Cuddle Party

[ysabetwordsmith]

Everyone needs contact comfort sometimes.  Not everyone has ample opportunities for this in facetime.  So here is a chance for a cuddle party in cyberspace.  Virtual cuddling can help people feel better.

We have a cuddle room that comes with fort cushions, fort frames, sheets for draping, and a weighted blanket.  It has a basket of grooming brushes, hairbrushes, and styling combs.  A bin holds textured pillows. There is a big basket of craft supplies along with art markers, coloring pages, and blank paper.  The kitchen has a popcorn machine. Labels are available to mark dietary needs, recipe ingredients, and level of spiciness. Here is the bathroom, open to everyone.  There is a lawn tent and an outdoor hot tub. Bathers should post a sign for nude or clothed activity.  Come snuggle up!

Comments

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>...Gunna do that. Like hardcoh do dat shit.<<

Yay!

>> Thankfually the peeps we movin' in wid git mah triggers. Been good about makin' me not feel stupid for'em.<<

That's good.

>> I hate when triggers fuck me up. :/ <<

Everyone who has triggers hates them. When you get into a safer environment, you can work on smoothing them down some, and over time they'll bother you less.

>> Y-Ya sho? <<

Quite sure. Everyone gets hurt sometimes, which means everyone needs to cry. It can be messy and unpleasant, but it's like throwing up -- that's what happens when you swallow something that isn't good for you, and it's less awful than leaving it in there.

Telling boys not to cry is harmful. Men need to cry too. (Everyone does.) Lack of touch is destructive to men's mental and physical health. (This is true for mammals in general.) It's caused by everything from homophobia to fear of sexual complaints. Men need more touch than they usually get. This is a problem, because touch starvation correlates with more violence. Basically, if you don't express your emotions and connect with other people, that makes it harder to understand and control your urges.

>> Gunna git bad if I let go really.
*he looks up at her*...ya serious, ain't ya. <<

I am serious, and yes, people who haven't had a good cry in a long time tend to release a flood. That's okay. I've been cried on before. The cuddle room has been cried in before. If you fall apart in here, most that'll happen is folks asking how you are and if you want a fresh shoulder or hankie.

>>Mah Fallon's family's...dey bettah people. I love mah Cassie. She my OSO an'...we had some serious shit for a while, but we done got past it an' we really damn close now. Cool an' shit. Dat mah girl :) <<

That's good. Support helps.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[djbluejay]

I am serious, and yes, people who haven't had a good cry in a long time tend to release a flood. That's okay. I've been cried on before. The cuddle
room has been cried in before. If you fall apart in here, most that'll happen is folks asking how you are and if you want a fresh shoulder or hankie.
...OK...

He tenses at first, trying to still hold it in, but then, finally starts to relax.

It starts slow at first, a few trickles, and he experimentally moves closer to snug against Ysabit, barely noticing Fallon coming to lay, gently, a hand on his back, as he finally breaks apart, the sobs shaking his frame.

Despite his best efforts, those around him can hear them as hiccupping, or even a bit of a tiger rumble sound-even in human form-and the sniffles make his cheeks go red with sudden embarrassment.

After some time, they finally tapper off, and he feels slightly better, if quite a bit drained from that.

He almost buries his face in his hands befoe remembering he don't have to do that heah.

...

He still has tears coming off and on as he accepts the calming presence of the PurrBeast, and tries to breath whatever's left out as shit he doen't want nomore.

He feel like he could do this again, though,if he ain't careful-just break into those sobs again, an' it still make him nervous as hell that he gunna get namecalled for it. Even if he ain't been...for a while now, it still theah. He don't like that. :(

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[we_are_spc]

As Jay cries, Fallon scoots forward to gently lay a hand on his back.

My poor bonded. She doesn't say it out loud, but she gently rubs his back from waist to shoulder and down again once before just leaving her hand at the small ina light, static touch.

She smiles to K'in, sending a silent 'hello' his way before she asks to lean against him for a little while Jay collects himself: This is going to tak a long while now.

-Fallon~

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[ysabetwordsmith]

He can take as long as he needs. This isn't a race.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[we_are_spc]

He can indeed. I'ma be nearby so long as is needed. :)

-Fallon~

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[djbluejay]

<3 Fallon. s'much <3

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>It starts slow at first, a few trickles, and he experimentally moves closer to snug against Ysabit, barely noticing Fallon coming to lay, gently, a hand on his back, as he finally breaks apart, the sobs shaking his frame.<<

*gentle cuddles*

>> After some time, they finally tapper off, and he feels slightly better, if quite a bit drained from that. <<

Yeah, it's a storm, but crying helps some.

