Poem: "All Over Everything You Do"
Mar. 26th, 2021 12:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem is spillover from the March 2, 2021 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from technoshaman. It has been sponsored by hangingbyastitch in honor of Passover. This poem belongs to the Antimatter and Stalwart Stan thread of the Polychrome Heroics series. It follows "More Anxious to Agree," "Never Carry Them Forward," "Always Repay the Cost," and "Written in Dust," so read those first or this won't make much sense.
"All Over Everything You Do"
Fiddlesticks waited until
his wife and kids had
gone out to get lunch.
Then he turned to
his partner and said,
"All right, spit it out."
"Spit what out?"
Hefty asked him,
trying to look innocent.
"Whatever you've been
chewing on but not saying
since I woke up in this bed,"
Fiddlesticks said, patting
the rail beside his hand.
Hefty sighed. "I already
told you that Dr. Infanta
healed you. Thing is, it
was Lawrence who thought
of cashing that favor, not me."
"I don't blame you for being
distracted," said Fiddlesticks.
"Thanks," said Hefty. "Anyway,
Lawrence set it up, and Stan
sat with us, so they were both
still here when she arrived."
Fiddlesticks grumbled.
"We barely held our own
with her, and we're adults!"
"Actually, Lawrence handled
the protocol just fine, and she
seemed to think it was cute
that Stan treated her like
his little sister," said Hefty.
"Then what's the problem?"
Fiddlesticks asked him.
"Dr. Infanta didn't have
enough energy to cover
all the healing you needed,
so she asked me to donate
a lifeyear, and I did," said Hefty.
"Jesus," said Fiddlesticks.
"Does Diamond know about
this? Does Roger know?"
"No, for two reasons. First,
she offered to give it back
later," said Hefty. "Second,
Stan offered to split it with me --"
"You let a seventeen-year-old boy
make a deal with a supervillain that
you started?" Fiddlesticks screeched.
"-- and then Lawrence jumped in,
so that's only four months each,
which means it probably wouldn't
be noticeable even if we never
got it back," Hefty concluded.
"That's not the point, Hefty,"
said Fiddlesticks. "The point
is that you did it, not that you
probably won't get caught."
"It was my choice," Hefty said.
"It's done, and it's not causing
any ongoing risk. None of us
hesitated to help you out."
"Yes, but you're an adult, you
can make your own choices,"
Fiddlesticks said. "Stan
and Lawrence are minors."
"They're superheroes,"
Hefty said. "They make
big choices all the time."
"They shouldn't have to,"
Fiddlesticks protested.
"I think that's between
Stan and his vocation,
Lawrence and his heart,"
said Hefty. "They may not
understand all the nuances,
but they know their values."
"And what about my values?"
said Fiddlesticks. "I'm a father,
this hits me a little harder."
Hefty spread his hands in
surrender. "I told Lawrence
that I was limited in what I
could permit by proxy, and
that he better talk with you
about advance permissions
before anything else happened."
"All right, that's ... workable given
the situation you had to deal with
at the time," said Fiddlesticks. "I
still don't like it, but I can live with it."
"Oh, good," said Hefty. "So am
I still on your health proxy list?
Assuming we remain a match
after whatever may shake out of
your conversation with Lawrence."
"That kid," Fiddlesticks said, shaking
his head. "He's going to give me
a heart attack some day. Of course
you're still on the list, Hefty, I trust you,
even though we may not always put
our values in exactly the same order."
"Well, values are like fingerprints,"
Hefty said fondly. "Nobody's are
the same, but you leave 'em
all over everything you do."
"Yeah," Fiddlesticks said,
reaching out to pat him.
"I'm glad you're my partner.
I wouldn't change a bit of it."
* * *
Notes:
"Values are like fingerprints. Nobody's are the same, but you leave 'em all over everything you do."
-- Elvis Presley
Values help guide personal decisions. Read a list of values and how to find yours.
(Some of these links are uncomfortable.)
Difficult decisions and ethical dilemmas can be very challenging to resolve. Consider different ethical frameworks. There are tips for making hard choices.
Morality depends on complex factors. There are many models of moral development, and it is inherently a messy topic. Moral values and actions exist on a spectrum, which can be mapped. You can also examine different pillars of morality. Games may use a 3x3 or 5x5 alignment chart. to compare different characters. Here is an explanation of the 3x3 model, which uses good-evil, lawful-chaotic, and neutral. One alternative to alignment is a moral code based on multiple criteria. Here is a class exercise on exploring the moral spectrum.
