Why People Are Unhappy
Jun. 21st, 2021 10:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis article looks at why Generation Y is unhappy. Some of it is true, but some overlooks other important stuff.
After graduating from being insufferable hippies, Lucy’s parents embarked on their careers. As the 70s, 80s, and 90s rolled along, the world entered a time of unprecedented economic prosperity.
That's not actually true. The real prosperity boom happened right after WWII, when the first suburbs were built -- the late 1940s and 1950s, then stuff started shaking up in the 1960s. By the 1970s, problems were appearing. By now, most people have never seen a good economy, one in which a single job routinely supported a household.
Cal Newport points out that “follow your passion” is a catchphrase that has only gotten going in the last 20 years, according to Google’s Ngram viewer, a tool that shows how prominently a given phrase appears in English print over any period of time.
Oh, it's not new, it's been around for ages. It just wasn't as widespread as it is now. Used to be a bohemian thing.
So why is this delusional? Because this is what all GYPSYs think, which defies the definition of special:
spe-cial| ‘speSHel |
adjective
better, greater, or otherwise different from what is usual.
According to this definition, most people are not special—otherwise “special” wouldn’t mean anything.
This is an extremely serious problem, and it's affecting the whole culture. It's the wrong way to think about what special means.
Each person has a unique pattern of strengths and weaknesses. This is so all the stuff can get done, rather than everyone wanting the same job. Most people are special, in that there are some things they do better than other people. Even within a given job, there are variations -- one secretary gives the best phone, another is fastest at filing, and so on. These things matter. They are reasons to hire one person over another, to choose which of half-a-dozen coworkers you ask for help, to take pride in your accomplishments. It is vitally important to understand, not only what makes you special, but what makes each person around you special.
Being special does not make it okay to step on other people, or that everything will be easy. It just means you can do some stuff easier or better than average, and you should apply yourself accordingly.
A second GYPSY delusion comes into play once the GYPSY enters the job market. While Lucy’s parents’ expectation was that many years of hard work would eventually lead to a great career, Lucy considers a great career an obvious given for someone as exceptional as she, and for her it’s just a matter of time and choosing which way to go.
Sort of true, but far from the only factor in play.
* No matter how much talent you have, you always need work to refine it.
* If you are in the right job, it will mostly feel interesting rather than tedious.
* Jobs that feel like too much work for too little reward tend to burn out the workers. This has always been true. People just know a bit more about it now.
* A healthy society helps people identify what they do well and enjoy, so they can make a career of that. Putting people in the wrong job wastes human capital and drags down the economy, which is one of many problems in local-America today.
He says that “a great source of frustration for people with a strong sense of entitlement is unmet expectations. They often feel entitled to a level of respect and rewards that aren’t in line with their actual ability and effort levels, and so they might not get the level of respect and rewards they are expecting.”
This part is true.
For those hiring members of Gen Y, Harvey suggests asking the interview question, “Do you feel you are generally superior to your coworkers/classmates/etc., and if so, why?” He says that “if the candidate answers yes to the first part but struggles with the ‘why,’ there may be an entitlement issue.
This is the most important part. You should know your strengths and be able to list or demonstrate them.* If you can back it up, it's not arrogance, it's confidence. I can back up my claim from the ordinary (breaking academic tests) to the extraordinary (winning a prize for writing poetry in a language I don't speak). You should know what you've already accomplished and also be able to list what you're currently working on. (Today's project: prairie restoration.)
* Note that imposter syndrome can impair people's ability to recognize or report their strengths, skills, and credentials. This has the worst impact on already disadvantaged groups such as women, black people, queerfolk, etc.
The flavor of special that some people are floating around is kind of like monarchy, where people think that falling out of a certain crotch makes them better than everyone else. The problem with this is that it works as long as everyone pretends it does, but when people stop playing along, then there's nothing to fall back on. The genuine article is based on applicable traits, developed skills, and concrete accomplishments -- whether social, professional, or some other sphere.
Social media creates a world for Lucy where A) what everyone else is doing is very out in the open, B) most people present an inflated version of their own existence, and C) the people who chime in the most about their careers are usually those whose careers (or relationships) are going the best, while struggling people tend not to broadcast their situation. This leaves Lucy feeling, incorrectly, like everyone else is doing really well, only adding to her misery.
This is true not only for Generation Y, but for everyone else online. Some people handle this problem by eschewing social media, which reduces but doesn't eliminate it; more rarely, people avoid computers, which is a costly but very effective method. Some cope by posting and/or reading about the messier parts of life, which can help a lot. (So the yard is a mess because a tree fell on it. That's life.) The usual complement of freethinker, anti-brainwashing, or cognitive/logic skills can counteract much of it too. Most people, unfortunately, don't seem able to recognize the bullshitting that is much of the internet nor to find ways of turning down the flow to something more manageable. This can be fatal. So now that is everyone's problem.
