Schrodinger's Heroes: "Pat Meets Ash"
May. 8th, 2011 11:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithPreviously I introduced the imaginary fandom of the apocryphal television show Schrodinger's Heroes. You can start by reading a script of the first ad, "Alex and Bailey in the Closet" and the descriptive post "About the Show." Here is the script of the second advance advertisement for the pilot ...
[The faint humming sound from the first ad is back. There is still only a black screen with the character voices. Ash's voice has a faint metallic echo. Pat's voice is slightly muffled with distance.]
Ash: "Chí'as, wic, taw, taakwic ..."
Pat: "Hi, Ash! I'm Pat, the public relations guy. Alex asked me to introduce myself to the rest of the team. I thought I'd come down here to see if you needed anything."
Ash: "You made me lose count!"
Pat: "Sorry. I'll wait."
Ash: [Mumbles, gradually getting louder and clearer. ] "... kiyátaw, chí'as kíntii'i, iskhiri'awáás! All right, I have all these wires hooked up. Tell Alex that Control Board Three is ready for the big experiment tonight. I just need to finish hooking up Board Four but I think I can reach most of it from here."
Pat: "Actually, I haven't seen Alex or Bailey for about an hour. Are you all right under there?"
Ash: "Fine." [Sneeze.] "Okay, so it's a bit dusty. Pass me the canned air."
Pat: "Here you go."
[Metallic clank, followed by hissing.]
Ash: "That's much better."
Pat: [Sneeze.] "I hope Alex's subatomic particles aren't allergic to dust."
Ash: "I don't think they need air to sing."
Pat: "Riiiiight. So, um, we missed you at the pre-grand-opening party last night, Ash."
Ash: "That would be because I don't like parties and I was busy debugging the software that ensures Alex doesn't fold up the part of reality that we're standing on."
Pat: "I'll just ... get out of your way then. It's been nice talking to your ankles, Ash."
Ash: "Make yourself useful. Go find where I left my wrench. [Pause, then yelling.] "And coffee ... I need more coffee!"
* * *
Footnote: Ash is counting in Wichita.
"Pat Meets Ash"
[The faint humming sound from the first ad is back. There is still only a black screen with the character voices. Ash's voice has a faint metallic echo. Pat's voice is slightly muffled with distance.]
Ash: "Chí'as, wic, taw, taakwic ..."
Pat: "Hi, Ash! I'm Pat, the public relations guy. Alex asked me to introduce myself to the rest of the team. I thought I'd come down here to see if you needed anything."
Ash: "You made me lose count!"
Pat: "Sorry. I'll wait."
Ash: [Mumbles, gradually getting louder and clearer. ] "... kiyátaw, chí'as kíntii'i, iskhiri'awáás! All right, I have all these wires hooked up. Tell Alex that Control Board Three is ready for the big experiment tonight. I just need to finish hooking up Board Four but I think I can reach most of it from here."
Pat: "Actually, I haven't seen Alex or Bailey for about an hour. Are you all right under there?"
Ash: "Fine." [Sneeze.] "Okay, so it's a bit dusty. Pass me the canned air."
Pat: "Here you go."
[Metallic clank, followed by hissing.]
Ash: "That's much better."
Pat: [Sneeze.] "I hope Alex's subatomic particles aren't allergic to dust."
Ash: "I don't think they need air to sing."
Pat: "Riiiiight. So, um, we missed you at the pre-grand-opening party last night, Ash."
Ash: "That would be because I don't like parties and I was busy debugging the software that ensures Alex doesn't fold up the part of reality that we're standing on."
Pat: "I'll just ... get out of your way then. It's been nice talking to your ankles, Ash."
Ash: "Make yourself useful. Go find where I left my wrench. [Pause, then yelling.] "And coffee ... I need more coffee!"
* * *
Footnote: Ash is counting in Wichita.
broken footnote?
Date: 2014-05-06 12:57 am (UTC)The link to counting in Wichita is broken (404).
These two /feel/ like people I know, fleshed out, realistic behavior, et cetera.
Re: broken footnote?
Date: 2014-05-06 01:15 am (UTC)The link to counting in Wichita is broken (404). <<
Replaced.
>> These two /feel/ like people I know, fleshed out, realistic behavior, et cetera. <<
Yay! I'm happy to hear that, especially for a piece this early in the project.