A moral compass is an inner sense that guides ethical decisions and influences other people. As a superpower, it can provide resistance to mind control or other outside influences, and conversely exert more direct influence over others. While people worry that superpowers would make everyone evil, that's not what happens. Power doesn't corrupt, it reveals. Understand how to calibrate your moral compass and how to teach moral behavior to others.
(These links are controversial.)
Superpowers can greatly complicate ethics. Ideally, superheroes serve as role models. Sometimes, though, so-called "superheroes" basically act like supervillains. Conversely, some supervillains have good intentions, though not good methods. Consider the influence that superpowers can have on people who develop them. Now add the fact that something doesn't have to be a superpower per se, merely a big advantage, to create a similar power imbalance. The questions of morality in superpowers immediately become relevant in that context, which is one that many more people encounter. Ask yourself what you would do if power -- any kind of power -- meant that you wouldn't get caught or punished.
(These links are tense.)
Ethics and loyalty can create conflicts. Understand how to resolve ethical dilemmas and handle conflicts of loyalty. In extreme cases, people may quit over ethical issues. Hefty doesn't want to lose Fiddlesticks, so he's trying to make sure that their ethics still match.
Trust building is an important part of growing up and forming relationships. Rebuilding trust is necessary for sustainable relationships, because everyone makes mistakes sometimes and you need ways of regaining trust in each other. Fortunately, Fiddlesticks still trusts Hefty.
It has to be okay to make mistakes, because everyone makes mistakes and that's how we learn. Create an environment that is resilient about mistakes. This encourages people to deal with them and learn from them instead of hiding them and making matters worse. There's even a game for learning this. In one of my online classes I assigned students to try a project at the edge of their current skill level, which pretty much guarantees something will go a bit pear-shaped. Here, everyone has learned the importance of communication and advance directives.
technoshaman. It has been sponsored by hangingbyastitch in honor of Passover. This poem belongs to the Antimatter and Stalwart Stan thread of the Polychrome Heroics series. It follows "More Anxious to Agree," "Never Carry Them Forward," "Always Repay the Cost," and "Written in Dust," so read those first or this won't make much sense."All Over Everything You Do"
Fiddlesticks waited until
his wife and kids had
gone out to get lunch.
Then he turned to
his partner and said,
"All right, spit it out."
"Spit what out?"
Hefty asked him,
trying to look innocent.
"Whatever you've been
chewing on but not saying
since I woke up in this bed,"
Fiddlesticks said, patting
the rail beside his hand.
Hefty sighed. "I already
told you that Dr. Infanta
healed you. Thing is, it
was Lawrence who thought
of cashing that favor, not me."
"I don't blame you for being
distracted," said Fiddlesticks.
"Thanks," said Hefty. "Anyway,
Lawrence set it up, and Stan
sat with us, so they were both
still here when she arrived."
Fiddlesticks grumbled.
"We barely held our own
with her, and we're adults!"
"Actually, Lawrence handled
the protocol just fine, and she
seemed to think it was cute
that Stan treated her like
his little sister," said Hefty.
"Then what's the problem?"
Fiddlesticks asked him.
"Dr. Infanta didn't have
enough energy to cover
all the healing you needed,
so she asked me to donate
a lifeyear, and I did," said Hefty.
"Jesus," said Fiddlesticks.
"Does Diamond know about
this? Does Roger know?"
"No, for two reasons. First,
she offered to give it back
later," said Hefty. "Second,
Stan offered to split it with me --"
"You let a seventeen-year-old boy
make a deal with a supervillain that
you started?" Fiddlesticks screeched.
"-- and then Lawrence jumped in,
so that's only four months each,
which means it probably wouldn't
be noticeable even if we never
got it back," Hefty concluded.
"That's not the point, Hefty,"
said Fiddlesticks. "The point
is that you did it, not that you
probably won't get caught."
"It was my choice," Hefty said.
"It's done, and it's not causing
any ongoing risk. None of us
hesitated to help you out."
"Yes, but you're an adult, you
can make your own choices,"
Fiddlesticks said. "Stan
and Lawrence are minors."
"They're superheroes,"
Hefty said. "They make
big choices all the time."
"They shouldn't have to,"
Fiddlesticks protested.
