Hard Things

[ysabetwordsmith]

Life is full of things which are hard or tedious or otherwise unpleasant that need doing anyhow. They help make the world go 'round, they improve skills, and they boost your sense of self-respect. But doing them still kinda sucks. It's all the more difficult to do those things when nobody appreciates it. Happily, blogging allows us to share our accomplishments and pat each other on the back.

What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do?

Comments

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>This whole summer has been hard, because of family leave with my daughter.<<

That sucks.

>>- get him into a school program that will actually move him forward into success rather than just promote to the next grade<<

Good luck with that.

>> I realized this summer that somehow none of the occupational therapists taught him to tie knots once he had the fine motor control, because they were focused on social skills, and now he's convinced he can't do it at all. <<

*sigh* Occupational therapists are supposed to ask the client -- which at minimum should be you, and preferably should be him -- for a set of goals. What can he not do that he wants or needs to do? What is happening that he wants to stop? And then their job is to figure out how to get from here to there. They aren't supposed to make up the goals, because everyone's needs are different, although it's easy to get priorities scrambled in a complex situation.

Hm, it might help to split it and have one person teach social skills, another physical skills. It's hard enough juggling one batch of hard things, without having to account for two totally different batches of stuff.

>> He turned twelve this week. He struggled through fifth and sixth grade and now he's being forced to go on to seventh grade. <<

That sucks. It's not a real education then, people are just lying to make themselves look good, because it'll look very bad for them if he drops out or you pull him out at that level due to them not in fact teaching him things. If they won't quit lying, your best bet is to move him somewhere else, or at least be honest about the fact that he's not getting an education and quit pressuring him to fake it.

>>At least he gets praise for dealing with frustration less violently than his sister...<<

Yeah, but what does that really get him, other than not punished? It's not getting his needs met, which sucks. This matters because when needs aren't met, people tend to up the ante eventually, which is exactly how a child goes from saying no to pulling away to bolting to hitting. So often, the resources aren't there, and people just expect them to suffer silently.

I hope you can find solutions.