2) Stop thinking that you’re special. The fact is, right now, you’re not special. You’re another completely inexperienced young person who doesn’t have all that much to offer yet. You can become special by working really hard for a long time.
Gee, that's a way to kill people's momentum. And possibly people. Because if you don't find out what makes you special, you won't develop it.
3) Ignore everyone else. Other people’s grass seeming greener is no new concept, but in today’s image crafting world, other people’s grass looks like a glorious meadow. The truth is that everyone else is just as indecisive, self-doubting, and frustrated as you are, and if you just do your thing, you’ll never have any reason to envy others.
Largely true.
But let's acknowledge some other stuff affecting Generation Y and later:
* College costs astronomically more than ever before. It saddles young people with crippling debt that can't be discharged. It doesn't guarantee you a job that pays enough to pay off the creditors -- but it is required to apply for most jobs that even might pay enough to live on. This is a disaster.
* Climate change is making the world a lot less hospitable and a lot more expensive. The people whose fault it is will be dead before it gets really bad, leaving their descendants holding the bag. Yes, it's going to get a LOT worse. Many young people find this depressing and/or enraging.
* The younger people are, the fewer resources they have. Older people enjoyed extended families, usually a 2-parent household, few if any moves, civic engagement, and a stable career. Now people have fragmented families, move around more, less civic interaction, and can't even count on staying in the same field let alone the same job. That is much more stress, much less stability, and far fewer people to help them over life's inevitable bumps. It takes its toll.
Yeah. No wonder they're fucked up. You don't get healthy people in a sick society. But that doesn't make it their fault. You want to blame someone, blame the deciders -- and that's not the young.
After graduating from being insufferable hippies, Lucy’s parents embarked on their careers. As the 70s, 80s, and 90s rolled along, the world entered a time of unprecedented economic prosperity.
That's not actually true. The real prosperity boom happened right after WWII, when the first suburbs were built -- the late 1940s and 1950s, then stuff started shaking up in the 1960s. By the 1970s, problems were appearing. By now, most people have never seen a good economy, one in which a single job routinely supported a household.
Cal Newport points out that “follow your passion” is a catchphrase that has only gotten going in the last 20 years, according to Google’s Ngram viewer, a tool that shows how prominently a given phrase appears in English print over any period of time.
Oh, it's not new, it's been around for ages. It just wasn't as widespread as it is now. Used to be a bohemian thing.
So why is this delusional? Because this is what all GYPSYs think, which defies the definition of special:
spe-cial| ‘speSHel |
adjective
better, greater, or otherwise different from what is usual.
According to this definition, most people are not special—otherwise “special” wouldn’t mean anything.
This is an extremely serious problem, and it's affecting the whole culture. It's the wrong way to think about what special means.
Each person has a unique pattern of strengths and weaknesses. This is so all the stuff can get done, rather than everyone wanting the same job. Most people are special, in that there are some things they do better than other people. Even within a given job, there are variations -- one secretary gives the best phone, another is fastest at filing, and so on. These things matter. They are reasons to hire one person over another, to choose which of half-a-dozen coworkers you ask for help, to take pride in your accomplishments. It is vitally important to understand, not only what makes you special, but what makes each person around you special.
Being special does not make it okay to step on other people, or that everything will be easy. It just means you can do some stuff easier or better than average, and you should apply yourself accordingly.
A second GYPSY delusion comes into play once the GYPSY enters the job market. While Lucy’s parents’ expectation was that many years of hard work would eventually lead to a great career, Lucy considers a great career an obvious given for someone as exceptional as she, and for her it’s just a matter of time and choosing which way to go.
Sort of true, but far from the only factor in play.
* No matter how much talent you have, you always need work to refine it.
* If you are in the right job, it will mostly feel interesting rather than tedious.
* Jobs that feel like too much work for too little reward tend to burn out the workers. This has always been true. People just know a bit more about it now.
* A healthy society helps people identify what they do well and enjoy, so they can make a career of that. Putting people in the wrong job wastes human capital and drags down the economy, which is one of many problems in local-America today.
He says that “a great source of frustration for people with a strong sense of entitlement is unmet expectations. They often feel entitled to a level of respect and rewards that aren’t in line with their actual ability and effort levels, and so they might not get the level of respect and rewards they are expecting.”
This part is true.