"I think that's between
Stan and his vocation,
Lawrence and his heart,"
said Hefty. "They may not
understand all the nuances,
but they know their values."
"And what about my values?"
said Fiddlesticks. "I'm a father,
this hits me a little harder."
Hefty spread his hands in
surrender. "I told Lawrence
that I was limited in what I
could permit by proxy, and
that he better talk with you
about advance permissions
before anything else happened."
"All right, that's ... workable given
the situation you had to deal with
at the time," said Fiddlesticks. "I
still don't like it, but I can live with it."
"Oh, good," said Hefty. "So am
I still on your health proxy list?
Assuming we remain a match
after whatever may shake out of
your conversation with Lawrence."
"That kid," Fiddlesticks said, shaking
his head. "He's going to give me
a heart attack some day. Of course
you're still on the list, Hefty, I trust you,
even though we may not always put
our values in exactly the same order."
"Well, values are like fingerprints,"
Hefty said fondly. "Nobody's are
the same, but you leave 'em
all over everything you do."
"Yeah," Fiddlesticks said,
reaching out to pat him.
"I'm glad you're my partner.
I wouldn't change a bit of it."
* * *
Notes:
"Values are like fingerprints. Nobody's are the same, but you leave 'em all over everything you do."
-- Elvis Presley
Values help guide personal decisions. Read a list of values and how to find yours.
(Some of these links are uncomfortable.)
Difficult decisions and ethical dilemmas can be very challenging to resolve. Consider different ethical frameworks. There are tips for making hard choices.
Morality depends on complex factors. There are many models of moral development, and it is inherently a messy topic. Moral values and actions exist on a spectrum, which can be mapped. You can also examine different pillars of morality. Games may use a 3x3 or 5x5 alignment chart. to compare different characters. Here is an explanation of the 3x3 model, which uses good-evil, lawful-chaotic, and neutral. One alternative to alignment is a moral code based on multiple criteria. Here is a class exercise on exploring the moral spectrum.
A moral compass is an inner sense that guides ethical decisions and influences other people. As a superpower, it can provide resistance to mind control or other outside influences, and conversely exert more direct influence over others. While people worry that superpowers would make everyone evil, that's not what happens. Power doesn't corrupt, it reveals. Understand how to calibrate your moral compass and how to teach moral behavior to others.
(These links are controversial.)
Superpowers can greatly complicate ethics. Ideally, superheroes serve as role models. Sometimes, though, so-called "superheroes" basically act like supervillains. Conversely, some supervillains have good intentions, though not good methods. Consider the influence that superpowers can have on people who develop them. Now add the fact that something doesn't have to be a superpower per se, merely a big advantage, to create a similar power imbalance. The questions of morality in superpowers immediately become relevant in that context, which is one that many more people encounter. Ask yourself what you would do if power -- any kind of power -- meant that you wouldn't get caught or punished.
(These links are tense.)
Ethics and loyalty can create conflicts. Understand how to resolve ethical dilemmas and handle conflicts of loyalty. In extreme cases, people may quit over ethical issues. Hefty doesn't want to lose Fiddlesticks, so he's trying to make sure that their ethics still match.
Trust building is an important part of growing up and forming relationships. Rebuilding trust is necessary for sustainable relationships, because everyone makes mistakes sometimes and you need ways of regaining trust in each other. Fortunately, Fiddlesticks still trusts Hefty.
It has to be okay to make mistakes, because everyone makes mistakes and that's how we learn. Create an environment that is resilient about mistakes. This encourages people to deal with them and learn from them instead of hiding them and making matters worse. There's even a game for learning this. In one of my online classes I assigned students to try a project at the edge of their current skill level, which pretty much guarantees something will go a bit pear-shaped. Here, everyone has learned the importance of communication and advance directives.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-26 02:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-26 03:44 pm (UTC)If someone sincerely apologizes, or is willing to talk out the problem, or fixes whatever it was or you've got good emotional suppourt, the whole affair might even tend towards the positive.
However if people blame you, ignore the problem, or abandon you to deal with it yourself (or worse, expect you to do stuff for them while managing the problem without help*) then that can be ruinous, both to your health and the wellbeing of the relationship.
*Does not apply to kids and pets and people too ill/incoherent or otherwise unable to help (or accurately perceive the need for help).
I would however expect an immobile but alert and communicative human adult to express concern for an overwhelmed caretaker.