My recurring posts began years ago, when Suzette Haden Elgin mentioned the diminishment of community and how hard it was to replace some facetime support with online support. I thought about that and realized that there are often analogs online but most people don't think about or use them as direct replacements. Frex, you can order flowers, food, and gifts online then have them delivered; you can host a social occasion on your blog; but few folks think of combining those into a virtual baby shower. I've done that for friends before.
So I started with two community-building posts that would give people social support even if they didn't have any locally: Good News and Hard Things. Eventually I added Cuddle Party if there was a 5th Wednesday, and it was so popular that I made it a regular feature the next year.
Cyberspace is like the Jedi Tree, or Underhill; it contains only what we bring into it, and we can bring anything we want. I am sufficiently used to reality-creation models that I can do it fluently in cyberspace as long as someone else handles the damn code.
The tools are free and easily replicated. They can adapt to any culture. And people need them in a society that is increasingly solitary.
I'm really grateful you started the cuddle parties, and have such a good grasp at how to build positive, supportive communities. I stumbled upon my first Cuddle Party post at a rather difficult time in my life and it was enormously helpful. I'll admit I cried the first time I read it because it was something I wanted so badly to have in person (and didn't then), but the online format worked a lot better for me than I first anticipated.
I look forward to them a lot now, and they're something I'm glad I found, along with the people who participate. I'm happy to spread it too, because everyone should have something soft and nice if they want it.
>> I'm really grateful you started the cuddle parties, <<
*bow, flourish* Happy to be of service.
>> and have such a good grasp at how to build positive, supportive communities. <<
It's a combination of farmemory, psychology, sociology, diverse cultures, and in this life a few decades of experience online. It's a lot easier to build things when you already remember what they're supposed to look like.
>> I stumbled upon my first Cuddle Party post at a rather difficult time in my life and it was enormously helpful. I'll admit I cried the first time I read it because it was something I wanted so badly to have in person (and didn't then),<<
Aww. I wish more people could have this in person -- it's inspired partly by some places I have enjoyed -- but this is better than nothing. And for some folks, better than facetime offers, for various reasons.
>> but the online format worked a lot better for me than I first anticipated.<<
Yay!
>> I look forward to them a lot now, and they're something I'm glad I found, along with the people who participate. <<
\o/
>> I'm happy to spread it too, because everyone should have something soft and nice if they want it.<<
I'm delighted to see it spreading, and I hope that more people make their own versions.
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dancing_serpent
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-06 02:48 am (UTC)You're welcome!
Date: 2021-01-06 03:36 am (UTC)My recurring posts began years ago, when Suzette Haden Elgin mentioned the diminishment of community and how hard it was to replace some facetime support with online support. I thought about that and realized that there are often analogs online but most people don't think about or use them as direct replacements. Frex, you can order flowers, food, and gifts online then have them delivered; you can host a social occasion on your blog; but few folks think of combining those into a virtual baby shower. I've done that for friends before.
So I started with two community-building posts that would give people social support even if they didn't have any locally: Good News and Hard Things. Eventually I added Cuddle Party if there was a 5th Wednesday, and it was so popular that I made it a regular feature the next year.
Cyberspace is like the Jedi Tree, or Underhill; it contains only what we bring into it, and we can bring anything we want. I am sufficiently used to reality-creation models that I can do it fluently in cyberspace as long as someone else handles the damn code.
The tools are free and easily replicated. They can adapt to any culture. And people need them in a society that is increasingly solitary.
Re: You're welcome!
Date: 2021-01-06 05:02 am (UTC)I look forward to them a lot now, and they're something I'm glad I found, along with the people who participate. I'm happy to spread it too, because everyone should have something soft and nice if they want it.
Re: You're welcome!
Date: 2021-01-06 05:13 am (UTC)*bow, flourish* Happy to be of service.
>> and have such a good grasp at how to build positive, supportive communities. <<
It's a combination of farmemory, psychology, sociology, diverse cultures, and in this life a few decades of experience online. It's a lot easier to build things when you already remember what they're supposed to look like.
>> I stumbled upon my first Cuddle Party post at a rather difficult time in my life and it was enormously helpful. I'll admit I cried the first time I read it because it was something I wanted so badly to have in person (and didn't then),<<
Aww. I wish more people could have this in person -- it's inspired partly by some places I have enjoyed -- but this is better than nothing. And for some folks, better than facetime offers, for various reasons.
>> but the online format worked a lot better for me than I first anticipated.<<
Yay!
>> I look forward to them a lot now, and they're something I'm glad I found, along with the people who participate. <<
\o/
>> I'm happy to spread it too, because everyone should have something soft and nice if they want it.<<
I'm delighted to see it spreading, and I hope that more people make their own versions.