Hard Things
May. 30th, 2018 12:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithLife is full of things which are hard or tedious or otherwise unpleasant that need doing anyhow. They help make the world go 'round, they improve skills, and they boost your sense of self-respect. But doing them still kinda sucks. It's all the more difficult to do those things when nobody appreciates it. Happily, blogging allows us to share our accomplishments and pat each other on the back.
What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do?
What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-05-30 02:28 pm (UTC)I'm trying again to break my
ridiculousfear of spider webs. Not the spiders, just the webs - and I mean, yell, flinch away from them, shy like a horse spotting Something Bad. Buh.I have had some success attacking spiderweb with a cleaning wand, and recently just a plain stick. So long as I stop before getting too reactive to it, it seems to be okay.
Hopefully I can find a way to handle this more permanently, because not being able to de-cobweb the things that need it only results in more gross.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-05-30 02:37 pm (UTC)*pompoms*
(no subject)
Date: 2018-05-30 05:00 pm (UTC)Hmm ...
Date: 2018-05-30 05:32 pm (UTC)* Get as close to the bad thing as possible without becoming stressed over it.
* Stay there for a little while, doing something really fun.
* Back off and relax.
Over time, this should create positive associations that outweigh the negative ones, provided that the bad thing is not currently a credible threat. So as you repeat the exercise, you should be able to get closer before it becomes stressful, and the level of stress should go down.
This is a much gentler and less miserable process compared with exposure therapy, so the big drawbacks -- people quitting because it sucks, or making the problem worse -- have much lower risk levels.
Re: Hmm ...
Date: 2018-05-30 06:13 pm (UTC)The bad thing in this case is not a credible threat ever? So hopefully that'll help. Thanks.
Re: Hmm ...
Date: 2018-05-30 06:24 pm (UTC)Yay! I'm happy to help.
>> ("Magic wand" sticks to clear webs without having to touch them = the success of getting a cobweb out followed by a wind-down period where I'm careful about anxiety levels.) <<
Excellent plan. There is no need to touch webs with your fingers. You can use a stick or something to clean the magic wand. Often I just use a disposable tool such as a twig or rolled paper tube to gather low cobwebs, and throw it all away. Long sleeves and dishwashing gloves might help reduce anxiety related to getting the webs "on" you.
>>The bad thing in this case is not a credible threat ever? <<
Unless you've had traumatic experiences with spiders, my bet is that the webs are pinging the instinct that warns of spiders being bitey things. In this case, logic may help; you could say things like "Spiders can be dangerous, but spiderwebs are nonthreatening."
Re: Hmm ...
Date: 2018-05-30 10:12 pm (UTC)Thank goodness for that. ;)
>>Often I just use a disposable tool such as a twig or rolled paper tube to gather low cobwebs, and throw it all away.<<
Yup! That works really well outdoors. Indoors, that's what dust wands are for. Long sleeves help to some extent, but it's the awful sound they make as much as the actual feeling of them. (That said, touching webs? brrrr. And nothing defends against the 3am dragline to the face, because /somebody/ had to descend /right here./)
Re: Hmm ...
Date: 2018-05-30 10:29 pm (UTC)Would music help cover up the sound, especially with headphones?
>> And nothing defends against the 3am dragline to the face, because /somebody/ had to descend /right here./) <<
O_O I think everyone finds that creepy.