* The best humor amuses everyone and harms no one. Seek jokes that are funny without making fun of anyone. Linguistic humor and silly anecdotes about unexpected whimsies are good examples. The meeping otters video is hilarious without saying a word.
* You can make fun of yourself or any group to which you belong. Outside that it gets riskier.
* Pay attention to individuals and groups to learn your audience. It is easier to amuse those whose tastes you know than strangers.
* Study the most popular comedians. They are popular for a reason.
* If someone makes a joke of Type X, they are probably amused by that category.
* If you saw it in contemporary media aimed at children, it is probably safe.
* Only punch up, never down. Mocking those more powerful than yourself may be risky, but mocking those less powerful is just plain cruel.
* Some types of humor, such as puns, are generally safer than other types of humor, such as satire.
* If a joke annoys people, apologize and move on. Don't repeat that type of joke with that audience. This distinguishes you from assholes who are trying to be mean instead of funny. All commedians, even professionals, bomb occasionally. What distinguishes them from assholes is how they handle that.
* Read etiquette books. Most libraries and bookstores have a shelf or so. But shop mindfully. I found one pair where the men's book was all extremely useful tips ("Don't say X, Y, or Z. Say A instead.") and the women's book was shit like how to fold napkins. 0_o
* There are now more resources for neurovariant people, which explain a lot of unwritten rules and social demands. Unfortunately most of them are obnoxious to the point of abusive. But you might consider browsing them at a bookstore or library if you don't mind shucking a bucket of oysters to get one pearl.
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dancing_serpent
Try this ...
Date: 2021-07-30 01:34 am (UTC)* The best humor amuses everyone and harms no one. Seek jokes that are funny without making fun of anyone. Linguistic humor and silly anecdotes about unexpected whimsies are good examples. The meeping otters video is hilarious without saying a word.
* You can make fun of yourself or any group to which you belong. Outside that it gets riskier.
* Pay attention to individuals and groups to learn your audience. It is easier to amuse those whose tastes you know than strangers.
* Study the most popular comedians. They are popular for a reason.
* If someone makes a joke of Type X, they are probably amused by that category.
* If you saw it in contemporary media aimed at children, it is probably safe.
* Only punch up, never down. Mocking those more powerful than yourself may be risky, but mocking those less powerful is just plain cruel.
* Some types of humor, such as puns, are generally safer than other types of humor, such as satire.
* Avoid hot-button topics.
* If a joke annoys people, apologize and move on. Don't repeat that type of joke with that audience. This distinguishes you from assholes who are trying to be mean instead of funny. All commedians, even professionals, bomb occasionally. What distinguishes them from assholes is how they handle that.
Some references:
https://lifehacker.com/five-common-mistakes-people-make-when-telling-jokes-1688286046
https://www.fastcompany.com/3028499/this-is-why-youre-not-funny-a-professors-scientific-approach-to-dissecting-humor
https://nautil.us/blog/when-does-dark-humor-stop-being-funny
https://www.wikihow.com/Not-Make-Jokes-That-Are-Highly-Offensive-to-Others
If you have a pervasive sense of not knowing what is the right or wrong humor in a situation, then you might:
* Study nonverbal communication. This helps you read people's feelings.
http://changingminds.org/techniques/techniques.htm
http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/body_language.htm
* Explore cultural diversity and awareness.
Cultural Awareness
https://www.commisceo-global.com/resources
Disability and Inclusivity
https://www.peatworks.org/digital-accessibility-toolkits/staff-training-resources/disability-inclusion-basics/
Racial Equity
https://www.madisonpubliclibrary.org/resources/guides/racial-equity-resources
Sex/Gender Studies
https://csulb.libguides.com/wgss/web
* Read etiquette books. Most libraries and bookstores have a shelf or so. But shop mindfully. I found one pair where the men's book was all extremely useful tips ("Don't say X, Y, or Z. Say A instead.") and the women's book was shit like how to fold napkins. 0_o
* There are now more resources for neurovariant people, which explain a lot of unwritten rules and social demands. Unfortunately most of them are obnoxious to the point of abusive. But you might consider browsing them at a bookstore or library if you don't mind shucking a bucket of oysters to get one pearl.