>> He almost buries his face in his hands befoe remembering he don't have to do that heah.<<

Quite right.

>> He feel like he could do this again, though,if he ain't careful-just break into those sobs again, an' it still make him nervous as hell that he gunna get namecalled for it. <<

Anybody who makes fun of someone for crying in here will get a boot to the rear, and I mightn't bother to open the door first.

>>Even if he ain't been...for a while now, it still theah. He don't like that. :( <<

It comes out the way it goes in: one line at a time. Eventually, it'll wear down. In the meantime, it's just an aggravation, like wearing wet clothes. Everyone cries. It's natural and necessary. Cuddling is good for people. You are wanted here. And the people who roughed you up are a sorry waste of carbon that could be put to better use elsewhere.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[djbluejay]

Yeah, it's a storm, but crying helps some.

...Findin' that out...need did so much. th..thank ya...

Anybody who makes fun of someone for crying in here will get a boot to the rear, and I mightn't bother to open the door first.

That gits a watery chuckle out of him before he went cat. ~Like ya...so much...~

It comes out the way it goes in: one line at a time. Eventually, it'll wear down. In the meantime, it's just an aggravation, like wearing wet clothes.
Everyone cries. It's natural and necessary. Cuddling is good for people. You are wanted here. And the people who roughed you up are a sorry waste
of carbon that could be put to better use elsewhere.

Like not heah. Somethin' tells me if anyone in family do this ya gunna be on they ass. I'ma not wanna piss you off...

*purr-sort-of-laugh*

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>...Findin' that out...need did so much. th..thank ya...<<

Welcome anytime.

>> Like not heah. Somethin' tells me if anyone in family do this ya gunna be on they ass.<<

Like ugly on an ape.

>> I'ma not wanna piss you off... <<

It takes some doing. You seem not like the kind of person who does the sort of things that really rile me up. Everyone rubs each other the wrong way occasionally, but it's no big deal; friends can talk it out.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[djbluejay]

Welcome anytime.
:)

Like ugly on an ape.
Mental smuhk at that an' shit.:d *Fallon gigglesnort*

It takes some doing. You seem not like the kind of person who does the sort of things that really rile me up. Everyone rubs each other the wrong way
occasionally, but it's no big deal; friends can talk it out.

Yeah. Seem like ain't puhson who piss a lot of people heah off. 'snice dat.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[ysabetwordsmith]

Nice to talk homelike too.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[djbluejay]

Glad she don't mind dialect bein' everywhere but right. Been hangin' 'round peeps got different ways of speakin' dat he pick up sometimes an' drop. Weihd to be able to do did without bein' thought weihd fo it. Pro'ly bodyfears, but dey stil theah.

Sometimes wanna correct hisself 'cause he don't think he be understood an' shit.

Gets wohse when he stressed like dis. Then go back to sorta right, but not really.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Glad she don't mind dialect bein' everywhere but right. Been hangin' 'round peeps got different ways of speakin' dat he pick up sometimes an' drop. Weihd to be able to do did without bein' thought weihd fo it. Pro'ly bodyfears, but dey stil theah. <<

It's just codeswitching between different registers of language. Lots of folks do it. Me, I tend to drop into dialect if someone else is, I'm linguistic SillyPutty. But Southern's strongest, because my mama's people come from Tennessee. So if I'm around it, then it comes back, and thick as molasses in winter. People think I'm teasing them, sometimes, but I'm not. Talk about fishin' and it comes up too, cause we did that together.

>> Sometimes wanna correct hisself 'cause he don't think he be understood an' shit. <<

Well, folks might miss a few words, but it's close enough for grabs. Cajun now, that's harder, cause it crosses with French.

>> Gets wohse when he stressed like dis. Then go back to sorta right, but not really.<<

*pet pet pet* You'll be okay eventually.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[djbluejay]

It's just codeswitching between different registers of language. Lots of folks do it. Me, I tend to drop into dialect if someone else is, I'm linguistic
SillyPutty. But Southern's strongest, because my mama's people come from Tennessee. So if I'm around it, then it comes back, and thick as molasses in
winter. People think I'm teasing them, sometimes, but I'm not. Talk about fishin' and it comes up too, cause we did that together.

Yeah body like dat. Pick up Spanish, Irish and Southahn like it were born to it. Cajun sort of, buit not like da oder three. Easier to writ Black-whtevah dialect is 'cause ain't so afraid of bein' caught that way. 'cause writin' was sanity for most of life. Talkin' different doe.

Well, folks might miss a few words, but it's close enough for grabs. Cajun now, that's harder, cause it crosses with French.

