Hard Things

[ysabetwordsmith]

Life is full of things which are hard or tedious or otherwise unpleasant that need doing anyhow. They help make the world go 'round, they improve skills, and they boost your sense of self-respect. But doing them still kinda sucks. It's all the more difficult to do those things when nobody appreciates it. Happily, blogging allows us to share our accomplishments and pat each other on the back.

What are some of the hard things you've done recently?

Comments

[beasts_of_homeworld]

we faced a fear
a deathly phobia
an OCD terror
that was threatening our life.

we worked harder than
our body has the strength for
in one weekend.

we vanquished our foe.

and now we are recuperating.

^_^

[alexseanchai]

Well done! Rest well :)

Yay!

[ysabetwordsmith]

Congratulations on the achievement.

[alexseanchai]

Scheduled a consultation appointment with an orthopedic surgeon.

Surgery is a terrifying prospect.

[redsixwing]

Well done, you.

Terrifying, yes, but the payoff?

[alexseanchai]

Yeah, that's the idea. :)

[redsixwing]

I dealt with a friend's small crisis, and then my small crisis, with less than half an hour between.

I took a difficult situation, found a workable solution, and asked for help to get through it.

Go you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

Those are good accomplishments.

[technoshaman]

To protect the shreds of sanity I have left, I have given up cooking for the extended family, temporarily I hope.

I don't know how much more I will have to give up. But at least there is cause for hope.

*hugs*

[ysabetwordsmith]

It really sucks when you have to downshift to a lower level of functionality to avoid a complete crash. But it is better than the alternative. Look for ways to decrease stress and increase spoons.

[alatefeline]

I went to the library to work on some worrisome paperwork. I realized that I was starting to panic about it. I decided to go home. I did so safely and in good order. I made very little progress on the paperwork, but I did make some progress, and I prevented myself from losing it even though I had to deal with the following stress factors in addition to the paperwork itself: large public spaces; lots of people; paying library fines; rain on my books and papers; trying to fit a bag and a half of papers and books into one bag; a messy car; driving; traffic, bridges, and one-way streets; headache and one sided light sensitivity. I am proud of myself for noticing signs and handling stressors fairly well on the way back instead of running myself into a wall.

Well...

[ysabetwordsmith]

I'm glad you managed to handle it enough to get home safely.

I think that people have made modern life so full of stress, they've lost track of it. They don't realize that it's the cumulative effect that does the most damage. Most people can handle one or two irritating things or mishaps, but the more piles up, the fewer people can deal with that. Human bodies are not meant to function with stress hormones flowing all the time. Or as Charlie put it in Biker Mice from Mars: "Turbo is a button you push and LET GO, not a button you push and HOLD DOWN!"

We really need to look for ways to reduce the ambient stressors. Quiet rooms. Parks and other greenery. Aquariums in waiting rooms are something I see fairly often, which is highly effective. Shut off the constant barrage of ads, many of them designed to make people feel bad about themselves. Take the sonofabitch televisions out of restaurants and the ad screens out of grocery stores.

Then support coping capacity. Teach relaxation and other coping skills. Make sure people know the signs of stress in themselves and others, so they can stop before things get out of control. Insist that people do, in fact, STOP PUSHING when they see someone else starting to lose their grip so there is time and space to calm down. Teach emotional first aid for self and others, so that when feelings get hurt, they're taken care of promptly and not left to fester until it becomes a major problem. Make mental health care readily available, safe, private, free or affordable, and something that people do routinely instead of waiting until it's an emergency. Rebuild family and community ties so that folks have a support network.