For those hiring members of Gen Y, Harvey suggests asking the interview question, “Do you feel you are generally superior to your coworkers/classmates/etc., and if so, why?” He says that “if the candidate answers yes to the first part but struggles with the ‘why,’ there may be an entitlement issue.
This is the most important part. You should know your strengths and be able to list or demonstrate them.* If you can back it up, it's not arrogance, it's confidence. I can back up my claim from the ordinary (breaking academic tests) to the extraordinary (winning a prize for writing poetry in a language I don't speak). You should know what you've already accomplished and also be able to list what you're currently working on. (Today's project: prairie restoration.)
* Note that imposter syndrome can impair people's ability to recognize or report their strengths, skills, and credentials. This has the worst impact on already disadvantaged groups such as women, black people, queerfolk, etc.
The flavor of special that some people are floating around is kind of like monarchy, where people think that falling out of a certain crotch makes them better than everyone else. The problem with this is that it works as long as everyone pretends it does, but when people stop playing along, then there's nothing to fall back on. The genuine article is based on applicable traits, developed skills, and concrete accomplishments -- whether social, professional, or some other sphere.
Social media creates a world for Lucy where A) what everyone else is doing is very out in the open, B) most people present an inflated version of their own existence, and C) the people who chime in the most about their careers are usually those whose careers (or relationships) are going the best, while struggling people tend not to broadcast their situation. This leaves Lucy feeling, incorrectly, like everyone else is doing really well, only adding to her misery.
This is true not only for Generation Y, but for everyone else online. Some people handle this problem by eschewing social media, which reduces but doesn't eliminate it; more rarely, people avoid computers, which is a costly but very effective method. Some cope by posting and/or reading about the messier parts of life, which can help a lot. (So the yard is a mess because a tree fell on it. That's life.) The usual complement of freethinker, anti-brainwashing, or cognitive/logic skills can counteract much of it too. Most people, unfortunately, don't seem able to recognize the bullshitting that is much of the internet nor to find ways of turning down the flow to something more manageable. This can be fatal. So now that is everyone's problem.
2) Stop thinking that you’re special. The fact is, right now, you’re not special. You’re another completely inexperienced young person who doesn’t have all that much to offer yet. You can become special by working really hard for a long time.
Gee, that's a way to kill people's momentum. And possibly people. Because if you don't find out what makes you special, you won't develop it.
3) Ignore everyone else. Other people’s grass seeming greener is no new concept, but in today’s image crafting world, other people’s grass looks like a glorious meadow. The truth is that everyone else is just as indecisive, self-doubting, and frustrated as you are, and if you just do your thing, you’ll never have any reason to envy others.
Largely true.
But let's acknowledge some other stuff affecting Generation Y and later:
* College costs astronomically more than ever before. It saddles young people with crippling debt that can't be discharged. It doesn't guarantee you a job that pays enough to pay off the creditors -- but it is required to apply for most jobs that even might pay enough to live on. This is a disaster.
* Climate change is making the world a lot less hospitable and a lot more expensive. The people whose fault it is will be dead before it gets really bad, leaving their descendants holding the bag. Yes, it's going to get a LOT worse. Many young people find this depressing and/or enraging.
* The younger people are, the fewer resources they have. Older people enjoyed extended families, usually a 2-parent household, few if any moves, civic engagement, and a stable career. Now people have fragmented families, move around more, less civic interaction, and can't even count on staying in the same field let alone the same job. That is much more stress, much less stability, and far fewer people to help them over life's inevitable bumps. It takes its toll.
Yeah. No wonder they're fucked up. You don't get healthy people in a sick society. But that doesn't make it their fault. You want to blame someone, blame the deciders -- and that's not the young.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-06-22 07:20 am (UTC)(you I expected better of)
Thoughts
Date: 2021-06-22 07:28 am (UTC)Probably not.
>> (you I expected better of) <<
I didn't name the article, and I think the acronym is liable to cause confusion. This is, however, one of the more useful articles I've seen on some of these issues, despite its flaws.
I'm not even limiting the problems to Generation Y.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-06-22 11:39 am (UTC)I've read the same arguments against other nomadic peoples, like the Bedu, for "not settling down, getting a job, and putting in the effort".
So it's a sociological bias against those with other intentions than just money as well.
Hmm ...
Date: 2021-06-22 07:37 pm (UTC)If the author is in fact whining about young people not buying property and staying in one place, they should first look at the economics of jobs and homes today. It isn't possible for most youth anymore.
An interesting point from Native American culture: most tribal folks, and I suspect other nomads, think mainstream Americans are crazy to spend most of their time working at a job they hate. Given the negative health impacts of burnout, this is a valid argument.