Yeah. Got somewhat Cajun kid named Evan. He go mor southahn when he heah 'cause body do it better. Mississippe born No'ohlans raised by grandma. 'nuff to be considered half-Cajun by fam. Good guy. Like him a li'l too when I sees him.

*pet pet pet* You'll be okay eventually.

Ya sho I still OK. Dis...feels weihd bein this...like dis. Vulnerable usually ain't me. *nervous*

Brush? ... Brush plz? Won't fix dreds, but make me feel les...scattahed. les...everwhere.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Yeah body like dat. Pick up Spanish, Irish and Southahn like it were born to it. Cajun sort of, buit not like da oder three. <<

For me, Spanish is a field of marigolds in my head. Took one year, and it just kept growing. Now I can understand some stuff I know we never covered in class.

>>Easier to writ Black-whtevah dialect is 'cause ain't so afraid of bein' caught that way. 'cause writin' was sanity for most of life. Talkin' different doe.<<

Sure, because talking puts you face to face and writing doesn't have to.

>> Ya sho I still OK. Dis...feels weihd bein this...like dis. Vulnerable usually ain't me. *nervous* <<

Takes a lot of practice to feel comfortable with vulnerability. Ever see a crawdad shed its skin? All soft and white underneath for a while, so they tend to hide. But that's the only way they can grow.

>> Brush? ... Brush plz? Won't fix dreds, but make me feel les...scattahed. les...everwhere <<

Might could be this is where I say that I'm a strong enough shapeshifter it can affect other people. Energy worker, too. So if I'm brushing and wishing you more together, might happen. You still want brushed?

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[djbluejay]

For me, Spanish is a field of marigolds in my head. Took one year, and it just kept growing. Now I can understand some stuff I know we never covered
in class.

Wish languages work like dat for us. Gaelic be a grown field by now 'smuch as we listen to it heah. Such pretty music. Like it. Wish Fallon could sing it moe heah. Good...nice and wahm feelin'. Like blanket fo me. Like mah own language be an' shit. Guss 'cause it rolls kinda...dunno...jus enjoy da soundof it an' other pretty languages. Elvish dat way too. 'cause I kin sorta learn it in sleepins. don't have to worry about bein' called out for mistakes 'cause it flows like watah do...bablin' now. heh. Pro'ly gunna bed soon if I can. Sleep not good when I be like dis. Bad nuight. May stay an' clean shit. Dunno...

Sure, because talking puts you face to face and writing doesn't have to.

Don' feel like writtin' git ya hurt so much neithah.

Takes a lot of practice to feel comfortable with vulnerability. Ever see a crawdad shed its skin? All soft and white underneath for a while, so they
tend to hide. But that's the only way they can grow.

Nah, ain't seen it. Heahd of it doe. People say dey good eatin' too. Like bein' able to be like dis an' not git...no one heah ain't yet. 'snice.

Might could be this is where I say that I'm a strong enough shapeshifter it can affect other people. Energy worker, too. So if I'm brushing and wishing
you more together, might happen. You still want brushed?
...not ready dat yet. Pets den? Want hot cocoa an' cookies fuhst. AIn't ready all togethah yet. Feel like could be rupt-break bad if we do it jus nah.

Ya good peeps. really do like ya...lots. <3 Ysabet.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Gaelic be a grown field by now 'smuch as we listen to it heah. Such pretty music. Like it. Wish Fallon could sing it moe heah. Good...nice and wahm feelin'. Like blanket fo me. <<

Well, one of the Three Strains is suantraí, for sleep.

>>Like mah own language be an' shit. Guss 'cause it rolls kinda...dunno...jus enjoy da soundof it an' other pretty languages. Elvish dat way too. 'cause I kin sorta learn it in sleepins. don't have to worry about bein' called out for mistakes 'cause it flows like watah do...bablin' now. heh.<<

I like pretty languages too.

>> Pro'ly gunna bed soon if I can. Sleep not good when I be like dis. Bad nuight. May stay an' clean shit. Dunno... <<

Sleep if you can. Most people find it easier after a good cry. You might need to pull yourself back together a little first, so take your time.

>>...not ready dat yet. Pets den? Want hot cocoa an' cookies fuhst. AIn't ready all togethah yet. Feel like could be rupt-break bad if we do it jus nah.<<

That's okay. I can brush or pet without changing anything, just need to tamp it down a bit.

>> Ya good peeps. really do like ya...lots. <3 Ysabet. <<

I like you too.

Let's see, here's a nice boar-bristle brush that ought to get through tiger fur.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[djbluejay]

Well, one of the Three Strains is suantraí, for sleep.