I was writing a poem about Ansel showing Turq around the lakeside neighborhood the other day, and was captivated by how different it looks when a culture trains people well enough that emotional competence and civility are reasonable assumptions to make when making introductions. It's not just Ansel making broad references to Turq needing to be treated gently. There's the same little hint-dropping with other people. Certain traits are treated as semi-public information so that they can be accommodated. There are group resources, but also some for introverts, and people point each other toward facilities that might be useful. So you can drop a traumatized supervillain into that community, and people will notice -- without even knowing all the details -- that he's insecure and needs a little extra space and care. You can mention that someone is shy, introverted, has a low startle reflex, has had a rough time, or that's a foster family and expect that people will use that information to help instead of hurt. And it's just a huge difference when traits are merely traits and people aren't criticized for preferring small groups or one-on-one interactions instead of a mob. It's like the psychological equivalent of safety rails and curb cuts, which make society not just safer and more accessible, but more enjoyable for everyone.

*sigh* I have fernweh so bad right now.

Re: Well...

[alatefeline]

I can understand that. It would be good to live in a kinder world. Sometimes, when the wind is right and people try their best, events or experiences overlap a bit, though, and you can see the view over there from here.

<3

[helgatwb]

I managed not to lose my temper with two co-workers who are not doing their jobs properly, and rude customers. So, win.

Also, had a panic attack at work, but managed to calm myself down, and stayed my whole shift.

Go you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

It's good that you got through everything.

Dealing with rude customers is aggravating but part of many jobs. Dealing with coworkers who are lazy or incompetent should NOT be. >_

[mdlbear]

Made a vet appointment for my cat. I am very afraid of what the diagnosis could be.

[khaleesigirl12]

I had to say goodbye to my co-workers today. I have a new job! But it was very hard, especially because everyone kept saying that I was one of the best housekeepers they'd worked with and that they'd miss me a lot. It was hard, because I know the supervisor very well, I love her dearly, so I knew it would be very hard for her to see me leave. But I have to take care of myself. My new job pays more, has a retirement savings plan, benefits, and set hours. I start Monday! So while I had hard moments today at work, where I was crying in the rooms as I made beds and saying goodbye to women I have come to love a lot, I know in the long run that this decision is the best one for me.

Aww ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

That is hard. Leaving people you care about really sucks.

Congratulations on the new job, though!

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

Everything's a bit hard at present... I separated a rib at the weekend, so I'm kind of having to be careful how I do stuff physically otherwise it goes from being a bit ouchy to 'concentrate on not screaming'.

I should be resting really, that's what the advice is...but housework needs doing and it's for sure no-one else is going to do it. and it's not helped by the fact it makes sleeping hard, so I'm tired right from the moment I reluctantly wake up.

Hopefully it shouldn't take much more than a week or two to heal up.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

>> Everything's a bit hard at present... I separated a rib at the weekend, so I'm kind of having to be careful how I do stuff physically otherwise it goes from being a bit ouchy to 'concentrate on not screaming'. <<

That sucks. :(

>> I should be resting really, that's what the advice is...but housework needs doing and it's for sure no-one else is going to do it. <<

I wish our society were more functional and had better fault tolerance. I think a lot of reason behind the generally poor health is just that so many people have nobody to take up the slack when they're sick or injured, so things don't heal as well.

Re: Thoughts

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

The problem for me is that I'm the one that usually picks up the slack when my beloved is ill or incapacitated. The reasons for that are beyond my control, and don't change if I'm the one who's down for the count...

So yeah, feeling the lack of a support net, because for me, it's more like a string and I'm at the end of my rope.

[rhodielady-47.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your rib. I hope you'll heal up okay.
:^}

[rhodielady-47.livejournal.com]

I made myself go to the dentist AND I survived his shot needle THREE times!
(The numbing medicine takes effect on me rapidly and it clears out rapidly as well--way too rapidly. It took three shots for him to remove a broken filling and then replace it.)

I'm okay today though!
:^)

[clockworklady.livejournal.com]

Good on you for visiting the dentist- my boyfriend hasn't been in over a decade and he's still young. One shattered tooth and one that needs a covering.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Good for you, and congratulations!

My problem with the dentist is breathing - my last dentist thought it was wonderful that I passed out from fatigue due to panic over inability to breathe correctly. I can't quite blame him - I went unresponsive, so he thought I was napping. But I wish I had had the knowledge then to explain that it was *not* a positive result, and was, in fact, intensely negative.