
Unfortunately, America lets its police murder people at whim, and almost never punishes them. You don't really have any rights. So any interaction with police should be approached with that awareness. People should think about their goals and plan in advance how they would handle various scenarios. Some may care most about survival, where others are much more interested in avoiding rape or torture.
https://www.1800thelaw2.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-and-avoid-police-brutality
https://www.jacobinmag.com/2019/03/police-interaction-course-brutality-racism
https://www.joincampaignzero.org/solutions
https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2016/11/29/12989428/police-shooting-race-crime
https://www.laprogressive.com/stop-police-brutality/
https://www.racialequitytools.org/resourcefiles/isal.pdf
https://www.justice.gov/archive/crs/pubs/avoidracial.htm
https://www.tolerance.org/professional-development/strategies-for-reducing-racial-and-ethnic-prejudice-essential-principles
https://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/health/racism/
http://www.nzdl.org/gsdlmod?e=d-00000-00---off-0ccgi--00-0----0-10-0---0---0direct-10---4-------0-1l--11-en-50---20-about---00-0-1-00-0--4----0-0-11-10-0utfZz-8-00&cl=CL1.1&d=HASH912281d4b0119834b56286.8.4>=1
https://www.justice.gov/hatecrimes/preventing-hate-crimes-your-community
https://www.splcenter.org/20170814/ten-ways-fight-hate-community-response-guide
https://www.thedailyvox.co.za/huda-fahmy-uses-comics-to-tackle-islamophobia-fatima-moosa/
https://www.cnn.com/2016/09/04/europe/artists-comic-guide-against-anti-muslim-harassment/index.html
https://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/12170357.html
This is a good place to discuss another issue: ethnic pride and assimilation. Refugees and other immigrants have to decide whether they still like their home culture or are so fucking done with it. Some throw themselves into their new culture and try to avoid the old as much as possible. Others cling to what they have left of their old life and tolerate the new only as much as they have to. This is a bone of contention in many immigrant communities, so raise the issue and encourage people to accept that other people may decide differently. Both paths are okay. Do what works for you.
As a support person, you should be aware that these different decisions may require very different assistance from you. One person may want to use English only as a tool to get by, while another would love a referral to a Speech Language Pathologist who could help make their accent sound more American.
>> I've heard of a few tricks (keep toys in your car, turn the car light on if cops stop you at night, wear obviously medical masks instead of bandannas, dress /nice/, go to a store where they know you) and might be able to generalize to 'look repsectable, harmless and nonthreatening,' but I don't want to gamble with giving someone bad advice. (I know "Dress respectably and don't make him angry," often doesn't really work to prevent sexual violence.) <<
If someone has decided to abuse or murder you, nothing will stop him short of escaping or doing enough damage to make him stop. This is a problem because, in America, white people are allowed to abuse people of color, men are allowed to abuse women, the rich abuse the poor, and the police can abuse anyone who's not a cop or extremely powerful. We live in a country where police can strangle a man slowly to death using an illegal technique, in broad daylight, in front of a crowd, on camera. They are that fearless, because they are just plain above the law. This is an ugly truth people do not like to admit, but thinking you have rights can get you killed. The most effective approaches are often 1) Do nothing to attract the attention of predators (e.g. to avoid cops, avoid areas with high crime) and 2) Work the problem from the bottom up (e.g. take away police protections against prosecution for murdering civilians). See above resources for tools.
>> I'm also not sure I'm the best person to be doing this, <<
You are the boots on the ground. You are there, you are in touch with people who need help, and you are willing to do the work. That makes you a right person to do it. You may not be the best possible person, but it's like a job interview: if nobody better is there, then you're it. By all means, look for volunteers or hired help with skills you lack, but don't let that stop you from starting on the stuff you can address yourself.
>> as its not my lived experience and I've had the experience of guys trying to help me with sexism sometimes coming across as annoyingly preachy. <<
Just put it on the table. Tell people your background and that it's okay to stop you if they don't want to talk about something or it bothers them.
People can learn how to handle issues outside their lived experience, if they know folks from a different background and they're open to input. I write all kinds of traits I don't have, and I do it by getting help from trait-having readers. You can do this.
>> And the fact that people are staying home, the economy is wobbling, etc make it more complicated to do some things (like accompanying people to the store). <<
Yeah, the whole world has gone insane and will be cleaning up the mess they've made for years to come. The fact that they just turned the whole world into a jail has really lit a match in the fireworks factory. >_< I can't stop that. So I selected the task "give people a topic-free environment" instead.
Here, you have opened a topic that is familiar to me and I can explain how to work the problem. Refugees face many challenges, but most of those are fixable if people choose. There are lots of tools.
Finally, I recommend that you browse my How To page for resources that you may find relevant to your current project. Peacemongering 101 is an obvious addition but there may be more.
https://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/11690782.html
I hope this helps.