Din't know dat. Good to know. Maybe find some latah. Gunna have to find somethin' to sleep wid today. Ya done helped a lot. Th...thank ya muches...

I like pretty languages too.

Pretty languages toys. Wohdplay's good when I not did stressed out. Snarky sarcasm...been gittin' moe good atdat bein' in family of writers an' language nirds. Kaelaren ovah theh...he wohdmage. Pens can do shit if he let'em. Good at dat too. One of the reasons we want Kaligs in body. So he an' Craimah cn do stuff...an' not feel trapped wi'out they skils. Like watchin'em, too. Fun.

Sleep if you can. Most people find it easier after a good cry. You might need to pull yourself back together a little first, so take your time.

Slowly doin' dat. Find if it go to quick I worse off dan I was 'fore cryin's. Why say careful wi'brushin's. :)

That's okay. I can brush or pet without changing anything, just need to tamp it down a bit.

I like you too.

Let's see, here's a nice boar-bristle brush that ought to get through tiger fur.
*rumble purr* Ya...gunna...brush me all sleeps. 'sOkay. Need dat now. Done wid cookies anyway. Cocoa get wahm again.

Tell Fallon she can get brushin's too. Feel huh wantin' dat now. Love huh....so...*yawn*...much...

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[we_are_spc]

Like ugly on an ape.
*gigglesnort*...yeah, I figured. It's a good thing I'ma be right behind you. None in the family's gunna stand for that shit. If they do, Rose'll be all on their ass, too.

We're a very heart-on-sleeve family-and he's stil getting used to that.

-Fallon~

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[ysabetwordsmith]

Well, that kind of openness is daunting when you're not used to it. Most folks get used to it. He just needs the option of backing off a bit sometimes when he gets overloaded.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[we_are_spc]

Which he gets...most days.

He must feel safe here, like he said. Outside of family, you and DD's places (Which he didn't mention) are litterally the only places he feels like he can actually fall apart in, for the most part except for here inthe house, obvs) and not feel like he'll be judged for it. He'll probably need reassuring later that this was OK once he figures out what the hell he did.

Or maybe he won't, it depends on the day, actually, and the people.

*reaches out to run fingers down Jay's side from sholder down* *gentle hum with smile in it* <3 Jay. Still here, Love.

-Fallon~

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Which he gets...most days.<<

Aww.

>> He must feel safe here, like he said.<<

That's good.

>> Outside of family, you and DD's places (Which he didn't mention) are litterally the only places he feels like he can actually fall apart in, for the most part except for here inthe house, obvs) and not feel like he'll be judged for it.<<

Yeah, the wider society is not very welcoming. And then they wonder why so many people are anxious and unhealthy. Well, duh.

>> He'll probably need reassuring later that this was OK once he figures out what the hell he did.<<

Totally okay. People often need confirmation afterwards, if they're not used to having safe emotional space.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[we_are_spc]

Yeah, the wider society is not very welcoming. And then they wonder why so many people are anxious and unhealthy. Well, duh.

Yeah. So much is caught up in money these days it's insane. I didn't realize how much of that was the case until I started trying to be an independent contractor, and the doctor said it was a good thing that they're going toard licensing of massage therapists, not just certification )Whatever the difference was; I never can relly know, to me it's all the same, really). So...yeah there's that.

Totally okay. People often need confirmation afterwards, if they're not used to having safe emotional space.


He's getting there, but he's not quite there yet. Cassie and I give him what he needs ad do most of the rest of the family who know (And those who don't are kicked out so those who do can), but he's still got a long way to go.

I had no idea until recently that moving was this hard on the poor man. :(

-Fallon~

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I didn't realize how much of that was the case until I started trying to be an independent contractor, and the doctor said it was a good thing that they're going toard licensing of massage therapists, not just certification )Whatever the difference was; I never can relly know, to me it's all the same, really). <<

They probably want to ban it altogether for everyone who lacks a license, which will destroy massage the way they largely destroyed midwifery. It keeps the cash cows from escaping the pen.

Re: Does virtual touch make you feel better?

[we_are_spc]

Yeah...that's what it .looks like. I'd have to look at the IPLA site but that's what's happening with most states I think.

Ug...:/ To me that's another tep in taking out rungs. I mean, like you said somethings need a specialization-medical massage does I would think-but the rest? Come on man.

On a sort of related note-even the term 'sexual harrassment' is new. I was hering stores from a woman in the sixties where they were playing around in the office and...well, they wouldn't be ablt to getaway with half the stuff she talked about today. It's just nuts how much freer society was back then.

-Fallon~